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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>What do girls/guys think about <an insecurity including, but not limited to: looks, physical traits, personality traits, virginity or otherwise lack of dating experience>
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
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ladie: military issued boots, yai or nay?
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>>19015184
Yay if you're actually in the military and wearing them for work. Nay if you're a civilian or in civilian clothing. No one likes a poser.
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>>19015192
what if people always think i'm in the military even if i'm wearing civilian clothes?
couldn't i pull it off then?
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Has anyone gone from just friends to hooking up/relationship? What were the circumstances behind it?

I have a friend who I've recently been spending more time with, we go out to movies, bars, hang at my place, just generally spending a lot of time together. When we go out, we always get asked if we're "together" by everyone, whether it be friends (those who know our relationship and those who dont) and random people we might meet. This has been happening more and more frequently and it's starting to make me question things.

The past few times we've decided to hang out we've gotten a bottle of wine with the intention to have a glass or two and then head out and do stuff. Every time we've just stayed in, drink the whole damn bottle, and listen to music, talking the entire night. Here's the thing, these past few times we've end up cuddling on my couch, snuggled up next to one another at the end of the night. Ive got my hands in her hair and shes rubbing her hands up and down my arm, we also hold hands, a lot. At first I just took it as being comfortable with one another, but the comments we get all the time, the frequency in which our nights end up like this, and the phone calls I get from her late night (usually drunk as hell) are putting ideas in my head. I dont do this with any of my other female friends. Some of them are GFs of other friends and I keep thinking how if I had been doing the same thing with them and their BFs walked in on us, the reaction wouldn't be "oh look, theyre so close"

This is really messing with me and I'm starting to think about it. I don't want to fall for her, I genuinely do like having her as my friend and I feel we're not right together as a couple. I keep trying to gauge her interest level, never overtly, but just trying to suss out if she has feelings for me at all. It doesnt seem like she does, but she has to know what we're doing isnt just what friends do, right? I'm a bit confused here.
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>>19015196
No one thinks you're in the military if you're wearing them while wearing civilian clothes. People who are actually in the military would never wear them when they're in civilian clothing, you're not fooling anyone
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i'm a man with atypically large thighs/butt. i know this and i wear tighter pants to accentuate them. not like uncomfortably tight, but i have that problem where the waste on my jeans has like a full two inches of give and yet they're almost skintight on my butt/thighs. it makes me feel good to have like, an asset. no pun intended.

is this offputting to women? or a subjective thing? I don't want to be creepy but like... i like my butt
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>>19015170
Do girls browse exhentai or danbooru?
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no hitler for a month
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What can I do to get a gf who will rough me up a little bit in bed?
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>>19015214
If I wanted to date someone with the same body shape as me, I'd date a woman.
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>>19015255
I mean I don’t have a girl’s butt or thighs... just bigger than average man butt/thighs lol
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>>19015250

just date around and be up front about your preferences.
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>>19015250
There are always dating sites from kinky people
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>>19015214

it depends really, people are cohesive beings. but if you are otherwise normal and attractive then yeah it can look nice. for best results we would want to just see a somewhat wide shot of you, with your face and butt in the shot. you can be clothed of course, cuz thats what women see.

just post a pic so we can see how it looks on you. most girls i know dont care if the butts flat or big. big is better than flat, but not always better than normal. in some cases though yeah. guys with really nice asses do get attention from girls.
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i started seeing this guy and he seemed really nice in the beginning and after a month he told me today that he doesn't like my natural colour and should dye it blonde.
"i want you to have you to have blonde hair, so you will dye your hair blonde"
Ending it now and running the fuck away is a good idea, right?
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>>19015200
You should talk with her about it. With or without feelings, you are already thinking about it.
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>>19015266
But there are grills who would be willing to sock me in the face, correct?
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>>19015274
Yeah, that's ridiculous. He can just find a blonde if he cares that much.
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>>19015278
The dynamics of our relationship make it weird to broach that subject with her. I don't think I ever could honestly tell her for two reasons.

1. When I first met her, years ago, I actually had a crush on her and got to know her with the intention of dating. She didn't feel the same so we stopped talking. A full year later we see each other randomly and get to talking and hit it off really well. We were both in relationships so there wasnt any pressure and we just became friends. I would feel really bad having to go through this again with her.

2. My friend group have all tried to make moves on her. Some in really embarrassing ways that have made me question if I even really know them at all. She's rebuked all of them and we've had numerous conversations about it, I honestly feel terrible about it because i didnt know it was going on and I feel shitty for putting her in those situations. She hates that she cant be friends with any guys because it always turns into that. It was so bad at one point she was crying telling me about it, I fucking dread being just another one of them, especially since we've gotten really close, I'd feel like I'd be betraying her.

I try to rationalize our nights as just being close, but like I said, it doesnt seem like things that friends do with each other. We've talked about being in a relationship before, always more as a what if then anything else. She always mentions how "I don't know what could happen, I could fall in love you one day" and I ask her if she would ever tell me if that were the case, and she says no, she doesnt want to be rejected. The only way this seems like it could come about it is some mutual event, don't think it could be a confession of feelings.
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>>19015223
Can you give me a guarantee?
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>>19015274
It depends.

My sister in law had the same situation. She's brown but died her hair blond for his guy, almost right at the beginning. They are together for more like 10 years now, so I guess they love each other.

Other than that, be prepared that any relationship comes with sacrifices. It's up to you what is in your limit and what is not.

Like my wife is into long haired guys, so even if I would like to cut it off now I rather keep it. It doesn't bother me that much and it makes her happy.

Other than that, if he really said what you wrote, then he's a total control freak and you better run before he tells you about his other standards and rules.
"so you will dye your hair blonde"
This really sounds like a line I imagine coming from a later wife abuser.
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Girls, how do you feel about a curved penis?
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>>19015313
>My sister in law had the same situation. She's brown but died her hair blond for his guy, almost right at the beginning.

thanks for the laugh
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how do you know if someone is your friend
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>>19015339
Indifferent
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Is it now socially acceptable to mention that you like video games on your tinder profile?
Are people not as turned off by it now ?
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>>19015200
I have, with my best friend. Pretty much the exact same circumstances as yours (hang out all the time, people would assume were a couple, etc).. only... different in that my friend is gay and had long since been “out”

And that made it so I was certain that I was just imagining things.

And then one night we were at a club, and were dancing, and just somehow started getting more physical, and the next thing I knew we basically became FWBs

At the time, I STILL thought she wasn’t in to me, and that she was just like me: single, on a dry spell, kind of lonely, and looking for something no strings attached. Hell even the selfish way she had sex kind of pointed in that direction.

That’s then one night she pulls me aside and asks if we can start over. If we can pretend we hadn’t slept with one another, if we could try for real dating.

And my mind was fucking blown.

Ultimately, I kind of used my drunk ness to dodge the question and she quickly pretended it was a joke and she denied ever being serious about it...

I had one hell of a time confronting her But I felt like it needed to be resolved or our friendship would be done.

Truth is, I knew we would never work as a couple. The things I love about her as a friend are also a lot of the things that I definitely wouldn’t be able to stand as a partner. I also believed that a lot of what drove her to me was not actually me, but the circumstances that were going on in her life. She had a lot of shit piled on her (lost her dad young, had a mom that loved her, but obviously was uncomfortable with her being gay and pretended to ignore it, had nearly died in a car accident) and I was the person closest to her, and part of her she wanted to be “normal” for once.

After that we stopped having sex, and we actually became almost closer as friends

And that’s normally where my story stops.... but... I guess a new development popped in that’s kind of fucked with my perception of things

>continued
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>>19015346
It's like being in love without the urge of wanting to fuck the other.
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>>19015455
>continued
So fast forward about 4 or so years to now.

We’re still best friends.
We’re both now in long terms relationships with women we truly care about.

And yesterday night her and another friend and I start drinking. And eventually we come back to mine and keep drinking. And my other friend decides t crash in the guest room so it’s just me and her....

And... I do something stupid... and start putting my hand on her and before I know it, things start escalating... we start messing arround... and... at one point she asks if I have condoms.. and I just... wake up. I reaize This isn’t right. This is something I have ALWAYS said I would NEVER do. And I tell her we need to stop. That I would never do something like this without my girlfriend involved (my gf is bi, and we’ve kicked around the idea of threesomes before).

And... we just start talking... and it turns out, the beliefs I had before... the understanding I came to about her and why she was interested in me... I’m no longer certain about..

We part ways and I immediately call my girlfriend and tell her what happened... and I’ve spent basically the entire day feeling like shit.

Oddly, my girlfriend is more or less ok with it. Definitely not happy.. but she says she actually gets it and is just a little surprised because she always thought she’d be the one who’d get in to trouble over stuff like this, and knows it only happened because it was my best friend... because of how similar those circumstances were to the things we’d do half a decade ago, and that the fact that I stopped it and immediately called her was what mattered to her.

And I guess that’s true, it kind of shows I’m not all just talk. But I never in my entirely life EVER though I’d be the one at risk of crossing that line.

To put this in to perspective: i might sound loose, but I’m nearly 30 and only had 4 partners. And I *intetionally* stayed abstinent until 24, waiting for “the right one”

>cont
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>>19015498
>cont

I think it probably also helps that my girlfriends had kind of “impure”thoughts about her too from, and when I said what I said about my girlfriend, my friends admitted she wouldn’t mind sleeping with her too... so now here I sit in a really fucking weird place thinking about things I never thought would be a concern.

Right now I think the stuff with my girlfriend will be fine... if I can learn to forgive myself and not take this to heart too hard, but I’m worried about my friend.

Because she’s with someone that makes her happier than I’ve ever seen before, and I’m not sure her girlfriend would be as understanding as mine.

My friend has a history of cheating, and i remember at the start of her relationship she admitted to be scared she’d slip up and fuck things up.

