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We've been dating for a year now, and doing fine.

The thing is our viewpoints "collide" from time to time. For example, he advices me against going to the doctor (even more a gynecologist) because, according to him, they'll abuse me and no one apart from him should see or touch my body. Or getting contraceptives because he doesn't want me to go see a doctor to get them and something foreign in my body.
I think that's nonsense, a doctor is a doctor, they see lots of bodies daily for years.

He tries to coerce me into drinking, smoking or doing marihuana and lsd, as long as i do it with him it's okay. He's not to pushy about it though. After a while he stops insisting.
But if I do it with friends he goes crazy calling them "bad influences" and "hoes".

He's said some pretty scary stuff about women he calls "sluts" and homosexuals not being worthy of living.
So far i've left everything slide.

Yesterday after I decided going to a friend's house for a couple drinks he messaged me
>>
CONT.

> you're going to end up cheating or raped and it that happens you can forget about me.
>me: fucking chill
>you're not worth it. I won't do any more efforts about you. You're not the type of women I like and I don't have to stand you... I don't know why I'm with you, I just suffer. I should kill myself.
>It's okay, you're mad. And no one deserves to suffer. You should rest.
I messaged him today and he said he’s too busy to talk with me nor does he want to.
He has done some things like keeping a scorecard (this action of yours rests point to the relationship) or holding the relationship hostage (I can’t date someone who is…, if you do/think this, we shouldn’t date).
I’m afraid I am in a toxic relationship, am I? Should we break up? If I stay will I end beaten up? Or death ditched in a side road?
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if 4chan can count to 10 then you break up.
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do you not know how to finish writing?

your boyfriend is abusive. isolating someone socially is one of the classic red flags of abuse. no he will not change. no you should not stay. no it does not matter if every once in awhile he's not a fucking dick. just gtfo.
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>>18799280
>>18799285

Damn, you're either a huge idiot or you're brainwashed. Dump him, immediately. Never think of staying with someone just because you're used to it or you fear being alone (can't think other reasons why you would still stay with him). If anything, he sounds like an even bigger idiot than you, no way that relationship will work
Good luck with everything
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>>18799285
He seems really insecure which is normal for people to be in a relationship when they care about the other person, however you should try the rational approach (the most receptive means of communication for men) if this guy is important to you. Clearly reason with him why you want to have some fun with your friends, how it's healthy for you to do so and state your intentions, like there's no way you're going to cheat on him. He obviously doesn't trust you, so earn his trust and he wont have any more excuses. This is the only way to do due diligence in your part and not have any regrets if this doesn't work out. If you do the above and he still doesn't trust/respect your time with your friends then there's nothing else you can do and the only alternative is to drop this toxic person.
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>>18799280
hes right, gynecologists can abuse you and contraceptives arent healthy for your reproductive system. at least see a female gyn.
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>>18799285
trust me you dont want to go out with someone who threatens to kill themself all of the time ive been there and its a disgusting relationship im still relieved looking back at it.
but he is still looking for your best interests and hes right you shouldnt do drugs with strangers, if you ever pass out they willl not give a shit.
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>>18799328
Sounds to me that they're at a point where the situation is irreversible. The only way to make it work will be her giving in without any sort of compromise or common ground. We're talking about completely different mindsets and perspectives about the relationship, and he seems to have the upper hand in everything
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>>18799330
This is actually true
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>>18799330
What if he's the family doctor and an old man? He's seen me growing up.
>>
in order to keep your body pure enough for a man the only solution is to kill yourself. that way nobody can touch you anymore.
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>>18799291
I just thought he hadn't gone to the point of isolation since I do hang out, he just gets intense when I do.

>>18799311
He wasn't like this. He started exhibiting this behaviors 6 months ago or so. After we started living together. Now he lives on his own and I live with my parents.

