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Vent thread, you know the drill.
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I hate people that chew loud
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>>18928263
Yesterday the condom broke and I came in my gf...
She took the "morning after pill" ellaOne in about an hour, it is said to be effective in 98% of times
She was on day 10-11 since her period, she should be ovulating on day 14-15
I had jerked off that day (hopefully less semen) and I tested my little boys 4 years ago and they were not fully ok (azoospermia, some motility and life issues) but I had varicocele and got surgery for it, haven't tested my semen since.
We're not ready for a baby, I'm still in uni and she just found a job. We've been together for 7 years, I'd really like to marry her and everything but it's not time yet.
Thanks for "listening"
Anyone had experiences with ellaone or similar stories?
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youre fine girls have messed up period schedules all the time especillay when they are young theyre bodies are still changing and havent got on an exact schedule yet my girl used to freak out literally every month shit was annoying
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Is it bad to stalk someone? When does it become bad? For whom is it bad, the person stalking, the person being stalked or both? What makes it bad?
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You kept on taking advantage of my feelings. You led me on.
I still try to think that you acted like that because of your mental issues, but in the end I was exhausted of giving and never receiving. And when I asked for some attention, you just became rude and cold.
I can't talk things right away because you are like a vampire, draining me out.
And, even though you make me feel like this, I still love you.
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>>18928269
>We're not ready for a baby, I'm still in uni and she just found a job. We've been together for 7 years, I'd really like to marry her and everything but it's not time yet.

Marry her, faggot
Never be the kind of person that makes shit excuses as to why they should avoid good things
be the kind of person that makes shit excuses as to why they should DO good things
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feeling alone. but trying to keep myself busy so i won't think of it.
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>>18928268
That made my fucking day, kek
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Whenever I enter a debate about racism with certain white people (by "certain", I mean most of the ones I've talked to), they 100% of the time actually end up exposing themselves as racist at some point, even if they started off with "I am not racist". They go full 14/88 mode and start shitting on other races. The funny thing is that they then insist that's "not them". Like they were temporarily possessed by white supremacist Satan or something. Like their mask didn't slip off.
It means that no one was ever wrong to call that person racist, they just didn't want to be exposed for what they are.
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>>18928668
>children while you're still in school and the mother is working
>a good thing
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>>18928668
I like what you said about the excuses Can you be my friend need somebody like you in my life
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>>18928950I feel the same, what do you do.
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I told the guy about my penis and he doesn't want to see me anymore
:(
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You know I'm going to tear apart anyone and anything that keeps me from you, right?
There is little point in throwing up all these walls as I did before.
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Runs off and seems to want to come back then and ignores me. Fuck, why do I even bother?
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You're the worst of the worst.

I am a liar, manipulator and a coward. But at the end of the day I know when I'm done with people. You just keep trying to suck on to me, making me seem like the one who kept receiving.

Do you seriously think I'm that spineless I'd ever take you back? Did you think I was scared of you finding out ''who I really am'' as if that wasn't the most obvious thing right from the start. What I do is play games, I fuck around.

You on the other hand, you seriously believe that you never did anything to hurt me, to destroy me.

I told you about all my insecurities, you knew how much what you have done hurt me. I gave you multiple chances and you kept doing it. You think I stopped talking to you out of the blue because I couldn't bear some burden?
I didn't want to talk to you because all you would've done is try to set me up for another rejection.

You will never accept that, what are your insecurities? What do you hate and what do you like? Sure I lied about who I am, but did I lie about my personality? I laid it all out in the open, I gave you the knife and you didn't stab me. You punctured my entire body multiple times.

This is not meant for you to show acceptance or anything like that, I just want to show you how little you mean to me.

You are not my love, you are not the one. You a monster who just hurt me over and over again. Before you even pretend to go the fucking I'm just insecure and scared of letting people in route, we both know that's not true. People who in theory shouldn't have meant anything to you, we're being let in closer than me instantly.

Do you seriously think I have fond memories besides that one night I cried myself out on your lap?

I hate you, I left you twice already and if you get close I will do it again. There is no need for sorry because I'm not that childish or petty. There is no need for anything because I'm done with you. So stop acting as if this is anything, on my end or yours
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>>18928263(OP)
I fucking hate life sometimes, considering all the shit that's been thrown my way. The shit I've had to go through. And yet my mind still tells me that "others have it worse" and i'm hardly worth anything. I fucking hate myself sometimes and how I am over one girl, who is my ex. All we had was a month together, and I was the happiest I've ever been. The past year I've done nothing but be nice and there for her, and bottled up so much hate it came out at her 2/3 times, which I hate myself for even more. The worst part is each time I do I say that's it, i'm done with her, but each time a week later I feel like I need her and go back, like there's a reason that we're meant to be, even though she's said no many times (to a relationship) Fucking sucks ass, while also dealing with my life.
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You were perfect in every conceivable way and came into my life despite the odds and superstitions.
And you adored me.
I'm going to get you back, somehow.
There's really no other way around it.
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I think I am developing schizophrenia also sleep paralysis every night it seems. Running away from it doesn't help anymore.
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>>18929083
you a gril or a boy?
godspeed anon
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If you want my heart you'll have to rip it out of my chest because that's the only way.
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>>18928968

That or your definition of "racism" is skewed.
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It is hard to break the walls, when the only thing I ever have done is to build them up.
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Fuck love and cute girls and dating and all that crap, i'm sure i'll still feel like shit after all that stuff anyway
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>>18928263
I think an online friend of mine may have killed herself and I feel really guilty since she showed a lot of signs of depression before she dropped off the face of the earth. I have no real way of contacting her if she's offline and she hasn't been online for the last 2 weeks. She's usually on every day and leading up to her hiatus she had been heavily drinking and complaining about life and her job. Fuck
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>>18929105
Boiler and thanks.
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Met an interesting girl on okcupid last week. We had fun talks, good chemistry and we seemed like we could have something more than friendship.
Noticed she closed her profile last week. Didn't ask about it until today. Noticed some guy kept commenting her facebook pictures a few months back but wasn't her friend on facebook anymore. Shortly before I ask her if she wants something serious, I ask her about that guy and she tells me she closed it because she went back with her ex and didn't tell me anything about it until today.
I'm getting drunk again tonight!
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>>18929136
She's getting plowed right now, drop your oneitis and move on to better things.
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>>18929143
Yeah she regularly alternates her dick carousel whenever pissed, I've learned that, but nah, I'm not going to, at least not before ruining the current one.
There are no better things.
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You stupid bitch. You'll criticize me day and night if I want to go out with some friends, but the times you want to go out and party I just tell you to have fun. All I ask is you shoot me a text when you're headed home. I don't know what the fuck your problem is, you insecure fuck. I can't go an hour without you blowing me the fuck up.

You have the same, if not worse, issues with drugs and alcohol. Grow the fuck up and look in a mirror. The only reason I don't leave you is because you'd have no fucking life otherwise. Nowhere to live, no car, you'd lose your job. Fuck you, fuck love.
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I'm sorry I was too afraid to trust myself with you. You were best girl, hands down. I just haven't been able to trust myself for a very long time. I could never trust that I could be loved. So I chose to let the wrong one in, because I didn't need her to love me.

I hope I did a good enough job of hiding how much I cared, and I hope you never wanted me anyway. I hope I never made you suffer, because like I said, you were best girl. I thought I was the wrong one, not you.

I committed myself to getting in touch with my true self, to be able to feel my heart again. And still my inner critic tells me that I'm not right for you. Not good enough. You deserve someone with a heart, who listens better than me. But god damn do I miss ya. I really hope I was nobody, but I really wish I could've been somebody to you. There is too much pain in my life for you to be exposed to. You are a good person. I, am not. Not yet...
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>>18929149
You disgust me and I demand you suicide now.
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I've been having a panic attack for 5 days straight, aside from occasional sleep. Always butterflies. Can't eat. Racing thoughts. All my friends want to hang out. I don't. A doctor recently told me I might be schizophrenic, and I might meet the criteria. The toes on my right foot are black. My teeth are bleeding. I keep pouring beer over them to cure the pain, which of course, causes the pain. I'm allergic to opiates, and pot causes panic attacks now. I'm living in a cold house with my ex-girlfriend and a cat and dog, writing. At least I tell people I'm writing. I've burned almost every bridge. I'm very sick of people. My facebook is only used to know which of my friends are dead or alive, and to call people out for supporting dumb shit until they delete me because I'm not wrong, but I am an asshole. I don't know if I'll have lived as long as I have, again. I don't believe in an afterlife. I think now is the time and here is the place. I'm slowly torturing at least 3 girls who I'm friends with, but don't talk to because they'll try to fuck me and my roommate/ex-gf would not let me live with her through the winter if I fucked around with any of them. I'm #1 on Battlefield 1 most matches now. Been speed running old Pokémon games, but not on Twitch, just for fun. Thanks.
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All things considered I still care, I hope you are okay.
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>>18929165
>You disgust me
How so?
And why should I care what you think?
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You comfort me in ways the one who is meant to love me, should.
We know one another on a level that even our partners don't, not because we haven't tried to open up. But because they simply don't try to understand.

I want to chill with you. I want to just, kick back and relax with you. Shoot the shit.
Be ourselves.

You give me your time. You listen to me rant and rage, I do the same for you.
We just seem to get one another.

I don't know if either of us are happy in our current situations or relationships.
I kind of want to know. But I also don't want to ruin anything.
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>>18929179
Go fuck yourself
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I want to kill myself so much but I can't do it. I just can't bring myself to buy a gun and do it. I think it's my fear response.
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>>18929228
That's good. You could be stupid and put it in your mouth, pull the trigger, and not die. Just become half of a soul, aware of it, and not able to move or speak.
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>>18929247
Reminds me of an episode of South Park where a guy says he's "taking the easy way out," but he just ends up shooting his jaw and other non-lethal areas like twenty times.