I was talking to my gf about it and she also mentioned noticing that after she came back from a wedding, she’s seemed kind of shaken about her relationship and that she’s worried she might be self sabotaging...

I don’t know.. I need to talk to her... but I’m trying to piece together what to do or say, because I don’t know what’s going on in her head, if she took this as seriously as I do now, or if this was just another thing she’s used to... and I just don’t.

Somewhat jokingly, I think the ideal scenario is we basically take the nuclear route where we just have a 4way and fuck away all the awkward (my gfs said if we did introduce anyone else, they’d be her first choice. She’s not exactly “loose” either, same partner count as me) but seriously.. I have no fucking clue.

How that relates to you with your friend.. I’m not sure.. (obviously this was also me venting a little) but if there’s anything you should pull from my story it’s that you should be careful with unresolved feelings. They can bite you in the ass
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>>19015442
Depends what games. There is a difference between liking Fallout, Ōkami, Dota, Lol and Zelda
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>>19015214
>I’m a man with atypically large thighs/butt
Im a dude, but it’s probably one of those things the differs from person to person. I know for a fact that my girlfriend friend loves staring at guys asses when their jeans are filled out.
She’s also constantly grabbing my ass and every time I bend over near her she’ll give me a smack.

I remember she once sent me a webcomic by this female strip artist that was basically about her doing exactly that to her own boyfriend, so I’d guess she’s not alone. and as someone who is decidedly in the “ass man” camp, not like I don’t understand the impulse.

>>19015274
>I started seeing a guy. 1 mont later he’s trying to carol my life. Should I run?

Yea. If he’s this way now, things would only go worse later.
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how important is it to smile at girls?
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Why do women like biology so much? Physics is cooler.
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>>19015442
For a guy, it gives off nerdy vibes and not in a good way. For a girl, it gives off gam3r gurl vibes.
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>>19015545
Not a chick, but as someone who basically never smiled growing up (self conscious about my teeth, and was shy as fuck) and concequesntly constantly got pegged as intimidating, overly serious, and kind of... stuck up? (None of which was true, I was actually a super sweet guy if I talked to you... I just... was really really ducking shy)

And who then decided to change that, break out of my shell, and learn to smile and talk more (to the point where people consider me one of the friendliest people around, and I can’t count how many times I’ve been called “sweet” or “the nicest guy” by girls who is basically sweep off their feet (that was basically my “shtick”, I’m a genuinely nice and super attentive guy, and girls just weren’t used to that, and it kind of instantly disarmed a lot of girls and made them feel like I was someone unique to them. Hell, it’s even attracted gay people of both genders,

Smiling makes a fucking MASSIVE difference.
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>>19015514
Thanks for the posts. I have a feeling that this might be one of those situations where things kind of happen one night and feelings buried deep or unrealized are brought to the surface. I responded to a previous poster who suggested i talk to her about but as i list here >>19015305 that approach doesnt seem practical. A one sided confession seems unrealistic, it seems like a mutual event has to happen for anything to move forward. Im kinda stuck.
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>>19015578
Reading your other post.... the similarity is pretty remarkable...

I kid you not, she always felt awkward about being friends with guys because she always felt like guys were to aggressive and she was always out off by it. But she felt I was different, that I never pushed or expected anything, and that’s why she felt she could trust me and be friends with me.

She also used to make very... off “jokes” about how.. we both suck at relationships and dating, so if we’re still single at the age of 40, we should just bite the bullet and get married to make our parents happy (jokes like this are why I didn’t really believe her when she stopped me and asked if we could try datin for real that night... because I was used to her making really bizarre jokes like that from time to time).

Anyway...

So here’s the thing.. you SAY talking about it is a bad idea... but... talking and not talking is EXACTLY why I’m in the predicament I am right now.

It’s EXACTLY why i very nearly did something that I would have regretted for the rest of my life because if I DID go all the way, if I DID cheat, even IF, IF my girlfriend still forgave me, I wouldn’t have. I would have hated myself and i would have ended things because I knew that this was a line that couldn’t be uncrossed, no matter how drunk I was.

I TRIED to talk to her all those years ago, and... we got somewhere.. it a lot of it got left unresolved, and apparently I never fully understood. Apparently I still don’t.

And on the reverse, talking and being communicative is EXACTLY why I still have a girlfriend. Because I have ALWAYS stressed having open lines of communication with her from the get to, and I made sure that basically the same weekend we became a seriously couple, that I set it as a goal that we could be the type of people that felt like they could tell each other basically anything without fear. And the years of trust and openness is what saved us.

So IMHO, talking cannot hurt.
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>>19015214
Meh, own it. It's subjective, but some women will definitely be into it. I've personally dated a couple of men with feminine butts. It's honestly kind of hot.
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>>19015200
>The past few times we've decided to hang out we've gotten a bottle of wine with the intention to have a glass or two and then head out and do stuff. Every time we've just stayed in, drink the whole damn bottle, and listen to music, talking the entire night. Here's the thing, these past few times we've end up cuddling on my couch, snuggled up next to one another at the end of the night. Ive got my hands in her hair and shes rubbing her hands up and down my arm, we also hold hands, a lot. At first I just took it as being comfortable with one another
> the frequency in which our nights end up like this, and the phone calls I get from her late night (usually drunk as hell)
> had been doing the same thing with them and their BFs walked in on us, the reaction wouldn't be "oh look, theyre so close"
This. This exactly. Yes, I've had a friendship escalate to sex and the weird-zone, and this is how it happened.
Be honest about your emotions. Don't make it weird. Don't think that friendship and sex or romance are exclusive. Do realize it can get weird and that the feelings escalate further.
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women, how do you like your boys to dress?
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>>19015648
Long, sexy black trench coats from Hot Topic. Fingerless faux-leather gloves. Chain wallets. Extra zippers and chains. Sideburns and an unshaven beard. Tripp shorts, cargo pants, or anything with pockets. Fedora like a distinguished gentleman and a tasteful black pop culture tee underneath. Crocs or sandals with straps. White socks.
That shit gets me sooooooo wet~
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>>19015570
>i smile
>i'm a nice guy
oh anon...
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>>19015648
Cargo shorts, t shirts with flames on them, shoes that have velcro, greasy hair.
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>>19015665
>>19015670
ok i already do all of that, what about my socks with sandals ?
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>>19015672
They have to be toe socks.
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>>19015679
Oh of course. They're pretty yellow looking, i haven't washed them in weeks.
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>>19015666
I’m nice, but not a “Nice Guy”. Truth is I’m the dude who just posted the giant wall of fucking text about how he almost cheated on his gf with his lesbian best friend.

And she’s not the only gay girl who’s basically said, “maybe if it was with you” before trying to sleep with me (that’s actually exactly why I came to the conclusion I did about my best friend... because I saw the same desperation and sense of longing for normalcy that I’d seen in other gay girls’ eyes).

I’m a guy that’s nice, but my years of having basically no spine, of being cripplingly socially anxious, of depression and self deprecation made it so when I decided to change, when I decided to become someone who was more, I forged a rock solid spine, because I knew exactly where I came from, and knew exactly how much progress I made through my own hard efforts, and it became something that was more or less unshakable and not something I take for granted.

I’m nice, but I’m not a floormat. I respect people, and I do things for others when I can, but I do it because it speaks towards the kind of person I want to be in my own mind, not because I want other people to see me a certain way or feel indebted to me or whatever.

And in my experience, a perk of being like that is that people respond to that positively. People like being around people that have an easy confidence, and people like being around people that are nice to them. So best of both worlds.

Nice doesn’t have to be a bad thing. “Nice Guy™ However... they typically aren’t really genuine with their intentions and they’re not necessarily related at all.
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WOMEN
Is there a place in your body that holds your seminal fluids, or does it just kinda leak out the pores of your vagina? I'm a bit confused about the anatomy of female wetness, enlighten me
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>>19015214
large thighs are hot and a nice butt is cool too. my boyfriend has both i'm into it
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>>19015250
be open about your preferences. girls aren't as vanilla as we're made out to me. my bf likes to be bitten/scratched/bruised and i'm on board with it. roughness in the bedroom isn't an abnormal kink at all, if you're open about it with your partners you probably won't have much issue finding someone to engage in that stuff with.
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>>19015339
makes absolutely no difference to me, it's not something a woman is likely to care about or even acknowledge as unconventional
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>>19015458
i second this. true friendship involves love and care and consideration. their needs, mood, situation etc should be really important to you and vice versa. the love i have for my friends is as intense as my love for my boyfriend
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>>19015442
it's a pretty general interest nowadays so it's not that shocking to mention and if video games are important to you then mentioning it on any dating profile is a good idea. you'll likely attract women who also share that interest.
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>>19015545
it's really important if you want to be approachable and come off as friendly to strangers/ people who don't know you well personally
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>>19015648
i like sweaters, collared shirts, straight leg dark trousers, nice shoes. just a nice clean look. I think it's important to look as if you're trying since I always make a big effort to look glamorous. I always say dress as if you have somewhere to be.

i HATE graphic tees, blue jeans, ugly trainers, zip-up hoodies. anything reminiscent of 12 year old boys.
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>>19015797
i think it comes from the uterus as it comes from the same "hole" as period blood, babies and also where you stick your dick

if you have any other questions about different types of vaginal discharge and what they indicate, please let me know
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>>19015836
I'm not that guy, but I'm still trying to figure out what the white stuff is. It's thick, very white, and usually covers my dick when she was really enjoying herself. I guess it's not the lubricant type of fluid, because that does not have color. As I understand depending on the girl it can out right leak out, flow even, like pre cum, while other girls don't produce that much.

And if I understand correctly squirting is basically just pissing, because from pleasure she just loses control.
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I asked a girl out and she said yes but when it came to arranging a time she started avoiding me. What the fuck is that? What should I do?
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I'm dating 3 girls at the moment, one is top qt and really sweet and innocent, the other 2 are more fun though and hotter.

