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This is the place to unload that baggage that's been weighing you down for days, weeks, months, or years; to relieve the pit in your stomach that won't go away, write a letter to someone, ask for advice, etc.

Previous Threads (up to 5, working backwards):
>>18791533
>>18785512 (GIOYCN title)
>>18779867 (no GIOYC title)
>>18774508
>>18767634

- For even earlier threads, check out this archive (here): https://archived.moe/adv/search/subject/GIOYC/

- When posting a new thread, use this template, for the convenience of all users.

Resources:

- A public Kik group for whomever wishes to connect with others and discuss their issues: #GIOYC

- Suicide Hotline Numbers are located above the catalog, or check your country's Hotline Numbers (here): https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines

- A YouTube channel which pertains to therapy, mental health, depression, anxiety, etc.:https://m.youtube.com/#/user/KatiMorton

- Any recommendations for additional resources are, and will be, appreciated.
>>
Wondering if I should even continue friendship with people who I swear are making plans around me, telling me they hang out Thursday before the weekend, don't mention it and are all offline at the same time, from the same time.. "Don't know what's going on today, I'm not home atm but we can play some games if you want" You only hang out with like three people motherfucker where else are you
>>
Sup 21 year old virgin guy here. Have plans to chill with this girl on her birthday, it seems like it's just gonna be her and I. I'm not close with her by any means, only have chilled with her in a group setting. But we're leaving really early on her bday to do some things and she just asked if I wanted to crash at her place the night before. The thing is I could go lose my virginity, but she's kinda crazy and wants to use me as an emotional fuck because she's recently single. What do? Do I just say fuck it and crash at her place?
>>
Anyone saying that nice guys are just jealous of chad and that chad is actually a good guy and we just hate him because he gets the girls is wrong. Chad is a jerk, an unlikeable person who thinks he has the right to be rude and not give a shit.
>>
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>>18798586
Here's a small excerpt from my journal:

I'm sure I'll cringe at this next part when I look back later, hell I might even delete it out of secret embarrassment. We'll see what happens.
In all of my relationships I am the one who is constantly reaching out. Nobody ever reaches for anon. Nobody. If it's the rest of the world reacting this way, then I can only assume that I am the problem. There is something wrong with me I cannot find. If I can't find it, I cannot fix it. It hurts.
All I want in the world is someone to combine my life with. One person to get lost in, one person to get lost in me. I want to lie under the stars with them and share that clarity, to feel the weight on my body of someone who loves me, to feel their lungs rise and fall against my own, this person who I would love like nobody else. So I lie there as I listen to my coworkers trail off back to their cars for the night, feeling sorry for, and disgusted by myself.
My name is anon. I am 22 years old. For 19 years I was not allowed to be a human being. For 21 years I was medicated into a prison of false sickness. For 2.5 years I was torn to pieces and lit on fire by one of the most dangerous drugs in the world. A doctor did this to me; all of it. For one year I have been alive. I am a child.
So it's no wonder. I feel alone. That girl is not the problem. I am the problem. She is completely normal, a fixation of a traumatized brain which grimly understands its own damage. When I look at everything going on inside myself I begin to understand. It leaks out, even out here in the wilderness where I feel better. I reek of trauma, and the smell sends people running.
After 15 minutes my feet were almost numb. I got off of my sleeping pad, too tired to think. The voice within me that says "get up, keep going" the one who got me through withdrawal, it is my greatest asset.
The moon is coming out. Tomorrow I will see the sun.
>>
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>>18798586
The move back to the dorms has been miraculously good. I like living here but goddamn, I've been feeling sick as fuck. A slightly sore, hoarse throat. Almost shortness of breath. A painful nose. Weirdly enough before that - I guess the salad with onion I had got to me - I had terrible night breath. The whole room stunk...

Just a few days back I was feeling better than ever. Goddamned was it short lived...
>>
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What do I do if I get near constant reflections of suicide? It's almost like an entity that's made a home in the back of my mind, no matter how happy I am or distracted I always go back to it. It sometimes stops me in my tracks when it happens.
>>
Most days I am just an average, confident guy. I've learned to accept and get over shit like big red inflammations on my face and my acne scarring, and I've started lifting too, which gives me a boost as well.

Some days, however, I just feel unclean. Like this weird greasy feeling that lingers around and gives me anxiety. Showering usually helps, but only for a while. What can I do to stem this?
>>
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>>18798781
Don't know, man. Posted a pic here and was told I have BDD and am fucked in the head. To this day I still believe people are lying when they compliment me or show romantic interest in me. Rough shit.

Anyways, I actually have an extensive skincare regimen that has helped me cope. Sort of. Perhaps you should look into it with a derm. Also a therapist after you've fixed the main problems but still feel crabby.
>>
>>18798641
Look around on other threads it's the change in climate a lot of people get sick like this during the fall. I actually have the very same symptoms
>>
I'm getting closer to accepting the reality of my life. I should just shut up and listen to everyone else, I don't know jack.
Just shut the fuck up and stop pretending I exist when I don't. I don't want to know the pain of existence anymore. I can see peoplease getting bored and annoyed talking to me, it's like a stab in the heart every time.
I'm 22 maybe it's too late for me and everyone I know has had it and other people can't give a fuck about me and get annoyed quickly by my ''personality''.

Just keep to yourself and stop botherin other people living life.
>>
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>>18798860
Fuckin hell--thanks for telling me. I'm assuming we'll get better...if not, fuck everything.
>>
I hate almost everything about my life and myself. I'm not happy.

I hate being a guy, but being a girl doesn't sound great either. I feel like I don't fit into either gender. I feel trapped in a body that doesn't match my brain.

Taking hormones and transitioning to a "female" sounds horrible other than growing boobs. I'd be some fucking horrible weirdo that even moreso doesn't fit in.

My health is all over the place, I'm balding.


I want to die sometimes, but that seems stupid too, it wouldn't accomplish much and it wouldn't be fair to my friends and family.

I can't be myself anywhere except for the internet. And even with that, I'm limited because of the way I've connected my internet handle with my personal life.

I'm so horribly lonely, living with my best friend and his wife only goes so far. I don't think I'll ever find someone compatible with me.


Tell me. What's the point of continuing this charade.
>>
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>>18798905
no keep bothering other people. If they are bothered it's not your problem. you dont have to do it to gain anything, but also not to win anything. Just do it for the lulz. Stop caring what other people think of you. Pretend to be a retard and put your mind on zero. Actually I know a few people with mental health issue's and they are not doing so bad.
>>
>>18798946
Your reasoning makes no sense for me.
>>
>be me
>going out with friends for the first time
>not a clubbing type of person
>let my friends in, Im last
>they hesitate to let me in
>try to keep me out
>talk my way in
>drink a few to get in the mood
>everyone dancing
>every girl looks away from me and break eye contact
>they literally dance away from me except said friends
>walk a bit around and find a hiphop stage
>its oldschool, which I like
>girl taps me on the shoulder
>shouts in my ear "you need to come to my friend"
>walk after her
>her friend is pissed at her friend and shakes her head
>the other women laugh

guess Im an ugly fuck then
>>
Want to know what is super fucking annoying? Now that you're constantly trying to test me to see if I'm a pedophile, that's all I can think about. Like, I think about what you would WANT me to think about (because you people want me to be awful, you WANT me to think awful things.)

So now I look at things in some kind of fucking weird layered meta pedophile inception thing.

Is that what you were trying to do? It's like the ol' "Quick, name someone that isn't Jackie Chan." Now all you can think about is Jackie Chan.
>>
I'm really tired of getting harassed by white people. I try to be friendly and courteous to literally everyone I encounter and I am still treated like shit. This has been happening my entire life. It's worse with men bc I simultaneously get shit for being black and being faggy

I miss my hometown
>>
>>18799160
I'm tired of being harassed by white people as well.

I mean, I'm white but still. I'm constantly being harassed.
>>
my life seems to be ok. But i'm super bored all the time. I just masturbate because i dont know what else to do.
>>
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Someone called me adorable yesterday and was confused that I hadn't ever found a bf...I know I should just assume it was empty flattery, a white lie, from an otherwise honest person but damn, I guess it's a weakness. I felt so pleased.
>>
What the fuck are you guys poisoning me with? I mean, I have a pretty good idea what it is but why are you doing it on purpose?

If this is going to end and I'll be able to do what I want, you're not going to stop me from getting drugs. I'm going to get the ones I want and it's going to be insanely fucking easy to do it too. If you make me sober, it's going to be over the day I get out of this shit.

So why bother? I have 9 years left to live and I'm going to spend it high as fuck, every day.

You know, because you stole my fucking life from me. You purposefully gave me a degenerative brain disease that's going to kill me.

Worse, you've been drugging me AGAINST MY WILL and then you're going to fucking lecture me about drug use? Are you people that fucking retarded?

If this isn't going to be over then let me fucking die already. Give me a gun and I'll do it instantly. The only reason I DON'T kill myself is because I have no means to. Give me the means and I'll end this shit today.
>>
>>18799194
You want me on your side. Yet... you do absolutely fucking nothing to get me to be on your side.

You keep telling me "don't look back in anger" "this is a story of forgiveness not revenge" and honestly... it's starting to look like it's going to be a story of revenge.

Fuck you faggots, fuck your stupid planet, and just fuck you.
>>
Sometimes I worry that I have illusions of grandeur. That my dreams are too big and I'll never achieve them. Sometimes I realize that my paralyzing fear will keep me rooted in place, never to progress or regress. Just to experience the brief spark of existence and then fade away.

I want everything. I want it, but I don't know how to get it. I don't know how to make my work or my viewpoints known. I don't know how to be a part of a world as large as ours.
>>
>>18799127
Not them, but the reasoning here is that you deserve to feel accepted.

With this in mind, understand that integration starts from within your own personal psyche.

Acceptance isn't a state of being in which we feel love and cherished by other people.

Acceptance is the will to endure; an appraisal of your one and only life as one that is worthy of love and support.

A loving and supportive attitude will attract you many followers, so much so that you may come to find out how often others suffer as well. Sometimes moreso than you.

These types of things, however are too personal for most people to reveal.

Just imagine life's difficult moments as somebody handing you a bag of dogshit.

Those unwilling to deal with this world's, it's people's difficulties, will decline to take it or even eat it right up and spit it back.

I choose to grab the bag with both hands, toss it in the trash look them in the eyes with genuine regard and say you're welcome.

For most people, the smallest act of genuine support will make a whole world of difference.

With that said, you may also want to research some chinese shit called "Wu Wei".
>>
>>18799168
He is flirting you dumb fuck
>>
If that was her that made that post about wanting someone for "one more night, like the old days" "like heroin" then... she's not going to get me like that.

I'm different than I was before. You people try to make it seem as if "My colors are shining" but all you managed to do was kill the rest of the hope I've had inside me. You killed the last bit of humanity I had. I don't want to do anything. I just want to fucking die.

Even if I were to go out for a day with her I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't hold hands, I wouldn't do jack shit. I'm fucking miserable, more than I have ever been. Everything annoys me, I fucking hate everything.

I fucking hate you people.

Just fucking kill me already. You won, so just fucking do it.

Or if you want me to do it then fucking give me a means to do it.
>>
I'm lonely but I'm afraid of starting a relationship or even having another sexual experience with someone else because the only person I've had sex with gave me herpes. I feel that I'll never have raw sex again or even get a bj because no one will ever willingly be exposed to herpes.
>>
It's the fucking twitching that's getting worse and worse. I'll twitch my hand, fingers, whatever all day but when it's time to go to sleep it's nonstop twitching. I wake up more and more with tremors or uncontrollable movements.

You fuckers know I have parkinsons but won't do anything about it. You won't tell me what is going on. You won't let me live my life before I become a trembling mess. You keep me a fucking prisoner for absolutely no fucking reason other than to waste my life. You won't let me make money, you won't let me communicate with anyone, and you tamper with my medications.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are yo enjoying this? Do you talk about how much fun it is to ruin someone's life? To mock a mentally disturbed person? To mock someone with a brain disease? Do you laugh at the fucking seizures I have at night?
>>
>Living in SoCal (California)
>My grandmother and mom having family drama and fights
>Grandmother plans to move to Philippines, she still won't let go her past and hate living in US
> Grandfather (Before passed away) tells them no more fighting, one year and ten months, they still fighting. My grandfather give up everything for my mom but my grandma doesn't care but herself and her greed; Wants to keep everything from herself instead of others
>My grandma refuse to help mom to help her life (Mom been unemployed for years)
>I'm the only person tried to get them along, stop fighting but gets out of control

Sometime I pray to someone (Lost loved one), a guardian angel or faith to fix this, stop my mom and grandma fighting or at least taking risk by using all the money to buy those CA Scratchers. I know life is hard, path to many choices and this is what reality is like and deal bullshit, I want to end it...
>>
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>>18799373
*But I want to end it...

