[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice



Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.



File: DZtNDK3XkAAKvOF.jpg (112 KB, 1200x800)
112 KB
112 KB JPG
I can't orgasm when another person is involved. I can only orgasm when I'm masturbating and its super frustrating. My significant other was eating me out recently for a pretty long time and I didn't even come close to having an orgasm, at a certain point I had to start day dreaming about porn I watched and that started to help get me there but in the end I made him stop because I felt bad. I feel like part of what is stopping me from achieving it is because I feel like I take too long and I don't want the person I'm with to get bored or whatever or think that I'm being selfish.

Also, no the problem is that my current partner is unattractive or anything. I actually find him immensely attractive, I even started to think about him when I masturbate which is weird considering I couldn't be in the moment when he was eating me out. What do I do?
>>
>>19770729
With practice, you can get there faster.
But for now, don't tell your bf, it will only hurt him and as the problem is with you, he can't do anything about it.
>>
>>19770729
I wanted to suggest trying new sex positions (each one must learn to pleasure one self in the bedroom unless fetishes play in game/rp) but sounds like therapy would be needed.
You mention porn, maybe you should stop watching it for a while, doing it helped me on my sex life (i had to be porn free for nearly 20 days before I noticed changes and feel more pleasure with my current partner).
>>
>>19770734
The thing is, its not like this is something new. I've been with two other people before and I've had the same problem. What am I supposed to practice?
>>
>>19770742
I barely if ever watch porn anymore either. I think it the last time I watched porn was a month ago and before that it had been like 3 months. When I was younger between the age of 12 through 16 though I basically watched porn daily so I don't know if that messed me up even though I don't have the craving to watch it anymore
>>
>>19770743
I don't know the exact things you need to do, I am not a girl, but I have the same problem.
If it is a physical thing, you could finger yourself while you fucked or whatever.
If it is a mental thing, you could try to bring yourself into the same mindset as when you are watching porn.
A thing I do is watch a lot of pmv or cock hero videos. I can then save the songs and put it on when I have sex. Unless she have seen the exact same videos, she won't know that I try to keep the same rhythm and images in my mind.
It is a lot more noticeable for a guy when I can't cum, but it is not something a lot of people talk about.
>>
>>19770758
*as a guy*
>>
>>19770758
I guess I just feel shitty that I even have to think about like specific porn I watch to even get close, instead of just being in the moment with my partner.
>>
>>19770743
You’re slutting around with too many dudes before achieving a level of emotional intimacy to justify the physical intimacy you’re trying to force, so the sex is lousy. Don’t let dudes at your puss until there’s love, which you’re still too immature to understand.
>>
>>19770764
The past two guys I was with were ones I had dated, one of them being a guy I dated for 3 years.
>>
>>19770763
Yea maybe.
But the whole "fake it till you make it" mentality might actually work here.
Once you have 10 or 20 good sexual experiences, maybe you can think back to those times instead.
>>
first just relax and enjoy it doint think about if its taking long because then your adding to the pressure,,,make sure there is some back ground noise,for some reason if there is no noisde in the room i cant cum,,we put porn on but its mostly for the sounds of other people fucking,..we start off watching it but after we get started its pretty much back ground noise... if not porn some random music just something to help keep your head clear and relax..and there is no rule sliding your hand down there and helping yourself get closer to the big O wile he watches then him finishing you off when your close... each time you it will get easier..
>>
>>19770729
Start by masturbating in his presence. Let him rest his hand on yours and just ride along. You'll get used to his hand and he'll learn what speed/pressure/etc you like.

Then, the third or fourth time you do this, let him take over just as you're approaching orgasm and bring you over the top.

A few times later, let him take over a little earlier, until finally he's doing it all himself.
>>
>>19770729
>I feel like part of what is stopping me from achieving it is because I feel like I take too long and I don't want the person I'm with to get bored or whatever or think that I'm being selfish.
Just possibilities to think about: what will happen if "it takes too long and he gets bored" and why, your attitude;how you view it, learned behavior from your first guy, (current) his attitude towards it, you don't fully trust him, worried about losing him, technique, level of attraction, outside stress or pressure, trauma.
Therapy could possibly help.
>>
>>19770729
have you considered that your partner could do More to get you off? a finger inside while sucking your clit, a full on finger blast.

a big part of sex is just going all out and being patient and enjoying the sex rather than trying to achieve orgasm. theres no rush, but if you think that you're too slow you end up trying to hurry and that will make orgasm impossible for you.




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.