At what point do I need to decide who to date exclusively, I have yet to sleep with any of them.
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Signs she's cheating/ready to break up?
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>>19015862
I hope so
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>>19015550
Because women are better at memorising and more artistic subjects while men are better at calculating. Of course there are exceptions, this is only a general rule

t. Girl that loves physics, programming and maths
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>>19015648
Pic related
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>>19015861
After first kiss, you decide
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>>19015858
I'm yet another anon.
From what I know
-there are tons of different fluids secreted by both male and female organs.
-composition of female fluid varies depending on the day of the cycle causing the fluid to change gradually between very thick and pretty watery. Perhaps the thick version could change color when it's hit repeatedly, just as the white of the egg does. This would go in pair with the fact, that women enjoy sex more on the fertile part of the cycle.
-squirting isn't the same as pissing and does not come directly from the urethra. there are many micro holes surrounding urethral opening, which secrete the squirting fluid.
It has some ingredients of piss, but it lack some and has some that the piss does not. So it's not the loss of bladder control.
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>>19015858
most vaginal discharge is to do with the woman's menstrual cycle. the thick white stuff comes out of our vaginas at the beginning of our cycle (once our period has ended) and at the end of our cycle (before our next period). Vaginas are almost always leaking regardless of arousal because they are self-cleaning

the thin clear mucus stuff occurs during ovulation and is also the "wetness" of arousal.
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>>19015861
If one of them wants to get more serious, and she is not the one you like the most, and still not ready for a decision, just tell her. If she's okay with it, keep on with your harem. If not, then let her go. Keep on this until one remains.

Or just make up your mind, pick one and tell the rest you are not interested anymore.

How to pick one? Depends. Do you think long term? Pick the kindest, most caring, the one who you share the same values. Really. After a while you will want nothing else from women than kindness. Pick the one which won't make your life a living hell.

If you think short term, pick the hottest and the one who shares the same fetishes and kinks as you, and enjoy them until you are still young.
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Is any of you actually able to control how warm you are toward any specific person? Or is it just beyond the control of your will?
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where is the best place to practice small talk with girls?
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>>19015877

All three things you mentioned have less calculation and are more artistic than biology, generally.

t. guy who loves art
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>>19015898
Yes. I can be really sweet even if I want to kill them more and more with every word they say.

>>19015899
Social gatherings
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>girlfriend found out im a racist and had a fit about it
>she is very liberal and pro immigration etc.
>she now makes very passive aggressive comments about black guys
>all day long
>"oh today i'll take my coffee BLACK"
>"do black guys make you insecure?"
>"should i paint my nails red or BLACK"
what is happening, this shit pisses me off to no end, how do i make it stop
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>>19015898
i'm known as either super cold and blunt or inconceivably sweet and thoughtful

i have different reactions towards different types of people, it depends on how i perceive the other person.
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>>19015901
>Literal subjects based on calculation and logic have less calculation than subject based on memorising with a little of calculation
I can see why you love art.
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>>19015907
Do the same thing but using white. For example:
>I love WHITE chocolate
>You look so WHITE, did something scare you?
>I love my coffee with a lot of milk
>Do WHITE people make blacks intimidated?
>Your teeth are so WHITE
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>>19015906
being sweet on the outside is irrelevant.
I'm specifically asking about your own, personal, actual feelings toward another person, not your deceptions.

>>19015908
I take it as a no to my question then
>>
What do women do all day, outside of stuff like work and chores that everyone does?

Obviously this is a massively generalisation, but most men I know at least one of do four basic things: have male-heavy hobbies like programming/cars/gaming, play or watch sport, reading fantasy/scifi/non-fiction, and drink together. What would a similar list for women look like?
>>
>>19015915
Then no. There are types of people I immediately hate and I can't change it
>>
>>19015915
basically yes. I mean it's easy to feign being sweet if I have to but generally speaking it's just a natural reaction.
>>
>>19015913
that won't work because she doesn't hate white people and she is white herself. she only does it because she knows i hate black people and it pisses her off.
>>
i still love the girl from bennington
her eyes :3
>>
>>19015910
>Literal subjects based on calculation and logic have less calculation than subject based on memorising with a little of calculation

Yes, if you graduated high school. For decent students, calculations in these topics are too elementary, while logic is basically a lost art because not many use it fluently, even the most basic stuffs like propositional logic. The only people who associate math/programming with "calculating something" are either high school student or at equivalent level of mental maturity.
>>
>>19015922
Then talk about it negatively, like:
>You have something BLACK on your teeth, let me take it out
>This food is BLACK, it looks ruined
>I don't like this BLACK thing
>This is too DARK
>>
>>19015917
i'm an artist so I fill up almost all my time with working on my artwork and projects I don't have any other hobbies and I rarely socialize. I struggle to do self-indulgent things like video games or binge watching shows because they're ultimately unproductive

all my friends and all other women I know literally just go to work/school and watch netflix/youtube and socialise. generic female activities are make-up and netflix/youtube and i guess partying
>>
>>19015920
>>19015921
I was thinking more of becoming warmer for completely neutral people.
thanks for the answers
>>
>>19015927
Uh, you need both logic, calculation and skills, especially in physics. Maths doesn't need that much of calculation, the same as programming as they both need a lot more of pure logic itself with programming also needing to memorise stuff.

Biology will never be on this level.
>>
>>19015917
I work out, read, watch sports/tv shows, write, and teach my native language online. I enjoy hiking and travelling too, and sail.
I go out for drinks sometimes, I like hosting dinners/cooking.
>>
>>19015928
what is she replies with something like
>I like it BLACK sometimes
>BLACKER is better
Then im btfo
>>
>>19015934
Then tell her
>Yeah, I know you LOVE everything that is BLACK
Smiling at her, she will know you tell her she is a BBC whore. Then break up with her after a day and tell her that if she loves black so much, she should find a nigger for herself.

The point is, that if she gets passive aggressive about it, she is immature and not worth it, she will act like this more and more over time. So if you won't shut her up with doing the opposite, it's better to leave her bitchy ass
>>
>>19015927
>The only people who associate math/programming with "calculating something" are either high school student or at equivalent level of mental maturity.
You're flat-out wrong. I know power systems engineers, applied mathematicians, and programmers, and all of them would describe their field as heavily involving logic, reasoning, calculation, and numbers.

If you're talking about e.g. bioinformatics or computation biology or biochemistry or something, then it's basically the same thing, but undergrad biology isn't like that.
>>
>>19015933
>work out
you go to the gym and take selfies woW!
make sure to show chad your ass in yoga pants while youre "squatting" 40 lbs!
>read
good depending on what you read
>watch roided black men play sports
whore
>watch tv shows
pleb
>write
probably love letters to chad, bitch
>teach language
only one step above literal prostitution
>hiking
ye, hiking a ride onto chad's dick
>travelling
to chad's house
>sail
lol granpa
>go out for drinks
you go out to meet chad for a pump and dump
>hosting dinner / cooking for chad
yeah yeah, we know already
>>
>>19015938
Yeah, I really like her which is what sucks. I'm sure if I put up with it any longer it will transform into taunting about sexual stuff like penis size etc.
>>
>>19015948
It will. That's why you should show her that you ain't having any of her bullshit
>>
>>19015943
>tfw virgin
Oh, well.
>>
>>19015951
be my gf
>>
>>19015943
go back to /r9k/
>>
>>19015950
w-what if i secretly kind of like it?
>>
>>19015932
If you're saying one third of biology is memorizing, and one third is calculation and the rest is scientific method, then I can guarantee calculation is less than 1 tenth of physics.

>>19015940
Those guys you know are aware that plugging numbers into formulas is a very trivial part, they would say so if they talk to someone at their level.
>>
>>19015862
Bump

>>19015871
She started mentioning another guy and I am super suspicious.
>>
>>19015862
Oh that's my post.
>>
I like my girlfriend. I enjoy her company, spending time with her, and being intimate. The relationship seems good. But I don't love her. What do?
>>
>>19015960
You should kill yourself.
>>
This girl I like only answers my messages in the morning. She always write back when I write her, but always the day after about 0800. She is flirtatious and kind when we meet up, and her messages are not dismissive or short.

What's up with her. Is she doing some kind of mind game? Just busy? Halp.
>>
>>19015977
k will do
>>
>>19015975
Just keep it up. Love does not work the same way is it does in movies and novels. It takes time to evolve. Don't rush anything. Just go with the flow. And frankly, do not give a shit about how you call it. If you are happy with her, there's nothing more you can ask for.
>>
>>19015975
What is love for you? Remember that love and infatuation is not the same.
>>
>>19015979
It will sound crazy, but, have you considered that maybe you should just ask her?
>>
>>19015982
I feel like I could easily leave her for the first crush that comes along.
>>
>>19015892
>>19015886
Thanks!
>>
>>19015983
Peopel keep saying that. But I'm not sure I entirely believe it. If I'm forced to make a distinction, I'd say love is a maturation of infatuation.
>>
Should I date a freshmen girl thats hitting had on me in college?

Experience is saying no as it only leads to drama in the long run.
But my dick is saying yes.
>>
>>19015984
I properly should. But she is in a relationship. And I'm afraid of rocking the boat.
>>
>>19016000
>my dick and brain disagree, so I'll ask virgin anons for the third opinion
>>
My penis is not responding to stimuli
at all
what the fuck
>>
>>19016006
every person has a limit of orgasm they can have in their lives.
you must have reached yours already.
Hope you liked fapping so much
>>
>>19016008
Can buy more orgasms?
>>
>>19016016
no, but you can learn one weird trick
>>
>>19016018
Do doctors hate it?
>>
>>19016019
doctors and priests alike.
and to think it was discovered by a simple local dad!
>>
>>19016001
Her man is probably watching her and she's unable to answer you properly at certain times of the day.

