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I'll try to keep this as short as possible:

>Lotus Elise is attainable dream car
>bought one early 20s, owned and daily driven for 4 years, love it to absolute death
>been dating gf for 4 years
>she hates car, makes no secret about it, would often wish aloud that I would replace it with something more comfortable

>lately she has been hinting more and more that she thinks it would be a "good idea" for me to replace the car with some boring toyota camry type shit as it would be cheaper and more practical for our future together

I want to marry this girl, she is the only girl I've ever thought that about. We are on the same page about having kids - which is that we don't really know if we want them but it's not a hard no - and none of our finances are actually shared. We live together, each pay half our expenses, which means that we each have a tidy sum of savings. The next steps in our relationship are marriage and property ownership, which is 100% doable for me with my finances as they are, ridiculous sports car and all.

She brought up the car again yesterday and we are now fighting about it. I got angry about the fact that she is trying to passive-aggressive me into selling it, and compared selling my car to her giving up her favourite hobby. She couldn't see the comparison and called me ridiculous etc.

We can afford the next step in our lives even with the car. It's more expensive than a conventional car to own and run, and I spend about 1 day per month working on it to fix little things that come up, but I am a car guy and I immensely enjoy the work. In other words the amount I spend on the car is completely worth it as far as I am concerned.

I am 100% willing to break up with her over this. I haven't said that to her of course but I think she felt it when we were arguing yesterday.
>>
>>19666707
>fighting over a fucking car you already own
what a shitty couple

To be fair, you're a fag for having that car and shes a bitch for pressuring you to scrap it for a basic bitch mobile.
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>>19666707
Dont you sell the car. Tell her to buy her own damn car.

Tell her to stop bothering you about the car. If ahe brings it up again dump her ass.
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>>19666718
Seems logical
>>
Keep your car and your hobby Workin on it. Sheath a bitch and doeant reaper the love an never will. Be happy and dump the thot
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>>19666742
Drunkva bit. But in a happy relationship with no kids and a house owned
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>>19666715
You’re a fag for thinking he’s a fag

>>19666707
You’re totally right to dump her.
>>
>>19666718
She owns a car, she's just not into cars and doesn't see why I am willing to pay 3x the upkeep that she does. And to be fair I'm still about 7 months away from paying off the rest of the loan I took on the car.

I think the disconnect here is that she imagines I'll be able to free up finances to get approved for a larger mortgage and therefore a bigger house, because she has the usual materialistic idea about owning a giant house whereas I'm more interested in a small house because that's more in line with my own life goals.

We also have different views on money. She likes to gather it though I've never really seen her put it toward anything while I'd rather spend it and enjoy my life.
>>
Just be real with her. This is your thing. You take great joy in this, and you won't be the same person without it. Ask her to really tell you why she wants you to get rid of it. If it's about getting a bigger house, work on a plan on getting a house. See what you guys can actually get with what you have, without selling the car. Work together and find a way.

If you go through these steps, and I mean really go through them, and she still won't let you have something that gives you happiness, then there will guaranteed be bigger problems ahead.
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>>19666707
its me or the car argument?
>>compremise then.
i think get what she is hinting at
>>she wants you to sacrifice your "toy" for happiness with her...
i get why you love the elise with its sharp handling and snap oversteer.
BUT its not a practical car if you want to start a family and a baby dont easily fit in a lotus...
>>see what she is trying to hint at now?
if you want sex again get rid of the lotus. can always buy a fast 4 door car thats practical like a caddilac cts-v or amg wagon.
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>>19666747
what's the market value of it currently vs what you'd still have to borrow to get a new/recent basic bitch car?

have you pointed out that difference to her? even if a basic bitch car is "cheaper", you still have to pay to make the exchange
>>
Honestly I'd tell her to fuck off. If she can't handle it, leave her. If it isn't the car, it'll just be something else.
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>>19666772
>>see what she is trying to hint at now?
Yes, it occurred to me that maybe we aren't actually on the same page about kids, that she either pretended to agree hoping to change my mind later, or has changed her mind since we talked about it (about a year ago). If that's the case then I haven't changed my mind. I'm still more of a no than a yes on wanting kids.

>if you want sex again get rid of the lotus. can always buy a fast 4 door car thats practical like a caddilac cts-v or amg wagon.
It's not about how fast a car goes for me. Explaining what I look for in a car is kind of irrelevant but suffice to say that if I wanted to replace the lotus with something that provided me with the same amount of joy, it would very likely end up being something 30+ years old or otherwise equally as impractical.

