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Get it off your chest.
>>
I do not appreciate you hitting me.
>>
I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE
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You're a fucking asshole and I hate being with a pathetic loser like you.
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I‘m not sure why you take so long to write back. It makes no sense. You‘re weird.

I really need to talk to you and you know i never need anybody... so this is important. Whatever
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If I'm inevitably going to get hurt by someone, I hope it's you, you moron.
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Punch ing myself in the head because I will never be the person I wish i was
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>>19141759
You shouldnmt tolerate being hit. Ever. From nobody. Not even once. Just cut them out of your life forever, no matter who they are.

>>19141762
I hope they are aware

>>19141764
Then break up. Why waste your preccious time?

>>19141773
Cute

>>19141792
It‘s not even close to too late to improve yourself
>>
>>19141796
>You shouldnmt tolerate being hit. Ever. From nobody. Not even once. Just cut them out of your life forever, no matter who they are.
My brother and I hit each other and we still get along ok.
>>
>>19141829
There‘s a difference between banter hitting and actually hitting someone.
If you two seriously hit each other because you’re angry and you‘re past the age if 12, you should overthink your life choices.
>>
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>tfw I saw my younger female cousins again after a while today, and got to spend a bit of time with them and talk with them.

God dammit I wish I could just be open about the fact that I want to spend time with them, because they are like younger sisters to me and I love them, but ever since my aunt basically implied to me that I am a pedo for wanting to spend time and stay in contact with my cousins I have been super fucking anxious about how I conduct myself around them. Especially the younger one, who turns 13 this year, breaks my fucking heart. She obviously knows that her mother disapproves of her being too affectionate towards me, like in the form of giving me hugs etc, but she still does it whenever her mother isn't around to see it. Even today, as I left, she came to hug me and I spun her around a bit, like I used to in the past. When they were younger, I gave them piggyback rides, let them sit on my lap, jumped on trampoline with them, and generally just spend a lot of time with them, and I loved every minute of it.
I still like it when the younger girl is affectionate towards me, and in no way do I try to stop her or shit like that, hell I'd love to just spend time with her and let her act all cuddly towards me like things used to be in the past. However, at the same time, there is now this nasty feeling of guilt hanging all over it, and I think she is aware of it too, given how she never initiates such contact when her mother is around to see.

I dunno what to do. I guess she will grow out of it eventually, like her sister who's few years older did. She used to basically have a crush on me and frigging kissed me once (still the only time I have been kissed by a girl), but now she is far more distant, which is hardly surprising. Such childish crushes on older relatives fade away naturally and it is good that they do.
>>
Fuck, I really need some company right now and I cannot ask for it to the very few people I actually enjoy being with. Oh, well.
>>
>>19141852
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>>19141846
>If you two seriously hit each other because you’re angry and you‘re past the age if 12, you should overthink your life choices.
What's there to overthink? He's a smarmy cunt, you fuckin git.
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>>19141852
Hey there cousin fucker, long time no see.
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why are you ghosting me :(
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>>19141881
I have never fucked anyone, let alone my cousins.
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>>19141883
Because you have ignored me for months, criticizing everything I do even when it has the kindest intentions, and you have been vanishing for days at a time without explanation. You have been cutting me out of your life so you obviously don't want me around, it hurts being around you when you act like this but I do want to spend time with you.
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>>19141891
iktfb
>>
I feel like I don't connect with anyone around me. I thought I had a bond with someone, someone who understood me, but I guess that was all a lie and could give less of a shit about me. I just want someone to love, not even a gf, just someone who knows me too well and I know everything about them, too. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so disconnected from life.
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>>19141912
I could have written this myself, every word
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>>19141905
nah wrong person
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0oIoR9mLwc
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>>19141755
This is so much harder than I expected it to be.
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>>19141912
it's because you hurt me
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>>19141978
How so?
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I was in an almost relationship and it fell apart quite badly. I kinda want to try again now though. I feel prepared now. Ready. I just don't think she'll risk the hurt again.
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>>19142020
if you don't know it then you're not my person as well
>>
I don't understand what 'beautiful' means anymore.
How do I know if something is beautiful? How do I know if something is ugly, for that matter?
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>>19141959
I still try to remain vaguely optimistic about my situation, but we'll find someone anon, I can feel it.
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>>19142036
Why does it matter?
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>>19141765
I could have written these exact words to someone else.
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>>19141883
I’m not. You are ghosting me
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>>19141968
Shame, I really want to talk to them again.
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>>19142076
Then talk to them
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I'm so pathetic it hurts. And social anxiety is killing me.
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>>19142061
What's it to you?
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>>19142098
They have disappeared again, so I can't.
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I really just wish you would talk to me.
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>>19142127
Sad. I'm in the same situation though.
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>>19142135
Open yourself up to being approached/talked to.
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I don't agree with incinerating pets when they're put down.

They're part of the family. You bury your dead. At least in my opinion, it's like a ritual to offer solace. A definitive end.
>>
No amount of indignation and social awareness will save you from a suicide bombing by those you are fighting to uplift.
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>>19142156
But... we cremate our dead.
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>>19141792
Seek therapy.
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>>19142172
Different cultures then, I can't think of cremating my dead pets. Just shove them in an oven and burn them away like they never existed. It just doesn't sit well with me.

I know, burial, "icky worms and shit eating your pet" but there's a finality to it. You can send them off properly, even if they're technically already left. It feels right to me, but if someone finds this solace in cremation then all the power to you.

Cause really, in the end, we're the ones who lost.
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You know you're hurting me, but you don't care. It all meant nothing.
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>>19142185
>but there's a finality to it
I think you're being dumb here.
There's arguably more of a finality to cremation than to burial.

> Just shove them in an oven and burn them away
>Just dump them in a hole and leave them to rot
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>>19142208
Can't say. I mean I come from a devoutly roman catholic country where human cremation isn't actually available or legal. While i don't follow the religion, it has had an effect on my upbringing, namely the ritual of burial. I can't say I disagree with it.
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>>19141792
Nobody ever becomes their personal ideal self, and those that assume so are fooled by their own arrogance. The end attainment of a goal is a means to the end of another, greater goal, infinitely, until death.

Tell the truth and act so you can tell the truth about how you act.
>>
when it comes to relationships, winter can be a cunt... both parties get depressed and when you're both empaths - it can get downright shitty REAL QUICK.

>yeah I got issues, but you got 'em too

I'm sorry that I upset you earlier, it was not my intention what-so-ever to make you feel that way. At all. I'm happy you took it in the way you did... But it doesn't change the fact that I still feel guilty.

>but one of them is how bad I need you

I hold onto things, and I hold onto them for a long time; not to use them against anyone, but because I cannot forgive myself for shit.

I do love you... and I'm glad you still love me.

Stay strong, warrior. We'll get through this together.
>>
There’s no way to get to you, huh?
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Oh fuck im the only obe who actually talked to the god damn teacher so im the only one who actually got this right and the work of all the guys around me is so damn shitty i think i might have a chance, they will make my work go from ok to the god damn best of them all

I hate this class so much
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>>19142290
No.
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>>19142221
You don't have to disagree with it, but you might do everyone the courtesy of coming up with better arguments for your post-rationaliztion.

Also, burial doesn't really make sense from a practical standpoint in an overpopulated world.
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I still can't get over this girl who rejected me over a month ago. It's just so fucking hard. She was one of the only people here I liked as a person, she was cool to talk to and laughed at my stupid jokes and was super sarcastic. I genuinely miss just talking to her. I know it would have been bad if I went the "let's just be friends" route because that's dishonest and I wouldn't have been able to see her get a boyfriend that wasn't me. At the same time I miss her as a friend, she understood me and I felt I understood her. We both hate our Uni, she's too smart for here anyway. I just really fucking don't understand why she would reject me. Maybe it's my personality, maybe I asked too quickly, maybe she wasn't even rejecting me and I misread it.

Either way the fact remains that I stopped texting her and she has never texted me since, so I guess I didn't matter that fucking much. I need to get over it but I have no fucking clue when I will ever meet a girl like her again. It's not so much her as it is that I'm completely alone now, I don't have any friends here.

Then again, I guess I didn't know her that well, maybe she's not that cool of person after all. I just hope I can find someone who I want to date again. I just want a love interest to take my mind off of how much I hate it here. I know it won't happen though. Fuck this place, maybe I should transfer.
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I want to run for my state senate, but I am not allowed to because I already work for the state and I cannot afford to quit so that I can run.
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You say you value me as a friend and want to keep contact. So why treat me this way? I have been nothing but honest and sincere in my intentions. When you broke it off I needed space. How dare you tell me you're annoyed that I haven't been messaging you. You've treated me like dirt. I'm only writing this here for the sake of our mutual friend who I want to keep contact with. At least you've opened my eyes to who you really are and what level of manipulation you're capable of.
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>>19142290
You were hesitant for far too long. Learn from your mistakes.
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>>19142432
+1

it took me so long to accept that this one girl only kept in touch with me to see if she could still manipulate me because i did not comprehend that it was a thing she would be consciously doing
just makes me feel pathetic cus i never had a reference for a healthy relationship and i wasn't meeting any girls so i clung to this girl cus she was my best chance at getting laid
life tip: if you know a girl fucks loads of dudes and talks about sex with you on the phone yet somehow never finds time to hook up with you, stop talking to her
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I fucking hate my school
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Fuck it, I haven’t even been awake for 7 hours and I’m going back to sleep. Or try. I don’t like feeling like this.
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>>19142440
You had no clue what you wanted either.
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>>19142440
the fuck does this even mean?
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>>19142547
Work on your reading comprehension. You'll have to find out the meaning of the individual words before you can string together a coherent meaning of the sentences.
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>>19142567
>pretending to be autistic and thinking yourself clever for it
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>>19142156
I agree with burying your pets but it's hard when you don't own the property.
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I think my aunt had the best idea: get creamated and have the ashes thrown into the sea.
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Is this the beginning of the end?
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>>19142704
The end of the beginning.
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>>19142490
i have hooked up with her a lot tho.
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>>19142704
Yes. Every day.
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>>19142710
Maybe. I don’t things will change but I am.
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>>19142715
That’s tortuous.
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>>19142716
Try sentences that make sense.
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Please reach out, I can't escape this mind prison without you. I cannot see a way forward from where I am at, and you talking to you has ever made me feel secure.

Honestly though what's the point, we have know each other for years and one day you just stopped caring. I have helped you through so much and the one time I need you you are MIA. I am just screaming into the void hoping for a miracle at this point, hoping you'll give a shot again so life can be stable and return to normal.
>>
when I said I cared what you though, believe it or not I do think of you as a sort of younger sibling.

so don't think to much of what's happened.

and please it really deprives me of enjoying this site like I have been over the years when you pretend to be me.
so please don't do it.
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You always make me so excited and then leave. I want you so much... more than I've ever wanted anyone. Tell me that you want me too...
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I don't really wanna get better or be part of the social world. The only reason I even consider this is to feel pleasure, to have people jerk off my ego and tell me how much of a god I am. I'm too much of a lazy fuck to work towards something great. Hell, having to work towards it is what makes it not worth it. Because I'm a huge penis man. It is your duty to stroke and worship me, and if I have to wear a condom I might as well don't be erect at all.
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Posting here because i have nowhere else to post, idk if any of you care about my drama bs, but here it is.
I grew up in a family that fights a lot, really ugly fights, my mom threatened to kill herself in dozes of occasions, my dad used to beat her and treat my brothers like trash, so even though everyone tried their best, everyone was too fucked up to have a loving healthy relationship even after our dad left.
I used to put cover my ears but i still could hear the screams, sometimes when i'm wearing headphones it's like i'm still hearing fights but when i take them off there is nothing, and when there are fights, i feel like dying.
I don't have any money/condition or actual job to help me get out and escape this damned family.
I'm pretty sure i'm depressed, i try and try to get better (exercising, studying something i want) but most of the time i just don't enjoy life and every once in a while, a fight happens, so i feel unworthy of feeling anything good, like i don't deserve being happy, i just wanna die honestly, we tried fixing, but it never works, i feel hopeless.
Sometimes i think, maybe if me and my brothers weren't born, if my mom hadn't dated my father, she would have lived a happy life.
I know she won't read this, but I'm sorry, mom, i'm a shitty angry person that also caused a lot of these fights and i just wish i hadn't caused any pain to any of you.
>>
I’m fucking terrified of driving. I don’t get how people can do it. Well maybe I do get why. It’s because they’re not as scared as me. I just don’t know how people focus on all the shit they need to when driving. I don’t have my license, I do have my temps though and my parents have taught me a few times. Each time I drive it reinforces the fact that I’m shit at it. Like I know that I won’t be the best driver my first few times but I just don't feel like I’ve improved. I get into argument about mistakes I make about driving. My parents say that’s “It’s no big deal” but it is. I don’t want to fuck up. That’s the thing. I want to do things right. I don’t want to be that person that fails the drivers test the first time. I try to talk about it with them but they just shrug it and tell me not to be scared. Like that fucking helps. You can tell someone not be scared but you’re not telling them how not to be scared. It’s shit advice. Or this stupid advice other other people have given me to not think about it. I can’t stop thinking about things. I just can’t. Where is this magical switch in my brain that I can flip to make myself stop thinking? I’d really like to know. Another shit piece of advice they tell me is to just be more positive. Being positive is bullshit. Thinking positively really won’t change the outcome. If have a more positive outlook and still fail, nothing really changes. it’s something I have to do but it’s something that I’m terrified of.
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Everyone looks forward to the weekend... I dread it.