For the ladies please:
Can a tap/rub on the shoulder ever be a way of flirting? I've a colleague who did it to me today (I'm hungover as fuck and it was kind of sympathetic/hang in there) and normally that'd mean nothing, but she never, ever makes bodily contact with anyone else in the office and seems to avoid it. She was doing the whole hair twiddling thing the other day too.
>>
>>19016022
For three small payments of $500000?! This sounds almost too good to be true!
>>
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>Go on /r/asiansgowild
>Everytime, literally everytime a girl has a vid or pics with a guy it's a white dude.

What the fuck is up with that white lust? I thought it was just shitposting.
>>
>>19016023
>Can a tap/rub on the shoulder ever be a way of flirting?
I'm a guy, but from personal experience: most definitely.
>>
>>19016026
I'm assuming you're an Asian male? Sorry kiddo, whites are just more attractive by far than any other race. And statistically Asian men are considered less desirable than even niggers.
>>
>>19016028
No, I'm not. I'm just wondering why it's ALWAYS a white guy. How can you get mad at "yellow fever" then turn and do the same thing?
>>
>>19016031
You have a choice between weak asian men or glorious white men, obviously you go with the white men. I would never have a nonwhite bf.
>>
>>19016032
What about literally anyone else?
>>
>>19016027
Thanks Anon. I would like a second opinion from a grill if possible too.
>>
>>19016026
have you ever took a second to ponder what kind of asians uses to visit an english speaking website?
have you ever thought if there might possibly be some websites WHOLLY IN AN ASIAN LANGUAGE?
>>
>>19016035
whites>anyone else
>>
>>19016037
The hell are you even saying? 4chan is primarily american, there are tons of westernized asians.
>>
>>19016044
and westernized asians are interested in white men.
while non-westernized asians are interested in yellow men
you are fucking dense, you know
>>
>>19016044
That's exactly what anon is saying. The sample population sample is biased.
>>
>>19016045
>and westernized asians are interested in white men.
I know this. I'm asking why they cry about yellow fever then turn and do the exact same thing.
>>
>>19016044
I thought asians were supposed to be smart
>>
>>19016050
>I'm asking why they cry about yellow fever then turn and do the exact same thing.
what
where in the OP do you say anything like that?
>>
>>19016028
>Asian men are considered less desirable than even niggers

Isn't this statistics from some US dating website? girls from US love black guys
>>
>>19016050
because they are too tight for huge nigero schlong
>>
>>19016055
>girls from US love black guys

That's wrong.
>>
>>19016055
>us girls love black guys
LMAO get off the internet, its ruining you
>>
>>19016055
t. jamal
>>
>>19016059
Black men dating white women is mainly in the US, I haven't seen it elsewhere.
>>
>>19016063
its still very very rare. only the absolute bottom tier trash white women would ever even look at a black guy
>>
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>Have sex with girl I don't like because horny virgin
>She texts me again a month later
>figure why not
>Have sex with her again
>She vents about all her past boyfriends, starts talking about wanting something more, says she wants to "see where this goes"
I pretty much told her on the spot she better start looking for someone else.
But, if she texts me again, how do I let her down gently? Or is it better to ghost?
>Pic related, it's me
>>
>>19015971
What does
>you're not like other women
mean?

Can't understand what's wrong here besides creating an ideal out of nowhere.
>>
>>19016059
>>19016060
hello virgin white boiiis
what questions do you have for 4chan girls today
>>
>>19016063
I see lots of BM/AF when I go to anime conventions, but generally you are wrong. We typically are not desirable.
>>
>>19015962
Firstly, I never said anything about ⅓s.

Secondly, I am from family if physicists, so I know how it looks like, I'm not having any of your bullshit
>>
>>19016070
Why do you think I'm white?
>>
>>19016070
you are either
1. a triggered black man
2. a triggered coal burner
3. a troll
>>
>>19016072
Thought you're from a family of mathematicians?
>>
>>19016066
Just tell her you're not after a serious relationship.
>>
>>19016055
Anon was never around US girls confirmed.
>>
>>19016075
I don't know who you are so I believe you are confusing me with someone else.
>>
>>19016071
>BM/AF
now that's what I call a rarity, maybe because I don't know the weeb population
>>
>>19016071
I go on shitload of conventions and I literally never saw this shit. It's even rarer than normal white women who date non-whites
>>
>>19016077
lol didn't know this triggered so many people, just what I see from fb couples, probably I shouldn't mention it here. You guys aren't exactly socially active.
>>
Girls, which one would you prefer: a smallish dicked guy who compensates a lot with self improvement and hobbies and grooming and fake it til you make it, or a well endowed guy who doesn’t compensate and doesn’t think about himself too much?

Or do those stuffs not matter at all to you?
>>
>>19016083
Yeah it's pretty contained I guess

>>19016090
I hear you beginning to foam at the mouth from here. Maybe since I only go to ones in NYC that has an impact.
>>
>>19016091
I am really socially active and even though there are more than in Europe, it's still really uncommon
>>
>>19016091
Nothing riles up the average 4channer more than having good words about blacks.
>>
>>19016093
I think it's the sound of rice cooker, you got confused.

Probably it does

>>19016097
>implying that there is anything good about them
>>
/pol/ please leave
>>
>>19016081
lol shuure, Polish girl
>>
>>19016092
the former is more appealing for sure. I'm personally not concerned with dick size at all though as long as it can get hard and it's not a micropenis
>>
>>19016107
Googled it. No results except of 2006 definition in urban dictionary.

>>19016106
>everyone who doesn't love blacks goes on /Pol/
Sure lad
>>
>>19016116
>everyone who doesn't love blacks goes on /Pol/
>Sure lad
I meant this has gone way off topic for this thread and is only shitting up the discussion.
>>
>>19016116
You literally started screeching the moment someone had ONE positive thing to say about them. How did this even come up?
>>
When you first started dating someone how often did you text each other?

I ask because I have this girl who is basically making it a day-to-day thing and I don't think we'll last long if we keep this up. Especially since our first date is next fuckin' week.
>>
>>19016126
that positive thing was
>white women love black men in the us
you fucking moron. it wasn't "one" thing, it was race baiting propaganda and you know it. it's also demonstrably false
>>
>>19016133
Oh yeah, Fine. Still though, there's levels to this shit, and you're beyond overreacting.
>>
>>19016135
are you even white?
>>
>>19016132
>When you first started dating someone how often did you text each other?
Every day. It's not that weird and she's clearly quite into you.

You should maybe tell her if you're uncomfortable with this, but she will probably interpret this as you not being interested in a relationship, so be careful about what you decide.
>>
>>19016140
What's it matter? Yes, No? Does it matter which one I tell you, your mind will form an image regardless.
>>
>>19016133
No, it's just an observation. You should probably spend more time in the real world
>>
>>19016144
So no? Thought so.
>>19016145
I live in the real world in the country you're referring to. It's not common, at all.
>>
>/adv/ - Advice
>>
>>19016148
>I live in the marshes Alabama, I speak for all of the US now
>>
>>19016126
You started bullshitting that US women like BBC and you now act like it was a little nice thing about a black?

>>19016145
My job is about spending time meeting new people and seeing new places. BBC lovers are as rare as Koreans without plastic surgery
>>
>>19016151
>You started bullshitting that US women like BBC and you now act like it was a little nice thing about a black?

I didn't post that you stupid clown.
>>
>>19016151
>My job is about spending time meeting new people and seeing new places

So is mine. The white women I met who date black men aren't BBC lovers, lol I still doubt you actually meet "people".
>>
>>19016150
I live in California, one of the most liberal states in the entire country and it's still rare here.
>>
>>19016151
Why do you argue in extremes? "BBC lover" you argue like a high schooler who think's he's smarter than he actually is.
>>
>>19016156
>you stupid clown
Kek, frustration and insecurities start to come out

>>19016158
>This is your job? ACTUALLY this is my job too!!!!
You didn't even try to sound believable
>>
>>19016164
>frustration and insecurities
Not really. You've got quite the ego dude.
>>
>>19016163
>not knowing what exaggeration is
>>
>>19016149
ikr
how is that we have no hitler today and it'sworse instead of better?
>>
>>19016055
Actually yes, in comparison with other non white races, because there are a lot of black people here, so it's easier to get your standard aligned with the men you see more often. Like if you are into K pop you are more likely to be into Korean dudes with gay look. So yes that explains the data from the website.
>>
>>19016168
Smart people know the time and place for hyperbole.
>>
>>19016166
Well, visibly your is too small looking at your posts

>>19016149
>>19016169
>starts talking about blacks
>OMG WHY ARE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THEM?????

>>19016171
Visibly you are not one of them
>>
>being this ass ravaged that white women don't find you attractive
sad desu
>>
>>19016169
hitler only uses his trips to build a certain image of himself. He takes it off to says other stupid things.
>>
>>19016164
>>This is your job? ACTUALLY this is my job too!!!!
why are you quoting yourself? there's only the claim that you go to places and meet people (doubtful) lol that's like a lot of jobs's description.
>>
>>19016183
>why are you quoting yourself?
That was the most 2010 comeback I have seen in a while.

Sure sure, I bet you also travel all around the world and meet every couple and every girl tells you she dates black people.
>>
>>19016174
That describes only half of adv and all of r9k
>>
>>19016193
sry lol I don't spend that much time on 4chan
>>
>>19016195
I was talking about the cuck in here who believes all white women date black men. try and follow along now ok buddy?
>>
>>19016199
Sure. I believe you.
>>
>>19016195
White nerds get angrier at asian girls being into blacks. Easiest way to fuck with /r9k/ ever.
>>
>>19016204
No one said anything about "all" though, you argue in extremes like this dumbass >>19016193
>>
>>19016222
>being this upset
>>
>>19016092
Size isn't a big deal. (Source: http://moderntantra.blogspot.nl/p/penis-size.html?zx=ccc44a1b2876942a) It is a very concrete thing for men to fight out which one of them is the toughest or the most macho or whatever, but the average range of size isn't average because it doesn't get the job of pleasing a woman done right. A big dick actually is likely to cause discomfort (needs more foreplay, can go less deep, it can limit positions, it is no fun for oral) and even a 7" dick is A LOT more rare irl than online. Most men are around 5" and that's perfectly fine.