>>19666776
Paid about 32k, it's worth about 38k now. The capital gain is less than the upkeep but that doesn't worry me. If I were to replace it with some boring shit box then I wouldn't be wasting my money on buying new. I'd buy something 5ish years old and spend no more than 15k on it, which I'd be able to pay as a cash sum after selling the lotus and have no loan to speak of.
>>
Today it's the Sudetenland tomorrow it's all of Czechoslovakia. You can't appease entitlement.
She feels entitled to more of your money and time if the relationship is to progress. It's probably insecurity talking in her subconscious along the lines of 'if he won't give up his car he's not really into me or having kids' that comes out as general irrational rage.
Stonewall her but make it clear you're committed to the relationship despite this.
I can't stress enough that if you appease her on this she's going to use this as a shit test to relieve her own insecurity for the rest of her life. If you don't give up X, Y or Z later on well then you're just not really committed to her and she was right to worry all along.
>>19666772
Your taste in vehicles made me gag on my coffee.
>>
>>19666707

Looks like a really gay car. Her behavior is probably directed more towards your vapid outlook on life than the comfort of the car itself.

T. Carfags should off themselves. A lot of dudes out with their pride and joy old muscle cars this summer and they smell like shit.
>>
>>19666707
If you are willing to end your relationship over something insignificant like getting rid of a car that has nothing to do or even pertains to her, then that's a pretty shitty relationship. Tell her to drop it, you both have issues but more so her. She's arguing over something that doesn't involve her. If she doesn't like the car tell her to get her fucking own.
>>
Since she owns her own car, you're not being unreasonable.
Tell her how you feel if you haven't done so already; how much pleasure you take into fixing and taking care of your car, how it was a dream of yours to own one, etc. If she's still being a cunt about it, then beware.
Do you have any similar issues with her?
>>
>>19666863
The relationship is otherwise solid, she seems to have become stuck on the car. Evidently it represents something for her that I just can't see. And it's not like she's putting her foot down and saying 'me or the car' but she wouldn't win that ultimatum just on the principle of the thing.

>>19666866
We don't have any outstanding issues that I'm aware of. Maybe I need to revisit the conversation about kids.
>>
Is there a way for you to keep both?
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>>19666915
>Maybe I need to revisit the conversation about kids.
Not a bad idea. Good luck.
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>>19666948
I'd rather keep both. I'm not really sure she'd come out on top of a me-or-the-car ultimatum though, if it ever comes to that.

She hardly ever even rides in my car any more. When we're going somewhere together we take her car about 80% of the time, and I still do the majority of the driving. Of course I drove us around when we were first dating but it's just not true anymore.
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>>19666707
Enjoy fucking your car? Or find a new girlfriend that doesn't mind you having a car. Or get a more practical car. Those are your options.
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>>19666915
I'm telling you bro, it's insecurity.
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>>19667049
You mean just general insecurity about the relationship?

Which would make it really just a shit test to see if I'm whipped/committed the way she imagines I should be?
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>>19666707
I don't see what the problem is materially. Get a Toyota and keep the Lotus. The Lotus will stay intact longer if you don't daily it.
>>
why doesnt she get a bitch car herself? never marry a golddigger
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>>19667094
>>19666747
>>
>telling someone to give up something they cherish and love

Relationships are fucken dumb. If it's something that isn't self-destructive, let people live. Christ
>>
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>>19666747
>I'LL be able to free up finances to get approved for a larger mortgage and therefore a bigger house
>SHE has the usual materialistic idea about OWNING a giant house

Something isn't adding up... She wants to wager your finances for her possession? Sounds shady and generally shitty.

In the situation where her logic plays out:
>you sell the thing you love
>you apply for a larger morgage
>you legally own a more expensive property (generally meaning more space/luxury)
>YOU NOW HAVE TRADED YOUR CAPITAL ESSENTIALLY AS LIQUID FOR A CAR YOU DISLIKE LARGELY BY COMPARISON TO YOUR LOTUS, TO A LARGER HOUSE WHICH DOES NOT ALIGN WITH YOUR WANTS/NEEDS
>She gets to say she owns a bigger house
>She will never drive your car because it was the finances behind it and "practicality" that is driving her to try to drive you to sell it

Dude... There is literally no outcome that you maintain dignity and self-respect, much less any real enjoyment other than keeping the car and telling her that this is really non-negotiable.
>prove me wrong
>>
>>19666707
sell the car and you'll loose her respect

don't do it op
>>
It literally doesn't matter her rational for wanting you to get rid of your car, nor does it matter that some of us think it's a dorky car, it is 100% the principal of the matter.