>>18799328
I believe his jealousy is unjustified given that he still talks with his ex and he started seeing me shortly after breaking up with her (he says he had been single for 6 years before me, but I know that's bs)
>>
Sounds like a controlling and insecure madman. Trying to lure you into drugs is also a major red flag. You noticed yourself something's amiss and the whole thread is agreeing with you, what are you waiting for?
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>>18799290
12345678910
>>
>>18799280
>>18799285
>/pol/ and /r9k/ hybrid
The only question here is why haven't you dumped him yet?
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>>18799328
I do wish he trusted me more. I have indeed expressed my feelings and he just said trust wasn't black or white and I had to earn it, even though I hadn't given him any reasons not to trust me

>>18799338
He doesn't do it all the time, but you're right. That's putting a lot of emotional pressure onto your couple.
About the drugs, you've got it wrong. Not that I want to do drugs with strangers. I don't want to do them at all, but since he's into marihuana and lsd, when he uses he wants me to do it too, and insists for a while.
But if it where my high school friends insisting, he would talk shit about them
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>>18799427
Funny, he says he doesn't want me to die either because someone would have too see and manipulate my naked body for the autopsy and embalming
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>>18799474
This problem doesn't occur if he kills you and gets rid of your body personally, after what I read about him this wouldn't surprise me too much anymore.
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>>18799454
>>18799465
I guess I just wanted to ignore the red flags because I appreciate how the relationship was, and how it still is most of the time. He said relationships go through ups and downs, and you have to persist during fights, differences, etc in order to strengthen the relationship. That what we have is special.
And I trusted him given that he is older and has more experience. He's my first serious relationship.
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>>18799466
Well then fucking earn it, problem solved.
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>>18799484
I think he wouldn't physically harm me, he lived with his mother and 3 sisters after his parents divorce. He's used to taking care of women. And everyone around him says he's really calm. But I guess he can be emotionally/mentally abusive.
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>>18799504
What's the age difference between you two?
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>>18799495
How? I haven't cheated, I'm always honest with him, rarely go out, and have no heterosexual male friends. What else can I do?
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>>18799280
You have a right to disagree with my opinion.
I think that the fact that you are even looking for advice on a relationship where your partner is being such a control freak and insane at the same time means you are too addicted to him. Or you are just addicted to the act that someone cares so much about you. But it's not true love and mutual compassion if he doesn't respect your freedom and wishes.
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>>18799510
About 8 years. I'm 19, almost 20, he's 28.
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>>18799523
Sounds logic. Reminds me our parents. Maybe we're just repeating patterns.
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>>18799524
Damn, he sounded like an insecure teen, but a grown man showing behaviour like this is bad news.
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>>18799531
I've never thought about it that way. Probably because we don't care about the other's age. But you are right, that's not appropriate behavior for a grown man
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>>18799280
>I’m afraid I am in a toxic relationship, am I?
Yes

>Should we break up?
Yes

>If I stay will I end beaten up? Or death ditched in a side road?
Probably not.
>>18799455
>12345678910

Twelve billion three hundred and forty-five million, six hundred and seventy-eight thousand, nine hundred and ten?
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>>18799280
> doctors and medicine
No way shouldn't have that near your body
> literal poisons
Should do it with him for sure

He sounds like a man of great intelligence
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>>18799593
The drugs and medicine I understand. But doctors? Isn't that a stretch? Doctors diagnose and heal. The ones who use their position at their advantage, shouldn't have studied medicine in the first place
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>>18799650
This was clearly a bait post, anon.
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>>18799650
>The ones who use their position at their advantage, shouldn't have studied medicine in the first place

Now i know why your boyfriend does this. You do drugs with your friends, and decide to go drinking at someone's house. He's an asshole but he's far from naive. He understands the potential dangers in these situations and probably thinks you're too naive to realize that on your own, so he tries to prevent you from being put into situations where someone could potentially abuse you or exploit your trust. I can respect that but he's still a toxic person and you need to break up with him.
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>>18799311
t cuck
>>
According to this thread, OP, the best advice is to dump him. There is no other reason, you even posted all of the red flags. If you keep up with these red flags because you "appreciated" your relationship with him, then you'll most likely get physically and mentally hurt.