>distructive, and abusive 3-year-old

Every week it's the same shit. My Mother is a delirious cunt who will say how we

>need to be on the same page on how we deal with him
then say shit like,
>he (the kid) won't watch TV, no phone or tablet because we need a quiet weekend
>we agree

Weekend comes...

>Sure! You can watch TV!
>Sure! You can play with my phone!

There is ZERO structure in this house.

>I am then blamed for "running off" to my room when the kid throws a tantrum
>It's apparently my fault that I can't do loud noises or screaming

These people forget that I HATE children, and apparently they feel that just because this is my little Sister's baby, that I should love him unconditionally.

>inb4 move out
I can't. I have no income, and I can't get a proper job.

>Why?
I am my Mother's (54 y/o) caregiver, and her insurance is 100% against paying for me to take care of her.

>inb4 leave the house for a while
I can't. When I try and escape to say my bedroom for some(what) quiet time, I am guilted for taking care of my myself.

The only solace I could ever get is if I admit myself to the asylum, and last time I got the help I needed, I was told "don't overreact again" by a charge nurse.

>okay.jpg
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I've been coming to these threads most every day, for a couple of years. I'm a hopeless romantic, and because of that, these threads (and letter threads) take a toll on my mental health: I easily pretend (role-play) as if my crush makes a post, so long as it's ever so slightly relevant, vague or direct, good or bad - I typically project back, assimilating in role-play. It's a tragic fate and I should have stopped a long time ago. It's been fun in the sense that these threads are all play, and there are no (outstanding) risks to play, but yet it has unsurprising affect; it entails negative consequence on my perception of my crush. Play is real in the sense that it sways and causes real emotion, but because there is no risk, there is also no reward. Goodbye, Anons, I've had enough play, it's time to "work", for lack of a better term; to make things work, instead of indulging in fantasy.
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>>19141755
The other day, I finally realized what sets me apart from everyone else, so that everything is all weird: I can't reach my true self. All of my emotions are blocked inside of me, and when I attempt to access them, I'm stopped by this weird barrier of anxiety that I can't seem to break down. Even in the quietest moments, I can look into my body and feel that weird tension burning like a fire with infinite fuel. And it's nice to know the cause of my issues, but I'm still unsure if I can fix them. For now, I'll just keep meditating and see where it takes me, I guess.
>>
>>19141792
You need to have an aim to attain it. Aim to be that person you wish you were. Any progress towards that aim is exciting, and anxiety quelling, it affirms you're doing the right thing and on the right path.

I wish you the best of luck, Anon. Right now, you're suffering, but once you orient yourself and begin to progress (no matter how minimal), you'll feel better. If for whatever reason you're stuck, and still self-harming, then therapy needs to be sought.
>>
I haven't been so anxious in a while. I don't mind depression but this is freakin hell.
>>
You probably stopped even thinking of me a long time ago, whilst I pathetically meander on clinging to stupid, blind hope.
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>>19142917
Make your intentions known.
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If I'd just kissed her everything would be perfect right now. This is going to haunt me for a long time.
>>
FUUUUUUUCK.
WHY???
What did I do wrong???
Am I not interesting enough? Too short? What did I do to fuck it up?
And for once I thought this period of loneliness is finally over. That I'll go home with a girl tonight.

It hurts.
It hurts so much and I just want it to stop.
>>
Inequality fucking pisses me off, people with money get to be stupid with little to no consequenses and that's irritating to no end.

Fuck the way the world works, fuck unfairness, fuck the fact that all evidence points towards me being just as much an asshole as rich people if I was in their situation despite how much I'd wish to say otherwise. It's not fair that there's people starving because they never got a chance in life while I'm shitposting from my work's computer because I was lucky (and smart enough, I'll have to give credit to myself on that one) to get an easy and well paid job... but not everyone can, I just took the chance when I had it but most will never have that chance.

But the greatest bullshit of all is capitalism itself, fuck the fact that people who are born into rich families get to high-paying positions just because they know someone despite having absolutely no clue what the fuck they're doing and more qualified people deserving the oportunity.
>>
>>19141755
Loving you hurts, and I just want to know if you truly do love me or not. Things you do say that You do, but some actions and statements show otherwise.
I wish I could just get over you, but dedicating myself to you and then throwing that away is really hard.
Living with you still, is even harder. I'm thankful for the opportunity for somewhere to stay, and I wish I could be what you're looking for. I wish you could see me like you used to.
>>
I am s teacher at 23, have no idea what I'm doing, and will struggle to best of my ability to finish the rest of the year while mostly silently wishing I was dieing of a terminal illness.
>>
Fuck these feels for her. Sure shes a beaut. Sure shes your type but youre not hers
So fuck it go all in man i said
So i guess ill go all in before i leave
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>>19142268
I hope they know this!
Don't keep that shit quiet.
>>
Tinder girls aren't a good substitute for companionship
>>
Ur a tease...
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>>19142785
Good for you, man! Hope things work out
>>
I hate myself and I pretend to be happy, but people consider me the comedian at my high school. They think that I'm a funny guy or something, and have no idea how much of a piece of shit I am.
>>
>>19142985
Teacher here too. Did not major in education in college but teaching was always somewhere in back of mind. As in "wouldnt it be fun and interesting to be the cool but firm teacher? I can make a difference in a kids life for better or worse."

Lots of psychology and understanding these are kids you are dealing with. The innocence is still there and most of them but you never know how their life is at home and when that innocence is taking away.

2nd yr doing it and feel a lil stressed but luckily i have a supportive admin team. Btw I teach ASD1 middle school students. Love it.

I wish ya luck anon, at least you tried occupation so there would never be a doubt in your mind.
>>
I hate thinking "I wish we never met" about some of the people I love the most just because I'm afraid of the possibility of them hurting me badly some day. I know too much about one of my closest friends and it wouldn't take much for him to break my heart.

If I never met them I wouldn't be so afraid to lose them. If I never met them then I wouldn't even know that they exist, that they're so wonderful and they have to deal with a fucked up broken thing like me. I do try so hard to make sure they know that I care but caring doesn't mean they won't hurt you.
>>
Do people really feel empty from one-night stands and stuff...
>>
>>19142989
Don't worry Anon, they do. :)
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>>19143027
How drunk are you, and why do you say you treat him badly?
>>
Sometimes I feel completely crazy. Other times I feel useless, stupid, like I'm not worth keeping around. I want to blame my mother but I worry I've just been making her crazy. I can't tell if its just a terrible lack of self confidence or a love of wallowing in self pity. I can't sort out my emotions or why I feel the way I feel. And I certainly cant express them accurately enough to have a healthy relationship. Am I broken? How do I fix myself? If not for me, then for him. He deserves better.
>>
>>19143039
Oh you deleted your post, well it sounds like he really cares about you and he wants you to be happy. Don't fret too much, just apologize I am sure he will forgive you and help you overcome your negative feelings if you let him in.
>>
>>19143023
I mean, why does it have to be so hard
I don't want to be hurt again. I didn't even date her or anything and she hurt me. I can't imagine how much worse, how much more humiliating it would be to actually get involved...
>>
>>19142909
Write a self-reflection (similar to a diary entry) of the root causes of your anxiety. Once you're aware of what's causing the angst, say, fear of the suffering to come in the ever continuous future, or fear of rejection, you'll then be able to distinguish the changes that need to be made. The only way to get over and conquer anxiety is to voluntarily expose yourself to the phenomena immediate to the cause, be it an object, scenario, person or group. Finding that cause is the first step. Good luck.
>>
>>19143057
>>19143023
But then, what choice do I really have at this point? I'm nearly 30. I'll off myself if I turn 30 like this. It will confirm who I really am inside. What I am to society.
>>
>>19143066
>>19143054
This post could help you too. Figure out the issue.
>>
I'm just happy, wish y'all the best
>>
I wanna hear your voice but I don’t know what to say... this whole thing sucks, dude.
>>
>>19143068
Because its not even just that I'm unattractive or incapable of conversation. There must be something deeply wrong. Maybe I'm being punished. Maybe some how this is what happens naturally to me because I'm a bad person. I mean, what do I do for anyone. The most I've done in my life so far is steal.
A part of me just keeps wanting to get ahead. To escape. But its just scrapping at a barred hatch door.
Can't even see what's past it.
>>
>>19141755

I never thought cheating would hurt that bad.
Specially when you were someone I wasn't really sure how I felt about.
If you handled things better then this wouldn't had happened.
I'm not eve sure you want to come back because you are sorry or because you dumped the other dude and betted on me forgiving.
I really would to forgive you, but really my brain won't let that. I feel like yesterday will be the last time I'll see you in my life.
>>
>>19143079
Just call them and breathe into the phone
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>>19142995
Amen
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>>19141912
this.
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Been struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for a large portion of my life, and just recently got placed in a partial daytime inpatient program when I finally told my doctor about it.

They dropped me halfway through my allotted time there, and as part of the discharge set me up with a 'therapeutic mentor' who's supposed to help me moving forward with anything I need for a time, but she misses appointments and is constantly out of touch, so much so I've only gotten together with her twice in the last 2 months I've been under her care.

I don't know how to move forward, or if I even can/want to. I've got no one I can talk to, no form of support. And now I've spent all my money, smoked the last of my weed, and am just sitting here pathetically eyeing a bottle of whiskey that I know probably won't help much like a piece of shit while hating myself for feeling the 'need' for these things like this.

I just wish for someone I can talk to without being judged, spoken down to and told the same bull that everyone else who doesn't know what to say comes up with. Someone who can see 'ME' through all this shit. Good lord, I just need a fucking friend right now, if it were possible
>>
>>19141755
I'm lonely and I have no idea how to reach out to people or what I would say to them or ask them to do even if I did reach out to them
>>
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My skin is having an awful freakout right now and I have no idea what to do. I can't apply anymore products, I can't bring myself to go outside with my severe anxiety and self image issues (which are entirely justified),
The skin looks...raw, and it's not even a sunburn. Random red bumps, including clusters on my chin, whiteheads (which I never got), itchiness, tightness, burning...
Wow. Now I know what those guys were looking at.
I don't want to skip class anymore. Years of body image issues that made me want to avoid going outside already and fear people already...
Lost weight and I started a fresh new quarter. feeling alright despite how I ugly I am..and now this. It's like I only am walking backwards because now I can't even bring myself to show my monstrous face to anybody. Skipped class today because of it just to curl up in bed.