And if I ever get the stones to do it, I'll put the barrel against the right side of my cranium so that wouldn't happen.
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>>18929247
Oh, did you mean like being brain dead? Yeah that's one of my worst fears, which is another reason why I'll aim for my cranium.
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>>18928968
Let me guess, you make racist and offense generalizations about white people to the point it pisses some one off and says something offensive about your race to intentionally piss you off. That isn't racism, that is being a dick until someone lashes out.
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>>18928263
>living back at home
>currently holding part time job to pay parent's rent, other expenses but still job searching for a job that can let me move back out
>youngest brother still has no license, never held a job, etc.
>every time either get mentioned he huffs, puffs, slams doors and goes back to his room or mumbles and shuffles away
>parents babied him so much they won't put their foot down
>even offered to let him practice in my vehicle, he conveniently sleeps in and says he feels too bad to practice
>tell him they're hiring seasonal at where I'm at, but he laughs and tells me it's a shitty job that he's basically too good for

Dude, you're how old? You're acting like a child. You're an adult and there are certain things expected of you right now. I'm just worried about you. You have maybe one friend and it's obvious you want more since when my friends stop by you hover around us all the time. Just do something with yourself man, goddamn.
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>>18929276
I don't know if I should put this out there, but whatever. The most effective way if a tilted mirror and the gun aimed at the back of your head, with the front against a wall.
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>>18929276

Build some sort of rube goldberg suicide machine.
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>>18929353
Hey, sounds like me except I have a stupid amount of friends with couches. Why don't they kick him out?
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>>18929362
>I don't know if I should put this out there
Sounds like you're worried you'll encourage someone. Don't be; the only people who would try it already want to do it, and using a mirror only helps them avoid pain. I'd probably just free-hand it, but the mirror's a good idea.

>>18929369
>Rube Goldberg
LOL, it's hilarious you mentioned that, because I actually designed something like that about a year ago using a bicycle helmet and plumbing parts. I never assembled it, because (like I said earlier) I'm too scared to actually go through with it.

I went on a vacation with my dad a few months ago and our hotel was about 14 stories high. Every time I looked over the edge I just imagined how my family would feel if I jumped, and I couldn't bring myself to do that to my dad. It's like death is just so close and available to me, but I'm not strong enough to do it.
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>>18929372

Like I said, he's been babied from birth to young adulthood. That and since he has maybe one friend (that probably won't let him move in) if they kick him out he'd be on the streets.

I'm just venting since I'm tired of him taking any advice or talk about him doing something, anything, as an insult. Nobody is barking at him daily, it's just every now and then a polite talk. He's been offered lots of things that he just turns his nose up to. I'm tired of him acting like he's better than anyone else and has great knowledge of how the world works when in fact he knows nothing and has done nothing.
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You're disappointing me more and more. It's like you don't even try nowadays. Spare me the heartache and just straight up tell me you're not interested anymore.
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I just got out of a seven-year, fucked up relationship. While we were together, he refused to hold down a job, cheated on me, and generally forced me to support him financially besides being an alcoholic. He's already moved in with one of the girls he cheated on me with, convinced her to cheat on her boyfriend of a year, and "adopted" her kids and it's only been a month. I know he was/is a piece of shit and I'm better off without him.

But that doesn't stop me from missing him.

Why.

I wish he was dead. I just want this pain to stop. I'm so tired.
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>>18928263
I love having sex with whores. They don't judge me, they're hotter than any woman I could ever hope to get, and they don't expect any strings. I can fuck them however I want (mostly obviously I'm wearing a condom) and they are experts at sex so the sex is always fantastic. Why does that ruin me for a "normal" relationship? It's bullshit. I love to fuck and since I can't get any the old fashioned way then what's wrong with procuring the services of a professional?
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I want a cute Japanese girlfriend!
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>>18928263

Women have destroyed our system of family household for the sake of bourgeois women who wanted to run businesses and ventures as a hobby caring nothing for the lives attached. 80% of women chase the top 20% of women while 70% of the men in my generation have opted out of the entire thing. Our people are dying off while the government is subsidizing everyone else to the point where black women have become the most educated group this generation. All the while squandering it on athletes degrees like black history and communications.

Some one fucking invade us, I am voyeur to our own end.
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I just want to get fucked to the sweet sweet sounds of Rammstein :c
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Well, there's no stopping now. Shit.

So, this was basically made into a date, didn't it?
I meant it as a prank but then I realized what the fuck I did. You genuinely seem interested, which only makes me even more worried.

Why did I ever do this? I only did it out of pity but you just keep on prodding me.
If you sneak onto my internet corners, then I'm going to just outright say what the fuck I know you want me to say.

After that we'll go back to not speaking to each other...or not. I don't know.
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I'm so sick of being alone, but I have no idea how to meet people.
I work 40 hours a week in an office and all my hobbies are solitary (playing guitar, reading, etc).
I tried dating using Tinder, but it always ends with me being even more lonely and depressed than I was before.

I miss how easy it was to make friends in school.
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>>18929524
Tinder women are trash because 90% of all men that visit their profile will compliment them trying to get into their pants, fueling them with arrogance.

Try meeting friends through your interests, like guitar! Maybe try jamming with some amateur musicians, make some friends, and then from the friends you can meet a girlfriend.
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Being a musician in a house share is horrible. I'm so scared of singing in my room because I know my housemates can hear me. My housemates, who I'm painfully awkward and near silent around most of the time. Even when I do manage to sing it comes out strained or breathy because I don't want to make too much noise. I kinda have to do it though because I'm writing songs and need to record things and send them to my bandmate, but I always make such a fucking huge deal out of it in my head and the results are always so sub par compared with what I know I can do. Then that reinforces my fear because then I know they can hear me sing badly.. I think it's honestly become a phobia at this point.
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>>18929536
>fueling them with arrogance
Yeah, I've definitely seen that.
I absolutely hate this shit app, but it's the only way I've gotten dates in the last few months.

>Maybe try jamming with some amateur musicians
I'm too shit for that, I can barely even play anything.
I only started learning a few months ago.
I wish I had an interest that involved interacting with other people.
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>>18929539
nigga, try doing that when literally the entire world is watching you. Try fucking doing anything when you know the entire world is watching you.

Everything is embarrassing.

The only thing that helps put that kind of shit out of your mind is to think "Well, they've been listening to me this entire time, so..." You can only be embarrassed once, after that it just becomes routine.
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I know where you live and I know where you work.
I know your contacts and where you frequent.
I know.
This psychotic break was relieving.
I can only imagine how it will be when it culminates, but please, continue producing more rage-inducing material.
It will make the conclusion all the more satisfying for me.
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>>18929568
Yeah fair point. It really is one of those "only way is through" scenarios. They've definitely heard some awful shit today.

I've been lucky in the past, I used to live with a guy that also made music (who I'm writing stuff with now) and so there was always a mutual understanding that recording usually means doing lots of shitty ass takes to get warmed up before doing it well. I could pretty much let loose and I was probably a better singer as a result of just having the practice. For some reason now I'm just finding it hard to stop giving a shit around people that I barely know.
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I think I'm having a depression relapse and I'm scared.
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how do i make up for all the things i missed out on as a child?
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>>18929632
fuck children
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See I CAN'T get back on my feet without because forced to gargle cock and CAN'T FUCKING RIP THIS GOD DAMN HOOK OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD.
See you knew, exactly what would happen to me.
I'm going to take him away from you.
I'm going to make sure you're there to watch.
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>>18929642
how did i know this is the response iwould get
honestly though a lot of pedos actually did just have a terrible childhood and are trying to make up for it (albeit in a fucked up way). i dont feel that way though and i dont think that works anyway
im talking things like never being allowed out of the house and rarely going to friends houses, never going on family vacations, having no really close friends.
how can you experience that again, is it possible?
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>>18929682
How old are you?

College was a lot like being a child. Going over to friends houses, going out on little adventures randomly (like going to the beach, big cat sanctuaries, ren fairs) staying up late to finish homework, no one having any real responsibilities, and most importantly... no real romantic relationships. You basically just need a bunch of single people with no jbbs, no kids, and no bills to live the care free (aka child) life.

The older you get the harder it becomes because people end up having careers which suck down all their time or the big killer, being married with children.
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>>18928263
The entire day I was nervously ruminating about a girl that I have a major crush on, thinking about if I should ask her out or not. I was listening to a playlist of my liked music in my dorm, all of the sudden the Shin's cover of Wonderful Christmas Time comes on. This song immediately brings back memories of decorating and fun times with my family as a kid. It immediately takes my mind off of this girl and I remember that even if she rejects me (which she probably will) I still have this awesome family to fall back on. I found myself looking forward to opening the old ornaments and having our family over.

For that brief moment my family was together again, happy, decorating for Christmas. It was like I was there, I could feel the chilled air coming through the door and the smell of the candles.

Then it was over.

Then I remembered that my parents divorced a couple years ago, that my Mom and Dad aren't the same people they used to be. I remembered that my entire family won't be in the same house for Christmas like they used to. My Dad will be embarrassingly drunk with his gf that's half his age, my Mom will be sulking again like always. Truth is, I don't even know why I want to come back for Christmas, it's just going to be shit.

I hope this girl likes me, I really do. I want someone in my life to love again, but deep down I'm pretty sure she doesn't even think about me.
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>>18929507
Initial
>>
I feel so irritated that no one stays after all the promises made and heartfelt things that were said
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I really hope I don't still come here if I start liking someone new. I only come here to bitch about my breakup, which is already a waste of brain cells. It seems like an even bigger waste of brain cells to have an enabling platform for your overthinking and whining before you even get the girl.
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>get stuck watching the car with friend's gf while the group of buddies go get drinks/bottles
>ask if she play LoL since it's the main game the bros play that keeps social ties,among other games kinda like watching sports.
>no
>turns out she's a normie
She isnt going to last long here,I give it 3-4 more months before she moves on.
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Femanon here, I am really beta and have no friends, so I got bored and made an OkCupid profile with my runescape deets on it for the lols. I now have over 100 messsages in my inbox and I don't know wha to do. I am sort of interested in talking to ppl but I'm kind of scared. Wat do?
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>>18929726
i get what your saying, thats definitely part of it. but when i think about doing that now it just doesnt compare with doing it as a kid. theres something missing, and i dont think merely replicating what life would be like does it any justice.
>You basically just need a bunch of single people with no jbbs, no kids, and no bills to live the care free (aka child) life.
the carefree life isnt the same as childhood, i dont know what it is, but theres something there that the carefree life doesnt have. perhaps its innocence, not having to think about much, or maybe just being able to get lost in your own world with no outside responsibilities.
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is the IRS reallllyyyy that butthurt over $90?

How many hours have you people wasted trying to get $90 from me?

I'm never giving you that money.

I'm never paying any fucking taxes ever again.

You can't pick and choose which parts of the law apply to me. You violate pretty much every right I have as a human being for fuck's sake, let alone as a US citizen.

Sometimes I wonder if you people are just really really fucking stupid or really really shitty. I'm pretty sure it's both though.
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I don't know why I push people away. My whole life I've pushed everyone away. I have no friends. My family reaches out to me and I don't respond. And now I took a job in Alaska. Why am I so scared of having relationships with other people
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>>18928263
why don't I have any motivation to do anything?
nothing can motivate me, after the redpill life looks extremely depressing the way things are going.

why can I cheer up and support others but not myself.
>>
I happened to see an ex-girlfriend of mine at a book sale I went to, who I hadn't seen again after the day she broke up with me.

