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/adv/ - Advice

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This is the place to unload that baggage that's been weighing you down for days, weeks, months, or years; to relieve the pit in your stomach that won't go away, write a letter to someone, ask for advice, etc.

Previous Threads (up to 5, working backwards):
>>18785512 (GIOYCN title)
>>18779867 (no GIOYC title)

- For even earlier threads, check out this archive (here): https://archived.moe/adv/search/subject/GIOYC/

- When posting a new thread, use this template, for the convenience of all users.


- A public Kik group for whomever wishes to connect with others and discuss their issues: #GIOYC

- Suicide Hotline Numbers are located above the catalog, or check your country's Hotline Numbers (here): https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines

- A YouTube channel which pertains to therapy, mental health, depression, anxiety, etc.:https://m.youtube.com/#/user/KatiMorton

- Any recommendations for additional resources are, and will be, appreciated.
It makes me so sad that I can't help you. I know that it's impossible because depression can't be treated with love, but seeing you so lifeless still pains me. I'll be strong for you, though, because even if I can't do anything, I won't add to your issues. We'll make it together somehow.
Man, I've been spiraling out of control. I gotta get out of debt while treating those I care about correctly.
I wish he would stop hating me. He hates me so much. Been hating me for years. I want to know what I did or said that made him start hating me.
I really want to make things better.
Why did you treat me like I meant nothing to you? I tried to help you, I actually cared about you deeply, I loved you.
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You're probably not the person. They have hated me since 2010-2010-2012. Middle school. I just want to go back in time. We used to be close friends. I would like to fix what's wrong. We don't even have to become friends again or talk after. Just want to be on good terms.
My wife recently divorced me after a marriage of 5 years and our relationship lasted 13 years. We have two kids.
I don't know that woman anymore. She all of a sudden has sex with everyone, male and female, like it is a normal thing to do. This shit is breaking me up badly and I am obsessed by it. She lies to everyone, doesn't communicate about our kids, goes to sexparties and constantly talks shit about me. I took care of our kids since they were born. She is emotionally completely disconnected, towards everything. I wonder if this is a desire she wanted for a while or that she completely lost it.

I can't take it anymore, seeing her go to shit like that.
First you catfish me, but I am so in love already that I forgive you. New lies keep on piling further into our relationship, but I forgive you. You make me a financial ruin, in debt. I love you, so I move in with you, move to a different country, leave a great job and cat behind. Everytime I say something, you get super defensive and tell me it's all my fault. You call me a bitch, a liar, you throw money which isn't even yours, it's the money your grandma gave you for driving license) at my face and tell me to go, you lock me on the balcony telling to rot, then try throw PC down telling me it's because of this PC you met me and that was the worst that ever happened to you.

Oh hell no. I forgave you many times you abused me, offended me. You even tried to kill yourself in front of me, I can't count times that you blackmailed me with suicide or you blackmailed me that you will leave me if I tell anyone about your abuse. And I was just too scared to leave, thought that's what I deserve.

You emotionally cheated on me on top of that!

Fuck you!!!
she asked me 2 times if i'm going o ut in the city yesterday night

what the fuck am i doing
America partially disgusts me when you get a shooter. The media swarms in to tear open anyone related to the shooter. In particular the Las Vegas shooter's girlfriend.

Does this poor woman have to have their mug plastered all over the news worldwide like some manhunt when she wasn't involved? WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT <XXX> articles all over. Fuck me.

How about doing the investigation before you show her face to the world. If she was involved, fuck her, throw her into the fire, but if she's innocent, don't tarnish her entire life like that.
That's the media for you. They'll sacrifice anyone for their dimes, because people want to "know", whether said information is relevant or not.

It's hard to block them too because as soon as you do they'll take it to court and then uphold the "free speech lol", which is ironic. You don't have a right to privacy if it makes someone money.
I'm from southern europe and I can't escape it so yes, you're right. Just shameless "we have to capitalize on shit that gets us ratings no matter the cost". And it's not just America mind you but it definitely ranks the highest in terms of lack of morality or empathy.

This woman and his brother have to swallow the fact one of their closest loved ones just randomly killed 58+ people. Hard enough to do without having the entire world know your identity and find some form of vengeance by taking it out on them. it's exactly like the film "We need to talk about Kevin".
Any place with a hardcore freedom of speech rule is going to be like that. The worse is when they want to use it to gain money, but try to say it's not allowed for others use.

They can claim people want to "know" and I'm sure they do but they shouldn't have the right to know. The only thing that needs to be known is who's involved and who isn't. All other information is unnecessary.
Stop talking about me courting a girl. The way you talk about it comes across as fetishising and is putting me off persuing her. I feel like you only want us together so you can boast about setting up a gay couple for social justice brownie points.

You never saw me constantly talk about your boyfriend and try to invade your privacy every time we met last year.
Pretty much yes. But fuck integrity, if we did that the story buzz would die fast. you need to keep feeding people semi-related/most-likely-not-related bullshit until a big scoop comes along. The media loves shooters.
She's most likely mental. She might be Borderline or Bipolar.
I still love you. Please come back.
Insert hug here, can't say much to comfort you anon, kids involved is rough, some people get off on being validated. Not everyone goes into full whore mode after divorce. You deserve better remember that, her talking shit just makes her feel better about her self. And the constant mirage of peeps just shows what a hollow empty person she is. If she was like that you would have know when married, honesty anon. This comes from someone who was married three years who had an open marriage. We ended ours amicably and continued our hijinxs unbeknownst to our other partners till he actually knocked someone up who already had two kids. It wouldn't have even progressed to that had he not been lacing his nose, I would have reconciled and got back into it. Haven't spoken to him since the new wife sent pics of their kid. Sad she's actually hot but she's a horrible person.
You smashed my heart so many times in a way that I can't see/imagine any future for me
Fuck you why did I met you, I want to be normal again.
At least you didn't gave me hiv
There's a sitcom out there called Fresh off the Boat.My parents watch it. The other night's episode included some girl character that apparently comes out as a homosexual. I only saw one scene. She was trying to talk to one of the main younger male characters about, and one line he said was "When did you turn gay?" to which she responds to "I didn't turn gay, I'm not a werewolf." My mom then said "I can't watch this anymore." I thought they changed it, because I suddenly saw Wheel of Fortunate, but I guess that was still in the episode. Afterwards my mom made the comment on that part. I didn't hear it all but she was saying something about pushing "an agenda" and how 15-16 years olds can't figure something like that out or around those lines. Didn't catch it all.
Why does everything have to be an agenda? And isn't 15-16 the starting point of coming of age? Why can't a 15-16 year old start to be firm about their sexuallity? When the average says "I'm straight" no one questions them. That's when the normal boys and girls starting liking each other and try to have sex. Hell, I remember my mom ask my younger brother, who's 16, about those jean looking sweat pants you have probably seen metro or homosexuals wear, and he responded with "No, I'm straight." She didn't say anything about it then. So why is it suddenly different with homosexuality? Shit it's not like this was a 5 year old saying "I'm otherkin and my sexuality is demisexual."

I'm not even trying to make a point about whether or not homosexuality is morally, or anything politcal. I did hear my stepdad talk about something which I assume was reviews from critics on other new sictom episodes for the week and how a lot of them were like "average" reviews but this one was a "must" see. I get that one sounds a bit fishy but you never know. I digress though, as the thread says it's just something I wanted to get off my chest.
Who knows, maybe I'm being retarded here.
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>Have no friends
>Try to make friends
>People keep you at arm's length because they assume you've got some hidden agenda or want to fuck them
>Just want to make a real friend
>Nobody understands or wants to
I'm sure you aren't them. But I'm an idiot so I'll ask anyway. Initials?
Join a club
It's not that I hate you. I couldn't, but I'm tired of dealing with the mess we made. I tried my hardest to be strong for the both of us, and you never wanted to be there for the heavy lifting. You just expected our relationship to simply work, I guess. That's not how things work, I hope you learn that in time. But you and me? That's not going to happen again. I had to be the adult in the relationship. I wanted to work as a team, but you didn't. Love isn't enough. It's a huge part but a good relationship should have communication, trust, patience. We had love but none of the rest. I got tried to carrying the load of two. So I just let it fall. Something I should have done years ago.

I don't hate you, I likely never would, but I don't love you. There is way too much baggage between us now, and I don't feel like carrying any of it on my next flight. Let baggage claim sort that shit out. It's not mine anymore.
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>i'm a libertarian
>i was named after Lenin
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>extremely friendly
>has a smile as bright as the sun
>is at the very least a little smart
>clearly likes someone else
She doesn't want help in any form and she won't accept help from anyone. I even told her parents about what she's been doing lately. They're worried too but don't do shit about it, they don't even talk to her while she lives with them. She's become dominant as fuck.


Thanks for the hug. I really needed that. It's true, sge constantly seeks validation from everyone. Like I was the bad guy in our relationship. I never held her back in anything and I was tolerant as fuck. I guess I was never enough for her. It's sad to see her go like that. She's intelligent and outgoing, but this was something I never EVER expected. During our relationship I knew that she wasn't satisfied with anything. Afterwards she even said she wanted the kids to make me happy. Now she's starting to come back at what she said and she wants to really be there for them. In my eyes, too little, too late.

She now wants to live a polyamory/open relationship lifestyle, just like you did. I just don't understand where that comes from all of a sudden. She's 30 by the way.
I'm a video game addict, and all I want to do is quit my job and try to be an off grid NEET for as long as I possibly can.
Does she tend to be depressive or verbally abusive during marriage? Does she has the habit of going on and off the water wagon?
I love you too. I wish I could go back to where you are.
Then fight for me. Say this to me.
I'm sick of doing all the fighting.
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I like you because I feel like I really get you, like you really get me and I've ever met anyone like that before. You're so relatable when I talk to you, and I know you've said the same to me. You have this tremendously complicated inner world whirling around inside you and I find that so unbelievably attractive. You just get it, do you know how rare that is?
It's all the little things, that look on your face as we drive across the desert and you just light up at each new landscape, your evil little laughs when you make fun of me, humming the theme of the Empire for no reason, I just can't handle it.
When I see everyone on an expedition getting worse, things are coming apart, I'm bursting at the seams myself and then there's you, just becoming more solid. I'm completely blown away by that, how strong you are. I look at someone who has that and I think I understand, I think I know where that comes from. I may not have all of the details but I get the vibe that something really shitty happened to you, but you survived and you're wielding it like I am. You just do it a lot more modestly. I know that difficult place. I've been seriously drawn towards someone who knows it as well.

I'm sorry I buffed your advances while we were in the field and you were flirting with me like crazy. When the two of us jumped in the van during that lightning storm you leaned on my chair, looked at me. I had to fight so hard not to turn around and kiss you. You are the right person in the right place at the wrong time. I knew I was leaving, and it was killing me.
It kills me when you say you feel inadequate, insecure, all that stuff because you're not and I wish you could see that. When you talk about how you see yourself I just want to grab you by the shoulders and tell you you're wrong, because I know how amazing you really are, and I want you to have that. I wish you could feel as good about yourself as I do about you.
Really though, where have you been all my life?
Thank you for everything. Family, friends, enemies and exes. I don't know how I pushed myself and kept motivated to get my degree faster than four years at 21. I don't know how I plowed through the emotional pain of my previous relationship which was the most meaningful to get to where I'm at today. I've relocated states to somewhere that is more positive, motivated, opportunity is abundant. I wouldn't have gotten there if it weren't for y'all. See you later Texas hello Colorado. Single young degree and starting a career with my bachelors in Finance. I'm gunna kick your ass world if you don't kick mine first... which I felt like you already have.
You wanted to have kids with me. You asked for it. We paid so much money. Now you're miserable and won't touch me or talk to me. I didn't think havibg a baby was a 'fix' for anything- I didn't think there was a problem since we have always been so perfectly happy together. Now it seems that maybe you wanted this to fill some void I wasn't aware of, and have just realised it won't work. Come back to me. You're my best friend and I miss our happiness
No, she kept her emotions and feelings to herself, lied about many things, an mostly doesn't tell important details at all because she thinks they don't matter.
A lot of people with mood disorders tend to isolate themselves emotionally. She might have thoughts that she wasn't proud of or done something she doesn't want you to know.
>hot as fuck
>intelligent and ambitious
>has the same passions as me
>overall just my type
>has a girlfriend

I feel you my anon, fuck this gay earth
The thing that sucks the most is that I'm thinking more about her than myself. I know everything what's there to know about moving on, but why, oh, why, can't I just do it. What the fuck is holding me back? I am single and divorced, but I don't feel single at all. This is going on for about six months, I had several depressions and many ups and downs. I'm truly going apeshit about this whole situation.
It just feels like our relationship didn't even matter at all. A nice story for my kids.
It's not your fault. What you are feeling is normal. When you have spent so long with someone only for it to end so dark, it can really be a devastating experience, especially when your partner seems to have been dishonest with you for who knows how long. Don't lose hope, for what I can see she's in the wrong and her behaviour is just unreasonable, obscene and ridiculous. You're the strong one here, not her. Don't let her drag you down with her nasty behaviour. Try to accept for what happened and see that not all is lost and focus your affection on your kids. The wound will mend if you work on keeping your life together.
A girl is playig hard to get and I'm in love

I don't want to fuck up everything not this time
We are both scared. We are walking into new lands together. Hand in hand. I can see you on the verge of saying three little words that could change everything. The same words I have at the tip of my tongue. Yet as we both spend time together, we know very well it's too soon.
So we'll hold on to them as we go forward.
The way you are around me, I know you been burned before. Maybe not as bad as I has. Where you touched fire, I was hurled into a volcano. It could be that I am older than you that it gives me ability to be open with you. I did spend so much time learning from my last mistakes. You've yet to really make any.

