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/adv/ - Advice

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Girl at my workplace started talking to me recently and pretty blatantly hitting on me. One day she kissed me while we were alone in the lunch-break area and we made out for a while then. It was fantastic. Never really had anything of the sort happen to me, so spontaneously. I liked her from before, even though I only knew her from just seeing her around the building. There was something about her that always pulled me to her, but I didn't really bother with it, because I had no idea what she might think about a stranger just coming up to her out of the blue.

Then this happened and I was feeling great.

Until a friend of hers came at me and told me I'm an asshole for ruining her relationship with her boyfriend. Of whom I knew nothing about before that point.

Apparently, day after she made out with me she told her boyfriend what happened and broke up with him to pursue things with me. Yesterday, we talked on our lunch break and she says she wants something to happen with us two, and is sorry for tainting it with her cheating on her ex, but I'm not really sure what to do now. She says she's going to give me space and not bother me for as long as I need until I come to a decision on what happens next.

I've never had any experience with cheating, none of my friends cheated or got cheated on, come from a pretty normal family, so I'm really clueless when it comes to shit like this.

If I do start a relationship with this girl, can I actually trust her not to cheat on me at some point? On the one hand, she came clean with her boyfriend. But coming clean doesn't negate the fact that she still cheated on him. And even if I'm flattered in a fucked up way that someone like her likes me, a part of my brain is telling me to stay away.

So the bottom line question is this: try to have something with her or take a pass?
Tell that dirty whore to take a hike
She kissed you and then ended it.

Like 9/10 times if someone cheats I'd be like, abort... But that's honestly pretty harmless and she seems to be taking it seriously.

If you like her, go on some dates with her.
Quick story:
I adopted a cat a while back.
He was surrendered by his owners because he kept having accidents. Peeing on their beds and stuff.
Thing is, they didn't treat him very well. They got him declawed. They went on long vacations leaving him alone. They locked him out of rooms. Stuff that makes cats unhappy.
But I've had the little guy for a while now. I treat him good. And guess the fuck what! Not a single accident.

The point is: people don't cheat in good relationships. I'm not saying your relationship with this girl will be good but hey, if it isn't, who cares? Her cheating, in the end, wouldn't be much different then her just breaking up with you.
She’s a slut, fake it and fuck her rough and hard, then ghost her forever.
Say you wanna see how things go

Fuck her, don't catch feels and hunt for pussy on the side that you feel is loyal and worth comitting to.

Yeah, that's a point in her favor, I'll admit it. She didn't go further than kissing. But she still didn't let me know about her boyfriend before and hit on me like she was single.


I'm sorry, but that sounds like horseshit to me. People seem to cheat in any kind of relationship. And being in a bad relationship shouldn't excuse cheating, in my opinion. I mean, people aren't cats, you're not locked inside,you can leave at any time you want.


Yeah, I don't work that way. I don't get involved with people for whom I don't feel anything. It's just not how I work. I mean, yeah, I fantasized a ton of times about just fucking some good looking girl, without any sort of attachments, but IRL it's different.
If a girl monkey branches to you when her old relationship is stale she'll probably do the same thing to you. I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue her, I'm just saying that after 3-4 years when the spark is gone she'll be open for other guys while still being with you and telling you that she loves you. If you know that this will come you can handle it better
Pass, if she cheated on one guy with you, why wouldn’t she cheat on you with someone better looking/ with a better job/ better in general?
I would be more worried about how quickly this happened than her kissing you at work while in a relationship.

I know this is an ego stroke for you but she developed a crush pretty quick without really knowing you and acted on the crush. That doesn't make you special but it proves her capricious nature. If you are foolish enough to want a relationship she'll likely return to her bf (if he falls for her bullshit) once the new wears off after you fuck or she'll develop another crush on another coworker or new acquaintance and she'll break up with you. This girl should be single.

Please keep things in perspective OP. If it wasn't you it would be another guy and for all you know this isn't her first nor her last.
That particular cat was neglected before, and for some cats they just need more love.
Some cats are good natured no matter their circumstances, and some will piss on your curtains and cheat on you no matter what elaborate cat castle or mouse toys you buy em.
You don't have anything else so why the fuck not, see where it goes.
She cheated and then killed her relationship?

