[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice



Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.



File: 166153488[1].jpg (30 KB, 449x381)
30 KB
30 KB JPG
GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, fart guy, platonic cuddling guy
Fuck off
>>
guy here. I really want to overcome my fears, and I think I finally managed to rationalize them... so, here are my questions:

women: how do you feel when some guy seduces you for a while only to have sex with you, and then disappears? do you feel ashamed, lonely, sad for yourself, cheated, great because you had fun, good because someone likes you? do you use guys for sex, too?

anyone (please identify your gender when responding): do women prefer respectful guys or horny guys? is this even a dichotomy? and by that I mean, can guys show themselves as respectful AND horny? if so, how could one do it?
>>
>>18143092
>women: how do you feel when some guy seduces you for a while only to have sex with you, and then disappears? do you feel ashamed, lonely, sad for yourself, cheated, great because you had fun, good because someone likes you? do you use guys for sex, too?
I don't do casual sex and if I did, then I would only do it if I wanted to and I was comfortable, so I don't think I would feel bad about it. That said, I have had friends who have been led on by guys (not 'seduced,' because that term is neckbeard-level cringey) and they have felt upset and angry about it

>anyone (please identify your gender when responding): do women prefer respectful guys or horny guys? is this even a dichotomy? and by that I mean, can guys show themselves as respectful AND horny? if so, how could one do it?
Yes, it's definitely possible to be both. It means doing things like backing off when you're told no or otherwise rejected, and being interested in someone as a person, not just as a thing to fuck. It's not hard to not treat people like shit
>>
>>18143074
>>18143074

Do guys get scared if you are 35 year old female and a virgin? Not fat and ugly, look at least 10 years younger, late bloomer and have Aspergers (which I obviously won't tell), have never really spoken to the opposite gender outside the family.
>>
>>18143111
Guys like it when a girl can read
>>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>>
>>18143096
>I don't do casual sex and if I did, then I would only do it if I wanted to and I was comfortable, so I don't think I would feel bad about it. That said, I have had friends who have been led on by guys and they have felt upset and angry about it
do you think one should be completely open about wanting sex, and only that? if so, how would you expect to do it (if you are a male) / be told that (if you are a female)?

>(not 'seduced,' because that term is neckbeard-level cringey)
english is not my 1st lang, and I couldn't find a different term to use...

>Yes, it's definitely possible to be both. It means doing things like backing off when you're told no or otherwise rejected, and being interested in someone as a person, not just as a thing to fuck. It's not hard to not treat people like shit
- have most of the guys that were interested in you been pushy from the start?
- what would you think if I told you that most guys fake being interested in you as a person? not saying it's a fact... but most men around me tell me this should be my strategy: tto make generic questions in order to fake interest

>>18143111
not really
>>
>>18143132
>- have most of the guys that were interested in you been pushy from the start?
>- what would you think if I told you that most guys fake being interested in you as a person? not saying it's a fact... but most men around me tell me this should be my strategy: tto make generic questions in order to fake interest
*assuming you are a female...
>>
>>18143114
Yeah, but it is not a general virginity question. It has more to do with no social contact with males at all and virginity is just a symptom of it.

Also, I want to know how 30+ year old virgins are seen in the society, I'm personally not ashamed of it and mention that I am a virgin too when someone makes fun of another person who is a virgin.
>>
>>18143140
They probably make fun of you too. Although it's very.. noble? to stick up for all the old virgins out there lol I personally would not go near you. It screams issues
>>
>>18143154
Nobody has made fun of me that far. I don't really interact with teens so I don't know. I also mention it among my friends. But it is not aggressive, like look at me, I'm a virgin, sometimes it is like a joke of protecting my virginity.
>>
>>18143132
>do you think one should be completely open about wanting sex, and only that? if so, how would you expect to do it (if you are a male) / be told that (if you are a female)?
It depends on how you're interacting. If it's something like a club or Tinder, then it's basically implied. If it's something like an online dating website where the person can indicate what they want, then you have that indication. In situations where it's more grey, such as meeting through friends, then yes, you should be honest and upfront about it. All it takes is a simple "look, I'm not looking for something serious here. If that's okay with you, then we can go ahead and have fun. If it's not, we should probably cool things off so one of us doesn't get hurt"

>- have most of the guys that were interested in you been pushy from the start?
Not really, no.

>- what would you think if I told you that most guys fake being interested in you as a person? not saying it's a fact... but most men around me tell me this should be my strategy: tto make generic questions in order to fake interest
Well like I said, I don't do casual sex and if I did, I'd only do it if I was comfortable, so I wouldn't be too upset. That said, I would imagine it's pretty obvious when a guy is faking interest.
>>
>>18143092
> how do you feel when some guy seduces you for a while only to have sex with you, and then disappears?
Awful-it's only happened once, but it was horrible.
>ashamed, lonely, sad for yourself, cheated
Something like that. It wasn't even good sex.
>do you use guys for sex, too?
No, never. I like relationships, which I thought this guy wanted too.
> do women prefer respectful guys or horny guys?

A man can be respectful loving and horny. One can't be respectful and a fuckboy though.
is this even a dichotomy?
No. Being a jerk and using someone for sex is not the same as being horny.
and by that I mean, can guys show themselves as respectful AND horny?
Yes, but it's about wanting someone as something beyond a hole to fuck for a night.
if so, how could one do it?
See above.

Why do you want to know?
>>
This goes to both sexes

I like this girl at work, she's a cutie, and she's very cool with me and all. The thibk is she is friendly to pretty much everyone, she's a very outgoing person. The thing is, i'm falling for her, but I don't think she sees me the same. I don't want to ruin it or make it awkward by asking her our. What if she's just being friendly to me and i'm too autistic
>>
>>18143092
>>18143205
>Why do you want to know?
because I'm a horny fuck and have always been prone to love, but I have no clue how to treat women. in fact, I'm 28+, and have never had a gf... and I'm confused about wanting to have sex and being insecure about getting in a relationship. even worse, I'm scared, since I have no experience whatsoever, and don't want to be harmed.
I literally don't know if I should be completely sincere, a bit sincere, shut the fuck up about my feels/intentions, or just keep being a lonely, depressive fuck... I'm a really sad guy.

btw, I've had hot women throw themselves at me, and didn't do shit, simply because I'm retarded and very insecure.
>>
>>18143235
Well, don't use women for sex, unless you want to become a fuckboy.

If you want a girlfriend, you have to go in not thinking about sex, or at least not showing that that is all you're thinking about. Act like you want to get to know the girl, like you're interested in her. Once you actually start dating sex comes naturally.
>>
>>18143263
lmao
>>
>>18143287
What?
>>
>>18143290
Sounds stupid as fuck.
>>
>>18143154
For a female, how old is it okay to be a virgin before it screams "issues"?
>>
>>18143292
It's how women want you to think. Funnily enough, they don't really like only being thought of as useful for sex.
>>
>>18143297
Maybe 22 or 23 at most, otherwise I'd assume religious nut or issues.
>>
>>18143297
Female virgins are awesome.
>>
>>18143301
Yes they do.
>>
>>18143302
Is it that crazy for someone to be introverted and not actively pursuing a relationship?
>>
>>18143308
Not the good ones. The sluts maybe.
>>
>>18143297
It really depends on the person. Some people are like >>18143302, others are much more generous.

As someone who has had to put much of their social life on hold because of family reasons I don't really find it a red flag. Between college, work, and family I'd probably still be a virgin if it wasn't for the fact my ex took the initiative and I don't really think there's anything fundamentally wrong with me.
>>
>>18143315
>good ones
LOL
>>
>>18143315
Stop replying to him
>>
>>18143320
You must have a very sad life.

Oi >>18143315
Don't reply, clearly a very sad troll.
>>
>>18143074
I got approached by a woman who I think is out of my league a month ago.

We chatted on facebook and when I asked her to lunch i got no response. 5 days later i blocked her because I have had this treatment before and frankly if you can't respond in at least 2 days you are wasting my time.

She texted me and asked why I blocked her. She was very upset but I didnt feel I did anything wrong.
>>
>>18143338
Depends, did she give a valid reason to go MIA for 5 days? For instance my grandfather is in and out of hospice, so I sometimes take entire weeks off of social media.

If she didnt explain herself or give a decent reason, I probably wouldnt lose any sleep over it.
>>
>>18143310
Unless work or college is in the way, yes, it's weird and would give off red flags.
>>
>>18143348
Said she wasn't on facebook for a few days but there is a sidebar that shows she was on a couple times.

I shouldn't be thinking much of it, true. I guess the whole situation blindsided me and I can't figure it out.
>>
File: 1452538990619.jpg (67 KB, 856x960)
67 KB
67 KB JPG
Girls: A girl that's a purely platonic friend slowly faded out of my life but then recently I got invited to a party she's throwing. I figured it was one of those "select all" invites like I sometimes get on facebook but she's invited a only 15 people, including myself.

Should I try talking to her before then? I accepted the invite a few days ago but I don't know how to start of a conversation with her. Should I just say "Hey how have you been?" or does that sound a little too much like I'm mad she hasn't talked to me in 6 months?