Maybe I'll go to the ocean again tonight. At least nobody's ever there.
>>
>>19143257
I would be your friend, anon
>>
Haha man I love hanging out with guys but they all want to have sex with me. I just wanna be one of the guys and I really, really want to date a qt nerdy girl with colorful hair and decent music taste.
Man.
>>
I have a very scary situation going on atm so i'm gonna vent about it here. Mental illness related. I have schizotypal personality disorder. Never have had visual hallucinations. Until...

To summarize, I was getting into Christianity. I couldn't believe in the religion. So I tried to do a bunch of sins at once to see if anything would happen which could convince me the religion was legit. Nothing happened of course.

Later that night hours later in the kitchen i'm i'm daydreaming. This very scary ghastly looking woman with long black hair with an absolutely insane murder face showed up in the daydream. Like an intrusive thought or something. I've never had an intrusive daydream before. From then on no matter what daydream I did, the daydream would always turn into this ghastly girl intruding into the scene and lunging at my face with this bat out of hell expression on her face and other nonsense like this.

I was freaked out and went up to my room. I closed my eyes to try and help calm down. And this is the scary part.When I closed my eyes instead of seeing black, there were these vivid very detailed horrific looking demonic faces moving towards me and they were very animated and lively. I have not seen those faces in like 10 years. When I got very religious and prayed a lot to GOD, that actually made the faces go away. It took a lot of effort but it did eventually work. If I masturbated to something funky or sinned in a way that I felt was major the faces would come back.

Then I started running into the ghastly girl in my nightmares. And then I started having some crazy episodes where as I was going to sleep, I would hear this intense unearthly screaming in my ear that sounded way scarier than anything i've heard in a horror movie. I've only heard this twice.

Guys just remember. At least you have your mental sanity. At least you're not having to question if you've been possessed by a demon. Even if its mental illness it feels convincing regardless.
>>
I miss hearing your voice.
>>
>>19142985
>>19143016
>teachers
>illiterate
future looks bright
>>
>>19143079
you don't have to say anything, just call
>>
>>19143279
Thanks anon, you're a good person. :) It's nice hearing (reading) that someone cares even a little right now, even if from another anon on 4chan
>>
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It's been a year now since I've started online dating. Been on 20+ first dates, but every single one eventually lost interest and cut me off. Only ended up going on a second date with 3 of the girls, and of those 3, none continued seeing me for longer than a month. I'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that I may not be meant to get a girlfriend. I used to have the excuse that I just never really tried. A part of me wishes I still did.
>>
I feel like I'm easily ignored.
Even in group chats with everyone being anonymous and with friends I easily am flat out ignored or the moment I chime in, chat goes dead.
Pretty sure I'm just a bother to be with or it is draining to talk to me.
Thank god for my like three good friends (more or less "good friends" with two of them :/)
How the fuck am I supposed to train this fucking dog, he's been here for like two months or more (I don't remember) and he's starting to grow up and get bigger, sharper teeth, still pisses and shits anywhere and bites (playfully but practically breaks skin) regardless of the little training I know.
>>
>>19143431
What happened to your third friend? Also that isn't really being ignored, ignored is when your family doesn't acknowledge you and your friends never speak with you.
>>
>>19143363
You can just call me.
>>
>>19141755
I don't think I'm ever finding a job after a two year gap of not working. Oh, and my jerkbrain won't let me apply to anything either.
>>
I hooked up with a guy recently who used a condom, and got defensive about making extra sure he disposed of it after he used it in a way I couldn't get it (flushed it down the toilet like 4 seconds after finishing). I asked what the rush was, and he said he didn't want to risk pregnancy, which meant to me he was worried about me picking his aging spooge out of the trash or something. It was seriously offensive, but instead of handling it like an adult, I verbally tore him up. Like I really laid into him. I regret doing it, and while I'll never likely tell him, or even have a chance to, I'm sorry.
>>
>>19143480
I...honestly would not worry about how you handled that. It's kind of weird he would do that, like you're gonna squeeze his baby butter into your vagina like a fucking tube of toothpaste. WTF.
>>
>>19143480
Why do you regret that? Made me smile! Women need to stand up for themselves more.
>>
>>19143451
I don't mean like my existence being entirely ignored, but like when I try to say something, I'm blatantly ignored time and time again, college "friends" stopped talking to me immediately after graduation.
It looks like I'm not as good with my words as I thought.
and I mean't that even out of my three "best friends", I'm not really that much of a good friend to two of them, pretty much one of them is a great friend to me while it's more like convenience to be friends with the other two, came to the conclusion the third friend is the glue that keeps us all friends on new years eve when he wasn't there for awhile and it was very awkward and I felt unwanted until he joined us all, then it was fun. He's a great friend, I'd help him with anything he asks for help with.

Did that happen with you and your family? If so, I feel for ya desu, I only know what some of that's like, but nonetheless I hope shit gets better for you (if it applies)
>>
I'm watching you.
You keep saying you want to tell me something, from what I hear in earshot.
Your friend said you might want to say it out loud to me.
You forget my hearing is fucking good, and I can hear you across this big room, even with the machine going.

I don't know what you're planning, but I'm going to keep my eye on you.
>>
>>19143497
>>19143521
In my view, the 'adult thing' would have been to call him a shit and leave, but I was there for like 20 minutes just verbally beating him. It was unnecessary and mean.
>>
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nobody replies to me anymore

i also had plans this saturday for once but the goddamn roads froze

anyone wanna be my friend? anyone wanna watch a movie w. me
>>
Sorry if I’m mean to you on 4chan baby, I don’t mean it. How long has this been put into motion?
>>
I'm in love with you, I always have been. Everytime I see you I fight the urge to kiss you, but I can't because I'm scared you don't feel the same. If you're reading this, I love you Adrianna.
>>
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>>19143497
>>19143521
>>19143480
>>
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It's been a year since I got rejected from a prestigious university and sadly accepted an offer from a mediocre school.
I wish I could say I'm at peace with it but it's a farce.
College admissions, in my mind, still represent the first real seperation of the wheat from the chaff. The thought of being part of the chaff still keeps me up at night, if you can believe that.
At least I keep this all inside, and nobody can call me "immature". Except for (you), of course.
>>
>>19143540
If you don’t mean it then why?
>>
>>19143554
I just like to tease you.
>>
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>>19143542
go talk to her anon, don't just force a kiss but speak to her
>>19143547
>>19143547
if it means anything the 'prestigious' university? you're just paying for the name, you'll get the same education
>>19143467
me too pls
>>19143266
>>19143266
i can relate to this
>>19143077
thank you anon i hope you have a nice night
>>19142945
i know it hurts buddy but it'll pass... i feel this feel. don't beat yourself up, just live your life for you and they'll want you in theirs someday.. i think
>>
fell for a man 20 years older than me. we used to talk a lot more than we do now. we're both involved with other people, but damn, it's been 4 years and i cant stop thinking about him.
>>
>>19143480
He deserved the verbal "abuse". There's always a chance of pregnancy, even with a condom. If he doesn't want to get a woman pregnant he shouldn't be having sex.
>>
>>19143603
omg kill yourself fuck shut up
>>
Having read about all the different fetishes women have, all the different things women like in guys I can safely say that what I am at my my core is not what any woman wants at all.

Like literally all my traits are undesirable, being me fucking sucks
>>
>>19143560
That’s nice. Are you gonna do something else or just keep with the teasing?
>>
>>19143607
What are these fetishes and things women like in men?
>>
>>19143613
he's saying he's submissive af
>>
>>19143606
That's not an argument. You're being childish. I've seen countless friends and friends of friends ruin their lives by having unexpected pregnancies early in life.
>>
>>19143613
They like all different kinds of shut varying from super dominant to super submissive. They want traits from nice and warm to cold and sturdy, they want anything but whatever the fuck I am because I'm a self-diagnosed depressed, fat, ugly , sociopathic, coward and extreme social retard who has no job and spends his free time high in front of his computer
>>
>>19143615
I'm not submissive I just have no idea what I want so I seem submissive but I'm just perceptive until I finally figure out who I am and what I want.
>>
>>19143610
I’m going to tease you until you can’t take it anymore. ;)
>>
>>19141755
I went from a size 22 dress size down to a size 6 in the past year, but I still feel f-f-f-f-fat.
>>
>>19143647
Are you? It's starting to get a little boring, and I want something to play with too :)
>>
I never thought even to this day YOU of all people still talk about our one and only date, as well as being up at 4am.

Something you wanna tell me.
>>
>>19143619
>He deserved the verbal "abuse".
that part. you fucking witch, what the hell is wrong with you? they're both dumbfucks for randomly hooking up with strangers but the guy didn't do anything injurious to her at all, much less the sort of grievous harm that might warrant 20 mins of irrationally hysterical ragequitting yelled in his face. op's a straight up monster and even SHE isn't all smiles and "yeah, you go gurl!" like the lot of you cunts. you're an embarrassment.
>>
I love you and I know that you love me too, but I feel like you don't love me in the relationship sense. I feel more like you care deeply about me as a friend. You haven't initiated intimate contact in a long time, and you're not flirty anymore. I feel like you're treating it like a job and not something you want to do anymore. If that's true I wish you'd tell me, I'd rather be hurt than have you continue.. but I can't ask you, because i'm afraid of the answer. I'm afraid of fucking this up.

I want to marry you and you say that'd make you happy, but I think you're just saying that to appease me. You're too fucking nice to me and I can't tell what you actually want.
>>
I can't even stop the habit of becoming too attached even with Tinder girls.
I get kinda sad when they stop replying quickly and then thinking they matched with someone better.
>>
>>19143666
Do something about it then... or walk away. The choice is yours (maybe).
>>
>>19143635
put that way it's not a problem but the stuff you mentioned in your post just above is going to make things a bit difficult, yeah. a lot of it comes down to chance anyway though and if you decide you want to change, you will. pretty sure the world is shit but my outlook is dark rn so who knows? best of luck m8.
>>
>>19143649
congrats, nice work. don't overdo it k? find the sweet spot and stay there
>>
>>19143696
Fuck, I'm not sure if I felt identified by this or wished it was for me.

Same situation though. Sucks.
>>
>>19143691
I actually agree with your entire post. I figure on average a man could handle verbal abuse better than a woman.
>>
>>19143727
>I figure on average a man could handle verbal abuse better than a woman
Depends on what has happened in their life, and who is verbally abusing them.
>>
>>19143704
If the opportunity to choose comes my way I think we both know my answer, don't play dumb with me.
>>
>>19143696
Straight up ask them, even if it is true you'll save yourself a lot of pain down the line. It could just be being around you has become routine for him though, and he figures you know how he feels.
>>
Fuck it, I cant handle this anymore. I'm going to get drunk again tonight to numb the pain
>>
I can't tell if you're interested, and I can't instigate conversation because you close yourself off from being approached, as motioned by your body language and hasty, but provocative glances. I hope it's the case that you're too flustered (wet) to engage in conversation, but even then, nothing will happen if things continue this way.
>>
>>19143727
on average yeah of course but being able to endure something and deserving to be forced to undergo it are miles apart, come on
>>
>>19143748
what's up anon?
>>
>>19143739
I came to apologize and now you’re arguing with me on an indonisian fishery forum. Just when I was about to share some sexytime. Shame!
>>
>>19143740
I'm a guy talking about a girl. I have asked her..

A few years ago we had an issue and broke up briefly (i'm the one who broke it off) and I told her that if we weren't together I don't think I could stomach being friends with her after she continued to talk to me. She lost her shit over this, had a huge breakdown, got kicked out of her university for the drunken shitstorm that followed.

We got back together shortly after. I realized I had fucked up and missed her immensely, and she just wanted me back. This is where the current issue arises.. i'm very important to her, even if it's not love on her end. It'd be safe to say we're best friends as well as lovers. I think she may have fallen out of love but thinks I wont ever talk to her if we break it off. She can't deal with that and thus may be trying to keep this going despite not feeling that way about me anymore. I've asked her many times if she's sure about this relationship and she always says yes. I want to believe.. but she's the type of person to want to give the world to the people she likes. I think she can't deal with crushing me.