If her friend was sticking up for the guy, I'm guessing he was decent. If it was a brief thing (they were dating for a month or two) it's whatever I guess, but if it was a long term relationship and she did that, she's probably a terrible person who will do the same to you. I've met a few women who do that kind of thing, and they're all repeat offenders who jump from guy to guy every time they get bored, leaving a trail of heartbroken, depressed men behind them.

Fuck her (not literally but as a person). Don't date her. Feel free to fool around and let her catch feelings and then return the favor by abruptly leaving her. Might cause your job to become awkward though.
Break up. If a girl cheats she's already a vapid whore who has no faith. If she cheated on him, she will cheat on you once the next big guy comes along, or she just gets bored of you.

Cheaters don't deserve love anyways.
I don't get why being in an exclusive relationship has to happen so quickly for ppl on this board. What ever happened to taking it slow and getting to know one another?

Don't just start a relationship with a girl you hardly know. Even if she hadn't outed herself as a cheater, that would be a bad idea
Aren't you worried that it would make your workplace rather awkward? You both work at the same company, so whatever drama you have will be carried into your work, is that something you want?
Of course its get to know her first. She broke it off with her boyfriend because she wants to try with op, that's actually acceptable unlike trying while still having a boyfriend which is unacceptable.

Dump or get cucked, OP. As simple as this. It's part of this particular girl's general attitude to go look for a new guy, try out the goods then leave her previous bf. You're gonna get attached and you're gonna get hurt.

>I don't get why being in an exclusive relationship has to happen so quickly for ppl on this board

What ? You mean you're into dating a girl who's still fucking around other dudes in the meantime ? How romantic !

I get the " don't get involved too quick, get to know the person " part, but being non-exclusive while you date is degenerate.
>she had a boyfriend but was aggressively flirting with me
>she never told me she had a boyfriend until I found out from a different person
>she only broke up with her boyfriend after she kissed me and I responded positively

Yeah, she seems like a nice, trusting lady OP. If she had any decency she would've broken up with her boyfriend before starting to pursue other relationships. If she had any intention of being honest with you she would've told you about the boyfriend before kissing you. To me it seems like she wanted you, but wasn't sure whether you'll go for it so she kept her boyfriend around and planned to only break up if she closed the deal. Once you found out she has a boyfriend she had no choice because she thought you wouldnt be OK with flirting with her knowing that she's in a relationship. At this point she was fairly sure she could get you because you responded positively to the kiss so she broke up with the boyfriend.

She sounds like a manipulative, lying cunt. I wouldn't interact with her in any way that the job doesn't require me to. And even there I'd be careful. But hey, you do you.

According to the same friend of hers that told me about 'breaking them up', this is the first time she did anything like this, so that's why she came to me and tried to blame me, because she never did anything of the sort.


When I say recently, I'm talking about the past month. Sorry, I probably should have been way clearer.


>If her friend was sticking up for the guy, I'm guessing he was decent.

No clue if that was her reason, she just came to me, as I said a bit above in this post, because she thought I was the one responsible for breaking them up. They'd been together for about 5-6 years, I think.

>Might cause your job to become awkward though.

Not really. We work in the same building, not the same company.


We're not together to begin with. Plus she's giving me space to decide whether I want to go on or just break off. I think she realizes her cheating is something that could entirely dissuade me from actually dating her.


Like I said to another guy in this post, we don't work for the same company, just in the same building. There's only a few break rooms in the entire building, and only one on the floor we happen to work on.


> If she had any decency she would've broken up with her boyfriend before starting to pursue other relationships.

Yeah, that's my biggest fear. What happens if one day she feels off about our relationship and does this to me? I mean, we're not kids exactly, we're both 30, so I'd rather avoid spending the next several years with someone who might just dump me out of the blue while cheating on me in the process.

I think the biggest reason why I'm so wavering on this, trying to think that she might be a good person that did a one-time horrible thing, is because I rarely actually crush on anyone. I think it might have happened once before in my whole life, even though I've been in plenty relationships.

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