Like living with a sociopath, or a serial killer, you're being manipulated as an object. Is this a WM/AF couple? If so, ditch the poor subhuman. There's a 8 year age gap, which of course brings two different minds from two different points of time being most likely incompatible with each other.

Do it for the greater good, with purpose. What's the point of living if you're going to suffer? Degenerates just fuck around all day without a care in the world.
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>>18799280
>>18799285
Why are women fucking retarded? Serious question
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>>18799280
Your boyfriend is a manipulative sociopath and you should dump him as soon as humanly possible. There is no question about it. He's a shit human being and a fucking moron. Leave him. This will never work, and you will never be happy.
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>>18799280
>>18799285

Yes, you should break up with him.

He is:
- trying to socially isolate you
- trying to control your whereabouts
- trying to control your health or prevent necessary medical treatment
- possibly trying to get you pregnant, thus easier to control
- trying to emotionally manipulate you by threatening self-harm and giving you the silent treatment

Run. Before he gets violent. You can always find someone else. Literally just make an account on CMB or something and you can find dozens of guys who don't act like this.

It's not worth risking your safety and freedom over this one. These are the types of people who turn physically abusive. He's already verbally abusive. Don't wait. Get out now.
>>
my girlfriend going out with friends bothers me too but I definitely wouldn't ever threaten you or stop talking to you over it. I'm the most insecure person I know and can be very mean but that is a fucked up thing to do. Don't stay with someone who threatens suicide and is trying to keep you away from doctors, imagine he beats you and you are afraid to go to the hospital because of what he's said?
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>>18799330
This is extremely rare. Are you some kind of anti-vaxxer too or something?
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>>18799986
I've read this before. You have replied to me before in another thread. It turned out to be wrong advice and I'm glad I didn't listen. But here I think you are giving her good advice
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>>18799824
I don't do drugs. And I went drinking to my friend's house. 2 girls, a gay male and me, friends I've known since junior high school. No stranger danger in that, right?
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>>18799504
I'm serious. Run. He's just manipulating you and unless you want to risk this becoming your entire life once he gets you pregnant and manipulates you into keeping the kid you need to get out now.
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>>18799524

He's manipulating you.

You said this is your first serious relationship.

You don't realize that this is not normal behavior. He's taking advantage of the fact that you don't have a reference example to know that what he is trying to do to you is dangerous.
>>
>>18799504
Why even bother if you're not going to fucking listen?

Do you want do to this forever or not? You know the red flags. You know you're not happy. He REFUSES to be happy.

Leave him or don't. If you don't, you're a fucking idiot and you're going to suffer. If you do leave him, good for you, you're redeemable; he isn't.
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>>18799992

I'm confused by this statement. I just typed up that post from scratch -- it was not copy-pasted.

But yeah I have occasionally given similar advice to people dealing with unambiguously abusive and controlling partners. It kind of gets my attention because I once had a girlfriend whose ex was like that and left her with a lot of issues.

Maybe my writing style is just more distinctive than most. I'm kind of verbose sometimes.
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>>18799997
Sounds safe to me. Your bf is just trying to control you and damage your friendships, so that you become more dependent on him and easier to keep controlling. I'm serious. I've seen this before.
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>>18800020
You have mannerisms like "Run." or "Get out now." along with making a list of things. It's a bit panicky for the person you're answering. My whole relationship came down to whether I texted 'yes' or 'no', and reading all the urgent "she's abusing you" comments help me get back to reality that she wasn't. So I guess thanks
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>>18800028

Great. Are you a guy? Was your gf trying to control you to the same degree OP's bf is trying to control her? Was there a huge gap in life experiences and power between you two, the way there is for OP? I don't think the situation is comparable. As you yourself wrote above, it seems pretty different.

I'm also not sure if I am indeed the same person who replied to you.
>>
The sex card, the ex card, the victim card, the woman card, the breakup card, what’s next? The let’s get back together card? The we can still be friends tho card? How about the it wasn’t our time card or the you should move on one?

