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How dumb am I /adv/? Long story incoming

>be me, 24
>at a party, mid December 2017
>old friend from middle school brings his sister
>didn't know she existed until now
>her and I kinda click, get drunk together
>party ends with us drunkenly making out
>don't here from her other than a mutual friend telling me shes sorry for how she acted
>2 weeks later, new years party same house
>she comes, eager to see me
>night ends with us having sex in the back seat of my car
>fast forward another week, we continue to communicate
>actually go on a date, things are great
>but she reveals that shes leaving temporarily out of state
>decide we shouldn't get too serious because we don't know how long she'll be out there
>continue having a sexual relationship, things are still good
>for all intents and purposes, we are a couple

Here's where problems start to arise
>I realize she gets set off by the smallest things
>gets upset when people ask if we're bf/gf
>takes it out on me by being distant

This sums up the weekend before she left. Things were weird. But wait...

>comes back for first visit
>still acting stupid towards me
>ask her what's wrong but she won't tell me
>obvious indifference whether she saw me or not during her stay
>the weekend before she left, she asks to hangout
>explains her reasoning for being that way
>okay it's fine
>last night in California, we're all hanging out, shes all over me

Continued 1/?
>>
>>19573053
I think its a good experience for both of you and you should take it easy have a good time,give her the dick she wants and have fun I guess you are just fucking it's the best possible relationship you could wish for bf/gf is kinda kiddy Ok have fun
>>
2/?
So now to the last time she was here:

>while she was away, we made several plans for her next visit
>the first weekend she was back, we spent together
>I spent the night with her, everything was good
>2 days later, she tells me that there's drama brewing amongst my friends
>they are unhappy that I'm spending time with her
>this includes her brother, who was apparently the most against it
> I've never known my friends to be gossips, nothing adds up
>she asks me to talk some sense into them
>confront then, tell me it's not true
>who ever her source was is trying to start shit
>she gets butthurt again, same as last time, blowing me off, being distant
>despite that she agrees to go to the movies with me and her brother the last sunday she was here
>acting funny, but still acknowledging that I'm there
>hadn't planned on seeing her after that
>but an event came up that I invited her to the next day
>as expected she said she couldn't go
>follow up by asking if her and I are okay
>doesn't say yes or no, but recognizes that I did nothing wrong

Now to the most recent stuff
>we go 3 days without speaking
>finally reach out to her
>talking casually
>try to make plans with her for when she comes back
>bitchy reply implying shes not interested
>at least that's how I interpreted it
>snap at her, reminding her I did nothing wrong
>realize I shouldn't have said anything and take it back
>"sorry, had a stressful day" etc
>her reply: "I don't want to add to your stress. I know it's not your fault"
>I reply one last time "you don't add to my stress, talking to you takes the stress away"
>or something stupid like that
>no reply

Anyways, she seems to get on these cycles (haha) of loving me and hating me. I don't want to keep bugging her but I know she won't reach out and I'd like to see her when she comes back. What do I do?
>>
>>19573117
Fuck other women besides just her.
>>
>>19573117
I am not the best guy when it comes to ladies but I think you love her and she have the same thing probably
So you have two options
>1.tell her how you feel about her try telling her that you care for her
>2.don't do anything and let her go regreting it
Go for the 1st option even if she rejects it will still be something funny to remember
>>
>>19573090
It is but it sucks too. I'm not opposed to just the sexual relationship, but a mutual "attachment" was established really early on.

So like yeah, we agreed to not be a couple but everything about the way we both went about it initially screamed relationship. If that makes any sense.

Now there's complete uncertainty since shes unwilling to talk about what's wrong.
>>
>>19573146
Go for it then ask her to be your significant other ok tell her you love her ok its ok if she rejects it will make you moraly better than her at least and she will be the one feeling guilt do it
>>
>>19573137
I've told her that I care for her plenty of times. Or at the very least I've shown that I do and she knows it. She has even reciprocated those sentiments, in the passed.

Option 1 right now doesn't seem viable. I don't want to drown her with my feelings, plus love is strong.

There are mutual feelings, that much is clear. How she handles stress is beyond me though. I think option 2 is the route ar the moment
>>
>>19573053
I get the impression that maybe she wants you to gf her and wants more commitment from you. Either that or shes disatisfied with the relationship and is trying to end it.
>>
>>19573163
ask her what's up and stop trying to being vague about her actions, fuck that's annoying
>>
>>19573230
I've considered the idea that shes dissatisfied with the relationship, especially the first time she came to visit. But then there she was looking for me again a few days later.

I don't know what to believe. It was just last night that she told me it's not my fault (for why shes acting the way she is) and literally just a few days ago that she tells me, and I quote "I really love spending time with you and I really like you"
>>
>>19573376
Man, I've tried that. I cant get a straight answer from her without coming off as super desperate and/or autistic. Last night was a good example.

Where she stands right now is she feels the need to separate herself from our group, including me (even though she doesn't blame me for anything...ugh) all for stupid reasons that any logical thinking human being could have brushed off.




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