For reasons I cannot even fathom she tried to give me a hug. I just stepped back, and right after walked away. I saw her make a sad face when I refused to interact with her, and I feel good for that. I don't know about her, but I don't look back at our time together with any fondness whatsoever.
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How do I give advice without it sounding like some goddamn cliche insincere slogan?
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>>18929945
you're anonymous. give fewer fucks. say the things.
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>>18929884
If I'm a guy on OKCupid, I probably have all the friends I'd need. What's missing is a poosy. There's a hundred guys who probably want your poosy and not much else.
This may sound cynical, and it is, but you sound like a sweet girl and I don't want to see you get used and tossed aside, which is much more likely to happen on a dating site than meeting some sweet friends.
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>>18928263
I'm gay and in love with a woman who will never speak to me again.
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I keep worrying that you really don't know about what I did and one day you'll find out and hate me for it. But I also worry that you do know and you just expect me to have the common decency to never bring it up again.
You're the best person in the entire world and I love you so much. You keep me alive. What if I fucked up?
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>>18929133
This gave me feels
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>>18929931
Not trolling but you might be gay... subconsciously the understanding that you would be treated differently can push one to seek avoidance from many people
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>>18929910
Reccommend you make enough money to swat proof your house.
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>>18929884
Get a job at GameStop. You'll probably get hired just because female and you can check out any gamers who come in. Take your pick; a gamer chick is a treasure.
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>>18929619
Get over it
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>>18930012
I'm pretty sure SWAT wouldn't want to get near the people defending me right now.

Or you know, my army of religious zealots and fanatics that would literally die for me.
>>
I can't do it.

I wake up in the morning, force myself to get out of bed, take a shower and brush my teeth. I work on my hair, dress up, drink some coffee and convince myself I am not doing too horribly without him, that the pain is completely manageable and that I'm already beginning to heal. I come across him on campus, look away immediately and start to hyperventilate, but this time I find a way to relax. No panic attack, thankfully. I get on with my morning, try to focus on class and take notes, but my mind keeps wandering off. At lunch I start feeling out of it. I check my phone a couple of times, secretly hoping he will have texted me. He didn't. He won't. I head off to work and that's when my mood begins to deteriorate rapidly. I can't finish any of my tasks. Speaking with my coworkers is a struggle. My boss asks to see me in his office. I sit down, stare at him but can't hear a word that comes out of his mouth. Anxiety starts building up. I go to the restroom, wash my face, my hair is all messed up, I look like shit. I go back to my office and decide to check his social media. He hasn't been posting anything. I keep looking at my phone. Still no message. It can't be possible that he doesn't miss me. He has to. I leave work. This time I decide to walk home instead of getting an Uber, as I usually do. It's almost summer and the air is humid and uncomfortably warm. I can't stand this city anymore. It belongs to him -- I see him in every building, in every lamppost, in every fucking hydrant. I try to hold my tears until I get to my apartment, but fail miserably. I feel so exhausted, so nauseated, so destroyed, that I start bawling in the middle of street, as passersby look at me perplexed. I get home and the sobbing continues for at least two hours. Thoughts of desolation, hopelessness, suicide. I miss him terribly. I cannot imagine living without him. I pray. I supplicate. I need him back. I can't stand another day of this suffering.
>>
>>18929993
what'd you do?
>>
>>18930036
just how alpha was the guy?
>>
>>18929819
I'm not telling until you tell yours.
That being said, I know she's not lurking here.
>>
>>18930061
Fucking kek
>>
due to a complex history of trauma and insecurity i have big problems grasping my identity and who i am

for a long time there was a massive disconnect between the person i saw myself as or wanted to be, and the person i was in my every day life

i dissociated a lot - from events, from people
anything that was too much to handle i would make sure it just went away

these days the problem presents itself in anticipatory anxiety and rumination. certain situations cause such a visceral fight-or-flight response that i puke, and great nights are ultimately plagued by overthinking about poor aspects of the night that seem to uncontrollable stay on my stay on my brains autoplay until i can come to some sort of "realization" about the situation. weed usually helps me reach insights on these, but the insights never stay with me and i end up plagued by similar thoughts again and again

it would be a lie to say things aren't getting better - my life is the happiest it's been right now. i just wish i was already comfortable with managing these thoughts in a healthy way.

until then the bottle gives me a little bit of help
>>
>>18930091
man, I've never impressed a girl in a relationship so much that after breaking up with her she would write something like:
>I can't stand this city anymore. It belongs to him -- I see him in every building, in every lamppost, in every fucking hydrant.
I mean, Jesus, alpha widowhood is so real

I should use this as motivation to work out harder at the gym.
>>
>>18928263
Not really doing anything at all. Everybody actively prevents me from doing anything anyway. Not sure what the purpose of that is. Probably going to leave this terrible country soon. What a complete drag my entire life. $100 the excessive vaccine schedule here played a part in fucking me up early on, ruining my life from the get-go. Fuck this.
>>
So this is the third girl I date that turns out to be asexual. This one says she's still a virgin even, at the age of 27. How did I become a magnet for asexual girls? What the fuck is wrong with me?
>>
I want to stop taking this shitty science course and move onto my English 300's already, where hopefully I wont have to spend classes in the same room as non-english majors. Fuck Gen-eds, I thought I was done with high-school.
>>
Stories about that shitty a roommate who never cleans after himself?
Try having 3
>>
I really want to see Grizzly Bear live
>>
whenever i've spoken to my dad lately he will literally just repeat parts of what i've said to him and then go "oh ok", like he's figuring out and confirming that he understood what i said out loud

last time we went on a family holiday i got drunk every single night of the week and my dad got infuriated by totally menial shit (e.g. having to wait for somebody to put their shoes on, literally screamed out the window at a biker to "fuck off wanker"; as a passenger)

am i crazy for putting up with this guy
>>
been through depression for a year and a half because of a girl, today she told she found someone else and we'll never talk again, I just want to die rn
>>
>>18930232
quit bitching about it and hire a maid.
>>
>>18930362
I'm broke bitch if I had money for a maid I wouldn't have roommates
>>
>>18928615
Are you me, OP??
The worst part is I can't even get mad at them because they're mentally unstable and me getting angry at them will cause them to become even more depressed
>>
>>18929133
Sorry to hear that anon. That shit is never easy.
>>
I'm hangry and emotional like a fucking bitch.

Why can't I be a cold person
>>
>>18930441
>Attentionwhore ghosts orbiter
>Ohhh noooo what a horrible place the world is
>>
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>>18928263
>Best friend lives in one of the worst parts of our state.
>Where they live, there are gang shootouts and worse things happening all the time.
>I invite them to come stay with my family.
>They do, but only for a little bit.
>After a few weeks they go back because they are home sick.
>I find out from another friend who lives near them, that just the other day there was a bank robbery just down the street from them.
>They don't talk to me much any more.

I just don't want to find out one day they are gone. I feel like I have failed them, everyone says I can't control it, but I just... I don't want to lose them...
>>
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The girl I'm with really likes to be treated as a pet. I have grown to like it more and more. I'm not sure if relationships are supposed to be like this this, but it seems to work. I still find it a little bit odd that she does call me master, but as time goes by, it makes feel things.
I want to do more to her than simply pet her. Much more, and I can't stop thinking about her. It might just be too soon for that ad she wanted to wait on that.
I pretty much have to hold back as much as she does, but when she acts like that, it's hard to not want to just give into all the pent up lust and have a taste.

This is going to be hard, like muh dick.
>>
>>18930480
>Anyone who is friends with someone of the opposite gender is an orbiter.
I don't understand why people who get rejected by a girl buy into such garbage.
>>
>>18930325
>>18930325
you're free now.

i've always been the type to justify my life by the girl in it. whenever she left, the life went with her. i'd wake up on day three of the great and shivering cold, fail to find my way out of bed and end up groping for reason in the cobwebbed corners of my brain all day.

i wasted so much time thinking about whether or not she loved me. whether or not i was in her thoughts as much as she was in mine. so much time wasted.

just know now that she doesn't matter. whether she loves you now or ever did doesn't matter. all that matters is you. focus on your passions - if you have no passions, focus on finding some.

take the first steps towards the future.
>>
So, is all this sexual misconduct shit all fake? Are you guys just trying to show me that if I fuck up, even just a little bit, it all goes to shit?

And if it's true I'm going to be some kind of superstar celebrity that women are going crazy for... I'm seriously going to make every single person I have sex with sign a consent form, provide a copy of their drivers license, and sign an NDA form. I'm not dealing with that drama. It's fucking insane.

Think of all the rumors that have been started about me already by my ex's. Saying I pimped out my ex for rent money, that I was obsessed with CW or JB, that I offered DT money for sex, that I use to physically abuse ICL and all the rumors about me being misogynistic, racist, and other completely made up horseshit.

Why? Why do these women say all of this shit? Absolutely none of it was true. If VP was whoring herself out for money I had no fucking idea. She told me her dad was giving her money for college and rent which made perfect sense, he was super rich.

I had a small crush on CW for a few months my freshman year and I painted her a portrait. I also painted AS and a few of my other friends. As for JB, she modeled for me twice in college and I never showed ANYONE those photos, not even my gf at the time. I used those photos for maybe 4 paintings and that was it but apparently she thought all my paintings were of her. (Just like CW did, even though they look nothing fucking like her.)

I never hit or hurt ICL fucking everrrr other than that time she was crushing me by jumping on me. I told her for like 5 minutes straight "Get off of me, you're hurting me. If you don't get off I'm going to have to push you off." She just kept saying no. Didn't hit her, didn't even push her off of me hard. What the fuck was I suppose to do? Just let her crush the life out of me? She's not exactly a small girl.

As for TD I had no idea money was being offered for her to have sex with me. I don't even know who did it.

people are awful
>>
>>18930527
I'm starting to realize that I have surrounded myself with absolute shit-trash people. Psychopaths, liars, and narcissists. The kind of girls that always tell their new partners "My last BF was manipulative and abusive, please save me."

