[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice



Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.



File: male-female2.png (54 KB, 464x300)
54 KB
54 KB PNG
GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>>
Question for both genders.

Why the FUCK doesn't the reply window work on /adv/?
>>
>>18932273
It does. Have you checked your settings?
>>
>>18932273
It does work for me. I had issues with it on my own computer earlier, but not on the one I'm using now. Try another browser perhaps?
>>
>>18932273
It works if you have adblocker off.
With the ad blocker on, it gives connection error.
>>
File: 3676763564543.png (3 KB, 312x72)
3 KB
3 KB PNG
>>18932279
what did it mean by this?
>>
>>18932296
If you're getting a connection error, you need to turn off your adblock. I thought everyone knew this by now.
>>
>>18932290
testing
>>
Reposting

I was with a few friends and I kind of accidentally brought up the subject of an ex I have. I almost never talk about myself, so even my really good friend I've known for ages didn't know about this and he started asking questions about my two exes neither of which he knew about. Our mutual female friend was there and seemed to be clearly trying to stop the conversation, and eventually just tuned out completely until we stopped talking about it. I didn't say anything weird or bad, in fact I hardly said anything at all just because I'm kind of private, so I'm not really sure why she'd be uncomfortable with the convo. At one point she said it was because she was afraid we were gonna ask about her past relationships and she didn't want to talk about them, maybe that was it? She's got no problem normally joking about like, sexual stuff or guys or whatever. I'm just curious why she'd be uncomfortable with ME talking about MY exes which didn't really have anything to do with her? What would be a reason for this? I know you aren't mind readers but I can't think of anything
>>
>>18932297
Different Anon here
I have no Adblock on but still get it

The solution I’ve been using is going to a different page or website then going back to the thread and pasting in what I wanted to say, then it usually works, sometimes takes a few tries.
Got the error while trying to post this.
>>
>>18932308
First thing I thought of was: obviously you hadn't told your friend about it already, he came with a bunch of questions, she assumed you had your reasons for not talking about it sooner and felt that he was being insensitive by jumping on the topic.

It could also be a sign of deeper interest but that's really hard to tell. If she was into you then wanting to hear all about your exes is as well possible as finding it painful to hear about. Besides there would likely be more pointers than just this one weird response.
>>
>>18932296
>>18932312
Legacy captcha gives me an error. I just use the windows on top and that works because it's giving me the picture bullshit that barely works half the time.
Literally any other board works just fine so yeah
>>
>>18932347
Weird
>>
>>18932316
First one makes sense I think. The only thing I could think of was interest in me, but she's already turned me down when I asked her out, so obviously that wasn't it
>>
Question to the grills reading this

Opinion on beards?

Opinion on thin, not very tall but not really short either guys?

Lastly, you’re in public doing fuck-knows-what, a guy wants to approach and get to know you/ wants to say something. What would you wanna hear for a good first impression?
>>
File: 1434309717447.png (31 KB, 184x173)
31 KB
31 KB PNG
Why do girls say shit like "we're not having sex" If you end up having sex? Its happened to me twice this year.and both times ive been told it, I end up fucking her. Once last week i was with a girl I already fucked. she said" I dont think we should have sex anymore till we date" and I said "nah ill pass" then played cold and tried to go to sleep. We fucked like 5 min later

Why do girls do this? Is it like a test or are they just trying not to look like sluts? can some girl fill me in on this?
>>
>>18932370
>Opinion on beards?
YES YES YES. If well-kept and full.

>Opinion on thin, not very tall but not really short either guys?
They're okay?

>Lastly, you’re in public doing fuck-knows-what, a guy wants to approach and get to know you/ wants to say something. What would you wanna hear for a good first impression?
A comment on the situation we're in, or asking me info about something.
>>
>>18932374
If it's at the beginning of the date, they are checking to see if you get annoyed at hearing that (red flag) and set you up for a potential rejection. In case they don't want to do anything and the guy gets pissy, they can remind him that they were crystal clear about their intentions earlier. It's better to change your mind from not wanting sex to wanting it, than it is to give him high hopes you then have to crush.

If it's right before sex (like what you said in bed) chances are she wants to have sex on some level (horny), doesn't want it on another level (thinks you won't take her seriously anymore as a prospective girlfriend), and vocalizing it heightens the chance that you stop trying and they can get out of it even if they don't have it in them to say no very fiercely.

Also thirdly I am pretty convinced that for some girls the whole shaky "we shouldn't be doing this" is just a turn on from having seen it in movies and what not. Hovering on the threshold and relishing that moment when it isn't yet happening.
>>
>>18932389
last two seem to make sense to me. both times its happend to me I was either already cuddling or making out with the girl.
>>
Just asking again, as I always catch the tail end of the threads, and usually dont get much input

Why would a girl ask if I smoked weed?

Basically we were talking a lot at work, like 45min to 50 min continuous at that point, and she randomly asked in a whisper if I smoked.


She has also smiled widely at me, and gets wide eyed at some things I say.

Also told me in several occasions that she wants to pick my brain on something.

And FWIW, I drove her home and lent her a book yesterday after work
>>
>>18932424
probably likes you and smokes as a hobby and is looking to see if you have that as a connection

there are some girls that will be sluts for free weed though maybe you look like the type to smoke.
>>
File: 473bfff86.jpg (42 KB, 536x466)
42 KB
42 KB JPG
>go out with a girl
>finally trick her into bed
>she doesn't look like my 2D girls naked
>have to make my excuses and leave
How do I end this? Just have to accept mortal humans look pig disgusting?
>>
>>18932435
Probably seems to like me.

Most likely that she wants to smoke, or atleast to see if Im alright with her smoking.

But yea, definitely doesnt seem like the stoner slut type. She's got the money to buy her own weed anyway
>>
>>18932455
have you smoked before? Id offer to smoke with her sometime.
>>
>>18932403
None of them are ruled out but I think you shouldn't underestimate the first one either, this is a common one. Girls can also overthink whether or not they are giving off the wrong signals, and worrying about whether or not the guy will accuse them of being a cocktease and blueballing them (when they don't know for sure yet if they want to have sex later) can take away from relaxing and having fun in the moment. Spilling that nothing serious is going to happen beforehand is a good disclaimer to take some of that pressure away and just see where things naturally progress to. And, again, no man is going to feel hurt or wronged that you changed your mind to have sex, only the other way around.
>>
>>18932443
What exactly was so bad about her?
>>
>>18932464
No, I never did actually.

I told her I don't smoke, but I'm indifferent to it. So, that can be seen as potentially being open to it, and atleast showing that I dont mind if she does
>>
Girls how do you feel about being teased and denied until you've been enough of a good girl for me to let you cum?
>>
>>18932473
ask if she wants to show you how to smoke, she seems interested in it man.
>>
>>18932479
A lot of fun, but I still prefer it the other way around.
>>
>>18932479
No. If I'm teased too much, I often end up not orgasming at all. I just need steady stimulation.
>>
>>18932481
Next time I drive her home I'll ask. I'll definitely offer if its raining or something. Or I'll just ask about the picking of my brain instead.

But yea, I am pretty sure she has just out right stared at me for and extended period of time. (I was standing behind her, and off to the side. And She basically turned her head completely to look at where I was standing, and held it for a while)
>>
>>18932370
>Opinion on beards?
Dislike if a man is below 35
>Opinion on thin, not very tall but not really short either guys?
I like them the most, between 5'7" and 5'10"
>Lastly, you’re in public doing fuck-knows-what, a guy wants to approach and get to know you/ wants to say something. What would you wanna hear for a good first impression?
Why did he approached me
>>
>>18932479
I love this
>>
>>18932523
i love you
>>
Have you ever taken the morning-after pill?
Was it effective?
>>
>>18932511
Approached you b/c thinks you’re attractive, wants to get to know you, possible relationship kinda thing
>>
>>18932263
Q'S FOR GIRLS:
theres this girl i like and i know she likes me, im going to a party and i know shell be there. How do i build up sexual tension/ tease her so we can have some fun that night? i want her to want me
>>
I like girls taller than me. Is there hope? Can my handsome face and broad shoulders redeem me at all?
>>
>>18932545
TOUCH. HER.
>>
>>18932534
thank you uwu
You sound like you are into ddlg, are you? I mean, judging from you calling a girl "good girl"
>>
>>18932544
Say that she seems like an interesting person and ask if she minds talking a little
>>
>>18932577
There is but small
>>
>>18932579
ye i am mainly into ddlg
but anything that plays with power dynamics is interesting and fun to me
>>
>>18932577
Yes, I am 5'9" and have a strong preference for guys my own height or shorter
>>
>>18932594
lol u fucking manlet
>>
>>18932579
Not him, but I seem to constantly find myself in between two fetishes. I kind of like that play of calling girls "good girl" and being dominant, but I generally find ddlg a little creepy, and full out BDSM to be way too hardcore. Guess everyone's just got some variable number of kinks that combine in interesting ways
>>
for girls, but anyone can answer: was I being used?