It's your money and your car, you can do what you want with it. She's allowed to not like it, as you're allowed to not like something about/of her, that is just how people are. However, if she starts to really push the issue, she's in the wrong and you'd be in the right to give her marching orders. People might think you're crazy for giving her the boot but it's about her respecting your thing and not trying to control your harmless lifestyle (it's not like you're a drug addict and she wants you to quit). Plus you'll be done paying it off in 7 months which is no time. Even in the long term, if a baby becomes a thing, you can just get a cheap people-mover and keep your car in the garage until the weekend or whatever.
One day a month on maintenance is not an unfair amount of 'you' time and even if it's more expensive, it's clearly your hobby and a hobby will almost always be at least a moderate money sink.

This is coming from someone who isn't into cars at all.
>>
Just spitballing here, but do you think maybe it’s a fear of you injuring yourself in the vehicle?
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>>19666707
Do not sacrifice that car for pussy, anon. If you do than you are fucking retarded. Tell her if she brings the issue up again you will dump her, and follow through with your word, because if you don't, than she knows she can win any argument with you, if not directly than by attrition.

Or just, you know, dump her for a girl that respects your hobbies and interests.

The stupid things a motherfucker will do for that pussy....
>>
>>19666707
STOP.

You can still have a sports car and also a "4 door family car hurr durr"

Options off the top of my head:
M3
M5
Chevy SS
Charger R/T (SRT8 if you have brass balls)
Holden Commodore
Subaru WRX/ Legacy GT or Spec-B
Lancer Evo
Holden Commodore or Ford falcon if you're down under.
Kia Stinger GT (Cue the memes)
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>>19667227
Could be, I guess. It's not something I ever worry about. All my life I have driven tiny cars that would be absolutely destroyed in any kind of collision. On the other hand I have never been in an at-fault accident.

I'm at work at the moment boys but if this thread is still up in a few hours I'll update it on the situation once I've spoken to her.
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>>19667281
Alternatively pull the real alpha move and buy a Viper.
The marriage destroyer™
The American death machine™
The crisis that makes sure you don't make it 'till midlife™
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>>19667286
Please offer to buy a sedan and just get a sports sedan. If you can afford it a Chevy SS/Pontiac G8 looks like a Malibu but drives like a Camaro.

Alternatively a new WRX STI or an EVO X looks like a Camry and drives like a miata.
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>>19667281
The only one of those cars I'd consider owning is an M3, and they're pricier than what I've got now. Assuming her problem really is with the money, that gets me nowhere.

I really am not a fan of muscle cars, and the evo/wrx thing never appealed to me.

None of those are performance cars in the way the lotus is. Small and light and handles perfectly is my idea of a good car. It could have a toaster for an engine and I wouldn't care as long as it met those other criteria.

>>19667293
Are you suggesting I buy a second car? I don't see why since we have no need of one and it'd just be another car for me to maintain and I would never want to drive it.
>>
From my understanding it is more the hobby than the car.

You need to sit her down and flat out telling her that you enjoy having the car cause it is one of your hobbies. If she doesn't understand that then tell her you will find another girl that will.

This is just a red flag for me. Now if you were planning for kids the car has to go. See if she changed her mind about that.
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>>19666707
lol it looks like someone got in a front end collision with a real sports car
>>
I'll tell you what I told my friend that is about to marry his increasingly bitchy gf and ruin his life: if she doesn't like what you do now, she is going to like it even less when you're married. She has to respect your hobby and you hers, within reason. You aren't collecting women's panties, you own a car.

What most people will tell you, and they're right, is that after you get married most of your spouse's habits and opinions will only amplify. My wife became more vocal about things and got more comfortable being messy around the house until I politely told her to stop being a fucking heathen and clean up after herself because I wasn't her God damned maid. Other than that, we've been peachy for the 7 years we've been together. She had a slight issue with my gaming and car habits, but I told her to feel free to find someone who didn't do what I did. Seems like a really asshole thing to say, but it's the truth. If she doesn't feel like the car is worth compromising on so she can enjoy everything else about you then she can fuck right off and find some cuck that drives an appliance. My wife immediately dropped it and that was that.