Jeez how many more cards do you have? Also, congrats on 50. At least you got one from me
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>>18799427
>order to keep your body pure enough for a man the only solution is to kill yourself
Thanks for the laugh my dude
>>
OP here
He finally messaged me. I've decided it's best for us to end this. I wanted to meet in person and talk, but he's low key implying he's going to kill himself if I do. Saying how depressed he is and how that's the worst I can do for him right now.

I'm afraid, and I can't help feeling guilty (I know it's dumb), I'm even considering calling his mom or even a therapist.

He says my friends are jealous and just want me for themselves, that they want to corrupt me and I shouldn't take advice from them
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>>18799997
No, but you should pay more attention to phrasing in the future. He's being paranoid, and it's hardly relevant when everything points to ending the relationship. It isn't your responsibility or your fault if he kills himself, OP. When people tell their partner they'll kill themselves they're using it as emotional blackmail to keep you from breaking up with him, but in this case I think he's just trying to guilt you. OP, this is not a healthy relationship you're in. A good boyfriend wouldn't keep a scorecard system, accuse you of cheating, or pressure you to do things you don't want to. You aren't equipped to handle his depression, and you can offer to be supportive but this relationship isn't good for you. Maybe in the distant future when if he sorts himself out you can try again, but breaking up with him is the best option for the both of you right now. Your friends only want what's best for you, and they certainly don't want you "Just for themselves". Don't let him guilt you into getting back with him, you're only enabling his behavior by doing this.
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>>18800274
Listen very closely: Do NOT talk to him in person.

Not doing that may be the worst thing you can do for him, but talking to him in person is potentially the worst thing you can do for yourself. Do NOT talk to him in person. This guy is a sociopath.
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>>18800274
Tbh don't meet up with a manipulative person threatening suicide. Call the cops or his mom or something if you really think he will. But what are the chances you show up and then he starts threatening you instead? Don't meet up with him, or make sure you aren't alone.
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>>18799280
>For example, he advices me against going to the doctor (even more a gynecologist) because, according to him, they'll abuse me and no one apart from him should see or touch my body.
Gotta love Islam.
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>>18800274

You did nothing wrong, so there is nothing to feel guilty about. He and you both have to make your own decisions. You've decided this relationship can't continue. He responded with more attempts to manipulate you and cut you off from social support. This just confirms you made the right decision.

You are not responsible for his decisions. You are, however, responsible for your own safety. It is safest not to meet in person.

Ignore his comments about your friends. It's just more cheap attempts to elevate himself by tearing other people down, trying to keep you dependent and block out other social relationships and information. (Also wtf does "just want me for themselves" mean? That's a rather disturbing thing to say in the first place.)

It might be best to send something to the effect of hoping that he manages to work through this, but that for both of your sake you can't be the one to help with it and he needs to get past it independently. Then say that you are blocking his number for at least the next month to make sure the two of you can get over this properly. Then block it. And move forward. Take some time to work through this and move on.
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>>18800510

In practice, if you decide to keep it blocked forever, that's probably what will happen.

Sometimes with breakups the two people can still have some positive social connection afterward given enough time and finding new partners, but in this case it doesn't sound like he could be a good friend in the first place. So it's not clear what you could possibly have to gain from allowing further communication now.
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>>18800274
>>18800510
>>18800518

Also -- try to spend some more time with your friends in the next couple of weeks. They can help support you and keep you looking forward.
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>>18799280
Holy shit, he's crazy.
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>>18800510
Thank you. I'm already preparing mentally, right now i feel like it's going to be rough, but I'll try my best
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>>18799280
>>18799285
Just leave him.
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>>18799280
The guy's a fucking lunatic, of course you should break up. I doubt that you have the judgment to avoid people like him in the future, though.
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>>18800274
Who fucking cares if a degenerate kills himself? Let him.
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>>18800274
Oh shit nigger call the cops he's gonna try and merc your ass for real. Shit happened to a coworker of mine dude broke in through the screen door with a 45 blasted thru the bathroom door as well.




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