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Previous Thread: >>2965062
Smut Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/Mm327hpp

>What do I do here?
Discuss Warhammer stuff i.e. lore, tabletop/videogame, and post smut. This is a comfy thread, so we do not want it to turn to /vg/ or, worse, /v/.

>Is writefaggotry allowed?
Yes! /tg/ used to have their weekly smut threads years ago, but some anons in /tg/ threw a hissy fit believing smut threads to be not "true" /tg/. As a result, any smut thread was spammed with so many shitposts that the threads stopped all together. In the end, the anti-writefag anons sat on their chairs in smug self-righteous satisfaction eating their chicken tenders, not knowing how much of an ass they made of themselves. This thread is to reignite the smut tradition of /tg/.
New pastebins are always included with each new thread that will include previously saved works and updated chapters. FYI, >>>/trash/ has its own writefag thread which encompasses all smut instead of ones that are Warhammer-related.

>Can I post Warhammer memes?
You can but do not be autistic about it. This is a porn thread after all.
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>>2979690
Maybe we could try to get some drawfags doing fem versions of the /tg chapters? Angry Marine-chan being all tsundere with Reasonable Marine-chan
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>>2979956
...source?
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>>2979966
Korgoth of Barbaria
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ep65rr-9qjQ
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>>2979911
Let's not do that. In fact let's never use this female Space Marine BS ever again.
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>No tol daemon primarch gf
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How do you all feel about felinids?
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>>2980122
>that orangutan
kek
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>>2979911
I can't draw for shit. Just paste a cute Battle Sister's face over a Space Marine's.
>>2979993
Aren't Living Saints, Sisters of Battle, Geminae Superia, Sisters of Silence, Daemonettes, Female Demons of the Chaos Gods, Female Commissars, Female Imperial Guards, and Death Cult Assassins enough? What point is there having female space marines other than for "diversity" "So Progressive", "gurl power xD", and rule 34 porn? From a biological standpoint, males are generally larger than females, so males can take more punishment (inb4 MGTOW). It will make more sense for only men to have the role of Space Marines. Besides, I don't want to buy any more hypothetical female Space Marine table top figures.
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>>2980269
Social justice types typically don't bother with 40k.
>rule 34 porn
You mean Rule 63 porn, common mistake. Not like it matters because they don't have a single feature that suggests "Space Marine" beyond a couple of symbols. The Emperor Himself said that female Space Marines couldn't work. Do you think you know better than Him?

>>2980272
I don't want to see this hack's work posted here again either. It's literally just ordinary women with pieces of Space Marine armor on them, and you're scum if you think this is worth posting.

And CYOAs have always been utter trash.
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>>2980267
It's a Jokaero
a more obscure part of canon
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>>2980287
>I don't want to see this hack's work posted here again either. It's literally just ordinary women with pieces of Space Marine armor on them, and you're scum if you think this is worth posting.
>And CYOAs have always been utter trash.
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>>2980201
>felinids
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUuvHPr4BGk
pure terror
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>>2980325
The truth hurts, doesn't it? Next time try posting actual 40k girls.
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>>2980287
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>>2980331
No need for female space marine when you gotT H I C C Battle Sisters.
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>>2980337
See, this guy's got the right idea (maybe not the thicc part, but that's beside the point). The bolter bitches are the way to go if you want ladies with power armor and bolters, and they're much more fun too.
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>>2980272
No Salamanders? No Iron Warriors? No Luna Wolves? No Raven Guard?
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>>2980355
Those hip, man. Damn.
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>>2980355
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>no callidus assassin gf who will stalk you and sneak into your room to ride you while you sleep
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>>2979690
>>Is writefaggotry allowed?
>Yes! /tg/ used to have their weekly smut threads years ago, but some anons in /tg/ threw a hissy fit believing smut threads to be not "true" /tg/. As a result, any smut thread was spammed with so many shitposts that the threads stopped all together.