We're engaged, by the way.
>>
i think my mom's in denial and can't believe i won't get married. it's pretty obvious how much of a loser i am but she still keeps talking about 'when you have kids' and 'when you get married' and i feel like a shitty son for not being strong enough to move past everything that makes me garbage
>>
>>19143772
What do you think makes you garbage anon?
>>
>>19143772
Answer me some questions, homie.
>Age?
>What would you change about yourself if you could?
>Why do you think you're worthless/garbage?
>Do you have the means to change the things about yourself that you'd like to?
>>
I don't know how much more I can take of this depression. My doctors aren't doing anything for me and I'm near my breaking point. I hurt myself earlier. I'm too scared to talk to anybody about it.
>>
I know what I want out of life, and I know it’s impossible for me to achieve. I feel pressured by society to follow through with what I’ve always said I’m going to do, even though I don’t really want to. But some small part of me—I suppose the rational bit—is telling me that humans are more adapatable than that, and I’ll end up content no matter what I do. And it horrifies me. There’s no reason for me to despair over not achieving my goals, and pursuing them may just be the wrong option if I ultimately seek happiness. So I’m in a strange situation where I will never achieve my goals, and I know I’ll be fine with it—but I’m definitely not fine with that.

Does anyone even read these?
>>
>>19143791
Do you hurt yourself because it feels good or because you want to die? You should tell someone. Either a lifelong best friend or family member or doctor.

I know it’s scary but do it anyway.
>>
>>19143791
Tell someone. I guarantee you they'll listen and wont judge you. Pick someone close to you, the person who you think will be the most understanding.

Reaching out for help is the strongest thing you can do in your situation.
>>
>>19143795
>>19143801
I guess it's out of frustration. I don't want to die. but I'm really scared to tell anybody. I have a firearms license and I don't want to lose it. I'm also scared of what they'll say/do if I say it
>>
I hate this fucking website and every day I wish some targeted electromagnetic pulse would completely and irreversibly annihilate its servers. I've tried other websites to try and switch off but they're either horribly formatted, too slow or some such combination. Something about 4chan makes it the perfect storm of accesibility/usability and it's both its greatest strength and weakness. What's the point in having a genuine conversation about anything here, might as well just write kys lol without even reading the post.

On the other hand, tighter-knit communities tend to be some kind of kafkaesque power-trip fever dream full of post-count worshipping bellends which is impossible to assimilate into and debatable whether you'd even want to. In fact on the whole it seems the internet has decided it's hip and trendy to be as much of an unnecessarily unhelpful prick as humanly possible in any given circumstance. I mean, it was always pretty bad but it's absolutely awful now.

Thankfully, I've managed to cut down on usage of all these sites, but I guess I still need that last push, or some kind of suitable replacement.
>>
>>19143806
you lose your firearm license if you die by your own hand. Tell them anyway. Let them take your gun temporarily. Gun doesn't matter if you end up dead anyway, you only get to keep that hobby if you're living.
>>
>>19143775
long story short, i've been rejected a massive number of times and should have learned my lesson much faster. outside of 'romance' i'm a pretty great guy, but i can't really be that great if no one thinks im interesting enough to waste even hour with

>>19143777
checked

I'm 26. I'd like to go back in time and change the way I did certain things to avoid the scars/nerve damage left on my body. I think I might want to lose some weight, but i'm okay with how I am now. I'd very much like to not be staid and boring. I know objectively I'm not a piece of shit human, but experience has taught me in spades that I am utterly repulsive to women. I suppose I could lose a bit of weight if I really put my mind to it, but any improvements in my life would be purely a sense of personal achievement, my health and vital signs haven't changed much from my army days
>>
I want to be more than friends and you don't even want to be friends with me despite your claims. You say shit about me and always see the worst in me and it's not even in a jokey manner because it's a problem if I ever joke about you.
That's my fucking problem and that's why I don't want to talk to you. Don't feel obligated to talk to me, I'll make it easy and keep my distance. I was told again and again to stay away from you and I was so blinded by affection until I was tired of feeling hurt.

I can only wish that I had never bothered trying with you in the first place. I should have just kept avoiding you like I did when you acted like a bitch the first time we even formally met. Fuck.
>>
I just want to be a house husband. I like cooking and cleaning, I’m fine with raising children, my pride isn’t based on my ability to provide for a family. I just want to have a loving wife who works and supports me, who I can support in return by giving her a comfortable, clean home and well-raised children.
>>
Why are you being so fucking cold to me? We used to be best friends, I wanted to marry you but you went and abandoned me over some lies people told about me ...I let you back in my life on a relationship that I knew was rekindled on a lie YOU told, I forgave you for that. Then your family coming after me for some bullshit rumors. Yeah I cut contact after I moved away. I was tired of dealing with all that shit but you agreed it was a good idea! Now I'm just trying to be some semblance of friends now that we actually have a way to stay in contact but apparently that's too much. Apparently that all was forever ago and doesn't matter. I had to block you from my mind for a year just to be able to keep from breaking down so I could live my life. And I guess i was pretty easy to forget. Well just so you know you helped me stop wanting to kill myself. You meant a lot to me. Still do. I find myself attracted to girls that look like you. it's weird. We had figured we were soul mates, but i guess I'm the only one who still thinks that.
>>
>>19143862
This to a woman or a man?
>>
>>19143862
Jesus christ you are exactly me word for word. Except for the not wanting to talk to them, and shouldn't have bothered parts. I definitely want to talk to them and I don't regret the time I had with them, but the rest dead on. I am sorry you are going through the same shit.

>>19143870
>Why are you being so fucking cold to me? We used to be best friends, I wanted to marry you but you went and abandoned me over some lies people told about me
I can strongly relate to this part as well, I am sorry you are going through that man. That shit is the absolute worst.
>>
I don't give a shit about 99% of the population. I mean, I'm polite and I don't dislike them or anything, but I just couldn't care to put any effort into them or all those pretend games to hide how much of a bizarre fucked person I am. I always need someone who I can be open about every single hidden thing with, and have them accept me. The problem is every time I get close I think I just fuck it up. I know it's pathetic but goddamn does it make me feel lonely.
>>
>>19143862
I assumed you weren't trying at all and were just being nice because I look awful or your friends were beside me for a while.
I told what I told about you because I wanted to find a way to get you away from me so I don't feel fucking hurt by your presence. I loved you, but rejecting me broke me internally. I just wanted you away so I can at least breathe a few fresh breaths for a moment.

You were away and I am refreshed and ready to just deal with you as a friend...even though deep down I wanted more.

You quietly rejected even that, until you openly rejected that here.

Let me tell you this...it's fine to reject me. It's not fine to announce to the world we were on one date. I run by mystery and taboo, not by being broadcasted as some loser who took a cute but impossible woman out for dinner.

That is what hurt me and that is why I mainly evade you. You don't get me in trouble, but just breaching my privacy like that without permission fucking killed me. That and rejection but I felt we never were together to begin with. It hurts me too but my feelings don't matter.
>>
Dear Me,

I am writing in regards to your sanity. You are legitimately slowly losing it, girl. Sort your shit out.

Last year was awful. You lost so much and it kills but all your crazy shit is not attractive. The only way to move forward is to take the first step in the right direction.

P.s. Stop letting one night stands choke and rough fuck you, you’re going to get murdered
>>
Fuck you. Oh my god, fuck you. You destroyed my brain. I fucking lost my sanity because of you. Did it make you happy to see me have mental breakdowns EVERY.FUCKING.DAY. just because you were THAT fucking jealous and COULD NOT accept the fact that I am a human being and I need to talk to more than one person. Calling me a bitch for TALKING. JUST TALKING. to two boys, while you were sexting and asking nudes from girls, from my BEST FRIEND. Jesus fucking Christ, I hate you SO FUCKING MUCH. Insulting me every day. Being sweet with your ex RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I lost everyone because of you. I bet you got off hearing me scream and cry for your love and forgiveness, for stuff that didn't even deserve a frown from you. Fuck the chick you broke up with me for and after she cheated on you you returned to me. Fuck the chick you were making out with while I was crying because I| didn't fucking know what to do so you'll stop being mad at me for having three friends. Just fuckin you. Fuck you so much. I can't even write down all the stuff you did. I hope you never fucking find happiness. You ruined my life. I can't trust anyone anymore.
>>
>>19143889
To a woman

>>19143910
I want to talk to her but I only feel regret because despite everything I was never able to get anywhere, I couldn't even get her to be genuinely nice. She would be friendly and I would think that I got through but then next time she would just be cold again. I understand that we have our own lives and sometimes we have bad days but even after all our experiences and time shared together she still acts like she did the first time we talked: A mean, condescending person. There's good in her but she will never show it to me and I feel it is because she doesn't see me as worthy and I just wish I could understand why not and why she insists we're "friends".
>>
>>19143480
well, with all the crazy women nowadays and the court system totally rigged in their favor, I can't really blame the guy
>>
I just hope I dont fuck up this internet friendship. She's the first female friend I've ever had. I might just be overthinking it.
>>
I have no idea where to start. I don't know where to put my pieces. I know what I want to be I just don't know how to get there. I just want to live alone with my daughter. I'm not even sure I needdo significant other. it would just be another person I disappoint. I just sort of want to be left alone but at the same time I wouldn't mind someone at least trying to message me or contact me at least once in awhile. I don't know how but I lost my structure. I lost my discipline. I want to improve myself and my life and I want somebody who I can do it with. You lost your job and you don't want to get another. It's always more excuses. I feel that no matter what I say or do I'm always wrong.
>>
>>19144004
I see, ya our situations are a bit different. I was close to my person for many years, we were best friends and later became a couples. Then they just dropped me for shitty reasons. We were going to maintain our friendship since it was great, but they decided to outright ignore me and pretend I didn't exist a week later. They haven't blocked me anywhere though which is weird. Even if they wanted to stop dating I don't understand why someone would throw away a friendship that lasted over a decade.
>>
I don't think either of us are okay with how this ended

That wasn't me. Please, let's try again.

I don't know how to ask you though.
>>
>>19144038
Lasted close to a decade*
>>
>>19144039
Just send them a text message or ask them in person.
>>
I can't stop crying and I have scary thoughts I have a hard time comprehending let alone explaining.
They make everything so hopeless and sad.
I can't seem to find help for my problems and I'm a broke grown ass man.
Each day is a fight to keep going, even if I do nothing but the bare minimum.
Maybe if I lived some place else or if I was a better person
>>
>>19143673
Thanks for redpilling me
>>
i love you nick
>>
I wish I knew what I want
>>
>>19144038
Yeah you definitely got further than I did. I can barely even get a regular conversation going most of the time.

If I've learned anything from my past relationships it's that things aren't ever the same afterwards, even if you were good friends before there was anything serious. I believe that you continue caring for an ex to some extent after a serious relationship has ended and that's probably why they haven't blocked you from anything but it sounds like your person is trying hard to move on.
Maybe in time they'll come around but you'll be doing yourself a disservice by not trying to move on yourself. That's what I've come to realize, at least.
>>
>>19144080
I want her so fucking bad that it hurts, and she knows this
>>
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From talking an hour to hours a day--usually nonstop over many months, we fell in love. He makes me happier than anyone else ever has. Two days ago he finally asked to be my first boyfriend; and that I'll be his "last girlfriend." He's my first love.

But...it's wrong..I realized today.

Looks are almost everything to him (that it's a reflection of who you are), he said so. He's very attractive; over cam, that personality, voice, intelligence of his. Jesus. The first week in I looked him up and his past two girlfriends were 9s or 10s. Petite blondes with angelic faces..

I have suffered for years because of my body image issues; panic attacks, insecurity...people betrayed me because of my appearance/my old fatness. He would have disdained me. Hell, maybe he would now. Gives the happiness when I'm with him a bitter edge.
"It's a lie."

Last night after our many hours long talk he said after I put myself down "you're the best thing that's happened to me" and he started crying a little. Pure joy. I cried along with him because I was just happy for him. But mourning reality, too.