Yet you have accepted me as I am. As I accept you for everything you are. Good or bad, i want all of you for myself. I'm so selfish, but it seems you are too. The way you want to be mine, the way you want me to be yours. Those sweet little dreams you have been constructing. I want to be part of them. I know you fear the way I can control your emotional state, it's normal when two people get so close. It's bound to happen, all I can do is my best to not hurt you. I want to make you happy, make you feel the way you make me feel. If you trust me enough to tug at your heart, trust me that I will do what I can to never break it.

We both come from dark clouds. We aren't used to the light we seem to bring into each other's lives. And now before us we have dark clouds again, but of a different sort. It's not the miasma of our muddled pasts, but now of the uncertain future. You are wary, and I foolhardy. Hold on to my hand and I will push through them as long I have you beside me.

Whatever the future brings we will handle it as a team. I will stand beside you and you seem hellbent to stand beside mine. You have given me hope and brought a desperate breath of life into my own dreams and ambitions.

Now I just put them into action. Move forward so we can have those beautiful mornings you dream of. That someday when you are completely mine and I yours.
kiiillllllll mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Fuck you, kill ME!
Thank you for your kind words. Moving on is hard too. We've sold our house and I'm going to live near her for coparenting. She has everything in the new city, friends, family, and a job nearby. I have nothing. Yeah I arranged an apartment for myself, so there's that, but I basically have to start from scratch with everything. It's hard for me. I gave so much away from myself that sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm no longer the fun guy where people loved to hang out with. There are many days that I don't even so much as laugh, just because I can't. My sexdrive is totally gone. I even contemplated suicide, but that is stupid as fuck. I have kids, I could never do that.
Everybody sees I'm going to shit, I got professional help but even that is not adequate. I tried antidepressants, but that went totally wrong, so I won't take that stuff ever again.

The sad thing is that I'll be confronted with her for the rest of my life, because of the kids. I even wished her dead, so that I can truly move on. To me it's much easier when she's dead. That sounds harsh, I know. She just keeps fucking with my mind.
My man, what you do is become the good parent. Work hard and make sure they know you love them. Take care of them that's all you can do.
Fuck her, she's just there, but the kids you take care of them.
The reason you won't move on is because you wanted payback for then hurt she has caused. Don't let this become a pissing contest, it will only interrupt your progress in recovery. Ignore her as much as you can and don't let her provoke you, it will be just her trying to feed her ego.
Even if I don't fuck things up and do relatively well in certain situations, afterwords, when I go home I think about it and despite doing well, I still get the "shit, I should've done that instead, would've been much better if I didn't do the other thing". I'm critical of things even when I don't do them badly. Why? how do I stop this and just enjoy the fact i didn't fuck up entirely for once?
Why am I so fucking tired even though i got eight hours of sleep last night?
I fucking regret moving together with my classmate so much. Of course it's not all bad, but I seriously doubt I want to live with him (and the other flatmate) more than the one year I'm contractually obliged to.

>makes coffee in the morning and wakes me before school
>does dishes
>constantly seeks attention with edgy hlol meemes all through the school day
>if he has something to say about anyone, be our friends or randoms on the bus, it's never positive
>sees no problem with smoking weed several times a week
>plays exclusively trance/deep house whilst doing the above-mentioned activity with his other friends (weekdays no hindrance)
>turns off the heat all the time so it's freezing in our apartment

Are these petty annoyances? I feel so pent up and have had a slight headache for the past weeks. Taking long walks or reading a book, haven't worked so far to take my mind off these things. I would really appreciate some tips to clear my mind before I go to sleep.
You might have sleep apnea...
I fucked my best friend's girlfriend.

I'm consumed by feelings of emptiness and detachment, as is she.

We are now confined to our own personal hell and nobody can ever know why.
You think? This has happened only a couple other times this semester. It's always after I take adderall, which is weird because usually adderall makes me kind hyper.
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Basically, my girlfriend has been crying and claiming she's been depressed over the way she looks, and I've fucking tried drilling it in her head that there's nothing wrong with her. It's getting on my nerves, and I feel like a shitty boyfriend because I can't fix her low self-esteem.

She later calms down and tells me that we're both crazy and our relationship will take much more effort than other relationships.

What the fuck should I do?

>pharmacologically increases energy output beyond natural limits

>surprised that an average amount of sleep doesn't leave him feeling properly reinvigorated

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>tfw too horny to sleep
>tfw schlicked for 5 hours and it did nothing
>tfw no money for a new toy
>tfw no bf to feed me the pipe
>tfw no male friends I trust enough to scratch my itch
>tfw my labia is sore from hours of rubbing
>tfw 24 hours no decent sleep

Why the fucking fuck. I go months without even a tingle and now it won't fucking stop. It's times like this I wish I wasn't fat, ugly and insecure or distrustful of men and paranoid about getting pregnant or an STD or I could have been like the other whores and have an orbiter fix me up. I mean I'm a forever alone future crazy cat lady. I don't even need my bits to be working down there anymore. It shouldn't have to be like this.
God damn you pigeon girl.

God damn you.

I will marry you. You look like the sweetest girl in the world and I love you.
have you talked to her about how all this makes you feel? you probably feel sad watching the one you love beat themselves down, especially over something that isn't even true. and then you probably also feel at least a little helpless because you want to help her so badly, but you don't know how. you could probably tell her that kind of stuff and just be there for her and tell her that you think she's pretty, and that you're going to stay with her through all this and help her come out through the other side. you can't really change people's behaviors and beliefs, which really sucks, but you can just be there for them and consistently show them you love them and you're not going to leave because the relationship takes effort. all relationships take effort. the good ones are worth that effort, and you can tell her that too
Yeah but usually after I take adderall those effects are delayed. It shouldn't make me tired.
Sick and tired of women questioning me about my dick. Its not the size of it when erected, or holding erection its something else.
I just want to get my life together and get myself on the right track. But I don't know how and I'm afraid my life is spiraling out of control.
What's up, anon? This is /adv/ after all
I just don't have feelings any more

All I want to do Is eat and sleep and work on my thesis

Don't want to talk to gf or friends

For few days it felt weird doing it

But then now it became a habbit

Having no emotions just being a machine

Music makes sense - I am listening to ufomammut

Wondering how long i will be like this
How do I stop the compulsion to check my messages?

I need to buckle up and start doing work, but I'm low-key addicted to checking my messages. And I keep thinking about my boyfriend and it's driving me mad. I don't want to be obsessed.
Why don't you write a short message or a poem in your notebook whenever you get the urge to check the messages and talk to him? That's what people probably used to do back then when they weren't connected 24/7.
So, did a bunch of people make my game? My mechgame I had talked about.

Did EA ever use my ideas? Like, did they go back and make a 2d/3d hybrid for the new sims mobile game like I fucking told them to at the very very very beginning? Did they ever use my ideas of an art/fashion/photography based expansion where you used the expanded renderers from CAS to export screenshots of your characters? How neat would it have been if they made it so you could design your own clothing, from the cuts of the fabric, ect?

Why the fuck doesn't anyone listen to me? All of my ideas are fucking gold. G-O-L-D and I have the ability to at least make a presentation for them.

For fuck's sake, EA could have paid me $1million a year to have me tell them which of their projects were going to succeed or fail. I would have saved them hundreds of millions of dollars. I know these things, mang. I just do.


I just want to die.
Long Term Roleplay? Yeah, no thanks.
people that talk about getting laid make me uncomfortable. I don't look to get laid myself, I want something more fulfilling but people are retarded and when they hear it they automatically consider me the weird one because "you're young, go get laid"
Get an app or browser extension that blocks that shit and ask someone to hide your phone. Also remind yourself why you're doing your work in the first place. Do you want to get a degree? A job you don't hate? Feel accomplished? Your work is part of that.
I want it all to go away. I regret meeting you so much because I knew you were useless trash but I felt bad for you and opened up to you because I could see you needed something and now you think you're better than me. Fuck you. I can't wait for the day your bubble bursts and you come running back. You just piggy back off of everyone else. Try having a personality of your own. You take a tightly coiled shit all over my happiness everytime because you can't handle that I might be a better person than you. You are literally nothing and it is precisely that reason, that you are nothing and so not important to anything at all that bothers me so much that you acted in the way you did. I hate you right now and never want to talk to you again but living for the moment when you come crawling back when you need someone because I will take the high road and show you just how insignificant you are.
It's a long, long story, but aren't they all?

I wanted to go to MIT, I wanted to be a researcher and study things, specifically Machine Learning. But my life never afforded me opportunities. I came from a poor home, I came from a single mother who loved me so much but had to work all the time. My schooling was terrible.

Now I'm 23 and living in squalor, sequestered off from everything. I live with a friend in a old trailer thats falling apart. I'm poor and I keep falling into the abysmal pit of debt and cyclic money spending. My time is taken by work which I've been denied 3 promotions. I can't focus on any hobbies because the gravity of my situation crushes down whenever I see my time slip away. I can't save money, I can't afford medical insurance which I desperately need. I can't even force myself to act and get going.

I know what I must do, I'm not stupid. But I have no discipline, I have no determination nor drive. Directed by a distilled fear of my dichotomized decisions. Drastically dwelling on my desensitization of my situation, until there's nothing but fear and anxiety.
Litany against fear from dune
I did edibles for the first time in years and am now convinced I figured out the afterlife.
It's all just one big dmt trip.
It feels as though it's an eternity but to the outside observer you've died in an instant. So don't blow your brains out with a gun or you might not get an afterlife.
This is also why people who try dmt says it's life changing. They are already prepared for death without realising. I'm terrified I'll spend eternity in a bad trip especially cuz I've no experience with dmt.
>Litany against fear from dune

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain."

But is there fear in not remaining? I want to seek out my place. I fear little more than myself.
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I'm hesistant now to ask that bitch out. I saw one guy try to start a conversation with her and she got up a minute later.
So ... was the person my mother talking about Wu? That would make sense.

Are all the girls going to IPFW while this shit goes down?

Why can't I be with themmmmmmmm. Is it more than one person?

My mom originally said "Be careful, it's hot hot hot hot." then my dad more recently said "Not that hot but it's very sweet."

If it's more than one person, this makes sense. If It's only one girl, then it sounds like a bachelor type deal.

I can't think of any girls I would be interested in that aren't smoking hot. Emily maybe? Claire? I could see my dad saying that about Claire because she's not generic hot but she's like... super fucking beautiful. Is is pigeon girl? That would be amazing. I have the biggest fucking crush on catsenia.

As always, Bree and Maria stand as the most likely.

Really though I would rather just die.
high maintenance seems like? If she seems like it then to be honest man, I wouldn't bother, looks aren't everything if thats why you fancy her, you just let your dick do the thinking on that one, if you want to fuck then just ask her out, but if you want something more then whack one out then come back and look at this girl and see if you still want her, chances are you won't even like her
Thanks Anons! Very practical tips and I'll put em to use, starting now.

Sorry for asking dude. But you write really well.
I just love you and can't get you out of my head. It sucks....cause you tell me that you can either adore me or hate me. and leave it at that. my minor victory is when i can tell that you care. Other than that you push me away ..you say that your cold.. while stroking my hair and I proceed to fuck you. I'll give you what I promised.. but I want to love you more. you tell me you hate mushy shit. yet your actions say otherwise.. that is until you catch yourself reciprocating all the affection I force on you. I just wanna be loved by you. and no one else. ...am i that hard to believe If I am being as blunt as can be what more can i do? If you say I'm all mind games. ....
Is it Hayley?

I have nothing against her. She SUPER fucked with my head when I was at a very vulnerable time. I was genuinely really into her. I don't know if people consider me a predator because of the 6 year age difference but keep in mind I have NO IDEA of my super celebrity status.

If those were her in those photos someone posted, congrats darlin' you're super pretty. Really shitty of that person though. If it wasn't an agent and just a regular asshole I'll make sure he pays for it.

It could also just be every girl I have ever had a thing for. You might think I was a playboy but for fuck's sake, it's less than 20 girls I have ever "had a thing" for and they were all just using me. I have only had sex with 3 girls, each one I considered a soulmate at the time. Each one broke me.

I wish someone would talk to me. This is going to cause life long damage if I live through this. Not the kind that makes someone stronger either. The kind that leaves someone with PTSD and no ability at fucking all to trust another human being ever again.
I want to die, really

We can make it a date.
Thank you but I don't think so, people can make words much more eloquent than my own.

And ask what, in this post you posed no question.

