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/adv/ - Advice



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Im so fucking lonely. Im married to the love of my life, have a beautiful and wonderful demon for a baby, but im still lonely. All the time. I cry when i start to think about it. But it seems like no matter what i try to do to take my mind off things, i end up crying. I could pick up a video game i adore or try and do another activity i like, but i wont be able to stop thinking about how alone i am here with my lil demon, and end up crying over and over again. Am i defective? Because other humans can be by themselves and do things around their house without crying about stupid bullshit like this. So why cant i? Whats so hard about it? What dont i get???? Anyone???
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>>19771267
It's okay to cry anon.
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Meet some new people I guess.
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How can you be lonely whe you have a wife and a child?
Genuine question, I don't have any friends or a girlfriend.
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>>19771267
I want to contribute to your bait because it has an Exquisite smell but I'm not smart enough
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>>19771302
Easily. Sit in your house, 24/7 and only have communications with your significant other and child. Oh, and your significant other works 12 hours of the day from 4 am till about 5 pm. You're expected to keep the house spotless, (regardless of how little your other helps because they worked hard all day) no matter how sad or upset you are. Sound like i shouldnt be upset?
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>>19771267
Dude I think of the same thing, and when I was a child I cried about it a lot, in fact I'm still clinically depressed but for the past year I've stopped crying for some reason, I dunno why, maybe I've just become jaded or something. I've also become a lot more nihilistic so that might also have something to do with it.

Note. Feeling alone and feeling lonely are indeed seperate things
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>>19771314
Wait, so you're a woman?
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>>19771323
Yes. xD
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>>19771267
Stop whining pussy. You got a good life.
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>>19771314
>12 hours of the day from 4 am till about 5 pm
So you probably have some time to go out every day or at least every few days to socialize.
Do you or your partner have any friends that you can hang out with?
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He takes the car, and we dont have any mutual friends. So im literally stuck inside unless someone comes to me. And he usually doesnt want to go anywhere getting home tired.
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>>19771327
Your opinion is noted.
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>>19771338
Well explain the situation to your husband, tell him how you deel. Don't make it sound like you're blaming him for anything though, just be sincere.
If you don't have any mutual friends you can meet your husband's friends (and their families) or try introducing your husband to your friends.
Try to get out of the house more, if the child situation allows you to. If only for a walk.
Are there any fun activities nearby that you can bike/bus to?
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>>19771267
How old is the child? My sister was the same way only when her husband came home she would get mad real easy as him, its cause people go crazy being housewifes/ husbands having only a child too talk too all day you need a friend that you can hang out with or a part time job too get you outta the house
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>>19771362
None whatsoever. I live in an area where homeless people are everywhere and people will shoot their guns at whomever they like. So walking/biking anywhere is dangerous. My husband doesnt have friends (nor does he think he needs them) im ready to just give up honestly. No matter what i try to do, nothing changes.

>>19771364
Hes almost a year. Everyone ive ever spoken to and told i stay inside all the time has said that. My husband just doesnt seem to hear it, since its complain complain whenver he has to take me out after work sor anything. Or even if he goes alone, hestill complains.
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(Dont know why there was a name there) my husband doesnt care abiut others. Hes got me and our demon, thats all he needs. He could be fine supposedly being home all day and not seeing anyone. Bht its hard for me to deal with it and when i try to talk to him about it, it always ends at something along the lines of "fine we will just go wherever you want until 9 or 10 at night since you wont be happy otherwise." He loves me, and he treats me well. But he just doesnt get it? Or am i doing something wrong?
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>>19771444
Work probably just tires him out. Maybe try making some online friends?
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>>19771444
>>19771430
Just read your other post under that name. So why are you unhappy with your baby? Do you mean you wish you waited until you were older to have the baby? Why?

As far as your relationship. Definitely try and talk to him and his family about it first. And also don’t give up quickly. My parents divorced and my mom says similar things are why she left my dad, but it ended up creating a lot of massive problems in everyone in our family’s lives and she was no happier in the a new relationship.
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>>19771314
Are you on your period?
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My kid's two and a half now and things got better... but only after I packed up my things and my "demon" and left for two weeks to stay with family. Turns out he was having an affair, with a coworker who had a baby for fuck's sake. Shit was fucked. He could be having an affair and thinks you're a burden now.
Fuck him.
He doesn't value you and your child and that's his problem, he's trying to make it your problem so he can run away guilt-free while you cry all fucking day. Cut that shit out you dumb fuck. Go to your family's house for a while, in-state so he can't say you "kidnapped" the kid. It's hard but if you want your husband to give a shit you're going to have to work for it. BY LEAVING. Leave 4chan forever, no one here gives a fuck about your whining any more than your shitty husband.
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>>19771267
Try formulating a network of people to make a sorta tribe.
Get a family member to babysit once or twice a week and go do a hobby that you can do by yourself but where people also meet to do it to make friends and learn more about it. Or bring the baby with.
Like Knitting clubs or cooking classes
Hell, if youre nerdy, you could take up a hobby like warhammer 40k, magic the gathering, or board games. Just check out shit a local comic book store is doing. As long as you dont mind having neck beards as friends.
If you have a fancy gym like lifetime nearby you could go there and chill in the spa/sana and chat up the women there.
Also, go to church on sundays and meet other people there after the service. Even if youre not religious, just larp and think of it more like a metaphorical set of stories.
If thats still too much, just check out some buddhist temples and think of it as a philosophy. Which it is.
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>>19771267
Also if you need other hobby ideas and things to do that could also result in friends who like the same stuff, litterally just start exploring the boards on here for them. Pretty much every thing you could do for fun and make friends through has a board for it.

