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i'm 18 almost 19, i've only been dating my boyfriend 2-3 months, and i just found out that i'm about 1 month pregnant

(used the pill correctly, but got very very unlucky)

anyway, my boyfriend is in pre med school and i'm in business school and i can't afford to have the baby mentally, physically, and financially

my boyfriend is kind of unstable at times (bipolar but managing on meds) and i have panic disorder and depression (also managed well)

A. this kid is going to be genetically fucked over mental health wise

B. kid would have a bad life because we're both in school and our parents work during the day

so i'm not having it.

my boyfriend always said that if he got me pregnant he would commit suicide regardless of whether i aborted it or not

should i even tell him when i get an abortion? i feel like he should know because it's his kid and he might want to keep it for some reason

or should i just go through with it and never tell him? i feel like this is a bad idea because it'll come out eventually i just don't want him to an hero

>inb4 keep baby anon, you're selfish
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He deserves to know and he deserves to have a say in the matter. It's his child too, even though it's inside of you.
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>>18797583
Good thing you live in a free country where you can get an abortion, huh?

>And don't worry, it isn't human yet.
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>>18797583
This is tough, but I'd lean towards the truth shall set you free. It depends though, if you felt like he was serious that he would kill himself then you need to report that and have him committed. I'm guessing he was exaggerating though, so just be honest with him.

Sorry about what you're going through. A really close female friend of mine had a similar thing and the abortion was incredibly painful physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But it kickstarted something in her and she's really become a better person after it even though I thought she was perfect before.
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>>18797588
Or, not. Because there's no such thing as souls.
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>>18797583
abort never tell anyone
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>>18797595
The biological matter inside of her is technically half his property, half hers. They both were involved in it's production so they both have the right to know.
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>>18797593
thanks for the advice and optimism

even though i will most likely have an abortion, it's still not an easy call for me to make. i'm glad your friend is doing well and i aspire to be like her in the months and years following this
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>>18797599
Says no law made by man or nature, ever.
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>>18797609
So if you helped build something and I didn't want it in my garage, but you really gave a fuck about it and I just went and destroyed it... you'd be okay with my decision? After all... it was in my garage even though there was nowhere else it could've gone...
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>>18797596
this
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>>18797620
You festering shitsack, you came inside a chick and now you say you built half an 8 pound baby inside your body?
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>>18797620
well legally yes you could destroy it.

>>18797608
No problem at all girl. You got this.
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>>18797627
No one's debating the legality of abortion. Abortion is fine and should be legal. I just think it's important that people communicate and consider each other's perspective on serious matters like this.
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Have the abortion. Do not let this ruin your future or your life. It isn't fucking worth it. You have so much to offer the world, don't let a kid drag you down.

If your boyfriend would be against it, do it anyway.
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>>18797632
UH, drag you down? That's hilarious. Children have the potential to bring incredible amounts of joy. A child isn't going to "ruin your future". It may make things more difficult for you depending on your goals, but that just means you'll need to work harder.

I mean, honestly, with A.I. and robotics progressing at the rate it is now, non of you are going to be able to get a job anyway.
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>>18797637
Spoken like a true idiot. I'm not saying kids don't bring joy to certain people but to a young mother in college with no funds or real want for the child?

No.
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>>18797639
A true idiot? You're hilarious. College is a waste of money and white collar jobs are going to be the first to go... I say this as someone who's literally on the DeepMind research team at Google.

You're better off staying out of debt and using what little time you have left to build a family.
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>>18797583
I'm really sorry anon, I don't envy your position.

I'm not going to argue whether you should or shouldn't. It's your choice. Everyone will have a shitty opinion on why you should or shouldn't, but it's not their body, it's not their life. There's something to be said for your boyfriend's part in the matter, but if it's really going to cause him so much emotional distress he's going to kill himself just because you're pregnant, it seems like a good idea to not tell him and just deal with it. The only consideration here is if he ever finds out at all and you do it without his knowledge, the blowback will be twice as bad as whatever it'll be if you're just honest now.

That being said, it's your body, it's your life. Think long and hard about it and try to decide which path you can really live with at the end of the day.
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>>18797647
You Googlefags should unionize.
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>>18797647
For a DeepMind you're not very good at thinking
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>>18797660
I concur.
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>>18797620
You so just WANTED to be pregnant with her baby, but you decided the girl should be pregnant

no dumbfuck, you built it in her garage with her tools on her property. Any say on whether it's getting trashed certainly deserves respect on the grounds that you were part of building it, but it's her goddamn property and if she wants to dump it that's her right
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Abort and dump him. Total manipulation or being incredibly jackassish to say you’re gonna off yourself over a pregnancy.
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>>18797583
Honestly why say shit?