I might be average *at best*. Look older, worn out despite my virgin status and youth (which he found out about only long into the friendship). The picture he saw of me and the webcam I thought were accurate, but that can't be the case and that explains why he ever even fell in love with me. If he saw this self-hate, he'd get so mad and say, "You're hurting me--stop calling the woman I love average, you're the most beautiful girl in the world." And...I just...I just want him to stop. I just want him to say "even if you're average I don't give a fuck."

I'd get plastic surgery - I don't know what I need, but I need it - and demean myself, do anything...to be with him. But I'd know that if I didn't magically do that, he'd lose all interest when we met, and would feel the greatest disappointment of life. I'd kill myself because I couldn't bare it. My heart would break. For him. For me.
>>
>>19144118
If a man cries, it's real.
>>
>>19144039
What happened? Im in a similar boat.
>>
>>19144138
Real?

Sorry. I just read that as some sort of sardonic comment and just wanted to confirm.
>>
>>19144138
mine cried. it wasn't.
but hers is.
>>
>>19144143
Oh. Wait. You were referring to when I said "it was a lie."

I'm sorry 2x. For the past few days I've seen some convoluted malicious undertones in everything people say to me. It's weird and so unlike me.
>>
What's it like to love? I think about it all the time. I was never physically, mentally, emotionally abused or neglected. Yet, I don't feel attached to anyone. Is it something that I should want to experience? Am I missing out?...
>>
>>19144143
He means what he says and you shouldn't worry about a thing. You're special to him and you guys are lucky to have found each other.
Just speaking as another guy.
>>
>>19141755
I don't know what I'm doing,
I'm lost and I'm scared
But I have to keep doing it
I want to die because my death would simplify my existence.
>>
>>19144118
i can relate to this a lot.especially the body image issues and feeling insecure about every little thing. and i would even say that surgery could be your best option - if it was for you.
but its not, its so this guy wont leave you.

first of all, its your low self esteem that is telling you he isnt going to like you when he sees you in person. It's that voice in your head telling you youre not good enough. but you are!

even if you say youre not the most beautiful girl in the world and are just "average", thats OKAY.
just fucking be who you are, not for him, not to stop him leaving you, but for yourself.
If this dude meets you and doesnt like what he sees, then its him who isnt good enough for you, not the other way around.

You have given him all the power over you.
You need to take it back
>>
I really fucking do love you. I haven't ever been able to stop it. I wanna-
>>
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>Try Tinder for the first time
>Swipe right on every girl to maximise matching chances thinking there's no reason not to
>Hit maximum likes for the day
>Only get 1 match
>3 hours pass and no response yet
Wew
>>
I get PTSD when I see you.
>>
Concerns that my friendship with a female, married colleague might actually be an emotional affair are rising.

She seems certain that she will also not be with her husband long.
>>
I'm going to go for it. I'm going to try to kiss you. Even if it ruins our friendship for good, it'll be worth it if even for that slimmest of chances that we become more.
>>
>>19144536
you will fail
>>
>>19144533
Lmao
>>
Is anyone else primarily motivated by fear?
Most of what I do I do because I'm afraid of being poor or homeless. It was the biggest deciding factor in choosing my degree.
I did lots of things because I was afraid of dying a virgin. Now that i'm not a virgin, I can concentrate wholly on being afraid of being poor. Eventually I will be afraid of never getting married, though this will only happen, I think, if my feaes of financial failure come to pass. And maybe even then, even if I got a "good" job, I would perpetually be so afraid of losing it I wouldn't think about marriage.
I work hard because i'm scared shitless of what people and the world will do to me if I don't. My biggest fear, that drives all others, is that one day I will end up in my car with my gun and nothing left to do.
>>
>>19144563
cunt
>>
>>19144556
And yet that doesn't really bother me.
>>
Off tap rn. Euphoria
Can we start again?
I'm a lover, I'm a reaper
>>
I hope you'll still be there when I get out of this shithole. But it's cool if you aren't.
>>
>>19144692
It's always better to forego porn but if you're watching it, keep it vanilla.
>>
i need a way out
>>
>>19144745
i need a way in
>>
/s/ board is what heaven must feel like.
>>
I shouldn't have had sex with my best friend. Ignoring that it happened and acting like everything is normal isn't fucking helping.
>>
>>19144777
thats really hot though. uh maybe just have more sex, fuck it? Or at least acknowledge it
>>
>>19144533
Then stop looking. Mind your own.
>>
Someone please help me
I don't want to kill myself today but I really want to kill myself right now. I want it more than anything but rationally I know I shouldn't. I don't want to. Jesus Christ I want to die.
Help me. Please.
Help.
>>
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>>19141755
lol I did that thing where I do MDMA at a club and tell myself I won't text the girl I like cause I fucked up with her and turn off my phone

ended up turning on my phone at 1AM to text her this pure piece of gold

hahahaha fuck it, it's pretty funny anyway lmao gonna see her today and it's going to be weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird fuck my life be grand sure
>>
>27 years old
>single for the last 6 months
>realise I dont have friends anymore cause people don't want to hang out or do stuff anymore.

>...Very Lonely
>>
i hate the feeling of not being able to move on, and knowing that you already have. that you're out there dating other people already, and i'm still in love with you. you don't think about me anymore, call, or text. you don't owe me anything. i just wish you were still in love with me so that we can be together again someday. thats just not going to happen though. it sucks being left behind by someone i thought wanted forever together. maybe you never wanted that at all.
>>
I am the 5th person in line for the lifeline chat
I don't know if I can restrain myself this long
>>
The lack of reciprocity...
>>
>>19144044
Just gargle my cock and balls
>>
>>19145135
cocke n ballz
>>
>>19143960
S'appning Abbie
>>
I had an arguement with a friend yesterday and today she's not answering
"...girls"
>>
Nine months and six days later, I'm happy.
>>
>>19145200
She's probably mad at you not the subject of argument,irrational I know
>>
>>19145207
aww. :)
>>
>>19145207
Congratulatins!
>>
I want a relationship, I feel my life is empty without physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and sex.

At the same time I'm 24, haven't even been on a date, I've done everything that I thought society told me to do; money in the bank, educated, /fit/, have my shit together (hygiene, clean house), and a decent social life outside of romance.

I've given up on the prospect of a relationship, sex, everything and concluded I'd be better off an hero-ing but I'm terrified of the experience and I've had existential terror since childhood.

I fucking hate it, and it's beyond frustrating any time I start enjoying life with friends, with a book, with a game or anything else and I get pulled back that visceral desire for even a fucking hug. I feel horrible any time I see a couple in one of my social groups kiss or anything like that. I've spent nights seriously considering having both my nuts snipped if the reduced hormones and lack of possibility sex might reduce this fucking pain.

And yet I still put all this effort in all the time into myself and my social life and hate how it just reminds me how much of a failure I am.
>>
>>19144249
Wanna what?
>>
>>19145211
>>19145213
If your response was intended for a pregnancy, you're going to be disappointed. It's the last time I had stopped acknowledging my abuser by not answering his calls. Sorry for misleading you.
>>
>>19145244
ok thats good too. good luck
>>
>>19145233
What do you think the problem is?
>>
>>19145209
The arguement was litteraly: You don't open up to me! I tell you everything but you're "closed" I try to pry but you're not easy to pry!

>"Hahaha, I'm not intentionally hiding anything, if you want to know something just ask"

>turned into an arguement.
>>
>>19143960
This. As if I wrote it myself. Both parts. Ha.
>>
>>19144862
what's on your mind hun?
>>
>be me
>26 decent looking male looking after himself
>fit, healthy, friendly
>be summer 2017
>break up with GF of 3 years
>start talking with female colleague going through the same stuff as I was
>fast forward to november
>we meet up for some christmas market in my city
>we drink a little and go back to my apparement
>watch movies and talk for hours
>I gather courage and kiss her
>intense session of making out and sex
>we know it is temporary, both of us want to go different ways in future
>during next month we met up several times, had sex multiple times
>every time we are together, emotions are flying high
>tfw you know you struck a gold mine of a girl
>tfw you start falling for her desperately
>december 27 she should come by to spend new years with me
>27th and she isn't coming
>28th and she calls it off for another day, weird feeling but get past it
>29th and she comes, I pick her up from parking place
>she has no bag, we will get it later she said
>get to appartement and start casual talk
>half hour later she spills the beans
>she is ending it
>tfw feels bad man
>next 3 days are complete hard rock bottom of a depression
>hearth broken to pieces
>it is 2 weeks past that and I still love her to bits
>we are friends and hang out from time to time
>I fight with myself to keep my emotions in check
>I am a fucking mess and want to cry every day

What should I do? I need her back in my life. I know she is the women of my life but I cannot convince her easily. I know this is going to be a difficult fight....
>>
>>19145320
>>19145320
i dnt know about girls. but you should start pissing in the sink. ive been doing it for a year. its so liberating and feels good.
>>
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>>19141755
FUCK

WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU UNDERSTAND

Every fucking time I was correct. Every fucking time I predicted it right. I've been there for you, I've been the perferct partner for you, I have all the right qualities, you spend time with me and you enjoy it, and yet, you still prefer to be a fucking slut who fucks many men instead of being with me.

Why the fuck won't you just feel this urge to be exclusive with me? Why the fuck do I love you so much? God fucking damn it I hate you so much but I also love you and I worry about whether you're okay.

Why does this have to keep happening to me?

We would have been such a perfect couple. We complimented each other so perfectly. If only you weren't such a slut. If only you haven't had so many issues with yourself. I wish I could've fixed you. I failed.
>>
If we aren't back together by the time we leave work I'm giving it up.
>>
>>19145347
I am on a same boat man.

I wish there was an easier way to do it. Sometimes, it boggles my mind how backward thinking women can be.

Life is hard. People have dreams and follow them blindly sometimes without realizing that sometimes destiny is changing your life in a much better way.
>>
I'm just not happy with my relationship anymore, I don't love her I constantly lie to her to attempt to make her happy but I just dont even know why I do it anymore
>>
>>19144118
JFC nicole get ur shit together
youre never satisfied
dont u remember how you felt before he came back
u really are a stupid slut
>>
>>19145368
I don't know, man. One way of seeing it is that I keep meeting women who get me hooked and then turn out to be sluts. Another is that destiny is helping me dodge bullets.

With this one I was so goddamn sure destiny has put her on my way for us to be together. Many coincidences happened with her that made me feel like she was the one for me. And yet, she doesn't want any of it.

I presented myself as the best parner for her. I genuinely love her and want to protect her and help her. I enjoy her presence, and all.

And yet, she just doesn't seem to appreciate it in any way. She just keeps making the same fucking mistakes she used to make over and over again. In fact, she went even more extreme with them. It's like she just can't be happy and doesn't want to be.

And what's worse is that I'm still a fucking cuck who gives her all the bf shit without actually being her bf. Just another tool for her.
>>
>>19143960
>>19145269
Dumb disgusting sluts.
Have fun being worthless for the rest of your life.
>>
>>19144074
this made my heart skip a beat anon, thanks. Wish you could tell him that, holding it in hurts.
>>
I want to break up with the bf and watch anime and learn Japanese and continue to work for this jap company and hopefully get moved to the Tokyo office so I can just disappear from all the people I know but also not have to find a new job and everything
>>
>>19145399
It is quite eerie how similar is my situation.

I helped her get over a guy and I knew she was fine since she told me when we met him last time. But after that, she met him once more and fell for his lies again.

Every day I just loose a little bit more interest in her. I love her to bits, but it is difficult to watch her to make a decision whether or not to go with the ex and make a mistake. I know that once she would say yes to him, that is it for me. I wouldn't be able to handle and I would have to just stay home for weeks and deal with it.

I know she is perfect for me and she knows I am perfect for her. She is the worst actor in the world and I know that all the emotions she had when I was with her were real and she never felt anything so intense in her life. I know it.

I just have so much fucking problem to hold my emotions at the bay. It is too much for me to be near her and not to kiss her or hug her. It kills me inside so much.

I hope we make it man.... this is hell....
>>
I keep thinking about ghosting. Everyone here keeps saying to never do that, but when I ask what to do the advice seems to amount to ghosting anyway.