Except that's not what happened. While there was some shitposting in the threads, they stopped happening because they got banned. They got banned because some asshole started making the threads outside of the weekend. Also, last I checked they finally ended up in /trash/ because the mods in /d/ haven't quite figured out how to read, and since all the big words made them angry, they banned the smut threads. Same thing happened to caption threads too. It's all very stupid and should never have happened in the first place, but it did.
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>>2980477
It was banned specifically because of the shitposting (and the shitposters were the people who made them outside the weekend so they could shitpost more), because the mods figured the best way to stop the shitposting was to ban the threads.

And you're right about the /trash/ thing, nobody's happy about that and they'd dearly love to get back onto /d/. Or possibly here, it was tried once but didn't work out too well.
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>tfw no howling banshee gf with unusually large breasts that gets teased by all her sisters for her giant and cumbersome sacks of fat
just give me the emperor's peace right now
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>>2980272
Post the newest version faggot!

>>2980366
>No Luna Wolves?
Here you go!
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>>2980369
goddammit at first glance i thought malcador was some little kid and i had a sudden image of malcador as a magical girl and i hate it
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Which are the lewdest girls in 40k?
Hard mode: No dark eldar.
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Don't get me wrong, I like me some Warhammer/40k smut, but it's going to get kinda repetitive with the same images
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>>2980783
unfortunately there's not exactly a surplus of artists drawing new ones :(
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>>2980675
Craftworld Eldar. They've got the same desires, and all that repression means that they're wilder when they do get to express it.
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>This will never be me and my Eldar waifu
End my suffering
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>>2981125
Such is our luck for not being alive in the 41st/42nd millennium. And not being attractive enough for an Eldar to take a liking to us.
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>>2981125
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>>2981131
I would rather some eldar decided to visit me at night for some experimentation in the 2000s. Then decided to stay because she enjoyed my companionship so much. That way i avoid everything that happens after.
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>>2981125
>>2981131
>>2981143
With that attitude you won't even get a Daemonette gf. Ever heard of radical genetic enhancement surgery? It makes your penis larger too albeit there is an itty-bitty 46% chance you won't survive the procedure.
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>>2981151
If I wanted a girlfriend with a giant cock I'd visit /d/.
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Which Chaos Space Marine legion member would you share a house with? For me, it's the Thousand Sons.
>knows all kinds of spells
>is the most cool-headed compared to the other Chapters
>rocks a blue w/ gold-trimmed armor set
>is a true bro who uses his extensive knawledge to help you
>hates furries
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>>2981174
im not a fan of dusting
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>>2981125
Who the fuck puts curtains on a space window? Use window shaders, jeez. And why they in the middle of the hallway acting out some terrible vox-cable soap opera?
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>>2981340
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>>2980329
>If Reddit had a text-to-speech
Hard pass
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Like last thread, would like to ask if we got any pics with pregnancy in them?
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>>2981125
>tfw no farseer gf to embarrass by thinking lewd stuff about her
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>>2981197
You would've had to been on Sortiarius when the rubric was cast to afflicted. Now, the only problem is the constant LSD reality from Tzeentch.
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>>2981151
I'd charge at the opportunity, FOR THE EMPEROR!
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>>2981174
Yeah probably Thousand Sons too.
I mean, every other choice ends up with my home turning into a Church of Chaos with a violent chaos bible thumper inside, or me violently killed and eaten, or me violently raped, drugged, killed and eaten, or my house gets filled with terrorists, or becomes the source of every single deadly disease.