So yeah, I'm 100% going to have consent forms and shit like that. Women are fucking insane.
>>
>>18930517
thanks man that really means a lot to me, but it sure won't be easy, past is so beautiful and future seems so ugly and meaningless now, but I trust you on your words
>>
Been contemplating suicide for years now
I hate my job
Feel like I am unable to succeed in it because I'm constantly thrown around to different areas like a fucking pinball, but feel like they are judging me for not being good enough
Have expected to be laid off/fired for months
Unable to get my license
Can drive perfectly fine but get nervous during tests because I constantly am reminded at what is at stake if I fail: another 2 weeks to a month without it, loss of another $100+ to try again, and another period with little freedom to seek a new job/home
Parents won't let me drive their car with them, despite me offering to buy them a brand new one if I damage it
This leaves me stuck paying $50 an hour to drive through a school
Constantly want to move out or at least replace all furniture in my room
Haven't been able to save to move because mom has to take a couple hundred dollars each month
At about $9,300 "borrowed" so far this year
Just found out I apparently make too much for discounted Healthcare, despite maintaining less than $1,000 in my bank at any given time
I could easily afford to move out, or buy a lot of great stuff, or go to college, or get my license, or do countless other things to improve myself, but live in a shitty town with the nearest "city" being hours away if I were to walk
>>
>>18930541
i love to focus on the past and future as well. it can be easy to forget we live in the present, a time we can have an impact on.

focus on doing what you need to do to end your day. wake up tomorrow and give it a try. if it didn't work, oh well - try again because you can!

it won't be easy, but it will be worth doing.

i'm going through some depression myself, and I know how hard it can be to clear the haze and think rationally. i hope my words have helped to calm you somewhat.

good luck, brother. i've been there, and i'll probably be there again. get some sleep and get ready for tomorrow.
>>
>>18928615
Fine, fine.
I'll only give you my love if you're damn sure you'll reciprocate. My love isn't the kind you just take and waltz away with. You earn that shit. Wasting it, my time, and my energy is grounds for disownal.

If at any point you treat me like a doormat or dogshit, I will go back to distancing from you full time. You have enough boys in your proximity, don't ever treat me like a moon to your Jupiter.
>>
You guys... I think I'm funny as fuck. And I make myself laugh. And everyone else laugh. I have a good boyfriend, who has the absolute biggest dick I've ever had and he likes going down on me, which is something I have always been self conscious about. But he keeps doing it. Idk what I'm trying to say here because I am drunk as hell.
If you're suicidal, don't give up. You got a hustle. Hustle like your life depends on it. Because it does. I might be stupid drunk, but there was a time 6 months ago where I had a plan and everything....
Just do you.
Fuck everyone else.
Don't like school? Drop out and learn a trade.
Person cheating? Fuck em.
It might seem like the hardest thing in your life, but NOT GIVING UP will be harder.
I've been posting here for so damn long, and I always see suicide as being an answer.
You don't come back from that.
Be who you are. Always. Always be real! I care about all of you, even if you have the shittiest life ever.
When you feel like no one is there, there is someone there.
I was so close to death.. Very close.
I don't care about "oh this person will be sad if I die" no matter what, SOMEONE will be sad.
Focus on yourself.
I did.
>>
>>18930587
FUCK YEAH WISDOM
>>
When I'm in a bad mood or feeling sad my partner just sorta tells me to cheer up and then leaves, saying that "I'm making them feel bad"

I fucking hate it and want them to support me and help me feel better and not just fuck off when I'm not at my best
>>
>>18929993
I expect you to have the common decency to come clean about it and tell me yourself. Admit what you did and be ready to face consequences. Only then can I forgive you, although it may take some time
>>
>>18930036
Initials? This hits really close to home
>>
My gf dumped me about 5 or 6 months, she dated a guy after we broke up, I didn't want it to end so I stood there still fighting for her, she was just being shitty even when I tried my best.

2 months after that I met a girl that was awesome, we were getting off and dated for about two weeks, she told me she wanted a relationship with me, I panicked and told her I wasn't ready for it cause I got out of a long relationship, she stopped talking to me.

I got back with my ex cause she came crying to me and I was willing to give it a chance and the other girl found out about it a week after and blocked me from social media (fb and Instagram).

Now I really feel shitty because I don't feel the same way about my gf, I don't feel it anymore and I miss this other girl and now she hates me.
>>
I am only conscious of my own existence and every other being I am aware of is a mere actor passing through my history.
>>
People can trust each other, but to them I'm not a person. I'm dirt, so they will walk over me as much as they want and not care for me.

I will never trust people
>>
>>18930744
You have to be honest for people to trust you.
>>
>>18930764
Good bait
>>
can you please just end this already. The things I want don't cost any of you a damn fucking thing.

Just tell me the truth, set me free, and give me my medications. That's all I fucking want. The meds cost next to nothing for you people. You can give me a lifetime supply and they still wouldn't cost you anything.

can't you just build me a log cabin someone in the middle of fucking nowhere, stock it full of MREs, give me my medications, and then completely forget I exist?

I don't want a family, I don't want friends, and I don't want sex. I just want to be alone. I fucking hate people, I fucking hate all of you. I'm not being melodramatic, sarcastic, or exaggerating for effect. I legit hate all of you and never want to see another person ever fucking again.

End this already fucking christ. Do those things or fucking kill me.Just fuckign end it.
>>
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I finally decided to download Tinder and even though I managed to score a few matches, I can't bring myself to initiate contact with anyone.

No one has ever wanted to be with me in a romantic sense so I'm struggling to see how people can see me like that now and I've always found that I'm always the one trying to initiate things. People have always been shit with me when it comes to talking and getting together with anything.

Everything is just exhausting now.
>>
Yeah, saying "God told me to kill these people." is going to get me a one way ticket to the crazy bin.

Go fuck yourselves people. Why are you putting so much effort into making me look schizo?

I hate you people.
>>
>>18930814
Buy your own medications, your own land, and your own building supplies/labor, and do this shit yourself. If its so cheap, you should be able to manage.
>>
>>18930627
They are a shitty partner, call them out on it.
>>
>>18930850
1. You know who I am.
2. Why the fuck do you faggots keep the charade up.
3. You know I can't do any of those things.
>>
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I'm so fucking bored.
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>>18930889
>Why the fuck do you faggots keep the charade up.
The real question is why you continue to expect others to do for you while expecting to give nothing in return?
>>
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>skipping more and more university lectures
>no motivation to learn, just ashamed of myself
>no hobbies
>shallow friends
>constant negative emotions
>only alcohol cheers me up
I'm a failure
>>
>>18929993
Just tell them.
>>
>>18930904
Again, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

You stole my fucking life from me, experimented on me, and have been literally torturing me my entire fucking life. Then you tell me that "I saved the world" by being people's escape.

And you fucking faggots can't give me basic rights.

Again, my freedom and the truth costs you fuckfaces literally nothing.

Take your own fucking advice faggot. You take everything from me, you take and take and take and give nothing in return.

Don't think you're safe. If I survive this that means none of you will.
>>
>>18930478


iknooow the feel
>>
>>18930915
>You stole my fucking life from me, experimented on me, and have been literally torturing me my entire fucking life. Then you tell me that "I saved the world" by being people's escape.
I have done none of that. So what makes me think that you are entitled to my work?

>And you fucking faggots can't give me basic rights.
What is a "right," to you? Please define it.

>Again, my freedom and the truth costs you fuckfaces literally nothing.
Wrong. Medicine, property, and a house would cost me money, which is a representation of my very finite time on this earth.

>You take everything from me, you take and take and take and give nothing in return.
What have I, personally, taken from you?
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>>18930922
you just might be literally retarded.
>>
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>>18930927
Ad homs and insults get you nowhere.
>>
I hate how much unwarranted praise I receive from my peers. Yes, I make more then normal and I am more successful then the people around me, but please stop. Compare me against my potential not against the immediate people surrounding me.

Worse still are the ones who find out I have a disability and know I could stay home all day an make neet bucks. I intentionally hide it so they don't treat differently but someone always runsheir mouth. The praise I get from them disgusts me the most.

Nothing I do is praise worthy, just because I am doing better than you and the naionl average, and jus because I am doing better than 99% of people with my condition who tend to never get even a shit job or be part of society; it doesn't make me successful or praiseworthy. I failed myself and my potential, your praise is just a reminder of my failure.
>>
>>18930935
>Yes, I make more then normal and I am more successful then the people around me
It's than, not then. In both circumstances.
>>
>>18930937
The glaring typos should've stood out more and made it clear I am not sober.
>>
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I am scared again
Of losing everybody
Why am I like this?
>>
>>18930942
All it made clear is that you're not living up to your potential.
>>
>>18930944
Because you realize that you aren't as awesome of a person as you could be. You realize you are wasting your potential.
>>
That picture of the girl with the pink thong and hot pants is grimesy, isn't it?

If she's my soul mate, where is she? Why is she keeping me waiting for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.

She realizes I want to die right?

She's not going to want to be with me. If she came a month ago, maybe. But now I know everyone is fucking awful, that you're all fucking liars, and I want nothing to do with another human being ever fucking again.
>>
>>18930946
Thank you anon.
>>
>>18930950
I mean, there are all those songs about me and the art and all the times she's been in my dreams.

Then again, there was that dream where she was with my brother. I don't expect her to tell the truth about anything either.

Also, that time I was saying how I wouldn't care about your "secret" and I heard someone in the distance (probably my niece) go "AWWWWW". And yes, I can keep a secret. Even though it doesn't seem to be all that much of a SECRET.

I'm tired. I hate everything. I want to go home. I want to be a pretty lady.

I want to be alone.
>>
>>18930929
Sorry, I was wrong.

You are literally retarded.
>>
>>18930965
I'm retarded because I don't agree with you in that I owe you anything in exchange for nothing?
>>
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>>18928263
Don't know how to fucking go on.

It's like there is this fucking fog in my head that won't go away and I just want to lie in bed all day. I'm completely overwhelmed by even everyday life shit.

My room is a fucking garbage dump, has been bad for a few weeks but now it's hell. I can't muster the energy to clean. My toilet is still blocked so I use the public one or go to the pub for a shit. I piss in the sink.

It's so hard to answer anyone on Facebook and I think I lost my passport. I fucked my second pair of glasses and my favorite suit jacket.

It's especially bad in the morning like being fucking drugged or super hungover.

Everything is fucked and I feel like I need help but I don't have the energy to do
Anything.
>>
>>18928615
Had the same thing this year. Girl with bpd,
Went on for a year, destroyed my existing relationship.
>>
>>18930969
No, you're retarded because you're retarded.
>>
>>18928263
I want an 18 year year old chick and twink to do with as I please when I please. How do I get this?
>>
I wonder how many times I've sinsulted the girls on this board.

Probably a lot.

You shouldn't stare into the truth turtle's eyes. People can't handle the truth.

I'm fat and I want to die.
>>
>>18931026
I insulted them too,feels good desu
>>
>>18929278
If someone kept calling you a scat fetishist, would you start off denying it, then try to defend it, and finally end up saying that scatfags are right to be attracted to shit?
>>
>>18929278
Nope, I always make sure not to generalize because I'm not an asshole. The thing is, the people I debate with more often than not fit into the specific category of people I'm talking about when racism is being discussed, so they try to softly defend their views from "I'm not one of them, but...", like some sort of double-agent, but they ultimately end up exposing themselves for what they are. It's very funny.
Also, see >>18931052.
Proving that people were right about you all along is shooting yourself in the foot, and blaming them for suspecting you in the first place is just shifting the blame.
>>
>>18930567
thanks man it really helps a lot to have advice from someone when you're lost
>>
>>18931011
How old are you?
>>
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I know you guys aren't where you normally are, I know you are living close to me now. Kinda weird how everyone stopped recording at their original locations all at once.