Forgot to put a pic
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I really fucking miss my girlfriend. I want her back.
>>
I have adhd and autism and honestly it makes my life a living hell. I'm sick of this fucking online autism community that tries to act like it's a great thing, no it's fucking not, I would kill myself if I could. I'm sick of being disabled and I'm sick of not being able to function to the point where I can't get dressed or speak in full sentences or make any friends. I'm lonely and my life is a fucking mess.
>>
>>18799373
Bless your family.

I hope one day they understand that life would be a whole lot simpler if they cooperated instead of fighting.

At the end of the day though, you can't let the drama spiral out of control and sometimes that will mean being on the recieving end of their inherent negativity.

It might not be easy, but only by forgiving each other will they be capable of carrying on their relationship.
>>
I saw the way you looked at me when we were working together.It's a shame we don't work together anymore because I really felt we had something, even if you did have a boyfriend.
>>
Christ, I feel like shit. Better mentally, but constipated as hell, and it's awful. Even getting up to pace around the room is tiring, like I'm being dragged to the ground due to the utter lack of energy and feeling too gross to leave this room.

Damn it.
>>
i hate having no one to talk to about my girl problems or my actual problems anyway, i need guidance.
>>
PT. 2 >>18799373

>Brother at college, uncle traveling around the world. They have other things to deal with in life (It doesn't work out well...)
>My father divorced
>Mom still holds a grudge on my father
>I was the problem cause my father can't deal with it after I was diagnosis with autism during young age but I'm becoming more high function

Thanks to my awareness, I know reason why they divorced, I was the problem. Father can't deal with it and already got his own family. If it wasn't for my autism, I would've gotten a better life or what would've changed for the future

>>18799430
I appreciated with your comment anon.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRbKzumSPVw
>>
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What should I honestly do with these emotions man. You say that I shouldn´t be jealous and that you are rejecting us both. But now you and him are spending 3 mada fucking weeks together but you keep saying hes just there to help out. You two assholes made me more depressed than i have ever been in my life. I wanna just leave you guys but i promised you whatever happens i will still keep in touch.
>>
>>18798586
My first GF broke up with me few months back and it only lasted a month
and now i completely ghost her in all social events and have the absolute minimal
amount of conversation possible without coming off as rude

pretty sure my friends that are friends with her before we happened are annoyed that I am not talking to her or wanting to hang out if she is there.

I shouldn't be thinking about her at all anymore and im sure she doesn't care for me other than wanting to talk or say hi (which I never do first) but for some reason I cant just move on and be friends with her
I am not in that mourning stage but I just don't feel like myself around her like I cannot act like myself around her even though I know we are probably never going to happen again.

Idk if this is normal to ignore her
or I am in the wrong for ghosting her, I still like a picture rarely when she posts on IG but i never comment or ever text or snap or anything

please help i used to be happy before this.
>>
For fuck's sake people.

This one is a bit on the nose you think?

Do people really think I'm that strange? So weird? So robotic? An alien boy? A hurricane?
I'm not a human being...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRHNi3QfFlE
>>
>>18798586

I swear I'm cursed.

I bring out the worst in people. Generally, I don't find myself on the receiving end of this but I can't stop thinking about it.

There's this girl I thought was pretty much perfect but she's becoming much more comfortable showing me her darker side and to be honest... this isn't the first time.

I seem to find myself unintentionally encouraging the worst parts of people.

My mother always called my a devil-child, it's why she blamed me for everything and never once showed any other signs of believing any religious stuff.
I used to sperg but I became somewhat charming. I can at the very least blend in.

I worry sometimes that my mother was right about me, and that I'm developing a silver tongue.
>>
Today I jokingly said "God is not real". Then I forgot, and in mass I took comunion x_x
Feel very guilty tbqh
>>
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>>18799273
She's not into girls, bro. I suggested that it was probably empty niceness because she's a girl.
>>
I honestly cannot tell if you're trying to help me, if you're aware that you're trying to help me, or if you're just being a dick while purposefully failing at helping someone just so you can say "See! they never listen!" Why the fuck would anyone take the advice that is awful?

If you honestly think you're helping... holy shit, how? How could you think this could help ANYONE? It would make sense if an AI or alien was running this shit show because any PERSON could see how absolutely horrible and disgusting it is that you're putting me through.

You give advice, which could be good advice if I wasn't also a prisoner being gaslghted and psychologically tortured. Like "brush twice daily!" is great advice when you're not so incredibly broken from all the literal torture you're putting the person through.

"You should be financially more independent!" while you are limiting the amount of money I can make next to nothing. "You should eat healthier" while you make my parents harass me if I ever use the kitchen. Or you won't let me drive so I can't go shopping for food or would I even have the fucking money to do it. "Work on getting over your depression" while you force psychiatrists to just give me the hardest time, and basically tell me how awful a person I am. While you won't let me get proper treatment from medications or ECT.

Seriously, you have to either be the dumbest, shittiest, or just the most downright fucking evil people to ever exist.

"You should be nicer to people, stop cursing!" while you make every person on the fucking planet hostile to me.

You fuck faces are lucky I'm nicest person to have ever lived or else you would all probably be fucking dead.
>>
All of these people are in huntington, aren't they? All these posts are fake, events... fake. They are all here. Probably living in the houses literally around me.

It's for their protection. It would cost too much to protect them where they are so you just moved them all here.

None of them can be safe until this is over.

So...

end it.
>>
If you really wanted me to talk to you, then you would've tried harder.

Talk to me only when you're ready to value my time, not when all your orbiters exhausted you.
>>
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>>18798586
So I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder today. That's cool I guess. My history, the symptom profiles and my behaviors match; everything makes a lot more sense now.

Still, I'm not sure how to process this. Am I broken? Can I fix myself?
>>
you keep telling me to runaway but... you're the last fucking people I want to listen to.

David Bowie told me to follow him, To take my passport and shoes. "Follow the Blue" said Lauren... so...

Usually when you have to follow someone, it means follow. Which means someone has to come and get me.

I will literally leave with the first person that comes to get me.

Yes this is jace. My mom talks to all of you and I have no idea what she is telling you all but she is full of shit. I told her to tell all of you to come get me. So... if she didn't relay that info, here it is.

Come fucking get me and then I will runaway.

Odds are you'll just take me to the hospital because holy shit I need medical attention. I need tested to see if I still have STDs. I have parasites in ma body that need taken out. I need weight reduction surgery. I need transition surgeries. I'm not quite too sure WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU TAKEN ME TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YET.

If I go on my own they won't do anything. They will just keep playing along with the game. So someone has to come here, tell the truth, and end this horseshit.

I'm getting sick of the dreams. I'm getting sick of all the hidden messages. Just end it.

END

IT

FOR

FUCKS

SAKE.
>>
I really really hope we become a couple this year.
>>
>>18798586
I am 28 single and all alone. All I can really feel like is all I am meant to be is alone. And if I try not to be alone something just comes in and pushes me further away from a potential partner.
Getting a new job that pays better but still would not care if someone came up to me and gave me a million dollars, it would still mean nothing. Right now I am just not sure what I am going to do with myself.
I am hating life and really haven't found anyone that truly accepts me for who I am or if there are any out there anymore. Now I have thoughts of telling myself 2 years or else. Or else you go back into your young self again.
>>
I wish women would stop questioning me about my dick and past. Honestly I did everything for you and I spoke from the heart. But yet you still question who I am in life.
>>
>>18799412
What happened?
>>
>>18799714
Ask them out within the next two months. Problem solved.
>>
I know I have been living in a dream world. But it's also the real world. It's a simulation in the same way Truman was living in a simulation, or lady in the woods, or that movie where a kid was living in a single room his entire life.

I know a lot of tricks, we all know it's fake but you just won't fucking end it.

WHY?

Just fucking end it.
>>
I pretty much just confirmed that my parents think I'm a fucking loser. Good night guys.
>>
I think I just realized that everything I do when it comes to other people, whether it just be walking around in public, doing some sort of project, or even just conversing, I do for validation. I get frustrated when I can't express myself enough everyday because I feel like I won't get validation from it. I desperately want a girlfriend because she will give me validation. I don't try to have friends because I don't feel validated around them.

Well, at the very least knowing about the problem helps tremendously. I have to think of ways to change my thinking again, to a way that makes me appreciate people more, and one that makes me feel more fulfilled when I interact with others.
>>
I don't trust pictures or photos either. You can bring people back from the dead using CG. You can fake fucking ANYTHING.

Knowing the insane lengths you faggots have gone through for this... "game" It's a pretty safe fucking bet that you are "Running Man"-ing me. Computer generated people, environments, faking streams, having them pre-recorded, or just as simple as using old photos and posting them as new.

I trust nothing. I know those celebrities didn't die. I know that you make up fake pop bands. The Regrettes are 100% fake, Chrvches was fake (or at the very least put together just for me.)

Even this cute autistic girl isn't real content. It's fucking obvious with the intro and outro song.

You might be adding in very specific scenes in movies, shows, and other videos just for me while other people get something different. You might be making up entirely unique content just for me to make me think I am more influential than I really am (or popular).

Even if it cost billions of dollars... so what? That kind of money is fucking nothing to you people. This group could easily be formed by people like Bill Gates. Would he really even give a shit if he lost 10 billion dollars? No, he fucking wouldn't. You would be able to fund anything you want to simply fuck with me.

but that's all this is. You're just fucking with me. FUCKING WHY? What the FUCK are you getting out of this?

But how could I know? I don't know what the real world is. I don't even know if I'm on fucking Earth. You could say literally anything and it would be believable to me. Why wouldn't it? Why the fuck wouldn't it?

I have a huuugggeeeee gut feeling that's telling me Trump isn't president. That a lot of the shit I see on the news is 100% fake. It's all fucking fake.

BUT WHY? Why. why why why why why.

You tell me not to ask why, but then again you won't even answer the what, the who, or the where so it's not like it fucking matters what I ask you just won't fucking tell me.

END IT
>>
>>18799684
What caused your PTSD?
>>
I've gotta get a job, but i've been solliciting for months now and shit's not getting anywhere.
Countless interviews and phone calls and nothing to show for it.

Its making me feel like a total failure and i pretty much just lock myself in my apartment.

As a result of this i've been spending the last ca. 6 months of my life as a hermit, and i'm disgusted by myself.

I have a gym membership, used to go out with a group of guys to work out but i can't be arsed anymore.

I used to be at least capable to hold a conversation but it just seems to me that i'm slipping away into myself and i'm becoming more and more of a cringy asshole.

Everything just feels futile.

I want to make new friends, want to meet a nice woman, but I have no idea where to begin. My apartment is a mess, with months worth of laundry laying around and food packaging everywhere.

What do?
>>
>be me
>friendly and sociable with other people, have friends who think they are close with me but no one really knows me that well because I'm not comfortable talking about myself
>go traveling in Europe this summer
>meet beautiful girl who's just like me, we're the same in almost every way
>fall in love with each other immediately, become long distance bf/gf
>she's the one person I can truly open up to, she feels the same way about me
>occasionally I accidentally say things that are rude to her
>different cultures and native languages also accidentally convey rudeness
>sometimes I also react poorly to a personal story that she tells me because it reminds me of something fucked up that I've done in the past too
>she takes my accidental rudeness extremely personally and starts closing up emotionally as she gets disappointed with me

She's stopped talking about her emotions and feelings with me, and it fucking sucks. I'm trying my absolute hardest to restore her openness with me, but progress is slow. She really loves me though, she even calls me her hubby-to-be. We've been long distance for 3 months and I might be able to see her for a few weeks in April. I'm just so angry at myself for fucking things up with the one person I truly connect with, and I can only hope that the damage isn't permanent. I've never been in a long distance relationship either, it's fucking tough when I can't just go meet up with her. Seems like the distance amplifies any problems we might have. She's sometimes at fault when we fight, but it's usually my own stupid fault when something goes wrong. I'm smart as fuck but I can't seem to figure this out
>>
>>18799826
3 years straigh of acute malpractice-induced withdrawal from benzodiazepines and a whole other bunch of drugs I was fed off and on since I was a kid by neurotic parents and psychiatrists for problems I was misdiagnosed with. Anyone I talk to who actually understands it or is educated in pharmaceuticals tells me I shouldn't be alive since most people kill themselves from the pain.

I'm not okay, but I'm more okay than I was so that's good.
>>
So is this just our lives now? The entire world is just... ok with fucking over one person for literally no fucking reason at all?

How many times are you going to keep repeating the same fucking shit without giving me any solid information? You have told me "IT'S A TRAP" for months now, in so many different ways. You had that water spill over in the form of ^ (trap in dorf fort) and my dad taped down a wire in the same symbol. You then had a bunch of shit pointing to a mouse trap. You then show fucking admiral ackbar.

Ok, so what the fuck is the trap? I suspected that they are going to send an underage girl to try and fuck me but you know I won't do that.