I don't even know if the girl likes me. I'm probably just being egocentric, and the things she posts aren't about me. But past evidence seems to indicate that I have been on her mind.
>>
>>19145448
Sounds exactly like me, man. She keeps making wrong decisions and all I can do is just stand there and watch. I don't know if she knows that there's literally no other man that genuinely cares about her as much as I do. Her ex? He lives fucking abroad and is a divorcee. All those other guys she's fucking? They only want her pussy.

And yet every time we meet she puts her head on my chest, hugs me and feels like this little kitty that wants to cuddle. She laughs at my jokes, tells me I make her feel good and shit... And then she goes back to being a slut.

>I hope we make it man.... this is hell....
This is the third month of this for me so far. It's not likely to end. Although I'm also starting to loose a little bit of interest for her every day. Maybe it's just the memories of good times fading away? The new memories are nowhere near as intense, but still they work me up.
>>
I miss you and I wish I could fastforward time to when I am healthy so I could be everything you need and more.
>>
>>19145476
>Her ex? He lives fucking abroad and is a divorcee.
Right in the feels man.... Same.... fucking.... thing....

Thankfully for me, she is in no place to fuck other guys, yet. I hope she wont.

>And yet every time we meet she puts her head on my chest, hugs me and feels like this little kitty that wants to cuddle. She laughs at my jokes, tells me I make her feel good and shit...
This kills me all the time. So fucking much of my energy is going into blocking my emotions when she does it. I work so hard to not kiss her... I know she needs time but man, it is hard for me to wait. How long? I don't fucking know, but each day I love her a little less. I don't know how long will it take for me to get over her but I have a bad feeling that once she wants to start with me again, I will be over her and I won't be able to go for it.

>This is the third month of this for me so far. It's not likely to end.
Kill me now.... I won't be able to put up with this type of shit for 3 months straight without blowing my brain out....
>>
>>19145494
>Right in the feels man.... Same.... fucking.... thing....
Wait a fucking minute. What's your girls name?

>I know she needs time but man, it is hard for me to wait.
Does she? Is there a point waiting for her? Do you think she'll want anything back with you?

>Kill me now.... I won't be able to put up with this type of shit for 3 months straight without blowing my brain out....
It doesn't get any easier. In fact I'd say it gets harder because every single time I feel like I'm getting over her, I get these thoughts that maybe I'm letting go of something special. And we meet, and we cuddle. My feelings come back.
>>
When I make posts on 4chan, I end up rereading it many times. This must be some kind of narcassistic or OCD
>>
>>19145504
>Wait a fucking minute. What's your girls name?
I am from UTC+1 country, I don't want to be more specific than that....

>Does she? Is there a point waiting for her? Do you think she'll want anything back with you?
I know she needs time. There is a point for me to wait for her, for now. How will it look in 2 months, I don't know. I know that each day I loose a little bit more hope. I know that if this goes on for longer than few weeks, I am done with her and she will regret it. I don't know what she thinks right now. I don't know what she wants with me other than friend ship, because she does not know it either. I know that I was the best thing that happened to her. Period. I know it, I felt all those emotions, we shared so much. This was reality. Reality changing my dreams. And I was ok with it until she broke my heart.

>It doesn't get any easier. In fact I'd say it gets harder because every single time I feel like I'm getting over her, I get these thoughts that maybe I'm letting go of something special. And we meet, and we cuddle. My feelings come back.
I don't know man. I go back and forth on this. I don't know if I give too much or if I don't give enough. All I know is that this is hell on earth and this torture is not worth it for me in a long run...
>>
I hate feeling like I'm always on the outside looking in. Even in my own family. I'm the stranger or the guest.

https://youtu.be/VDJIFu_WSaE
>>
>>19145367
>back together
Were we ever together in the first place?
>>
>>19145577
.........................*crickets*
>>
>>19145539
>I am from UTC+1 country, I don't want to be more specific than that....
Anon... so am I... What are her initials?

>she will regret it.
Will she? In my case I genuinely wish she'd regret it all but I know that she won't. Because those girls never do. They wouldn't put themselves in such situation in the first place. And her being a fucking slut doesn't help it either. She's a legit sociopath and some of the things she's said are just straight up disgusting and I genuinely wish that she'll burn in fucking hell for all of that and wish her loneliness and depression for all of those things because that's all she deserves. And in fact, she'll feel that. She already did and sometimes does. And on another hand, I worry for her and want the best for her...

>I know that I was the best thing that happened to her. Period. I know it, I felt all those emotions, we shared so much. This was reality. Reality changing my dreams. And I was ok with it until she broke my heart.
Objectively I was also the best boyfriend she could possibly have. We would've made a perfect couple if she was normal. It could all be so perfect. But she chose to not have this. I can only hope that one day she'll realize her mistake.

>I don't know if I give too much or if I don't give enough.
In a way that you don't know whether you're too much acting as a boyfriend to her and she doesn't appreciate it or not enough so she thinks you're not interested?

>All I know is that this is hell on earth and this torture is not worth it for me in a long run...
It is. And to be honest, I'm fully aware that I should not be with her under any circumstances. I still want to, and still want her. Even despite her being such absolute trash. But all in all... she made me feel so good. Still does.
>>
Im going to make it.
>>
Was that Russian meteorite really an Aurora crashing? What kind of fucking engines do these things have?

The helium fusion drives haven't been made yet, have they?

Those aren't pulse ramjets are they. They are miniature nuclear fission/fusion reactions. How many people got cancer because of that? Was it american or russian? Chinese?
>>
>>19145586
>Anon... so am I... What are her initials?
ZB

>Will she? In my case I genuinely wish she'd regret it all but I know that she won't........
I know she will. She knows she will. Everyone that knows us knows that she will regret it. She has done mistake few times before and I understand why. But then I was there to help her not to make it again. Even before we slept together. I know she is smarter than that. She must be. Why would anyone throw away opportunity like this away? There is almost nothing that she can loose and she can get so much more back....

>I can only hope that one day she'll realize her mistake.
I know she will. You will know when it will be. She will let you know. When she digs deep into the memories, she will connect all the dots and realize where she made a mistake. I know it will be a shitty day when you will read that message. Because at that time you will be long gone, no feelings left for her. And they will all come back. Just like that.

>In a way that you don't know whether you're too much acting as a boyfriend to her and she doesn't appreciate it or not enough so she thinks you're not interested?
I feel like I gave her everything. All at once. But I don't know if it was a good thing or not. Maybe if I gave it to her in parts, it would be different. Who knows. All I can do now is wait and hope she will come around quicker than I can loose her from my mind.

>It is. And to be honest, I'm fully aware that I should not be with her under any circumstances. I still want to, and still want her. Even despite her being such absolute trash. But all in all... she made me feel so good. Still does.
We sure can pick em. I wish it was easier to get over her than this. Life would be so much easier.
>>
>>19145607
I'm pretty sure that was the City Maria was from. Does that have anything to do with her or her child getting sick?

Have they put nuclear material in our water to give us all cancer?
>>
>>19145612
>ZB
In case you're lying - my girl's are AS.

>I know she will. She knows she will. Everyone that knows us knows that she will regret it. She has done mistake few times before and I understand why. But then I was there to help her not to make it again. Even before we slept together. I know she is smarter than that. She must be. Why would anyone throw away opportunity like this away? There is almost nothing that she can loose and she can get so much more back....
Honestly, are you really sure she knows she'll regret it? I feel like in my case, she doesn't know it and that's why she keeps doing it all. While I'm sure she realizes that I'm the perfect boyfriend for her, she probably has some retarded things she made up about why we can't be together. Some stupid reasons she won't even share with me. She just doesn't seem to see that we wouldn't even be meeting so often and doing the things we do if there wasn't something between us.

>I know she will. You will know when it will be. She will let you know. When she digs deep into the memories, she will connect all the dots and realize where she made a mistake. I know it will be a shitty day when you will read that message. Because at that time you will be long gone, no feelings left for her. And they will all come back. Just like that.
I'll be honest with you - this is my wet dream. This would be the perfect justice served to her. But that shit just doesn't happen outside movies. Recently we've talked about how her relation with some other guy has "elevated to a higher level". I told her that he wants nothing else than pussy from her and that he's bad business. But she wouldn't care. Lo and behold, yesterday she tells me he fucking dumped her after fucking her. Did she in any way connect the dots and see I was right? No, of course not. There's been so many times I was right about things in her life, because I very well understand her, but she just doesn't see any of it.

cont.
>>
>>19145612
cont.

>I feel like I gave her everything. All at once. But I don't know if it was a good thing or not. Maybe if I gave it to her in parts, it would be different. Who knows. All I can do now is wait and hope she will come around quicker than I can loose her from my mind.
I also gave her everything. I was there for her when she was sick, I brought her food, I cared for her and all. When she needed help, I always offered it. And yet, she doesn't seem to appreciate it in that way. I don't think she ever will. I feel like the only way is to take it all away from her so that she feels at loss. And so right now I'm in this weird state where I don't know if I should just act as a friend to her and do literally nothing more, or should I keep going full on boyfriend mode and do everything to her.

>We sure can pick em. I wish it was easier to get over her than this. Life would be so much easier.
It is... For girls. What hurts me the most is that she couldn't get over her fucking exbf who lives abroad but so immediately got over me. Like I was nothing to her.
>>
Last night I dreamed I ran into guy I'm crushing on in a coffee shop or something like that and started chatting with him. After a few minutes, a little one-man folk concert started in the café (I think it was The Mountain Goats, which is weird because neither of us are really into that band) and we walked over and sat on a couch to watch him perform. As I was about to lean on his shoulder, I stopped to ask him if he has a girlfriend (he does IRL), and he said yes, and awkwardly apologized and left.

Even in my fucking dreams. Goddammit.
>>
I met a girl on vacation for 2 weeks and her and I are in a LDR. I will be coming back in the summer and her and I have decided that we would stick together until I came back and leave again and then afterword if we just want to be friends I'm totally cool with that.

We've been together now for 6 months or so and things have been OK. Not perfect but I'm generally happy and so is she.

My father a few days ago pretty much came out of nowhere saying that I was wasting my time that I only liked her because she liked me and that I should date other girls and then go to said country. Note that he was a "Chad" in college. He even said that she is not my girlfriend.

First of all, he doesn't have the right to decide what she is or isn't, that is up for her to decide. Second, I think that my dad and I see the world fundamentally different. I think about the long term value and not really interested in casual sex or partying or "having fun" as he puts it, but care more about having a family and a future. I'd rather be with a girl I loved for rest of my life than to fuck all the women on the planet.

Should I just ignore his old jaded ass? Her and I have a plan and we're happy together, so I don't see a problem.
>>
>>19145635
>Honestly, are you really sure she knows she'll regret it?
I know it. If she gets back with him, she will be disappointed. I know it. Maybe the difference between yours and mine is that mine is not sleeping around but is waiting for this one guy that was there for her before I was. And I guess she still carries a candle for him. Obviously she made up BS excuses why she ended it with me. That pushed me into depression like nothing. Instead of opening up to me more about her feelings, she decided to fight her feelings for him and me at the same time and be done with it with less pain. I know I feel pain everyday....

>I'll be honest with you - this is my wet dream.
I don't think you want this to happen. It will happen and I feel like this is the day when you will have biggest swing in your emotions ever. It is hard to get over someone but it is milion times harder to be over someone, on the surface, have a happy life only to find this message from your soulmate one day. It will ruin your day and you will be in deep shit for weeks. The longer it will take, the harder it hits you.

>I also gave her everything. I was there for her when she was sick, .....
I feel that this is where we made the mistake. Maybe sometimes they need to know that they won't get everything because they asked for it. Sadly I cannot go back in past and test this theory out. It is too late now for that so I have to deal with it as it is. At this point, I try to be her friend. Help her. Guide her away from the bad stuff and remind her how emotional things were with me. Show her that this is what she needs.