I met a girl two months ago, we hit it off really well. Things got physical pretty quickly, but I wasn't looking for a casual relationship. Anyway, I'd ask her if she wants to go do things, hang out, whatever...She usually wouldn't respond/leave me on "read". I stopped initiating conversations with her and now she'll only talk to me if it's to hook up.

I ghosted her almost a week ago, but she'll still message me every other day or so saying something along the lines of "come over?"
>>
>>18932587
You cheeky cunt
>>
>>18932596
>Woman
>Manlet
>>
>>18932593
Do you need a big age gap or a very young woman to enjoy ddlg? If you are younger, do you still think you'll enjoy it when you're older with women who are either closer to your own age or older than the women you date now?

I'm 30/f and recently single and I've always been really into ddlg but I wonder if there is still hope for me as I am 30 and especially when I get older! (But I'm open to age gaps if that helps like id date a 50 year old man now or a 60 year old man when I'm 40)
>>
>>18932596
I don't get it? I'm 26 and female. We exist. The guy I was most attracted to ever was 5'9"
>>
>>18932610
sort of
well it works best obviously the younger / smaller the girl is
but its roleplay after all so if the two of you can get into it mentally then it doesnt matter
>>
>>18932593
Same desu
>>
>>18932599
Yeah, kinks are generally fun and interesting
>>
File: 980x.jpg (54 KB, 600x740)
54 KB
54 KB JPG
>>18932606
>>
>>18932594
>>18932620
Is there a means of raising the odds of meeting women like you?
>>
>>18932610
I personally can do ddlg with a person just 2 years older, as a female I will always be weaker either way
>>
i cant stop myself
where did i go wrong
why you
why now
>>
>>18932653
Wrong thread.
>>
So I came with this issue a few days ago. here's an update.

>date girl, very prone to overthinking and panicking about things
>if it's not about school, it's health, or moody behavior for no or small reasons

>last week she took a blood test, found a slight irregularity and started panicking depsite the doc saying not to
>she decided to stop the pill, pushing us a few months back when she'd panick every month because she's two hours late, and having sex is done while worrying.
>I got fed up after months of handling panicks like this (these past few months there was something every week), and made one comment about how I wasn't much into sex due to the stress of this new situation
>she got mad at me for saying it when she already feels so bad, and stopped talking to me for two days, holding to herself the final medical verdict : she's fine
>we ended up setting things right, she accused me of making no effort to support her and saying mean things, I apologized for the passive agressive thing I said, and explained that for one comment made once, there's weeks of build up of things I don't say, precisely to not burden her. She seemed to understand.

Fast forward to now. She hasn't talked to me much, responded coldly to most of my messages, and when i asked her if she'd be coming to see me this week-end as planned, she said "I don't know", then that she wont because she's in " a bad mood" but doesn't know why.
This also happens sometimes. She goes cold and mean and doesn't have a reason.

What would you do? I'm getting pretty sick of false alarms, panicks and cold shoulders like this.
>>
>>18932684
Also as far as support goes, I try to understand what she goes through, even spend evenings on skype to keep her from overthinking.

I ask questions, insist to support and help, and keep to myself any comment that wouldn't help, even when I think she's freaking out over nothing.
>>
>>18932443
>Just have to accept mortal humans look pig disgusting?
>Muh 2D
You sure you aren't a pedophile?
Heteros or even gay people don't think adults look disgusting, even r9k doesn't. That's a pedo thing t b h
>>
>>18932479
It’s all good as long as I’m getting paid attention to.
Like active teasing and orgasm denial is fun- but not if it’s in the form of being ignored.

If you’re actively spending time with me and catching up/playing/coddling me it’s fun.
If you’re holding affection hostage waiting for me to beg- feelings are hurt, I start thinking your mean, I feel bad about myself- I start crying leaving.

As long as the one your teasing is actively the center of attention and the game is somewhat known- it’s all good and fun!
>>
Do girls care how guys dress?
>>
Girls
My gf waved and blew me a kiss, I waved back but it felt awkward, but it would feel weird to blow a kiss back. Is there like an expected etiquette for that or something?
>>
>>18932737
I care but as long as it's not a streetwear or some other black shit I'm okay with it
>>
>>18932424
Any more ideas?
>>
>>18932600
Yeah, she's trying to make you into her booty call, no more than that. Whether that's using you or not depends on what you want out of it and how clear she was about not looking for a relationship.
>>
>>18932744
Not at all. You can just beam at her, wave back, put a hand on your heart, throw back a kiss or just do the kiss motion with your mouth, form a heart with your fingers, send her a text directly afterwards that you love her, give a playful response like clutching your chest dramatically or acting like you're fainting from her affection etc...

It's just what you're comfortable with, as long as it gets across that you like her too.
>>
>>18932744
Blow a kiss back
>>
>>18932744
next time pretend catching it
>>
>>18932737
Not in the sense that most women find it important that a guy has his own style (note how there's no male equivalent to "basic bitch") or is very classy and stylish. But it matters in the sense that wearing well fitting, clean clothes matters a lot for the impression you make. Particularly the young guy uniform of the baggy jeans (or too tight skinny jeans) and oversized t-shirt with something funny of it will make it much harder to be taken seriously as a romantic partner. Unless this is your angle (because you're a stoner aiming for hipster girls who like that vibe or any other variation), dress "grown up".
>>
>>18932744
My bf will pretend to catch it and blow one back, or he'll catch it and bring it to his crotch while giving me a hilarious face. Fuckin love that guy
>>
>>18932737
As a guy, I've found that switching just to yknow, clothes that actually fit me and not wearing graphic tees anymore has been received well
>>
Is Matt Damon considered hot? I get told I look like him a lot.
>>
>>18932826
For the last time Matt, yes. Girls think you're hot. I know you're a little insecure because Leo DiCaprio is fucking new girls every night, but you have what it takes, man.
>>
Today in class I went to speak to the professor standing next this girl who know I check her out all of the time's desk. While we were speaking, I tried to get a quick glance out of the corner of my peripheral vision. She "dropped" her pencil, practically threw it 3 feet. Was I supposed to pick it up?
There was another incident when she stayed just long enough after to leave and trotted out the door just barely cutting me off. Does that mean anything?
>>
>>18932855
t. oblivious
>>
File: me on the right.jpg (35 KB, 600x372)
35 KB
35 KB JPG
>>18932858
So I should make up an excuse to bother her tomorrow?
>>
>>18932880
2bh senpai just do it
who fuckin cares
why not?
nah mean?
>>
>>18932684
Bumping this
>>
>>18932889
Ok I will
>nah mean?
Tungsten is a very dense material
>>
>>18932909
word 2 tha big bird
>>
Question for both genders I guess, what should I talk about on the first date? Girl here, never been on one before and I'm pretty nervous it will be awkward.
>>
Would you date a guy who's a recovering neet? Who's 20-25 years old and just starting to get his life on track etc?
>>
>>18932916
Guy here. Anything really. Most girls in my experience play it wayyyy too safe and try to come off cutesy and girly but just end up coming off dull. Don't be afraid to talk about anything that comes to mind. Just be wary about venturing into politics and religion. Good luck and don't fuck him on the first date.
>>
>>18932935
most people in their20s are Lost as fuck, me included

how old are you?
>>
>>18932955
22
>>
>>18932957
so young lol, dat mid 20s existential crisis a bitch
>>
>>18932959
tell me about it /:
>>
"I just love him more than I ever loved you."

Still stings a bit, though she'll turn on him again soon, saying the most awful shit about, until she either dumps him completely for another dick that she'll make the same claim towards.
Unfortunately the only person I actually love, it's annoying as shit.
That said, women, how often would you give someone who you loved, then grew to fucking despise, a second chance?
What would be some pointers to help toss my hat back in the ring?
I know it sounds obsessive, but I kinda like the challenge I guess.
>>
>>18932826
Yes, very

Is Lena heady considered hot? I've been told I look like her (cersei from got)
>>
>>18932966
Never. I burn bridges.
>>
>>18932993
Why?
Not that it deters me in the slightest.
>>
>>18932990
>Yes, very
Nice!
>Lena Heady
I think she is ok, desu you're probably hotter than her
>>
File: 1490310693574.jpg (840 KB, 3096x1857)
840 KB
840 KB JPG
Guys...how can I make things better? :/

>someone tried to rape me and I had a break down, etc.
>ended up saying something unusually cruel to my friend (something about how it's boring how he talks about his gf) during my pain
>didn't really mean it and clarified it later but for some reason days later he kept on making a big deal about it
>I clarified that I was just at the lowest point of my life and that's why I was so nasty...but I ended up admitting that it was probably because I'm a bad person, not because I was in middle of a breakdown
>I apologize a lot, etc., he finally says he just wants to put it behind us

>he now only responds once per day, clarifying that he's not ignoring me
>says that he's there for me, etc., but he isn't

>say: "Man...what's up? You've been so distant. Wish I knew what I could do"
>days later he says "I don't like what's happening between us it's weird and uncomfortable"
>it doesn't seem matter that I was just at a really low point in my life
>can't have a good conversation with him because he just keeps on being online once per day to drop a few half-hearted comments

>get anxious and stressed out because I love talking to him, I constantly feel like I did something wrong
>before the incident we were constantly talking, times were good. We talked of many things, deep, shallow...things we've never shared with other people

I keep thinking I did something wrong and I'm constantly anxious. We've been friends for so long...I don't want to lose him.
>>
>>18932737
Yes but it's not a deal breaker if I don't like your style, just a plus if I do. if im physically attracted to you, I should find you attractive in any or no clothes. Also different girls have different tastes so never wear a style you're uncomfortable with just to try to impress girls.