I don't want to date a guy (whether he's 4" or 7") who feels like he has to "compensate" for being born the way he was. No one is perfect and the specifics of the dick are trivial in the grand scheme of how fulfilling sex is, all the more when you are pro-active about influencing the sex to match your preferences. It is telling that women go for a vibrator and not a dildo they thrust in and out when they buy sex toys solely for the sake of giving themselves an orgasm. When I think of hot, arousing sex I don't think about a particular size penis. I think about a man grabbing me hungrily, being noisy and letting his guard down, panting and talking dirty to me, enjoying my whole body and relishing in the attention I give him. In comparison whether he's 4" or 5" or 6" is trivial as fuck. If a man is not a good lover I don't want to fuck him period, he can keep whatever dick he has to himself.
>>
>>19016228
Is that like an automated reply when you don't actually have anything to say?
>>
>>19016204
>reading more than 2 posts in "girls pls answer my question" desperate virgin the thread

tata
>>
>>19016222
it actually is an extreme, but in the other direction. the vast majority of white women do not date black men.
>>
>>19016234
Ok, boi.
>>
>>19016236
Ok tyrone
>>
>>19016230
How does it feel to be this edgy?
>>
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>>19016236
>>
>>19016262
How was that edgy?
>>
>>19016273
>"U-Uh I don't like what you said and it's too close to truth so I will tell you that you automatically reply with that everytime you have nothing to say to show you how cool and smart I am"
You are not fooling anyone
>>
>>19016267
Post more of these images kek it's fun to read what you nerds tell yourself
>>
why can't the motherfucking janny do their motherfucking job
>>
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>>19016295
>Post more of these images kek it's fun to read what you nerds tell yourself
>>
>talking to acquaintance
>she mentions her bf
>tfw I wanted her
Getting her number just to chat would be a bad idea, wouldn't it? I'd be friendzoning myself to death.
>>
>>19016314
ye
move on
>>
>>19016314
She mentioned her boyfriend for a reason
>>
>>19016312
brb fuking my white gf
>>
can we stop feeding the cucks free (you)s pls
>>
>>19016350
literally >>19016267 all over again
>>
She said she was busy for over a week. How do I go more than a week without seeing her? How do I make sure not to cheat in that time since the "relationship" is just starting to grow?
>>
>>19016405
>busy
>for over a fucking week
>in the honeymoon phase of a relationship
anon...
>>
>>19016405
You don't cheat, you fuck prostitutes instead.
>>
>>19016417
>fucking prostitutes
>not cheating

Fuck off.
>>
>>19016417
It's cheating.
>>
>>19016356
try to report them.
I did already. Maybe if jannie sees more people concerned with it, they'll finally act
>>
Girls:

What would you like as a gift when you were 6 years old? I'm stumped here. I don't know anything about the kid other than age.
>>
>>19016436
vibrator
>>
>>19016436
Animal toys, tattoo makers, stuff with things I liked to watch
>>
>>19016407
I know right? It really bothers me.
>So when do we see each other again? Are you free on Friday?
>no sorry anon I'm really busy this weekend and next week as well. So probably not before Friday next week or the weekend. I'll try to find some time so we can meet on tuesday but I really can't promise anything
WTF is this shit, she seemed to be really into me. Also that wasn't the first date on anything.

>>19016417
I'm going to a degenerate party on saturday and going out for dinner with another girl on sunday. I'm also talking to some ugly girl that wants to either cuck her husband or have a MMF threesome, idk. Either way I have plenty of opportunities without needing to pay.
>>
>>19016436
It's almost twenty years ago so I'm sure that what's in fashion for kids now has changed quite a bit. However you are likely looking for a smaller gift anyway.

Personally I always like a really good, quality children's book. Ask for advice in a specialized store. Being read by her parents (or you for that matter) will be a bonding experience leaving lasting memories, fuel her imagination and understanding of the world, and greatly help her develop cognitive/verbal abilities that will prove useful in school. Be prepared to spend some cash though, they are 15-30 euros easily.

If she is not a reader at all, asking her parents is always a good idea. Fancy coloring books are a favorite among many kids who are creative and gives the parents some moments rest. I would not opt for a stuffed toy, it's always a safe option but kids tend to be really particular about which dolls/toys they find cute and endearing and which creepy or unpleasant, the chance that you will give her the toy she will want to sleep with for the next five years is slim.

If you can sing/play guitar or stuff like that, making a little song and giving her attention and making her feel like the birthday girl is also great (particularly if she misses out on this a lot at home). No sweets, it's rude without having discussed it beforehand with mom/dad.
>>
>>19016447
Forgot about puzzles. I fucking LOVED puzzles at this age. They are usually very clearly marketed towards specific age groups. I particularly loved the cubicles, where ten or so blocks can form several different scenes and you have to turn them around and match them before you can finish the picture.
>>
Ladies
Let's say you approached a guy you thought was attractive, but he spilled spaghetti everywhere and was shocked you were even talking to him. How would you react?
>>
Nearing the end of the semester. How do I approach a cute girl I see in the hallway but have never spoken to before?
>>
Been spending months with this girl, worked with her and took classes with her up until recently so I couldn't make a move until last night because of that. She tells me when I let her know how I want things

>I can only be friends with you right now, there are a lot of things I need to deal with and work on with myself, and you probably need that too. The door on something more with you isn't completely shut, but please don't hurt yourself clinging onto the hope I gave you, because that might not even happen, and you'll only feel worse.

Why can't women just let you down hard? Why does this attempting to soften the blow have to happen? I get that you probably dont want someone you're close to feel like shit, but saying things like this only worsens things. I feel I'd be much more content if she just flat out rejected me, instead of throwing me a small sliver of hope that I know I'm going to desperately hold onto. I told her this and she just didnt answer that.
>>
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>>19016436
I always get my nieces and nephews books! I love giving them nonfiction books. There is so much about the world to learn. I adore the eyewitness books. Literally any of them.
I would recommend eyewitness books at any age, because young kids will love to just look at the pictures. As they learn to read, the text is fascinating for any age. I would probably skip giving them to kids in middle school and early high school, since they're at that stage where they're trying to separate themselves from anything 'childish'. After that, though, go ahead and give them. I'd love if somebody gave me an eyewitness book now.
>>
>>19016545
diff anon,
I always fucking hated getting books.
Not really because they were books, but because nobody even knew what do I care about, so they bought them at random.
books suck as a gift.
>>
>>19016544
There's probably a spot in her heart that thinks that this may be true. Whether she's deluding herself or not, we can't know.

This is just how women were taught to be. Being direct and clear has been discouraged in women. That's why women fuss over giving the best excuse to not be able to attend an event rather than telling their friends "I'd rather sit at home and eat chips off my stomach." I've also personally encountered men who straight up won't take a direct rejection. They'll ask "Why? Why? What did I do?" and if I do tell them why, they tell me that that isn't a good enough reason and I should have given them another chance. Women, when encountering this, may want to avoid this kind of confrontation through a soft rejection.

By telling her how you feel, she's likely interpreting it as an accusation of being a liar. She might actually be having some hope of getting together with you some day. I can't really say whether or not you should have confronted her like that, as I don't like confrontation. I've been trying to work through it when it's necessary, like with directly rejecting men, but I didn't really interpret this as a situation that was necessary.
>>
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ladies.. how often do you have sex with ur bf without a condom?

just curious.. my gf have done it a handful of times without a condom but she is paranoid about getting preggers so it is not often.. she says she forgets to take her pill sometimes and that is why she gets paranoid basically?
>>
I've been talking to this girl since last year. We used to text and call each other a lot. I even gave her a few gifts. We even spent our Christmas talking to each other on the phone for like 5 hours. I thought our relationship was pretty good, until I found out a week ago that she already had a boyfriend she was dating way before we met and they're still going strong.

I know that this problem also lies on me since I really never asked her out since I was too shy. But I'm 100% sure that she knew that I liked her. Did I misinterpret her feelings? Did she really just look at me as a friend? Was I stupid to believe that she liked me romantically as well?

This was literally my first attempt on dating so I didn't know what the fuck to do. I don't get this shit.
>>
>>19016560
I figure that it's good for a kid's development to be exposed to things that they know less about. Why specialize so soon? Yeah, my nephew has always been obsessed with trucks. But why should I encourage him to become an expert in everything about trucks when he could also expand his worldview to things he didn't consider?

I don't really care if my nieces and nephews initially hate the books I give them. If they ever crack those books open, even years down the line, either out of curiosity or boredom, then I feel like I've succeeded. If they never do, whatever. That's the risk of gifts. Kids are fickle due to their continual growth. My nephew might shun trucks tomorrow. I can't know.

But, anon, you say that books are an awful gift. So what would be a good gift? I live miles away from my nieces and nephews. I honestly don't know them.
>>
>>19016610
I got an IUD because I am a space case who also is awful at taking my pill at the same time, every day, for the rest of my life. Ever since I got it, my boyfriend and I have been going without a condom. I don't get periods, so every couple of months I use a pregnancy test to assuage any paranoia.
>>
I've been getting ghosted by a lot of girls lately.

They've been acting so pumped to meet me, but then when the time comes to meet up with them they just kinda vanish off the face off the earth?

It's happening too often for me not to be the problem. Am I maybe giving off good first impressions, but over time I just come off as weird, clingy, w.e.?
>>
>>19016619
She may be completely oblivious and think that you two were just friendly, feeling only platonically. She may have been completely aware and relishing in the new relationship energy and emotionally cheating on her boyfriend. She may have felt romantically about you, but was in denial about it.