If you could, get together and try to kill me. Just make it quick please. I really really want to fucking die. I just suck at taking pain and I have no means to do it myself. So, if you could find me like a shit ton of heroin or suicide pills or just give me a gun I'll do it myself. LIke, right away. Without hesitation.

If you want to test me to see if I'm just saying this for attention go ahead. Ever see that video of a chinese man giving his son a loaded gun because the kid kept saying he wanted to die and the father thought he was just doing it for attention? The second that kid got the gun he blew his brains out.

I want to fucking die. I don't want to do this anymore. even if I end up winning, I still just want to fucking die. I'm still going to be broken. I'm still going to be unable to feel happiness or joy and want to live.

I'm bored out of my fucking mind. I played Battlefront 2 trial and I was like "Man, that had to be at least 3 or 4 hours." and it ended up being less than 1 hour. Everything drags on and on and on and on. Even doing things that should be fun are completely joyless and agonizing. I play games, I watch movies, I paint but still... I'm bored out of my fucking mind the entire time.

You'll tell me "It's the drugs!" but you would be wrong. It was like this as a child as well. There's a reason I never want to hang out with people or go out to do things. It's pointless. I can be miserable and bored at home, why would I go out to be miserable and bored?

The medications help but you assholes are against them completely. Maybe its because you are incapable of seeing things in anyone elses perspective but your own or maybe you're just assholes. Its not considered abuse if you actually need the meds. Is this so hard for you faggots to understand?

So yeah, just fucking kill me.
>>
>>18931038
I don't enjoy it nor do I feel bad about it.

I fucking hate everything.

Fucking kill me.
>>
>tfw small penis
No woman will ever take me seriously.
>>
>>18931112
I don't get it, why are you people constantly posting about small dicks and big dicks? Just non fucking stop.

are you people that insecure? are you trying to make a point? I don't get it.
>>
>>18931117
>are you people that insecure?
Yes.
>>
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Fuck you, anon.
Stop talking about how great you project is coming along and how fucking great it's gonna be for your career.
Stop rubbing it in my face you left me behind in the dust. It's the only fucking thing you even want to talk about.
You don't even seem to realize it.

It's like I'm a confessional chair all my friends visit just to fucking gloat about themselves and how great their achievements are. Oh and I always listen, I always fucking listen and engage in the conversation.
But in the rare case I actually bring something up that went well in my life, all I fucking get is a "oh that's nice". End of the fucking conversation.

People only fucking think of themselves.
>>
Is it possible for girls to have a foot fetish?

You people are freakishly interested in my feet at times.

But then again you're not exactly girls, now are you?
>>
>>18931210
>If you could, get tog
we're fembots with foot fetishes.

Ofcourse it's possible.


i didn't know it exsisted before i got together with my boyfriend 5 years ago. I'm still gratefull to this day he introduced me to it.
>>
>>18931210
same anon here,. idk where the greentext came from....
>>
I always thought you were attractive, stunning.
But I was wrong.
I saw a you that was never really there.
You molded yourself to be what I wanted at the start then over the years, you were trying to change me. Mold me into the ideal women for you.
No matter how much I would say I wont do things that aren't me, you still did it.
You manipulated me, guilt tripped me and abused me on an emotional level. Everything I once was, was replaced.
I became someone who wanted your approval.
You said you just wanted to help me and be there for me. You were just trying to give me a better life.
But my eyes are open to all of this now.
Manipulating me with words, gifts, and emotional and verbal abuse.
Eager to point out my flaws, quick tempered when I did something you don't like or have a different view on things, people or situations.

The reason you are look more ugly to me, is because I have seen the real you. The version of you that you hide from everyone else.
You act differently depending on who you are around. And it is starting to really bother me now.

Everything you do, is for your own gain. You aren't really interested in anyone other than yourself and what you want.
You're arrogant and self obsessed.

I guess I never really knew the real you. But now I do.
>>
>>18931280
I feel like I just woke from this sort of covert abuse too. I think my person is a narcissist. I haven't been able to make a break from them yet, though. I'm addicted to the relationship.
Were you able to get out?
>>
I don't think I'm im a proper relationship anymore. I'm not really attracted to my gf anymore, I'm not all that interested in sex in general anymore. Sometimes we don't see each other for a few days and I don't notice.

We're slowly fading out of each others life and I'm fine with it.
>>
>>18928269
No one is ever ready for children, but everyone pulls through when they have’em.
Also, being a young parent has its perks
t. Son of a 28 and a 19 y/o. I didn’t grow into poverty.
>>
zoe?
>>
>>18930983
Are you on medication for depression?
>>
>>18930935
You could have worse problems, humble bragger lol I'm in the complete opposite situation. I'm debilitated by my condition. Why aren't you? What's your secret? Pls respond.
>>
I think you value our friendship more than I knew, which makes me even more glad we met, even if it takes my heart a while to get over you.

Sorry I didn't want to tell you about the thing at first
>>
Got away from my abusive relationship. I’ve been crying every day since then. I feel like I lost a part of myself and wish I found the will to have left sooner.
>>
>>18931373
>t. Son of a 28 and a 19 y/o
How's that? Your parents what are they like?
I'm curious about these sort of relationships, asking for a friend.
>>
are there more people who have trouble with eating?

not that i want to stay this way but it feels like i'm the only one. As well as that the problem with not eating feels too light to talk it over with a professional and kinda afraid that i won't be taken seriously about it because i do not look sick or skeleton-ish

it's more the problem of the fact that i have to chew and digest the food than wanting to stay skinny or losing a couple of pounds.

don't get me wrong, i love how food tastes but i don't like chewing it and having it in my body.

is there anyone out there who experiences the same thing or had similar experiences? what did you guys do?
>>
The dumbest memories resurface the further you get towards death.
I hope life will just reset, and I'll just have to spend those years alone until I find you again.
That's much better than the alternative.
>>
>>18928263
Dear cute outdoorsy adventure lady who I’ve still got a massive crush on,

I’m so glad I had the balls to call you, even though I haven’t seen you since August when I moved 2,000 miles away back to the east coast. Even despite that, somehow you were absolutely thrilled to talk to me. You know it’s funny because I know both of us had feelings for each other at some point, and I get the impression that you still might, since not only are happy to talk to me, but throughout our conversation you kept trailing back to how great it will be when I’m actually able to move out west for good. I’m so happy you got that apprenticeship position guiding as a naturalist up in Moab, I’m excited for you that you’re doing what you love. You’re smart, and tough, and a joy to be around. I know you’ll be great at it. Honestly, even if I’m not out there for a while and even if nothing ever happens between the two of us, I’m still glad that you’re my friend. I think if you really want to be with somebody in that way, you want to be their friend first. A couple days later after we talked, you sent me a link about how Jupiter and Venus were about to align and where I could see it in the night sky, all the way back east. You remembered how much I love astronomy, and I know from that that you were thinking about me. You’re giggly and awkward and so cute it’s ridiculous. When I tell you funny things even from so far away, the sound of your laugh puts butterflies in my stomach. I can’t stand it.

I swear to god, some day I’m gonna drive back out to Utah and chase you down.
>>
I'm in a really dark place at the moment.

I'm afraid of the nothingness and stagnation that lies ahead in the coming years, and I'm convinced that I'm a unwanted presence anyhow.

I don't want any of this. I want to get rid of these things that stop me from being tolerable. There's no way to do it though. It's too far gone.

I don't want any of this. Not anymore.
>>
>>18930202
Anime when?

Maybe you don't show enough sex drive?
>>
>>18931774
Same, just accept it and hate the world back. Shit sucks but at least you'll have an release.
>>
>tfw she actually listened and fucked off
Feels good man
>>
This semester is SO fucking exhausting. I've never been this busy in my life. I carpool to campus everyday. I get up a 5am, get there at 7:30am, and can't leave till 4, and I don't get home till 6:30.

During that time on campus, I spend every little second doing homework. Sometimes I'll manage to get a little free time, sometimes I have to rush to get things done. Being a huge morning person, I need that 3 hours at home before bed to decompress. Final exams are coming up and I need to study, but every class feels the need to keep piling on homework and I'm falling behind. Not to mention I'm taking the JLPT again this year during exams week, and I need to study for that.

I get so damn busy that I need to sit down for a minute during the day and take a breather to get my bearings straight. I'm an easygoing person, not a damn busybody. Its killing me.
>>
>>18931729
I know how this feels. And yeah I do hope life resets too, with a better life, and that I find that one person again.
>>
My friend ironically asked me to marry her.
I wanted to unironically say yes.
>>
I just want to spend a day with you.

Watch some films, eat what ever we want, enjoy some drinks and just laugh our pains and struggles away.

We have something most people are looking for.
I just want to spent some time with you.
>>
>>18932223
I relate so hard
>>
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How long shall I wait?
How much time will there be
In the break that you are taking?
Would you try to leave me?

Are you different from the rest?
What was I trying to expect?
Was our relationship a test?
Did you leave out of respect?

I'm not sure if I'm polite
My thoughts are barely that
I recognize how that's not right
And beat them down with a bat

No matter how hard I try
Those thoughts rise back up to me
All the more reason why
I should make progress for you to see

My struggles are barely unique
I see you're burdened, too
By demons making your reality bleak
Different, but difficult to fight through

Among them, I see an angel
Beaten and torn at the wings
Someday I'd wish to make the fight less painful
Then I'd help to make you sing

I wished we could fight together
Against the problems that plague us both
We could face them under stormy weather
And bury them all under an oath

An oath might be too much effort
It would be a failure to start right away
But it's not an idea I'd desert
As long as the possibility comes one day

For now I write dumb letters
As I await your return back home
You not seeing them is for the better
Especially not this dorky poem
>>
I have no friends, everyone I was close to I have pushed away. Sad face.
>>
>>18931973
What’s stopping you buddy?
>>
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>it's an "anon can't sleep over a problem they made worse" episode
What a night to be awake for
>>
This girl that I've known since highschool just sent me nudes last night and we were talking dirty to each other last night but its like even though I'm still doing it and partaking in it, I'm really not that into it. She has to be one of the sexiest girls I've ever seen. But I can't get into it because I've known her for a while and I just find it weird. And we cant even snapchat each other like just as friends anymore everytime we talk shes taking her shirt off or showing off her body to me and teasing me. Its freaking me out because I could never imagine her saying these things to me or acting like this.