A date. Wow.
I fell for her, lost her for reasons unknown, she was my first and I feel like she'll be my last, I just don't have it in me to approach other girls, just wish I was still with that one and made it work but thats impossible, she's pretty much gone out of my life forever like she never existed. It felt like I had it all, like life finally had a pay off, but no, its like everything else in life, it just goes away and its back to hoping for that pay off. Living is dull and repetitive and holding onto good things that make it otherwise is just a struggle that overcomes you sooner or later
Well, she definitely doesn't look like one of those hot girls and she sits alone usually. I may be overthinking it, but I've made eye contact with her quite a few times which is why I'm wondering if I should bother.
Initials? You or the person
Live for yourself and yourself alone

Seduce your inner demons and dance with them and improve yourself

Give it a time with dating

You will come back good

She won't be your last and you won't be her last

Life goes on

Leading your to great mysteries and wonders and sadness and and sorrow and soltitidue
I see a guy and girl in the study hall

Obviously they are couples

The girl has amazing curls

Something that makes me feel sane and serene looking at it

It has been 8 years .. seeing curls on women makes me feel hope and peace

It just happens .. seeing curls that are natural and not forced


Sometimes i wish my gf had curls

Sometimes I wish I didn't exist and make her life a misery

Anyways .. the night beckons me to immerse myself into studies

No one to tlak to except my mind

Like I wanted it is time to enjoy
Sorry anon I couldn't respond to you

I guess my mind is not available much except random thoughts of nothingness
what are the ones you're looking for?
25 years old, finished masters, joined a big 4 firm, everything seems on track except the fact can't get dates, i look like shit, no female attention or whatsoever and still a virgin

fuck dating, fuck females, fuck everything, i am god damn done with this shit, no more
You replied to my post with "hmm..."

What the shit are you talkin about darlin'.
I really really really wish you guys would just let me do whatever it is I have to do.

Why the FUCK is this shit going on for soooooo looonnnggggg. You keep telling me I have to have sex in order to end this or that is what this is heading towards but fucking cmon, fuck off. The longer you wait the more I totally don't want to fuck anything. The longer you wait the less amount of energy I have.
dating this gorgous girl now, about 1 month now, i just dont know what to do, i dont know whether she wants to do more or not, we just cooked together had dinner, nice time, but every fucking time i want to kiss her its like an invisible wall or something that i cant reach out to kiss her, its just so damn frustrating, this has been a problem all my life, i just cant seem to do the first step, i instantly panic regardless what i do and i cant seem to find a solution for this.. btw first time posting here im pretty down and frustrated right now

Looking for Mary Jane
just realized that I'm confused all the time, trying to do everything last minute and always end up embarrassing myself. I'm also a perfectionist which is torture because I literally fuck up everything.

I've been told I'm smart but because of the things above I feel like I'm not smart at all.

What do I need to do to slow down and take control of my life? Do therapists help with that type of stuff?
>Do therapists help with that type of stuff?
It sounds like something a (school) counselor could help with or someone else at your school that can help you with learning and planning. Therapists are more for mental health problems, which you don't seem to have.
I'm glad you got the abortion.
I hate you, but I hate your family even more.
I hope you enjoy your new methhead life and family you fucking whore.
Don't come crying to me when you miscarry in 3 months.
I don't like how this sounds , but I think I am going insane

Basically , I killed my mind with antidepressants (Yes , it sound really dramatized , but at least for me , it has made a terrible impact) , before taking them I used to be able to had vivid dreams , or simply a pretty good imagination , I was able to visualize my ideas pretty easily , and all of that. After taking them literally ALL of my ideas and dreams broke appart , I can't visualize anything now , nor I can have the ideas I used to have , now , I am just empty and pretty lost from everything
This doesn't come handy since I just started going to class , and the only motivation I had was my future job , being a videogame director , which now I have killed .

Now I wish I had someone to rely on , someone to hug or something , It really feels bad to cry to sleep wishing for a fucking hug , it's pathetic.
This is making me lost all interest in life , and being alive , what the hell I am supposed to do ? I am just a childish person who just wanted to do what used to keep him alive and share it with others , I am , just
I just don't know anymore
I just want to simply die and rest for a damn time
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Was dating this girl for like 6 weeks. I was starting to think I'd finally get a gf, then she lost interest out of nowhere. This was after several months of failed first dates where the girl would just ghost me immediately afterwards.

I like to think I'm not hideous if I can get all these dates in the first place, but god damn, this feels a lot more difficult than it should be.
So like, I want to be a pretty lady.

I want to be surrounded by pretty ladies.

I want to go home.


Just let me fucking die. This is never going to end. You keep telling me "WINNER!" and "YOU'RE NUMBER 1!!!!!" but... nothing is happening.

Kill me. Just fucking kill me.
I love you.

its odd how accurate some of these are.
I dated a girl exactly for that amount of time, thought she'd be my first gf and then out of nowhere she bailed. What's that about? do women get together and plan this shit? how come they do the exact same thing, at the exact same time to guys in a similar situation? you're not the first person I share this experience with btw, over the last week or so there was about 4 other guys I noticed here. Weird
I'm fucking everything up in my life because I feel like I'm not in control so I'm burning everything down and hoping someone will stop me. I don't even know why I'm so mad anymore but I've committed to this too much and I'm taking it out on everyone. It's going to ruin my career, ruin my marriage, ruin my kids and just fuck up my life. I can't stop myself. Someone give me some insight. Why am I doing this and how can I stop?
are you getting attached or being overly dependent on her for entertainment/enjoyment in life?

Not as much entertainment but she's become such a big part of my daily routine that her absence felt like I was missing a limb, she was always there and filled that void. I was happy when she was around, made life worth living then when she bailed it was back to what I was like before I met her, alone, bored, living a repetitive life, except now with that void of "there was something, but now there's nothing and I want it again"
yep, thats being overly dependent.

Those are the types of emotions you get when you've been with (read: married to) the same girl for 10+ years
This really doesn't make sense. Why are you doing this to me? I am happy now, and I don't see why you have to ruin that. What gives you the right to control me? You are the one that ended things between us. And it's been too long to say that what I have now is just a rebound. I was always against the belief that you have to love yourself before you can love others, but that was before you. You could have been happy if you just stayed with me, but you tried to find happiness somewhere else. Look where that's gotten you. Did you think any of those guys cared for you? That they would give you happiness? I'd feel more sorry for you if I didn't pity you. That's because you caused me so much suffering, while you seemed to go on merry way. But it really just seems you're feeling that pain now, instead of back then. For whatever reason you feel the need to be a petty bitch, just quit it. Instead of just going through this cycle of misery and taking others down with you, get some help. I'll be there for you, because I value you as a friend. And I want to still be friends. I don't hate you for what you did then and what you are doing now. Let's end this shit here, okay?
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I think I'm on the autism spectrum every doctor I try to book an appointment with never gets back to me.
I'm the first guy. No, we saw each other once or twice a week and she initiated most of the dates.
Have you approached any therapists or psychologists?
Is that a good or a bad thing when someone becomes something like that to you?

Its not like I wanted to feel that way, she just texted me every time she could, I even told her that if she needs time for herself its ok with me, but she insisted its ok and that she likes talking to me so we did, all day, every day, like she wanted. We dated, she liked me, had no reason to believe otherwise, she'd always message me, she got me to use snapchat for the first time in my life so she could stay in touch even more. I feel like its my fault it ended because I was overly dependent, but wasn't she as well?
Might be the opposite problem then. She might have just gotten bored, idunno.

Girls are different than guys. They crave attention and validation. So she might have just been using you for that while doing other things... Same thing happened to me when I was younger.
I manipulate people for no reason and most of the time it's for no gain. I don't know why I do this.
>So she might have just been using you for that while doing other things...
possibly yeah, I thought about it while trying to figure out what went wrong. I usually accept when I fuck up and try to learn from it but this experience was different, I honestly could not figure out what happened, her attitude just went from 'yes' to 'no' over night and just kept like it for 2 weeks or so, during which she kept saying how she still can't believe she found a guy like me, still tried to get to know me and all that, I honestly thought she liked me so I wasn't sure what was going on. I thought at some stage that the fear of getting into a relationship scared her and she wanted to bail, possible too, she seemed like the type, she often literally run away from her problems, she was super shy and awkward. I guess women will forever be a mystery to me, you never know what they want and if you don't give it to them they leave with no closure
I have a psychologist that I visit every four months or so. I could probably get them sooner or try to find a another autism place
I feel breaking inside.

I have two parents that do not love me. My mother told me when I was 8 she wished to have aborted me, so that she'd not end up married to my father.

My father told a 11-years-old-me that when he looks at me, he feels disgust as I am the reminder that he knockedc up and had to marry my mom.

Guess what, they are still together, in a house that is not a "home" for me. They keep telling me I'm pathetic and useless to society, although I graduated from highschool with the best possible grade and I'm attending university. These days I just wish they did abort me.

Is it really too much for them to try and treat me like their son? Why do they only do keep me around to just mess with me? Am I really worth less than anybody else?

I wonder if fate is really set and there's a reason as to why I am the son of two psychopaths. For all the things they did not give me, for every time they humiliate me, I alternate between what I feel like is depression to straight hated for them.

I just have no idea if keep on living is really worth it, knowing nobody, especially my parents, is going to ever really make me feel happy.
I avoided you that night because you looked so gorgeous, and I was afraid if we talked I'd feel something for you again.

We hadn't spoken in so long, and you never reached out, so I was really surprised to hear from you days later. You told me I didn't have to avoid you.

I couldn't have known you wanted me to talk to you.
You couldn't have known that later that night, I went back to that bar to speak to you, to clear things up, but by that point, you were already gone.

The thing is, by the time you reached out to me, I'd already left town. And on my way back to our city, I crashed my motorcycle.

I didn't make it back to our city until a month later, only to learn you'd left for good.

How much did we miss out on? Can we just...get things right, for once?
I really just want to scream. Scream with such a fury I finally collapse within myself. I've been drifting in a blur. I waited 25 minutes in the sprinkles when my ride was supposed to be there 25 minutes prior. I am not a defeaning score so I really don't matter. Had I been a chemical my ride home would have been on time or early. I don't matter. I give all of myself just to have it spewed like asphalt into my face. I am not thought of very often, I am background noise and the occassional walking jerk off tool. I hate feeling like this. I think the number 7 will be my new unlucky number, I'll have to retire the 3. I don't know why I bother with anything anymore, fate just likes to piss in my cornflakes and call it a day. There will be no happy ending here just misery if I stay. No kids, no future, just chemicals and emptiness. ...(contin)
>They keep telling me I'm pathetic and useless to society
Don't listen to them. Ignore. That's the best advice i can give you.

>knowing nobody is going to ever really make me feel happy.
That came out of left field. There is no way you can know that.
I like winter so much more than any other time of the year. At least during the winter there is a chance the heater will breakdown and pump the house full of carbon monoxied, killing me in my sleepp.

All I want is to go to sleep and never wake up again.

Supposedly, I got this very thing at least once. I OD'ed on adderall and died in my sleep but you fucking pricks brought me back.

I will never forgive you for that.
You should rig the heater to do that. Don't rely on chance.
(Contin). Sorry really need to rant for my own sanity. At one point in time I thought I loved him, then I just faded farther into the background. I think that's why I gave up on everything, when someone treats you as if you are some shitty second place Cracker Jack prize it breaks you down. The past 6 months or so I have been uber depressed. I can't maintain a deep sleep, constantly sick as all get out, nothing excites me anymore. I'm tired of being told how to live and function then sacrificing everything I have while the only thing that seems to be worthwhile to them is to be embedded in a cloud of smoke. On top of that someone I haven't seen in forever who I think highly of makes an appearance and I think I'm losing my flipping mind again. Are you even real son? I can't formulate an actual conversation with you since I can't determine it's you. (Contin)
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I've been falling out of love lately.
I like spending time with my gf cause I've never opened up so much with anyone before, she helped me out of my shyness.
But when i look at her i feel nothing now. Also, i can't bear her when she says she hates herself yet she does nothing to change.

Meanwhile I've began developing an obsession with one of her friends, like i fantasize about taking her out and shit like that, not that i will ever even write her though.

I think I should leave my girlfriend but I don't want her to suffer. On a more egotistical note, I don't wanna be alone again.

What the hell am i supposed to do?
seriously, I am just waiting for death.

You people can do it so fucking easily for me. You're snipers for fuck's sake, just fucking shoot me. AT any time, just fucking do it.

It's what I want.

I don't want to be saved. I want to fucking die.
(Contin). I just want to gain my reprieve and come out of this invisible box I've been held in for so long. I've wasted so much time and energy chasing the wrong things because I can't forgive myself for the shitty things I've done. End rant I am emotionally and mentally exhausted, I feel a tad bit better, thank you adv.
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I really wanted to like and be interested in people. I managed to grow to like people, but I'm just not interested in them. Even when I get to know them really well, I find no interest in them. When you boil the average person down to their most basic emotions, we're all the same. On a sociological level, we're all the same.

On the other hand, I've become interested in how other people behave in different cultures. For example, like how Latin Americans are extremely friendly towards each other and highly value family, or the collectivist nations in southeast Asia, or the how much Italians love food.
I don't know whether to draw you girls with vajayjays or dicks.