Also figure out what your husband and you have in common and would both like to do and do it once a week, besides sex. If its movies, go out and see a movie every weekend. If it's outdoors stuff, go to a state park. If it's vidya, sit down and play a good co op vidya game.
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>>19771551
Im not unhappy with my baby. (That name was an accident, stupid tablet.) He doesnt have a great relationship with his family (or mine) and discussing anything with him is difficult. (As i said earlier)

>>19771564
No, im not.

>>19771567
I can definitely say hes not cheating. But thank you for that advice.

>>19771593
If only things like that existed around here. Ive looked, and found nothing. Plus, no means of getting to them, with the lack of transportation.
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Youre just screwed. Kill yourself.
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Don't listen to anyone else in this thread

This is a crucial time for you to take action so you and your child have a better future together.

You need to leave your apathetic shit stain (emotionally abusive) husband. Even if it's temporary, even if it's down the street. You need to stop crying and get your shit together. You are damaging your babe by showing him/her that it's healthy for daddy to not care about him/her and mommy, and that it's normal for mommy to be sad all the time and that she's helpless. Your baby will grow up thinking this is normal and have a sad, fucked up childhood, and have a sad, fucked up adult life. Pull your ovaries together.
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>>19771567
Dont listen to this shit. Paranoia will only make things worse. He probably just communutes and works long hours.

Just find a SOCIAL hobby to do while hes a work a couple times a week. Read and work on that hobby in the downtimes. Then on the weekends do something you BOTH enjoy to become closer again.

On the weekdays hes tired try doing something chill. Movies, vidya, just eating and have good conversation even. Theres good two player board games too. Twilight Struggle, War of the Ring, Chess, etc.
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>>19771624
Try uber. No joke.
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>>19771624
Also wtf do you means theres nothing nearby to do? Do you live in the middle of nowhere?

Google comic book stores near you, cooking classes near you, knitting clubs near you, churches near you, libaries near you to see if anything is going on there, etc etc.

Yet again, use uber to go somewhere. Work towards getting the fuck out of hood rat central btw. No place for a kid to grow up.
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>>19771656
Uber with a baby?

>>19771650
I have PLENTY of hobbys. Just a lack of where and who to do them with. -_- but ill look into those board games, they sound fun as hell

. >>19771640
Can you explain how i would go about leaving temporarily without triggering divorce? Cant just walk up to him and say hey i want to stay at my folks house for a couple weeks till you stop being a shitty excuse for a human.
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>>19771673
I mean, i googled comic book store, and hobby lobby came up.
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>>19771640
Bitter faggot roastie detected. Dont listen to this advice, causing drama will only hurt things more even if it will temporaliy be exciting. Kids with parents who are raised by single moms/divorced parents do way worse in almost every respect from being way more likely to be a criminal to being less intelligent.
Only time you should consider divorce is if hes beating you, cheating on you, or a useless drug addict/ alcholic. Otherwise what ever downwards slope you feel youre on now can be fixed if you work on it.
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>>19771444

Ok, OP. From what I gather your husband is a good provider for the family and a good father for your child. So I think that it's unlikely that he's not willing to prevent you from being unhappy in that way. In that case the only possible reason for him not helping you is that he doesn't quite understand your affliction. So it's communication problem.

In that case it is up to you to explain your current state, what's causing it and what he can do to help you. I think it would be best for you to write him an essay calmly and thoroughly explaining the situation (which is beneficial for you in itself by the way). Make sure to structure it well. First write about how you feel, then about what you think is causing you to feel that way, then about what can be done to make you feel better and how he can help. When the moment is right (your husband is in a good mood and well rested) hand it to him and ask him calmly and politely to read it and consider it.

Once that is done you can at the very least be sure that you've done everything that you could to communicate the problem and the rest is up to him (and you of course).

I wish for you and your husband to be happy together and to a good and joyful job of raising your child.

>>19771567

Kill yourself you fucking vile cunt
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>>19771675
Thats why i said get a baby sitter once or twice a week. And yeah, you could. Wtf is the uber driver going to do? Eat your fucking baby.
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>>19771682
What state do you live in? Or what country? Id look them up for you if you gave me some info.
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>>19771693
Thank you anon, thats a really big help.

>>19771694
Lol ive never really used an uber before, didnt know if i could put a carseat in there or something idk. xD

>>19771698
Lol go for it. I live in tn, shelby county to narrow your search. .
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>>19771711
Heres three comic book stores you could check out and see if theyre close to you enough to uber there
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>>19771726
Yes!! Thank you!!
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>>19771711
Heres a lifetime you might be able to uber to or have a family member/friend drive you.

You can make friends there chilling in the spa/sauna area. Also out by the pool.

You can do cardio/bodyweight exercising to feel better and be healthier. Just dont lift weights as a girl.

Also theres even a daycare there for your baby if you cant get a baby sitter.

Just ask for a week long trial membership to see if youd like it if you can afford a membership and get there often enough.

Maybe you should suggest to your husband that you save up money so you have a car to use or that he car pools with a friend to work so you could use it during the day.
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>>19771726

Heres a knitting store you probably could get into knitting through along with youtube. I bet they even have a knitting group that meets once a week.
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>>19771711
This whole foods in memphis offers cooking classes you could take.




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