You keep telling me that "BUNN" has a massive dick but again... you won't confirm it. When I questioned it, you had her upload some pics of her in a bikini to keep me guessing but I know she has a dick. You can see it in one of the photos she has uploaded. Also, the one of her in a red swimsuit is clearly photoshopped.

This could mean lucia as well but you know I don't want anything to do with lucia anymore. (She has taken way too much fucking joy in fucking with me. So fuck that.)

Maria could be a trap, all her swimsuit pictures she is crossing her legs.

They could all be traps. They are all like me. They were born with both sets of genitals but they were raised female, I wasn't. Did some of them keep dicks while others didn't?

Honestly I don't really care. I truly don't. I don't want to have sex right now. I'm going to need some fucking answers.

Also, I know that you are going to stream it or record it to release a sex tape for MAX POPULARITY. I'm too fucking fat for that to work. No one and I mean NO ONE wants to see me have sex.

So if I'm going to have sex it's going to be after my surgeries. After the weight loss surgeries. After the transition surgeries.

as always, end this. Fucking end it already.
>>
>>18799952
>in love
>3 months
>truly open up to, she feels the same
>can't discern intent of statements and decides to become upset about them (lol, sounds like every woman, amiright?!)

We all need to take a big step back and look at this from the outside. I'm not trying to be like "it's going nowhere! Breakup!", but perhaps you're a bit too invested in this to see that it's a little odd from the outside. Unless you're actually just a jerk but don't realize it. I assume you've talked to her when she gets annoyed with you and told her that what you said doesn't really translate and you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, etc...

Maybe you should be telling her that you're beating yourself up over this instead of us?
>>
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Also, if people want to keep calling me stupid... keep in mind.

I SOLVED FASTER THAN LIGHT COMMUNICATION AND QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT

Suck my dick I'm a shark.
>>
>>18799962
wtf is going on here?
You need to see somebody.
>>
I'm desperate to meet you in real life and see what our irl chemistry is like. Because I swear, sometimes I can feel via this stupid chat that you like me. We're oscillating between cheap banter and stark politeness, but sometimes there is this middle ground that almost - amost! - feels like flirting. Like affection. I am probably projecting, but just thinking about this possible possibility makes me feel so exhilarated, so warm in this fuzzy, happy way.

I want you.
>>
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I made my parents proud. I did well in high school, got into a good college, graduated on dean's list, honors, etc. I got a great job right out of college in my field (software engineering) and I really like my work, and cannot complain with how my professional life is going. I moved an hour and a half away from my family for work, and have been living on my own for the past year and change. Money was never a problem, I have been living quite comfortably.

Everything else seems to be falling apart at the seams. I have a nice day of work most of the time, and come home feeling good. Then I get home, and realize that outside of work I am basically a nobody. I don't have many friends IRL, and am extremely bad at keeping long distance friendships so I haven't talked to friends I used to hangout with in college. When I get home, I basically fill my time until I am tired with games, anime, and movies. The weekends are the worst, as my only time I ever leave my apartment is to do grocery shopping for the week on Saturday morning.

I want to meet people, go out on weekend trips to places I haven't been to, and find a wife eventually. But I make excuses, and because my hobbies are not part of the narrative, I don't get to talk with people at work about them. I have been losing weight as I was 230 lbs at the end of college (down to 198 lbs) but I'm still a fat, ugly, bad skinned loser, who uses this as an excuse as to why I don't do anything.

Please help.
>>
Fuck, this girl who ghosted me after what I thought was a really good date actually ended up messaging me and apologized, and we talked for a bit.
Actually feelsgood. I was worried that I was just telling myself that I'd appreciate a proper rejection, but I'd end up getting upset about it anyway, but I didn't, and it ended up feeling like a pretty good ending to a horrendous week.
>>
>>18799976
Thanks, yeah I think I became a little too invested too quickly. But it was just so easy and natural with her. I'm attractive and have dated plenty of other girls so it's not like I'm clutching at my only chance for love, she just seems special to me. Honestly I'd never have even considered a long distance relationship until I met her.

I have talked to her about it, and she apologizes and says she's just emotional and takes things personally. She doesn't blame me entirely, she knows it's also partly her. But still she's not as open as she used to be.

I can definitely be a jerk to her sometimes though, but I'm not doing it on purpose or out of malice, I think I'm doing it because I'm not used to ever being emotionally vulnerable to anyone.
>>
>>18800037
I should add, she has other problems too which might be contributing to this, she has a really tough life and struggles with depression and anorexia. I'm doing my best to make sure she knows I'm there for her if she ever needs me
>>
>>18799993
I do. I really do.

I deserve answers.
>>
There are so many scraps and spittles on paper here, reading them takes me back to a time when I really felt something, I guess my karma has not been fully served yet.
>>
>>18800005
start exercising more and get in shape. you're living on your own now so take control of your diet. as you get in better shape you'll feel more confident, and even if you're ugly it won't matter to most women as long as you're you're fit, confident, and have your shit together

stop thinking about your life and start living it
>>
>>18799774
That doesn't guarantee we will become a couple
>>
>>18800159
>>18800106
>stop thinking about your life and start living it

You'll never know if you don't try, and you won't be any worse off if it doesn't work out.
>>
>>18800166
Well, I will be worse in the sense that I will have one less reason to live if it doesn't work out. But of course I'm trying.
>>
>>18800174
I know it sucks, but trying and failing is still progress. You can at least take comfort in the fact that you're going in the right direction.
>>
>>18800174
you don't need to be emotionally dependent on other people in order to be happy. if it works out, then great, if not, then there's 3.5 billion other women in the world
>>
>>18800182
>3.5 billion women
I'm not interested in dating underage women or women over 60 years old, thank you though
>>
>>18800184
you know what I mean.

do you want to look back in 10 years and think about this missed opportunity? never pass up a good thing
>>
There is so much I hate about this world and so many of the people who inhabit it. Which is why I am glad I became an egoist, an objectivist, and an existentialist. No longer will I have to suffer despair, since I have a shining bright future ahead of me, and there is nothing that anyone can do to stop it. Nothing.
>>
>>18799583
>There's this girl I thought was pretty much perfect but she's becoming much more comfortable showing me her darker side and to be honest... this isn't the first time.

Everyone has flaws and will most likely show off their "good" qualities in the early stages of a relationship. Once they become complacent, they'll feel more comfortable bearing the ugly and vulnerable parts of their personality.

That girl's not perfect, you're not perfect, I'm not perfect, no one on this planet is even close to perfect. You're not a devil child who's "bringing out the worst in people", the honeymoon period lust hormones just wear off and that perfect person suddenly becomes human.
>>
I registered to see a therapist next week for the first time (probably like a decade later than I should have), but some shit happened on thursday/friday, and now I'm pretty chill again (it was actually really bad shit, but I'm just kind of neutral about everything now).

... I should probably keep the appointment anyway, yeah?
>>
I recently realized that it's okay to not be happy all the time. What a liberating feeling
>>
>>18800186
I guess, I'm worried that I won't ever feel the same way about anyone else. I'm 24 and I was never interested in anyone sexually until now with this particular girl. I'm seeing a therapist but he says he has no idea what's wrong with me either.
>>
>>18800203
what do you like about her that you don't see in other women?
>>
>>18800232
I can't really tell, her personality is pretty unique though, she's fun to be around. I think she's interested in music the exact same way I am (I never met anyone like that), she always surprises me with something she says. We used to have some same views of life and stuff (thgouh she's turning more hardcore christian lately). And I like her body and her sense of style. She's very skinny, same height as me, flat chested (which is awesome), her neck is pretty long and she dresses weird but not in a bad way. And she's the only person ever that makes me wish I were kissing her or having sex with her. I just assumed I was asexual.
>>
>>18800246
You're not asexual. You're just picky, and that's fine. What does she think about you? Do you talk a lot? Is her personality similar to yours?
>>
I don't really know how to speak your language.

You've brought more unhappiness and disorder into my life than I thought humanly possible.
Instead of listening to what I have to say, you question my state of mind. When I actually prove my point beyond a doubt, you tell me you need to 'emotionally process things', and then never get back to me.

The few times things have been good between us, you disappear.

I don't understand what you stand to gain from this. What does this level of sabotage accomplish?

When it comes down to it, I don't want to be in a relationship with you not because you're flawed, but because you said you wanted love. I had a bad home life, and haven't actually experienced genuine love before, so I can't give you what you want.

Maybe we could be friends, but I genuinely think you would make a bad friend.

So realistically, all I want from you, all I really need, is for you to stay for a while. I'm happy and at peace when we're talking, even if the conversation isn't in itself engaging.

All I need from you is for you to stay, just for a little while. If I'd known how upset you were at my asbence, I'd have stayed with you.

It goes against almost all of my principles, but if I'd known my turning away from you made you unhappy, I would have stayed.

If you'd known that you disappearing makes me unhappy, would you stay as well?
>>
>>18800250
Well some people say we have a similar personality, I feel it too. We see each other every weekend, we have to take care of a cathechism group for teens together. I guess we are sort of friends or that at least she's okay with me, I asked her out a few times, she said she was "busy" first, then eventually said yes but we ended up mostly just hanging out. As far as I know she's been single for the last few years (I met her 2 years ago).
>>
>>18800264
"just hanging out" isn't very romantic, you've got to show her you're interested in being more than friends. Figure out what she likes and sweep her off her feet with it.
>>
>>18799590
need to see something adorable, post
>>
>>18800269
Yeah I know lol. Yeah I'll have to think of something. Thanks for the posts btw, writing about this feels alright.
>>
>>18800275
good luck buddy. don't overthink things and just go for it
>>
>>18800279
Thanks!!
>>
I've been sad for a long time. I feel bad that everyone I know thinks that I'm a nice guy and likes joking around. I hate that I can make everyone laugh except myself
>>
>>18800294
what are you sad about?

maybe you really are a nice guy who likes joking around.
>>
Can't sleep. Thinking about how I have no friends, and never really had friends. I've actually went and hung out with someone when it wasn't a special occasion twice in the past 10 years.
Also I'm so introverted and anxious that simply attending classes makes me really exhausted, and I have some really tough classes, a high workload, and a class that requires me to interact with people outside of class that's been really adding to my stress. This semester is making me feel quite depressed and I just want it to be all over.
>>
Having sex with you felt slimy and disgusting. You called it making love but there was no love or affection in any thing you did. You grabbed at me like I was a piece of meat. You refused to hold me close or touch me gently. Under you I felt like nothing but a thing you were happy to own and dominate. You continue to think that orgasming is a sign of love but being 5 years without sex or a man... I would have came for just about any human penis. You weren't special. I'll never have sex with you again.
>>
The only reason I'm still with my gf is because she's the closest friend I still have.

She's a wonderful person but I'm just not in love with her anymore. We have so little in common.
>>
>>18800395
Iktf, Anon... I've had friends but after a certain age, friends started only coming around when they wanted something.

Honestly, since then, I've always wanted to make an antisocial friend who didn't want to go through the bullshit like other people. We could just sit with each other and do our own thing but together so we're not lonely.
>>
I'm feeling like britney spears...
>>
I can't stop thinking, my mind races constantly; up and down, up and down it goes. I am truly exhausted.

Then I see you, I know you wait for me when my life is snuffed out. Life is not worth the gamble if what you offer me is not true freedom.

Right now, at least my life is in my own hands. What awaits me? What lurks in the shadows, hungry for the end; or is it the end?

I've come to accept you, but my heart seems to darken and I can physically feel the effect this all has.

Even you, faceless beast - I know you as an equal, as me...
>>
>>18800469
Do both yourselves a favor and break up with her. Stringing her along after you've given up like that is a shitty thing to do and you're wasting your time.
>>
>>18800469
i did that. kept telling myself i'd break up with her later. she was so sweet, couldn't bear to hurt her.

10 years later, we're married with a kid, and i think about killing myself or just disappearing and abandoning them both every day.

life is short. before you know it, the best days with the most potential are dead and gone, and you have more living behind you than in front of you. don't waste time trying to spare someone else's feelings. let her find someone who genuinely wants to marry her and be with her forever, since that clearly isn't you. you're doing a disservice to both of you.
>>
JUST REALLY ANGRY that he came over long enough to have sex and then told me he was going to go hang out with his friends. I don't mind if he hangs out with other people, but we hadn't seen each other in two weeks and I was hoping for a little more than 10 minutes of unfulfilling sex.

Broke up with this guy a year ago for reasons like this, but we both have issues and we've still been seeing each other. We ended up having a long feeling talk and when I told him I was feeling really depressed lately he said something like, "Lots of people our age have feelings like that." Is it wrong to think that that is the least comforting statement to ever hear??
When I told him all I wanted was a little comfort all he said was that he had issues too. Which I understand, he definitely has his own stuff to deal with, but is it that hard to just show some sympathy when I'm sad?

