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/adv/ - Advice

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I'm having a mental break down. I'm convinced everyone is against me and I'm not going to make it out of this alive. Please help. I don't know what to do
keep your head low and move forward
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Realize that reality is even worse

Nobody cares about you, nobody knows you even exist
I really, really wish that were the case
The obvious. Get a councilor. They can help you from there.
I've been going weekly for 4 months. Nothing is working.
Is there a reason for you to think this?
I had a nasty falling out with a former friend that I had several mutual friends with
Two options
1) something happened to make you extremely suspicious and maybe you don't even know what. Find that thing and address it calmly
2) you have a chemical issue that increases paranoia thoughts. Pills are the way to get a clear head.

Everyone has someone that wants to fuck them over, so rest assured you can deal with it, cause everyone else can. The key is learning who's really trying, and who you only think is trying.
Sometimes it's guilt related too. You feel deep down like people SHOULD be out to get you, cause you fucked something up.
But don't forget, people forgive.
>I'm convinced everyone is against me and I'm not going to make it out of this alive.
Life is fatal condition anyway
I do have paranoid thoughts. People have told me in the past "You're just paranoid man". I create stories in my head based on events that could be completely innocent. I twist things into worst possible scenarios all the time. I constantly worry about people talking bad about me behind my back, when in reality I shouldn't care. I constantly think other people are mad at me.

This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but I'm using it as an example. If someone who usually watches my story on Snapchat doesn't view one of my stories, my mind automatically starts racing. "Why? Have I done something wrong? Has someone told them something that made them angry with me?"

When in reality they were probably busy with other stuff or just didn't see it.

I know this sounds crazy and I'm embarrassed to admit I have these thoughts. But they're thoughts I have.

And thank you for that last paragraph. That's perspective I didn't have.
Don't be embarrassed man, admiting it is a step in the right direction.
The thing is you are creating overly complex plots in your head, when reality is generally much simpler. As you said, a person that didnt check your Snapchat story probably just didnt have the time to, instead of just randomly deciding he hates you.
>The thing is you are creating overly complex plots in your head, when reality is generally much simpler.
Yeah I hope that's the case. Sometimes I try to convince myself that's the case. But it's not the reality I've made for myself. It's torture.
just bumping for any more insight. if not that's cool but thanks to this thread i feel calmer now
You have a lot of anxiety.
Do you have any formal diagnoses (I'm guessing social anxiety over generalized anxiety disorder but perhaps even bpd)?
Are you on any psychiatric medication?
If not, I would seriously consider seeing a psychiatrist and getting on some kind of benzodiazepine.
And if you've been going to therapy for 4 months without any results, try to get a new therapist that you can kinda jive with better.
Good luck, op
I know how hard anxiety can be.
I know that people has been saying "calm down, things are a lot simpler than you think, you are not the center of the world, do therapy, you have anxiety, you overthink, you're going paranoid". But I can relate very well because I had a similar experience and I still can't trust anyone.

I feel somewhat similar. Years ago, there was a nasty breakup after years of manipulation. I got scared after I realized the things she had been doing for years. And she made my friends' heads in such a way, they turned to her side and all lied to me. I still have other friends but I find it very hard to trust anyone, since they knew her as well. I can't trust my family either, for different reasons, but she may have poisoned their heads as well. And every weird thing that happen in my life gets me wondering if it's calculated or if I'm actually going paranoid. I can't trust anyone and I'm going nuts.

I wish you the best. I have been isolating myself further and finding harder to do things that require more people because I can't trust anyone. I hope it doesn't come to this point for you.

You're putting too much faith in others; never attach yourself to something or someone that you can't walk away from in 30 seconds or less.

Religious people have been taught faith and loyalty, maybe associate with them; try different groups of people. Youth and the average joe will not be trustworthy.

Don't live by anyone else's standards, and don't violate them either; we're individuals for a reason.


The first recommendations I have for you are lifestyle tips: learn to meditate, walk, work out, and listen to something or someone with perspective (a lecture, a podcast, a memoir, anything.)

Learn to appreciate life instead of scrutinizing it; you're not going to change anything or anyone by worrying about it.

If that doesn't work, you need to put yourself into social situations. Go to clubs, meetings, or community events and flex your muscles. Social skills need to be developed.

If that doesn't work, I recommend therapy lastly. Talk to someone who can give you perspective and maybe medication if it's a brain problem.

You seem overwhelmed. Just have a day where you walk or roam, alone. Get perspective.
Hey thanks for responding, seriously

I haven't had a formal diagnosis. I have social anxiety disorder definitely, but more importantly I think that it's generalized anxiety disorder. I realize you should never diagnose yourself through the internet, but I hit every single "symptom" of generalized anxiety disorder. I know I have it. It's not just limited to social situations. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to die for no reason. My mind gets stuck in endless loops of worrying.

I've never tried a medication but I'm on my second therapist and both of them have recommended going to see a primary care physician and talking to them about being medicated. I'm just scared (even about that) because I'm worried what psychoactive drugs will do to me.