What the fuck is even the world.
I wish you would've been willing to actually talk and hear how I really felt instead of jumping the gun and inventing how you thought I felt, I wish you would have been open to listening about my struggles too so you could've better understood me as I always did for you. I wish that opportunist who wedged in and made things worse to get what he wanted didn't exist. Nothing has been enjoyable since you left, my god it has been months yet it worse than day one. I wish you were here and we could have a talk face to face. Even if my medical situation causes my issues to be significantly worse than yours, I am sorry about all the pain you are going through and I hope you feel better soon. Oh and happy birthday.
I wonder if people really follow the shitty bitter relationship advice given on this board.
Why would someone listen to some circle-jerk-cringelord-beta-fags?
Because as bad as some of the advice given is here, it is just as bad as mainstream advice. No one under thirty-five should give relationship advice honestly.
Hey, what's up. It's been what, 5 years since we broke up?? God damn. I mean I've been over you in those 5 years, probably like 6 months after the break up. I guess I'm bringing myself up because I never got over the embarassment I put you and myself through like a month or 2 after you dumped me. Well I did get over it, it just took me longer and kinda affected me in a fucked up way. I wanted to apologize for it, but not really. You were crappy to me, and that's ok. We were teens, practically kids. I'm not angry at you, I just thought you should know that. I always blamed you for my insecurities and also always tried to forgive you. Never did I think there was a middle ground. I fucked up a lot too, I'm not gonna lie. I just wanted to let you know that you were important to my development, and I have no reason to feel uncomfortable around you anymore. I mean, I haven't seen you since. Bumped into you twice but didn't stop to talk. After a year or two though, randomly todat, you crossed my mind. And nothing triggered the thought, your name.just popped up. It made me happy because it gave me the sign that my insecurities weren't there anymore. I'm not shy, im not nervous. I never should have hated you in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be your friend. If you want to, I'm okay with that. Even as an acquaintance, but I don't really care about that. It's been so long and we're both probably different people at this point, so I don't really care much. I hope you're doing ok. You probably already knew you weren't a terrible person, and not that my opinion matters, but you're not a terrible person. Thank you for contributing to my personal growth.

Wait, I just remembered. Fuck you for talking shit for no reason years after. I didn't even mention you once and you swear like you were the victim. I didn't do shit to you and you were still a slut behind my back and pretended to be a victim. I lost some cool friends and I miss them, thats why I hate you.
I gave you one last chance not to be a creep
and you threw it away.

fuck you for giving them attention as me.
that's exactly what they wanted.
you dumb fucking idiot.
Just put in my 2 weeks at a job I started less than a month ago; soon I'll be a NEET again.

I feel like a loser because I'm basically saying I can't do it and will likely have to go back to retail despite having a degree. At least I'm SO much of a loser there's hardly anyone to disappoint. I have only 1 friend and even he wouldn't be around if I didn't put 90% of the effort into it.
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My gf is a klutz.
She bumps into things, falls down often.
As long as she isn't seriously hurt I find it cute. My only issue is that she takes it bad.
It puts her in such a foul mood because she feels like she's weak.
I don't judge her on falling. Just wish she wouldn't tear herself down so much.
I am gay.
There are 4,573 students at my school.
Males make up roughly 40% of this number, meaning there are approximately 1,829 people I could be attracted to at this school.
Let's say I'm actually only attracted to a third of these guys, which leaves us with 609.
About 4% of American males are gay or bisexual, so out of the 609 men I'm attracted to at this school, there's about 24 who are gay.
I'm fairly average looking. I would estimate that about one in ten people find me attractive.
That leaves me with roughly 2 guys I would be attracted to, who would be attracted to me, at this school.
Now, among these two men, what would be the likelihood of actual compatibility? I want a long-term relationship, after all. I want someone who I can be comfortable with, and share memories with, and actually spend time with, instead of just fuck occasionally.
What are the chances? Slim. I am a senior. I will be graduating soon. I have found no one. I will probably graduate a virgin. How do I deal with this realization?
Oh dad

You destroyed my confidence and trust in literally anyone for 6 years. Because of that I haven't had friendships last longer than 2 years and I withdraw from anything I do after some success shows because I'm afraid the headhoncho of whatever I'm doing will tell me to stop even tho I'm doing good. I've tried telling you for the past 6 years about this. You always told me it was bullshit and I thought you were right but 5 years of trying to convince myself it was bullshit didn't work out so it's not bullshit man. I wish you would just give me time and get to know me. Man I didn't plan on crying while typing this. You're only downstairs but I feel closer to friends I've known for less than a year. I love you dad.
I want to kill myself because I'm not functional but through starvation because I'm a wimp. Thanks for not teaching me anything besides how to evade taxes dad. Fuck you. I wish I had an active dad. One that would sit with me and teach me how to be a man, not one that would tell me he's always tired so we never go out so I stop asking you to do things then you notice and you start asking me so I say sure but we never do it so I stop saying yes then you get mad because I always say no and I tell you it's because you never pull through and you say to stop judging you. Fuck you dad.

Fuck me I'm not right in the head.
Fuck you mom for never standing up for what you believe in and teaching my sister to be submissive even when her partner cheats on her she stays because she learned from you that the man is always right. Fuck you dad for cheating on mom. Fuck all of us. I'm not going to have kids just to take our genes out of the gene pool and I hope my sister goes sterile so we all just stop here. Fuck this world.
Sigh. I just want affection. I ain't gonna do shit with my life. I'm gonna go take a warm shower now. Glad all this shit is anonymous.

I think I raped you, and I haven't had a full night of sleep in months.

Please let's talk.

Fuck, dude. Nothing can happen because one of us is taken and also we live super far from each other, but I've got such a crush on you. You're really cool and fun and a genuinely nice person, and while I don't wish any ill for either of us, if we both found ourselves single the next time we hang out at an event or something, that would be kind of great.

don't want to make a thread

I've gotten with the fat friend of a friend's girlfriend half a dozen times, and I'm like candy for shy, less attractive girls in my classes for some reason. I always think they must just think I'm in their league or something when I get attention. I should probably be grateful, reading some of the posts here, but honestly it makes me feel like such a literal beta male. It's like mopping the floor of the dating pool. I'm so depressed about it. I know I have a shitty personality btw just tell me how I get over my ego if you know.
I know you're not at peace with the situation with your ex and one of your best friends, even though you're trying to be cool and progressive and shit. We only interact as platonic friends, but we both know I'm way hotter than her, and while I'd have sex with you anyway just because I am attracted to you, I kind of want to hook up with you on a night where we all hang out and they'd know we went home together just so you can have a confidence boost that you deserve because fuck both your ex and your friend. If I get to the point where I think it wouldn't risk our friendship or cause unnecessary drama, I'd love to passively rub in her face for you how much better you can pull. And also just ride you because I'm definitely into it but again don't want to lose a cool friend over sex. Hm.
You should do what you feel is best
having probably the lowest week of my life. I literally made an appointment with a psychologist on Tuesday because I finally think I might not be able to get through without help.

Today: Fucking total'd my car on the way home from work. It just doesn't end...
Lead by example, my man. Whenever you're clumsy in front of her, laugh it off. Laugh when she's a klutz too. Get her to see the humor in it.
What I really should say is that Im drunk/stoned as shit and can't come over tonight instead of lying to you and dodging you.

We broke up, but Whats even more shitty is that I said id be here for you at any time, and here you are struggling with finals and your brother being arrested and all this stuff.

I'm just still hung up on the fact that I was left out in the cold for a month there while you fucked around and dated other guys, and then on a whim decided you needed me back in your life.

I'm just a piece of shit down to the core, and Im sorry it effects you.
Gonna go cry myself to sleep now.

I don't know what to say, or if I should say anything at all. I was surprised to see you at my work today. Remember that night we kissed? You told me you have been in love with me since highschool. We laid together, and honestly, it was a great comfort to me, but it saddens me knowing I can't be with you with this darkness surrounding you. Remember that night I laid against you on that couch in the car port, us gazing upwards at the night sky dotted with a thick blanket of stars? I miss the nights where it was just the two us after a long night of drinking. I miss you throwing all caution to the wind and baring your soul to me. Lightly kissing my neck, clasping my hands in your own. You're so hard to read, and I've always felt it best to give you space, because I fear you've put me on a pedestal and I'll never live up to who you think I am. I love you too, E., and I hope you find true happiness. I yearn for those nights you write about in a journal the next day, even hoping to relive them in the veil of dreamless sleep.

I also yearn to have that goofy, strange, and entirely endearing boy from highschool back, always drawing those funny little Kirby drawings that made me laugh.

I know it's not you talking when you're not entirely yourself. I hope that one you can have a conversation with me about all of this.

That little affectionate scratch on my stomach you gave me today was reassuring.

I know the end is near, and I know people are giving up on me. Im an alcoholic drug-addicted neurotic mess, and its really just a shame how many people ive disappointed.
Get out of my dreams!
Why must you haunt my thoughts?
Why am I so jealous?
Why am I so possessive?
We aren’t dating anymore, yet I keep trying with a facade of closeness.
I’ll never be able to stop loving you, never ever.
I just told my dad I want to leave his family business. At the same time I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm pretty sure he hates me at this point. I have to apply for uni but I can't figure out what to pursue. I have an immense feeling of dread weighing me down anytime I think about the future
I know you're gone but It's so hard to forget who you are and how much you meant to me.
buying and wearing cute clothes are the only things that make me happy

i get irrationally angry (mostly at myself) when i see people who are less cute living happier lives and being okay with themselves. a lot of the people in my niche community look up to me for my looks and fashion sense but i'm bitter and have no friends.
No you get out of mine!
Sorry not gonna happen anytime soon.
I just want a quiet life. I don't care about money, I don't care about being high-status, I don't care about a car with working air conditioning, I don't care about having a beautiful wife, I don't care that I've never had sex, I don't care that I haven't hugged someone or held someone's hand. I don't care. Stop making excuses for me. Quit saying "I just haven't found what I want to do" yet. You don't seem to understand that I have no passions or goals or determinations. I have no drive. I have no desire. I have needs, but I have no wants. Oh wait, yes I do, I want you to leave me alone. I don't care that I got into university on a full ride and blew it because the people there annoyed me. It didn't make me happy attending. I lost fifty pounds and couldn't sleep because of university. The incessant chattering of children made it impossible for me to find my calm. The noise, the pollution, the heat, the bright lights, the way those children dressed, it was a lucid fever dream that reminded me of how much I hate the city. I want a farm. I can't buy the land. Get a degree to buy a farm? Catch 22, isn't it? The world has changed, and I haven't been able to adapt to it. I feel so alone. Billions of people all around me, and yet I feel so isolated, trapped by invisible walls, cut off from people who can see things the way that I do. Perhaps I'm the one who's blinded, and if that's the case, how would I ever know, when no one talks to me, or is willing to converse with me? I didn't choose to have such a condescending tone. I didn't choose to have the psychopathic eyes. I DID choose to buckle down on what I believe, because everyone else seems so quick to change their Wikipedia opinions.

Just leave me alone. It's the only time I'm happy.
Don't be sorry. I actually don't mind :)
I'm falling in love with a theoretical physicist.

God damn is she smart and cute. CUUUTTTEEEEE.
man...so much pain in your post anon.
I can relate to some.

>Perhaps I'm the one who's blinded, and if that's the case, how would I ever know, when no one talks to me, or is willing to converse with me?

its sad to say this this but if you dont put yourself out there then the world forgets you my friend.

I say so because I used to isolate myself and wondered why no one noticed me.

there are people like you out there man, but you gotta reach out man. and in your search you will get disappointed because there are many shallow people out there you will confuse for a good friend or companion but dont let that discourage you.

if nothing else than I hope that dream on the farm works out for you and I hop that when it does it really is what you want.

smile anon. god in his ultimate wisdom saw it fit that we will not do this forever.
post pics

>"leave me alone"
>doesn't leave him alone

Part of me feels bad about how well this played out because I'm shocked by my level of execution with only a fraction of my actual time spent on organizing my thoughts. Granted it took some patience, careful planning, and heartache, but I know you so well that it was was fairly easy to predict what you'd do.

You can throw whatever names and any and all of the rumors you'd like (it certainly has never stopped you before with anyone) but I think we know who's the winner here. Your opinion couldn't be more compromised or irrelevant to me.
Don't fuck with me and don't belittle me - especially when I've literally done nothing but support you, backstabber. You may be able to look over all of your problems and deflect any criticism with empty critiques of projection (btw if you actually read psychology you'd know how that works) but I can see right through you and quite clearly. It is sad. I used to find myself really isolated and saw in you a brotherly and kindred spirit I didn't have in my life but you threw it all away. And for what? Your ego and bringing your weird obsession with control and power into our friendship.

This is the last time I ever let another person stop me from completing my goals. If you don't get it, it's literally over your head, pleb. Better luck next time.
Nigga sit your ass back down. We playing 32D chess over here. By the way it's your move.
Depressed, overweight ugly and poor.

Where the fuck do I even start?

I just want some friends and maybe my first girlfriend.

I do want to improve but I have no willpower. I attempt everything and end up failing 24/7.

If anyone gives a shit I'll explain my situation better.
its almost 3:30am, I just cried my eyes out to her on the phone. I just hope I can see her again before she goes to Portland for break.

We were supposed to hangout tonight but im a fuckup, get lost in my head, nap to feel better, woke up about an hour ago to dozens of missed calls and texts.

We broke up for a minute a while ago, got back together a bit, but im just trying to go at a snails pace to not get hurt again, but at the same time the worse way possible. I don't return calls, messages, anything like she did when she distanced herself from me for a while before we broke up. The stuff that fucked me up.