(My 2 fav styles are classy/formal old man, and "I'm in a bowling league in the 70s" lmao idk why)
>>
>>18932947
Yeah I don't plan to fuck him on the first date. In your experience, when should the fucking occur?
>>
>>18933021
3rd date minimum. have him show you he actually wants a relationship and not just sex. unless of course you just want sex as well. depends on what you're comfortable with. But as a guy, while I won't turn down sex (obviously) on a first date, I will keep in mind that she does that type of thing and that's not the type of woman I want to marry.
>>
>>18933003
Why should I give another chance to someone who has failed me already? I couldn't ever love him again. That's how I work.
>>
>>18933035
>Why should I give another chance to someone who has failed me already?

Dunno, maybe they've improved to a better version of themselves and saw the heartbreak as a growing experience.
>I couldn't ever love him again.
Seems like you do well to convince yourself of that.
That can be worked on.
>>
>>18933021
>marriage
>>
>>18933029
Yeah I really like the guy and I'm interested in a relationship. I'm also a virgin so I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable just jumping his bones immediately. Everything's new for me right now and I'm nervous I'll just spill my spaghetti on the date.
>>
>>18932634
Hm I'm not sure but definitely try online dating and be honest about your height if you really want to find a taller/equally tall girl. (Since unlike really short girls, you'll never be able to fool them about your height in person and trying to online prevents girls like me from knowing your real height.) A lot of shorter guys seem to round up to 5'11"/6'0" but if one of them actually said 5'9" instead he'd stand out from the pack a lot more to me. I know there are girls who have the opposite opinion but maybe try making one online dating profile specifically for this purpose.

If you're going out, one possible tell is that I always wear flats rather than heels, unless I'm already dating a man I know likes me in heels, because many men my height or shorter like me better in flats, not wanting me someone who towers over them. I don't know if other girls do this but this is one way a shorter guy might be able to tell he has a better chance with me than some taller girls
>>
>>18933052
First date is always a little awkward. Personally if a girl was nervous (in a good way) with me on a first date I would be elated. Most guys I know find it really cute when girls trip over themselves, so don't be too afraid of spilling the spaghetti. Just take it slow and let everything go at your own pace. Don't let him pressure you into anything. Good luck!
>>
>>18933073
Thanks a lot! Hope it goes well.
>>
nobody's virginity dilemma is more embarrassing than mine

>be a virgin as a 28 yo f
>go on my first date with a man
>end up kissing him and giving him a be in his car
>have never done either of those things before
>don't tell him that it's my first time

i do want a serious relationship but he probably thinks i'm a slut now and if i tell him the truth he'll only think i'm sluttier and weirder. but i can't date a man seriously if i can't even be honest with him about how inexperienced i am. now i have to break up with him because i gave him a blowjob??
>>
>>18933100
just tell him
>>
>>18932799
That’s cute as hell
>>
>>18933100
If he thinks you're a slut then the case is lost and there's no point in telling him anything at all, just cut him out. If he is still interested in you then yeah tell him, maybe not right away but after establishing mutual serious interest. Honestly if you calmly explain to him what went through your head (be it "I want to get this over with already" or just not really knowing how else to handle the situation than just running with it) and he doesn't believe you then his lack of trust in your sincerity is the big issue, not that you gave him head.
>>
>>18933052
If a girl spills her spaghetti with me on a first date it only makes me like her more because it means she’s interested enough to make herself vulnerable, which is attractive as hell. Also awkward girls are cute as fuck.
>>
>huge crush on girl (20yo)
>Im 25
Why do I care so much about age? Is this creepy?
>>
>>18932263
Girls:

I met someone who I really like this past summer working out west for an expedition company, and while I was there she flirted with me like crazy until she realized that Inhad tonmive back east for uni. She told my other friend how much it sucked that Inhad to move so far away and that if I could stay, she’d want to date me. That being said, we’ve kept loosely in contact since August and this past Thursday I said screw it and worked up the courage to call her.

She said she was thrilled to hear from me, and we talked for about 30 minutes, just catching up on each other’s lives. She knows that after I’m done with school in 2 years that I’ll be there for good, and not just out in Colorado for only the summers where th two of us work. As we talked she kept bringing the conversation back to how great it was that I’ll eventually live out there for good. A couple days later out of the blue she sent me a link to something cool about the stars since she knows how much I love astronomy, so Inknow she was thinking about me.

She’s a pretty insecure person and generally very reserved and shy, doesn’t really go after guys often and even though she’s 26, is pretty inexperienced. So my question is, does this girl still have a crush on me? If I see her in the summers and keep in contact the rest of the year for two more school years before I move out there permanently, is there hope?

She’s so cute and wonderful and awesome it’s crazy.
>>
>>18933010
I think you need a serious heart-to-heart with this person if you're so adamant. Does he know how much he means to you? If he doesn't, he should.
Also, I guess he could be having a low point as well just as you did.
>>
>>18933010
Are you attracted to him?
>>
>>18933187
tldr lol
>>
>>18933223
>Moved far from home for summer job
>Girl I worked with was flirting with me
>overheard her talking about how she’d want to be with me if I weren’t moving
>She shuts down once she realizes I’m leaving
>stay in loose contact with her
>haven’t seen her since August
>talked with her last week
>she’s thrilled to hear from me and keep eluding to how cool it will be once I move back west for good
>sends me links to stuff I like out of the blue

Trying to see if I still have a chance or if she still likes me.
>>
so just started asking every girl I find attractive to go for drinks and food, and its working getting like 4-5 dates a week.

Didn't realize it was so simple, girls do you prefer the forward approach?
>>
>>18932916
>Question for both genders I guess, what should I talk about on the first date? Girl here, never been on one before and I'm pretty nervous it will be awkward.

Things to talk about on a first date:

>Things that interest you and you're passionate enough about that you find you can talk about for hours on end (don't actually do that unless they can talk about it for hours on end too).
>Family (surface level)
>Friends
>Hobbies
>Beliefs
>Dreams and aspirations
>favorites
>childhood stories

Things not to talk about
>Ex relationships
>Family/friend drama
>random 4chan/tumblr/whatever topics
>Mental health issues (unless that's a common bonding point)
>Anything so deeply that you don't allow him to get in a word edgewise

>>18933010
>Guys...how can I make things better? :/
>>18933010
>>days later he says "I don't like what's happening between us it's weird and uncomfortable"

You need to have a serious heart to heart with him. You need to sit him down and say, "Hey. We need to talk. I value you too much a friend to lose you just like this. So please. Let's talk. Don't let this be the end without us ever trying." and then just go at it.

>>18933100
>nobody's virginity dilemma is more embarrassing than mine
>be a virgin as a 28 yo f

I've dated a few 25 yo virgins before.
To be honest, I could always kind of tell, and I never minded.

I think I was even one of the girls first kiss (hard to tell, but seemed like it from her reaction)

He probably won't think you're slutty, and if he flakes on you... well... I guess that means he was kind of a shit person anyway.
>>
File: 1444790516649.jpg (26 KB, 352x370)
26 KB
26 KB JPG
Repost from the GIOYC general
Question for both genders

I've been in love with my best friend since February 2015. I told her I liked her in September of that year, and she rejected me. She has a girlfriend because she's bi, but the thing is, I don't want these feelings for her. She has done nothing but be an amazing friend and I feel like a shitty friend for being greedy and wanting more. I keep trying to move on, but it never works out with any girl. What do I do? I need a way to cope with these feelings.
>>
Has anyone (who isn't religious) ever dated somebody religious?

Girl is right in my strike zone, and we share a lot of values and outlook on life (both of us are optimistic, people lovers, idealists), but she wears a cross on her backpack, and has been on a mission trip before.
I'm not religious whatsoever, and I'm not militantly anti-religion, but I am more of a person who likes really digging into the origin of things and dwelling on the pointlessness of at all. An "optimistic nihilist" if you will.

Is pursuing her a good idea?
>>
>>18933348
>Is pursuing her a good idea?

You can't know 'til you actually date her.
"religious" isn't some mythical group of clones with the exact same ideologies, same method of worship, and the same level of passion.

Different people have different beliefs, different tolerances, and different methods of express their faith.

There are some people who will not date anyone that is not of the same political party as them.
There are some people who will not date anyone who aren't vegan like they are.
There are some people who don't date anyone that doesn't have the same eye color as them.

And of course there are tons of people that don't give a fuck and just work around it.

There are all sorts of arbitrary limitations that people have, and you can't know which one's do or do not follow until you go up and talk to them.
>>
>get involved with 60something year old as 20something year old
>find out he's married with kids
>affair ends

Which sucks because he's the only man I've ever been attracted to or in love with.