To be quite honest even though she's insanely hot I have never felt more uncomfortable and creeped out and I'm not really sure what to do about this.
>>
You knew that my father was a pedophillic Nazi who's spine was broken by the ravenous demands of his contemptible shrew of a mother, yet you recommend I stay captive in his lair with insidious snark, knowing that the more I stay there, the more my subconscious is altered into becoming exactly like the facade of a man.
And now I have to bear the brunt of failed redemption on top of this, knowing everything was stripped from me by my own actions along with karmic debt that crept up in sickly inconvenience.
You know if I stay there for long I will peel the man's face off and stick it to the wall.
You know that worse will come now that I choose to remain elsewhere.
>>
Fuck my life. I'm not responsible with money. I feel like I'm a failure most of time time. Fuck everything fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why I couldn't grow up rich. Fuck I ride my bike everywhere. I can't even afford a car
>>
>>18928263
I find myself able to communicate with you far better than anyone else I’ve ever met, and I just feel at peace when I’m with you. You’re awkward in the same way I am but it just makes you that much more adorable, it’s such an endearing quality. You know the world I come from, and I know yours, and in that way we have a place to ourselves, our own little secret hideaway within each other’s hearts no matter where we go together and it just makes me love you more. You’re someone who gets me, and I sure as hell get you. I love how we can revel in that together. I know you’ve had a rough time of things, that you’re a survivor like I am, but I’m so glad we each understand that because it only makes things better, better because I can actually hold you tight and you can hold me, and it makes what we have that much more meaningful. I’m so happy that we are vulnerable with one another. You’re strong, and brave, and tough as nails, and it just makes you that much more attractive to me. You’re so thoughtful and conscious and there’s this tremendous inner world, swirling around inside of you. I find myself drawn in by it. In that way, you’re the type of person I could never stop exploring.

When I first met you, I was terribly injured, coming out of a pretty dark place. I was cynical, I was done, but then I met you and you showed me that another human being could believe I was beautiful too, that there was something of value within me, and that I could believe that about myself as well. You showed me that life could be made beautiful and full of joy again.

You are an angel, and I love you more than words can express, you small fiery adventurous woman. I can’t wait to see you again.
>>
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>>18928263
Every single day I see something that reminds me about being a kid and feeling embarrassed or angry. I get angry for a few moments because of the memory, and I usually mutter something or grimace. I only now realized this is occurring way too often, and it's pretty annoying. I know I shouldn't be dwelling on these things, but the memories keep popping up every day and its hard to control how I react to them. It's like I want to get revenge for a few moments for that bad memory before it passes. I'm more worried about people noticing it than my moments of anger affecting me, because I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression that I'm always angry, only just a few intense seconds now and then throughout the day that I try not to let out on anyone.
>>
>>18932339
Don't racemix you weeb
>>
Why do I allow you to keep doing this to me? To break up with me, say it’s a break before the end of the conversation, and then I just sit here, staring at my phone, waiting for you to text me like you always do. I understand you’re going through some hard shit right now but that doesn’t mean you should push me away. I love you so much and I know you love me too, please just stop doing this to me and let us be happy together like we both know we can be.
>>
>>18932543
Hey man as a fellow broke bike rider, life could be so much worse and it feels so nice to actually get free cardio training.

I don't know how poor you are but for me, if it's free it's good.
>>
I'm more autistic than I thought.
>>
>>18928263

I've never enjoyed life, I hate all life, I hate existing itself, I never asked to be born on this fucked up planet, everyone is a narcissistic cunt who deserves the gallows, fuck this gay earth I hate all of you
>>
>>18932417
>ironically
She wasn't serious.
>>
I think I'm a good gf. I have sex with you whenever you want, I cook for you, I bake for you, I do the dishes, I don't whine when you want to spend time with friends, I don't mind when you'd rather play video games than talk to me. And yet you push me away and the jokes at my expense have gotten more frequent. I don't know. I feel so bad. I've been crying the whole day. I don't think I can handle this. I love you, but I don't like the way this is going.
>>
>>18932822
Haha get shit on whore
>>
>>18932850
Fuck off back to r9k, retard. Protip: Insulting random women won't get you laid.
>>
>>18932866
It will make me feel better about myself though!
>>
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I don't know why the FUCK my stupid fucking manager thinks that mocking me and my code is a good thing but bitch it's fucking NOT. You aren't funny when you laugh about how shit my code is OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I GET IT YOU DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I WANT TO HEAR IT OVER AND OVER. You are not fucking funny, you are not fucking clever, and maybe you shouldn't make fun of my code considering you were too stupid to do it yourself, and it was LITERALLY my first time ever doing it. Maybe just fucking tell me the issue and ask me to fix it, don't berate me and try to be funny about how shitty you think it is, just fucking ask me to make a change and I will, you don't have to be fucking rude. Then you get all confused as to why I'm being snippy back to you, just fuck you so much
>>
>>18932870
Yeah, until you remember that you're human waste rotting in your mom's basement. That feel of inferiority never quite goes away.
>>
>>18932890
You calling him that says more about your personality than his.
>>
Met a girl on the train home. Start talking. Start liking her. Ask her out. She has some problems now. She actually does. Some time passes. Ask her out again. Talking for 5 months now, everiday. She says no because se don't have enough in common...
How!?
>>
>>18932890
I got a job and don't live at home since forever, I just like insulting people.
>>
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>>18928263
i feel like garbage because of my bf. hes been so busy we rarely talk, and ive never felt so lonely, even while single. when we do talk im so filled with resentment now i cant enjoy it. its unjustified resentment too, he cant help it if hes too busy for me. im a bad person probably.
>>
>>18932811
Right, so what’s stopping you?
>>
>>18932982
Are you also busy?
>>
I can't tell if we are in an intimate relationship or if it was some sort of fever dream. I think we are.
>>
>>18932874
Your code is full of fuck.
>>
>>18932989
no. i have nothing to do at the moment. so i get to sit around all day waiting for him to come online on some app or whatever, and hope he doesnt tell me he has to study or do homework. i wanna complain to him really badly but hes got enough on his plate being a C average student in a prestigious(tm) university...
if i ever do tell him how i feel i feel like the worst scum on earth for adding to his stress.
>>
>>18929057
>You're the worst of the worst.
>I am a liar, manipulator and a coward. But at the end of the day I know when I'm done with people. You just keep trying to suck on to me, making me seem like the one who kept receiving.
>Do you seriously think I'm that spineless I'd ever take you back? Did you think I was scared of you finding out ''who I really am'' as if that wasn't the most obvious thing right from the start. What I do is play games, I fuck around.
>You on the other hand, you seriously believe that you never did anything to hurt me, to destroy me.
>I told you about all my insecurities, you knew how much what you have done hurt me. I gave you multiple chances and you kept doing it. You think I stopped talking to you out of the blue because I couldn't bear some burden?
>I didn't want to talk to you because all you would've done is try to set me up for another rejection.
>You will never accept that, what are your insecurities? What do you hate and what do you like? Sure I lied about who I am, but did I lie about my personality? I laid it all out in the open, I gave you the knife and you didn't stab me. You punctured my entire body multiple times.
>This is not meant for you to show acceptance or anything like that, I just want to show you how little you mean to me.
>You are not my love, you are not the one. You a monster who just hurt me over and over again. Before you even pretend to go the fucking I'm just insecure and scared of letting people in route, we both know that's not true. People who in theory shouldn't have meant anything to you, we're being let in closer than me instantly.
>Do you seriously think I have fond memories besides that one night I cried on your lap?
>I hate you, I left you twice already and if you get close I will do it again. There is no need for sorry because I'm not that childish or petty. There is no need for anything because I'm done with you. So stop acting as if this is anything, on my end or yours
Are you still here?
>>
>>18928263
I'm studying to be a personal trainer and while I love helping people the material I have to learn is stressing me out and makes me anxious. I need enough money to move out on my own so this stumbling block seems bigger than it probably is but I get so bored it hurts to study it
>>
>>18932895
>a person insults me baselessly
>I insult him back
>somehow that makes ME the bad person

I love this meme. Your opinion on me is utterly irrelevant, btw.
>>18932907
Well enjoy, I guess.
>>
wife of 10 years walked out on me last night. told me she wants to spend time apart and still loves me. haven't hurt this bad in my entire life.
>>
That was our bed and sheets.
This is your fucking spot.
I'm demolishing fucking everything until it's set right again, that includes him.
>>
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>>18932982
I know someone who went through a similar situation. Hang in there, distract yourself in the meantime and try to put your own priorities above the relationship you have. Take care of yourself first.
>>18932784
What does race have to do with that?
>>
>>18932986
What do you mean?
>>
>>18932997
Depends what you'd prefer.
You wanted me to summon you and to summon myself, so I did.

We're both busy as all hell so please make a quick decision before I improvise the entire day.
>>
>>18933020
She still loves you, though.
>>
Daydreaming is really addictive. I know, I'm fucking pathetic.
>>
Girls: enough already! Please stop with all the warpaint.
>>
>>18933011
I relate, you have to read a book or watch a show. Keep your mind off of him and just enjoy the time you are together. Try not to have expectations of people and you'll never be disappointed
>>
>>18933091
Can't help it
I love marching the warpath
>>
>>18933037
Weebs going for japs, keep on going friend
>>
>>18933091
but you got me caught in the undertow
>>
>>18932780

This is happening to me too. It doesn't really bother me but I think it's being caused by a lot of repressed anger and stuff, and that I need to learn to deal with those things in a different way that the one I've been using until now, since it's not working anymore. I don't know if that helps.
>>
>>18931729
>further you get towards death.
This sentence is raping my mind.
>>
>>18933055
she does, you're right, it just hurts is all i'm saying. she wants to get her own apartment and spend a few months away from me because she needs to "grow up". i don't know what to do with myself.
>>
>>18933115
Love that song
>>
>>18933131
?
>>
>>18932646
This is so beautiful.
>>
Please, do me a favor, and stay the fuck out of my shows...
Btw, the last season sucked. Who ever wrote that sucked.
No one grew as a character besides Bubbles who grew to accept a tiny dog.

I get the whole lesson of "life never ends and it is usually repetitive bullshit" and a number of other things I noticed.

I dont need to be guilt tripped while watching one of my favorites. When im listening to my old favourites on youtube either.
>>
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>>18928263
I was like 3 weeks ago on a party the gf of my best pal has held. I actually didn't want to go bcuz aspie but my friend forced me and told me there was a girl waiting on me.