With a rubric marine you just have a giant cool looking statue that occasionally moves and does something.
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>>2980154
Tzeentch is laughing at me, I already know it.
>>2980154
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>>2982162
Magnus a QT
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>>2980477
>Except that's not what happened.
That's exactly what happened. The threads were never banned because they were smut, they were banned because one shitposter was so enraged, he kept ban evading and literraly spammed (as in, literaly shat as much as he could) false threads all day long.
Because he was ban evading, the mods eventually gave up and just set the /wst/ tagged threads on autosage.
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To celebrate Valentine's Day, here's a vanilla romance between a Guardsman and a Howling Banshee
>http://pastebin.com/tGLB9UMU
WH40K, Guardsman x Howling Banshee, oral:male, oral:female, vaginal, vanilla
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A female commissar demanding the guardsman to tell her she's pretty.
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>>2980122
Sauce on the pic behind the bottle?
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Xenos are for rape, not for hand holding.
Don't spread heresy and degeneracy.
Be especially cautious with Eldar whores. They possess deadly strain of Warp AIDS contained within so-called spirit stones. Be sure to crush all the whores' little jewels before coitus to release the disease into Immaterium where it belongs.
And don't use lube. Our knowledge of xenos' biochemistry is incomplete and only God Emperor knows what kind of volatile reaction their filthy bodies may produce in response to our blessed oils and ointments.
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>>2982547
>says the fatass who's probably in Slaanesh's clutches
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>>2982547
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>>2980154
This just makes me want to see aggressive Leman x Magnus-chan sex.
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>>2982775
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>>2982782
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>>2982784
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>>2982786
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>>2982385
That's actually really sweet
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>>2982767
>>2982770
>>2982775
>>2982779
>>2982782
>>2982784
>>2982786
>>2982788
furry ain't welcome 'round these parts, boi
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>>2982821
Even if it's cannon?
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>>2982821
>best race of Warhammer isn't welcome in Warhammer threads
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>>2982856
don't make me report you
i'm giving you fair warning, if you want skaven go to /trash/
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>>2982859
If want to be a fag go to >>>/lgbt/
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>>2982859
>being a literal faggot when in lore people turned by chaos can form horns, hooves, trans, animals, etc. etc. etc.

It's like you don't even know 40K
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>>2982890
ratfags deserve the rope senpai, sorry
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>>2982385
by the emperor how heretical, yet how good
please do more of it
wish i had a howling banshee gf
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>>2982969
Guy whose pastebin that was posted on. I didn't write it, I collected it because the original writefag didn't want to put it on pastebin- he's long since gone as far as I know.

I did do my own personal take on the concept, and although it's one of my cruder things in hindsight it's still there for those who wish to see it.

https://pastebin.com/g1UghCe8
Tags are more or less the same, minus the oral parts.
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>>2982969
>>2982385
>Howling Banshee GF
This is how you do it properly: https://pastebin.com/eYPKmmic
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>>2982984
unironically delete this post
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>>2982982
man, vanilla eldar stories are my cocaine, i need all of them
i give in to this sweet heretical temptation, emperor forgive me




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"Trust not in their appearance for the Eldar are as utterly alien to good, honest men as the vile Tyranids and savage Orks. They are capricious and fickle, attacking without cause or warning. There is no understanding them for there is nothing to understand – they are a random force in the universe."
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>>2983154
Why do you post these images on a porn thread?
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>>2983154
By the Emperor! /aco/ told my the Eldar are cute, not ugly like this.
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>>2983190
Don't listen to that out-of-date, dubiously canon piece of piss. That was written back in the days when the Star Child was still a thing and the Necrons were still Oldcrons.

Hell, it even got basic knowledge like Tau not having toes completely wrong.
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>>2983203
Every image of the Tau I see has them with different feet. Sometimes hooves, sometimes three toes, etc.
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>>2983215
Point is, I wouldn't trust Xenology. Even in universe, the cogboy who wrote all those reports was a frothing loony.
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>>2983203
shut up xenology gave us the fact eldar poop crystals