Just cant help but to feel like a piece of shit. I am, and I use selfish coping mechanisms/forms of escape to run from stuff I need to face as a real adult. This is some of the shit they don't tell you about when you're a kid. Jobs and school are one things but just simply being a decent human being who is there for people you care about cant be preached enough.

There is some light, miniscule amounts of hope, but fully take half the responsibility of this thing falling apart.
I give a shit but I really don't need anymore info. Start with your weight before anything. Don't worry about failing just get back to it when you do.

These are going to be your herculean trials anon, remember to be patient.
As someone who has been there, the truth will come out and odds are she is the one who will tell him. You should probably start preparing for the fallout now because when that bomb drops shit is going to get real.
Hey JC Ray,

Here's the next letter that you'll never receive. Thought about you quite a bit on the way home tonight, about how I was gonna ask you to dinner this weekend. I doubt you'll say yes. I think about you all the time desu. I still don't know how everything got so fucked between us. Me and M are cool now so why can't we be? You said you still wanted to be friends and I told you I would try my damndest but you aren't holding up your end. You didn't even respond to that meme I sent you which is dumb because it was super relatable for you. I guess I should take the hint and just leave you alone but I can't. You're one of the few things in life that puts me in a spot where I don't hate myself. I still have that weird connection to you where I can sense you and your feelings, even from this far. I wish I didn't. Maybe you still do too which is why you're pushing me so far away. M seems like he's in a better mood lately. I wonder if you two ever talk about me. Reckon y'all don't. I'm not worth the exhaled breath. Hit it off with a new girl tonight, ain't gonna take it anywhere because of how I feel about you though. I should, but I just can't do it. You occupy every facet of everything I do. I work to make money so I can maybe take you out. I'm applying to that job because I want to see you more. I'm not smoking anymore because I don't want to make you look bad. You're so deep in me that I couldn't get you out without surgery. Please, just say yes. I'm begging you, tears in my eyes, say yes. Even just as friends, I need you.
Forever yours,

The current track on my mind is Oh Sherry by Journey. I know, it's not your name, but it's how I feel. If you say yes, we're going to that pool hall after and I'm playing that Elvis track. You know the one your dad sang to your mom?
R I don't think I can do this.
Like I can't just talk to you like this. I love you and we talk and it makes me remember when we went on dates and it hurts.
I don't know why you don't think I'm good for the long term, we have a lot in common, I care about you, am looking for someone to settle down with, and would always support you.
I just want to hold you and kiss you and be with you and make you the happiest man in the world.
But the fact is that you don't like me like that and I can't just keep hoping that you will.
I love you. I love you I love you I love you. I really just want to hold you and say that.
But it's not going to happen and is just dragging me down. You are not interested in me and I am getting my hopes up like you might change your mind.
I need to move on.
I'm sorry R.
I don't know if I have depression or just lazy but I'm having ect therapy regardless. And also I'm about to eat my own cum because I'm to lazy to cum into toilet paper.
you are cynical and depressed because you are stupid and self-absorbed.
You could you masturbate online with someone. Its alright.
I miss you Shah, you weren't the only positive thing on my life but you were up there. Hope your life is a good and wholesome one
Protein retention.
I've gotten used to playing guitar so often that now, that I've moved out for college and couldn't bring my rig with me, I feel like I'm getting withdrawals, playing usually boosts my self esteem and makes my anxiety go away.

I can't play in my room because I play loud and my roommates wouldn't want me playing in the house. Tried finding people with a garage or something so we could jam, but everyone has the same problem as me
You said "I did my best" like it instantly makes you a better person and forgives every harm that you caused. No, it doesn't work like that. You can't call someone else ugly when you lied to them for YEARS, when you hid shit for YEARS. I'm not a saint, far from it. I make mistakes by the tons, but people try and learn from them. I tried to atone for them. You? You kept lying and cheating, over and over. And you will again, don't fool yourself. Everytime you did it, you promised it wouldn't happen again, only for a couple of years to go by and there we were, in the same situation as before.

Just stop and look at our behavior. I've done nothing but apologize for the past year, and you did nothing but blame me for the most random and mundane shit. I guess you did accept my apologies at first and you said you forgave me, only to later spit poison at me. Can we, for a second, pretend we're not being childish and just move on? Please? It's tiring and for some reason your opinion of me is really important, even though logically it shouldn't matter. I'm discarding reason and pride for this. Try to see the good in me too, the same good you used to see and..please let me know. It hurts being branded bad or evil, specially when it's not deserved. I did some nasty shit in the past, but we can't just go "welp i tried!!" and just pretend it magically solves everything. Because let's not forget, I tried too and if this means redemption, I should be canonized.
All of you are amazing. I don't deserve to even be acquainted with any of you. Sometimes I don't even feel like I deserve to exist in the same universe. And none of you deserve being around a piece of shit like me. I keep you all at a distance because I don't want to be a burden to you, but at the same time I hold the selfish wish to grow closer. I want to cut ties so I dont fuck everything up and make you hate me like I know I eventually and inevitably, but you all make me so happy and I want to be around you no matter what. I don't know what I should do. I want to become a decent person that deserves your company, but I don't know where to start. I'm not even sure if that's something I can achieve.
Maybe its a parasitic view but what I found is the more 'good' people you spend time around the more you absorb the good traits/qualities. Hard to improve yourself but in a tiny way you are gonna keep improving as a person if you stay with these people.

Also if you should drop out of contact with them, which you shouldn't bank on cos its a self fulfilling kinda thing, you'll still have gained something from the time you did spend with them.
You said this to me months after we split and I was caught up in my own bullshit. If you could say this now it'd mean the world and I know you won't.
Oh shit. This just gave me the biggest realisation.
I still want my ex back. For a split second, I wished you were her.
Wanna be friends?
Just got screwed on this really great opportunity to go to NYC with a bunch of school mates for a few days. Couldn't go because cold and flu season had to come and say hi to me just a few days before everyone left.
Now I'm here mad at myself cause I missed this only chance of an opportunity due to something out of my control. And I feel like I'm becoming this identity of a person who can't do anything fun because he gets sick all the time. Though I try to be happy for my friends that went, I can't help feel horrible that it seems like my life is structured this way.
Then I guess I should just die then. Yeah, sounds about right. It makes sense. It was evident from the day I was born. That damn demon done tricked me again. He got me good. He legitimately tricked me once again into thinking that he'd leave me alone, and let me live happy.

I'm somewhat acceptant of this, yet at the same time, very sad. I really wanted a good life you know. That illusion was a very nice one.
(Same person here)

I'll just post the parts of "Suicide is Painless" that I remember.

> (something something) That I can see
> That suicide is painless
> It brings on many changes
> And I can take or leave it if I please

> The game of life is hard to play
> I'm gonna lose it anyway
> (some more shit about losing)

> (Something about the sword of time piercing us)

> (Old man asked me) Is it to be or not to be
> And I replied "Oh why ask me?"

> Suicide is painless (Suiciiiide)
> It brings on many changes (Changeeees)
> And I can take or leave it if I please

> Heeeheheheeheeeyyyy
> Suicide is painless
> It brings on many changes
> And I can take or leave it if I please
> And you can take or leave it if you please
Here, pretty.

Matthew 7:6
Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.
Now if only I wasn't such a pussy I would love to end it all and never let another person disappoint me again
I think this overzealous feeling of self-importants stems from something psychologically more sinister.

Plus, I wouldn't want you as a consultant to a game developer, don't want to miss out out good games because of your shit taste.
You oughtta learn not to psychoanalyze people with your armchair bullshit. You read a couple books, good for you. Want to be a psychiatrist? Go to fucking school you poser.
No friends is good
No friends is good
No friends is good
No friends is good
No friends is good
No friends is good
I wonder if people actually read the letters in these threads or if we all just come here to vent our bullshit and call it a day.
Also, you're a fucking hypocrite. You posted a status crying about someone spreading a secret of yours without an ounce of self-awareness.

And I know I'm not the only one who's been a victim of your loose lips. At least I can tell your ex you're planning on letting a guy rape him.
Aw I read em all. Not sure if everyone catches my replies but I dig so much that people share their various grievances in a time where there's no real outlet.
Personally, I take comfort knowing my C isn't lurking here. It lets me vent a fuckton, as my thirsts are just rising for her.

That being said, I worry sometimes about her just waltzing in here, lurking
Aw dev, was replying to you >>18795192

Some people do find solace in realizing they aren't the only ones with the similar issues or some glee club "we're all in this together" type of way so maybe.
I love you
You hurt me
I love you
You hurt me
I love you
You hurt me
You hurt me
You hurt me
I read them, why don't you?
Dunno if this kind of jealousy to my older brother are justified or not, I'm in my mid 20's

I come from wealthy family, I'll soon have a high paying job straight out of college, an overachiever (in languages mostly, I'm a polyglot) and people said that I have very good work ethic, disciplines, independence, very responsible, and a very nice person

I often help my parents voluntarily in their business and personal life because they're very pleasant people, and they often discuss many things with me to gain some insight from younger generations while giving me many great life advices, I also take roles as their physical and emotional care taker since they’re starting to become old

Meanwhile my older brother is already in his second college and almost failing (dropped out of his first college), in his early 30's, irresponsible, zero work ethic, often ask for hefty sum of money periodically to party and enjoy life, doesn't even help or take care my parents voluntarily once in a while, no job, and give my parents big unnecessary consumer debt

A big part of what made me to have better personalities are because my parents almost never give me any special treatments and rarely give me any empathy, unlike my brother who is heavily empathized and given special treatments even if he’s at fault

I never expect any inheritance, but I do know that I’ll get almost none because I’m the responsible and caring one, I don’t mind though

Not hating my parents because I learn much from them and they do love me, but seeing the difference of the extent of their efforts to empathize with my brother compared to for me still make my heart hurts a little, even though I think I'm the one who put in actual effort to love and take care of them, but on the other hand their unfair (?) treatments of me do actually make me a better person

Life is weird
also, my parents said that they'll consider my brother to be the ones inheriting their wealth because he's the one who need help and isn't independent and self reliant enough

i don't really care about their wealth, but i do care about these kind of unfair treatments once in a while
Your fat pig chink wife thinks she's a model.which is really pathetic when she is severely ugly as fuck. Tell the obese lazy bitch to fuck off and get a job because her ugly face is disgusting to look at you massive retard.

Ps keep slaving away for money like the pig fucker you are loser.
I really don't know how to turn my life around, fuck, I'm done. I tried anyway, but... you know... it has been a pleasure. My lovable S. I love you more than everything, but I don't want to be a weight for you. Circumstances are against us, odds are against us. I'm going away before you get attached to me for real. I promise that in the next life, next time around, I will marry you.
Sorry I forgot some things

One of main reasons for me to become an overachiever with very good personalities and succeeding in life are because I sometimes just wish they praise or at least appreciate what I can do a little more, I already stopped wishing to be praised or appreciated though

Sorry if this is too long or I sound like a pussy, I don't know where I can post this kind of shit
I'm 23 and I'm worse at dealing with stress when it involves my family ect then when I was 16.

I get headaches almost immediately and I can't just focus on something else like a book or video games to take my mind off it.

I've started whining and this is a part of it.

How do I go back to just letting this shit slide past me again

I know how you feel, my brother is a legit meth addict in prison and my parents can't stop raving about how much progress he's making.

For 10 fucking years from 10 to 20 I had to live in a house with this psycho constantly stealing my and other peoples shit while I worked my ass off trying to just be fucking normal while my parents constantly punished me for my brothers behaviour. Shit like "WE GAVE HIM TOO MUCH FREEDOM SO YOU CANT DO THIS" while constantly shitting on any achievement I did do because "well you could do better" while anything my brother got was treated as the holy grail.

I found it best to just get this shit off my chest and come to terms with the fact your parents will always just like you less because you were born later
I really shouldn't do this. There's too many reasons. I posted once here already but it was lacking; the vent didn't help simply because it doesn't actually work, or I simply put just did not voice what bothers me in the right way. I pretyped this in word and quite possibly might take up more than one post. That is if I even post it.