Now, my friend is going to marry a girl that openly refers to him (and us, his friends) as "losers" to our faces in front of her friends (a bunch of vapid middle class frauds with leased bmws that make less money than we do) because we like to play video games and watch livepd in our free time. It's too late for him, you still have time to make this decision a good one.
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>>19667064
Yep. Which is ironic because it's a self fulfilling prophecy in that it drives men away.
>>
fuck i'm just reading this nonsense and fuck what's wrong with girls
come on isn't it a child trauma of cars WHAT THE FUCK
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>>19666707
I think she had made rational arguments for why you should ditch the car.
But it is your hobby and she shouldn't stop you from doing things you enjoy.
It seems like she wants more money so she can have kids, and you want a sweet car.
Maybe you can find a cheaper car you'd like or find a way to make more money.
>>
car over everything tell that bitch to sush and enjoy the drive
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Fuck man. Thats a nice car.

You need to tell her youre keeping the car, and if she wants a man who listens to her insane demands there's the door.

Just be realistic with yourself as other anons said. The car is a shit test, she'll take the arm and the leg, then cheat on you.
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>>19667592

God amongst men.
>>
We're back for an update lads.

Managed to talk to her about it without it turning into shit flinging. Anyone who said "she wants a kid" give yourselves a pat on the back. Lucky for me I had the whole afternoon to prepare my speech so I acquitted myself well.

Things I said:
>I regret letting it turn into an argument
>I don't like how you treat me regarding the car and I feel that, given you're hardly ever in it, you don't get a say in my ownership of it
>the car is part of the broader hobby, but it is also a possession I treasure highly
>you know I don't care to own more than a few things and one of the things I choose is the car
>there aren't many circumstances under which I'd consider selling it while I'm still enjoying it
>giving up the car would be like you giving up the jewelry making
>as far as my math goes we will still be approved for enough money to afford a modest house between us

Things she said:
>I'm sorry that I've always given you such a hard time
>you have to admit it's not practical
>there is no room for car seats
>>please note she dropped that one on the sly, like I wouldn't hear it
>we won't be able to afford to keep it along with a 3rd car once we own a house

I pulled her up on the comment about the baby seats and she said she was still on the fence about kids but felt more and more like she wanted them. I told her I was still not really interested in kids, that if I were to have kids with anyone it would be her, but that I've never once had any kind of urge telling me that I want to take that step.

I have no idea where we're going from here to be honest. I'm keeping the car at the very least, and I think that at 26 I am in a good position to make the call and say I don't want kids. Obviously this is less of an issue for me than her since there's no time limit for me on changing my mind. meanwhile her ovaries are whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

We agreed we'd talk about it more another day.
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>>19666915
I wouldn't say it's solid mate. It first starts with the car, then could move on to other things. The more you wait on resolving the issue, the bigger hole you'll dig yourself into. Either have a conversation that it is one of your hobbies and giving it up will change who you are. If she makes issue with that, then tell her that she is moving way too fast in the relationship. I understand you like her, but it should be mutual. Not one way.
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>>19666915
There’s something you aren’t seeing. Go see a counselor together. Help you both to understand why you’re jeopardizing your relationship over a car.
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>>19667815
>>19667811
Mates >>19667802
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>>19667802
>cant afford to keep it and buy a house
A) it's got a Toyota engine so bullshit because it's basically the same engine that's going to be in the dinky Corolla
B) dont buy such an expensive house

If $2-300 in maintenance a month (which it won't even be that) breaks your budget then you're living beyond your means.
>>
>>19666715
Fpbp
>>
lmao would much rather have a lotus than some roastie bitch
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>>19666707
How about this...
...How about she buys the fucking car SHE WANTS. Just because you're together doesn't mean you can't be financially independent. Couples that tell their partner how to spend their money sicken me
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>>19666768
This OP!
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>>19667846
You're right that the engine doesn't cost me anything. I service it regularly and spend up to $100/year on engine oil. You're also close on the money for how much parts cost me. It cost me $400 in parts for CV boots and some drive shaft seals two months ago when they needed to be replaced. It cost be $150 for a roof latch when one broke. It cost about the same for a central locking system. It costs me about $1500 more per year to insure than the appliance mobile she wishes I was driving for the sake of the hypothetical baby she apparently now wants.