get it? their shit literally doesn't stink

its fucking brilliant
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>>2983226
Unless their intestines are made of iron, that can't possibly work.
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>>2983228
>the psychic race that has nearly 0% bodyfat and moves faster than pro quake players ingame can't have magic poop because biology
nigga please
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>>2983232
It can't have 0% bodyfat either. I mean, we've seen their tits and there's no way that's pure muscle.
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>>2983228
You know crystals can be smooth right? Not to mention if the rest of their body is elastic, why would the intestines, the most elastic part of the human body, be somehow different?
>>2983233
It's probably a form of gel.
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>>2983233
check
>>2983154
no body fat
let me put it this way anon:
lore descriptions of eldar are gay, the idea of them being svelte-yet-curvaceous-where-it-counts space elves is way better
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>>2983241
That's what I'm saying, and that the techpriest who wrote this was insane. It's in the book and everything.
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>>2983247
glad we agree
now post cute eldar because i ran out
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>>2983247
The cult mechanicus are the most enlightened members of the Imperium. You'd trust a xeno over a human?
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>>2983251
He literally went insane in the book and was taking orders from a fucking NECRON. I'd rather trust the xeno that isn't a skeleton robot working for the all-consuming alien star-god thing. (It was written back in the pre-Newcron days.)
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>>2983251
I'm a sucker for pretty elves so yes, I would.
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>>2983258
>>2983250
I see that Dark Eldar are fine too. Hey, some of them might want to be gentle just to mix things up.
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>>2983263
I want to hold hands with Lelith
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>>2983320
I want to make love to her.
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>>2982157
Imagine instead you had Tzeentch as your roommate. Imagine asking him what he wants to eat when you want to treat him to a meal.
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>>2983335
I mean I'm sure the nerd would spend 24/7 in his room playing chess with himself or playing Grand Strategy/RTS games.
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>>2983329
>you will never mating press lelith
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>>2983346
Mostly because she'll mating press you instead, although that's fine too.
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>>2983251
>mechanicus
>human
Mechanicus are almost as alien to humans as tyranids or orks.
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>>2983350
The heretics cope.
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>>2983360
>heretic
Nah, I'm not someone who thinks that omnissiah = emprah. THOSE are the real heretics. Let the Imperium keep its corpse to itself.
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>>2983228
>its just RIDICULOUS the space elves that turn into crystal if they live too long and occasionally fart out warp gods poop crystals
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>>2982385
Great, thank you.
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>>2983154
You can look up armybook art were they don't look like that so it doesn't matter.
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>>2982767
>>2982770
>>2982775
>>2982779
>>2982782
>>2982784
>>2982786
>>2982788
So this is how furfags are born...
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>>2982385
>It was comforting to her to know no matter how low her sisters made her feel, she would never be beneath a human.
kek
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>half of the people in this thread
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>>2983543
Why was my first rat pic deleted but not the rest?
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I see many fanfic writers who take their own creative twists on WH40k. The stories they create show much promise, but the huge turn-off for me is clunky dialogue and lack of a beta reader.
>Clunky Dialogue
Adding in the words "said", "asked" ,"explained", or any other similar word after every single quote. It's just redundant, and it irks me having to read repeated words that just lowers the quality of the writing. Use such words sparingly.

Example:

>John looked up to see the stranger.

>"Max!", yelled John. The young man sat up to embrace his friend. "It's been too long, man. How have you been?" asked John.

>Max grunted from the bear hug, "No long time no see, John. Um, can you let go for a moment?" asked Max.

Doesn't sound great, does it? Now remove the redundant words, and you get this:

>John looked up to see the stranger. "Max!", the young man sat up to embrace his old friend, "It's been too long, man. How have you been?"

>Max grunted from the bear hug, "No long time no see, John. Um, can you let go for a moment?"

See how smooth the dialogue flows? You do not need to end every dialogue with "he said", "she asked", etc.

Oh, and do avoid adding adverbs to describe how someone speaks.

Example:

>"Well, how do you want it done!?", yelled Mary angrily.

First off, how are we -- the reader -- supposed to know how just how angry Mary is? It could be a simple dramatic huff or full-blown rage. Instead, describe the character's action or behavior to tell the reader what they are feeling.

>Mary clenched her fists, "Well, how do you want it done!?"

We don't need to be told Mary is angry because her clenching her fists implies her irritation. Not only that, it makes your writing so much more "well-written".

Here's a link on how to improve writing good dialogue: https://www.nownovel.com/blog/writing-dialogue-examples/

Final note, always have a beta reader. Don't think ""I'll proofread it myself" or "I'll re-read it after a couple of days to proofread".
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>>2983589
idk but do you have the source? Reverse image search brings up "warhammer female skaven fan art", "cartoon", and "Clitoris".
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>>2983589
Probably because some anon reported that post to the mods.
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>>2983612
Artist name is kiguri.
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>>2983629
Thanks,

F
A
M
.
>>
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Post more AdMech girls.
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>>2980272
>no autistic iron warriors with pink hair image
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>>2980287
Fuck off cuckold
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>>2983603
beta readers are for the weak
>>
>>
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Here's some more Warhammer smut 'cause even in the grim darkness of the future, people need love. I did not write any of these. Credit goes to the original writers.