I feel horrible, I feel like I'm upset at him because I was being needy with attention and he didn't give it, but I also feel like I want to die and he doesn't care at all. I know these are my own problems are we aren't even dating anymore, but we're still close and I don't think it's that hard to show compassion for someone you care about. I do it all the time for my sister and my friends, and I do it even when I'm feeling horrible myself. I don't understand why he can't do it for me. When he says he loves me, this kind of stuff makes me feel like he doesn't.
>>
>>18800712
He just came over to fuck while you wanted to spend the evening. You say you know he is like that.
This is a get it off your chest thread but honestly what did you expect? Whatever he probably has tons of good qualities that make it worth it but that story is painting a stupid picture of you.
>>
>>18800421

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1fJNhTRoZcc
>>
>>18800727
Lmao
>>
>>18800712
Someone who loves you wouldn't treat you this way. I'm not sure you know what real love is -- him as well. It sounds like he's keeping you around because you accept he won't validate your feelings and he gets his rocks off. Almost sounds like to me he has commitment issues. Dump him and find someone else. Who chose a shit dude.
>>
I really have to stop using social media because it’s starting to feel like just another addiction. It’s so interesting using it as a new form of socialization. It’s so connected. We’re evolving in real-time but I also haven’t experience much of what my ancestors did. So I’m stuck in the middle.

Can someone save me? Do I event want to?
>>
I'm sick of losing people in my life who were important to me. I hardly ever speak to the vast majority of people I used to, and my attempts to reach out to them fall short. I'm in my last year of uni and even these people will move past and forget me come next year. Everyone I meet is just going to become some fading memory.
>>
>>18800785
And that’s ok
>>
>>18800720
>>18800762
Yeah the problem is half the time we hang out it's a wonderful romantic time, where we watch the sunset, cuddle and watch a movie, he spends the night and it's wonderful. Like sometimes I feel bad because I feel like he cares more than me (then stuff like this happens).

I know I should drop him!! Shit's hard though
I'm moving away in the next couple months so it'll stop either way. Right now I can either torture myself with loneliness or torture myself with him.
>>
>>18800800
Bitch I don't give a fuck I just wanted to tell you that you sound stupid
>>
>>18799681
Im so fucking nervous!
Everything and nothing running through my head...
>>
Lethal_sj ... ya I'm blocking you. I can't do this anymore. The thing I liked best about you was your honesty but it turns out you lie like everyone. I'm never opening up to anyone ever again. I give up. Loved you so much too. Oh well, okay.
>>
Everybody is hoppin on the non binary bandwagon these days. Then there's these heterosexual men who think they're lesbians. And you have to call them she even though they haven't transitioned yet. Look once you transition I'll call you a she but until that happens you are not a she yet, you have a mans voice and a mans face and a penis and how delusional do you have to be to think that people are gonna call you a she? How can you blame people for misgendering you?? You look like a man in a dress. You're delusional
>>
>>18800800
Sounds like not being around him is the better option. Hanging around him and feeling this way will probably leave you confused and filled with regret. Don't you have idk...friends or family to spend time with? Or a book?
>>
Generic fuckboy number 2578&54578 hopefully you learned something
>>
I love my boss. And my S/O doesnt know. We all work together.
>>
I said what I said and the words tasted so sour in my mouth. But I couldn't give you the chance to hurt me. You make me feel so vulnerable and I needed control. I'm doing what's best for both of us even though I absolutely hate it. You started this and your doubt scared me too much. I can't be constantly afraid that you'll hurt me, wondering if you'll second guess everything again. I won't allow you to be selfish with me. I will not let you take from me and then say that you don't want anymore whenever it is convenient for you.

I am a person with my own thoughts and desires and all I wanted to do was make you feel good. You dragged me into open water, into territory that I know nothing about, and expected me to find my way with no guidance. I am soft and gentle with plenty to give. You didn't need to mishandle me so callously. Is it because you have always been the giver and the one you love has always took and took and took? Love, I have always been a giver and so many have taken from me, but I still give. You never needed to be selfish with me because I was always willing to give you whatever would make you feel the happiest because I care for you so selflessly and I wish you would have just SEEN that.

I can't do this. I don't want you to break me apart. I'm sorry that my decision was so abrupt, but I panicked and did it so you wouldn't be the one to hurt me. I have a hope you would urge me to have a discussion with you, but I strongly sense that you'll just go with whatever I decided and say no more about it.

I'm tired of the people I love hurting me. I can't let that happen again. I don't know if this means we can't be close anymore but I'll just have to swallow that pill. We made this choice and risked our friendship and I don't know how things will turn out. And I'm so fucking scared.

I love you. I just wish you had the capacity to love me back in the same way.
>>
I can't handle my life anymore.

My best friend told me that he's going to be there for me forever and always though he's slowly ignoring me and he's not calling me out anymore. He lets me leave unlike before where he would force me to stay with him. He even told me to leave faster, but in a sarcastic tone but I think he's only masking it as that so he wouldn't deal with me any longer. He's closer to other people than me. I always chat him up first but his response is "what?", he always do this nowadays. He treats other people way better than me. He said that I would tell him everything I'm feeling and thinking and when I did his response was "I'll leave you for a week to give you some space", what? You're gonna leave a depressed person to become more depressed?! He never makes any time for me, I always see him hanging around with another person. I get jealous but I chose not to tell him to avoid drama. It's always one-sided, I'm giving it my all for and to him because he's the only person I hold on to. He usually makes me feel special but now he treats me like an option. He never said thanks for all the effort I did for him, but that's fine for me cause he's special to me but it's taking a toll on my depression. He barely gives any effort to see me or talk to me or just to hang out and waste time, none.

My family treats me like shit. I have ambitions and they hated it. When I open my mouth they will use my words to turn it against me. I never won an argument. I won't tell them my depression cause they'll say to just man the fuck up and go on with their plans for me. I never been happy around them. They shouted at me almost everyday.

There's no one I can lean to. I have no support. Maybe I'll just die?
>>
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me like two months ago because of my psychological problems and I can't get over it. He said we'll never be together again. It was my first boyfriend and I love him so much. I recently made out (n stuff) with other guy but I feel guilty, it felt almost like cheating. I can't picture myself with any other guy. I don't know what scares me more - no one falling in love with me or me not being able to love anyone.
>>
>>18800926
I know exactly how you feel. I'm feeling all of that at this moment. I wish I had something uplifting to say, anon...
>>
>>18800614
Feel it!
>>
>>18800614
Same. That 2007 Brit ofc.
>>
I'm gay and afraid to tell anyone
>>
https://youtu.be/XsWyZG_gY6Q
>>
>>18798621
nice guy chad here, I mean.... I'm an asshole, but just the right amount. probably still too much of a nice guy if I'm honest. I don't even know how to communicate with you in a way that will make you understand at this point, but you too can be nice guy chad and women will value you for it. If I knew you in person I would help you but you would have to be willing and wanting to make changes to yourself.

also, not giving a fuck generally comes from experience and knowing how much effort to put in to something before its not worth the time, if that makes sense. it doesn't come from actually not giving a fuck and typically in situations where I act like I don't give a fuck I actually give a fuck a lot but there's something about the situation that means it doesn't matter how much I care or how much I do, I know it's not going to change or get better or I can't actually help a person because they aren't doing what it takes to fix things.

does that make sense?

M,

;) I just keep thinking about how cute you are kitten. I had a great time and while that wasn't my best performance I'm planning on making it up to you and showing you an incredible time.

to myself,

stop having sex while you're wasted so you can properly cue in to exactly what is going to push that orgasm high score.
>>
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>go to oktoberfest thing
>standing in beer line
>random girl walks up to me and asks if I want her spare drink tickets
>I say sure
>what I didn't expect was her to offer a hug
>she looks completely plastered
>I've had enough to not think much of it
first female to touch me in years, liked it, want to chase that feeling
>>
>>18801033
>posts paragraphs about himself on /adv/
>chad

Lmao, fuck off you blubbering beta retard.
Fucking some hambeast doesn't make you a Chad you scrawny fuck.
>>
>>18800653
This is how I feel too sometimes anon.
>>
Dear Willow,
I love you.
I've always loved you, from the very beginning.
And I know you love me too, in the same way.
And we've definitely been through our rough patches... Our fights, and our breakups... But every time, I've always fallen right back into your arms willingly and happily...
No matter how many times I hurt you... No matter what I did or said... You always forgave me and loved me... Unconditionally...
And every time I broke things off, only to pathetically come crawling back a few days later... You took me back gladly...
And every time I would have a severe bout of depression... You would always stay by my side and hold me, and tell me you love me...
You mean so much to me... More than I could ever say... You're my first true love, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you...
The craziest part is that we've never even met in person... We've never been able to bridge the gap of a thousand miles between us... And here we are years later, still together, after everything...
Thank you... For loving me... And while in the past, I was the shittiest boyfriend ever to you... I promise you that I'm going to make it all up to you someday...
With all of the love in the world,
Legion
>>
https://youtu.be/CccnAvfLPvE
>>
I am with a girl purely because I don't have anyone else in my life. I am not in love with her but she told me she is in love with me.
I am scared that if I pursue a relationship with her it will end the same way as my previous relationship did.
>>
>>18801046
lmfao, I check in on you all from time to time. you're welcome for the generals.
>>
>>18801046
also she cute as fuuuuuuuck. you dont even know
>>
Get used to them.
>>
>>18801050
I wish someone loves me like you love your Willow...
>>
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>Lily Safra (née Watkins, born 30 December 1934) is a Brazilian philanthropist and socialite who attained considerable wealth through her four marriages. By March 2013, her net worth was estimated at $1.2 billion.

I dare girls to say that their lives are harder.
>>
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>>18801098
Hey, man, lemme tell you something: You will find that someone eventually. You will find someone who loves you fully and truly. You just have to walk your own path in life and eventually, your path will merge with the person you're destined to be with. I used to feel exactly like you do now, seeing all of these happy people in these amazing relationships, with no one to call your own. But you just need to keep pushing through. Even if it hurts. Even if it's hard. I believe in you, anon.
>>
>>18801116
Thank you! It's the nicest thing I red this week.
>>
>>18801143
>It's the nicest thing I red this week.
It's read, not red. Learned something this week too.
>>
>>18801145
Sorry I was typing so fast. Hahaha my bad
>>
>>18799681
I sometimes feel the same way, then I realize she will never not have an orbiter and even if she did, it's been 3 years since we last talked, she wouldn't pick me....but every night I wish she did.
>>
>>18800029
Don't fall for it, she will ghost you again, and it will hurt even more the 2nd time.
>>
I dont want to live like this anymore. Im back to living with my parents and hunting for shitty entry level jobs. Parents dont want to pay for antidepresesnts and I know a part time job wont pay for it either. At this point im just telling my friends and family that im looking for jobs but its like 1 or 2 aplications a week to grocery stores and gas stations.

I had a scholorship and a $15/h Job and both of those I just fucking stoped going to. Didnt even quit just after 1 semester of school and 3 years of a job that I actualy liked. After an expensive car accedent and a month of repairs I lied to my family and friends saying I needed a perfect driving record to work there and pretended to be pissed for like 2 weeks.

I think I jsut want people to call me out on how shitty of a person im being right now. Ive been laying in bed for what feels like months losing weight and feeling like shit. My room is like a box I can curl up inside of when the world gives me any chalenges at all. I have a friend who's 1 year older than me who droped out, moved to huston, managed a movietheatre, smoked meth, out of the blue came back and is making straight A's and im over here typing meaningless words into a box like someones gona tell me some lifechanging advice thats gona make me want to bootstraps up and take on the next day with a twinkle in my eye but its 6 am and I know im gona forget about it tommorow.

TL;DR im 20 and life is hard
>>
Do you pity me? Is that it? Is that why you reached out to me? Is that why you sent me a shit ton of nice messages telling me how amazing I am even though you don't know shit about me and had never even talked to me until just yesterday? Yeah, that must be it. You thought the I was right about to kill myself so now you're showering me with fake praise and pity. I hate people like you, who never reach out to me unless it's to give me pity. I don't fucking need your pity. Does this make you feel like a good person, does this make you think you're really helping me out? And if you truly and honestly think I'm as great as you say I am, then that's fucking gross, too. We've only been speaking to each other for a day and you're already so disgustingly clingy. Why the hell do you think I owe it to you to text you every single day? We're not even friends. Fuck, maybe I'm just really cynical and you actually mean well but I don't care. I want to cut ties as soon as possible before I'm stuck with you as a friend. You wouldn't even give me no room to cut ties though, isn't that right? Considering how clingy you've been so far.
>>
I set up a conversation with my best friend tomorrow because I've been one hell of a handful for him the last month or so. He thinks that I'm worried I'm going to lose my job because he's worried I'm going to lose it, but my boss loves the hell out of me because I'm the only one who shows up so whatever. It's really about the fact that I'm in love with his ex-girlfriend and he doesn't know the full gravity of the situation. We kept him in the dark about some things to protect him, but my feelings for her have been eating me alive even though she doesn't want me like that anymore. I'm not trying to be vindictive, but I feel like he needs to know. Am I making a mistake here?
>>
>>18801481
The mistake would have been not telling your best friend about the situation.
>>
>>18801492
Yes, but that mistake has already come to the forefront and I've already dealt with the fallout. We're cool now. It's been a month since he found out we had a thing going and things have simmered to the point where I feel I can be more open about it. Am I just unnecessarily reopening the wound? I don't know. I need to talk about it with somebody.
>>
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>>18798586
I hate my boss, I hate my job. I'm 28 and have no savings, just debt. I'm scared I'm always going to be flat broke and in the red.