There honestly isn't really a clear line in the sand between platonic love and romantic love. You got to practice getting to know someone better, being close, and talking to a girl. That's great! It didn't work out. Bummer! It happens. It wasn't a failure. Like you said, this was your first attempt. It worked out pretty well for you in that case. You shouldn't get too wrapped up about what's going on in her head, because it isn't really your business. What's important to you is that she's unavailable to be in a relationship with you. That means it's time to move on.
>>
>>19016638
How are you communicating with them before meeting? Over tinder/text? How long do you communicate that way before meeting?

This could just be the issue of how bonding with someone in face to face conversation is completely different than online conversation. My boyfriend and I honestly are really awkward when chatting over text. In person, we are incredibly compatible.

Maybe shorten the time between your match and your first date?
>>
>>19016377
>>19016356
they keep replying because having the last word is the only win they have in life
>>
>>19016517
If I'm attracted to him then I'd most probably find it very cute and flattering at the same time.

Then again I have a thing for guys being awkward/shy so I don't know about how other girls would react.
>>
>>19016544
Not a chick, but as a dude who has talked to many women about similar subjects (that's half of why I liked dating), who has been let down the "soft way" an experienced how much it sucks and how confusing it can be, and who has even myself also been on the other side.

It's because this shit is awkward. On both ends.

I started dating pretty late in life, so one of the inadvertent things that happened was that when I started getting attention, I started feeling really good about that attention., and that would make me do or say things that I wasn't aware that I was doing, and that would lead to situations.

And... When that would happen, I'd be really confused and would inevitably feel guilty as fuck because it sucked that I just didn't feel the same way for them, and it felt really bad for me to admit to them that that was true, because I otherwise thought they were genuinely decent people.

But eventually I noticed the pattern. The common denominator is me. I was the one acting more flirty than I should have. and it made me feel guilty, because, having been rejected, I felt genuinely empathetic and I wanted to help protect them from the pain I was about to inflict on them.

I beat myself up a bit at first, but I soon started to realize: That may be true, there are things I have to do to tone things down, but also, I'm overstepping. They need to learn to deal with this the same way I'm learning to deal with this right now. I needed to respect them enough to not coddle them even though my urge was to do exactly that.

TL;DR: Letting down someone "hard" feels awkward, counter-intuitive, cold/unempathetic as fuck, and painful. Rejecting someone is a double edged blade, so comparatively, it's way easier to try to go the "soft" way so it doesn't hurt back as much.

Also, some people flip the fuck out on getting rejected "hard". As a guy, I can laugh it off. As a women... that's not always true when a dudes got half a hundred pounds and several inches on you.
>>
How do I stay confident? I'm 25 and decided to stop dating at 18. Started to get back into it this year and had some success, but I was constantly travelling and never able to go on more than a few dates.

Now I'm settled in a new city for the next year at least. I've met some girls, but I'm just frustrated when things fall through and that I don't already have a girlfriend. Really just looking for a long term relationship. When I get rejected or things go too slow with a girl I still get voices in my head saying I'm not dateable, unattractive, etc. I know this isn't logically true because I already attracted some really quality women earlier this year. But starting again after seven years is leaving me confused and not altogether confident.

Any advice?
>>
Is it okay to be vanilla/have no fetishes?
>>
>>19016587
I got very emotional and scared as the conversation and basically told her "I can't stick around with you if this Will never go where I want it to". I know she has abandonment issues and I'm sure what I said really hurt her. I have a long text waiting to send that basically says I was scared and don't mean that, but we do need time to figure the future apart. Should I send it?
>>
>>19016517

As a dude who has spilled spaghetti (I still kind of cringe remembering the crazy shit I did and said. I literally knew I was being crazy, but just couldn't help myself) , and had girls spill spaghetti on him before (I once went on a casual coffee date with a random girl... and we had an unexpectedly great time... but the next day she sent me a text telling me that she didn't know if it was a good idea to keep seeing me because she could tell she was falling in love with me, but she couldn't date me because she couldn't marry me because I wasn't of her religion...)

Spaghetti spills NEVER help, because they put you in a very particular mindset that is overly-one sided.

Even IF the person responds positively (my first kiss was off a spaghetti spill) it basically stacks the deck to a degree that the other person just has no way to keep up. It imbalances things in a way that makes getting to an even place near impossible because of the overwhelming nature of what's already happened.

It's fair to absolutely no one and there is no appropriate response

Way better is to just take things one step at a time and build up things together and give the other person time and space to figure out how they feel about you, without having some weird expectation/fantasy that they have to catch and live up to.
>>19016610
>she says she forgets to take her pill sometimes and that is why she gets paranoid basically?

If she's already on the pill, maybe consider an implant? My girl's has had one for the last three years, pretty happy with it (though she admits it killed her sex drive a bit. I remember we were a lot more active before she got it, but I don't mind too much desu, better than before since condoms always gave her UTIs)
>>
Girls if a guy is pursuing you and you went into his room (it's a single dorm room) and noticed some used condoms in the trash can, bad or no big deal?
>>
>>19016623
well, my reasoning is this:
if you give a kid something they come to dislike (because they consider that particular book damn boring), they'll learn to avoid other similar things as well.
If you give them a couple of books about bullshit (or badly written), they'll learn that all books are terrible and one should just ignore them in their life.
Thus I consider it way more beneficial to give children stuff they actually want.

As to what might be a good gift - it would be something simple, that springs imagination.
For example, I always secretly wanted to be given a hundred glass/metal marbles. Just it, I'd play with them a lot. Maybe a good, strong magnifying lens - I'd run all days just checking how things look. But it would do the trick only if it was so strong, that it would let me see things I have never seen with unaided eyes.
I've no idea what's good for girls, though I guess they might like the lens just as much.

The general rule of thumb is usability, if you ask me. Something that can be used in many contexts. So a knife is good (safety aside, of course), while a big plastic car is fine at most.
>>
I got an email saying the okcupid algorithm selected me as being particularly hot. I've had zero likes so I thought that was weird. Looked it up, turns out it's based on how many people click on your profile picture; mine's slightly weird so that makes sense. People click on my profile but don't like or message. Fine. But when you get that email, it starts showing you just other people who also have been selected the same way. And they're all either fat, ugly or have one-line profiles. My theory is that loads of unattractive people found out that by having an interesting picture, they can get into the "hot" zone and get shown/shown to more attractive other people. It's a loophole and it's been overexploited so badly they've poisoned the well.
Anyway I think that's hilarious.
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>>19016692
no way.
become trap lover right nao
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>>19016692
Long answer depends on your partner.

Short answer is yes.
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>>19016692
I mean, I guess. You're just missing out, disappointing potential partners, and possibly repressing your own sexual tastes.

Might be able to get by well enough if you're a top tier lay, have a strong libido, are moderately open minded, etc., but a vanilla partner would be a huge let down to me, personally. And if they're prudish, there's no way in hell. I'd have to believe with my entire heart that they're my best friend and soulmate or else I'mma drop them, hit up my fwb and do some disturbingly kinky shit.
>>
File deleted.
I (F) made an okCupid profile and finally put my photos up a few hours ago.

1. Why are dudes so bad at opening lines? I swear, 75% of first messages are either "hey" or "you're beautiful" and equivalents, or fedorashit. I have a nice profile that I invested quite a bit of time in to say a lot about myself in few words. I hate opening the inbox and having to wade through garbage messages.

2. Am I supposed to respond to all of these, even if it's just to say no thanks?

3. Why do men with <60% match message me even though I want long-term only? What's the fucking point?
>>
>>19016760
You can just ignore those. Please don't ignore the ones where they actually put effort into the messages though, it's incredibly depressing to spend time on it then get totally blanked over and over again.
I get annoyed when I see girls saying 'Don't message if you're just going to say hi or how are you' because fuck you, you're not going to reply even if I make an effort.
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>>19016760
um, what wrong with 'hey'?
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>>19016692
It's okay. It's your body and your intimacy, there is no right way to have it, you just need to be comfortable with yourself
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>>19016711
Big deal, unless you wear condoms to masturbation
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>>19016760
No you don't have to reply them all. Especially not the ones who have to say inappropriate shit.
Focus on the ones that you feel have put in effort, take a look at their profiles and answer the ones that you think might be an actual match.
You WILL piss some people off, but after all, you don't owe them anything and you have other stuff to do with your free time than appologize to 5839297 people on okc for not being interested in them.
>>
>>19016760
What would be an appropriate opener? For science.
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>>19016772
Noted.

>>19016788
Well, it's not a bad conversation starter necessarily because I could easily fire back "hi, what's up" and get to chatting that way, but it seems half-hearted and incredibly low-effort. It's like they didn't even skim my profile.
>>
>>19016818
Not that femanon, but something that shows that you actually took the time to look trough her profile and are interested in HER specifically and not just send out generic openers to a million girls per day.
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>>19016819
>but it seems half-hearted and incredibly low-effort
well, for me it would seem just too much if I wrote a girl a lot of text about her profile. LIke, smothering her somehow.
First, I want to know if she even likes my own profile, which she confirms by responding. Only then I can start an actual conversation.
>>
>>19016819
>It's like they didn't even skim my profile.
Did you read theirs?
I'm feeling quite bitter about this at the moment but you could try ignoring everyone who messages you first and instead look for guys who seem right and message them first.
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>>19016677
So I probably shouldn't try to leave the situation out of embarrassment if I spaghetti on a gitl who approaches me then?
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Why is it so hard to get a gf as an average guy? Do I really have to settle for some Chad's leftovers in the Future?
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>>19016658
Yeah mostly meeting them online thru tinder and stuff usually making plans within a few days of talking.