>What hurts me the most is that she couldn't get over her fucking exbf who lives abroad but so immediately got over me.
...if I was a woman, I would cry everyday because of this one thing alone. Nothing is bothering me more than how she treats me and him. Especially despite how he treated her and how good I was for her.
>>
It’s not like I have feelings for you or anything but every time you get your face so close to mine my heart skips a beat and races and oh my god... would you fucking kiss me once for all before it gives me an arrhythmia?
>>
>>19145671
>BS excuses why she ended it with me
What were they? In my case those were:
- I look like her ex (the one she loves) - that's just fucking retarded...
- I'm a clean person and I turn over the fucking clothes when undressing her for sex - retarded shit
- I say her name often at the end of sentences
- we don't have much in common - this one is the most bullshit one because there's not fucking way we'd spend so much time talking, hanging out, spend entire fucking nights and STILL hang out and have fun

>That pushed me into depression like nothing. Instead of opening up to me more about her feelings, she decided to fight her feelings for him and me at the same time
Yeah same here. She brought me out of my depression, which I guess is partially responsible for why I fell for her so hard, because I've NEVER been this happy before, but then she pushed me back into it harder than I've ever been there. And I talked to her about it. And... we've connected even more... And she's also clearly been fighting her feeling to me, and eventually she got rid of it. At least to the point of not being able to consider a relationship with me but still use me for cuddles... And since she's started feeling something for one of the new guys I'm guessing she's also stopped feeling things for her exbf.

>Maybe sometimes they need to know that they won't get everything because they asked for it.
See, that's the problem I have and had. One one hand - you give her everything and she won't really appreciate it. On another - you don't and she'll think you're not fit to be a good bf and you're not interested.

cont.
>>
>>19145671
cont.

>At this point, I try to be her friend. Help her. Guide her away from the bad stuff and remind her how emotional things were with me.
I do that too. And again, I don't know whether I should go all the way and be a good boyfriend to her? She probably won't appreciate that and will just use me for those things while she has other guys for other stuff. Or I could just be JUST a friend and nothing more. And a bit of an asshole too so as to remind her that in this type of relation between us, she's not getting the boyfriend benefits from me. I just don't know. I think the best way is to just ghost her and drop her altogether and forget. Because this way she might realize what she's lost and come back crawling (the least likely thing to happen desu) or she won't, but I won't really care because I'll already have forgotten her. But do I really want to forget her? And all the things we've done? The only way to truly get rid of her would be to find another girl that's better and to "overwrite" those memories with something better. But we both know how fucking hard that is going to be.

Either way, I still act like this sort of a spiritual guide to her because I'm legitimately the only person who understands her and cares for her. Not even her own mother seems to want to help her with that shit. She only agrees to all of that...

>Nothing is bothering me more than how she treats me and him. Especially despite how he treated her and how good I was for her.
Honestly, I have no idea how he treated her but from what I've heard - not that bad really. He was a good bf. It's just that he wouldn't come back with her to the country she's in right now. And that he was still getting divorced with his ex wife. I guess he must've been a shit husband too... But that said, I was still the better choice. Even for my education and job alone.
>>
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU i'm sorry i'm so sorry this is hurting you i'm sorry i can't be tougher than this i don't have anymore in me than this i held out for as long as i could i'm sorry i'm sorry
>>
>>19145734
Tell them
>>
>>19145708
>- I'm a clean person
This came up few times as a bad thing...
>- we don't have much in common
This is a relationship oxymoron. How in the hell can you have nothing in common and spend HOURS in bed talking about stuff?

She said that I woudn't be able to give her everything in bed as well, which was BS since she never spoke about it. Of course I cannot give here everything on first night if she says nothing...
Of course, she likes me too much to give me a false hope. I think I am self sufficient enough to know what I want and if she can give it to me or not.

Overall I think most of the excuses were just a miscommunication or simply too short intimate relationship to develop all things we needed.

>She brought me out of my depression, which I guess is partially responsible for why I fell for her so hard, because I've NEVER been this happy before
I don't understand how is it possible, to find someone on an anonymouse image board that is dead, someone feeling exactly like me in 90% of my relationship things. Within MINUTES. I never thought this shit is so commonplace....

>And again, I don't know whether I should go all the way and be a good boyfriend to her?
I mean, I hope for the best. I don't know any better. I am desperate for her. I only know that if I stay passive, I will regred it. And I know that I would rather be depressed than to regret a shot I could've taken. Everytime I try to be an asshole, I cannot do it. My feelings are simply too strong for that... I know that for a few weeks at least I simply cannot be with someone else intimately.

>Honestly, I have no idea how he treated her but from what I've heard
She was a mistress without know it. He cheated on her and lied about her wife and his kid. He lied to her all the time. I never understand how she could gave him a 2nd chance after she was with me. I am telling you, I snapped in half when I found out about this...
>>
>>19145738
i have of course i have they know and they can't do anything about it either they feel as powerless as i do in this fuck i'm sorry this is a fucking nightmare i'm sorry
>>
>>19145749
Can't do anything about what?
>>
why you ignore me
>>
>>19145762
Because you ignore me.
>>
>>19145744
>This is a relationship oxymoron. How in the hell can you have nothing in common and spend HOURS in bed talking about stuff?
I don't know. I just don't know, anon. I can't fucking understand that girl, but it only points me to the fact that she was literally forcing herself to come up with arguments as to why she doesn't want to be with me. But why was she forcing herself? I have no fucking idea.

>She said that I woudn't be able to give her everything in bed as well
That in a way too. But it only came up when she'd say that after all those other guys, how one of them (big guy, large cock) would just fuck her brains out. Still, she'd claim she's had some of the best sex with me, he was just better.

>Overall I think most of the excuses were just a miscommunication or simply too short intimate relationship to develop all things we needed.
Yeah, exactly. It was shit that could very easily be ironed out and we'd work together PERFECTLY. But she just doesn't want to accept anything less than perfection I guess. Perfection that she'll never find.

>I don't understand how is it possible, to find someone on an anonymouse image board that is dead, someone feeling exactly like me in 90% of my relationship things. Within MINUTES. I never thought this shit is so commonplace....
Yeah, lots of coincidences like this in my life recently. And you'll probably be surprised but I've been talking about this shit here and on r9k for the past few... months, and always found at least one person like you. That's a terrible thing if you ask me. So many bad women out there... And to be honest, it's partially what happened with her too. I was so surprised I found someone so quickly who understood me so well.

cont. I'm sorry I'm making such long posts
>>
There is this girl talking online with for about a year. I realized recently that I have romantic feelings for her, after I got jealous when she said she may like another guy. She is a bit older and we haven’t met, since we live in different countries. I used to believe that it’s weird to love someone you haven’t met but after the daily chest pain, my constant thoughts about her and inability to sleep because of those two, has changed my belief. Before meeting her my life was in the shitter, I had to stop my professional tennis career due to a leg injury, and combining this with my afterwards awful university grades made me consider suicide daily. I lost all of my gains due to poor nutritional habits and lack of exercise using my leg as an excuse. After talking with her for this year, I have gradually seen an improvement in my life. I started going to the gym, my grades improved, I started eating properly and finding meaning to life generally. So, some days ago, I confessed to her that I liked her. I expected a flat-out rejection, and I could accept that, regardless the pain I would go through. The problem is when she didn’t really reject me, but couldn't believe that I liked her, but she felt weird and bad (due to reasons) and decided that she wanted to minimize her contact with me. This pained me to no end. For the first time in my life I got drunk, only to be able to pass out and forget for a while. I accepted her offer, because most of all I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or bad. The day afterwards, she contacted me and told me that she was like a mean bitch, and didn’t want me to stop talking to her, but I know that every action has a consequence and she still feels weird, so we don’t talk as we used to be. What do I do /adv/, I am afraid to returning to a lazy slob but I really love her. It’s my first time feeling something like this. I had never cried before due to emotion like this, even when my grandparents died.
>>
>>19145744
cont.

>Everytime I try to be an asshole, I cannot do it.
I can. And I think I was for a bit. And I keep feeling like I'm only making things worse. All other anons keep telling me that she's a lost cause and there's no point going for her. I won't have her back. No matter what I do at this point, it will be bad. I'm not even afraid of going back to the loneliness. I just don't want to lose HER. Because she's like a drug. She makes me feel good, even despite her being bad for my health. Like with any drug, the withdrawal is a nightmare. And so is here.

>I never understand how she could gave him a 2nd chance after she was with me.
See, that's one thing I'll never understand. I've never been that guy who gets the second chance. Who'd be loved so fucking much that the girl would literally drop someone else in my favour. I never understood what the fuck do these guys have about them that makes them so desirable that a girl who gets everything from me, who apparently likes me and enjoys me, still drops me and goes for him.

>I am telling you, I snapped in half when I found out about this...
I know how you feel. When I heard about it I've literally fucking fell ill and felt like vomiting. And apart from that I'm still incredibly depressed. I sometimes have periods where I'm like "fuck it, I'm done with her", but then next day I see something related to what we'd talk about and I want to text her. And meet her. Watch a movie together or something. For fucks sake I'm even trying to get her out of all this shit by giving her alternatives like making music with me. She seems to like me and my music and the idea of this thing but it's not really working...
>>
I'm feeling romantic feelings again and it scares me. It's been years since I let myself do this, and I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready yet. Or if I'll ever really be ready.

God, if you're out there, it's in your hands now. I'll do the best I can, and you make sure everything else shakes out the way it's supposed to.
>>
>>19145770
>she was literally forcing herself to come up with arguments as to why she doesn't want to be with me
She cried 3 days straight when she was ending it with me. I spent those 3 days with her trying to convince her not to end it and she didn't want to have any of it. It was the worst I've felt in years.

>Still, she'd claim she's had some of the best sex with me, he was just better.
After first night spent together, she couldn't walk normally for 2 days. And she ended it because I couldn't give her something in bed? I mean come on.... I was just warming up.

>But she just doesn't want to accept anything less than perfection I guess. Perfection that she'll never find.
Maybe it was because she had all of it. She had to focus on such minor details and nitpick the most petty things. When she was dealing with cheating bastart, it was easy and fights helped to iron out most of the stuff...

>That's a terrible thing if you ask me.
Realizing how shitty I feel about my situation, it is downright depressing to know there are tens of thousands guys feeling just like me and thousands feeling far worse than me.

>I'm sorry I'm making such long posts
I am here for you man. Let it out, you cannot hold it inside. I know I am anon with no face or name, but you know how I feel. Work on it.

>And I keep feeling like I'm only making things worse.
This is what I fear. I would never forgive it to myself if I drove her away because I couldn't contain my emotions or couldn't think straight...

>All other anons keep telling me that she's a lost cause and there's no point going for her. I won't have her back.
I cannot say anything about this. You know how you feel. You have to know if she is worth it or not. If your heart said yes, then keep on it. Be there for her, make it work. Slow and steady.

>Because she's like a drug.
...............

> I've literally fucking fell ill and felt like vomiting.
I didn't eat for 2 days normally. It was all hell. Mood swings all the time.
>>
>>19145749
What's going on?
>>
>>19145252
Sorry, I left the house for a while to visit my parents.

I don't really know. I could take a guess or two but they're longshots.

I really don't want to say it's the problem (or for it to be the problem), especially since it sounds like an excuse since I can't change it but the only objective thing I know that most would call a black mark against me is my height. 168

Aside from that there's wishy-washy shit like "just haven't met the right person" or "not X enough" (insert confident, kind, funny... whatever attitude/personality trait you most prefer to point to if you're the kind of person to do so).
>>
>>19145831
>She cried 3 days straight when she was ending it with me.
I have no idea how she felt when we've ended it but I think she felt nothing. Maybe just a bit bad but I doubt she cried.

>After first night spent together, she couldn't walk normally for 2 days. And she ended it because I couldn't give her something in bed? I mean come on.... I was just warming up.
Literally the same here, although we've had many more nights. Wonderful nights. She came so many times with me.

>Maybe it was because she had all of it. She had to focus on such minor details and nitpick the most petty things. When she was dealing with cheating bastart, it was easy and fights helped to iron out most of the stuff...
Maybe you're right. But why the fuck would she start coming up with any of it in the first place? I literaly remember one of our first meetings when her exbf texted her and she said "oh wait anon I have to text him something or he'l think I don't want to talk to him again" after which she texted "sorry, hard day at work today, I'm off to sleep now" and then we went on to fuck... And suddenly she changed her mind and wanted him back. Fucking why?