Also it's not fuel efficient. I drive it like a sports car and put 98 in it. It's expensive compared to a regular car, and what she was getting at was that I can't afford to keep it AND own a third, practical car that can take a baby seat.

She's right. Financially speaking it would be better to get rid of the car if we were going to have a baby. I'm not interested in babies, which is why I find no issue with affording the car and the house.
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>>19667885
why do you need a house if you don't want children?

they're not very good as investments and sooooo many people make money off of you
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>>19667901
Property is a good investment where I live so long as you choose carefully. But that's not really my personal reason, I'm more interested in having a little bit of land that would provide me space to do some small scale farming projects. I love to cook and fresh fruit and veg is incredible, and I would love to be able to supply a large amount of my diet with things I've grown myself.
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>>19667921
You sound like a really cool dude. I'm not into cars but appreciate your passion, I also love to cook and also want to grow fruits and vegetables one day. I like you man.
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>>19666707
You can have two cars though. No need to get rid of the fun car. Or is it a garage space thing?
>>
Good job standing your ground. If you give in on this the demands will never stop until you're some unhappy shell of a man with nothing to call your own but the garage only for her to divorce you anyways and hook up with a man who can't be led around like a leashed dog.
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>>19667947
Thanks man.

>>19667965
The lotus already costs me more than any two normal cars combined, and I know it's ironic coming from someone who owns an unnecessary sports car, but I'm not a big fan of excess. I allow myself things that make me happy, like the car, but am otherwise a stalwart minimalist.

>>19667967
I'm starting to wonder if she has been rubbishing my car all these years to try and mentally soften me up for the part where she does an about face, announces she wants a kid, and tells me I have to get rid of the car.
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>>19667993
>about face

Nice, I'm about to get out and attend undergrad. I think my girlfriend and I are in a similar predicament. I'm scrapping my rb26 datsun idea for a more well rounded/safe one post grad. For now I'll probably pull the trigger on an e34 525i/5

I'd like to save money to put elsewhere for now, like the car fund :^)
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>>19666707
>be chick
>be scrolling through /adv/
>whoa nice Lotus Elise, that's my favorite sports car
>read thread

Man, I'd stand my ground on this one. Fuck having kids and getting rid of something you love that you already own.

Out of curiosity, is your model stick or auto? How high can the seat sit so you can see the road? Could a short chick be able to see behind her without contorting her entire body? I struggle to drive a lot of cars because I'm short. I've always loved the look of the Lotus Elise, but I've yet to find someone who drives it to answer these crucial questions.
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>>19666707
I only read the green text because the rest is irrelevant. Ignore her bullshit about your car. Women do this crap all the time. You're not asking her to replace her stuff? Tell her you're not discussing it ever again and hold the line. If you can't do that, then you're a beta bitch. If she leaves then you were going to get divorced anyway. If she lives you, she won't leave.

Ignore her about the car. She can get the fuck over it.
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>>19666707

>he doesn't see how the GF lied and just waits for her opportunity to saddle him with kids but wants him to be 100% on board so she won't end up a single mother so the car has to go, the last thing tying you to your bachelorhood


Fucking kek. You got a lot to learn kiddo.
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>>19666747
Didn't read past 7 months. 7 months is close to paying off and she should be happy to have a guy that can pay off his damn cars on time. Once again, ignore her about the car and tell her to get herself over it.
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>>19666915
Again, didn't read much here because it's not relevant. Ignore her. Tell her you're not interested in discussing it. Be firm and slightly aggressive about it, but not rude. This is a major opportunity to take control of YOUR HALF of the relationship. Women want to rule both halves. Don't let her. Tell her that there will be no more discussion, explanation, apologies or compromises on the car.