People accept whatever reality is given to them until presented otherwise.
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>>18797660
>>18797664
Yeah, put yourself in debt, get a degree, work an internship for a company who wants to profit as much as they possibly can that's structured in a way where you're expendable... during a time period where machines are entirely capable of being taught how to do complex tasks

Meanwhile you could marry your boyfriend, go to therapy with one another, raise a child with assistance from local charities, sell crafts on Etsy and garden....

I'm the idiot here for thinking option two's wiser...

Oh... btw at Google we don't prefer to hire people who are self-taught. :^)
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>bipolar unstable
>med school
Scary thought that one day I might be operated on by a doctor who will go mentally unstable in the middle of the operation.
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>>18797685
"I use Google all day long to search for furry porn in my basement" doesn't equal to "I work for Google".
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>>18797595
Its not even about souls. Seriously I'm an atheist and I understand that a fetus has every right to be on this earth that you do and more. The only gray area is if the pregnancy resulted from rape, which is the only real situation where an abortion is slightly okay.

It's simple ethics, it doesn't matter if it has thoughts and feelings or not it has a will to live and be human if you let it so yeah you're completely selfish to get an abortion. And you know it too, you didn't get pregnant on accident, you accidentally failed cheating it.

I don't have a horse in this race idc if people get abortions as long as we're honest about it. Just had to step in because that other anon is retarded.
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>>18797732
Don't worry, doctors killing patients is so common now hospitals have teams of people to crucify fuck up doctors in order to protect themselves.
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>>18797583
I think he has a moral and ethical right to know that his semen has produced a clump of cells in your body that could mature into a human if allowed to. I feel this way because he's responsible for the child financially and he gets no say what so ever in this financial obligation in the current US court system. I think that's trash, but that's the practical way it is right now.

To not tell him would be to metaphorically rape the shit out of his civil rights IMO. He's needed to make the baby... has to pay for the baby if it comes out... you have sole discretion whether it comes out or not... but you might not even tell him it exits?

That would be a level of moral depravity that would sicken me enough to never speak to you again if I found out later that you aborted my baby without even speaking to me about it.

However, he has no right over whether you pop that lil bitch out or not because nature put it in your body and it's YOUR BODY. If men could get pregnant too (which make shit so much easier), I would feel the same way - It's HIS BODY.

SO, it's your choice what you do with your body and (disgusting as it is) the US courts give you the legal ability to make him pay for it even though it's your sole decision about whether or not to keep it.... BUT you're a fucked up and horrible person if you don't even tell him.
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>>18797772
The courts don't give permission, the Constitution and the People say abortion is a right. A God-given right.
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>>18797755
>it has a will to live and be human
>if you let it
If something has to be allowed to happen under ideal conditions, it by definition has no will of its own. A fetus has no will. A fetus has no identity. A fetus has no real value outside of the fact that it's human, according to you. But ethically, if allowing the fetus to be born (because as we just established, it has no will or desire) is more of a burden to its parents than not, why is that a more ethical standpoint than just nixing an accident and letting the parents go on to become productive members of society? Seems more ethical to make a doctor and a business school graduate than a baby given to parents that don't really want it being born into a situation they're not prepared to have it in.

Unless of course you're backtracking and going to insist that a fetus somehow inherently has more value to society than a full grown human being.
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>>18797775
O'rly could you please copy and paste the text where the Constitution guarantees the right to an abortion?

Either way, my post was never meant to say that.
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>>18797780
Adoption exists. The kid may live a miserable life, but at least their existence or non-existence is in their own hands.
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First, I'm calling bullshit. Pregnancy is measured in weeks, months is inaccurate and complicated.

Second, if he's expressed extreme displeasure with the possibility of you being pregnant, then keep your mouth shut. Suffer in silence.

Third, get better birth control. Try an IUD.
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The love of my life got an abortion and did not tell me this ruined our relationship.
Take that as you will.
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>>18798176
>First, I'm calling bullshit. Pregnancy is measured in weeks, months is inaccurate and complicated.