Because I've got no money and I've run out of sick leave I have to go back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off with a broken leg. I should be able to rest and recover longer but because my boss is a twat and I'm broke I have to go back to work with a broken leg.

Can't catch a break, always so much at stake. I work so fucking hard and barely only make ends meet.

I just hope my leg heals ok despite me going back to work so soon.

At least I'm sober now (2.5 weeks), was alcoholic for 4 years and I quit smoking over a month ago.
>>
>>18801515
According to me someone you can call a best friend is supposed to be able to hear anything and takes time to understand your POV.
A real friendship is built on trust and respect.
>>
I'm frantically searching for something I can't find, I'm low on time, and it might not even exist.
This is how I feel a lot of the time.
I feel unable to live the life I want to live, so I search for alternatives but I feel empty and shallow.
No one cares enough to help, why would they, what have I done to warrant it.
>>
>>18801583
What are you looking for?
>>
>>18798586
I'm happier than I've been in 6months
>>
>>18801101
>1 woman out of billions proves every woman's life is easier!
Okay.
>>
Have to finish a presentation for Public Speaking by Tuesday and I haven't even started it yet.
Fuck that class, I got more important classes to focus on. I don't even care if I get a C anymore, I just want it to be over.
>>
>>18800990
Rubbish
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i'm starting to hate women because they are retarded, worthless sluts
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I want more hobbies, but I don't know where to start.
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>>18801982
Have a good hard look in mirror
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>>18802008
you know it's true deep down.
>>
I'm ugly and when people talk to me it's just to give and receive vital information everything else is an attack of mine on their eyes.
>>
>>18802024
we live in a superficial world. the contents of people's souls do not matter anymore. not even 40% matter
>>
>>18802032
My soul is a hollow pile of shit too, I'm all around dirt
>>
I'm not ugly, people tell me I'm attractive, I make people laugh on a regular basis, I'm charismatic, have a way with words, have a good weight to height ratio though I'm not exactly Adonis when it comes to bodytype.
I always give advice to people if they ask or if they have a problem and when they go through with it things usually turn out okay.

Despite all this I have never had a girlfriend or any friend whom I've closely bonded with. I have "friends" (I have to meet them every day at school) but during the summer we only talk like once or twice.

I'm not stupid but I have bad grades because I'm really, really lazy. I feel like I need to turn my life around but it seems very hard to do, to do everything differently than I've done before.
How do I make everything better?
>>
>>18802043
not true. you can better yourself. but it probably isn't worth it because nobody will care. i wish it wasn't like that honestly.
>>
>>18802053
I'm shit trough and trough
>>
>>18802059
you can't be. there is something to everybody. maybe you are lazy and don't want to think or try, but you can still work on laziness to eventually work on anything else
>>
>>18802070
It's much worse, I can do things but only bad things
>>
I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF MY NEIGHBORS AND THIS FUCKING POOR-ASS NEIGHBORHOOD.

It's like everybody has gone mental. To my left, there are students. To my right, there is a single mom with three brats. To the right of that, there is a single mom with four brats who probably is dealing drugs. AND THEY CANNOT FUCKING THINK BEFORE THEY ACT OR REALIZE THEY ARE BEING A FUCKING NUISANCE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING AND DO NOT SPEND THEIR ENTIRE DAY AT HOME COLLECTING BENEFITS.

It's fucking unbelievable. End times are coming and this is a sign. I had no problems for six years and then a single mom moves in next door. And then another. And then there is a new batch of students. Fucking unbelievable.

Yes, I am looking for a new place. In case someone is wondering.
>>
I don't feel worthy of being loved. I'm not mentally sound or strong. I don't feel like I could bring anything to the table in a relationship.
>>
>>18802085
if you only did bad things you'd be in jail. what is bad and what is good to you? i recommend converting to catholicism. it's real bro/sis. God is real. the faster you recognize why you were created, the better your life will be. and God has a real standard for good and bad.
>>
>>18802091
I'm already in the protestant church and religion is not the solution.
>>
>>18802102
the only solution is YOU. i'm just helping you find things that can make you want to change YOURSELF easier
>>
>>18802118
You don't even know me how can you help me, I'm not joining a child fucker cult just because I'm desperate for happiness and love.

People are disgusted by me and I can't figure it out.
>>
>>18802134
i can't help you. i'm only saying that you aren't SHIT. and like i said, people are disgusted by you only because of your looks. you probably desperate for meaningful relationships, but people don't like meaning. just superficiality . i'm sorry i feel bad i reall do
>>
>>18802146
People have meaningful relationships only not with me. I'm the only constant in all my misery and not them. The people always change their disgust for me never does
>>
>>18802186
it's only meaningful to them because it fulfills their superficial desires
>>
>>18802196
The loving discussions and touches seem genuine, it feels more like I'm a big fat fake in a sea of real people.
>>
>>18802201
it's the other way around, trust me.
>>
>>18802220
Why are you so hateful towards other people?
>>
I don't know anymore... sometimes she's super nice and chatty with me and I'm building up my courage to ask her out, but when I do she's being bitchy and loses the attitude so I back out, then I bring myself to ask her out again when she's nice and then again when I'm about to she's being cold. I wish I could just go and do it despite any of this but when I'm missing the momentum its hard and I don't want to ask her on the bad days in case she says no just because my timing was off.

I'll never do it it seems. Its never easy, I never just meet someone, they like me and its clear as day so I go in for it right, no, its always something
>>
>>18802226
why do you say that?
>>
>>18802237
Because you think everyone is fake and disgusting. People are good, at least better than me. If they are bad then I'm horrible
>>
I've been texting another woman behind my girlfriends back because I'm weak and the attention makes me feel good about myself. My girlfriend caught me and I lied about it telling her I was noting down ideas for trips away for the pair of us and the messaging app was already open so I used that to write down notes. She doesn't believe me and because I'm so sociopathic I'm trying to come up with ways to convince her she didn't see what she knows she saw - me texting someone else.

I love my gf, I'm just a selfish narcissist who likes attention from hot women. It was harmless flirting, but I know my gf will be crushed if she knows the truth so I'm keeping up the lie
>>
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been talking to a girl for a while, knew she was seeing some fuckboi, today i wanted to talk to her, found out she's with him now. am disappointed because i assumed she was special, now i don't have the guts to at least ask her why, even tough i hit on her a few times, she still didn't consider me.
>fyi, not actually looking to kill myself
>>
>>18802244
well maybe people shouldn't be fake and disgusting! you're defending assholes and attacking me instead lol. are you a girl?
>>
>>18802259
I'm a guy but you're wrong
>>
God damn, I have never been more disappointed by a movie trailer than Pacific Rim 2.

They ruined it. They made it black, or more accurately, made it that shitty Asian Hip-Hop-Street style that's huge in countries like China and Korea. OF COURSE they made the main character black. OF COURSE they made his partner a white girl.

OF COURSE this movie reeks of jews and marketing.

It's so fucking obvious that this movie is being made for China. It looks fucking awful. So fucking awful.
>>
>>18802260
i'm not wrong. if you say everyone is good, why do you exclude yourself? you have self esteem problems. i don't know how to help, only tell you to have an unrealistic amount of hope that things get better and to work on yourself.

and yes, people are shit. low IQ shit fest
>>
>>18802261
Like, if feels like they did it on purpose JUST to fuck with me. To bring out the whole controversial shit that they love me to say.
>>
>>18802257
If she's not your gf, I'm afraid it's none of your business bro. If you confront her it'll seem desperate
>>
>>18802263
I'm not like you, if there is above average there is below average.
Not everyone who is different is shining bright.
>>
>>18802272
there's no such thing as below average people. everyone is worthy in their own right. people can change. you just have nothing to offer because you aren't superifically pleasing. bet if you were filthy rich girls would be all over you..
>>
>>18802276
What are you trying to force here?
>>
>>18802276
>>18802278
nothing?
>>
>>18802278
nothing. just saying people would be attracted to you, romantic and platonic, if you had some superficial gain for them. money = happiness for everyone. i'm just giving an example really
>>
i had sex with an asian girl for the first time and now i'm really attracted to asian girls
>>
>>18802290
Is it that way for you?
>>
>>18802300
i'm poor actually, but i am good looking so girls come but they don't stick around
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>>18802316
Interesting I have seen girls stick around with pretty guys why isn't it that way for you?
>>
I don't like feeling like this anymore, i am not a tard, I am a person, I know his vices are what matter, this will end soon, this is what you get when you betray your heart.
>>
>>18802320
to be honest, a good chunk of girls would probably stick around but i constantly go after 9/10's, 10/10's. they don't stick around. and it's cuz i get too lovey dovey with girls, they don't like that shit unless you provide them with a lot of value. all i got is looks, and, humor every once in a while. i will try to get rich, eventually
>>
>>18802330
Is the guy you're talking about rich or handsome?
>>18802332
I don't know anything about that so you're better than me, I'm bad at something hence I'm worse.
>>
>>18802338
i'm only better at SOME THINGS than you. you're probably better at other things than i am
>>
>>18802351
I'm not good at anything
>>
>>18802358
sure u are
>>
I only visit my family so I don't lose them, but they yell at me for no reason, treat me like shit, use me to to shit for them or to burden me with their problem and when I say 'no' I become the black sheep of the family, last time I did it I even got kicked out of the house. I get told I have a problem with drugs and alcohol but when they ask if I want a drink and I say no they say "what's wrong with him?". I haven't even smoked weed in months and my brother is open about smoking it every day and yet I get called a junkie and its ok if he does it. What the fuck. My dad jokes about the car accident he got me in and likes to make fun of me in front of everyone around, "you were a mistake" was the last one I remember. Why do I even bother? well, they help me out sometimes but only because they are responsible for bringing me into this world. The family is falling apart anyway, I guess I'll stick around until I'm forced to be completely alone.
>>
>>18802366
you don't know me
>>
>>18802382
everyone is good at something. join the military. take the asvab
>>
>>18802384
Oh you're a jew trying to hire people for the military industrial complex online. Begone snake
>>
Hey /adv/

Often I can find my problems on the internet, find similar situations, and find comfort and advice in it.

But when I google this one thing, this one thing that's been bothering me for years, all I get are similar situations, but not really what I need.

My mom got married and pregnant very early. Then they both screwed around and in the middle of a divorce she got pregnant again (with me) from another dude.

She has flat out told me she would have aborted me, except she didn't know she was pregnant until it was too late.
She told me she's glad she had me, she loves me, great.

I don't blame or hate my mom, she was in a tough spot.

But man it fucks with my head knowing I'm only here because I rolled some kinda lottery in that I didn't stop her period or cause any pregnancy symptoms.
Also she probably drank those first four months, because she didn't know, so there's that.

So I was an unwanted child, always an inconvenience being shuttled around, always that "spicy gossip" for my dad's parties. Something to show off but not really keep around. My mom did her best but...
I dunno

Does anyone else know these feels?
>>
>>18802386
lol wut
>>
>>18802396
I was unwanted too but I feel great about winning the lottery. Our parents made mistakes and I'm glad they did!
>>
Thank you, thank you so much.
>>
I'm over it. You deserve whatever shit existence you have. I can't allow myself to be used and hurt any longer. No one deserves it... I feel sorry for you.
>>
>>18802338
I'm attracted to my SO, I just abhor the fact he puts his vices above all else. His social status is irrevelant, when I'm with someone it's a partnership, everything is 50/50. You can't grow anything if you expect someone else to take on everything. You get what you give. You take the good the bad and the ugly. I'm flustered I guess, he doesn't turn the gears in my head and lately he has been treating me like I'm stupid, I'm not stupid, I ran from someone who sparked the gears in my head.
>>
I want to go hommmeeeee

kill me. either one.

PLEASEEEEEEE
>>
I don't think love exists. You fall in love because "love at first sight" but after a short period of time you only stay together because you're gotten used to your partner and don't want to be alone again. The only true love that exists is the one to God or the one from parents to their children.
I hope that i'm wrong although.
>>
>>18802626
You are!
>>
>>18802626
to me, love is an emotion, and a commitment. you don't HAVE to love God, you don't HAVE To love your kids or parents. those are just more dependable relationships. you don't HAVE to love anyone. it is an emotion that requires commitment. when done right, it's the best thing in the entire world
>>
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>>18802254
I write to other girls and hide it thoroughly because I do certainly believe a woman would leave me after some time, sooner or later. Be it a fade of feeling, or anything else -- these are backup variants so I won't feel utterly shitty after potential break up.