I know I'm over thinking a lot here but I don't want to fuck up.
>>
>>18143354
What's weird about it? Relationships aren't the most important thing in life. What is the "red flag"?
>>
Ladies, how/when do you discuss or hint your views of sex during dating?

I met a girl at a party and we have a date in a couple days. She's really nice, share a mutual friend, very intelligent but got a abstain from sex till marriage vibe from her.

I feel like she'll never really tell me (im not expecting the first date to learn but get some hints maybe), unless I bring it up exactly. Im really interested in her but do not want to lead her on - especially since she's been talking to our mutual friend a lot recently.
>>
>>18143405

How about you just go on the date and talk to her and see where it goes. If you like each other and things steer towards intimacy it'll come up. If there's no chemistry, it won't.

Quit all this vibe interpreting, fortune telling bullshit you're doing and just go out on the date and talk. Who the fuck knows how she feels or what she thinks. You won't find out until you go.

You haven't even gone on your first date yet and you're thinking about how to pry sex out of her so, I'm going to say your chances aren't good unless you can suppress your autism long enough to appear like a semi-normal person to her who has some vague idea on how to naturally progress a conversation.
>>
>>18143405
Usually, after the 3rd date and before the 8th.
In general, I might mention it earlier if we discuss about our views on dating and it comes up naturally.
>>
>>18143210
She's just being friendly.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't try anything. But you'll have to make her interested in you.
>>
>>18143338
>i blocked her
A u t i s m
>>
>>18143387
Yeah you can just talk to her.
I'm sometimes invited to parties by friends i haven't seen in like a year, and it's just that they wanted to see me. Doesn't mean anything.
>>
>>18143410
Yeah and five dates later, she says he does not have sex and I awkwardly tell her then it's probably not going to work out.

I only asked because I have fallen into this scenario before. Talked and got a long very well, then a handful of dates later - she assumes I just knew and it turns to a very embarrassing moment for the both of us. I just dont want to waste both of our times. Glad you kept an open mind, too.

>>181434110
Okay, Thank you.
>>
>>18143422
Alright I guess I'll awkwardly try. It just seems like too much time has passed to have a normal conversation. Would things probably go back to normal or will this party probably be just a one off thing?
>>
>>18143074

Girls: how much do you like to be choked:

(1) Somewhat
(2) A lot
>>
>>18143479
(3) Neither
>>
File: 143396584303.jpg (112 KB, 568x786)
112 KB
112 KB JPG
Girls, in your experience, would you consider this picture accurate?
>>
>>18143492
Considering the fact that it's designed solely to make men feel better by using 'world average' as an actual point of reference, no, it's not accurate.
>>
>>18143492
Yes.
Legitimately in all my experiences, my friends' experiences and hearing women only very few women didn't find 5-5.5 inches laughably small, and I mean they would literally start laughing, anything in the 4 inch area they would simply walk out unless the guy was really hot and knew how to use his tongue and fingers, anything below THAT is fetish zone for women who are seriously into femdom.
>>
>>18143492
Between 5.5 and 6.5 is the world average though.
>>
>>18143495
The actual average according to google is 5.5 inches. I think this is a b8 image. Making men feel better is the opposite effect it's supposed to have.
>>
>>18143492
Well, no.
Dicks are around 5-5.5" on average.
Penetration isn't what gets most girls to come, so dick size is not so relevant in terms of satisfying girls - if you don't know what you're doing, a big dick might get the girl a painful experience.
I also don't think that extremely big dicks are attractive. I wouldn't fuck someone with a 9" dick.
>>
>>18143496
>anything in the 4 inch area they would simply walk out
jesus are women really this shitty? the irony in this is sickening
>>
>>18143500
Of course it's a bait image, how does saying shit like 'consider suicide' help anyone?
>>
File: 1394779526901.png (59 KB, 1000x1000)
59 KB
59 KB PNG
>>18143492
>>18143496
Hook, line and sinker.
>>
So i'm a shy awkward guy who just wants to make more friends and meet a girl. Funny thing is, i'm a lot less shy and awkward when with someone who's shy and awkward too, somehow it kicks something off in me i guess.

But anyway, i know there must be some of you out there on here, how do i meet those weird awkward weebish girls? I'm pretty sure tindr or dating sites are a lost cause and conventions far flung and infrequent.
>>
>>18143498
>>18143500
>5.5
>Average
No. There's no reason to be insecure about yourself. 5.5 is small, just say it and accept it. Anything below 6.5 is somewhat small in general, IMO. You aren't doomed if you're below 6.5, but don't lie to yourself and call it average.
>>
>>18143512
>statistics and various studies say its average
>anon on 4chins says it isnt
Gee I wonder who I'm going to believe.
>>
>>18143514
Whatever helps you sleep at night, kiddo
>>
>>18143512
Statistics say that 5.5 is the average. You can perceive it as small, but it still is average.
>>
>>18143507

I have a friend who's shy and awkward weebish girl and let me tell you, it's near impossible to befriend one. 97% of free time she spends at home and when she leaves she hangs put strictly with friends and finds new people uncomfortable to talk to. I've been trying to set her up with someone (anyone) for ages now, because she's the type of person who needs someone to look after her, but she keeps sabotaging any efforts. Essentially, make friends with people who know such girls, if you want to meet them. Break into their social circle first, become a regular face and then eventually you might get their stamp of approval.
>>
File: toasty.png (282 KB, 619x469)
282 KB
282 KB PNG
>>18143519
Proven studies against some anons opinion on here certainly helps.
>>
>>18143519
Small is a relative value, average is just what's statistically most common.

So being average and being small aren't mutually exclusive.
>>
>2017
>swallowing the "you have a small dick" bait

Hello newfags, how are you enjoying your stay here?
>>
>>18143521
Thanks for replying, i guess i always knew that they'd be hard to find.

So, looks like i'm going to have to step outside my comfort zone, my friends circle is pretty much couples and guys who've been single forever like me.
>>
hey anons
for a few weeks now my friends and I have been talking of going on a vacation somewhere for a few days, maybe a week
I've told my gf of two years about this so that she can plan our summer together with this knowledge and she said that I can't go, literally telling me that it's either her or the vacation, and if I go with my friends then that means they are more important for me than she is

what do I do in this situation? I haven't been on a holiday with my friends since the summer of 2015. I know that her reasoning behind this ultimatum is that we'll do nothing but party and fuck chicks, which enrages me as fuck, because it shows a level of distrust and disrespect which is totally undeserved and is only caused by her lack of self-confidence and various other complexes, and when I tell her this it's like I'm talking to a brick wall, and she keeps on repeating that if she doesn't feel the need to go on a trip with her friends then neither should I
>>
>>18143588
Your gf is a piece of shit cunt.

Anyway...

How often do you see your gf? Is there ever more than a week?

You should just tell her that youre going and you'll send her photos or whatever or call her. Depends on what youve used to. Dont you fucking stay because of her. She clearly is thankless of your relationship.
>>
>>18143612
we see each other 4 or 5 times a week (meaning that I sleep over at her place more often than I do at home)

and yeah, no way I'm going to let my friends down and skip this vacation, but I still don't want to jeopardize my relationship with my gf, although she seem dead-set of ending things with me if I don't comply with her request
>>
>>18143672
>pretending to be a woman online
Don't you have any better material than this? This trolling isn't even subtle, it's just laughable at this point
>>
>>18143588
you dump her
>>
Is asking a girl out by text really that bad when the only time you see her is with a big group of people?
>>
Is it normal for a guy to not be able to tell when he orgasms Shouldn't an orgasm be a distinct experience? How can a man increase their control and intensity of their orgasms?
>>
How many girls in college have never had sex realistically, including all the introverts? 10-20%?
>>
>>18143801
I think it's waaay lower than that m8.
>>
>>18143805
Why do you think that?
>>
>>18143809
Do you seriously think any college girl besides the really autistic ones are virgins?
>>
>>18143797
so you don't ejaculate?
>>
>>18143816
Yes I do, some don't want a relationship or just haven't found someone they like.
>>
>>18143816
not him, but yes. Quite a couple of them in fact. I personally know one who gave up virginity being 27 y.o.
She's not mentally ill in the slightiest

And there are many, many more
>>
>>18143797
Think of it like waves on a shore that arrive in random 'amplitudes'. The waves get higher and it gets more intense, at one point it will reach over the reeling and that's the point where the guy cums.
Sometimes the increase is steady and sometimes you can't really anticipate how big the next wave of emotions will be.
Although it's not that predictable sometimes it would be wrong to say that a guy won't be able to tell when he orgasms.
I found that usually before you even get close to the point you should slow down a bit or even stop for a little while, distracting things like the girl scratching me while sex seemed to work too and i delayed that orgasm, the most succesful sex for us was always the one i did not see coming because she initiated and my mind needed to realize what's happening while i coupdn't focus on an orgasm.
Not sure how you can increase the intensity but when you are kept on edge and then your dick gets pleased well and fast at that point that's pretty much the most intense eye rolling orgasm material i can think of.