>I am here for you man. Let it out, you cannot hold it inside. I know I am anon with no face or name, but you know how I feel. Work on it.
Thanks. This is what I need. To vent to someone, who understands me. Shit... she was that someone to me as well for a while. And I was to her. I think it's why we've bonded in a way. Although that was... after the breakup.

cont.
>>
My heart is shattered. I don't think there's any way to repair it this time.
>>
>>19145831
cont.

>This is what I fear. I would never forgive it to myself if I drove her away because I couldn't contain my emotions or couldn't think straight...
Which is why I'm starting to seriously consider just ghosting her. Just to never ever initiate a conversation again with her. And to not respond to her messages. Just leave without a word. It won't burn the bridges but I won't have to deal with her anymore. I'm scared of doing it and know that it'll be retardedly hard to force myself not to message her but this seems to be the only way for me. I can't keep this up and I feel like I'll never have her. Right now I'm just another tool to her, just something that she can use to make herself feel better and then discard me until next time.

>You have to know if she is worth it or not. If your heart said yes, then keep on it. Be there for her, make it work. Slow and steady.
She is worth it. It's just that I'm fully aware of the fact that even if we'd be together, she'd probably eventually leave anyway. And I don't see how can I make it work at this point. I'm so at loss now. My biggest wish is go back to how we were when it was good but have her be a different person who wouldn't leave me and wouldn't fuck other guys. We'd be perfect together. That would require a fucking miracle though. Hell even her admitting to being in the wrong about it all now, would require a miracle. Her wanting me back too. I just wish there was a way to let her know that fucking other men is only destroying her life even more.

>I didn't eat for 2 days normally. It was all hell. Mood swings all the time.
I didn't eat right for 2 weeks. Mood swings even longer and even my parents noticed that something's wrong with me. I've only been getting better since the beginnig of the year but it's still very hard for me.
>>
lol, did she get a DNA sample to see if I was the father?

What, exactly, did the doctor say when she saw the results?

>Holy shit, this "guy" isn't even human.
>>
>>19145854
Sorry to hear that Anon. Give time to time and take care of yourself.
>>
>>19145869
Also, they did a catscan didn't they?

They thought a fungus was taking over my brain. The results came out "fuzzy" with little bits all over it.

Boy when they learned that those were just biological nanobot antennas growing all over my brain I bet they shit themselves. It's telepathy, baby!
>>
sorry boss, but now ive properly looked at your accounts I can see your company is going down the shitter.
you need to cease trading now and wrap things up before the bills get worse and you lose your house.
sucks but hey thats life.
>>
>>19145848
Aw, you need to find a tiny cutie like me. My ex was shorter than you and so is my dad. I think what they have in common was that they made it a non issue. They both act confident and never seem small. Fortunately you can work on all those other issues.
>>
>>19145853
>I have no idea how she felt when we've ended it but I think she felt nothing.
How did it happen? Over messages? For me, she came to deal with it in person. Which is why I love her and hate at the same time. I know she is special and I know she is worth it, for now.

>Wonderful nights.
Every single one was wonderful. And it bugs me to death...

>And suddenly she changed her mind and wanted him back. Fucking why?
I don't know man. This seems like you need to be firm with her that she cannot lie to you. I think she may be omitting some information from you.

>Shit... she was that someone to me as well for a while.
Good times....

>And to not respond to her messages.
You will regret this man. Maybe for some time, take a break, but not forever. But then again, if is months.... maybe it is time to make a move. What does your heart tell you?
>>
>>19145882
>How did it happen? Over messages? For me, she came to deal with it in person. Which is why I love her and hate at the same time. I know she is special and I know she is worth it, for now.
We'd normally text daily and a lot but all of the sudden she'd become distant. I asked her what's up, and she said she feels lonely and bad. I asked why does she feel lonely, she said it's because she's not with her ex and because she still loves him deeply. This, coupled with the fact that she's fucked another guy recently because her retarded friends got her drunk, made me decide to end it and I went to her place and in person wished her all the best for the future and told her this is the last time we meet... And then some short time later I called her up to tell her that I can't really forget about her and confessed all my feelings to her, to which she responded that we just can't be together and gave me all the reasons I told you before.

>Every single one was wonderful. And it bugs me to death...
Same here. I vividly remember every single one of them, and every meeting, every conversation we've had. Minute by minute, word for word. Funnily enough, so does she, except for the fact that she doesn't seem to want it all back.

>I don't know man. This seems like you need to be firm with her that she cannot lie to you. I think she may be omitting some information from you.
I don't know... Can I even get anything from her at this point? Am I entitled to things like that? Right now we're friends at best... Nothing more really. In her eyes at least.

>You will regret this man. Maybe for some time, take a break, but not forever. But then again, if is months.... maybe it is time to make a move. What does your heart tell you?
I don't know... My heart tells me that I want to be with her but my rational mind says I should not pursue her any further. She is a very broken girl and I just cannot fix her. I really wish I could I genuinely deeply wish I could but I just can't.
>>
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(Britfag so college is what you americans call your last two years of high school)

I have been bullied all my life and so have developed severe social anxiety and depression. It's getting to the point that i can't function properly in everyday life because i feel like im being judged 24/7 even when not in public.

The only time i leave the house is when i have to go to college which is the most painful thing in the world, im always depressed and want to sit and do my work quietly without having to talk with anyone. But im in a small college meaning classes are only sized from around 3-6 people and i have to act like im mentally stable to avoid looking like 'the weird kid' when in class.

It really doesnt help with my emotional state because i have to bottle up my depression and pretend that everything is ok. In reality it only makes me more anxious whenever i speak because the anxiety comes out in my voice and i feel like i've made myself look worse whenever i pipe up.

Today i lost internet in my house along with TV much like the entire city for some reason. My only friends moved college two years ago so i only talk to them occasionally over discord however in my regular time i'll just watch anime. Today i realised how much i cling to that just to keep me sane just by distracting myself from the fact of how depressed and alone i really am, my brother is really popular and i feel like im a disappointment to my teachers and my family.

I've only ever had one girlfriend who lived far away and broke up with me after a few months. Whenever i go on holiday i completely change my personality to make friends and i feel that this exhausting method is the only way i can actually be liked. Sometimes i want to just kill myself but am too much of a pussy to do it so instead just cry myself to sleep feeling that even existing is the hardest thing to do.

You dont have to reply i just wanted to get it off my chest because ive been feeling worse lately.

RIP me
>>
>>19141755
It's over, but I'm too scared to let go.
>>
man, he really gets paid for that shit? He didn't even do anything. Just looked at other people's content.

People call me lazy? Say that I rely on the very little donations I get so I can pay the little bills I got? Fuck you. I put in more work than you assholes combined. I have spent tens of thousands of hours painting. TENS. OF. THOUSANDS.

I use to stream but I don't anymore because there is no point in it. I know this is all fake. it doesn't matter what I do, I can only earn what little money they let me earn.

But come the fuck on. People don't call netflix a scam. They don't say netflix is lazy. You pay a small amount of money for a service. AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO FUCKING PAY ME TO WATCH MY SERVICE. BECAUSE I'M FUCKING COOL LIKE THAT.

I don't monetize my videos, so it's totally cool that I play music. When people pay, they are paying for the PSDs or released VODs (which I will then remove the music. I should be a fucking lawyer.)

It's fine art. Fine artists are a career. It's a thing that exists. I don't understand why it's a problem when I do it. At least I am CREATING ORIGINAL CONTENT. I'm doing something that very, very few people in this world can do. I don't require someone elses content to make my work. (though I do use pictures as ref. This is a limitation of money than anything... which is again, your alls fault.) I don't review movies, I don't review games, I don't do commentary of other people's content, I make my own fucking content. Which is inherently of more value.
>>
>>19145489
Talk to them so they can help you in your journey.
>>
Loving you is hurting me so much... I'm sorry if I take it on you, it's not your fault.
>>
how long did it take you fucks to realize "well, he is actually really depressed. He's not kidding."

Like, legit depression. Broken mind kind of depression. Life long depression. As in, I was depressed even as a kid. I cried almost every night in highschool. The entire time.

Same for college. Same for after college. I have ALWAYS wanted to fucking die.

How long did it take you to realize that the typical meds didn't do fucking shit?

Could have saved some time and just fucking asked me. Yet still, you fucking retards think the meds are the problem. Yet, you have definitive proof that you're wrong, you still fucking push your own retarded ass agenda on me. Are you egotistical? Are you actually just fucking stupid? What is it?
>>
Laying here all I can think about is you. I miss being with you, I miss talking to you, and I miss having fun with you. Please reach out to me, still you are the first and last thing I think about. Hell you are all I think about.

Let's fix this, please don't throw away so many years. I'm too miserable to get out of bed, I just want to talk with you.
>>
>>19145754
this needless fucking misery i'm being put through

>>19145832
somebody in distress is hurting me and my distress is hurting others and i can't help any of the people i love be ok and i can't help myself be ok i'm so sorry please make this stop how do i make this fucking stop
>>
I genuinely don't think I'll make it to my 30s because I'll kill myself. I don't think I can keep up this life and getting my ass kicked so badly by it.
>>
>>19146146
No.
>>
When I call my boyfriend he never picks up. He doesn't call me back and he hasn't called me himself in a long time either. Yet he has no problem voicechatting with friends and calling his family. I feel fucking shitty about this and I've told him many times. Yet no change. We've been together almost 2 years. At this point I've become so desperate for a solution im even willing to text his mother for answers.
>>
Every girl I was ever interested in chose "cock carousel" over me.
>>
I know you got drunk and cheated on me in college. I know you fucked a black guy. I have pictures of it because of your bitch roomate.

I married you anyways, and 10 years later I still have those pictures, and I still jerk off to them.
>>
>>19146402
No? I doubt you are my person.
>>
>>19146326
First, don't isolate yourself from them. Second, seek help from a psychiatrist. After you feel better encourage your friend in distress to see one too.
>>
>>19146490
But if you are, don't keep me around and then never speak with me and intentionally avoid me. It isn't okay when you don't let go, but don't want to make things better either. It causes needless pain.

You said you wanted our lomg friendship to remain intact, I do as well. So do something about it instead of acting like I never existed, because I care about you and miss you. I was never mean or awful to you, and I was always there when you needed me. I did everything right and you can't say the same, as you were the one who chose to hurt me and destroy years of wonderful times. I am not mad at you, but please stop pretending you are a victim and make a choice instead of hurting me.
>>
>>19146500
The alternative is find out why this person is in distress, it could very well be they feel abandoned or it is related to your distress. In that case the whole problem is much easier to solve.
>>
>>19146424
Fuck it im doing it. Maybe someone other then me might get through to him.
>>
a good friend of mine has lived the exact life i wished i had lived
as in made friends with people i all admire but don't speak to, fucked every single girl i've had a crush on
and he has no idea
its just so fucking weird
>>
I can't believe I live in such an unjust mean horrible place and I think this every day I wake up
>>
>>19146653
I've known men that slept with all the it girls and they (the men) Were just slags, there wasn't anything special about them.
>>
I legitimately have no problem with being a KHHV, and being alone in general for that matter. This does make it difficult to sympathize wirh those who cry themselves to sleep every night over being alone. Should I try to be more caring, or...?
>>
>>19146722
Nah
I'm in the same boat as you and I have to say we're both blessed with the ability not to give a fuck about the company of other people. If you did, however...you'll get people clinging onto you and asking for attention you can't possibly give
It's much better if you care but put a distance between you and those types of people
>>
>>19146715
i just don't get how he's able to command the attention of multiple girls while i still find myself nearly crying in the early AM over a girl whose virginity he took because no other girl seems to care about me
>>
>>19146769
>command the attention of multiple girls whil
A shallow sycophantic person that fauns on people and is manipulative in my experience. Remain chaste and steer clear of these types.




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