>Triggered that someone converted 4 weeks into a month or rounded 3 weeks

What is wrong with you?
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>>18798192
Work around women. See a ton of fake pregnancies everyday and I'm jaded.
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>>18797583
well what did you expect? sex exist for reproduction. if you don't want a kid you should not have sex in the first place.
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Ok so,

I had an abortion with my girlfriend, and a miscarriage later on.

The first was a decision we made together. For what it's worth, I think you're making the right move for you two.

The second, we had broken up before the miscarriage, and she didn't tell me to try and protect me or whatever. It hurt so much more knowing that I was oblivious to it. This was 8 years ago and it still bothers me, sometimes.

So, he absolutely should know. BPD or not, it's not your burden to bear alone, and he has as much right to be involved. He needs to be responsible for how he handles it, but it is your responsibility to tell him.
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>>18797583
Op he will leave you and then nobody will want you because
>hurr kids
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>>18797583
BTFO, whore. Die in a gutter.
I hope he kills himself, too.
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>>18797583
Tell him, but abort it regardless of what he thinks. SO MANY PEOPLE REGRET THEIR ENTIRE LIVES FROM UNWANTED PREGNANCIES.
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>>18797583
You don't need to tell him. Just get the chemical abortion as you're still early on so it's likely to work with just some pills.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill

Good luck, and you'll be fine.
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>>18798090
No one chooses to be born, faggot. Life is suffering. Let this girl end it before it suffers.
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>"It's not even a human yet!"

Tell me, what constitutes 'human', eh? Is it because it's tucked under inches of flesh and because it's out of sight and out of mind then it no longer exists?

Perhaps because it's yet to awaken its sentience and gain self-awareness, then it's merely a dumb parasite, yeah?

Fuck y'all. I'm not religious at all. But don't even pretend to give a shit about the rights of anyone if you can't even respect the earliest point where human life begins. You fags care too little for potentiality. Would you pull the plug on a man in a coma, because he stopped being a sentient human in the present? You wouldn't argue that 'he isn't human yet' would you?

OP, there are multiple institutions that can help you raise that child. If all else fails, put it up for adoption. Fuck you and your first-world narcissistic outlook. "Wahh, I'm going to lose out on money! I'm going to have to put in effort! I should deny a human life the chance to grow!"

Get fucked.
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I have a solution for you OP:
>Have child
>Live for the child and let it become your main priority
>Develop selflessness
>Still try to achieve stuff but don't worry as much about it because your priority is the well-being of the child
>Get better results because you are focused on something else and mature enough to not associate every single failing with your ego
>Remember to teach the child the importance of family
>An intelligent child matures who would do anything for his mom
>You are still young, have much more life experience and someone who will always be there for you if you educated the child well
There you go.
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>>18797592
>not human yet

You guys are complete retards of course it's a fucking human. It's not a fucking dog embryo. Yeah it's fucking evil to abort, but to each his own. I would say just adopt out the little guy. Your bf's mental health is worrisome though. I wouldn't tell him just out of fear especially after what he told you. What a little bitch, if you aren't prepared to deal with the consequences of sex maybe don't fucking have it.

FYI the biological purpose of sex is procreation, not solely feeling good. If he's going to be a bitch when your body fights back and decides that it's going to let you get preggo regardless you probably shouldn't be with him.
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talk with him, if he asks you, confide it with him, if he wants to know wahts up, otherwise only tell him if you can't handle it.

It's ok if you both think it is not good if you two have kids. Absolutely. If your relationship is more about helping each other out, more than having children together right now, that is perfectly fine.
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Tell him, obviously he deserves to know. Make a decition together. Also him threatening to kill himself regardless is retarded and not fair for you. Whatever you do he deserves to know.
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They have feeling at 12 weeks. Your business anon but think long and hard.
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>>18798771
Yeah and she's at 4 weeks dipshit
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>>18797583

Can you elaborate on why you were "very unlucky" with contraception?
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>>18798731
Even if you raise them properly, and with love.There's no guarantee your child will grow to love you, or be a good person.
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>>18798725
actually, the main reason i'm choosing not to have it is because of the mental health issues in my family and the fathers family

if i could've chosen to be born, i wouldn't have

same with my boyfriend

living with a mental illness that will likely be passed down to a child is just ending the suffering before it starts
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>>18798806
took the pill everyday within the same 2-3 hour time span for 4 years

originally started it for heavy bleeding etc etc

have never had any problems, until one day i was late and took a test and apparently i was the 1% of people taking it that get fucked over
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Abort. Children are a huge responsibility, and unfortunately, there are too many children in this country that end up disadvantaged because of circumstances like yours. You know yourself and your boyfriend. If you don't envision your child being in a good place, don't wait any longer. Abort, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life. The fact that you have a choice is a huge privilege. Whether you discuss it with your boyfriend or not is up to you. You know him best. But don't procrastinate.