>>18143801
Keep an eye out for girls with purity rings and make them inpure.
>>
>>18143074
Guy here. Do most women shave their pubes?
>>
>>18143849
Not a girl but from what I hear they all either shave or remove it entirely.
>>
>>18143816
I know a uni student who's a virgin, she's a really pretty med student
But she's shy as fuck, she doesn't drink so she has no way to really meet people and she's busy enough with uni that her dead lovelife is always the first thing to be pushed to the side
It's even possible that she's never even been kissed but I don't want to ask her
>>
>>18143869
>Pretty
>virgin
>shy
>doesn't drink
Making me pretty jealous anon.
>>
>>18143876
I know a girl like that too, too bad she is a fucking asexual.
>>
>>18143878
Would she still cuddle? I'd still be fine with it.
>>
>>18143881
No she really doesn't even like being touched, pretty sure she is at least mildly autistic, uses logic for literally everything, and doesn't show much emotion.
>>
>>18143876
She wouldn't want you anon, she hates r9k types as much as she hates overzealous sjws
>>
>>18143876
That's the type of girl that once she starts getting older she'll want to make up for the "lost time" and will fuck any man they give them attention at a certain point.
>>
>>18143884
I'm not too different, I just have an emotional side I hide.
>>18143885
You don't know my "type" anon.
>>
>>18143889
Like you feel everything deeply but don't show it to the world?
>>
>>18143891
I usually don't like showing emotion. Like if I find something funny I try not to giggle.
>>
>>18143894
I guess I never understood why people don't like showing emotion. I'm very open about it all generally. I've lost my spaghetti many times.
>>
>>18143895
I wish I wasn't afraid to show emotion, I'd have a much easier time in life.
>>
>>18143074
What percent of women shave their genitals?
>>
>>18143903
Someone must asked that.
>>
>>18143903
Why would anyone, boy or girl, just happen to know that statistic? You do realize these things change depending on age, race and area/social scene right?

You can't even ask a question right kys
>>
>>18143909
Just*
>>
>>18143903
watch a million voyeur vids, you'll know
>>
>>18143074
Do most women have innie or outie vulva?
>>
Girls:

How would you feel if a guy had to call off a date where sex was 100% guaranteed because he had a fungus on his dick?

To my knowledge it's fairly common that girls get candidiasis, for instance, due to the vaginal flora being more vulnerable, for no sex related reasons. But guys seem to get these shit as DST's, which was not my case.

I want to know if she'd be ok with it, or think that I got it from unprotected sex with someone else.
>>
>>18143988
Can't you go on the date and not have sex, or come up with an excuse?

And, yes, I'd think you got it from having unprotected sex if you told me you had a STD.
>>
>>18144009
Thing is she lives in another city. And she's eager to have sex. So it'll be kinda hard to drive the miles to see her to get there and say "ops we can't fuck". I'm afraid she'll get disappointed.

And the chance that she thinks I got it from sex is prety high since I did try to fuck her without a condom once. So I can't even blame her if she thinks that. I kinda hoped she'd understand because by our age (28~30) I guess pretty much every girl had it once or twice from other sources, but I can see why this could be a long shot.
>>
>>18143983
Outie. I've read the estimate of one in four (being an innie) a couple of times.
>>
>>18144030
Then find an excuse.
"Hey, I cannot come over this weekend. My friend Johnny needs to move and I have to help him with it. Can we reschedule in X weeks? I am really sorry."

Don't fucking tell her you have fungus on your cock.
>>
hes gonna fuck his girl with a fungus cock?
>>
>>18144063
I did this already last week :/

I won't tell her, I usually try to be 100% honest but I do realize it won't be the best option now.

Any ideas to still go and not have sex? I really don't want to call it off, she'll be very disappointed too...
>>
oh man thats fucked
>>
Threadly reminder to name your son Chad Thundercock and NOT name your daughter Stacey Thundercunt.
>>
File: IMG_8477.jpg (33 KB, 300x318)
33 KB
33 KB JPG
The fuck do girls mean when they say you're handsome
>>
>>18144132
That you look good. How is this such a mystery to you?
>>
>>18144220
I'm v autistic and I get called cute and handsome. Never hot. I don't understand the difference
>>
>>18144132
That you're attractive, come on, I'm autismo and even I get that
>>
Girls, could you stop getting kidnapped by the bad guys?
>>
>>18144132
Family doesn't count.

>>18144253
No, because the bad guys are assertive and confident. And they are better lays.
>>
>>18144294
They're also typically drug abusing deadbeats.
>>
>>18144308
You are just being bitter and resentful, no wonder you are alone.
>>
>>18144312
I have a gf thx.
>>
>>18144253
Kidnapped? So you're saying the girls have no choice or power to choose? Who's the biggest 'misogynist' here?
>>
What do you people think of this?
>>
>>18144335
interesting points.
>>
File: 1465858056724.jpg (41 KB, 543x549)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
>>18144242
>>18144294
It's a friend of mine who has also called me cute before. She rejected my advances a week ago. A mutual acquaintance of ours always tells her im beautiful. so im confused
>>
>>18144365
I feel that one of the reasons for the modern dysfunctions of our socieites, is the strange idea that we are somehow beyond our natural instincts.
That picture brings forth the utterly unnatural state of modern relationships from the perspective of our evolutionary history, quite well.
Contraception allows behavior that would never have been possible for our ancestors, and such behaviors can quite well be damaging to us on the long term.
>>
Here's a bunch of shit to throw at whoever wants to answer:

1. Girls mainly, but male experience appreciated. I went on my first ever date the other day. She gave me a lift home and we exchanged numbers. Obviously because she was driving a hug was out of the question and a kiss didn't seem right. Should I go for it next time? We met on Tinder and so our intentions should be pretty clear that we're after a relationship and not friendship, but because I've never had a gf I don't want to blow it by seeming disinterested, but I don't want to blow it by being too forward. How would you proceed? For what it's worth, we're both 30.

2. What exactly do people talk about in relationships? When you first meet you know a bit about each other. You discuss work, hobbies, favourite films/bands/shows etc. But after you know each other in that sense and you've had a few dates what exactly do you talk about? Surely people don't just talk about their day and gossip do they? What do you do to keep conversations interesting? I get that further in a relationship you'd probably be doing something that wasn't all about you like a museum so you'd talk about what you are looking at, but surely that can't last.

3. Am I right in thinking that playing waiting games is for teenagers and people in their early twenties? By that I mean the "rule" of waiting three days to text a girl after a first date and things like that. The date was on Friday. We spoke on Saturday, not yesterday (we were both busy) but since I'd like to see her again I'm assuming I should just ask, right? There are no rules for taking turns once you hit a certain age, I assume. Basically, it should just be a case of "If you want to talk, do it, if she wants to, she will".

4. Finally, and similarly, texting is something I hate doing often. Is it ridiculous that I don't want to text lengthy conversations and would rather text the odd interesting thing, but mainly just organise something so we can talk in person?

Thanks.
>>
>>18144518
>Should I go for it next time?
Yes, why not? If things are going good, go for it.

>What exactly do people talk about in relationships?
Anything you want.
Me and my boyfriend talk a lot about our interests (both those we share and those we don't share), we talk about our day, we discuss about ourselves, we just joke around, we talk about our memories... we've been together for 7 years and we talk, like, 8 hours a day through text and all night.

>Am I right in thinking that playing waiting games is for teenagers and people in their early twenties? By
They're pretty dumb at any age. Be open about what you want and you're more likely to get it.

>Is it ridiculous that I don't want to text lengthy conversations and would rather text the odd interesting thing, but mainly just organise something so we can talk in person?
No, but reply and make sure she knows you want to meet up with her and talk to her.
>>
(guy here). A friend of mine randomly told me how her super best friend (guy) once asked her out and how awkward it was for her to refuse him.
We're somewhat close friends and I'm the only one she told this. She just got out of her latest relationship and I'm single as well and looking for a relationship.

Did she just subtly tell me to never ask her out because it would creep her out? I don't have any feelings for her and she's absolutely not my type, so I won't anyway. But damn I feel like I look like some desperate beta orbiter to her.
>>
>>18144548
You were right on the money, anon kun.
>>
>>18144538
Thank you.

1. I guess my issue was that we were obviously in close proximity but it somehow didn't seem like the right time. Maybe just a little too early. We both obviously liked each other, but I guess I should try and escalate things next time.

2. We have similar interests and are both pretty knowledgeable and open-minded so it's probably not as hard as I'm thinking it might be.

3. That's what I thought.

4. I won't ignore her, but sometimes my male friends will send shit like "What do you think about x?" And I'll think "Isn't this kind of thing what we should talk about in person?" It just seems so detached and impersonal. I might let her know next time that I don't reply with much to be rude, but because I dislike that form of communication. I'm not averse to it, it's just not my preference.