>get message from his 20something year old son on POF

He doesn't know who I am. And he looks like his dad. Do I date him or not?
>>
File: 1498115414064.jpg (70 KB, 498x480)
70 KB
70 KB JPG
>>18933323
>>18933188
Heart to heart...I know, that's what I've been wanting but

Today I finally said to him over text that I want to talk about what happened to me (the attempted rape)--which he didn't really know about other than the fact that I had a break down and it was a bad time for me. I usually support him when he's going through rough patches and he said that he's there for me...he's the only one I can talk to about such a horrible thing...but I don't even know. He hasn't responded yet. It's been hours.

I hate it but I'm beginning to get a little...angry for the first time in a very long time. He's accused me of getting bored of him before because he was being too depressed and throwing his baggage on me, etc., but he only thought so because it's what the other girls in his life have usually done...now he's basically doing the same to me. Getting bored because I had a sad three days.

>>18933193
Yeah, he's my first and only love. He's off-limits so...it's not worth thinking about.
>>
>>18933373
Fair point.
She's obviously somewhat serious about her beliefs, which makes me hesitate a bit. But like you said, can't know until I try.
>>
>>18933384

When I said heart to heart, I meant in person. (I kind of hate that this has to be made explicit in this day and age...)

This is something that's painful for you to talk about, but it's also probably doing a number on him, and he's probably trying to figure out what to say (or else is shocked and is subconsciously trying to avoid thinking about it for a bit because it's too awkward/stressful/whatever. You know those moments, the ones where you write a response 10 times over and just end up deleting it, and then making it again, and again, and just kind of put your phone down for a bit because it's too stressful and you can't word anything right).

Sucks what happened to you, but don't let it dictate what's going on in the rest of your life.

I'm not saying this to be unsympathetic (two of the women I've cared about most in my life--including my girlfriend--were victims) but quite frankly, in the end, it was just some bad shit that shouldn't have any influence who you are one way or the other. it's not something that speaks to who you are, your character, or personality anymore than getting in to a near fatal car accident does. Don't let it be something you overthink or let control your life.

Your friendship with him, that's something you need to suss out and figure out for yourself whether he's the type of person who will be there for you, but it's something that *should* take place in person if you want any real sort of result.
>>
>>18933381
God no, why would you even think it was a good idea? You're just setting yourself up for more of a ball ache later on.
What are you gonna do when you meet his parents, what if the affair comes out.

>>18933334
You can't control the way you feel about people. It just comes and goes. If it's such a problem you should try expanding your friend group, hanging out with other girls or spending less time with her

>>18933281
>girls do you prefer the forward approach?
yes

>>18933164
It's not creepy, but when people are in their 20's, a few years age gap can place you in very different places in your lives. But ask out
>>
The movies my bf likes to watch are SO fucking boring, what can I do. He likes to watch a bunch of like Tarkovsky and Terrence Malik. The movies are so long and slow how do I tell him I don't wanna watch them anymore.
>>
Did I fuck up earlier at work? I was talking with my coworker and she said "Seriously though, there are only a few people here that make me like coming into work and you're one of them" and I said "I feel the same, granted I like pretty much everyone that works here because I'm pretty easy to get along with" and she was like "Oh, I see how it is" so I reassuringly said "But you're special."

I didn't mean that to come across as in a "I like you" way, I just meant that I do enjoy her company more than others'. Am I looking too much into this? I don't want to come across as a social retard.
>>
File: 168.png (23 KB, 300x100)
23 KB
23 KB PNG
>>18933432
Thing is our friendship is long distance right now...met in person, etc. Pretty much all I have are texts and I don't even know if forcing him onto video chat will do anything to break through his apathy. And it's bad; yesterday I had a huge anxiety attack because he wouldn't talk to me more than sending a few messages in the span of one minute. I never had an anxiety attack before..I wouldn't be so fuckin clingy if it wasn't such a bad time in my life.

There's a slight chance he might be disassociating and not trying to ignore me. IDK, he did say that he gets weirdly apathetic...and I don't know if this is the first time I'm actually seeing it.
>>
>>18933471
>how do I tell him I don't wanna watch them anymore.
literally just tell him
if you want to watch films together try and find stuff you both like the sound of

>>18933475
You're looking too much into this, it's nothing
>>
>>18933479
Okay, thanks. That's what I thought at first, but when I told my friend about it he said I was being autistic.
>>
>>18933471
>The movies are so long and slow how do I tell him I don't wanna watch them anymore.

Just tell him.

I don't watch certain movies when I'm with my girlfriend, because I know she doesn't tend to like high action films, nor movies with slower, more exposition heavy plot lines.

Vice versa her with me and musicals and the like.

You're allowed to have your own tastes.

>>18933475
>Did I fuck up earlier at work?

Nope. Sounds like basic, friendly banter.
>>
How do I get over attachment issues?
They've been pretty prominent throughout my life, from crying my eyes out when young cuz a worthless fucking fish died to obsessing over every little detail about women to the point of suffocating paranoia.
I always rationalize this bipolarity the same way, in that the pain always seems to be the worth the exhilaration that comes whenever I succeed, even though the crashes cause me to destabilize any lasting opportunities for myself.
It's been a very sad life punctuated by few moments of wonder that memory torments me with, and I'd like to put a stop to it.
>>
Fems, opinions on cop staches?
>>
>>18933553
Do you really fucking have to ask that?
>>
Why even try if i'll never be good enough for the girls i want?
>>
>>18933587
>I'll never be good enough for the girls i want?
Cut that shit out and stop putting them on pedestals.
>>
>>18933471
>women in charge of movies
Just tell him. Men and women like different shit. Also consider getting some taste.

>>18933475
Sounds like top notch bantz. If she took it the wrong way that's her problem.
>>
>>18933604
Why? They're beautiful. They deserve to be put on a pedestal.
>>
What do I do at house parties? What goes on there, how do I act etc. There's an afterparty tonight and idk what to do.
>>
Guys: Is it cringy to text him and ask him if he wants to make saturday a date? We're friends and we're seeing an opera on saturday, just us. Like I don't have feelings for him but I'm interested in exploring this seeiously, so I want to ask him casually
>>
>>18933579
Yes? I mean, clearly I don't have to, life will continue on without doing such, but I'd like to get some input.
>>
>>18933662
Should be fine.

>>18933642
Drink, talk, hang out, dance.
>>
>>18933642
Afterparties are almost always meant for friends to get drunk and enjoy other friend's companies and probably smoke weed. Sometimes smash bro will be brought out, or usually other drinking games are played. It'll probably be a very chill environment. If you see a girl you like you can go talk to her and hookup. If not then people talk to their friends. It's for people to unwind in an environment where they know most people as well as meet new friends through other friends
>>
Ok what the fuck. My boyfriend, who I've been going out with for about 2 months now, has a folder full of Emma Roberts pictures. The folder has over 200 pictures of Emma. I don't know what to do, I have no idea why he has it, I haven't asked him about it yet. What the hell do I do!?
>>
>>18933700
He thinks Emma Roberts is hot, what's the issue?
>>
>>18933721
But to have 200 pics of her saved on his hard drive? Is this normal? I don't believe this is normal, that feels like obsessive behavior to me ! Or am I just clueless...
>>
>>18933700
you don't do anything. it's not threatening nor evil. If you really hate the idea, ask him to delete it. But I'd leave it as it is.
Ask him why, that's all.
>>
>>18933662
if you don't have feelings, be very careful not to hurt his. Don't just tell him not to develop his own feelings, as this can't be done this way. Explain precisely what you feel and what you want and let him decide consciously.

But texting him the way you described it seems fine, just make sure you explain yourself on that date.
>>
>>18933727
You are clueless. That's nothing compared to the boys on /h/ or /gif/. He finds her hot, and probably jerks off to her a lot, so he saves them so he can have quick and easy access to them. Did I also mention she's hot? I mean good lord is she hot. Anyway, every self respecting man has a stash you just happened to find his.
>>
>>18933727
He saves a picture for fapping which he forgets about and never uses again and continues saving more. This happens to all guys
>>
>>18933526
vipassana meditation helps with this sort of things. Read up, it's cool and safe.
>>
>>18933740
>>18933741
why can't he jerk off to me / have sex with me :(
>>
>>18933526
Just try to not feel emotion anymore
I hope this helps -_-
>>
>>18933471
"man, I don't wanna watch those movies anymore"
>>
>>18933747
I dunno, maybe you should try wearing an Emma Roberts mask if you want sex from him
>>
Is burly and log haired a good combo or does it look stupid?
>>
Yo, I'm a girl and I can tell you, there is not necessarily something wrong with that. As someone said before, he just probably finds her hot and download a full folder with pictures of her. That doesn't mean he doesn't find you hot or jerks off 'to you'. It's just, masturbation it's a natural thing to do. And it may be boring to always think about your partner, even if not doing it feels like cheating for some people (used to happen to me). But let's be honest, Emma Roberts is hot. He jerks off. Sometimes watches her pictures. Then in real life, he has sex with you. What's wrong with that?
>>
If a girl I like doesn't have a boyfriend and I made some joke saying "your boyfriend [something]" will she take it as if I don't like her?
>>
>>18933758
I prefer men who don't try anything so that there is never a chance of them looking stupid :)
>>
>>18933764
just assume the worst
>>
>>18933747
Alright listen here. He can't jerk off to you all of the time. Sometimes we need variety, that's nothing against you, but I can't jerk off to the same women for the rest of my life. I can fuck her, but I need to jerk it to some Asian chicks with big ole' titties sometimes, or snow white skinned red heads. Again, this has nothing to do with not wanting you anymore or whatever insecure shit that might be popping up in your mind, its just the way men are. Sometimes I find tomboyish girls with short hair and zero titties hot, next minute I'm into thick ass Russian milfs. The dick has its own consciousness. I can only satiate its hunger for so long.