How do I even start. I'm on a wheelchair for all my life, spinal muscle atrophy. Out of all my siblings, all older than me up to 10 years, all healthy, walking and physically quite active (two work as firefighters, one's a builder), I am the only one that had complications on birth. This is where it starts, I am unlucky; it's not genetics that fucked me over, but birth complications, something that could be fully avoided, but wasn't. Even right now as I am typing this up I am coming up with different thoughts about this topic, finding a new way to look at it all. I feel like I am not the person I was supposed to be, that I'm a mistake, one huge mistake.
As if a defect from the production line that also happened to not be casted away from the belt so I came out the way I am. I am not nearly as driven as everyone else in my position, I don't try to find ways to overcome my shortcomings, I don't study hard, I don't work at all. Often when I see people like me, or even in much worse situations, doing things as if they're not hindered, I wonder why I am not the same. And really, the answer is just that; I am a mistake. I really, really cannot describe the way I feel every day, or when I am writing this. Not really anger, not really sadness at this point, maybe not even disappointment, but not 'nothing' either. It's like, this 'void' type of thing that just makes me go through day and day again. I have no real prospects to live out a full life; I'm 20, 21 soon. Deformed and underwhelming, my lethargy has gotten to the point where even the things I like doing I'd prefer to delay. I'm just lazy, overweight thing of a person. I want this text to have sense, to be readable but as I go typing away, there's more and more that I want to write, to the point where I fear that it will be just a mess. I still want to feel, love and experience live the way I feel like I was meant to, but I got a small dick, live in quite the rural area so no girl would share my pc/internet oriented interests and long distance relationship just further makes my existence laughable because there's no reason to stick with me. I know that I shouldn't love, I know this, it hurts, but I am accepting it all, I accept the fact that I am supposed to be alone. It hurts, very, but I have to. I have to because I don't want to chain anyone else's ankles with myself.
I'm just that, a weight. Often people are simply put blinded by their own depression and despair. Fair, true, it might even be in my case. But I live like this for 20 years, I realized the actual, greater picture of my existence for about 4. I am a ball chained to ankles of those that love, take care of me, who live with me. I love my mother, but I see how much trouble I am to her, how much better and easier it would be if she didn't have me. Every single day it becomes harder for her to take care of me. I am bound to a wheelchair, but not due to paralyzation. My atrophy continues advancing, it doesn't stop. I cannot raise my elbows above my shoulder, extending my arms is something I don't remember the last time I did. I cannot shift my position on the wheelchair to be more comfortable. Cannot make food, I have problems with eating as my swallowing is weak and more often I have troubles even holding the spoon. Toilet and just... everything, I cannot do myself. I'd die in filth if it wasn't for her. And all I give back in return is pain and suffering. I don't do anything, I am not like the others that try to make best out of their situation. All I do is just sit in front of the pc, trying not to call for her attention as much as I can so she doesn't have to deal with me too often. But each night is pain. I am a shallow sleeper on top of it all, I don't fall asleep until late, this means I have to roll about, and I can't do that. I have to sleep with her as she's the only one that know how to fix my pajamas if it twists, or how to set me up on the bed. This is with everything, instead of calling anyone else for help, I torture her. I don't want to do it, but I do it anyway. Then there's my imagination. Oh god, I don't know why I am doing this. All I can do is sit, type, talk and think. And thinking kills me, I like to think that I have a decent imagination, but it's a bane.
Not once, anything that I imagine, that I dream, ends nicely. I cannot find a good situation for myself. Every single time I imagine myself getting ahead, finally finding someone that truly doesn't mind me, my imagination ruins it, just like that, as if with a snap of a finger. I am not good at anything, every single person I meet outshines me in things I thought I was at least, above average. I have no reason to keep at anything, I am talentless, literally talentless on top of it all. My english (I'm not a native speaker) is not that good, my hands are shaky so I cannot do any manual tasks that aren't intensive as is. I suck at math and other scientific topics. I'm just simply not what I feel like I should've been. Everyone tells me that if it wasn't for the wheelchair, I'd be tall as fuck. I went off topic again against my fears and I really don't want to redo the text again, I don't think I'd be able to write what I am writing again. I am already crying and trying to hide it.
I am in so much pain. It hurts to exist, it hurts to just 'be' because my only reason to exist is to be a problem for everyone else around me. I'd ask for help but I already strained whoever is reading this. I don't want anyone else feel like their problems are less than mine. So I shouldn't be posting this to begin with. But I just... I don't know. I just did this, even though, multiple times. I said to myself I wouldn't. I cannot kill myself, that's impossible; I am constantly supervised, there's always someone in the house and anything that I could use to ff myself is more often than not, out of my range. And I am too weak willed to do it painfully. I considered getting hit by a car, drowning, but I cannot do any of those. I am too weak, I am bound to this hell my what damns me to begin with. The thing due to that I want to kill myself also prevents me from escaping it. I cannot do anything else but suffer. I'd ask for help, but it's a wasted effort. Just how I am a waste. This didn't really say or describe how I feel, but I wrote so much, I might as well post it and try to live as if nothing happened.
Why do you get so heated over weird, miniscule things like that sometimes? You don't have to play every game in a series to be allowed to use a general on /vg/. I'm not uninterested in that series just because I wasn't able to play some of the games years ago. I'm not completely unfamiliar with the older characters. Why do you have an issue with me going there?
Why do you feel like you can't turn your life around.
New phone who this?

I feel like I've lost all the good chances. Job market is the real evil, I am depressed by now, and I've become slow, I cannot jump anymore on the good trains.
I'm almost 20 and recently got fired from my job and dropped out of my 3rd semester of college which might stay that way for a while until I learn how to be a more productive member of society that doesn't get depressed after making a series of mistakes that ultimately lead me down a path of self-destruction and stagnancy.
Everyone feels this way after they are defeated or they make a mistake in life but how you handle it will change your outcome. If you just wallow in your own pity you will continue to fail. If you do something about it first, you can feel bad later after you took care of your shit
I still wet the bed at 30yrs. Wish I knew why, or how to stop. I'm normal otherwise but who would ever want to deal with that? I hate it so good damn much.

Hey anon, you have my sympathies.
I can understand your situation, you are really in a tough spot. Please remember always that you're still a human being like everyone else and that you deserve love, respect and affection.
You don't have to be the best or even really good at something. I worked my ass off for a big project, scored #2 and got no gratification for it. It doesn't matter, though, because I achieved more than I thought I was able to. You say you have no imagination, but that's not true. You say you have a good imagination, are you able to draw? You could buy a tablet and start practising if you'd like that. You could also start writing.
Are there any topics you find interesting? Inform yourself, join a forum, discuss it with people. Do you have regular contact with people who are in the same situation as yourself? Are there suppport groups? I have a chronic disease myself and one of the most important things for me is to exchange my experiences with people who are in the same situation.

My best advice for you is probably to find a hobby you can pursue despite your disabilities and have contact with others as much as possible. Once you have something going for yourself, you'll feel a lot better.
Hope that helped a little..
I wasn't going to reply to any posts, I already overdid it with posting here, but you asked me directly a few questions I feel compelled to answer.

Anon, my arms feel tired when typing rather little for the rest of the day. I have even more trouble raising it; that wall of text caused my elbow to be exhausted. I cannot draw, my hands are shaky and my lethargy/apathy doesn't allow me to dedicate time to even try for real; there's no reason for it if you're talentless. And spare me the 'just work hard' sermon. I've heard it too many times and it's always nothing.

I am writing, but it's not working out. I want to be better, but there are barriers that I simply put cannot cross no matter how much I try because there are limits to everything. I was taught to be best or bust, I don't want to be mediocre, average, another joe among joes, but that is the case with everything. I don't keep myself in any support groups, I don't want to spread my problems over other people, they're already weighed down with their own stuff, I bottle it up although poorly as seen right now. I have friends over the net, where my situation largely doesn't matter, where it can be bypassed, I don't want to ruin that either and I always try to cut myself off from people I get too close with in a certain way, just so I don't vomit my problems over them. I don't want to ruin what little I have.

I play games, they're my hobby, my life, tabletop rpgs, all that things, that's what I am doing. But those lead to nowhere and I am not good enough to do anything worthwhile with them either. I am a talentless thing that shouldn't really be alive.

The worst thing about running away, is that you cannot run from yourself. This is the truth I am forced to live in, that I am less than what others are. I appreciate your try anon, I really do. But ultimately, you did nothing and me, with posting this, made things worse for you. As I always do.

I'm sorry.
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As a guy who has Asperger's Syndrom, I find my whole self to be handicapped and unable to believe in myself anymore.

For the only thing I seem to be good at and what gives me the little enthusiasm I have; games: I seem to be no good at them even after many years of following said hobby.

Yes, I am finishing my college degree, did my presentation of the subject I was charged with investigating,, and as soon as I finish college, I'll have a good place to work at alongside lawyers. I live alongside my family until I gain enough income to get a place of my own and become independent, and I rarely have any issues with anyone. You could say my life is pretty chill.

But I get no motivation about any of this.

Despite the good place of my life, everything I've tried to do on my own, or decisions/choices that I've done on my own, those have never ended well. Despite my tries and efforts to get any better at games, too, I never get to see positive results, or anything that shows I've done a significant progress, or anything that proves im not handicapped.

But nope. Generally, anything I decide to do or get better at, ends up in failure if I attempt to do it by myself. It's really painful for me to ask for help on anything at all, since I don't want to be "that helpless aspie", but the more I try to get back up, the more i ge thrown by my own mistakes. To the point of being unable to believe in myself anymore.

What should I do, then, after realizing nothing I ever do or try to improve goes well, and that i'm a lost cause permanently because of the asperg?
Don't beat yourself up so much. You are a hyper minority in comparison to most people on the spectrum. More than 85% cannot feed, bathe, or dress themselves. Most never go to university and pass. Hell 4% of people on the spectrum straight up get a brain tumor and die as children. A small but significant portion are non verbal too. You are doing fine.
I'm sorry if I come up as rude, but I do not think I am "doing fine" myself. It's true that my current state of life is as good as it can get, but that wasn't anything I did, or I had any influence over. I really don't want to be useless at everything I do, but the more I try stuff, the more I start to believe that because I'm on the spectrum, I'm doomed to stay an useless person with no motivation nor potential to improve because of permanent handicaps.

At this point, the talk about "believing in yourself" is highly put in doubt, since how can I believe in myself, a flawed social mess that screws up everything he does by himself?
>This is the truth I am forced to live in, that I am less than what others are.
Nah, you're not. You're just different.

>I don't keep myself in any support groups, I don't want to spread my problems over other people, they're already weighed down with their own stuff, I bottle it up although poorly as seen right now.
You've got the wrong idea. Support groups are specifically for "spreading your problems over other people". The point is that they'll do the same and you'll see that you are not alone with your problems in this world. Everyone there can relate, it helps you to connect to others and make new friends. It makes life easier for you and them, not harder.

>But ultimately, you did nothing and me, with posting this, made things worse for you. As I always do.
>I'm sorry.
Please don't. Your situation is a tough one and you shouldn't feel sorry for anybody. You're a good person, anon. It may sound like a meme, but I think you should open up more to other people. I mean, I read your posts and i cannot feel anything but sympathy for you, so why shouldn't others, too?
stay out of my dreams faggots. faggot nigger fuckers

Kill me.
please don't fuck it up, please don't fuck it up
I don't know how it happened but its been working so far so DO NOT fuck it up, please, for once just let me do the right thing and make it work
>Nah, you're not. You're just different.
This doesn't change anything. Different doesn't mean good, it doesn't mean bad either. It depends on person to person, and as much of an asshole I will sound right now, you are in no position to see what I am because this is just the internet and a few posts.

>You've got the wrong idea. Support groups are specifically for "spreading your problems over other people". The point is that they'll do the same and you'll see that you are not alone with your problems in this world. Everyone there can relate, it helps you to connect to others and make new friends. It makes life easier for you and them, not harder.

I don't want to do that. I am not interested in it, my problems are mine and mine alone. I don't want to seek help because I don't deserve any no matter how much I want it. You can say otherwise, you're allowed to do so, I am in no position to stop you, but you're wrong. I've spent 4 years, if not more really, thinking my position through.
>Please don't. Your situation is a tough one and you shouldn't feel sorry for anybody. You're a good person, anon. It may sound like a meme, but I think you should open up more to other people. I mean, I read your posts and i cannot feel anything but sympathy for you, so why shouldn't others, too?

Your statement is flawed on the grounds that I hurt people by existing. How can you call such a person 'good'? It's not about sympathy, it's about the fact that people have their own problems that are real. I conceal and live on as any other day. I still question myself why I posted here and why I keep going on with this discussion with you while holding back tears.

Anon, stop wasting your time on me. You have more, and better, things to do.
Most people who get ghosted probably deserve it.

I'm waiting for you. I promise
My sister has issues with depression and I want to help her, but I'm seriously sick of her complaining to me every day about how sad she is but if I try to talk to her seriously about it and address it she ignores me. I feel like all she wants is pity and attention, and she's not ready to try to fix her problems. I know that's an issue with depression because I went through that myself, but I don't know how to make her see that she needs to work at it to get better, and that depending on other people for happiness isn't going to work.

I also feel like I have no idea what's best for her; I'm saying all this but she might have much worse depression than I had and needs different solutions. The only thing I feel for certain is right is to go to therapy, but she's resistant to that. She knows she should go, but doesn't see the benefit of it and ignores me whenever I try to talk to her about it. I'm her best friend and I want her to be happy, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to just feed her attention whenever she's sad anymore.
that jealousy
If you want to keep your problems to yourself, then that is your own decision. But as I said, sharing them with others who feel alike WILL greatly help you and make your life as well as their lives easier.
You DO deserve help. As much as you want to tell me you don't, I won't believe any of that bullshit. I haven't met one single fucking person in this life who has hurt others by simply existing, and I'd bet my life that you don't do so either. People hurt others through their actions, not by simply "being".

Yes, everyone has their own problems they have to deal with. But not everyone is selfish and doesn't help others. Empathy and relating to others is what makes us human. There will always be someone to listen to your problems and help, it's just that sometimes you'll have to search a little for them.
Whatever makes you feel better, buddy.
Why ?
You haven't seen me, then. I see and feel how much my mom goes through simply because she has to deal with me.