Say these things to her next time she mentions it. See if she doesn't fuck your brains out that night.
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>>19668276
Bump so that this woman’s very important question might be answered.
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>>19667993
If you love her, have a child with her. You need to accept that she will want this more and more as she gets closer to menopause and eventually you will lose her if you don't give her a child.
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>>19667131
It’s most likely her friends, they tell her OP only drives to to get girls... other girls love yo fuck with people’s relationships...
>>
>>19666707
Hold your ground on this and never concede. Control her a bit more, honestly. Relationships are 50/50 but not in the way you think, a man and a woman each bring something separate to the table, and while each are worth as much; they are still different. This is the type of thing you have to put your foot down on as a man. Don't even let her get away with the passive aggressive crap either. Just completely ignore it, or confront her on it every time she tries that bullshit. More importantly you guys need to plan exactly how the budgeting is going to work. You can't just split all expenses up 50/50 between the two of you. You need to sit down and make a combined budget both of you can agree on before you even think about marriage; anything else is setting yourself up for divorce. Financial problems are the number one cause of divorce in the US, so keep that in mind. You have a lot more than just the car to work out with this girl, the car is just the catalyst for it. It's gonna be turbulent, but if the relationship is strong it will make it' if it doesn't just be happy you dodged that bullet.
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>>19668276
It's a manual transmission. I firmly believe that automatic sports cars should all be put in the bin.

Can't answer the other stuff really, sorry. The seat doesn't adjust up or down as far as I can tell, and the interior is all a pretty tight fit so I don't even know if you could adjust the seat brackets to give you more height (wouldn't recommend doing that anyway). Visibility is pretty okay but I am 5'11 king of manlets and it's not an issue for me. The C pillar is quite in the way but I have previously owned a similar car and am very used to it. Even I have to contort my body to do useful shoulder checks. So long as you're paying enough attention to the road it's nor a problem to take your eyes off it for long enough to do that stuff.

Try going to a local lotus car day and since you're a girl I don't think any of the owners would have a problem with letting you sit in it.
>>
>>19669423
I don't want a kid, not at this point in my life, and I won't bend my stance just to make her happy. The idea of saddling myself with someone who is going to take up a good deal of my attention for the rest of my life just to please someone else is a solid 'no' from me.

>>19669431
Ironically her friends love my car. I hear it frequently and have taken all of them for a spin in it several times.
>>
I don't even think it is a reasonable thing to even think about selling the car if you don't want. The car that you I quote
>love [it] to absolute death
is not the thing that is even at the forefront of this argument. It's the simple fact that you would let something that you love for her conveniences' sake, she will continue to nag you for things you like or like doing, just because she doesn't like it. I am not letting go of my car just because a bitch told me and I don't think you should, too.
>>
>>19669640
>let something
I meant
>let go of something
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>>19667921
you're better off buying a cheap lot out in the boonies, your suburban soccer mom associations won't let you grow shit, and will probably shit their pants if they see the lotus out on the driveway on jackstands
>>
>>19669660
That's one of the things we're in agreement about. I've done more homework than her on this and she trusts my judgement, but basically I've got three suburbs pegged as areas that will experience significant growth after a couple more years of staying stagnant. All of these areas offer larger blocks but with smaller, slightly older houses.

Of course I'm thinking that I'll have 1/4 or 1/2 and acre to build a greenhouse for aquaponics and maybe a shed for brewing beer and she's thinking that we'll be flipping houses and getting our own TV show. It's actually one of those inside jokes that I keep with myself, because I'm the one with all the handy skills and I once watched her try to drill a hole in the wall to hang a clock and she literally couldn't hold onto the drill - it had more torque than she had arm strength - so what she means is that I will be flipping houses and she will be picking out paint colours while the rest just happens around her.
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>>19666707
The car will stay forever with you, as long as you treat it well.

The woman will leave you as soon as you have kids, no matter how well you treat her.

I don't know, man. It's up to you. Just to remind you: this is heels over wheels
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>>19666820
Keep taking that bus snowflake.
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>>19666820
Are you jealous that they have a joy in life?
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>>19666820
You don't know how much I'd love to hit your bike and run you over. Bikers are closet faggots. This is fact.
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>>19666707
Never wager your personal finance for another person's potential gain. It is a dead end and she is a piece of shit for thinking this way.
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>>19666707
how in the fuck do people just BUY cars in their early 20s? what the fuck do you do?
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>>19666707
Explain to her in words similar to this thread how much you like the car, how much working on it brings you joy even though its technically 'worse' than having an appliance car, tell her how much you like driving it, how its your dream car, etc etc

if she still says sell it, she doesn't care about what brings YOU joy, and only wants you to exist as an accessory to her, filling all the 'husband' roles that she needs filled for the sake of having a life that looks good on social media

Honestly from reading the thread you guys think very differently about a lot of big things, like money and house sizes
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>>19667773
Thisssssss

You got the dick don't be a pussy
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>>19666707
Get the fuck out of that relationship.