The issue is that doesn't explain why they can't at least give me a "hey anon we can't meet up today"
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>>19016839
>leftovers
This. This is why it's so hard for you to get a gf.
>>
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Guys:
Does it hurt your feels when a girl doesn't swallow or brushes her teeth after giving you a bj? Iow, does it make you feel disgusting?
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>>19016839
>settle
>chad
>leftover

You feel for the memes and now you're paying for it
>>
>>19016844
>>19016852
Hit a nerve, eh?
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>>19016856
>t.i only came her to get my opinions validated, not for actual advice
>>
>>19016760

As a dude who is nearly three years deep in to a relationship started off OKC:

1.) As someone who *DID* spend a lot of time reading profiles (most don't) and always tried to make his messages be relevant and something worth responding to: I wasted a fuck load of time.

I'm decent looking, charming, have never really been turned down for a second date when I've asked, but in my experience, the numbers for me went something like:

Browse 50 profiles.
message 20 girls
Get responses back from 8 of them.
Find 3 of them worth having a basic conversation with
Go on a date with 1 of them.

I would spend probably 2-15 minutes reading each profile + writing a message, so if I looked at 50 girls a week, that's like a min of 100 minutes. And of that, 30 of them (2 minutes each for hour total) would be flat out wasted. And of the girls I did message, 12 of them wouldn't respond back to me, so that's probably 120 minutes of my life wasted (Girls I messaged I spent more time on. prob 10+ minutes a person)

And to be honest, sometimes it'd hurt a little when I'd write something that I thought was insightful, only to not ever hear anything back.

So for every 50 girls, that would basically be 3 hours of my life invested that basically netted 0 return. Not even a polite "hello" back. And that's kind of fucking dejecting.

And keep in mind. I'm one of the "successful" guys that has been on dozens of dates and entered a long term relationship from it.

Once I realized I was investing too much and eased off a bit, that's when I started feeling better about it all.

2.) No. I understand where girls come at this too (i've seen female friends' profiles and talked to plenty of dates). Don't waste you time either.

3.) The match score isn't infallible. In fact, it's pretty fucking suspect. Some of my absolutely best dates were with some of my worst scores. My gf and I did have a higher "match score" but at this point I consider that almost more coincidence than anything.
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>>19016811
I had sex before I gathered enough courage to talk to my crush. What can I do to salvage this situation
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>>19016868
Say that it was from masturbation
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>>19016897
people masturbate with condom?
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>>19016912
Some do
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>>19016711
Bad unless I'm just looking for a hook up I guess.
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>>19016832
Correct. Just roll with it, maybe she finds it endearing.
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>>19016848
No. Get over it.
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>>19016175
>>19016169

he banned
>>
Is it okay to tell a girl she's looking pretty or is that creepy?
>>
Should I message this girl?

We went out twice (Day trip and Dinner after work) and she mentioned a longer trip for Jan. But neither of us are big texters.

But yea, she left work early yesterday (sick enough that she couldnt really talk)

I was thinking to message her asking how she's feeling, but also to try making plans for when she's less sickly. But IDK, as I'll see her at work Sunday, and earliest we can do something aint for a week from today
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>>19016915
Thanks for the idea, but she didn't ask about it, should I bring this up next time we talk?
>>19016920
We're still getting to know each other, I asked if she wanted to come into my room out of reflex, and she said yes. So we sat on my bed and watched a movie. She's very coy. After she glanced at the trash can I kicked it under the table (too late), we're both quiet afterwards.
>>
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Asking advice on how to support someone who is going through loss and the phase of grief thereafer.

A girl and I have been dating for about 1,5 months now and we've had 4 dates thus far, which were all great. However, she told me at the 3rd date that her dad has cancer, and that he can't really get better. Last monday she was at my place, we had dinner, and we had a good talk where we got quite personal about stuff, really had a click. Yesterday she texted me that they're going to do euthanasia next week, and that hit me like a truck. To think that she and her family have to go trough that, it makes me sick.

I have some questions:
- I told her that she needs to take all of the time that she needs and that I will be there for her if she needs me. Is this good?
- Is there anything I can do more for her? She barely checks her phone these days, and I haven't met her parents and brother either.
- What more can I do?
- I can imagine that especially during Christmas and NYE, things will get quite tough for the family. Any advice on these occasions?
- I was thinking of asking her for her home address and sending her family a condolences card after he passes away. Is this a good idea?

tl;dr
Looking for advice on how to support someone through grief and loss.

Thanks in advance.
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>>19016981
Depends entirely on the rapport you've built with the individual.
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>>19017008
Okay, so I got this fellow student and we've kinda known each other for a few years. Mostly on and off chats with coffee or messages. Nothing too great and always just spontaneous. There is a big event coming up for the faculty which will result in most people coming dressed nicely. So I was wondering if it's okay if I tell her that her dress or that she looks pretty that evening.
Mostly worried it'll come across like I'm some creep.
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>>19017040
That is a very appropriate time to do such a thing.
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>>19016986
Don't bring it up but you should mention that some guys use it for masturbation some time, it should give her an idea
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>>19017063
Thanks
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>>19016650
I see. Thanks a lot.
>>
>sometimes read books for a male online friend
>it helps him sleep and soothes him a little when he's feeling anxious
>mention it to my boyfriend
>he gets mad at me

He's fine with me having a couple of male online friends, and knows I talk to them on voice. He said I am "emotionally cheating".

I'll stop doing it because it bothers him, but is it cheating?
>>
So how do I deal with glass people or people obstinate about not changing? I'm friends with my roommates and occasionally some friction will come up. Like they'll talk about their feelings, or depression or something, and I'll just be honest with them about it. I used to be suicidally depressed as a teenager, but I got over it and haven't been depressed in seven years. I never bring the topic up myself, but when I respond to what they say it causes friction. And it honestly bothers me because they're clearly more functional than I ever was when I was depressed. Even then I just felt helpless, but I still wanted change. My roommates seem adamant about not changing and get angry at me just for sharing my experience.

I guess I just see my past self in depressed people and it's hard for me to have sympathy? But we're still friends because they're more functional than I ever was. Honestly I doubt I can ever be truly one with someone still suffering depression. It's just a barrier to how deep the friendship can develop. And I almost feel arrogant as a "survivor" of depression. Or is it just pride in how far I've come?

Any advice how to navigate this? I like my roommates, but it's a frustrating thing that comes up from time to time. When it does it's almost like I'm watching them perform a disgusting act of vice.
>>
>>19016444
All of those cases are cheating, unlike fucking a professional.
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>>19017085
This is why i can't take the phrase "emotional cheating", or the people who use it, seriously.
>>
>>19017085
Also, thell your friend to go to r/pillowtalkaudio
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>>19016987
Your concern is very kind but you've only been on four dates. This is an extremely intimate happening in her life. Yes absolutely send condolences, but otherwise don't step up in any way. As much as it sucks it's just not your place (yet), the risk that you are another stress factor to her right now isn't worth trying anything.

You can read up on grief, there's a wealth of info out there. If you do get serious down the line you will have to learn about how to support her. It will in part always be an individual case but there's some universal principles. That way you can spend your time apart from her productively.

Send them a beautiful card for Christmas, write her a sweet letter, give her a small gift. Mention something like wishing her strength but no elaborations on his death otherwise.

Best of luck to the both of you!
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>>19017117
> cheating, unlike fucking a professional.
You best be trolling.
>>
>>19017099
Try to learn to focus on pride/relief that you had the strength to do this. Whether their obstacles are real or imagined or plain old excuses, they're not living a grand life and you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps. You cannot change them, you can only change how much it impacts you that they are the way they are. These are your roommates not family members, don't invest that energy and time into something that would take a therapist half a year at least.

Every person has their own weaknesses and strengths, try not to judge too harshly especially when you don't know the entirety of someone's character. You'd like for others to give you the benefit of the doubt as well, and again it just saves you negative shit.
>>
I told a girl that I'm dating that she made me nervous and I think she took it in a bad way. Did I mess everything up?
>>
>>19017117
"It's okay to hurt people if you do it professionally, but God forbid punching someone in the face"
>>
>>19017085
>I'll stop doing it because it bothers him, but is it cheating?

This is one of those weird ones...

On the face of it... that kind of sounds somewhat innocuous

But conceptually, if you break it down what your doing is providing emotional, intimate support for a male individual that is not your boyfriend.

You are literally soothing another mans feelings and stroking his vulnerable emotions, nightly.

Which... when you frame it that way, *definitely* sounds suspect.

A good rule of thumb when it comes to cheating in general is to ask yourself the question:

Would you feel absolutely appropriate to do with this behavior/interaction WITH your partner involved?

I.E. Would you be fine, with you and your boyfriend, the both of you, reading him bedtime stories?

If you can't immediately say, "Yeah, I'd be fine with that" if you have a fraction of doubt, that means that in your gut, some part of you feels that it's wrong and risky behavior.

To put this in to perspective: I'm this anon... >>19015455

I did much worse than you did, but somehow we're both more or less OK with it, partially because we always try to stay open and be communicative of what one another wants, and also a lot more because she KNOWS that I would never consciously do anything that I would be ashamed of to tell her. The situation I describe would have still happened if she was here, I just would have tried to involve her. In fact when I stopped, I told my friend exactly that, that I couldn't do this without my girlfriend, period.

i'm not excusing myself, I still fucked up in a way I never thought I would, but the only thing that makes this somewhat ok for me, is me knowing that and the fact that my girlfriend knows that too.

And that's what a lot of relationships are:

it's two people learning to find what one another is comfortable with, learning to trust one another, and learning to respect one another.

if you've got that, if you work forward from that position, life gets easier.
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>>19017209
Girls always take everything in the worst possible way.
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>>19017153
Thanks very much for your kind words anon, really appreciate it.
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>>19017223
Not her, but I think a crucial point that you missed is that she's not SEEKING emotional intimate support from other males.