I think all of this boils down to me just overthinking everything I can. Analysis paralysis. I am too afraid to kiss her because she might not want to, which gives off the impression that I'm not interested, so she moves on. Fuck.
>>
>>18143292
Lol yeah dude clearly doesnt know what the shit hes talking about.
>>
>>18143263
This advice came from sombody who thinks he knows what hes talking about. But he doesnt! He probably knows deep down hes not really qualified to give advice of the subject in the first place.
>>
File: Av3T89KOUD8.jpg (226 KB, 750x716)
226 KB
226 KB JPG
I had a crush on my university mate. We chatted in class a lot, she was flirty, wrote me love letters, in the same time she always jest on me, aggressive jokes, helped me with presentations, so on, so forth. However, when I asked her out, she politely rejected me saying she's busy, yet at that time I hadn't stated it was a date. There was one more time I asked her out with the same result. I eventually stopped to speak to her since, moved on, so to speak, started to act professional, mostly, helping with studying if needed, nothing more. She just wrote me I act very strange around her, before I was pretty chatty and outgoing, always chit-chat if there was a possibility, and now we don't even speak and greet each other, I am not as engaged and enthusiastic, and "Why?".
She still was really flirtatious with me after I asked her out, though, I supposed she really liked my attention.

What do I answer? I would not ever say I have feelings for her, I think it's a bad idea.
>>
When a girl cuddles with you all the time and lets you stroke and touch her, does that mean she is into you? She always seems very giddy around me. However, when I tried to make a kiss I got a hug instead.

Did I get friend zoned? And is a week too short of a time to be able to tell?
>>
How do I friendzone girls? A lot of girls message me and want to tie me down to something serious but I just want to have fun. Responding to everyone is kind of exhausting but I feel like straight up ignoring them would be rude. The shittier side of me wants to keep them pining after me for validation.
>>
>>18144741
How did you go for the kiss? Just lunge in there out of the blue? I hope not. It's more of a shock reflex if that's what you did. Stare at her. Stare at her mouth. Make it clear what you want to do. Move in slowly. Make it last.
>>
>>18144749
>How did you go for the kiss?
Well we parted ways at the airport, she was looking at me smiling, clearly awaiting a move on my part. And so I did, I just leaned in a bit to her but she just immediately hugged me very tight.

What does it mean?
>>
>>18144760
Weird. I don't know what to say to that. Maybe try again next time, but with more of a build-up. If she still turns away then leave it for good. But if she's giving you signals maybe give it one more shot.
>>
File: IMG_9829.png (5 KB, 225x225)
5 KB
5 KB PNG
Girls and guys

I'm 27 and I've never had a girlfriend before (because of my own reasons). Girls have been something I've kept out of my mind for the past few years. But all of a sudden the past few days I've had this strong desire for a girlfriend. It's very random. Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do to keep this feeling away?

I'm not in the position to have a girlfriend right now. Also, I don't want to start fapping more, I honestly believe fapping isn't healthy.
>>
>>18144760
It means you should try again if you still care, Get the same result second time? move on.
>>
>>18144782
Ok thank you.

So in theory it is possible that a girl is very touchy with you yet she considers you just a friend then right? Im actually autistic so this is all very confusing to me.
>>
File: battisti.jpg (10 KB, 480x360)
10 KB
10 KB JPG
"Once a cheater always a cheater"

I guess it's right. But imagine the girl in question meets a guy, knows him and is extremely attracted by him. She has a boyfriend, but she likes the guy she knew more. She doesn't want to cheat though: she breaks up with him and just THEN she hits on the dude. Is it the same as cheating or nah?
>>
>>18144863

I met a new female friend one time and when we were walking together she hooked her arm through mine and walked right up against me. On the train she did the same thing. Practically hugging me. After we went to part ways, I gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. She gave me a huge smile and kissed me on my cheek, playfully pushed me away, gave me a really shy wave and smile, and then actually skipped away to her train. It was the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

We texted later that night and she told me how happy she was we became friends. I asked her if she'd like to date and she said "oh wow, well.. I thought we were just friends, anon :), i want to keep my distance from relationships and men for a while"
>>
>>18144722
help
>>
>>18143074
How pushy should a guy be with sex? It seems you push too hard and you could upset a woman, but not hard enough and you'll never get anywhere. For example, my soon-to-be-ex wife just cheated on me a few months ago, after almost a whole relationship of me having to (respectfully, no force) initiate and her not even wanting so much a hot makeout session from her in 3 years. Meanwhile, she goes out with this one similarly attractive friend of ours for dinner one night, and in the span of 6 hours they catch dinner, netflix, then he fucks her, then the next day gets he not only fucks her he slides it in her ass, which even without prompting I new she'd NEVER do. But he went for it, and she didn't mind. I've even heard her mention things like "how guys will just push your head down on them instead of asking about a blowjob". Meanwhile, I felt hopeless trying for even just vanilla sex. She never stopped seeing the guy, either.

>tl;dr After a friends success at fucking my ex-wife in the ass by just going for it on the second "date", and countless other times where men just wordlessly went for a BJ, I'm a bit confused and scared of how much physicality i should put behind an advance. I'd like to have my sexual needs met, but the shit that works for other men seems like sexual assault to me. How common is this shit, and how do women honestly feel about it?
>>
>>18144897
Oh damn that is rough. How long did she lead you on for?
>>
>>18144914

We had known each other for a month. But that was the first time that had happened to me.

That day really fucked my self esteem. I was so happy before no girl has every treated and looked at me so sweetly. EVER. First time getting an extended kiss on my cheek from a girl. Just to find out I'm a fucking friend?

My self esteem when from high to shit in 6 hours
>>
>>18144878
I'd only call it cheating if you were both still in the relationship and they were banging.
>>
>>18144956
Yeah i know it isn't really cheating, but isn't it pretty much the same thing in the end? Maybe you're more polite by not straight up fucking the dude you knew, but you're still rejecting what you've build with your significant other for another guy.
>>
>>18144925
Thats just cruel. How did you handle it ? Did you ever talk to her again?
>>
>>18144897
100% BS, if Chad hits on her she will jump onto his lap without hesitation.
>>
>>18144968
Rejection or growing emotionally distant I think are better terms in this situation.
>>
>>18143404
Only group thinking Americans who need to lose their virginity by the age of 13 and have a school like on TV where everyone tries to be popular find it a red flag. In real life, many girls and boys are not even interested in sex when they are teens, a lot of them develop later, a lot of them are not attracted to the schoolmates they know from childhood and if it is a small place, they don't meet any members of the opposite sex outside school. A lot of teens are disgusted by one night stands, gossiping, teen mindset, the popularity contest where everyone tries to outfuck everyone else or just have other more important things to do. Some don't even have friends in a school where everyone wants to get drunk and fucked. A lot of young people find the relationship dynamics of other young people absolutely disgusting and the way teens hit on each other stupid and boring.

So, the university is the first time in many people's lives where they can start thinking about socializing that way. But even then, the school comes first and some people are not physically ready, don't see sexual situations yet and are not really interested. Some are studying only with their gender or don't find teen guys (and early 20s is late teens) sexy or interesting. If you don't have sex for popularity or norms, you are very likely to be a virgin in the mid 20s if you just don't have a big social circle, don't really meet anyone from the opposite gender and are introverted.
>>
>>18144974
Maybe, but if what caused the thing is just another guy, isn't that a kinda egoist and manipulative thing to do?

I'm not saying this because of something that happened to me btw, i'm a kissless virgin. Just curiosity.
>>
>>18144906
Not femanon. Your exWIFE was just a cunt. I find it rarely goes too far so long as you have compatible sexuality. Don't ask too often, just do it. And don't be too affected by rejection.
>>
>>18144970

We kept talking

>>18144972

That literally happened 2 mo the later... ;__;

Shit put me into bad depression
>>
>>18143453
Change your mindset bro, I know you wanna fuck but it's not a waste of time going out with a chick and have a good time even though you are not having sex. Sex just happens, you're a guy and she's a girl. If you have a good vibe trust me you'll fuck.
>>
>>18144982

Not a girl, but "the other" isn't the cause, for one - - the girl's emerging tastes and/or flighty nature is. And it's a bit selfish, maybe, but not manipulative if she lays it out in flat terms, and EVERYONE is at least a little selfish. I'd go so far as to say she's not doing anything wrong if she just tells the first guy "I'm not into you anymore, I'm sorry" and left him.

I'm the dude with the post about some my wife fucking some guy. She never gave any indication of liking someone else, and never even brought up any feelings of unrest, she just went out and did it and kept our marriage on track until a friend threatened to tell me first if she didn't. Playing two sides is manipulative and scummy. If she sat me down and talked about how she wanted to divorce I'd've been crushed but I would've respected her reasoning no matter what it was.
>>
>>18145014
Hmmmm, i get it. Thank you!
>>
>>18144993
Ok, so if I want to do something, just go for it, move on if it doesn't work? Thanks

Would still like a femanon's input though
>>
>>18145001
Here is a pro-tip: girls HATE to be treated all cutesy and romantic like that, they want a strong man that does what he wants and dominate them.
>>
>>18145025

I can't talk to girls anymore after that. I opened myself up to someone who I trusted and got crushed.
>>
>>18145028
>I can't talk to girls anymore after that
You just said you kept talking with her?
>>
>>18145025
Are you a femanon? It'd be nice to have one weigh in on that point. My last LTR was my favorite because of how fun and lovey dovey we were, but I'm beginning to think we barely had sex because I was more like a cuddly comedian to her than a badass.
>>
>>18145043
No, girls rarely will admit so.
>>
>>18144905
You stopped being friendly to her, and she noticed of course.