The points is: Emma Roberts is incredibly fucking hot and its get's his dick hard.
>>
>>18933755
>>18933760
I don't know, I guess it's normal but this is my first relationship and it just feels really... sad. Like, I understand hes not cheating on me but it still feels like a stab through the heart. I have really low self esteem too so the thought of him masturbating and cumming to someone else hurts. I mean, I feel guilty if I even look at other guys in public.
>>
>>18933771
That's always good advice
>>
>>18933766
I already have long curly hair and a burly frame. What now? Is that something a significant portion of women would find appealing?
>>
>>18933777
emma roberts is ugly something is wrong with him
>>
File: Emma Dance.webm (1.43 MB, 640x640)
1.43 MB
1.43 MB WEBM
>>18933790
>
>>
>>18933779
that's one of the main reasons people need to come here, actually
>>
File: IMG_3600.jpg (35 KB, 330x540)
35 KB
35 KB JPG
>>18933786
Yes
>>
>>18933794
For what, too much good advice?
>>
>>18933798
people assuming the worst have all sorts of problems with their lives.
They have low self esteem, don't ask out people they are interested in, have anxiety, don't try to deal with their shit...

to name just the ones out of the top of my head.

Of course, sometimes it protects you. Still, here it's pathological most of the time.
>>
for girls,

should I stop messaging you if you have ignored message, we're practically strangers just an exchange of numbers and nothing more.
>>
>>18933793
what the fuck
>>
>>18933807
yep
>>
>>18933807
Women are very subtle in the way they text. I can assure you that this is to get you to talk to them in person so they can offer you sex
>>
>>18933816
Thought so, thanks, follow up question then would be is this common? to give out your number then have a change of heart.
>>
>>18933820
iunno. never been the type to do that myself and don't hear about whether others i know do that or not
>>
>>18933793
would smooch/10
>>
There's a cute girl that I would like to approach, but I never really get a chance. The only time I ever see her is during class, and as soon as she sits down, she pulls out her laptop and doesn't stop staring at it until class is over. Once class is over, she either walks out before me, or I get up and start walking, and it would be awkward for me to stop right next to her and start talking. Wat do?
>>
Grills, Is your face really ugly without makeup??
>>
>>18933846
>bring hammer
>crush her laptop to tiniest bits
>enjoy her undivided attention

for real though, just swallow up the awkwardness and talk to her anyway. Explain you want to know her better and offer taking her for coffe or whatever.
>>
>>18933861
I like them only if they don't have any makeup
>>
>>18933864
That is weird as all fuck. If some random person walked up to me and asked if I wanted to get some coffee, I would think they were trying to kill me or something.
>>
>>18933872
you are not random, you share a class.
talk to her there, ignore her laptop. If she's not interested at all, she'll tell you to fuck off or will just act uninterested. If she likes you, she'll ignore the laptop.
>>
>>18933872
Then don't do it and don't ask what to do about it.
>There's a girl I like, how do I talk to her?
>You should just talk to her.
>That would be weird so I won't talk to her.
>>
>>18933861
It's not more ugly, but I have more pimples and my eyes appear a bit smaller.
>>
>>18932263
I really want to watch a guy masturbate. Maybe suck on his cock while he does. Have him jack off into me. (Any hole would be good actually?)

Would any guys be into this? Is there a way to suggest this without freaking a man out?
>>
Was in sneakers store trying sneakers on. Girl helping me at one point asked "how was your day"
Do you think she was interested in me? That question wasn't related to sneaker's desu
>>
I need help.
Long story short I made it a plan to hang out with a woman tomorrow. Just her and I, undivided attention, at a restaurant.

I'm stressed trying to plan what to do here because honestly, I like her a lot. What should I talk about? What stuff should we do after the restaurant? Should I dress casually or go all out on fancy clothes?
>>
>>18934111
It's called small talk. If a shop assistant is going to have to deal with you for more than 30 seconds they make small talk so that it's not just awkward silence.
>>
>>18934100
Fuck you gay
>>
>>18934111
I can guarantee you she's just being friendly and trying to make her shit day fly faster.
>>
>>18934118
>Should I dress casually or go all out on fancy clothes?
just try to do nice but not too nice
you could do slacks and a button up
if you show up in a three piece suit, and she's wearing jeans and flip flops, it's gonna be awkward
you'll be aight with jeans or slacks and a button up
>>
File: 7d1[1].jpg (49 KB, 600x649)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
>>18934124
>>18934120
fuck me. :( ofc
may as well an hero...
>>
>>18934121
I'm a girl
>>
>>18934118
Dress to suit the restaurant. As a dude you can get away with jeans and a shirt pretty much anywhere. If it's the sort of place you'd wear a tie then make sure she knows that so that she doesn't arrive underdressed.

You can't plan a conversation. Is this someone you know well? You start easy, talk about her day and your day, talk about the food as you're ordering, tell anecdotes, smile, laugh, make jokes, poke fun at her and at yourself, offer to let her try your wine/beer/whatever you're drinking because it's so good you think she'd like it, eat your food, swap forkfuls with each other, by this point you should have hints on topics to ask her about from other things she's said and then rest is easy once you make it that far.

Pro tip: dinner dates are literally the worst idea for a first date.
>>
>>18934100
Rub your pussy while lying next to him
>>
>>18934100
I actually sometimes used to really desire a girl watching me masterbate. But
im not very attractive rn
>>
>>18934145
Thanks.
Now wjat would have been an ideal first date?
>>
>>18933471
Tell your boyfriend I want to suck his dick and cuck you because your taste is shit and his is ultra-patrician.

t. Homosexual Cinematographer
>>
>>18934166
Something lower pressure where you don't just sit across from them for ~90 minutes. Light activity is usually preferable. Ice skating, playing pool/snooker at a hall (not at a pub though), drinks at a low-key bar, a visit to [x] local event. You take something like that and combine it with more casual eating, which you do second. So you play a few games of pool, laugh at how bad both of you are, give you both a chance to loosen up, then go some place you can wear a t-shirt and she could wear jeans to, hopefully some place that you have scoped out and know is good, casual dining (not fast food), where you can suggest what to order. Some place with a bit of a louder atmosphere than your average fancy restaurant is good.
>>
>>18934100
>Would any guys be into this? Is there a way to suggest this without freaking a man out?

My girl will sometimes literally grab my hand, put it on my cock and whisper that she wants to watch me cum in to my ear, and makes playful licks/kisses at my shaft/balls while I do.

It works.
>>
>>18933777
Sounds like you have sexual ADD dude. No, what gets someone hard is something they find sexually attractive. Does your body consider this woman worthy enough to bare your children physically? Shit like that will get you turned on. Go play some bing bing wahoo on Nintendo if you cant get hard to a regular attractive woman
>>
>>18934178
Ok good.
Now tell me, should I just continue at the restaurant or find a way to branch out of there to another place?
>>
>>18934205
Not now at the last minute, no.
>>
>>18934039
For me, it all depends on the situation. If we just happen to be walking nearby and I say something about our exam or something, then it isn't weird. But if I just walk right up and ask her out (we've never really spoken before), then it's weird.
>>
For guys and girls,

I've gotten a lot more muscular in recent years thanks to the gym but I'm still the shy guy I was before. A very attractive friend of mine complimented me on my arms recently, saying I look like I could rip someone in half, and I was at a loss for words. What's a good thing to say here?
>>
>>18934240
"Yeah, and not just with my arms, babe, if you know what I mean."