It starts with your car but she'll want to control everything on your life later.
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Dude, sack her off. If she doesn't like that car she needs to see a shrink.
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Find something of hers that she LOVES and ask her to get rid of it, like her hair straighteners or her makeup :-/
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>>19666707
You can't change your hobbies and passions. You cam change your girlfriend. It may seem perfect because you're compatible on 99/100 things. But that one thing is too important and you will be miserable with a wife that controls your hobby. You'll find someone else, anon.
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>>19666707
Don't be a bitch and give in.
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>>19667306
I was suggesting you buy a family car and sell the lotus but considering "MUH handling" is your only consideration there aren't many options. CTS-V, Alfa Gulia, or Porsche Panamara maybe and for the love of god don't buy a Beemer.
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>>19666707
What's stopping her from having a practical vehicle or you from owning two vehicles?
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>>19669782
Nothing special. I work in marketing and though I'm smart and very good at what I do, at an entry-level job it doesn't make much difference. In the lead up to graduating uni I got the cancer and spent 18 months of my life dealing with that, finished my last class and graduated. As an aside, being an inch away from death at 20/21 offered me (and still does, to some degree, especially when compared with people like my gf who have a strong naive streak) a perspective on life that fresh graduates really couldn't compete with.

Other than that I was living at home and had no real expenses to speak of, so I saved 10k easily within 12 months, took out a loan secured against the car for the rest over a 5 year term, and bought the car. Doing all my own work on the car saved me a tonne of money too.

>>19669784
>you guys think very differently about a lot of big things, like money and house sizes
This is the naive steak I am referring to. She is still very much involved in the romance of ideas like owning the white picket fence and having the high powered jobs and travelling the world and all that jazz, whereas I am involved in minimising stress and maximising happiness. I've had enough stress for two lifetimes.

>>19670011
Again, it's hard to explain. Handling is high on my list but I am also interested in the character a car has to offer. Finding a sensible car with character is literally impossible in my price range.

>>19670156
As I said above, the lotus costs me as much as two cars would already and I am not a fan of things done in excess. If I were put in the position of having to either sell the lotus or own a second car, I would sell the lotus. It's a personal philosophy thing without a strictly rational explanation.
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>>19666707
Why is this shit still up when I already gave you advice yesterday. Fuck.
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>>19669540
Local lotus car day, huh? Is there some kind of site, organization, or reddit that organizes/catalogs these things?
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>>19670226
>I would sell the lotus. It's a personal philosophy thing without a strictly rational explanation
Whatever the excuse sounds like you two can't afford to keep the lotus and be financially responsible, its a nice car though.
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>>19666707
Buy her a civic for 2 or 3k if she's so set on getting a more "comfortable," car. Otherwise tell her to fuck off, or buy her own. Making her buy her own, assuming you aren't married yet, is the best option. Only retards by their gf a car, or fucking sell their dream car for their satisfaction.
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>>19670472
As I've said a bunch of times, we can afford both. We can definitely afford a house in the price range that I have in mind, we probably even afford a house in the price range she has in mind. What I discovered yesterday though is that she has apparently changed her position on having kids, or that position has shifted a bit and when she claims we can't afford the car and the house, she's factoring in the cost of children to her mental maths.

The short of it is that selling the lotus would put ~5k/year back into my disposable income pool, which could become savings or be directed toward a mortgage repayment. This is 100% undeniable truth either way. I would sell the car for a reason that I believed in. Having kids is just not a reason I believe in because I do not want them.

>>19670467
Check the Lotus Talk forums, there's a meetups and events section. Also just check google for local british/euro car days and lotus specific club events (almost exclusively populated by old guys who hate it when a young guy owns one). Facebook is worth a look too, search for a lotus page local to your area or state and see if they have any events scheduled.
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For the love of god save yourself and leave this woman.
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>>19666707
Sell it so you can buy the Exige
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dont give up the car man, especially a lotus Elise, I you damn well mustve worked your ass off to get a car like that.

make some kind of compromise and get a beater civic/ hatchback. but dont give up the car man. like I literally dont get that she doesn't get that the car that your have is your hobby and asking to give away the car youve worked your ass off for; your dream car no less, is completely disgusting.

stay firm my dude, keep your dream car
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>>19666772