Just tell her you're pissed she keeps turning you down when you invite her out.
>>
>>18144518
1. Yeah a kiss next time seems reasonable
2. Well, topics come up as they do... It's about chemistry I guess, just like you have friends you can always talk to about some shit.
3. Correct, and if people try to play games they're usually not worth the time
4. I'm genuinely glad there's people like you. I'm like that too, I hate texting and pretty much only use it to avoid boredom at work or to organize RL stuff.
>>
File: large.png (188 KB, 500x352)
188 KB
188 KB PNG
Question for men:

Do men (mid 20s not teenagers) still easily get erections from being close to girls they're not even attracted to? Or does it depend on the man if he has high standards?
>>
>>18145088
Thanks.

I'll see if I can get in a situation where the opportunity presents itself. It's all quite scary.

We are both quite quiet, but when we talk about things we like we were both very animated and interested in each other. Comfortable silences were frequent, but never awkward.

Agreed. I don't think she's like that, but I'll text her tomorrow and ask her, unless she gets there first.

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. Maybe if I nearly died or needed to let somebody know something important I'd do it, but otherwise it's just a way of arranging to meet.

My last message from my best friend was this:

Alright?
Not bad.
Pub?
Yeah.
7?
I'll be there.

And that was it. Amazing.
>>
>>18145109
Personally I use it as a gauge for whether I'm attracted to them or not. There's a fat girl at work who I didn't think I was into. She got really close one day and whispered in my ear and I couldn't stand up for a bit. Apparently I AM into her.

But it does become less frequent as you get older. Maybe a semi from time to time, but not a full lob-on.
>>
>>18145109
Im 28 and I still feel as though I get erections as frequently or consistently to when I was 15. I'm guessing standards might come into play but frequency and my standards haven't really changed much in the last 13 years. I could get one randomly relaxing or something, I could get one looking at a hot chick. I can't get one looking at someone ugly/the same gender as me.
>>
>>18145118
Sounds pretty good, if you can keep up a conversation naturally and not find the inevitable silences awkward that's a good sign imo. Good luck.
Heh, that's even less than me and my best friend, we mostly use two-word messages, but as long as it works, right?
>>
>>18145109
I wrote this roughly a week ago for a similar question so here's some delicious copypasta:

A dick is like a slave on a man's body that lives an awful life, but is on good terms with the owner. It spends the majority of its time on a cramped, hot, humid, and dark place. Taken out only to use the restroom, to be cleaned, to be beaten, or to be thrust into another cramped, hot, humidity, slippery dark place until it vomits. As a slave it has a mind of its own and occasionally will stand up and try to look around. The owner has no control over this, but does have control over whether or not to put it to work since it's already up. This happens whether the owner is awake or not, and is completely involuntary. Sometimes it wants to look around at inopportune times, such as just before giving a major business presentation or just prior to hugging Grandma. Other times the owner sees something and the owner's interest alerts the slave to get up. But a variety of reasons such as age or nerves can cause the slave to refuse to stand even when the owner is very interested in what he sees. There's no rhyme or reason to the slave's actions as only the slave knows why it does what it does.
>>
>>18145208
>mfw a fellow penis psychologist
>>
>>18145109
Sometimes erections just happen. They're not always indicative of attraction.

That being said, it depends on the guy. Some get aroused easier than others. Five times out of ten it's to be expected if the girl is even breathing.
>>
>>18145030

As a platonic friend.

I can't get attached anymore, or like them past friendship
>>
I asked a girl I've had my eye on for years out for a date and she said yes. At first I was excited, but then that excitement turned into anxiety. I realized that this girl has lots of guys flirting with her and she's very sexually open, made me super panicked that I might have a super small window to win this girl over before she moves on to someone else. I was talking to my friend about it and she pointed out that I'm not mentally well and these mental issues have caused me to be really shitty in relationships and I should just avoid them until I'm better, and while I'm inclined to agree I'm clinging onto the fact I may very well have a small window with this girl and there's a real chance I'll may never have another opportunity with this girl unless I take this one

How do I deal with this situation. The anxiety that comes from thinking about her is just to much to deal with sometimes
>>
>>18145342
From the sound of it, even if you'd get with her you'd screw it up pretty fast so yeah, get your issues sorted out first.
>>
>>18145386
Just the fact that this could very well be my only shot with her, and I'm just throwing it away won't stop messing with my head. How can I deal with that?
>>
>>18145406
You know what, take the shot and see what happens. If it indeed all goes to hell you'll have learned yourself that you stand in your own way, and in the case it actually works out well good job and godspeed to you.
Sometimes it's better to make mistakes. It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all and that stuff
>>
Just had a huge fight with a girl who I like, we've been best friends for over a year now. She's now in this state of 'given up' on the friendship, but she hasn't deleted me and still talks to me. It's been more so me contacting her first but she replies back. Though whenever I bring up us talking about our argument and patching things up, she either says 'there's nothing to fix' or 'that everything is fine'. She's stated before in the past few days she doesn't care anymore but yet shows clear signs that she does. What the fuck am I supposed to do here? Is this one of those times where I fuck off for a few days to give her space? Instead of being in her face trying to fix shit, because it seems to be making things worse. It just feels like she's fucking with me.
>>
>>18143074
Where do I go to meet new people?
>>
>>18145413
I guess I just need to learn how to stop letting the "what-ifs" plague my mind.

I guess I just got so excited about this is got to the point where the idea of it not working out was legitimately devastating.
>>
>>18145431
Heaven/Hell
>>
What's the best time to text a girl after getting her number and are there any good openers you guys have?

As you can imagine, I don't get to the number stage pretty often.
>>
>>18145419
If she says things are fine, then let that be on her. Continue as if nothing is wrong.
>>
>>18145438
I can only do one of those take a guess which
>>
>you have a boyfriend
>there's a guy crushing on you and you know it
>you seek his attention out anyway despite him trying to distance himself from you

Why?
>>
My girlfriend has come out of an abusive relationship with her ex. Only found out about this recently (and to the extent of the abuse she suffered, including sexual violence) but I'd like to think I'm a caring partner giving her plenty of support but I'd still like some advice.

QUESTION (for ladies and gents) : what's the best way to offer support as she tells me these things? What's the best way to help her heal through this?
Thanks in advance.
>>
>>18145518
Listen to her when she talks about it. Its a big deal to open up to someone. And promise you aren't like that and would never hurt her. Be prepared. It might take awhile to fully get over things and might even cause a fight in your relationship because she only knows unhealthy relationship habits. Encourage her to speak up for herself when she is uncomfortable or angry at something and have patience. My fiance did it for me and there is a great love waiting once the bullshit insecurities phase out of her
>>
>>18145542
Thank you, I'm pretty much doing what any 'normal' person would do in this situation which, thankfully, is exactly what you said.
I'm the first person she's opened up to and I've only been seeing her a month.
I just don't want to fuck this up. Considering my job revolves around this sort of thing (Police Constable) I thought I'd be able to get into auto pilot but it's not the same. Not when it's someone you care deeply about.
>>
For women

Today a pretty good friend of mine and I were talking in class, and she was a wearing a very low cut shirt which she normally never does.
When I was talking to her I looked pretty clearly at her boobs and she definitely noticed. She didn't say anything and carried on the conversation as normal but pulled up her a shirt a bit.
Based on that reaction it seems pretty clear she didn't really care that much, but it made me wonder - How do you feel when you catch a guy clearly looking down your shirt? What if that guy's a good platonic friend? How would you react in this situation?
I feel like bringing it up again would be weird and awkward, but should I apologize? Is it a big deal?
>>
Male hiring managers of /adv/: have you ever chosen to hire or not hire a woman because of her looks?
>>
Is it normal for girls to act very affectionate with their guy friend(s)? Or did I get cucked?
>>
>>18145664
Cucked.
>>
>>18145664
How affectionate? What's the context? How long have they known each other and in what capacity?
>>
>>18145043
I am a femanon and can confirm
I like when my boyfriend is cuddly and funny with me, it makes me happy and comfortable.

But what turns me on is when he gets aggressive. We had an argument recently and I was more sexually into him in that moment, even feeling hurt, than I was when we were making silly wordplay jokes together.