And I trust my therapist and she understands me. The therapy almost always helps, even if I'm a train wreck by the time it's time to go see her again. If I didn't have her, I don't know what would happen. I'm so fucked in the head and afraid of everything. I'm sitting on my couch, alone, and my legs are shivering. Anyways, seriously thank you for responding. I'm not doing well right now and the thought of a stranger taking time to help me means a lot.

>And she made my friends' heads in such a way, they turned to her side and all lied to me.

This is almost exactly what I'm going through. She's turned certain people against me. Or at least I've convinced myself she has. Just want you to know you're not alone. I relate to your situation and I'm glad you responded
Thanks. My therapist has turned me onto meditation and it definitely helps. I used to work out at the gym 4-5 days a week and it would be my favorite part of the day but lately I've been so afraid of the world that I've become a recluse to the point of being afraid of going to the gym or even going outside unnecessarily. Makes it worse because I'm in a new city, which means new gym and new everything. Should be an exciting opportunity and I was initially excited but I've carried certain things with me from past friendships/relationships and they've translated to me being afraid of the world in general.

I understand I sound like a huge pussy and completely mental right now. I get it. But this is my reality

Nah see, I didn't think that about you at all; I wouldn't trust someone who didn't go through such deep reflection on themselves.

You're trying to find meaning and truth in your life, that's all.
Thanks. I think the problem is the reflection on myself runs a little too deep. I wish I knew how to make it stop
Something similar happened to me recently, he fucked me over and I overstepped my line in reaction. I didn't like the idea of him being in my friend group, got me paranoid that they'd talk behind my back(and when people talk behind others back, they don't consider it gossiping so they wouldn't admit to it) or justify what he did and making me the bad guy, and just the idea of him hanging out with my friends made me angry.
I didn't feel comfortable with having any connections with him, so I told that to my friends, some of them reacted badly saying I'm being selfish, some understood.

So I lost like half of my friends, big whoop.
If your paranoia is caused by something, then resolve that issue first. You're not going to feel calm when your life is a mess, unless use drugs.
>I realize you should never diagnose yourself through the internet
thats not totally true, it helps the psychiatric to underestand what do you think you have and why just that mere words
>I'm just scared (even about that) because I'm worried what psychoactive drugs will do to me
the medication wont change you; you take it, it helps you if not you go back to the normal self (its a theraphy so take it seriously)
take care
OP here

I woke up so nervous and anxious that I threw up. Man I'm a wreck.
Um, this is random but what month and day were you born?

Also totally relate although I've never let myself get to the point of throwing up over people who betray me. Fuck that nonsense
You need to stop believing that things and people just happen to you. You have more control than you're willing to believe. Stand up for yourself. Get what you want. Believe in yourself. Fight for your happiness. You can do it
If those friends could be turned away by one manipulative person then they were never really your friends. As for that friend that turned your other friends away from you, be extra glad you're now rid of that person and next time you honestly reflect, take mental notes on what you missed about that person that likely were red flags that that person wasn't good for you and examine why you let that slip past your guard. Did you put them on a pedestal? Did you think they were better than you and so you deserved to let them mistreat you? What needs to change? How can you better protect and love yourself? What don't you accept about yourself that's hindering you from meeting the right people?
Nobody is against you. Everybody is for themselves. The only way to get a friend is to be a friend. The only way to gain trust is to earn it. That's not the world conspiring against you, that's how the world works. Look at life like a play, and yourself as a character. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Let yourself come alive and breathe, and enjoy what you have, while you still can
June 1. Why?

Thank you
These are the things I need to here right now
Don't ever lose hope. There's always a way if you're willing to look for a solution. You do deserve to be happy. You may not believe it right now. I know it's hard to. But you must if you want to keep going, which I suspect you do - otherwise you wouldn't be looking for help. Happiness is within your reach, remember it's not the end goal, it's the attitude and mindset that will give you the strength to continue your journey through existence. Don't ever lose hope. That you have anything to lose is an illusion. Nothing is ever yours to begin with
Thank you
Practice self care troubleshooting. Ask yourself questions like this:

When is the last time I ate?
Have I drank water?
Have I taken medications today?
Have I been sitting still, or should I take a break from moving about?
When's the last time I got fresh air or a little sun?
When's the last time I washed myself?

Attending to physical needs can stop a breakdown in its early stages, in my experience. Even if you aren't *actually* dehydrated or restless, the act of forcing yourself to stop and assess things can help stop and distract the sick thoughts. You can do this.
Yeah that's a good idea.

Thing is, when I'm nervous and worked up like this, I can't eat. That's how extreme it gets - to the point of vomiting.

I'm going to keep all these in mind though because I'm never capable of grasping the present.
Dont take meds, meditate DO NOT TAKE MEDS. GOOGLE SSRISTORIES OR PETER BREGGIN. I beg you dont do it, that is the reason I started coming here, I had two very important ppl change. One killed themselves the other tried to destroy me, now the friend that is alive, can barely make sense of what happened. Things are better, maybe it happened for reason. Good lord man get your life together without ssris. Dont be a numbed up person, embrace and overcome.
One killed himself after taking SSRIs?

Because that is why I'm afraid/hesitant of talking to a doctor about being prescribed them
OP here. I just wanted to thank all of you for the incredible insight you guys have provided

I can honestly say I feel better
calm yourself

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