I arrived half an hour later than him and most of the guests (17-21 years old) were already noticeably drunk. Therefore my bro gave me a drink which was quite a pussy mixture for me since I'm the 20 yo son of an alcoholic slav. He then mixed me a drink made out of of 80 fucking % Vodka and 20% juice. As retarded as I am i drank that crap in one sip whilst the people who saw me stared to wtf. The drink wasn't too hard btw. I was still able to interact.
After his gf introduced me to the girls around she introduced me to le chosen one which was way more introverted than me. Let's call her Sarah. (1/2)
>>
>>18928283
yes
when the victim feels like big brother is watching them
person stalking

A shadowy force is tracking your every move, said shadowy figure expects something from the one they are tracking and if it's not given to them who knows what the shadowy figure would do to them (also the shadowy figure knows where you live).

why are you stalking someone?
are you disregarding your own life when doing so? (co-dependency)
what will you do if that someone does not reciprocate your feelings?
will you use the information you have on them against them?
what are the things you have done to them without them knowing?
do you feel privacy is a virtue or just a meme?

all these questions and more are going through the head of a victim of stalking and since you are stalking them you probably aren't answering any of them.
>>
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>>18933159
After 3 hours of not even talkig once to the girl which was imo a solid 7/10 i thought it was time for another drink: Same mixture, but this time it was way too much so I puked in the bathroom twice like the prealcoholic I am. I left the party and woke up next morning with a throat as sore as a fucking brick. My bro textet me saying that I would have had better chances with Tina, an other girl i just talked once to, when I wouldn't have started shitting trough my mouth according to his girl. I thought that I wouldn't have a chance since "better chances" could mean anything. Last sunday i was around with my bro and he told me that I should text her: He understood his gf wrong claiming that I could have upgraded from a kissless virgin to a virgin or even a nonvirgin if i haven't puked, that she likes me and that shees looking for someone loyal with a special character what I'm actually am according to the ones knowing me best.I wouldn't say that I've fucked it up entirely, but neither do I understand how such a golden looking, sweet girl could be interested in a smoking, skinny lowkey spastic with no selfrespect- and esteem nor do I not know how I should grow some balls to text her.

(Sry 4 typos)
(2/2)
>>
>>18933139
Maybe the time apart will do you some good as well. I feel cautiously optimistic for you two.
>>
It feels like I'm gonna die so full of regrets.
>>
>>18933168
thanks, anon. i'm doing my best to stay positive.
>>
I'm going to rip every one of these wires out and kick his teeth in.
>>
>>18929125
you're going to be hurt anyway
>>
>>18933012
Yes yes I'm crazy delusional and my obsessive personality is scary.
I get it my bad, just let me ramble like I matter
>>
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I've been in love with my best friend since February 2015. I told her I liked her in September of that year, and she rejected me. She has a girlfriend because she's bi, but the thing is, I don't want these feelings for her. She has done nothing but be an amazing friend and I feel like a shitty friend for being greedy and wanting more. I keep trying to move on, but it never works out with any girl. What do I do? I need a way to cope with these feelings.
>>
>>18929464
>tfw from a CNN article in 2016 44% of women in Japan are virgins
>>
I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
>>
>>18933044
Go after her
>>
>>18929619
>if medically diagnosed
take your medicine

>if not
just don't be depressed
>>
>>18933228
Listen to iron maiden maybe
>>
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>>18933221
You can't: all friendship between heterosexual males and females will lead to thoughts about sex, love, reproduction according to a study.
>>
>send message
>*seen*
why does that hurt so much?
-------
am i supposed to show interest in what the other person is doing or do i have to talk about my life also? life is kinda boring but i try to used that to spark conversation - is that how it is done?
>>
>>18929884
take the guy that's most attractive and talk to him
if you don't like him move to the next guy

continue until you ghosted them all and wait until tomorrow for the next 100 guys
>>
>>18933231
That would just ruin the friendship.
>>
>>18932646
I also feel this way about someone. I never thought I'd find someone like him.
>>
>>18929910
>tfw civil war will spark over $90
>>
>>18933141
They are two contradicting words. Further and towards. Getting closer towards something, getting further just sounds weird even if it might technically be right (even though it still sounds wrong.)

I'm autistic. Apparently, things that bother me don't bother other people at-fucking-all.
>>
>>18933241
so basically, females friendships is asking for an emotional suicide.
explains a fucking lot.
>>
>>18929931
you don't believe you deserve those people or happiness so you actively go away from them

remember it's easier to be miserable than to be happy.
>>
>>18933241
Please no. I can't keep having these thoughts and feelings
>>
>>18929945
fuck it #YOLO

if the people roll their eyes at it they were probably bitches anyways
>>
>>18933167
this is fucking incomprehensible. Is english your native language?
>>
>>18933257
Ah, yeah I noticed when you pointed it out. You get the gist though.
>>
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>>18932646
>this post
>mfw I know that feel
It's a great feeling to find someone awkward that makes you feel normal because they too are spurg.
It's best when they feel it back.
>>
>cute girl at my work
>thinking of breaking my rule of not dating people where I work
>but she's also 32 and I'm 21
What do?
>>
>>18933262
Yes: cavemen used to either be among other males or in their families. Women too. There's no such thing as a friendship between two genders. Maybe only in the early childhood cuz no sex drive etc.

Well. At least congrats to the post-op who had the balls to talk to her. I wanna kys myself.

>>18933159
>>18933167
>>
I need to stop being a fat fuck.
>>
You're so fucking cute, Christ. Every other girl is boring as shit compared to you. I wish I could see you and talk to you more. I will ask you out and we're gonna have a fucking great time together.
>>
To the people who want to kill themselves

if you do it is because you hate your friends, family, and loved ones
even if you don't it's exactly what they're going to think
>>
>>18933283
>At least congrats to the post-op who had the balls to talk to her. I wanna kys myself.
If you're really close, it won't end badly. I promise.
>>
>>18933284
I'm not fat but overweight, but I feel this.
>>
>>18930915
you aren't going to fight for your freedom so you don't get freedom

that's how America works these days
>>
You deeply enjoy how my brain's been entangled by razor wire, how it's melting at the seams and struggling to pump some gumption the face of this insidious onslaught.
How the world's carnivorously empty now that you've left me to bend and break by the vicious whims of the state and all its fascistic mechanisms.
How I'm constantly sliding to the right while you soar using my carcass as a stepping stone.
I'm still indecisive as to whether or not I should improve to rip you back into my corner or simply knock you off your fucking pedestal.
And the worst part is that you know I can't let go because it only causes your slimy fucking hook to dig deeper.
>>
>>18931026
Do people on 4chan do this
just go in and randomly insult people

you faggot
>>
>>18931117
>my small penis will make me a laughing stock
>are you insecure?

I mean it's like going to /lgbt/ and asking "are you gay?"
>>
You're like... sex without the cum.

A kame hame without the HA.
>>
>>18933311
so many 3s

but usually I just insult the people that insulted me first, cus fuck em.
>>
>>18933161
You wonder why they appear if they aren't going to say anything to you, and how did they track you down when nobody knows you. You're paranoid as it is so you just say fuck it, one day they might actually give you their number.
>>
>>18933091
that bitch knew what she did
>>
>>18933069
what are you daydreaming about?
>>
Am I hearing things? Shit.
>>
>look up what abusive relationships are like
>realize that it matches my time on 4chan

at least make it a cute girl
>>
I think I have a problem cuz I can't get off to any pics of girls that are into me. My first ex I like thought was hot but I could never get hard from just her nudes that she would send me. I was talking to another girl and I couldn't jack off to her either. And now I have one of the hottest girls I've ever seen sliding into my dms but I still can't get off to her nudes, I've jacked off to pictures of her before I knew she was into me and I could before. Idk does anyone else know what I mean.
>>
>>18933415
You stay with me honey. Forever.
>>
>>18933408
A world where people care about me
>>
>>18933415
i just did this and i now understand why my wife wants time apart. fuck me, i'm a royal piece of shit.
>>
Why did they build me to have the ability to feel pain and sadness.

Specifically, why did they fucking build me to ONLY feel pain and sadness.

What the fuck is wrong with you people.
>>
>>18933478
Are you a robot?
>>
So, which one of you is dying too? We can get together and just have the most depressing relationship in the world.

>>18933481
in so many ways. In the "I'm a dick girl" and "I'm a synthetic human being." kind of way.
>>
All my life I've lack self-confidence. I can hardly believe in myself or that I can accomplish certain things without failing, and if I do succeed I just play it off as just dumb luck. It feels like I'm stuck in this mindset. That I'll never seem to get over it and just rot away doing nothing and being nothing for the rest of my life.
Fuck
>>
I'd like to stop being so neurotic all the time. I wish that I could just go with the flow without getting angry at pointless shit or my own thoughts
>>
Hello handsome,
I missed you today. I hope you had a wonderful day at work. I wish you would come home to me and I would help you realase some tension.
I loved cooking dinner for you every day! I had so much fun.
(I hope you missed me.
I wish you would call me beautiful, again.)

Sigh
>>
>>18933514
try affirmations
>>
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Just so everyone knows I'm about to watch Benny and Joon so get some popcorn and we can all watch it together.
>>
I'm well aware of how horrific the world is.
I've experienced conscious nightmares so visceral and penetrating that they would've driven me to suicide had the thought not forced me to gaze into the very maw of Hell.
My family, once kind and loving from the perspective of naive child, have turned into horrid monsters who's sole intention is to torment my soul with superficial, deceitful offerings of relief.
I've whimpered in a corner listening to demonic voices hissing how I'm damned due to disgusting actions inflicted on me during my youth, ones that shatter the very foundation of someone's capacity to become a man.
I've sat in a mangy, green prison cell watching the blood seep through the air and floor while my livelihood twisted through memories and rancid thought into a tortuous coffin.
I've been psychologically raped in every orifice by creatures inhabiting imperceptible dimensions, and dragged to the pulsating core of Satan's playground.
Yet these experiences have done nothing to sharpen my spirit, only scarred it to a point where it's barely recognizable as human.
>>
>>18933558
>I've experienced conscious nightmares so visceral and penetrating
You have no fucking idea what a visceral and penetrating nightmare is son.
>>
>>18933563
I'm positive the only thing left I have to see is someone actually get raped, being tossed in a hole to die in a pool of my own excrement, or flat out war.
Even those sound light compared to half the shit, because at least they're physical. They can be overcome by physical means.
>>
Look boys, you're attracted to 12-14 year old girls becuase its just a fact that females mature sooner than males. 10 years sooner to be precise.

But look at it this way. They're starting to get the same aspects that you love in full grown women. The ass, the tits, the hip/waist ratio. But its like a fully finished car compared to the frame of a car with only the engine and steering wheel. Sure, you can take a ride on it, but the ride will be shit without the suspension, and you'll get in big fucking trouble if the cops catch you.