I've seen old friends of mine end up being single mothers because the father ran away from their problems. It's not pretty. They try their best, but it's not the most ideal situation. Yes, there is some joy, always. But there is another way for you. Take it. If you have a child, give them the best guaranteed life they can get. Not this. Not at this time. You're not alone, anon.
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>>18797583
Don't have an abortion. Don't be complicit in child murder
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>>18799288
You take the unwanted baby with mental illness genes, then, dipshit. There are too many unhappy trash human beings in this world as it is.
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OP, if you do get an abortion then make sure this absolutely what you want to do. If you tell your bf, be prepared to break up and have someone watch your bf since it sounds like youre leaning toward abortion. Imo, I wouldnt tell him I had an abortion. I'd just have it then break up after.

Side note, if you get an abortion then you need to have someone drive you home since the medication they put you on makes you very sleepy and nauseous. Keep in mind some clinics wont allow you to leave without seeing you have someone to take you home.
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>>18799306
If you go through with this, what makes you any better than Jeffrey Dahmer?
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>>18799335
Are you seriously equating the removal of a mass of cells devoid of reason to the cold blooded murder of innocent young men by a psychopath? This shit is why pro-lifers can’t be taken seriously anymore.
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>>18797588
The law disagrees, m8
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>>18797583

>he might want to keep it for some reason
You just said you can't afford it, and it would completely destroy your future.

So abort it, and tell him. You're right that it would slip out in speech at some point so you might as well just say so.

Unless you aren't planning to stay together anyway, in which case you could just break up with him and not say what happened.

Difficult situation. Don't keep it though. It's not worth ending up as a bag clerk on food stamps living in a ghetto as a single mother or something.
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>>18797608
The earlier you do it, the less likely it is to be painful. It will likely just cause some cramping. Go to Planned Parenthood, though, and they can tell you more about your options for what to do.
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>>18797599
This is not how the law works anon. The female pays the vast majority of the physical and emotional costs and economic risks involved, so the female decides. It's very simple.
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>>18797620
Comparing the extreme hormonal and physical changes associated with pregnancy and the intense suffering and medical risk of the birth process to some project in your fucking garage is disgusting and dehumanizing. Your opinion is utterly worthless and became worthless the second you compared OP's body to your garage. Idiot.
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>>18797647
You aren't on DeepMind. I defy you to even explain a single thing DeepMind recently released and the tools used to build it. Poser.
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just abort it you retarded roastie holy shit
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>>18798188
The love of mine did the same thing to her horrible manipulative ex. This saved her future and we are now very happy together. Two sides to every story, anon.
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>>18798731
Not going to happen for a dropout in this economy. 1-way ticket to endless misery.
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>>18798771
It's actually 20-26 weeks. At 12 weeks there aren't even C-fibre nerves running to the area that will eventually become the cranial region.
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>>18797583
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I choose the abortion, and it was surgically removed.
You are going to be very angry when it's over, your relationship may not last long afterwards. You are always going to feel guilty, nothing is going to make you feel better. There will be nights where you cry in shame over what you've done, and you will try your best to never go through it again. Good luck OP
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>>18797583

Abort that shit before it becomes a baby , if you have it you will resent it for ruining your dreams and delegating you to menial jobs , instead of fulfilling your potential .
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>>18797647

You are a lying sack of shit , I bet you are a shilling from some right wing think tanks trying to push your unrealistic agenda on people .
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>>18797583
have the baby
if you relly don't want him or her, you can always give him/her away to an orphanage
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>>18797685

>raise your child with help from local charities .

So give up your goal and dreams of finincial independence and become a beggar , who is stuck in the some shit town because they had a bastard they didn't want in the 1st place . Also automation isn't going to kill of all jobs but simply automate many of the task done by those who them meaning that business will hire less people .
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>>18798733
Are you the same idiot who claims to be a Google employee.
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>>18797583
Tell him and abort. Crazy 300k bipolar baby money pit is going to ruin your life
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>>18797583
u need a babortion but don't tell daddy
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>>18797583
If you're both white, then just have the baby and give it up for adoption. An all white baby would get adopted fast, especially if the eyes stay blue.




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