You cant be one of the other all the time though and obviously you should be aggressive not in the arguing kind of way, I was just showing how even in a situation youd think would be an exception it wasnt - aggressiveness in guys is hot.
>>
>>18143479
a lot but only if you know what youre doing
>>
girl here
how do people go about "gettin weird with it"
by that i mean how do i ask him to tie me down and do other weird shit
>>
>>18145673
FUCK
>>18145675
Standing/walking close to each other, hugging, spending the whole night hanging out with pretty much just each other.
They've been friends since childhood.
I was interested in her and I thought she was into me too but now I just don't know.
Give it to me straight, doc...
>>
>>18145696
>Standing/walking close to each other, hugging, spending the whole night hanging out with pretty much just each other.
That's pretty intimate
>They've been friends since childhood.
How young? This could mean nothing or it could mean they're much less likely to be sexually attracted to each other
>>
>>18145696
U, HAVE A CHANCE. GO.
BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES. THE ATTRACTION IS ALREADY THERE. FINISH THIS
>>
>>18145711
Since they were in grade school, not sure what age exactly. I think <10. They're early 20's now.
Anyway, throughout all that bullshit she was giving me clear signs that she was interested in me but would then go back to hanging out with him. And I straight up asked her at one point if she and that guy were into one another and she said "ew no, he's just a good friend". But then she goes back to him.
I was so fucking confused I just ended up ignoring them the rest of the night, or tried to anyway.
>>
>>18145718
fuuuck, I'm overthinking it all and I'm basically paralyzed. I mean, all I have to do is send her a message, but it's been a couple of days and I just can't do it. God, I'm pathetic.
>>
>>18145735
BOI U BETTER SEND THAT MESSAGE THEN OR ELSE U AINT GETTING LAID
>>
File: 1487807950537.png (99 KB, 247x252)
99 KB
99 KB PNG
>>18145742
b-but, the nagging doubt in my mind... what if she doesn't actually like me

I think it's also important to note that she did spend the night at my house a couple of weeks ago. But nothing happened other than making out because of other reasons not related to the current situation.
But if you genuinely believe that I have a chance and I should message her, then I guess I have no choice but to do just that.
>>
Girls and guys

I get so frustrated every time someone tells me "you can meet girls everywhere". Girls on here say "don't hit on me at the gym or if I'm shopping for groceries because I'm focused on something". That automatically excludes half of my time (not to mention I've only seen 1 female at the gym and she's older and likely married. At the grocery store I've only ever seen mothers with their kids). The other half I'm at work where there is no girls.

So what does this "you can meet girls everywhere" even mean?
>>
>>18145777
That only applies to Chads.
>>
>>18145747
if u dont go for it, u dont get laid. if she doesnt want to, u dont get laid. theres no risk in trying. and if u do, thank me later. u obviously have an upper hand here so i do believe that u might just get this one.
>>
>>18145795
ok, anon
I hope you're right
>>
>>18145777
of course not in those places. u go to the gym to lift, not hit on bitches. grocery store is also a horrible place. a good scenario would be for example is at a bar. a social setting, or if ur outside feel free to get a girls number. opportunities are everywhere if u look in the right places
>>
>>18145805

This is what pisses me off.

People say "everywhere" but that quickly turns into "bars and clubs". Every fucking time.
>>
>>18145777
and if it excludes half of your time, then you need to make time to give yourself the best opportunity to meet women. Do what you have to do
>>
>>18145820

Tell me where?
>>
>>18145815
doesnt have to be. thats just the first thing that comes to my mind. Where do you see women most? Go there
>>
File: 1489714337800.jpg (42 KB, 640x960)
42 KB
42 KB JPG
general question:
Is $160 too much for a good ol' BJ?
>>
>>18145824

>where do you see women the most?

I literally don't.

I literally have only ever seen 1 at the gym, and she's older.

I don't see girls my age at the stores they always have kids with them.

I don't see them when I go to study because I'm in a vocational school and girls don't go there

I don't see them at work
>>
>>18145777
Talk to girls while theyre at the gym, just not with earbuds in
Talk to girls at the grocery store just not while theyre on their phone/talking to the cashier

Also NUMBER ONE RULE

DONT LISTEN TO FEMALES FOR ADVICE ON FEMALES

You specifically want the advice of men in successful relationships
>>
>>18145826
Yes
>>
>>18143074
>>18143074

how do i give my bf space? it seems super obvious, but somehow it evades me, i am very scared i will lose him forever if i keep acting clingy but I just don't know HOW to stop
>>
>>18145839

Well, unfortunately neither of those options for for me anyways. As I said I've been going to this gym for a year and only ever seen 1 girl.

At the grocery stores, I've only seen mothers with their kids
>>
>>18145846
>tfw no clingy gf
>>
>>18145846

spend more time with your friends
>>
>>18145832
if u rarely see women throughout ur average day where youre from, then try going somewhere new
>>
Theres literally no excuse for not being able to meet women
>>
>>18145840
Even from good looking women in a controlled and safe environment?
>>
>>18145856

I really don't know where

>>18145860

Oh? How's that.

I live in a very expensive area where most people my age can't afford to live. The average age group here is 40-55. Not only that, but everything around me is family suburbs

The only place I could find younger people is if I went to bars. Which I've been there, and I fucking hate bars.
>>
File: 1480912997306.jpg (78 KB, 340x314)
78 KB
78 KB JPG
>>18145865
>being rich
>>
>>18145868

What
>>
>Have huge crush on girl
>she has bf
>breaks up with him like two months ago
>we grow pretty close
>she comes over one night, we make out, confess feelings for each other
>two days later she says she isn't ready for something serious
>nothing really changes, we still talk and see each other a lot
>people ask if we're dating and she gets red, smiley, and embarrassed
>still have that flirty dynamic
>random person at a party comes up and asks if we're dating, says it's obvious there's something there
I just don't get it, it's so fucking confusing, I feel like she's just playing me like a fiddle. I'm pretty much in love with this girl and I can't tell if she cares about me or if she doesn't
>>
>>18145664
I wouldn't say "normal" for adults. For grossly immature teens yes. I know, as a married woman, I would never act in that way towards male friends. It's simply inappropriate.

Question:
Men- Do you like exchanging gifts with your SO's on holidays, birthdays, etc. ?Or do you not exchange gifts
>>
>>18145061
I got outraged as I wrote her "let's hang out" and received the answer two days after saying "Sorry, I haven't seen the message". It might be reasonable since it's not an instant-messaging platform, yet I don't believe it.

Saying that I am confused is to say nothing.
>>
How do I learn to be ok being alone? It's not like I don't have a social life--I talk to my co-workers all the time, I have friends who I see semi-regularly, I participate in social hobbies. But I feel like most of my relationships are very shallow. My last meaningful connection was with my ex and we don't talk anymore. Days where I don't have any activities planned I just end up feeling really anxious and lonely. I just want these feels to stop.
>>
>>18145882
I'm a girl who's just two months out of a relationship and I can't imagine dating someone seriously right now. She probably likes you but doesn't want you to just be a rebound. Give her time
>>
Girls, how would you react if a guy significantly better looking than you wanted to date?
>>
>>18145882
How much time since the break up?
Being single has its perks anon, and she may not be ready to let her freedom go away just yet.
Give her some more time
>>
>>18145882
Similar situation.

>Pretty okay friends with a guy, just part of the same group.
>Have a huge crush on him; Fairly certain it's mutual going by his staring and 'slightly too long' hugs.
>Have shitty/manipulative boyfriend for ages.
>Break up with him three months ago.
>Spontaneously bang friend after not seeing him for ages.
>(I offer no explanation. Just happened. I legitimately have never done anything like it before.)
>Now we're suddenly talking 24/7 and getting flirty/close.

W-wanna vent to eachother?
>>
I feel like I'm not good enough for my partner and it's making me distant and fall out of love. How can I fix this?
>>
>>18145885

I like giving gifts, but hate receiving them
>>
>>18145889
>>18145897
About 2 months, maybe a little longer. But still, she went and said all that shit to me and got my hopes up then crushed my hopes
And then I saw her texting some guy she talked with on twitter
>>18145904
Sounds like its going well for you though no? I mean if you're enjoying talking to him then why not?
>>
>>18145915
I don't know how it's going, desu. He's a bit of a slut and as far as I know is still texting any number of chicks.

It's a weird kind of limbo.
>>
>>18145864
No thats a good price then
>>
>>18145907
I started my relationship thinking this way and have greatly improved myself
Now the opposite is my problem, I feel Im being held back
>>
>>18145937
I don't feel like I need to improve or that I'm not good enough by my own standards, but, I just feel like I will never be able to satisfy or make them happy no matter how much I change.
>>
If a girl doesn't know I exist and we have no mutual friends, would she find it creepy if I just went up to her and tried to start a conversation?
>>
When a man does something like pick you up and carries you does that hint he likes you sexually or even romantically? or is this still in friend zone tier?

Granted this only happens when he is drunk.
>>
>>18146057

kiss him next time he does it
>>
>>18145894
Hell yes, then again the man I find most attractive rates lower in other girls eyes, it's all based on tastes when it comes to rating men, for example some prefer slender skinner guys rather the high standard for /fit/
>>
>>18145894
I'd ask if it was a joke. Then be happy if it wasn't.
>>
>>18146060
What if it's just a friend kind of thing he's doing though?
I can't tell, if men do it is it more than friends?
>>
>>18146081

doesnt matter if its a friend thing or not. you kiss him and it makes him think about you a different way
>>
Guy who is racist against asians asked me out. I'm asian. What does it mean? I should say no, right?
>>
>>18146081
>>18146087
if you kiss a guy, its officially more than a friendship.
>>
Question for GIRLS

I'm currently LDR with my gf starting from January. We started talking less lately, and we both are having problems outside of our relationship.