But Thank You for trying to cheer me up. I really appreciate it. I do, even if You're wasting time on me.
literally nothing makes me feel better.

Which is why your jealousy is so fucking genuine.
I'm punishing myself by cutting all contact off with all my friends and all the communities I'm apart of because of what you did
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Your mom is a very strong person, anon.

I'm out now, please remember that you're as much of worth as everone else and that you're not alone with your problems in this world.
There is always someone who can help you and who will care for you, you just have to reach out a little.
gib cuddles now
I wasn't as jealous when you had an actual gf. Your waifus make me want to disappear. I don't know how to smash my feelings. You don't want my admiration. I feel worthless in your eyes... I guess I am.
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So I'm "yours"? Huh. I been thinking about this over the last few days and I think I'm okay with this thought. As long as you will be mine as well. I wouldn't mind that at all.

I knew I liked you, this was pretty much given. Damn, that's a lot, I wasn't fully sure you liked me as much as I liked you.
After my last mess maybe that's why I tried to fight this feeling. We are too alike. Both if us have had our hearts broken and seems like we found comfort and refuge in each other. At the same time we both aren't fully ready to deal with another person. I will wait, we are pretty much a couple from the way we talk. And you let slip that you called yourself my gf before I even was sure what I was to you. Still, I'm happy about it. I like you, a lot. Maybe even love, a little too soon for that, but I feel happy when I think about you. I look forward to spending time together. Every time, I go from tired and grumpy to happy and calm.

Who are you to make me feel this way?

I spent all day at work, going what I usually do, but I had you on my mind the whole time. Yet, it wasn't obsessive as the last time. You were there in mind, but not completely stressing me out, taking my everything from me. It was simply me, with a smile, working and studying with you on you mind.

I like this, and I really like you. Maybe even more.
You really can't wait for us to be together.
So this was your goal? All those hints and tugs at my heartstrings, I should have given in sooner. A few nights ago when you called me yours, I wondered about what that meant. What it meant for us. Its kinda scary, but I love the thought. I want you in my life as a permanent fixture and if you will have me, I want to be in yours. So let's see where this takes us. I look forward to our meeting tonight.
*snuggling intensifies
You were the one who wanted to see me again. So when will you finally take the time to see me? I can't believe you're so busy.
It seems like you initiated some kind of game where you risked losing face by asking me to meet you, and in return I'm challenged to keep my cool while waiting for this meeting to finally happen.
I have become a little obsessed, but I won't deny all this waiting doesn't suit me, at least it gives me something to fantasize about.
Girls nowadays only want sex, fuck

rejecting them feels good
You are a sad, sad, sad man.
Validating your feelings by projecting your insecurities on others.
I'm flirting with a girl yet I dont even know if I want one. Feeling perplexed with myself.
Most people who ghost ate cowards who don't want to be honest, or selfish shits who don't want to be inconvenienced so not really.
Fuck, whenever I put any of that music on I just think of you and want to get really drunk. It's the best feeling in the world because it's the only one I can still feel. It feels like I'm alive.
Sometimes I feel as if something is inherently wrong with me. I find myself copying personality aspects from people I see regularly and I don't know if this is normal or I am too afraid to go outside being myself.
On edge constantly, a considerable bundle of mental health issues, stressed with where I'm living, insecure about my own ability (so can't gain traction with tasks/pastimes and sometimes feel it all very acutely.
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i am failing at university, i know i wont succeed in this semester, all i can do is get ready for the next attempt,
however, since I am not paying for my tuition, it is very likely that i will have to leave uni and start actually working.

i'm scared.
Fuck it, I'm gonna ask you out when we see eachother again this tuesday. You might well say no, but at least I'll know for sure.
That's the spirit, anon
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Both of you nignogs are me combined.

Not exactly related but I've been recently dealing with heavy amounts of depression+anxiety+alcoholism.

Mainly comes from my family being disappointing in me and craving some affection.

I'm fucking lonely as shit, I don't even give a shit about sex, I just want a girlfriend I can hangout with and have someone to love.

Problem is I'm ugly and fucking poor. I'm unable to find a job (apparently 0 people want to hire me, I'm 19 and I can legally work and all of that shit) and I'm too retarded for college.

Anyone else feel where I'm coming from?

Pic (semi) unrelated but I kinda see myself as solid snake/big boss a bit. I'm always betrayed by everyone and I'm a simple grunt.
My brother is surpassing me and will be the next patriarch of the family.

He's happy all the time, has a passion that he's good at, lots of friends and everyone generally loves when he's around, girls catcall him, and I get none of these things.

I have to try and take it all back, but it's really hard when I feel like shit and want to kill myself all the time. I don't know if I can take this humiliation year after year, I just want to be in the ground.

cruel thirsting deities above, either grant me the power to take my rightful place as leader or strike me dead soon.
Met a dude recently off tinder. We talked for about a week before meeting up. We hit it off smashingly, he's just my type. I haven't met anyone this close to perfect in over 6 years.
I had so many issues with only ever being able to meet guys who just wanted sex, no matter what the platform I used to meet them (online dating AND irl dating). I decided I wasn't going to play the stupid fucking "start as fwbs and pray it grows" game all my friends advised me to do. "Thats the only way people get bfs anymore anon, you have to at least blow them first"
Well, first date went a little too well. He put his arm around me, worked into making out, and it just kinda snowballed from there. I should have stopped it and held firm with what I told myself before meeting him, no clothes are coming off tonight, but in the moment I guess I just wasn't thinking with my brain.

I stopped at oral and called it a night. I feel like I blew more than just him last night though. I really feel like we had great chemistry and I really want to get to know him and get close with him. But if he is only after sex like every other guy I've met so far now he's just gonna think of me as another slut looking for one night stands.
I just want to move on. I have to accept I'll never know what went wrong. At least I learned a few things
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Fuck. Lets go. So im a dude. I like to fuck. Who doesn't. Then tho, im to ugly to be even considered to join sexual market let alone to be in it. Is prostitution my only saviour?

Then what to do?
Beside offing myself ofc my helpful, emphatic and genuine friend?
I hate myself and I hate my life as it now stands.
I have dealt with crippling depression and debilitating anxiety for as long as i can remember. The anxiety started when i was still in the third grade (US) and the depression somewhere around my freshman year of highschool, it actually got bad enough that i dropped out my senior year and didn't finish my senior year and get my diploma until i was almost 21.

I believe the anxiety stems from a unstable home caused by a alcoholic and drug addicted father. the depression stems from rejection from said father and rejection from people who i thought wanted to help me get better. i have been on anti depressants and anxiety meds since 17 or so just so i could function. i am now dealing with a alcohol problem that has developed over this year. I am still living at home and supported by a loving mother and step father who is one of the kindest most supporting men I have ever met. I have no way to come to terms with my birth father due to his addictions taking his life when i was around 12.

I am currently at the point where i am actively seeking employment not so much for money (which i terribly need to take some pressure of my older and retiring parents) but to give me a social outlet since i have isolated myself for the past 6 years or so and to try to become more self sufficent and get some self esteem back, but i am having trouble.

I still currently attend church,I believe in God. I also attend bi weekly counseling and am talking to a man who deals with helping people with addictions.

i have tons of support and people that want to help me and seem to care about me, yet i hate myself and feel useless. i often wish i just wouldn't wake up in the morning. i have almost lost all of my drive to continue. i wonder what the future holds for me, not in joy. but as a cruel ride that i cannot get off of. i worry whether i will make a good spouse and i good father. or if i will amount to anything.
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I'm so uncomfortable with intimacy. Even when its other people opening up to me, I feel so uncomfortable and it makes me want them to go away. When people I know try to tell me something, and expect me to be emotionally there for them, I just shut down and try to push them away and give the bare minimum so they leave me alone. I do this to family as well as acquaintances.

Its no wonder I have no friends.
is 5chen slow or no one cares, damn this day sucks

>as it now stands.
here in the word atom bomb you send is the answer. Did you try therapy for ACDF? Did you try therapy at all? Most of shit you wrote is about your past...

Get out of this shit, sort your life and organize your diet. No meds needed.

No need to do that. Im drunk right now so im not gonna judge but why you drink?

Don't take to much to fast.

>Thats a good thing silly. Don't write that, people will get jelous.

Is there a reason you are aware of why you do this or this just comes naturally. Maybe you don't need intimacy, or you feel comfortable with intimacy because you think its unnecessary or even dumb. Shit you might be just introverted as fuck.
why is my dad so against me eating caramel apples

Holy shit go fuck yourself faggot
whats a acdf? and i have clinically diagnosed depression. every time i go off meds i crash and its like 3 months of trying to find normal again and i am in counseling, i consider that therapy. the goal of it is to move my thinking to now and the future and break the thinking that lives in the past.

my post was more venting about feelings than anything, but i am open to advice (duh look where im posting)

i drink to not feel like shit.
That makes no sense at-fucking-all if you have even remotely followed the reply thread.

Keep trying anon, never give up.
>Is there a reason you are aware of why you do this or this just comes naturally.
I don't know the particular reason, but its definitely some sort of childhood shit or something.
I yearn for intimacy for sure, but I'm definitely introverted as fuck
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shit nigger, sorry bout that. Definition depends on the country so im bit lost in translation here but i ment ACA or Adult Children of Alcoholics. Nowdays its even called Adult Children / Abusive Parents or something.

> off meds
Try the hell out to change you day to day routine and diet. Really helps. Might even decide to just stop taking meds altogheder.

>lives in the past
Fuck past. Everyone makes mistakes. Its what you learn from what really matters.

>my post was more venting
Honestly i have no fucking god damn idea if we should just vent here or some anons should help here if wanted. I try to help as much as i can but its a bit on the empty ear i think. I don't really get it an no one was kind enough to tell me to fuck off yet.

>i drink to not feel like shit
well, same and the effect is always the opposite.

>I yearn for intimacy for sure, but I'm definitely introverted as fuck.

This doesn't work like that. You are either Int or Ex and you are definitely Ex then. Not going to deep is there any sign of what makes you so afraid of intimacy?

Shit to be honest i have same thing but only with women. I still can't get why so many women or men are so comfortable with just hugging and kissing on the cheek for goodbye or when they meet. For me its like black magic.
ill look into that program, and i have tried to go off of meds server times. it always ends very badly. i am currently not in a place in my life where i can do that. i agree that they are over prescribed and many people would do better without them. but i am not one.

and yeah, i always feel a fuckton worse after a drunk.
Are you my real brother on different country lol, just replace the meth addict part with partying with girls, then stealing part with various kinds of abuse if he doesn't get any money

We used to get some physical abuse too actually, but luckily the physical abuse totally stopped now because I already punched him when I was a teenager, the other kinds of abuse is still intact though

If anything, I wish some problems can easily be fixed by fist fights lol

I'm already used with this though, thanks dude, speaking to people with similar experience actually loose me up and make me grin a little,
wish you the best because you sound like a relatively successful person in life

I think you're okay and already do what you can, It's possible that she just want attention, self indulging her pity, and drama queen personalities

What pissed me off the most about this kind of people (if my instinct is true) is that they usually think their problems are the most important and biggest ones while never trying to sympathize with other people's problems

Wait for a while and don't give her too much sympathy anymore. If she craves more attention, I think she's just being self indulging and it's better to straighten her up if you really want to change her and do care for her. But if she start to slowly change herself than let her be

>off meds
No don't, don't get off if you can't. Course not.
Im just giving you an idea that its possible to be without it but you need to kind of sort your shit beforehand.

yeah, someone smart said some ages ago
"there is no dionysus without its bacchaes"
no fun without daemons.

I mean mate, just sort your shit. You ain't that bad and thank god you vented, this proves alone that you have more balls than anyone
you cunts gave me a bunch of bunk drugs.

I shouldn't be having effexor withdrawals, but I am. There is fucking nothing in these.
Get the fuck out of here. You really gonna come back in here like that. Fuck you cunt. I can't even suffer in this shit hole by myself without you having to take that from me too
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I feel like such a fucking failure.
I've been all my life IRL, with the exception of one person, completely friendless. I have tried to go after people and become friends hundreds of times. I have tried to do so much different things to get better socially but things never fucking work. My social skills are better but I still behave like an autistic fuck and can't befriend people. I feel like I've fucked up a really basic human function that EVERYONE is fine with. I don't even feel lonely or anything, but it feels like I'm a failure on life. I miss the times I wouldn't care much about that and would just feel fine and actually even appreciate the lack of friends. At least I have online friends, but yeah. I wish I coul just behave normally. I wish all the work I put into TRYING to be normal socially actually paid off. I don't even care about dating [and much less sex, since while I'm biromantic, I'm ace] and still being a kissless girl or anything, I just want to stop being so autistic.
And I feel like such a shitty underachiever. I find most things very easy to learn and I'm smart, I really was supposed to have academics going for me. But instead I can't freaking concentrate on anything, even when I try hard to study I just procrastinate and can't do anything at all. I sometimes wonder if I have ADHD but nevertheless this really makes me feel like a piece a of crap.
Honestly there is so much I feel shit about nowadays but argh, just felt like saying those.