The Covenant of Sanctified Souls
>https://pastebin.com/P1N0BEqb
Sister of Battle x Novice Clergyboy, /ss/, oral:male, vaginal, titfuck, vanilla

The Mistresses
>http://pastebin.com/9YTxwy7t
Guardsman x Twin Dark Eldar Succubi, reverse rape, threesome, oral!male, oral!female, anal, vagina
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>>2984696
Same anon here's an extra for the weebs.

Christmas Present (Tau Girl Wrapping Paper)
>https://pastebin.com/BC2A0jXT
Tau woman x guardsman, vanilla, fingering, from behind
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>>2984696
>>2984734
I feel like writing something about a crazed Rapecron that awakens, realities he still has no dick, crafts a transmogrifying necrodermis cawk, and then ventures on a Rape crusade through the galaxy searching for meaning in his eternity.
Trapping his favorite "lovers" into Tesseracts designed as infinitely complex rape dungeons, creating slaves with mindshackles on a wacky quest to assfuck both the Chaos Gods and the C'tan in the end.
>>
>>2983647
When I realized the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.
I craved the strength and certainty of steel.
I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. You cling to your flesh as it will not decay and fail you.
One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither.
And you will beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved.
For the machine is immortal.
Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.
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Any draw friends here? I'd love to see a lewd of this gal, be she pure female or futa
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>>
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>>2979690
>These vile, heretical and unholy threads still keep showing up

For the love of the Holy God Emperor why doesn't the Exterminated command work!?!?!!???!?!??!!
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>>2985280
That's.... Actually pretty convincing
>>
So did the Emperor shit out his son's or did he have legit human females give birth to them and then edited them during incubation?
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>>2985712
Macha, no!
>>2986035
>human females
Eldar females.
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>>2986041
>Eldar females.
Eldar goddess.
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>>2986093
>Eldar goddess.
Eldar whores.
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>>2986093
Yeah, Isha.
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>>2986035
Mom was a tube in Mount Everest. Mom Everest.
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>>2986523
Momperor.
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>>2986568
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>>2987023
>>2987018
tfw no slaanesh gf
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>>2987051
>>
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>>2987057
cute
>>
I would watch a Warhammer series starring the four chaos gods getting into all sorts of shenanigans.
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>>2987018
>Khorne love a Malal

WTF THIS SHIT HERETIC?
>>
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>>2987511
You wouldn't happen to have a larger cutout version of any of those images would ya? because those are great.
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>>2987533
Afraid not, sorry.
>>
Found something in ff.net. It's about a druchii trying to be a pirate. (smut is in chapter 2)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13203307/1/
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>>2985451
>meet at bar
>seduce her, have a epic one night stand
>wake up the next day, SHES A DUDE
Wtf, were you always a dude!?!?
>"no silly i just changed overnight"
.....
>"and now im a futa, im gonna make breakfast"
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>"Why are there no female Space Marines?"
>>
>>
>>2987023
Translation when?
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>>2988443
>>
>>2988443
>19.M3
>can't read slav runes
>>
>>
>https://pastebin.com/HUzab9jW
Krieger x Dark Eldar
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>>2988165
>no boobplate
dropped
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>>2989737
probably some shitty reddit "redesign" that aims to try and get rid of female sexuality. Thank god for Shad btfoing boobplate haters.
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>>2989737
>>2989808
>not focusing on the thighs
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>>2980269
>female commissars
>female Guards
These 2 things single handedly ruin 40k
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>>2989873
Also
>female inquisitors
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>>2989847
Those thunder thighs? I'm insulted that you'd think they'd elicit anything other than disgust.