Or you could be a normal person, laugh and thank her for the compliment.
>>
>>18934233
I fail how to see "How was that exam? I know right it was so hard. Wanna get some coffee sometime" is any less or more awkward than "You wanna grab some coffee sometime?". Maybe I'm just shameless.
>>18934240
>"Oh my! I would never!"
>Feign swooning in a dramatic way.
>>
Why is it so difficult to refuse when attractive woman request me??
>>
>>18934327
It's not. I had a bitch try that shit on me too, but I'm a real street nigga, you dig, cuh? With a golden shovel and an iced out AP.
>>
>>18934240
"sorry bro, I'm not gay. Thanks for the compliment tho"
>>
>>18932935
Yes, I would date a neet too
>>
>>18932955
>>18934353
No friends, no gf. Am neet. Fuck, its so overwhelming and Im trying to lose weight too. Its overwhelming that you'd need a full circle of friends, be fit, and be employeed full time just for some girls to notice you.
>>
>>18933700
Stop overthinking, it's nothing bad
>>
>>18933861
Yes, I don't use makeup though
>>
>>18934361
>It's so overwhelming to pretend to be a normal human being before you get treated like one.
I don't know what to tell you that you haven't heard before.
>>
>>18934361
I don't think being neet is that bad. I am currently dating one and I don't consider him as a loser
>>
>>18934371
But I feel like its too late for me, already 21. To get all that I described will take a lot of work and time is ticking...I should have been well normal by now with like 6 former gf's, etc.
>>
Is it weird that I didn't have sex in more than a year? I'm a 22 yo female
>>
>>18934406
No
>>
>>18934406
It's much weirder that we've never had sex bb ;)
>>
oh fuck i think i texted her too much FUCK
>>
>>18934494
Show us a screenshot so we can laugh at you.
>>
File: 1488815401061[1].png (271 KB, 335x434)
271 KB
271 KB PNG
Hey chicks, how do I deal with being a loser and stuff and wanting to have sex with girls and shit
>>
I unironically like Black woman
>>
>cut my own hair
>fucked it up, but it was kind of unnoticeable unless you look hard
>go to class and no one notices/ says anything
>talk to girl I have a huge crush on
>"Did your barber mess up your hair or something? It looks messed up on the top lol"
d-does she like me?
>>
As a 25 year old male, I've only known rejection from women. People tell me just to have confidence and just view myself as desireable or to not care, but if I do so then not a single girl interacts with me in any way. To the point of cold shoulders, complete silence, and avoiding my presence.

I'm beggining to wonder, am I truly just incredibly ugly? Or is my personality just so repulsive that girl's avoid me?
>>
Hey girls, how do I castrate myself so I can stop being lonely? Oh wait. Does castrating yourself remove the loneliness or does it just get rid of the sexual urge? May also need to give myself a lobotomy.
>>
>>18934387
I was just like you not too long ago. I dropped out of college after a year and I became a neet living with my parents.

I went back to college after 2 years of being a neet (I'm 25 now) and now things are sort of ok. I still have never been in a relationship before, but at least now I have a job. I also lost about 50 pounds over the years. I'm 5'9 170lbs. I go to the gym 4 times a week. I talk to people, but I still have trouble opening up so I kind of lose contact with them after I stop having classes with them.

I've had girls talk to me and even ask me out, but like I said I have trouble opening up to people so I tend to shy away when I get too close to people. I also feel like it's too late for me sometimes. I recommend joining a gym, or if that is too much just jog every morning or buy a jump rope to lose weight. Don't worry about girls until you fix yourself. How is anyone supposed to like you when you don't even like yourself?
>>
>>18934696
>incredibly ugly
>repulsive
You're not necessarily either extreme, you just might not be attractive *enough* or interesting *enough* for the girls you've asked out to want to date
>>
>>18932935
Let's take this question a bit further:
>Employment/success
>Appearance
>Personality
What's most important? What's least important?

Would you put up with a socially-inept NEET if he was good looking?
>>
Girls; how can I tell if a girl is interested in me? At my local bank works a cute girl and idk if i've been getting the wrong signals or if she's actually interested.
>>
File: labeouf-doit.png (307 KB, 624x340)
307 KB
307 KB PNG
>>18934734
Read the FAQ in OP.
>>
>>18934361
>>18934387
So, I might be able to give a few pointers here. I come from a pretty similar background, and I'm not going to give you the tough love "just do it" bullshit or the wishy washy "it will all work out" shit. The first thing I suggest is start coming up with some serious goals and how to realistically reach them. You've got the time to do it, and it is the best way to start. You want to lose weight? Start thinking of some easier goals to start working towards that. When I was 17 I weighed in at 300 lbs. on a 5'7" frame. There was no running or going to the gym option, because quite frankly I was too fat to even do that. So I started walking, at first a block two or three times a day. After a few weeks of that I increased it and so on and so forth until I got into damned good shape. Do this kind of thing with each goal. Set aside some time to apply for part time jobs, slowly and steadily work your way up in them. So on and so forth. Next is don't give up. It is going to be hard, you are going to have days where you break down and cry out of frustration, just keep reminding yourself of your goals and the progress you've made. You are going to have setbacks, sometimes major ones. I just recently had to move back in with my parents at 30. It sucks, it means changes I don't like, and it sure as shit means a serious relationship isn't an option (which totally sucks, because I really liked being in them when they were an option). The flipside is I'm not giving up. I got my ass back into school, I'm still exercising, I'm looking for a job that works well with school. Sure I might not be able to do the adult settle down and start a family thing until a bit later in life, but that's ok, there are always options.
>>
>>18934764
There are just as many women who have fucked up as badly as I have and they're going to be starting later too, I can always date younger, and there is always the option of living a happy and full life just by myself. The last is to learn to love yourself while not being fucking delusional about it. You're not perfect, I'm not, no one is. We all have flaws, we all need to work on them. That being said, don't beat yourself up. You can compare your life to your peers' lives, and that can provide some insight on what you need to work on, it doesn't mean that because you are at different points that you are too late, not going to make it, or worthless. It just means you have a different path to walk. Basically in short, set goals with reasonable milestones, work towards those milestone, don't lose hope, expect things to fall apart at times, bounce back, and remember that while we should strive for some semblance of fitting into normal society, we all get there in our own way, some people just have an easier time with it.
>>
File: 39864589.jpg (51 KB, 466x349)
51 KB
51 KB JPG
I havent had sex with my girlfriend for around 5 months and I'm already at my limit. She keeps telling me shes always busy or her schedule clashes with mine. I cant keep jerking forever, I miss her warmth so much already. I'm already getting delusional and starting to think she's found someone else. Heck, my co-worker suggested just last night if I wanted to spend the night with her after hearing my situation (of course I declined). How do I get my gf to understand? Am I just being unreasonable?
>>
>>18934847
>How do I get my gf to understand?
Talk with her, communication is very important in a relationship
>Am I just being unreasonable?
Not really, physical intimacy (and sex) is also important in a relationship
You'd be unreasonable (and a dick, pun intended) if you cheated on her though
>>
Femanons, why are you acting so much like jews this week? This is straight up 'oy vey shut it down they know' screeching tier stuff on the news.
>>
>>18934847
does she know how important being intimate is with her means to you? If not, she'd probably be flattered and you can work something out.
You're not unreasonable at all and in fact 5 months is a period of time in which she should be craving you as well. Does she just have a low sex drive so she really doesn't pay attention to that much?
Also, props on turning down that slut just wanting to get dick. Very nice
>>
File: 1496471478097.jpg (88 KB, 720x405)
88 KB
88 KB JPG
>>18933476
Wait...spent 4 hours talking to him and all the bad tension that has bred over the past few weeks has practically vanished, things are good, fun and lively. I hate it but...I guess I let him get me. Never before have I had such a good friend--he's the best thing to ever happen to me. It's sad but he does make me happy, happier than anyone or anything else had.
>>
>>18934874
>Talk with her, communication is very important in a relationship
Like I've said, She keeps telling me shes always busy or her schedule clashes with mine

>You'd be unreasonable (and a dick, pun intended) if you cheated on her though
>>18934883
>props on turning down that slut just wanting to get dick. Very nice
Dont be, I was so close to accepting it and I keep thinking what if I went for it.

>does she know how important being intimate is with her means to you?
Yeah. The weird thing was we used to fuck like rabbits when we started off. Now its just quick kisses and hugs. Not saying I dont appreciate that but I'm just really deprived
>>
>>18934881
feminism is being kill so it's screaming real loud in delicious, delicious agony
>>
>>18934894
>Like I've said, She keeps telling me shes always busy or her schedule clashes with mine
I said "Communicate with her"
Sat her down and have a serious discussion
If she doesn't make any effort to communicate with you, you're losing your time with her
>>
Grills, Are you submissive in bed??
>>
>>18934938
Personally, not really. Switch, prefer being dominant.
>>
Guys,
Socially inept girl here.
I've been creep staring at this guy for 2 years in college and he finally decided to talk to me (online). If I want a meaningful relationship should I play hard to get or just be upfront?
>>
>>18934881
I just learned about this app today and I want to check out some pretty girls in it, it's great. I personally don't wear makeup so I can't be bothered by it
>>
>>18934973
>If I want a meaningful relationship should I play hard to get or just be upfront?
Be upfront
Confidence is sexy and attractive, even more if you're normally shy
>>
>>18934973
Not really upfront but rather show interest. While I do agree with the other guy that confidence is attractive, being needy isnt. Theres a balance.
>>
>>18934734
Always assume they are just being nice
>>
>>18934973
Depends on the guy. If he is a hunter, play hard to get. If he is prey, be direct. Either way make sure it is clear that you are expressing your intent.
>>
>>18934973
He probably doesn't want to be with some creepy retard girl
>>
>>18934990
>He doesn't like being stared at by a cute girl
>>
>>18934973
Be upfront for christ's sake. Men are generally accustomed to some level of rejection by the time they get to be college aged and are highly likely to interpret a girl playing hard to get as disinterest and move on rather than take the chance on getting burned.
>>
>>18934992
I'd rather not have my nuts gnawed off in the middle of the night by some stalker psycho
>>
Women, what is your favourite part of sex?
>>
>>18935001
Child support
>>
To femanons:
Would you date a guy with these qualities?:
>20 m UK
>very knowledgable but sometimes very abscent-minded
>188cm (6ft2), very young looking, often mistaken for 16, girls often compliment my eyes
>have job but I'd like to go to uni next year to study IT
>had long-distance 8/10 gf for almost 3 years, met twice, lost my virginity to her and she said I was really good at sex because I last a very very long time and do lots of foreplay.
>she said I was "the cutest boy she'd ever seen"
(I understand these must be taken with a heap of salt)
>somewhat /fit/, been lifting for about 6 months and pretty muscular in my arms and chest now, other than that I'm quite lean
>diagnosed as autistic when I was 17. I've been told that the most embarassing aspie thing I do is freak out and try to pet it for as long as possible when I see a dog or cat. I also stim, I'm very shy and really bad with communication. I sometimes say things that upset people without realising, but I'm definitely not a retarded "you have to eat all the eggs" type. I have a lot of aspie interests and I sometimes bore people by talking about them too much.
I really would benefit by being with someone who understands me.
>>
>>18935003
Not a woman
>>
>>18934973
>If I want a meaningful relationship should I play hard to get or just be upfront?