The worst thing out there that it doesn't help. Had that once and after speaking with other girls I feel like an empty shell and it does make me even more miserable.
>>
>>18802693
Well, I've never said that I love God or that I had children. It's just that this are the regions in which I have seen something I would consider love, which lasted longer than some months. Ive seen that in my family aswell as in many friends. Its just my subjective impression of my observations i've made 'till now. And I've experienced Love as emotion, but it didn't last ... And its obvious that nobody has to love anything/anybody
>>
>>18802736
i just need a girl to love me forever, then i'll be good
>>
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I guess I need more attention than you could ever possibly give me. I'm ruining everything and I'm sorry. I can feel you slipping away, and it makes me fantasize about putting a sack over my head, pulling the drawstring until it's perfectly tight and just falling asleep. I want to hurt myself the same way a flea-ridden dog bites its own skin.
You say you love me, and you've done a very good of convincing me that you don't want me to leave, but why do you never go out of your way to do anything with me? It's always me initiating things. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?
>>
You think I'm smart, level-headed and "one of the good ones" (((because to you, women are generally stupid, irrational and make up "most of the bad ones"))) until you realize I'm fucking crazy. Brain chemicals out of wack. Constant chip on my shoulder. Overdramatic. All of it. I'm just self-aware enough to understand it, and not wear it on my sleeve.

But who am I kidding? You're not any better.
>>
>>18802793
How old are you anon?
>>
>>18802793
You're describing me there anon and it's making me scared
>>
I love you for who you are, nothing more, nothing less. I love you as a whole GORGEOUS person. Every detail about you is CANDY to me because I'm the same as you in my own way.
When you talk I have this weird FEELING that you know more about me than myself because you manage to put words on my thoughts, every time.
The TRUTH is I feel like you can do way better than me in everything. I can see it in you don't ask me why, it's just the way your MIND works, wow.
>>
>>18802832
18

>>18802871
I'm relieved someone can relate. I'm not glad that you know this feeling to begin with, but that it's not an alien one.
>>
>>18802900
Oh no. I'm the one from the other side anon. I'm the one who wants other people to initiate
>>
>>18802909
Oh. In that case, please initiate more often. Please.
>>
>>18802891
The CAPS in your POST are kinda FREAKING me out, mang
>>
>>18798586
Okay then... I guess there's no denying it's an affair now.
>>
I never want to see my family members again. I hate them so much. Ruin the first twenty years of my life, and they don't even care. No one cares. I'm an after-thought. My own mother lies to me constantly simply because she can. I've only ever had two friends, and that was many years ago.

Tell me, why keep going? I had to take pills just to feel emotions again - that's how badly they fucked me up. I went to college for two week, and felt like I was suffocating. There's no happiness for me. I want to stop existing.
>>
>>18801605
Something that makes me feel less empty I guess
>>
Shit. I really like this one. All the past dudes I've met were give or take, I liked them but I also didn't care when they ultimately told me they weren't interested in me seriously and that we were just casual.
But this one I have a really good feeling about. We've only been talking for a couple weeks and we've only been on 2 dates but I already feel this chemistry I haven't felt with a guy since my last bf dumped me 7 years ago. It's still a little early to tell, but I really want this to become something.

Which is why this is the most dangerous guy. I'm about 90% sure he's like the rest of the 20 something age group and just wants to fuck no strings attached, and I'm already noticing a slight change in his responses to my texts since we met up. I'm trying to play it cool for now. It's too soon to really tell anything I know. Fuck I just really want something to work for me for once. I've put so much effort into this over the years, I've met so many fucking people, just once I want something real.
>>
my girl met up with her ex from about a year ago. she hid certain details from me until after they met. it turns out they'd never met before this, and she traveled to see him, he was some internet bf, supposedly the only person she'd ever loved, and she claims this meeting was important so that she'd get over him because there were massive unresolved issues that they had never discussed as the breakup was sudden.

her not being over him HAS been a massive detriment to our relationship, and the thing is i do trust her despite her naturally secretive nature. i've seen enough to know that she loves me, and that she isn't the type to break my trust. that being said, i also know he also saw it as a date. he wanted to have sex with her. he got her drunk and tried to kiss her. she didn't tell him about me because she "didn't want to be mean". it's mean to mention that you're in a relationship to your ex, i guess

all that being said, with all that apologizing for her behavior, i still have this little fucking voice in my brain that is making it impossible to trust her. i don't think i can again. this hurts more than anything else ever has. the fact that she went to see him, even if she didn't really want to, drives me crazy. that she went up there and drank and that there's this 24 hour black box of time she spent with her ex where i will NEVER know what actually happened is making it hard for me to even feel the same things i used to feel in this relationship. i don't want to leave. i want to get over myself and i want to trust her and believe her, but what if she's fucking me over? i told her i didn't approve and that she shouldn't do it, but she didn't really give a rats ass. her perspective is that she knows she didn't do anything wrong, and i should trust her. but how can i trust her when she breaks my trust multiple times after telling me i can trust her? staying there all night, drinking... fuck
>>
>>18803141
i should also mention that i've already expressed how i feel to her, so continuing to harp on and on about it is psychological abuse at this point. it bothers me every fucking second of every fucking day, but i can't really talk about it anymore because she made it clear that this is stressing her out considerably. essentially, i've been made out to be the one with the problem.

what can i even do? i do not want to put breakup on the table. i just want to get the fuck over this so i can go back to enjoying our relationship, which was going fine until this stupid bullshit happened.
>>
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A close girl friend of mine left town for the weekend and went 100km just to fuck a friend of mine in complete secret (latter friend told me this some days ago).
This shocked me a bit because I never thought she'd be the type to get so desperate for sex she'd do something like that.

What upset me and helped forever change my view about her is that she cheated on her bf by doing so, and what's more is her bf ended up finding out about it.

Now what sets me laughing is having found out that she is actually back with her bf. The guy is a fucking loser KEK and neither of them seem to have any integrity.
R, being brought up in a fucked up family and having it rough sometimes is no excuse for what you've done.
>>
I know deep down i am not the prince you are looking for. But i just want to try. heh wtf m i doing.
>>
>>18800195
I'm going through something similar. Gonna have a mental screening test in a few weeks to determine what the fuck is wrong with me if anything. Gonna be assigned a therapist or psychiatrist afterwards. Some days I feel completely fine as if there's nothing wrong with me and whatever I think is wrong is just something in my head. And that I don't need to go through with these appointments. Other days I feel complete shit and just want to die.
I guess I should wait and see until I decide.
>>
I just want to get over my ex.

It's been two fucking months out of a year long relationship and I feel shittier now then a month ago.

Part of it is because im unemployed (thanks for ending it btw, glad I helped you find a job you cunt) and im just so bored of videogames. I have a decent ammount of friends but they all work. I step away from my computer I start thinking about her.

When will this shit just fucking end. Im sick of feeling this way. I downloaded tinder, that helped a bit but once I saw her on there I fealt even worse.
>>
I don't fucking know how to do this.
>>
>>18803212
I feel the same now and then but it's been a year now since we broke up. After a while it stops being constant and it just comes and goes. I suppose I've accepted that it's never going to go away completely until I find someone else. The simple fact is that my natural reference point for "girlfriend" is obviously her and will continue to be.

I do have a job, but that job is one of the things she hated about me (it's shitty, underpaid and forces me to live somewhere I hate.) I still fantasize that when I get out of it maybe I'll talk to her again.
>>
>>18803150
i'm mostly just fucking pissed because i told her multiple times that she shouldn't do this because it was going to end up planting seeds that would become the end of our relationship, but she basically saw that as being entirely my fault for feeling insecure. like, if she didn't do anything, then she's right, but if she did do something, she's manipulating me into believing her. i will never know which so there's no point in stressing about it, but i can't stop. i feel like i've been gaslit
>>
good, call us snowflakes when in reality most of us work insanely hard for half the pay, in debt from school, struggle with growing living costs each year, and get to deal with broken systems generations prior fucked up as well.

Sure there are a lot of fucking parasites out there but its disrespectful to kids who do work fulltime, go to school, and still that shits not enough.

Meanwhile you entitled fucking babyboomers sitback on your trustfunds mom and dad made for you while you sit from your throne made of shit telling us how the world works.

fuck off, im glad theres no social security anymore and medicare/medicaid. cant wait to see all you old fucks die
>>
>>18803240
That's the hardest shit for me. I know I shouldn't want to be with her, but I really don't want anyone else. I texted some cool people and even have this sexting thing with some girl from the UK but can't get my ex out of my mind. I think I just need to focus on my job once I get one.

I remember going out with this girl for a month and she ghosted me all of a sudden. Took me 7 months to get over her. I know this wont be as bad as that but it's definately an up hill battle right now.

Good luck man. Nice to see others suffering haha.
>>
>>18803141
Very important question, how did she end her relationship with him?
>>
I want to find a woman but I just never seem to be able to connect with girls. All they seem to want is to party,hookup,and act like children. I just want a damn relationship not something off tinder for a one night stand. Idk I guess I’ve got an abrasive personality and I’m not great but shit I’m feeling really lonely and torn up lately.
>>
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Class is tomorrow but there's something wrong with my throat...each time I walk for any period of time I start feeling like I'm choking, turn red, and can't stop coughing.

This sucks.
>>
If only i could figure out if you're interested in me or not. Getting vibes on and off to the point where I'm going to move on, but i keep looking to see if there's anything there.

Maybe it's all in my head and my friends keep pushing for me to try for something you may not want at all.
>>
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THE ONES WE LOST WILL ONE DAY BE RESTORED. I PROMISE YOU THIS!
>>
Why am I so fucking pathetic? I am so afraid of work getting awkward, that I am not asking her out. And this fucking girl seems to actually like me.

I had a perfect chance to ask her today, we were relatively alone, away from the coworkers, but nope. I pussied out instead.


I guess I will try to do it next week when I see her and we got the same schedule that day... But still.. Fuck.
>>
I'm a waste of air but I'm too scared to kill myself. I have no friends and I'm 99% sure the few people I talk to do it too laugh at me or because they have no one else. I know I have nothing to look forward too and my life has been over for years, so why can't I bring myself to end it, why am I so scared
>>
My friends keep telling me something is going to work out for me, I just have to keep waiting. How do they know? How long do I have to keep waiting? It already feels like it's been so long.

Either way, I'm so blind right now, I don't see myself getting past you. I should be mad at you, but I really just can't be. I hope you realize he'll start treating you like shit again, I don't think there's any avoiding that. I just hope something works out for me soon, I keep moving towards improving myself, so surely things will get better, I just don't know how much longer I can take the waiting.
>>
How do I become an emotionally open person with my family?

I've never found it to be hard with girlfriends but my family it just seems like I can't for some reason? like I'm scared of something but I know nothings going to happen because they love me.

I just watched my dad cry and I just wish I could've sat down and opened up with him, I feel so fucking bad and I wanna change. Any tips or just anything would be appreciated.
>>
>>18799304
Sorry to say this anon but most peeps have some form of the herp derp, just be honest, you'll find someone who could look past that, now if you had the aids that might be a different story or would it? Some people have a death wish.
>>
I don't know how to connect with ppl anymore
>>
I guess I can say it here.
I just feel kinda burned out on everything. No real desire to do anything just wasting away the time.
I kinda feel like a zombie just going through my day doing what's required then doing essentially nothing, and I don't really have a desire to do anything but it is kinda miserable. Don't really know what's up.
>>
>in the middle of talking to qt on tinder
>get a message notification, slide it open
>tinder pauses
>goes back to matches screen, conversation now gone
dunno if I was unmatched or if tinder fucked up but I'm sad now
>>
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I'm 21, and I just jerked off for the first time. Now understand, this isn't the first time I've masturbated, I've masturbated almost every day since I was 12. But until just now, I had never actually masturbated by wrapping my hand around my dick and stroking. When I discovered masturbation, it was by laying face down in bed and thrusting my pelvis into the mattress. After that it was by laying up, rubbing my forearm against the underside of my penis. Later I found out that when you thrust against the bed, it's called prone masturbation, and it can really fuck you up. I haven't done it in years, but the way I get off now is similar, since it's based on the same principles. I started getting worried that I might not be able to get it up for a real girl, so I wanted to see if I could jerk off the regular way.

It didn't feel as good. There's not as much pressure on your dick, but there wouldn't be in sex either, so I might as well get used to it. It was more work too, requiring more hand movement than what I'm used to. I also didn't realize I had to keep stroking in order to actually ejaculate. I guess my with my old way I just kind of do it instinctively. Here, I felt the orgasm coming, but I just sat there for a few seconds until I started stroking again, and then it started feeling good again.