Just let them fuck themselves silly through high school. By that time, they'll know how to please you sexually. Just wait. Stop trying to drive a half-built car that won't give you an ounce of satisfaction that the fully built model can give.

As a 40 year old, I was once attracted to girls that age when I was younger. I can still see how they're sexually attractive, but I control that shit because they're just little kids compared to me now.

Get your jollies when you're the same age or don't play at all.
>>
I'm scared an lonely. I've never said it in my life before but I thought my ex was the one. I gotta go to a new town now, gonna try to land a decent job and save some money but I don't know anything about my future. I do have a long term plan but fuck me I need some short term change. I feel weirdly alive, but I hate every single moment of it.
I'm scared.
>>
>got super drunk this night just to escape the responsibilities of college
Well, I'm such a fucking failure anyways so it doesn't matter
I'm retarded anyways
I probably fried millions of brain cells through my bingedrinking alone
I'm worthless, why do I even live lol
>>
>>18933615
It's okay, you were probably relieving stress. Don't beat yourself up over it.
>>
>>18933615
>>18933632

Brain cells regrow. Sometimes I imagine binging 24/7 for a week to kill off all the bad in me and then rebuilding my personality and attitudes as the cells get replaced.
>>
>>18933638
>brain cells regrow
t. anon with actively dying brain cells
>>
>>18933646
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/neurogenesis-how-to-grow-new-brain-cells_us_56253c16e4b0bce347019a2c
>>
Everything's going perfectly in my life at the moment but I still feel empty. I know a lot of people feel the same and sincerely I don't know how they deal with it. I want to cry, just once, let it out, but I can't. Tomorrow I'll just wake up hungover like always.
>>
I'm not a socialist or a communist, but I'm strongly questioning both outlooks and considering their rights vs their wrongs. Can someone find a flaw with this argument so I have another point of view in tow?:

Anything that has any kind of value is made, mined, grown, produced, and processed by working people. So why shouldn’t working people collectively own that wealth? Why shouldn’t working people own and control their own resources? Capitalism meant that rich businessmen owned the wealth, while socialism meant that the people who made the wealth owned it.
>>
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>>18933298
I'm trying bruh.
Need to cut out the sugar jew out of my life. Avoid overeating.
I been trying to do these exercises at home since all I go is play vidya. Adding some running every other day.

I'm not trying to Chad up, I'm too manlet for it. I just don't want to die too soon.
I wish I was 10 years younger, but I wasted those years. Oh well, we can start now.

Just add 30 minutes, 5 times a week. That's all I'm starting with.
>>
https://youtu.be/5pWn_PCEWhE
>>
im never going to be free

I want to die
>>
>>18928263
B,
I should know the good looks are an indicator of shallowness. You're just like K. You basically admitted that you only date people who are below you so you can laugh at them, and then get offended when the slightest bit comes back around on you. You want to reap all the rewards of life, money, and popularity, which is fine, but you do it at the expense of others and claim innocence. I want to be friends and on good terms, but just seeing the way you act sometimes drives me up the wall.

A,
I should have asked you out when you gave me that silly nickname. I wish you still called me that, but I understand that it's a bit too personal now. I'm glad that we're still as close as we are, and that our conversations are still so deep, yet so effortless. I know that we don't agree on everything, but I also know that we're both okay with that, and are okay with disagreeing. I hope that our friendship deepens in the future; you're one person I would definitely miss. If things don't work out with you and S... well, no point thinking about that. You two are adorable together.

N,
You've been taking a lot better care of yourself lately and it shows. You're looking better, conversing better. You're all around happier and more energized. I'm not entirely sure what the bounds of our relationship are. We're close - very close. I think you know that I'm not comfortable with just anyone getting that close, but I'm not sure if the same is said for you or if that's a byproduct of you getting better. There are times where it feels very intimate. Intentions that are more than just friendly. I haven't heard anything about the last person you were seeing - you kept it quiet. Was that for privacy, or because you weren't sure about them?
>>
So when I check up a girl that had just had a panic attack. I say after awhile I ask if they're feeling better and if they say "No" or "I'm not" what do I say to that? What should I say?
>>
>>18933954
Say "That's okay, take your time." and continue to be there for them. Get them to breathe, and if necessary, away from the current environment to somewhere less stressful. Just talk, even if they're not immediately responding. Smooth, level tone with innocuous detail.

What they need most is a rock to cling to, be it physically or emotionally. You don't have to be there for them 24/7. Everyone has their own lives to take care of. However, if you can get them through the attack itself, to a point where they can move and take care of themselves again, that's a success.

Whatever caused the panic attack is likely still bothering them, and they're not going to feel good at all until that source of anxiety is resolved.
>>
>>18932223
You know I have feelings for you.
Just please make our day worthwhile. All that is fun for me honestly. I don't want to go out to some mediocre restaurant just to speak to you.

If I had a chance, I would get a good tv with hulu installed, get some beers and snacks, then cuddle and watch dramas and comedies all day.

I dunno, my fun sounds boring, but it would be comfy.
>>
How do I stop fucking up? I try so hard but every day seems to be another mistake.
>>
>>18932223
I miss her so goddamn much. And it’s only made worse because I know she misses me too.

I know that feel anon.
>>
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>>18928263
[1/2]
Well I could reach out to people - people that knew. It wouldn't even be hard. Just go on facebook (as most of the desirables live away) and make a status, maybe even bother to return some messages. But no, I don't. I log on, a look at the newsfeed of reposts and shares, look at all the opportunities I perceive to make a witty remark or the such, look at my messages, my notifications, and think of pictures I could upload and what status I could write.
But going through all that, I still think the same thing. I don't care. I don't care about any of these people. I don't care to talk to them, and I don't care what they're doing. I don't even give enough of a fuck to make a status or click that like button. The only difference from what it was before is that I just don't even care enough to make a status or upload - I never really cared what the people thought and just acted absurd in replying because that's just fun.
>>
>>18934226
[2/2]
But still, I keep it. Why? Because that seems like one of the few ways you can actually interact with people, even when they're not far away. OH! That's why I even have it in the first place - because a lot people are so incompetent that they don't think you exist in the real world if they can't reach you on the internet when they could of just walked up a flight of stairs to see if I was home (true story). I got it to stop their bitching. I realize now that's why I keep it, it's in my mind everytime i'm on the site, but I never recall it after. I keep it merely because I don't want to go through that bitching again - even though it likely wouldn't happen. I admit too, of course, that I'm still unsure what to do. Do I go back? If I do I can do those things I find fun, and I rather not lose that potential - but it comes with all those things I just don't care about now, nor really did, I guess.
Well, whatever, let the 8 month isolation continue for now. It's not like any one has noticed I'm gone yet, lol. They don't see me, they forget me easily - but I bet some also don't care, too - but I bet most of those people already defriended me long ago.
>>
We're beyond help.
>>
>>18933282
do it. I'm dating a girl ten years older than me and I'm 19. it's not strange if a mutual maturity is present in the relationship.
>>
I'm so disgusted by myself I need to get real and find a real life woman soon. What am I doing with my life. She's not interested, stop thinking it would ever work when she would barf at your subhuman touch.

I want to be free from my own crazy mind please, I've been through so much pain in life I just want peace. I'm not good, I'm not the good guy.

I'm the ugly villain hiding in the shadows, she isn't flattered by my obsession just scared and disgusted.

Please help me fix this, I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be that monster. I don't want to hurt or bother people like that.
What do I need to work on? What do I need to fix? I want to be a good person and not this.
>>
Oh, Lord, save me,
My drug is my baby
>>
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>>18933282
>>18934384
Yep go for it.

If you guys are willing to work together, you can happily make it work. Just learn more about her, see where her life is, goals, and what not.

>tfw 28 and my gf is 18
>>
i work at a hotel at a ski resort for preface

>low occupancy
>guy checks in
>wants upgrade
>inform him of fees
>has a fit over me not giving him a free upgrade
>decides to stay in his room and is upset over me not giving him what he wants
>says our management will be hearing about this

he was with his wife and she looked so embarrased, like "here he goes again". Then he gives her a look like "it will all be fine, i just gotta calm down."

i dont really buy the whole millenials are all entitled because i think everyones entitled nowadays.

Low occupancy means we are losing money and im not going to give out free shit when a business is losing money. Thats fucking retarded. Is common sense not really being instilled in people anymore?

I want to see some change in this country but man, sure wouldnt mind NK putting a couple nukes on the east and western seaboards.
>>
>>18933282
Im a 22 year old man dating a 26 year old woman. She’s the love of my life and actually has her shit together unlike most girls my age.

Go for it son. Try it out.
>>
I miss all that we could have been, had they not cut things short for us.

Do you remember how we would sit in my flat up in Burlington, watching movies and laughing while the world around us froze? There was one night it February, a favorite of mine that reached -40 degrees. It didn't matter, because you were there beside me. Actually, I think the cold only made me love you more.

I miss the heaviness of your body pressed against my own, the rhythmic rise and fall of your lungs with mine; that slow and intimate dance they did. I miss the push and pull of our breathing as you slept, moving me to peacefulness like sea waves. I miss the weight of another person's life bearing down into my own, how with each subtle shift and stir you unconsciously told me that you were there to stay. I miss those small unspoken "I love you"s found in subtle motions.

Before I knew it, I had to leave, the heaviness of you, that realness anchoring my peace, evaporating into text messages and Facebook likes. It was not my fault that I got sick and had to leave, that I left you up in Vermont, out in the cold by yourself. Now that I'm somewhat healed, back from death, from what those men did to me, I no longer allow myself to be touched. I hate what they did, how through violations so fundamental, they made my soul so ugly. How I hate that I hate to be close, how it's not my fault that something so essential now causes me such pain.

There is nobody in the world I'd want so near to me, nobody except for you. For some reason, even after what happened, it was always okay with you. If all I had was the fire that you are to warm myself by, I think I could be that person again. I think it would be okay if the rest of the world were as frigid as it was that night in Vermont, so long as you were there beside me.
>>
Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much!
And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be.
>>
>>18934735
Listen, do you really think in a world with 7.5 billion people that not one single genuine down-to-earth woman would exist with the exact qualities you listed? Sure, there are women who put on a facade to attract guys; that's not gender exclusive and it's more of a widespread problem than you think. There are less truly confident and mentally stable people than there are people who are deeply ashamed of themselves and hide behind a false self.

"Cool Girls" are out there, you just sound like a bitter lonely fatty.
>>
>>18934735
t. not a Cool Girl
>>
>>18934800
>>18934803
t. men who don't read and get triggered that their fantasies aren't real
That was a Gone Girl quote, you tardburgers.
>>
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>>18934829
>2017
>reading




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