She drank and smoked yesterday with a group and a guy tagged her in the comments of a couples picture and posted the heart face emoji. Am I wrong to ask her about it? I feel like anything unenjoyable I say will just make her want to break up with me more.
>>
>>18144234
It means you're good looking but weird. They'd fuck you if you work on your personality
>>
>>18146088
How do you know he's racist against Asians?
>>
>>18144897
She wants you to fuck her. I assume you're under 25? Girls your age don't want relationships. They just want the D. They like going out Snapchat iphone whatever. Don't worry about it too much bro. I'm sure plenty of other ladies want your dick, you just gotta be yourself man.
>>
>>18146107
Not a girl, but i can help u here.
Dont worry about it unless ur gf starts showing interest in him
>>
>>18146171
We're LDR there's no way I can tell
>>
File: everynightmare.jpg (257 KB, 800x1649)
257 KB
257 KB JPG
Alright, let's hear the warnings. I only have two friends locally, so I feel I need to get some talking to. I haven't been in a relationship for ten months, after not being in any for close to six years. And so far, this is not a familiar trajectory.
>Go to party Friday.
>30 minutes in, sit next to girl
>We talk for about four hours. Dogs, travel, family, work.
>Oddly, zero anxiety talking with her.
>Go back to her place.
>Actually look at her, what god did I please, she's attractive.
>Sex
>Stay over
>Leave to run errands in the morning
>We hang out half of Saturday, just being lazy and catching up on sleep
>Stay the night
>Leave, take care of chores
>Return, have late lunch and spend more time on the couch talking.
>Spend all Monday texting each other, already have plans made for dinner this week.

Guess the big thing is I do like her so far, but just not sure what's going on or if this is going to burn out quick. I haven't caught any screaming red flags yet, the only thing that concerns me is she likes how "nice" I am, as in, you barely know me, what has happened to you that makes you think I'm that nice. As always, thank you for your time.
>>
>>18144906
Nice b8 man. Not only you knew some punk is fucking your wife you know every detail about what happened and how it happened? Get outta here man.
>>
>>18146176
well shit. if she went away somewhere theres no telling what she could be doing
>>
>>18146107
Did you actually think an LDR was going to work out?
>>
>>18146188
I went away and it's for a 1 year period. We have a 14 hour difference in timezone right now. I wasn't going to do LDR because I knew the difficulties and I didn't want to trouble her but she insisted, so here we are.
>>
>>18146179
Go with the flow and stop worrying. If it burns out quick, it burns out quick. Enjoy what you have in the moment.
>>
>>18146088
Asian pussy was made for white cock so you do the math. Math is kinda your thing.
>>
>>18146088
He might have been playing racist because he thought it was in line with some of that pickup artist shit.
So I'd say pass on him.
>>
>>18146204
1 year period. nope. thats done. no girl goes an entire year without fucking someone bro.

Also be aware that this "LDR" may be her excuse for subtley breaking up with u. that happens. unless youre close. but either way. remember what i said above
>>
>>18146231
>Also be aware that this "LDR" may be her excuse for subtley breaking up with u.
OP said in the very post that you replied to that it was her insisting on an LDR. He wanted to break up, can you not read?
>>
File: 1489996936098.png (8 KB, 640x480)
8 KB
8 KB PNG
>>18143074
Lads or girls
>last year
>see this girl lookin at me
>didnt think nothing of it
>it starts happening multiple times a day with her every time i see her
>nervous as fuck so i dont do anything at first
>till im in my car and i see her walking by turning her head to look at me
>finally approach, of course i was fumbling all around cause i was an insecure dork
>when i first started talking to her eyes were all wide and she was cheezing
>but she tells me shes busy, and for some reason i take that as a sign to never talk to her again
>fast forward to a couple months ago
>she starts showing up every where im at when leaving the building
>thought it was just a coincedence till i started catching her looking at me again, turning her head when i walked by etc
>dont do anything
>saw her in my recommended on facebook, had 10+ mutuals
>decided to add her, she accepted it

What the hell do I do now? I dont even know how I'd start with talking to her and whatnot, I'm not that socially autistic but whenever it comes to her i am, so I just forget what to do

>pls help a/fit/ autismo out
>>
>>18146234
(โ—”โ—กโ—”) can i
>>
File: 55226688488.gif (2 MB, 338x252)
2 MB
2 MB GIF
never came to /adv/ before but here it goes
>be robot(deep inside)
>know chick for months
>one day she starts hitting on me very hard
>end up in bed with her the same day
>keeps stopping me saying she has a problem with intimacy because of psychological trauma when she was a kid and cant orgasm
>after less than a minute of middle/ringfinger,fingering her she orgasms(first time i ever had my fingers in a woman)

So yeah i didnt have the balls to stick my dick in her.
Its WAY thicker and longer than my ring and middlefinger but idk if thats enough to make her orgasm.Im actually afraid its not and it could destroy my confidence and i will become that weird guy that never talks again.
>>
>>18146265
Cool story, but /adv/ isn't for storytimes. The fuck is your question?
>>
its pretty obvious mate
is my dick big enough?
>>
>>18146282
Doesn't matter. If you can make her cum at all, you're good to dick as much as you like.
>>
>>18146268
>>18146282
fug
>>
>>18146282
Big enough for what? How the fuck would we know anyway, we don't know how big your fingers are
>>
>>18146180
I wish I was baiting, dude. Her and I had been together for 3 years, I supported her through college, took care of her when she almost died of a medical issue nobody believed she had, and took care of her father while he was dying of terminal cancer. She didn't much like having sex with ANYONE according to herself, but that never bothered me because she was genuinely the sweetest woman I'd ever known. It hurts worse every day.

I only found out because she went to church with a friend and confessed to them when she was wracked with guilt, and her friends/family loved me too much to let me live oblivious to it. And even though she'll withhold the truth sometimes as a effective cover, she'll never lie to me once I ask the right questions because when she does she knows I can see right through her tone.

I tried to make it work by getting her to be honest with everything that happened that week, but I still spiraled down into rock bottom, crawling into a bottle and berating her for her own misery while feeling sexually repugnant. Otherwise judgement free exchange of feelings and thoughts had always been one of our relationships defining traits.
>>
>>18145887
Take up more hobbies and interests of your own so that you care less about how lonely you are. Additionally, you will learn more about yourself and what you want which will make you better at finding a partner. Personally I have no close friends and my family lives a long way away from me. I keep busy by working, going to the gym all year round, swimming in summer, playing football in the winter, learning to code, trying a new recipe every week and being a volunteer first aider. Your hobbies don't have to be cool they just have to be something you enjoy actively participating in that can also be social.
>>
I should have posted it her, but I would appreciate the thoughts of femanons/fembots on my other thread
>>18146311

>tl;dr We know little of each other, she practically never talks to me, I am the one who has to initiate conversation all time.
Should I still call her?
>>
Question for guys:
Uh. Is there a reason you don't get hard aside from not being attracted to a girl? I've been talking to a guy for about 2 weeks and I went to his place tonight. We talked for a couple of hours, had fun, danced, made out...
When it came to oral he really enjoyed himself and got hard but not fully. And he couldnt keep hard during sex. I felt pretty awful about it honestly. He told me it wasn't me but obviously I don't really believe it.
But then he took me to dinner and we went cruising, laughing and kissing at stop lights and whatnot. It seemed pretty genuine.
So is it a no-go and he was just being really nice to me? Or am I overanalysing it? I've honestly never had this happen before.
>>
>>18146437
See
>>18145208
>>
>>18146377
There's a saying "don't shit where you eat" in regards to asking out co-workers. Just know if she rejects you it can make things awkward at work. If you don't really know her she could have a boyfriend. You could try and find out or just straight up ask her out. Just make it clear you're romantically interested in her and it's not a friend thing to avoid confusion.
>>
>>18146444
So I'm not entirely repulsive? Great analogy. Thanks!
>>
>>18146437
At least four reasons I can think of off the top of my head.
>>
19F Only have had 1 partner: my current one.

Girls, when you're having sex with a guy, does your vagina ever feel "numb"? Like does it just feel like he's definitely thrusting in there but there's no true pleasure and it starts to hurt after a while? Idk if it's because there's something wrong with me or I think sex must feel a lot better than it really does because of the reactions I see from fem pornstars. Or maybe this a lubrication problem?

So I guess my next question is, what is sex supposed to feel like? How good do I need to feel? I've masturbated "wrong" my whole life, I think, because I really only rub my clit and tighten my legs because I like the pressure, and somehow I feel that may have affected how I feel during intercourse.

Anybody out there that can help?
>>
My long term gf thinks making out will be absolutely disgusting and refuses even a 10 second trial after brushing teeth and using mouthwash. I found this out after almost a year of bringing it up every 3-5 weeks, being told "not now, maybe next time" and really wanting to try it myself. Yet she's fine with animals licking her face and mouth, she's stated she'd be fine with giving a blowjob (something I think is gross), she's really looking forward to getting eaten out (I'll try anything once), and she's barely able to wait for sex (both have religious backgrounds and families so we're waiting to fuck).