>I.E. Would you be fine, with you and your boyfriend, the both of you, reading him bedtime stories?
I really shouldn't speak for her, but I can't imagine she'd have a problem with this scenarion.
>>
>>19016983
Anyone?
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>>19017219
How is it hurting if there are no feelings and she won't know?
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>>19016848
nah I'd kinda expect it desu, not like it's strawberry yogurt. The act of giving the bj and actually having cum in her mouth shows enough love and dedication.
>>
>>19017085
How would you feel if your bf sometimes (rarely) paid a prostitute to read for him? No feelings involved, bear in mind. (Unlike your orbiter)
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>>19017244
>Not her, but I think a crucial point that you missed is that she's not SEEKING emotional intimate support from other males.

It's kind of irrelevant. I'll amend what I said, or reword it to be closer to what I mean... The test isn't about her and her wants or intentions, it's more about what's acceptable in the relationship that they have. It's about the things that they've established as acceptable.

If some part of you feels wrong about it, that's usually because what your doing is outside of the established bounds of what you *both* consider acceptable.

A relationship is always about two people, and that's why it's really hard to tell what's right and wrong in a relationship... because everyone has their own sense of what is and is not appropriate, but after being with someone long enough, and if your lines of communication are solid enough, you do start to pick up a certain sense of understanding about one another. It's just sometimes, you need to put things in a different light to remind yourself of that.

That's why you ask yourself the question, to shift your perspective and remind yourself of what the boundaries in the relationship you've both established are.

Life is all about perception. There are some couples that think that hiring hookers and "happy ending" messages are fine. But do not consider themselves swingers, as they do not interact/date/whatever with anyone that isn't paid. They consider doing that, cheating. And that's the perception of their relationship.

Bottom line: If they BOTH are ok with it, then it becomes OK. If they're not, then it's out of bounds.
>>
>When I was 16 wanted a gf more than anything, could never get one
>Now 20
>Girl I've been fucking once every few weeks "wants something more"
>This is the first time I've come close to having a girlfriend
>Tell her then and there I'm not going to see her anymore
A relationship sounds like a nightmare, I just want to spend time with my friends and have sex occasionally. I feel like i'm too old to give any huge amount of time to a woman who really can't give me anything but sex.
Am I a jackass?
>>
>>19017310
>It's okay to steal money if you don't need them and people you steal from won't notice!
>It's okay to give someone AIDS if you don't do that for sadistic pleasure and they don't notice!
>It's okay to talk shit about person if you don't hate them and they won't notice!
>It's okay to mislead people if you don't get pleasure from it and they won't notice!
You are an idiot
>>
>>19017333
>paid a prostitute
Because paying a prostitute to read for someone is the same as reading to a friend you care about.

Not that anon btw
>>
Please help me, adv

I met this girl a few weeks ago who I'm really starting to like but the first time we were about to have sex I couldn't get it up and although I know it was because of unusual external factors, such as a lot of alcohol and a general lack of sleep, it has started to make me feel anxious about the future. So much that the next time we met, which were under the exact same conditions ( drunk and tired ), it happened again.

I know it's not a physical issue since I had no problems in my previous relationships but I can't shake off the psychological aspects and the anxiety is really getting under my skin.

I know she wants to see me again but now it's starting to feel like a race against the clock and I really want it to work with her. I talked to her about it last time and told her that I just need to shrug it off and need some time.

Any advice/similar experience?

TL;DR
No problem with sex
Met this girl I really like and hooked up while drunk/tired af
Couldnt get it up first two times we met ( both times drunk/tired af )
Starting to make me feel really anxious about sex
What do?
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so this happened today

>gf has a habit of being sad, depressed (she says clinically but never got diagnosed) or stressed
>she will sometimes not talk for days, and sulk in her room
>she will sometimes get upset for no reason and really cold
>she will often ask for hugs, say she wants to die, or things of this fashion when in such states
>but she also does that when little bad things happen and she's just mad about them
>she says she can't help her state and she can't control it so saying to chill wont help

So today this happens:

>gf at uni
>got a bad grade and lost her student card, she's stressed
>says she wants to die, asks for hugs, the lot.
>I support her and say things like this happen to everyone. nothing to freak out over
>she agrees and moves on

Fast forward to tonight
>she's freaking out cause of stress
>says she wants to die, ask for hugs etc
>i tell her to chill and be stronger, because she can, and being stressed for your grades is happening to everyone

She then calls me stupid for not understanding she can't control her freak outs. Says its a depression thing and I'm actively trying to not understand. When I pointed out she has the same behavior over innane stuff like losing a card, she replied "not but that was nothing.I don't give a shit about that".

I explained to her that, faced with a same recurring behavior, I can't guess when it's "depression" or simple venting. But she wont reply anymore.

Anyway, if anyone has two cents to give me about this...
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>>19017366
>that reading comprehension
It's better, not the same.
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>>19016848
this pic rustles my jimmies so fucking much

as for the bjs, it's cool, as long as she's not spitting the sperm at me or the bed.
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>>19016959
how can you know?
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>>19017085
well, you're getting pretty intimate with that other friend.
I'd never said it's anywhere near cheating, but I can understand where that accusation comes from.
Being you, I'd tell him to fuck off.
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>>19017392
very strong emotional manipulation
btfo asap. In case you think she need any help, get a professional involved instead of doing it yourself
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>>19017161
Thanks replying. Will asleep before I could say that earlier. I'll try o think about how I can apply your advice.

Honestly it's just frustrating because I don't bring the topic up myself and I don't even say they should act in any particular way. I just share my experience and they get mad. It's like they don't like this part of my existence because it invalidates their feelings. Maybe the only answer is for me to shut up and accept we'll never be as close friends as I'd like. I know it's better to listen to process feelings than provide solutions, but that's not even what I'm doing here, and depression is something else entirely. If I asked, "ever consider using a therapist?" then many people would consider that a socially acceptable response. But that is offering a solution, which is even less than what I'm doing.

Yeah, it bothers me that sharing my own feelings and my own experience just makes these people feel bad, even though they're supposed to be my friends. If I can't share myself then I'll never be truly close to them. And I guess the only option is accepting it.
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>>19017421
Paying a sex worker is already an emotional cheating.
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I need a bit of a sanity check:
There's a girl I talk to sometimes during class, and we'd sit next to eachother if she's around and maybe talk a bit after class but not usually apart from that. It's been like this for a year now, but last time she was telling me how she wasn't happy recently with her bf and that she's feeling quite alone, but when I asked her what's up she said 'you don't care about how I feel' and was teasing me a bit.
Since then, she's only messaged me once asking about work she has missed. Other than that she hasn't come up to me at all, and I haven't seen her anywhere.
My conundrum is that I usually jump to conclusions quickly, so from that last interaction I sort of think she might like me, and so I was wondering whether to send her a message asking how she's doing and why she isn't attending lectures, which is not something I'd normally do so she would see it as odd. Is this too weird?
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What could I get my girlfriend for Christmas? She just got new furniture for her living room and a new kitchen and her family is already giving her lots of stuff for her kitchen especially, so I don't know what she already has and what not.
She also just finished her bachelor's degree.
She likes to be cozy and relaxed, she's obsessed with her cats and she kind of likes animes (but I already gave her something in that direction to her birthday).
She is 23 years old.
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>>19017497
There's always disappointment and imperfection in relationships, you just gotta keep an eye on the balance and check whether it's still worth it for you from time to time. There's also a middle road, you can tell them that it's difficult and frustrating for you to hear because you're trying to be a good empathic friend, but you feel like they're veto'ing your first-hand advice and input so that sometimes gets in the way. If they are good people they should more or less understand. Sometimes even just sharing a point of annoyance helps.

And obviously keep on the look out for more(/better) friends.
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>>19017489
I'm tempted to leave indeed.

This isnt the first time she's doing something like this either.

Last time, she freaked over a slight irregularity ina blood test and decided to take drastic decision regarding her birth control, and when i said she freaks out too much and reacts too fast she got mad and didnt talk to me for three days.
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>>19017150
I will. I just saw it, it sounds awesome.

>>19017223
I really struggle to imagine the scenario with me and my boyfriend reading for him but more for practical reasons than anything.
I wouldn't have huge problems with it, I'm not ashamed of him knowing I sometimes read for this guy or anything.
I brought it up fairly randomly, like "I am sorry if I didn't finish cleaning the bathroom, I spent two hours reading for [x] because he was having a bad panic attack".
I would read for my friend if he was in the room.

I understand it is emotional support in a way, but I don't feel like it is bad to support someone I care for?
We've been talking for almost 6 years, and we're really good friends. He supported me in many moments - including when I had night terrors, and panic attacks. Since we live in different timezones, he always offered to talk me through them if I had them at night.


>>19017333
I wouldn't mind if he paid something to do it, no. Especially online.
A prostitute - I'd mind because it's inherently sexual.

He's not my orbiter, he's married and just a friend. I have two online friends that I've known since I was a teen, one of which I meet rather regularly (with our SOs).

>>19017478
I have no problem with him telling me to stop, if it makes him uncomfortable it's okay. But, still.
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>>19017539
anyway, it's very unhealthy to do it this way. Whenever you play in her theater and let her control your emotions, you are letting her go deeper into her delusions, which inevitably worsens her mental state.
So stop it. (from what you wrote you're doing good actually, but it would be very risky to say you do not fail at all. this stuff is very hard to deal with).

Seeing a therapist yourself might help a lot. At least it helped in my, somehow similar situation.

Good luck.
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>>19017511
A cat playhouse?
A warm sweater with shit on it related to her degree?
Cool collars for her cats?
There's also some weird food for cats, like cat alcohol or something?
Or get her lingerie that makes her look like an anime character
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For other men
Is there a way to get myself to accept permanent failure?
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>>19017632
no.
you have to men up at one point.
but on the bright side, your life will start getting easier from that point.
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>>19017650
There has to be some kind of Lord Jim-esque sacrifice I can make to attone for my failures
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>>19017695
well, actually living a good life from now on is totally enough.
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Girls,
Is saying something in the last day of class like
>"Hey, i think you're cute, do you want to go on a date sometime?"
something that would make you uncomfortable? I've had a few small talk convos w this girl before.




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