I just want to be normal socially, I just want to stop wasting all my potential and fucking up my life. I wish my attempts at fixing those problems would work already.
Not suicidal at all but sometimes I really wish I was dead ffs.

but thats bullshit

you have friends here
all shit after that ain't worth shit
i like you anon
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>Tfw I've been trying not to ghost a guy that's overly clingy towards me
I've done it so many times and I don't wanna do it again, but fuck me do I just not wanna talk to this guy anymore. Being friends with him at this point is practically impossible.
How clingy?
From your post I gather you were the manipulative one in this situation but yet still try and portray yourself as the one who is "right" or "a good person".

A good person would try and keep things civil and walk away from the situation. Who is right is not important unless both sides of the story are known.

Keep telling yourself whatever you like and buy into all your own bullshit.
You wont be normal, stop trying. Become comfortable with yourself and invite people into your crazy world, the people who wont come in, fuck on the welcome mat. Also start exercising or becoming successful because a crazy coked out business man is way cooler than a schizophrenic homeless man in a dumpster.
Heh, just like real life I have no one to talk to.

I'm used to it.
I have been toying with the idea of starting a music career for 3 years (I'm out of college now) and I still haven't done shit. Is mid twenties too late/does anyone have experience with the music industry and can give me tips?

I feel like most people don't take me seriously when I say this.
Holy shit I actually feel better now. I feel like I can actually fulfil my dream now. I just hope I actually can...
I'm tired
I don't want to see you anymore dude.
I miss my little brother so goddamn fucking much I don't know what to do. It's been almost 4 years since he died but holy fucking shit I miss him. We were inseparable and had such a strong connections, almost like twins even though we weren't. And all I can do is just prevent myself from dwelling on it. That's the thing about losing somebody so fucking close to you, you never get over it and it never gets easier. Sure living life day to day gets easier because over time you learn to just not think about it most of the time, but every time you do think about it the pain is just as unbelievably strong and intense, and the insane frustration of not being able to do a goddamn thing about it is too much to handle sometimes.
I don't want to talk to anybody.
I don't want anybody to make me feel better.
I don't want to "let it out", cry, punch and break shit, just let out my anger and sadness.
I don't want anybody to tell me they understand, even if they do.
Literally all I fucking want is my goddamn fucking brother back.

I normally don't swear this much but words just really can't convey the intensity of these feelings.
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Most of my life I thought I'd be ugly. My parents are both considered to be bad-looking, so much so it was kind of an ongoing joke.

My parents made fun of it, the rest of my family made fun of it and so did strangers. I just shrugged it off...and for 1-18 felt pretty damned okay with being fat and presumably ugly. Then I went through this horrible thing that basically gave me trust issues and made me feel like everyone is a shallow fuck.

Theeeen I lost weight and it turns out that I look nothing like my parents and actually have people crushing on me and generally being kind to me..honestly, what the fuck, I don't get it but I'll take it. I still am too screwed up to date but I'm glad that I'm not all that ugly.
Tired of your baits...
why keep on living if I have no reason too? not even sad, just bored, unfulfilled. nothing grabs my attention.
just fucking hurt their feelings pussy, it's better in the long run
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It's funny watching you play catch up ;)
Mediocrity isnt a disease you insecure whine bag.
lol journey
the alien with one robotic glowing left eye image is getting old.

All the images are fucking old. Either explain what they are or just fucking stop.

let me go or just kill me.

Actually, just kill me. Fuck it.
I can't tell if you're using me for attention on the side, or if you genuinely like me but aren't sure what to do about it since you're in a relationship. Both scenarios seem entirely plausible. Your current boyfriend is a bit of a dick; you two both say you don't hate each other but you opening admit that he insults you, and when we all went out for dinner the other night you had two fights in as many hours.

It doesn't seem like you're using me, because you don't go out of your way to grab attention or come to me when bored. It's just this energy and gravitation that we seem to have when we're together, and sometimes it grows to the point that our friendly flirtation gets more than friendly.

More and more, when you enter the room, you move to stand or sit near me, close enough to brush elbows, hips, or something. Then, as if remembering suddenly, you'll shift over to his side and fold yourself up with arms and legs crossed, avoiding any accidental touches while maintaining the minimal level of decorum to indicate you're 'together'.

I've also noticed a growing habit of 'lingering'. Whether it's eye contact, lagging behind to continue conversations, or just plain putting yourself in my way when there are more open avenues.

I'm not going to do anything other than be a friend while you're still in a relationship. I just wish I understood what was going on.
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Dear L,
i just wanna know why
can you please tell me what all this "1" shit means?

Why do you keep repeating it? How many times can I win something I have no idea I'm taking part in? What the fuck am I winning? Why am I "The One" or "number 1"

shut up claire.
I feel like it's my mission in life to comfort people.

I'm not happy with my current work or life path - it's unfulfilling and hard to invest myself. I feel incomplete, even when I'm pushing forward and succeeding with it.

It's only happened a few times, but enough times in recent memory that a pattern has developed. Someone will have something happen - an accident, stress, whatever - and get overwhelmed. Even if it's just for a short time, they break down. I just happen to be nearby so I reach out. Offer an arm, a back-rub, a few kind words, or just some time and compassionate silence.

In the moment my only concern is helping this person get through whatever is bothering them. Doing everything in my power to keep them being further overwhelmed or hurt. But after helping someone I feel this warm sense of achievement inside. That I did what was right, and nothing more in the world matters.

I've never been good with intimacy or common acts of caring, like gift-giving or celebrations. It always used to be me being comforted. Until a few years ago I could barely tolerate hugs. When I see someone hurting, though, there's nothing more I want to do than wrap them up. The only thing that stops me is fear of boundaries and social customs.
You numba 2 m8
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I want him!
I don't know if he's gay, but i think he might be. He likes avocado sandwiches and yoga. He's pretty awkward and lanky. He's not a charmer in any way, and makes no effort to be one. He's a math nerd, and I think he's really cute.
There's nothing I can do because I have no idea how to ask someone if they are gay. If they are in a relationship, and if they'd want to go on a date with me. How do you ask those things all in a row? How do you find out the first without directly asking? How can i make sure he doesn't hate me if he's not, and that he doesn't feel awkward if he is but doesn't want a relationship?
How do I make sure I won't get hurt, and neither will he?
I am so used to inaction. In high school, I had crushes on girls, never told anyone anything, but things got close. Some were obviously mutual. Sometimes, I wondered why I bothered, because I had to push people away without letting them know I was gay. But I never liked any of the guys I knew, so I didn't think it mattered. But now I do. This isn't something I can ignore as easily, but it's something I will struggle with.
Worst part, he's 8 years older than I am. Maybe not socially much older, but he still might be inhibited about that. What in the world can I do about that? Why did I have to fall for someone who is such a stretch, and yet so tantalizing in his closeness?
Being gay is really shitty.
No matter how much I wish to socialize, the need to work bothers me more. There's no in between or balance, I either ruin my career or I ruin my sanity. This is the way it has to be.
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Second to none perhaps.

Hard to tell me otherwise when there are direct references to me, my art, and my life in hollywood blockbusters. For fuck's sake, wonder woman, atomic blonde, and especially Baby Driver are about me.

PIC related is about me.

I really want to know why but you faggots refuse to tell me.

You also refuse to just let me die.

For fuck's sake just let me fucking die.
Winning err day err day
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I always feel ugly, and I think it might seriously be because I keep my hair long???
But I like having long hair a lot more than I like having short hair. Something comforting in the warmth and mass on my head. Getting a haircut makes me feel cold, naked, and vulnerable.
I don't think I care if it makes me ugly, even if it impacts my interactions with others. I can grow facial hair, but not super quickly (i'm 19) so I'm hoping that will speed up a bit and I can have long hair with a bit of a beard (which I think would be a lot better looking).
dat frame lol
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Thanks, anon. No kidding, that made me feel a bit better, hah.

Yeah, you're probably right, that really should be the best path to take. Even removing the social awkwardness, my mentality and life experience, both of which I wouldn't trade for anything, by this point differs so much from the norm that it really is way too late to strive for normalcy. Becoming comfortable with myself IRL surely can be tough but seems to be the path most worth it. Inviting people into my crazy world sounds pretty good, too.
I really want to start exercising even though I'm frequently unmotivated for things [though BECAUSE of that lack of motivation too, exercising helps to boost my overall motivation], just kind of sad I'll need to leave that for 2018, 2017 has eaten up all my free time and I can't do much stuff. Becoming successful is also a goal of mine, arguably a harder one than exercising because of my issues with focus and attention and that kind of shit.

Thanks a lot, anon. You really helped.
I miss designing things. Like that day we spent a reaaaallllyyyyyy long time designing a banana chair for Katy Perry where the biggest issue was to not make it so obviously sexual.

and like... it's fucking Katy Perry. No matter what you do it's going to look sexual.

I do like how they used my concept design (pose and the like) as the cover and for marketing purposes.
s t i l l w i n n i n g
You're so ridiculously strong for not having broken already.
Do you want revenge? I would, and there are plenty of ways you can get it after you graduate university. It would be easy to occasionally remind your parents of how much you've accomplished despite considerable discouragement and negativity, with a little twinge of smug malice that would drive them fucking nuts. You can be a complete animal and be completely justified. Remember that these people are not really important in any way, sure, they gave you a house, but anyone could have. They were the ones who could have loved you, and they didn't, so you don't owe them any love whatsoever in return.

If you do want to love them, they're clearly broken people themselves and need help. They've needed it for a very long time and haven't known how to get it. I personally think anyone who is that much of a shithead should just be left to starve, but you might be a less severe person and if so, you should see what you can do to help them individually. I'm sure you know of therapeutic resources if you're in uni, since they advertise that shit everywhere. Try to force your mom or dad into something like that, and tell the therapist how you feel about what your parent has said to you right in front of the parent. They will handle the questioning and the solving of deep seated issues, and you can be a force of positivity for your family.
Recognise that in no way is the first option cruel. It's deserved.
I find it interesting that you want to die so much by random chance, but not by your own assured hand. Any psychological justification for this must reflect you as a completely irrational thinker.
I had the same thing in high school. I'm at college now, and it's a lot better. So many people, so many gays. I haven't gotten into a relationship yet, but that's just because I'm awkward and don't really know how to be openly out to people. I think I might just get one of those pride buttons on my backpack and a stupid laptop stickers and that way I won't have to say it to people.
I read them so that I can respond when people have the same concern as I do, to better connect with those who feel alone in the world.
Maybe people know what is was like when I was around them, but I don't remember what it was like when they were around me.
You are an idiot hahahahahahaha
Right now I feel so worthless and low I've had depression for quite a while but hide it pretty well. I don't talk to my family, they're horrible people and don't have any friends outside work. Everyday I wake up wishing I died in my sleep.
Is it good to be called a harpy?
No, google it.
Damn. I just did
Why would he call me that though? Right after we had a pretty good time.
Or so i thought.
What was the context? How did he say it?
So we met finally....It had been a while since we saw each other. We talked and just shared our views catching up to how much we have changed. Then that proceeded to fucking. I then asked him what I was to him and he thought about it for a while. then said you are my harpy. I asked what he meant by that and he just said nothing and changed the subject. It was an intense meeting well. for me. just left me confused.
That's a weird word to use for sure. He could have meant it in a playful way, like saying "you're my demon, babe." Sounds like his way of saying it was intense for him too.
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I caved because I care
I caved despite the fact that people don't care
No matter who I'm with you are always in my thoughts.
Thats definitely good. cleared out a bit of confusion. (our situation is not the best) the google search would've just made it worse.
>our situation is not the best
No I think I'm good like this.
but still thanks for that insight..
I had withdrawals from effexor as well. I was itching like a muhfucka
coming down off of adderall is hell right now

i need to sleep, but i want to run a fucking marathon

i'm lonely as fuck too right now since my roommate left and my boyfriend isn't coming until tomorrow
effexor gave me auditory and visual hallucinations. coming off it felt like the flu and i soaked my bed sheets every night with cold sweat. never will i go on antidepressants ever again
Nice projection faggot. When you kys you should have someone scrawl that on your grave
Agree with Effexor being hell, I had massive withdrawals, the soaked sheets and purple spiders
No one is writing to you on here, snowflake.
Dear sexy exotic lady who I'm really into,

Why the fuck are you living with that piece of shit ex boyfriend of yours when everyone who knows him hates him, yourself included? I know you have a crush on me.

That does it, I'm going to cuck him out of your life right fucking now.
Snap then panty drop
Give me a hug. Pat my head. Snuggle up close. Fall asleep together. Relaxing.
Yeah like i get it, now. Ive got problems, I fucked this thing up, and it'll be hard to get over that, but respect any decision you have.

Sucks, I proved to be the even shittier person in this relationship I guess. When you pushed me away, did what you did with whomever, whatever, doesnt pale in comparison to how bad i was.
He is clingy because he is to awkward to state what he really wants. My point stands, you are afraid to tell him off which will cause him to hurt more in the long run.
3 months deep into silence...
Just tell me goodbye
I may have done a bump of blow tonight at work to get the girl I love off my mind. It worked until I got home. Now I'm just a fucking wired mess with carne asada fries
What's wrong with Journey? I know it's cliche, but I'm a sucker for 80s hits which you'd know if you've seen my previous letters to her.
3 years and I've been saying the same thing. I just want to move on.
I want to break up with her

But I am afraid bcs I don't know what I am feeling

I feel hurt

I want to be alone and be a loner than in relationship

I don't know

I hate myself

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