There's a middle ground there...

But if you were forced to do one of the two
>Socially inept girl here.
By your own admission, you probably don't have the necessarily social aptitude to pull off "hard to get" (which, even when you *can* pull it off perfectly, isn't attractive to every guy and even repels some).
>>
>>18935005
You sound so ridiculously cute.
>>
>>18935014
Oh... how? Is that a bad thing?
>>
>>18935005
You are not attractive physically imo but sound like you have a really nice personality so I would date
>>
>>18935047
I wouldn't date a girl who doesn't find me attractive.
>>
>>18935051
That's natural
>>
When you pass a girl in the street that you know, and they smile (more of a smirk) at you without saying anything, what does that mean? Do they want or expect you to say hi first?
>>
>>18935060
I do that when I expect person to not talk to me
>>
>>18935031
No, it is not.
You sound weird in a cute way, makes me want to hug you.
>I've been told that the most embarassing aspie thing I do is freak out and try to pet it for as long as possible when I see a dog or cat.
This made me smile so hard my face hurts.
>>
>>18935005
>freak out and try to pet it for as long as possible when I see a dog or cat
Isn't this normal though?
Cats and dogs are awesome (dogs are more though)
>>
>>18935060

Not a chick, but I do this all the time to random people I walk by.

It's called a polite acknowledgement.

You see someone you know, but you can't be assed to go out of your way to properly greet them (because you're busy, or just don't want to actually talk), but you've already made eye contact so you just express your goodwill by politely smiling and acknowledging that, "yes. I recognize your presence". As opposed to coldly ignoring them or committing to a physical gesture (like a wave) which might be construed as more inviting of a conversation.
>>
>>18935062
Aww thanks, that makes me feel good. Are you a grill? Do you have any advice on getting a nice gf, considering my communication problems?
>>
>>18935070
I talk about dogs all the time, I verbally count the amount of doggos I saw in a day, and I always tell the person I'm with about a dog I see in the distance. If a dog or cat is not moving anywhere I'll sit cross-legged down on the ground and pet it.
>>
>>18935071
I usually say a quick hello, just smiling would be even more awkward for me
>>
>>18935070
>>18935077
Dogs are shit, I wonder if you smell like them too
>>
>>18935080
>I usually say a quick hello, just smiling would be even more awkward for me

Sure, but:

1.) That opens the door for conversation since you're basically initiating one
2.) Requires you to stop long enough to be heard/go out of your way to come in to audible distance
3.) How is smiling in any way awkward?
>>
>>18935090
uhm no, you can just walk by each other, say hi and walk on, especially if you're heading in opposite directions. It's bad if you meet someone in a trainstation or similar though.. The smiling itself is not awkward, but it just doesn't feel like enough to me.
>>
>>18935083
You are shit!
>>
my gf of 2 months allows her small dog to sleep in her bed

what do you guys think of this?
>>
>>18935106
sometimes the smallest dogs have biggest penises
>>
>>18935106
I like dogs, but I wouldn't let them sleep in my bed. They are very unclean.
>>
>>18935102
I'm not a dog at least
>>
>>18935106
Kill the dog, they are disgusting
>>
>>18935106
At the start of the relationship, I would prefer it sleeps on the floor or in another room because fucking without the bed being clear is awkward and annoying

Once the honeymoon phase is over and we fuck less, I'll allow it to come on the bed, as long as it stays on the cover and doesn't stop us from cuddling to sleep
>>
>>18935112
Being a dog is better than being you
>>
>>18935106
I allow big dogs to sleep in my bed, so a small one wouldn't be a problem.
>>
>>18935119
Well it's nice being a dirty ugly thing loved my normies even though all I do is having Stockholm syndrome and stink
>>
>>18935111
>>18935114
>>18935117
>>18935124

When we kiss or cuddle, or even when we have sex (only recently we moved him out the room, his response is growling from outside the door or clawing at it) he seems to get mad/agitated cause he thinks I may be attacking her (?) so he growls at me, but he's tiny so it's not like he can genuinely hurt me but I get pretty annoyed cause it interrupts the times where we're affectionate.
>>
>>18935131
>Ugly
>Stockholm Syndrom
Confirmed for never having seen a dog nor owned one
>>
>>18935133
>he seems to get mad/agitated cause he thinks I may be attacking her
That's exactly what he thinks
He's an annoying small dog, I hate those
What kind is he?
>>
>>18935133
I think he just wants back into the room. My cats do the same thing, and even try to open the door by jumping at the handle sometimes.
>>
>>18935072
I'm a girl.

I don't have many advice. Online might be a good idea, but also once you are in college you could find a group or a club who shares your interests.
>>
>>18935137
Jack Russell Terrier but he's a mix cause his fur is like 2 inches long, brown, doesn't seem that nice to pet cause it feels like I'm stroking hay.

>>18935138
He definitely wants to get back in the room... so he can jump on the bed and interrupt whats going on...

Obviously this dog has been in her life much longer than I have, huge emotional attachment and all that, but I come from a black background where dogs stay off the furniture, you don't kiss their fur etc cause it seems unhygenic for me. He gets more love than me when I'm around her.
>>
>>18935148
But would he attack you? does he growl at you? Maybe you need to spend more time with the dog, she's not gonna get rid of him for you anyways.
>>
>>18935133
I worked as a professional trainer for a few years, that shit would not fly with me. While the intent may be sweet, the behavior isn't and I'd be shutting that shit down immediately.
>>
>>18935151
Well the dog is fairly affectionate to me anyways, I just feel so so about dogs cause it's like having a child sometimes. When I come through the door he'll jump up at me and stuff and I'll pet him, I play ball with him sometimes but I get grossed out cause my hands start to smell of his breathe or he just smells in general - I've told her he needs to be cleaned/trimmed and she's getting round to it.

>>18935153
How would you sort this out? He isn't fond of treats. He seems me as an alpha cause he will not bite me or get annoyed at me, he always wants to play ball, he'll get out of the way when I move towards him when he's on my side of the bed, or he'll move when I walk in his direction.
>>
I went over to my gf's (dating nearly 3 years) place today and she brought up how she thinks we are drifting apart and that she loves me but doesnt feel a spark anymore and that she doesnt think there is a solution.

Last year she said before she went away for 3 months that she was worried we'd drift apart while she was away. When she got back within a few hours she started crying and saying she thinks we've drifted apart. Shes said this a few times throughout the year but never really would elaborate. I worry she got her fear stuck in her head and then thought it was real. Interestingly her best friend broke up with her bf because she said they were drifting apart. I wonder if she got the idea from her friend.

She kept crying tonight and said if worse comes to worse will we still be friends. She also said she loves me and Im her best friend and that Im the best bf anyone could ask for. Is my relationship over? I honestly dont feel like the spark is gone or we have drifted apart or anything.