>>2989873
>>2989877
Found the incels.
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>>2989737
>>2989808
its always the same with those fucks
'its not REALISTIC' like fuck my ass these are warrior nuns who fly between star systems through hell to kill people with handheld flamethrowers that shoot sanctified gasoline in the name of a 40,000 year old corpse

its such bullshit i wish they could just be honest and say that they're afraid of women being hot instead
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>>2989873
females exist in all roles in the imperium
Only not space marines, but not because they wouldnt make fine space marines, but because the process of making space marines uses genetic material from the emperor and is therefore not compatible with non males.
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>>2990135
Don't kinkshame me.
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>>2987134
It's Valkia the Bloody you uncultured mayfly.
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>>2981505
Shut up you faggot
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>>2989873
Stupid frogposter
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>>2990294
The women in Warhammer are indeed hot, whether they don blessed armor in intense battle that shows off their curves, wear skin-tight outfits that leaves little to the imagination to assassinate their targets, or wearing nothing at all as they burn.
>>
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Fulgrim : "Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me?"

Ferrus : "I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer."

Fulgrim : "Oh ho! Then come as close as you like, brother!"
>>
>>2980122
why wont GW release alternative heads for IG? id love womens' heads to spice up figures, or even have an all womens' battalion
and its not like ge imperium doesnt draft from literally every single demographic in the empire for war
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>>2991135
Some child soldier models would be cool too. Whiteshields or Conscripts.
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>>2991135
>>2991151
I'm still waiting for the Grey Knights buff, but instead GW nerfs these aluminum tin cans repeatedly.
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>>2991135
because GW hates women and all the fans are sweating psychopaths who think girls are gross

nah real talk they probably have some in development but it takes a while to go from concept to full production. the new chaos marines are great to see and i'm hopeful they keep rolling out new plastic updates to things like eldar and imperial guard
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>>2991156
When a limb has been infected by Ward, you don't wait to see if it gets better, you chop it off.
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>>2989877
you see, the guardsmen thing makes sense. inquisitors are as much investigator as they are combat monster so its less of an issue. also, being a psyker can level the playing field in all sorts of ways.

TL:DR go fuck yourself.
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>>2991328
As far as I can tell most/many inquisitors aren't hugely combat inclined at all.

Sure most of them can fight somewhat, but not necessarily any more than a police officer or something.
But they have massive access to technology and other hacks. Whereas humanity's grunts and dregs are pretty much totally reliant on their own physicality so physical standards & expectations are going to be applied (probably to varying degrees epending on planet/situation).

Having said that it's pretty much canon that Ordo Malleus Inquisitors are badass motherfuckers in combat by necessity, and technology alone isn't going to give you the edge to hammer in a bloodthirsters face, you need to be good as well.
>>
>>2991328
How would it make sense not to have female Guard? The Imperium doesn't give a shit about your sex so long as you know which way to point your lasgun and can follow orders.

Besides, the average life expectancy in the IG following recruitment is 15 hours, so most of them won't even live long enough to have any differences in ability be relevant.
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>>2991549
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>>2991552
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>>2991543
Take your guro fetishism elsewhere freak
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>>2985280
>Keprah lewds never ever

>>2985910
https://youtu.be/9gIMZ0WyY88
That's mostly because it's from a trailer of a very good 40k game.
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>>2980801
Almost like the imperiums technological stagnation
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>>2991552
>>2991553
Lt. Mira is pretty cool dude.
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>>2991343
Agreed.
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>>2991543
We have a female Primarch. Fulgrim.
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>>2991741
>tfw no goth taldeer gf
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>>2991741
Dimetrius x Slaanesh(female) best otp.
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>>2992227
That's Lelith Hesperax, not that Ulthwe floozy.
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>>2992312
bottom left is taldeer
she's even with LIIVI
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>>2992316
Oops, thought you were linking to >>2992003
My mistake
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>>2992320
maybe that's also taldeer cosplaying for liivi
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>>2992253
>Brother Dimetrius uses his psyker powers to turn Slaanesh into the Chaos God of Love
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>>2992467
But Slaanesh IS The Chaos God of Love.




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