Meanwhile I'm terrified of sex despite making jokes and innuendos from almost everything. She's a 9.5/10, I know I'm gonna bust early every time even if I rub one out first and wear a condom (with and without porn faps from flaccid to finished last under 2 minutes on average, even on the second or third go), and I'm scared I won't be able to get her off even with hand stuff and then neither of us will like it. We'd be a sexless, kissless couple.
>>
>>18146485
What...what do you mean you found out after almost a year...? You hadn't even made out after a year of dating...?
>>
>>18146488
Nope. She kept pushing it back with "not tonight, but maybe next time" and "it just doesn't sound appealing right now". I waited a bit between bringing it up so I wouldn't seem desperate but now I'm finding out if she gets her way that she's pretty adamant about then it's never happening. That's the first major issue I've had with her and I don't know how to bring it up other than "too bad, it's going to happen sooner or later or I'm getting it elsewhere"
>>
>>18146496
You don't have a girlfriend. You're not in a relationship. You have a female friend who uses you for money and the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse when guys hit on her.
>>
How do I become a better gf? We both seem to be pretty happy with the relationship, but I feel that I don't actively DO anything to improve the relationship, but I can't figure out what more I can do. What small things can your gf do to make you happy? People are obviously different and like different things, but I want suggestions.
>>
File: 1466915896337.png (98 KB, 600x500)
98 KB
98 KB PNG
In big-time need of advice:

>be me
>extremely cute new girl at work
>start talking to her one day, she seems really cool
>find out we have a lot in common, really start connecting. talk a lot over the course of a couple weeks
>start to like her
>last friday coworkers arrange a bar outing for the weekend
>she comes
>we all have drinks, have a great time
>connect with her even more. we sit at the bar away from everyone else and have a great conversation for a solid 30 minutes
>start really liking her
>later that night we end up making out pretty passionately. got to 3rd base. only reason we didn't have sex is because we had to crash on her cousin's big couch and our other coworker was sleeping on the couch right next to us

Next morning:

>we wake up, laying together, both sober. we talk for a long time, everything seems fine
>start making out and fooling around again. she seems just as receptive as the night before. she's smiling, kissing me really passionately. lots of tongue, etc
>leave her cousin's house and she drives me back to my car
>during the car ride she suddenly seems a little more distant and a bit awkward
>get to my car, ask if i can buy her breakfast
>says no
>no big deal, ask if she wants to hang out again sometime soon
>dismissively says we can next weekend

and now today when i saw her at work she was pretty quiet towards me. i'm not sure if she's worried about the fact that we work together, or if maybe i came off as needy or something. or if she's just being shy because we work together and she wants to take it slow. any feedback is appreciated
>>
My gf's been rather dull ever since I knew her, but she often states that she wants to change. However, she never manages, and keeps in the same shithole. Is there anything I can do to improve her? Everything seems like a disastrous death sentence to her - she's introvert, afraid of people and changes, and first to blame herself.
>>
File: 1489605055673.png (136 KB, 400x280)
136 KB
136 KB PNG
are all people different? girls are hella weird and people in general, smoke a lot of weed beta and autistic. can legally smoke tho so that's dope.
>>
>>18146482
Are you a troll? Because you know porn isn't real, right? And you know that every vagina is different, not everyone can orgasm from piv?
You can try using extra lube (you always should use lube desu) but I think the problem is just that you aren't in the mood, or he's terrible at sex overall or you just aren't into him.
Does he go down on you first? Ideally the best time for me for him to insert is after he's going down on me for a while and used 2 fingers. The fingers have to actually feel good, I have to want more, it can't just be a matter of "oh these fit now".

Is he trying hard enough? Are you both telling each other what feels right and wrong?
>>
>>18146524
Yes, everybody has their own unique personality. Some are more typical than others, but there's a virtually infinite number of possible personalities.
>>
>>18146522
Dating your co-workers is always a bad idea. She realized this, and you should also let it go.
>>
>>18146514
We (guys) really appreciate it when our girlfriends do something for us that we didn't have to romance you or work for. The male's role in the stereotypical heterosexual couple is laden with a lot of responsibility. Gotta make all the moves, do all the romantic stuff, buy all the flowers, etc. Just make a random romantic gesture for him that wasn't initiated by anything he did.
>>
>>18146541
You think so? I mean, I would think she had a lot of time to deliberate on it. We were talking for about 2 weeks before that night and I had a feeling she was into me. Then I ended up being right. It's odd to me that she would just change her mind that suddenly after having so much time to think about it.

And honestly, with this girl, I don't think it would be a bad idea. Although I very well could be wrong.
>>
>>18146514
I just do small things to prove that I've thought of him some days (e.g. bring his favorite snack home even if it's something cheap, send a photo of a funny sign I saw etc) or even just send a "wish we were in bed togther " text.
If I want to make a big gesture, I'll make us dinner or something

Don't let yourself go. It's one thing to be able to relax and not wear makeup, but I keep myself in shape and try to wear nice clothes or whatever sometimes, so that I'm the girl that was advertised to him
Keep some mystery in the relationship (I am happy for my boyfriend to see me gross or when I'm sick, but I never use the toilet in front of him or shave my armpits in front of him). Hanging out with my own friends and having my own life means that I still have some independence and interesting things to tell him.

If it gets into a routine of you doing these things and him making no effort, call him out on it.
>>
File: 1489904638667.jpg (54 KB, 350x383)
54 KB
54 KB JPG
>>18146237
Bump please
>>
>>18146524
All people are different, but the difference may be infinitely small.

>>18146514
When I'm exhausted it goes leagues when people do small shit like taking care of dinner or loading the dish washer so I don't have to. It's not grand, but it means a lot to me.

>>18146437
>Is there a reason you don't get hard aside from not being attracted to a girl?
Stress, anxiety off the top of my head. It can make you nut too quickly, or not at all, or even have difficulties getting an erection.
>>
>>18146753
>People keep using my Megahex reaction pics.
>>
File: 1459294935242.jpg (61 KB, 468x720)
61 KB
61 KB JPG
>>18146761
Should have tried water marking them like that one cunt on /pol/.
>>
>>18143074
Hey femanons, why are women less forward compared to men? Im bi so i know for sure guys are more forward.
>>
>>18146813
cause a lock that opens itself is shitty, or something something along those lines...
>>
>>18146170

>Don't worry about it too much bro. I'm sure plenty of other ladies want your dick
>you just gotta be yourself man.

I don't believe this statement
>>
>>18143297
all people claiming "issues if u above 20" are sluts with a kid and no baby daddy that have had at least 30 dicks in them like >>18143302

There is nothing wrong with being a girl and a virgin, real men look for that kind of virtue that is impossible to find nowadays with all these "sexually liberated" fuckbags that are useless by the age of 25.

>t. Man who has been through the fuckboi scheme and settled with a lovely girl that never fell for the shit they feed you women these days.
>>
>>18146843

I'm a 27 year old who only had sex one time 7 years ago. I feel very intimidated by women because I know they are all very sexually experienced, experienced in relationships too.

It's like I'm a Little League baseball player looking at the National League. I can't fucking compete with that shit..
>>
>>18146813
Because we're not thirsty like men are
>>
>>18146883
As if there was any virtue to this. The fact is women know men will come to them, so they don't really need to put themselves out there. There's a reason women rarely do more than put out "hints".
>>
>>18143297
I would be empathetic at any age. People simply grow up different than others. No shame in it.
>>
>>18146902
>As if there was any virtue to this
There is
>>
>>18143111
No way, and I think it's adorable. God bless you sweetheart.
>>
>>18146915
Not really. I'm not angry about it but women have a good game set up, able to avoid taking the initiative. That's not virtue, that's just good tactics.
>>
>>18146920
I don't know why you're using a loaded term like "virtue" to describe it but the fact is, it's true. I never implied any kind of morality behind it.
>>
>>18146924
>I never implied any kind of morality behind it.
>Because we're not thirsty like men are
>>
>>18146926
Right, where is the moral proclamation? I'm not seeing it.
>>
Girl and I were both subjected to some dark shit and we've pushed each other away.

I wrote a letter as a therapeautic exercise about what happened on my end and how much I care for her.

Should I give it to her? I imagine she might've moved on by now, but she might still be hurting.
>>
>>18146295
Yeah dude, your ex was a manipulative, double standars bitch. Get with someone that will actually like you(and like back) AND have sex with you.
>>
>>18146437
This happened to me thr first few times I had sex with my exfwb. Stress and anxiety can make it hard being erect.
>>
>>18146485
>your gf doesn't want to make out
What the shitty hell have you two been doing this whole time then?! You should of have started making out by at most the 3rd/4th week. This just screams she ain't that into you or she would of have done this too you already without saying a word.
>>
>>18146535
I'm not a troll, no. Just not very knowledgeable about these kinds of things, I'm ashamed to admit. I don't really watch porn, but when I have, the girls looked like they were enjoying everything, and I really can't tell the difference 90% of the time between fake and real. Probably even higher than that.

I've never used lube before, which might explain why the entrance of my vagina mildly hurts upon any kind of penetration (even my fingers).

It might also be me not being in the mood (worrying about people hearing us), like you said. He likes to go down on me but I feel like he does every movement too quickly and I feel like he must get sick of it eventually. How long can these things normally go on for? How long is a "while"? I don't want him to get tired-- sorry if that sounds stupid.

My communication might be lacking in what feels good. He says everything is great, but I've never talked to him about these issues. I'll be sure to talk about some of these with him tomorrow.

Sorry anon, I just feel super insecure, y'know? Thank you for your reply.




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.