Any advice or insight appreciated because Im a bit in shock, is there someone else and shed rather be with them? Im so confused
>>
>>18935171
Communicate with her
Ask her why she thinks that and talk with her about it
>>
>>18935161
I was trained to not treat train (German schwarze is the school of thought I learned). I'd be correcting the hell out of him starting with a slip collar and leash combined with serious verbal and body language correction and then tone it down to verbal and body language.
>>
Grills, Are you submissive in bed??
>>
I make a black gf recently. Give me an advice pls
>>
>>18935185
dirty race traitor
kys
>>
>>18935184
Depends on the girl
Most are switch

>>18935185
She's a person before being a woman before being black
There's as much differences between her and a white girl than between two white girls
>>
>>18935189
>Affirming your race dominance over another race is being a traitor
>>
I just want to give total control of my penis to a woman and let her be in complete control over when i'm allowed to have an erection / cum. Are you girls into this?
>>
>>18935174
I have, she says she doesnt know why. Is my relationship over?
>>
>>18935199
Some are, they are rare though
>>
>>18935200
>I have, she says she doesnt know why.
She does.
>Is my relationship over?
If she doesn't want to/can't communicate with you, yes, it's over because you should end it
>>
I make a black gf recently. Give me an advice pls
>>
>>18935193
How are they different????
>>
>>18935216
dirty race traitor
kys
>>
File: file.png (2.08 MB, 1080x1080)
2.08 MB
2.08 MB PNG
Do women prefer Barrett or Francisco?
>>
>>18935247
who's who? They both look like fuckboys but I'd take the one on the right
>>
File: file.png (788 KB, 479x720)
788 KB
788 KB PNG
>>18935257
Right one is Barrett
>>
>>18933579
License and registration please.

>>18933662
>Guys: Is it cringy to text him and ask him if he wants to make saturday a date?
No.

>>18934973
DESU if he hasn't made a move in two years hard to get is probably the wrong choice.
>>
>>18935216
Hide yo bananas.
>>
>>18935143
Online is scary for me, that's how I met my last gf and it didn't go so well
>>
>>18935305
Can be good if you find someone closer to you.
>>
both.
I know this question is wrong but what factors will make you cheat your SO.
>>
>>18935340
I'm really spooked about doing that, what if someone I know sees my details on a dating website?
>>
Girls.
Does telling ”you” how I feel ever work?

Short version Backstory:
I think I overplayed my hand with this girl and recently our ”dates” hasn’t been very dateish... I think I may have become friendzoned now: ideas?
>>
>>18935135
I had 3 dogs. They indeed are what I said
>>
>>18935372
none. If I already dislike her enough to seriously consider fucking someone else, I'll just make them my new gf.
>>
>>18935184
Yes, really.
>>
>>18935193
No, it's black and then female, it's less than a person
>>
>>18935388
Did you just overshare like hell? Because that can come off as needy and weak especially early in a relationship. But not only when men do it, women too.
>>
>>18935247
Neither
>>
>>18935382
Then they'll know you're looking for a girlfriend.
Like a lot of other single guys your age.

It's not shameful! :]
>>
>>18935400
Naah nothing in perticular that I can point out as being ”the situation” that ruined it just like in general: I didn’t take the chance when it was there”-kind of situation
>>
>>18933604
Realistically, how could a 5/10 guy get a 10/10 girl? I have a low paying job, so no pros either.
>>
>>18935422
Ahh, I think I misunderstood you there. You can try to recreate the situation, like inviting her to a particularly romantic date instead of just hanging out or whatever you guys have been doing. And yeah, telling them how you feel is definitely the right way to go, if you want a definite result but I don't know your girl so maybe be careful about it.
>>
fk u
>>
>>18935435
fk u 2
>>
>>18935400
What is the cutoff on how much you can share about yourself early, and why does oversharing seem needy and weak?
>>
>>18935459
can i have a hug anon
i am very lonely ;_;
>>
>>18935461
Sure thing sweetie pie desu <(.u.)>
>>
>>18935460
I'd say if it is something depressing, don't share it until you are at least good friends. That includes suicidal thoughts, complaining a lot to the point where the other person only listens to you rant... generally stuff that makes the other person think that you are a piece of work and take up more energy than you give back.

Oversharing also means talking too much about yourself. You need to be interested in what the other person talks about as well, I noticed that many many people have problems with keeping up a fluent conversation without it turning out as either a rant battle of who has it worse, or just one person ranting to the other one.
>>
>>18935465
thank u :3c
>>
>>18935435
>>18935459
>>18935461
>>18935465

and this, dear anons, is the pathological form of sex loads of people indulge in, because their mothers didn't really love them, and they feel constant need for being hugged and cared for. Sex card usually accomplishes it.
>>
>>18935478
Speak for yourself. You don’t have to read into things so much.
>>
>>18935480
I do speak for myself.
I just feel like sharing it, for realising so made my life easier, more pleasant and more free of tensions.
>>
>>18935495
ok so what do you mean by "sex loads" and "sex card" what are these and what are you talking about?
>>
>>18935499
oh, I should have put a comma there.
it's a pathological form of sex, loads (or lots, if you will) of people do it.

Sex card is a phrasal verb. Here I used it to say that using sex you can earn being hugged by people who wouldn't do it otherwise.
>>
>>18935511
I did want to hug him. And gender has nothing to do with it, if thats what you mean by sex card. And I don't know how hugging someone over the internet has to do with sexual intercourse...
or how exactly this relates to someone's past relationship with their own mother
>>
>>18935521
>And gender has nothing to do with it
never said anything similar to it.

and ffs, it's just a nice example. I don't quite get why are you this defensive. It wasn't about you. It was about typical people actions in general.

Hugging someone over the internet has nothing to do with their mothers, you turned this one around.
>>
>>18935530
You were the one that mentioned mothers, and the word sex for that matter. Ok Mr. Freud psychologist, where in that exchange that you responded to did the word sex even get mentioned?
What are you on about?
>>
>>18935537
I already explained it. Ask specific questions if you don't get it. And I disagree with every single part of what freud said that involved sex.
>>
File: thisisbait[1].png (66 KB, 625x626)
66 KB
66 KB PNG
>>18935543
Not only are you probably very wrong, but I have barely any idea what the fuck you were talking about since post 1. pls stop posting
>>
>>18935551
oh no
you posted a picture
I have no chance of winning the argument now and I have to walk away in shame.
Good job, anon. You really showed me.
>>
>>18935553
I just posted the picture as an alternitive to typing it out
>>
>>18935558
well, it's not bait.
it's a genuine thought I decided to share.
I don't care that you don't like it
>>
>>18935566
I'd like it more if it even made sense in the first place, anon
fuck off with your sex (comma) loads, and shove your sex cards up your ass pls
>>
>>18935569
don't act like a femnazi, big pls. there's really no need to ridicule yourself.
As I said, I can explain anything you don't get, if you just say precisely what it is
>>
>>18935572
feminism has nothing to do with this.
what I dont get is why you haven't fucked off yet. How about you go up to people, ask them for hugs while telling them about your poor relationship with your mom and how people have loads of sex out there....
instead of posting, k?
>>
>>18935583
>feminism has nothing to do with this.
I agree, it doesn't
yet still, you act the way a typical femnazi does
>>
>>18935586
Perhaps reddit suits you better. You can make posts that make 0 sense there and they will eat up all the bait
>>
>>18935592
do you realise it's like your 5th ad hominem, with zero meritorical arguments?
it's pretty redditish of you, if of anybody.
>>
>>18935601
Its not an olympic competition here anon. Just make better posts that people can understand next time.
>>
>>18935606
there is a difference between "people" and "you".
only you have problem with it, you refuse to help me resolve.
It's more of a problem with reading comprehension, it seems.
>>
>>18935610
I'm the only one who responded. How would you know that I would be the only one that didn't understand it, the others lurking didnt make a response
>>
>>18935615
because they weren't confused, because they understood.
People saying dumb shit here are booed away, with everyone telling them they are retarded. It didn't happen here. It's only you and your personal problem.
>>
>>18935628
I was booing you away, perhaps they werent responding because I already was.
>>
>>18935628
>>18935631
Jesus Christ, get a room, you two.
>>
>>18935631
nah, we always work together here.
Just observe what's the reaction for hitler


>>18935639
ok
>>
>>18935641
A vast majority of the time in these threads specifically its one or two anon's on average responding with advice, and rarely do they even respond to another anon who gave advice to add on to it. That just doesn't happen that often, its usually just one on one, question and advice answer
>>
File: 1478977610384[1].png (267 KB, 480x527)
267 KB
267 KB PNG
>>18932263
I just noticed that the colors for both gender sign is switched
>>
File: 1505288581700.png (75 KB, 230x230)
75 KB
75 KB PNG
how do girls feel about bisexual guys? is it repulsive to you to know that a man would be with another man, and probably has?
i know for guys its a flat "whatever" if a girl has been with or dated another girl in the past. do you feel the same way about boys?
>>
File: 1484637673024.png (192 KB, 1196x368)
192 KB
192 KB PNG
>>18934847
Update. I talked to her awhile ago and she suddenly had this epiphany that she should focus purely on work until we get married. This is because she comes from a poor family and they depend on her for living. Yes, she told me no more sex. What now.
>>
>>18935793
End it.
Even if she is not bullshitting and banging someone else, you are not getting any and she is putting your relationship as a second tier.
If she want her focus, let her have it.
>>
>>18935793
no more sex, no more relationship. It's simple.
if she liked sex with you, she'd try hard and be able to find some time for it.
>>
>>18935782
am dude anon,
just find some girls who dont mind or arent homobphobic,
or you are going to have to choose a side, perhaps girls could get worried you wont be loyal if you arent into only girls as they are one or that you might end up prefering dudes
>>
File: 3.png (345 KB, 498x568)
345 KB
345 KB PNG
Would you go on a date if you were on your period, ladies?




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.