Overall, I much prefer the way I was doing it before, but I don't want to give myself ED, although heavy porn use and masturbation can do that to you anyway. I'm very glad that I'm able to jerk off like everybody else, but I think I'm going to try and quit. I masturbate too much. Hopefully if I'm ever with a girl for real, I haven't damaged myself too much, and I'll be able to cum for her.
>>
>her crush says she's not cute enough to date
>meanwhile flaunts other women in front of her
>convince her to care more for her looks and consider the cock carousel
>she changes her hair and wears cuter clothes
>she also gets asked out on a date
>date convinces her to post pics on fagbook
>crush now desperate to talk to her
>demands she ditches date for no good reason than he needs to "talk to someone on the phone tonight"
>tell her to tell him to fuck off
>he messages me buttraging mad that i'm telling her to put "some guy" before their "friendship"
>he still refuses to admit he likes her or at least wants her to continue to orbit him
>she finally feels like she's worthy of being loved
>her last message was her giddy that he thinks her before pics are just as cute as the now

Feels good seeing a friend happy and an asshole get what he deserves.
>>
My sister and I used to be very close but one day we got into a fight and the next we got into an even bigger one that ended with me saying she's the most bratty, ungrateful and disrespectful person ive ever known.
i meant every word but i wish to God i hadn't actually said them
and didn't speak for about a month until yesterday when she barged into my room and said
"you suck, you value your pride over speaking to me"
and then she walked away and cried in the bathroom.

btw shes 29 and still lives at home, has had 2 cars bought for her and my parents even offered to give her a couple thousand dollars to find an apartment, and works a shitty job because she basically refuses to get a job in the field she studied, and every time our parents talk to her she gets annoyed and acts like an angsty teenager and slowly walking towards another room.
>>
I wish things were easier, Love I want to be with you, If you feel the same way let me know, I'm so confused.
>>
K,

How does it feel to know everyone who loved you would throw a party if you died?
Remember when you asked me how everyone would be if anything happened to you? Because everyone needed you to survive? Well you're so good as dead to us now, and we're better off without you.

Who do you have left? Out of all the people you've hurt and betrayed or outright destroyed, who's left?
There's a guy who only bothers with you because you're easy and you're stupid. Every night he goes home to the woman he really loves, and you're alone, and you did it to yourself.
Who else?
Another guy, who only bothers with you because he thinks if he sticks it out he might have a chance at fucking you.
Congratulations. You've lowered yourself to a point where your only value is as a hole to fuck when it's convenient. You deserve this.

I hope it fucking kills you to see what you've done. I hope you can't look at yourself in the mirror without thinking about how much of a fuck up you are.
I hope one day it all gets too much and you decide to end it all. I hope that just when you're too far gone to turn back, you realise you want to live, but it's too late, and it's all your fault. I hope those final moments last forever, and if there's a hell, I hope you end up there.
You did this. Only you. Reap what you've sown.

-T, who's still trying to pick up the pieces of everything you left behind.
>>
It's okay if you love her more than I do. I hope you're better with her than I ever would have been.
>>
>>18801269
Funny thing is she keeps trying to talk to me at some points, yet she gets hugs and all that other shit from every guy in the building. All eyes except mine go to her.

She keeps going on about me not talking to her anymore when hey, what's the point talking to someone who treats me like a ghost when I DO talk to her?

Like, fuck off, I have things to do and I don't play games. Either open up or leave. No anime confessions (funny as she said she loves anime), just be pragmatic and get it out already.
>>
I feel so fucking lonely. I could be surrounded by people I love and still feel like I'm on another planet. There are just some days where I need to let it out but I keep it hidden from everyone. I've tried doing things I love doing but they're just not helping anymore.
>>
My dad drove by the morning after the last hurricane hit the house,he just drove by stopped saw me on the patio and waved hello ,in the moment all I did was was a hand gesture that basically said "take a hike".I don't know if it was right or wrong,I don't even know how I feel about this man anymore since he hasn't been I the house for over a year ,I really cant see him as the dad anymore and with the divorce being final I'm at a distant with him more than ever.
>>
Girls still manage to surprise me in a negative way. I've read everything about PUA yet the shallowness of girls makes me despise them and how they suddenly start showing more interest once they find out what I do.
>>
>>18804161
>I've read everything about PUA
>complaining about shallowness
>>
Man, it's happening again. You have let your self slip down the slope. You gave in everytime your mind told you to take the easy route. You reached an achievement but you could not contain it. You play endless mind games with your self trying to manipulate your thoughts and tell your self that you are or are not the vicitim. You run away from studying because you want to keep your mind distracted. You can't admit that you need help. You think if you do not tell anyone you will find a way to do it on your own. People tell you that you are smart, you know what to do. They tell you to just do it.

>Why can't I do it anymore bros?
>Why did I give up on myself?
>How do I put a stop to it?
>Should I just ask for help?
>>
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>>18798586
its been 2 years since we got together and we still never talk. little conversations that end after 30 seconds does not count as talking. and its not that i dont love you. i really do. but their is nothing to talk about. we sit next t each other but we're too "awkward' to even talk to each other. and its not like i dont know why i dont talk. ive idolized you to the point where im surprised you do the same shit i do. i feel like im not good enough for you but that doesnt affect how i am when i talk to you. but every time i do talk to you i feel as if you're hiding something from me. and i know youre not cheating on me or anything but i would like to know whats up with you sometimes. our mutual friends tell me that you really do like me but even then it looks like you put in no effoet to be with me. not to say that ive been the most perfect boyfriend either, but 99% of our very few interactions have been started by me. im frustrated that you tell all of our mutuals that you dont know why i dont talk to you. maybe my crippling fear of rejection has something to do with it. and i feel terrible that i know more about you from talking to other people about you than what you have told me about yourself. at this point im so desperate for love that i would be willing to go with other people to get it. i put my head on a friends shoulder because he understands that im desperate for any kind of affection and im not even gay. and when i see you with other guys i cant help but feel jealous and needy. but whenever you see me talking to female friends youll jump to the conclusion that the reason i dont talk to you is because im cheating. everytime we talk i feel like you arent taking me seriously. its almost as if you think im a joke. i really do love you, but we just arent going anywhere. ive considered breaking up with you before. but i cant stand the thought of me not being with you.
>>
>>18804184
What do you mean?
>>
Well looks like it is coming to an end.. you tell me to do for myself but continually limit my options to do so. I am done. The role you play will only carry you so far. Let someone in before it is too late. All I feel is pity now, how did we let this facade get so far.
>>
Hey K,

So I am writing this to you because I still think about you. I still wish we were together. I know that I am not thought of in the least bit in your mind. That the past 4 years together is nothing more than a bad haze. But I miss it dearly.

I know I made poor choices and even did you. But I still love you so much. I wanted to make it work even when you cheated on me. I decided that I wanted to marry you not that long ago even if others told me that you would always be a dependant due to your depression but I was still willing because I wanted to always be there for you.

I miss going to disney together. I miss getting excited about things together. I miss waking up to you everyday. I miss our cat family. I miss thinking about our future and figuring things out.
There is a lot that I miss about our relationship and you.

Id give anything to be with you again. Not a day goes by where I do not think about you. I still really love you. Yes there is resentment and anger there as well. But love is the majority of what is mixed in my heart.

I wish I could send this to you. To tell you I still think about you. That I miss you. That id give anything just to see you again. Now you are with someone else and what I think or feel no longer matters. Even if I die nor does that matter to you.

I just want what we had back and to really make improvements to fix the issues we had. I was all for it and willing to do so. I am sorry you were not. I hope for the sake of finding happiness that you do figure that out. And honestly I hope you end up happy in the end.

Perhaps it was all for the best given the nature of our relationship and how you took advantage of me. Maybe 4 years warped my mind in how a healthy relationship should be and this really is the best thing that could have happened. Even considering my best friend hated you.

Anyways none of this matters anymore. Not to you at least. I just want you to know I still love you Katherine.
>>
I get it now. I dislike my mother because I see my flaws in her. Whenever she makes two or three sandwiches and shows all visible signs of overeating, it repulses me. Not just "That's gross", but it really bothers me. That's because I make the same mistake. My stomach gets all sorts of gnarly because I don't monitor what I put in it, and end up belching for hours on end. By continuing this trend, not only am I unhappy in those moments; I'm unhappy when she overeats too.

What can I do, then? Fix my diet. I'm not overweight, but I still shove junk down my gullet without an after-thought. When your "lunch" is only a box of chocolate crackers, you will feel like shit. Instead, I'll work on it. I bought some prune juice to aid my digestion, and I'll work some fruit and vegetables into my diet to round it out. Soon enough, I might feel decent.

It's time to stop blaming her. Only I can dig myself out of this.
>>
What did I do wrong?
What was so bad that you had to cut me off like that?
I wish you could tell me. I hate that I still think about this.
I won't try to contact you anymore.
>>
>>18804341
How long have you thought of it anonette?
>>
I can't maintain this lifestyle. Every day I go to school, see my friends, come home. I would never be friends with most of these people if I had a choice. I hope they secretly dislike me too, it would make me feel better about basically lying to them every day. I just want to be somewhere else, anywhere else. I think about suicide at least once a week, and I'm only 18. I feel sick every day, I catch every illness that goes around, my immune system is shot to hell from the depression and the filthy air around here. College is better than this, right? When I get there next year, I won't have these problems? A new country, new people, fresh air, independence?
>>
Just because I have no one doesn't mean I need him.
>>
Hey JC Ray,

I tried so hard not to write this, but I needed to vent so I failed. I tried to talk to M yesterday but people came in so I couldn't. We were gonna talk today but he seemed pissed at my general existence so I went home early. I'm going to tell him the truth. Everything. It's killing me inside because I still love you and I can't talk to him about it and I have no one else to talk to. You didn't respond at all when I told you my plans for the week. I don't know why I expected you to, despite the fact you're heavily involved in them. Maybe you'll be happy to see me, but I doubt it. I have a lot to do at the club this week, so I probably won't see you before Wednesday, but I hope I do. I'm gonna ask you to dinner for Friday tomorrow, hopefully hash things out between us. I wish you'd stop pretending I don't exist when we both know I can sense your mere existence. I wish I couldn't. It's fucking awful for me. I'm probably going to hang myself soon because I literally can't get away from it. You have no idea what this is like. Anyways, that's my venting for a few days. No music this time, but you're forever a haunting melody in my heart.
Til death do us part,
Stormtrooper
>>
>>18804401
P.S.
I was just thinking about the night we got Boudie. I was so worried M would find out right then and there because we were all over each other while looking at the fish and he had fallen behind enough to sneak up on us which he did. I wonder if looking at Boudie reminds you of me. I did name him, after all. I dunno. I'm so tired. Tired of thinking of you every waking moment of my life. We've been apart for over a month. I shouldn't be hanging on like this.
>>
I wish I had a gun that could blow the bad thoughts out of my head.
>>
how do you deal with losing respect to someone you love, here's my story for anyone who cares.

>mother left me (2y) and my 2 siblings with dad
>dad doing best dad stuff (watching tv togather, bedtime story, teaching, etc...)
>dad had to work 2 jobs 12h/day
>still makes time to spend with us
>never drinks and tried many times to quit smoking
>teen phase
>dad is being super protective to us (no boys and girls, no outside alone, stay in room, etc...)
>my sis and dad fight all the time
>sis life is runied
>fast forward
>dad got remarried
>sis and step-mother fight all the time
>sis moved out
>fast forward even faster
>got my master degree
>call dad to make him proud
>tells me he had a big fight with my sis
>sis has money problem (master degree with no job)
>dad wont give her any
>appearnly, dad was supporting sis financially from the time she moved out
>tell dad "its alright just pay few month worth of rent till she.."
>no
>"a little bit more wont..."
>no
>"fine i will do it"
>no
>"what?"
>dad proceed to lucture me about money and life
>"but dad family matters more than..."
>dad: no money means no food, no home, no bed, no school, no family, no life.
>"i understand dad but..."
>dad: no you dont, i work hard all my life to raise your sister, now its her turn.
>"her turn?"
>dad: she better pay back all the money i gave her.
>"wtf dad, are you seriously fighting cuz you want money?"
>dad: anon stay away from this, its between me and your sister
>"dad, if you really need money me and bro can give you some"
>dad: i want my money back
>"dad, you want your money back but not my sis?"
>dad:...
>"DO YOU SERIOUSLY CARE AbOUT MONEY MORE THAN SIS?"
>dad:...
>"what about me?"
>dad: you dont owe me money, anon.
>'but what if i did"
>dad:...anon stay away from this.
>*hangs up the phone*

in that moment i felt someone dear to me died, the fuck im supposed to do when i hear that dad value money over us. i never cried like this since i was 7year old boy.
>>
In your guys words what does it mean to love someone platonicly?
>>
>>18804512
You sound like you're missing his side of the argument

This sounds like it literally is between the two of them desu
>>
You again, why'd you call?
I don't need to hear you cryin' out my name
Unlike before when you and I laid eye to eye
Now it's time for you to taste the bitter end
>>
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>>18798586
So I'm laying in bed right now and it's 1:45 in the morning and a few things are on my mind. (On medical leave due to a spinal injury. Just now able to move and be active.)