I mean like, its not like op cant not get a cheap ass daily driver for his kids and keep the lotus for fun
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>>19666820

t. bikefag too full of himself
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>>19666707
Do you have the money to own another car? I'd say get the kind of car she wants you to have to use when you two are together but keep your Lotus too. Don't keep it a secret but tell her you're doing your best to compromise with her. If this isn't good enough, you know your answer.
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>>19666707
Listen here fucktardo, the hypothetical kids are the biggest shit on your table now. Don't listen to women they can't into reason, but what she has right now is a need to make a nest and breed, and you're the provider.
If the provider likes fucking around with expensive toys, the nest and the babies get to eat less and have a worse life; she hates this unconditionally and sees the car as a direct threat to her and her kids (that she doesn't even have yet) and sees you as a frivolous small house owning cunt that won't give her kids the American dream up bringing.

So it's either dump the car buy the house make the kids, or keep the car, explain to the thot that the kids are gonna grow up just fine in a smaller home and she can suck it, or dump her and live a free life.

Make the fucking call, and it's not the car or girl, it's the "how much money I wanna invest in the upbringing of my children".
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>>19666707

It's more than reasonable to have and keep things that are important to you. Even in a long term relationship a person is entitled to personal dreams, items and hobbies. If she refuses to acknowledge the car's significance to you even when it's obvious, it's a sign that she might ignore yor opinion on other things too. This might be just the first manifestation of her intention to control you and your life. Tread carefully. I'm broke as fuck and own an outrageously expensive violin anyway and if my SO ever tried to tell me to get rid of it, I'd break up with him too. There are some items in life that are more important than money, especially if they've stayed with you for a long time.
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>>19666707
If the car is not holding you back from a future together, then there is o reason to get rid of it. You bought it with your own money, yeah? Tell her that she should buy a Toyota Camry with her own money if she'd like one so badly.

I think she would be justified in expressing her opinion if this was some huge inconvenience that would prevent you both from starting your life or something, but if this is just her preference vs yours, then she needs to chill bc it'a your money and your car.

Try to give her an example she'll understand, bc she will probably say something like "you choose that hunk of metal over me!!?"

Say something like "sweetie, imagine if you had a dog/cat before we met that you really loved. How would you feel if I demanded that you get rid of it- not because I was allergic or anything, but because I simply didn't like it? Don't you see how that is unfair?"
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It's a test.

>>19670884
>you choose that hunk of metal over me?
OP, she is choosing to give a fuck about what kind of car you drive over your relationship. She's basically stupid.
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This is actually indicative of a much worse problem. She has an issue with the sports car bc she wants a big house and kids and to give them good opportunities and take vacations and stuff.

It sounds like you are NOT about that life. That convo is much more important than the car- the car is just a symptom of that disagreement on lifestyle
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>>19669782
I bought a car at 18, then changed to another one at 20.
Just buy used.
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>>19666796
>Today it's the Sudetendland tomorrow its all the Czechloslvakia
Perfect quite spot fucking on I'm going to start using this. Thank you anon
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>>19666707
>I want to marry this girl, she is the only girl I've ever thought that about. We are on the same page about having kids - which is that we don't really know if we want them but it's not a hard no - and none of our finances are actually shared. We live together, each pay half our expenses, which means that we each have a tidy sum of savings. The next steps in our relationship are marriage and property ownership, which is 100% doable for me with my finances as they are, ridiculous sports car and all.

>>19669549
>I don't want a kid, not at this point in my life, and I won't bend my stance just to make her happy. The idea of saddling myself with someone who is going to take up a good deal of my attention for the rest of my life just to please someone else is a solid 'no' from me.

you do not sound like you are fucking anywhere ready to be married.

you sound like there are many steps of discussion that have been avoided and glossed over, and this car is one of them.
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>>19666796
This shit made me laugh out loud. Thanks Anon
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this is the point where you should start messing with her head. tell her youll sell the car. sell it and buy a motorcycle
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Stand your ground on this or you will not have a successful marriage with this girl. She won't respect you if she realizes she can control you. Soon you'll be shouldering all the financial responsibility of the family, she'll stay home and get fat, and sleep with the neighbor while your at work.
She could really hate the car, this could just be a giant shit test to see what kind of man you are. Either way who cares, stand your ground.
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>>19666707
Get her to sign a prenup.




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