1) I'm on some anti depressant and anti anxiety medicine and my libido is now completely shot.
Horribly shot. It's difficult to get aroused, and when I do, I can almost not orgasm at all. It takes forever. And it's not even the enjoyable kind. It's just frustrating. And when I do climax, it fucking hurts, A LOT. Like being stabbed. I'm curious on why this is physically happening. I'm on Paxil, and I know it can do this, but I want to know why it's doing it.

2) I've developed a new fetish apparently. To much time on the internet on medical leave can be an unproductive thing. Lately, I think I've developed a thirst for mommy roleaplay. Something about an older milf making me submissive helps with issue number 1. (Have a great relationship with biological mother and not interest in her in the slightest. It's just a comforting fetish to be honest).

3) I miss my friend Alyssa who killed herself because she was trans. That was 5 years ago. I never told her I loved her. As a friend. Maybe I could have saved her to let her know someone cared for her. Last time I saw her I gave her a ride home. I hope you and Tom can see each other now. (When I go, I sure as hell won't be joining ya. I don't deserve rest)

4) I miss my old adventure buddy. She was very special to me. I miss her face. I was going through some of our old hiking and camping photos. My god she is pretty, but to me, she'll always be beautiful.
I want to tell her I'm sorry for everything. But she doesn't deserve it. I deserve the apology. She's an arrogant selfish person who doesn't take things into consideration. She cares about number one. But I still miss her. I probably still love her, but I moved on quite a bit. I had to.

I hope you all have a good day/night. Fight for your dreams and never carry no in your heart /adv/.
>>
Haven't had a girlfriend in 6 years despite being somewhat well adjusted.
Been trying the last 6 months and I've resorted to dating apps. All I match with are fatties.
Life fucking sucks. I have everything I want aside from a woman to love and love me back. And I know it's a fucking meme and will just end in shit, but for some reason it's eating away at me terribly.
>>
Lmao your voicemail. Write your speech beforehand next time.
>>
>>18804356
I'm a guy but I do sound pretty pathetic. Got ghosted out of nowhere by a girl I was seeing. It only lasted half a year but I guess the first time hurts the most. Its been 3 months and I still wonder about what happened. Holding on to any hope that I will find out will just keep it hurting but it won't go away.
>>
If your initial is listed below, fuck off and die.
A, other A, another A, T, other T, C, C again (the same), R, other R, D?.
That's all for today, cya!
>>
There was nothing I could do because I was comatose in the hospital. I let them all down and they'll never know why. Let everyone down.
>>
I dont know why I still post in these and nobody really talks, and its mostly a vent I guess

>be me
>need to go to the city
>problem with the metro so everyone has to take a different line
>extremely crowded
>packed that literally nobody else fits in
>surrounded by hot and average girls
>metro shaking
>try to not make contact but they bump into me
>realize that this is the only time in the past 5 fucking years I touched a butt or even been close to a hot girl

anyway, being ugly and retarded sucks
>>
Fuck you E.
>>
Fuck you P.
>>
Another liar exposed, this is great I guess. It a shame that we share the same blood tho.
>>
i'm actually not really shy. everyone thinks i'm shy because i was shy as a kid.
it just evolved and it sticks with you. but it's not really who i am.
i'm actually a cool funny guy that people like, there's absolutely no reason why not.
you're not 'special' that people can't like you... no you're just a person like everyone.
you can be funny and a leader and carefree and happy. there's absolutely no reason why not.
letting go is the best feeling ever. letting go of all your anxieties and introversion.
it's all flowing out.
every bit of it.
you're the real anon now.
i haven't felt so free and alive for a long time. just being alive is a gift from god.
>>
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I feel pretty damn terrible everyday. the last few months of my life have been so bad and ive gone to the point where i literally dont give a shit now. All I want is something good to fucking happen to me for once. I want my friends to be happy I want a happy successful relationship i want to pass midterms. The future can fuck off for all i care. The way i feel its not even worth living in the now because everyday is a new random shitty awful encounter. on top of all of this stupid shit ive gone through recently i also have the glorious tranny life id never live as a male again but even so being trans aint exactly fantastic.. I really wouldnt be against waking up dead
>>
I whacked it to 'family naturism' for the first time in like 10 years... after I told myself never again 10 years ago. should I just off myself now or just accept it and repress it for another decade?
>>
>>18804759
The fuck did I do?
>>
>>18804928
That's not you, he said to me that he doesn't use 4chan.
>>
>>18804940
If it's you it completely make sense though.
>>
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I FUCKING HATE THESE FUCKING COMMUNIST GOD DAMN TRAITORS THAT INFEST MY UNIVERSITY! I WANT TO SEE THEM ALL FUCKING DEAD!
GOD DAMN USELESS, GLOBALIST, KIKE SERVING TRAITORS THE LOT OF THEM! THEY DESERVE A BULLET IN THEIR HEADS!
>>
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Ldr 1.5 years .I am still studying she is working

My plan is to move in 8 months to near her work location and close the gap I was fine with the plan and I am working towards it

She is short .little chubby and little flat Chested and her hair is short and not thick I can see scalps some times. I know she is not perfect or my ideal match

Sex is fine and she loves me

We meet atleast once a month

Last time we meet a week ago

Before we left to our homes we had a dis-agreement and I got hurt and she cried and it hurt me lot more seeifn her cry

I came to my Univ she left to her work destination

Ever since last Monday I am numb I don't feel anything for her I want to be alone

And the women I see in my Univ.. little taller with thick hair attracts my attention and my mind wanders and fantasies about them like how it would be have a gf like her

I feel shallow and this makes me guilty and every girl see appears attractive and it makes me feel ridiculous because this feels new to me . I don't want to date others and I just want to be alone from these thoughts and relationship

I acted cold on text and lashed out to her for simple question and then I told her I am numb and I need time away from relationship

To which she didn't want to agree bcs she can't believe everything what is happening I took my time and explained her twice or thrice how others appear attractive and this is strange to me and I want to love her the way she is ..
And I am afriad of falling out of love

I am confused for like 3 days what is happening to me .. I don't feel like texting her

I think about her ..

But I am afraid my thoughts and attraction to others

I am afraid I will compare others to her and say your are short I don't like you anymore

I feel like I will think of others during sex and feel remorse and guilt
I want smoke again :(

What is happening to me ?

Why do I feel numb and lost and have no feelings for her ?

Why others appearing more attractive
>>
>>18804972
It may be me, I'm not stupid enough to show off my power level to anyone irl. Seriously though, what did your P do?
>>
We broke up for good this time. Our relationship had become toxic because of your suspiciousness and lack of trust in me - I admit I didn't help the situation. I watched porn when you said not to (I didn't think it mattered that much desu), I told my mates that youd befriended about our arguments (its not my fault you ditched your friends to only spend time with me. I had time for my friends, go find ur own), I deleted msgs with emojis in them after a while out of fright that youd think im flirting. etc.
several years ago when we first started dating, i was a bit of a weeb, i read hentai instead of other "normal" porn. But before one of our breakups you checcked my history, I guess I'd forgotten to go incognito a few times over the years, what got me is that you found "MLP porn" - something that personally disgusts me, I hate the thought of beastiality, let alone cartoon animal porn, you claimed u knew that I wouldve beaten off to it, but thats fucked - you threatened to breakup and tell everybody if i didnt admit the "truth," though, the truth is that I haven't jacked it to ponies, but the "truth" is that "yes, babe I think I may have jacked it to ponies."

you've been blackmailing me with that for a while, threatening t send it to people. And your constant arguing and nagging just distanced me from you - which just intensified your criticism. You threaten to tell future partners - I could easily do the same. But we brokeup on good terms this time, but you're acting almost like we never broke up aside from the fact you dont text "i love you" anymore. It hurts my feelings and I want you to leave me alone, i feel like trash.

I loved you so much, and now its fading. Maybe I was blinded by how much I thought I loved you, but you were so controlling - I couldn't even talk to girlsaround you without you almost flipping out.

I need to vent more, but I fear i'll reach the character limit
>>
>>18805040

This last weekend I had a college film project and ended up working till early hours of the morning each night. I met a cute girl there, a friend of a friend, playing a lead character.

She made me feel special, like you once did, she laughed at my jokes and complimented me on my silly actions - instead of ridicule me and make fun of me. She actually took some care for me too, when I opened up a can of energy drink she'd plead not to drink it, that it's bad for you.

She hung around me for a lot and I bonded with her and a few other different members of cast, it was really fun amongst a time of stress due to college and... well, life.

The thing about this girl is, I'd always distance myself from women whilst with you, but this girl made me happy, even just to have her as a new friend.

She doesn't know how happy it made me, and in all honesty I don't want her to. I don't want to date her, it's too close to my last break up, and I just can't date anyone ATM.

It's funny though, the cute girl checked my Facebook and noticed you in my profile picture - she was curious and intrigued by who u were to me. I explained we only just broke up and she, along with the other few people I'd bonded with gave me sympathy - I don't know if I deserve it in all honesty, but they were great people.

Especially her.
Maybe I have a crush, but I'll leave it at that.

They helped me forget about you, even if it was only temporary. Plus I think they helped me figure out what I want to do with my life and career.

This weekend has been good for me.
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>>18805018
>not stupid
>power level
Consider suicide.
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>>18805105
Consider it yourself, fuckstick.
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>>18803801
...
>>
I want you so bad, girl
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>>18805108
Laaame
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>>18805119
Then you die and everyone else's shoulders feel alot less heavy. Learn to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing good to say.
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>>18805129
Venting is not about saying something good, if you can't handle it be free to leave you wont be missed.
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>>18805137
I'm venting here too, genius! Eat shit you spineless fuck.
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Whole day I reminded myself of how unattractive and disgusting I am, it actually helped a little.
I escape into dream sequences with dream women but reminding myself no living being wants to touch me allows me to focus on important shit like jobs and such.
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>>18805149
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>>18805118
Fat chance fuckboi, god knows where that fuckstick has been.
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>>18805157
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>>18805163
It's gonna be in you because you're a slut like the rest of them
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>tfw so horny you start inadvertently saying sexual things and flirting with men you're not actually attracted to
>tfw they're probably catching me staring at their dicks too
>tfw you're not actually attractive so your behavior is very unwanted and awkward for them

Why is it all of a sudden I can't stop being horny? Can't afford batteries or new toys for at least two months. It's bad enough orgasms are getting difficult to CUM by but even if I stop schlicking the sex dreams start. I wonder if something in my room smells like a man or whatever. Is this lady blue balls?
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>>18805183
I'm a dude so I don't know if it will work for you but I found that depression and working out until you can't feel anything but burning and tear causing pain help reduce the horniness by a lot. The pain makes you depressed and then you need some upper to deal with the depression and you're good to go.
I use weed so my body heals quicker so I need to work out almost daily or I will get horny again. But if you can go to a doctor get some pills and you can just stay fat and deal with the depression.
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>>18805175
Whatever makes you feel better about your shit behavior, anon.
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>>18805221
I don't have any behavior slut, you're the one slutting around.
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I know there is gonna be violence involved at some point. I wonder when.
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>>18805436
In bed
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>>18805436
As soon as I get my hands on your address.
Tell your family you love them. They wont be here much longer.
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She was wearing this sweater and sweatpants today, with her usual tired, easy going attitude.
God she looks so comfy. I want to spend an entire Saturday with her laying around in bed watching netflix and not say a single word.
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>>18805470
>Tell your family you love them. They wont be here much longer.
What if I don't?
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>>18805520
I'll make you watch.
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>>18805555
>I'll make you watch.
Spookyy
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I want to fucking die. I'm so fucking bored. SO FUCKING BORED.

I swear to god someone told me it was rude to look others in the eyes. Or was it rude to look a dog in the eye? I mean, does it really matter?

I'm less autistic and more filled with a bunch of horseshit on purpose by people making it so it looks like I have autism.
>>
you're whole "anything you want" shit really has me questioning exactly what you mean. It sure as fuck isn't "anything you want."

Nothing is going to happen. I the end you're just going to kill me.

So fucking kill me already. For fuck'ssss saskkeee;oaj;kej;klajsd;lajs;ldkal;s'dkla;'s kl';asdkfl; asjld; kal;'dal ';ws
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I don't want to settle. I don't want to just take what's offered to me. For years I fantasized about having a thrilling love story, to charge ahead and grasp my dreams with my own hands, I want to create.
This isn't like me. I never wanted to give up, I never wanted to live by counting down to the weekends. Why am I even trying to talk myself out of trying to change and be more outgoing? I want that, and I still want that. I am going to have that.

I am going to change. I'm going to keep working on changing. Even if the path is hard and full of pain, I'm going to do it.
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What's with liberals? They are all hard about diversity but then want to breed out white people with all their fucking interracial propaganda .

Not that I'm against people loving whoever they fell in love with but you have to be one dense mother fucker to not see it.




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