[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice

Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.

File: JS33081061.jpg (46 KB, 615x409)
46 KB
I'm an 18 yo male and I live with my parents.

My parents do not clean the home; there are dirty floors, mouldy bathrooms and general clutter everywhere. There is plenty of time in the day for my parents, especially my Mother (works <3 hours weekdays) but they do not clean.

The bad habits have spread to my younger siblings who do not see the issue with the clutter. I try to clean and help but they become annoyed when I put stuff in a different place or try to get them into good tidying habits.

The main issue is that it is limiting me as a person. I do not have friends around because it is embarrassing. I have briefly dated a few girls over the past few years but I eventually cut it off because it would eventually involve bringing them home. After years of building my confidence, this is my biggest insecurity.

It sounds small on the grand scheme, I understand this. I haven't spoke to anybody about the issue and it only makes it worse when my friends poke fun at unkempt households that we experience through other friends. I guess the insecurity stems from my desire to not have my image associated with my parents undesirable lifestyle choices that I can't control.

The only resolve I currently have is moving out, which would require me to work 40+ hours at a time where I want to have free time to focus on my career path/ work on projects I am passionate about. Is there any way I can get past this problem? Convince my parents to clean? Move out? Get over it and stop being and insecure fag? Seriously, any help would be appreciated.

TL:DR - I can't get a girlfriend / extend my social life due to my parents laziness when it comes to cleaning the home.
focus on your career for the time being. Enjoy your free housing because you've got it easy right now. This is the perfect opportunity because when you're working it becomes hard to get anything done. This is your chance to take control of your future. Don't let it slip just because you want a girlfriend. Get it together.
I'm in my 30s and still live with my parents cause I'm a gay retard haha

but yeah they're also hoarders and don't know how to clean things properly or to do DIY around the house

I can tell you that trying to clean their mess for them around the house isn't going to work. First of all they're not going to learn to do it themselves and piles of shit are just going to pile back up again. Second they're likely to just get mad like WHERE IS MY COLLECTION OF USED TOOTHBRUSHES I HAD PLANS TO EVENTUALLY MAYBE USE THEM IN SOME BULLSHIT PROJECT THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN THESE ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

The best thing you can do is to just set an example by keeping your own room as clean and as orderly as possible. Everytime that you walk into the front door and want to just toss a lit match into the piles of stuff just go into your room and double down on the order and cleanliness of your own room. Make it so when your parents look at your bedroom they become ashamed of how they've let the house turn. You can also take charge of "communal" areas and things like you can just clean the floor yourself and do the dishes and whatever. If they complain that you're using too much soap or whatever then buy your own cleaning supplies.

Also if you're feeling really frustrated then just secretly throw things out haha nothing valuable just literal trash and recyclable bullshit that they'll never miss and even if they're like WHERE ARE MY COUPONS AND GROCERY FLYERS FROM 2013 just shrug and say that you don't know where things are. At one point I was throwing out a giant garbage bag filled to the brim with all sorts of bullshit and my parents never noticed that anything was gone. They just maybe assumed that somehow magically the house had started to clean itself like a Japanese toilet.

Check out Marie Kondo's Konmari system. She has a couple of books and some talks on youtube about her clean and organizing system. it can also help talk with your hoarder parents.
This is the smart logical thing to do but after 2 years of being smart and logical with every decision, it is getting tiring. I know I need to focus on it but I want to strike a balance but I can't even attempt to introduce the other side in my current situation.

I feel like i'm unwillingly in a bit of a Nikola Tesla situation. All work, no play. It's not fulfilling.
Focus on work, save up money, move out.
It's sadening to hear that it doesn't change. Part of me wants to help them so they can have a better life and be happier in general.

Thanks for your advice, i'll definitely look into the books/ youtube vids.
Watch the documentary "Minimalism" with them just for the lulzs.

Like Anon said, keep your room ultra clean and, if possible, minimalist too.

Throw anything that you want to, make sure not to be seen, deny to death.
Can't you monetize this?
Like actually make people pay to see the mess.
It's an authentic WTF experience that I'd be willing to pay to witness.
>It's sadening to hear that it doesn't change.

Oh it does change, it's been like 11 years since something clicked in my brain and I got into cleaning and organizing things around the house cause before then I was a hoarder and disorganized like them and I actually got my mom to organize and clean and throw out some of her own stuff.

It's nowhere near to my own standards, but some progress is better than nothing.
not him but it's not that uncommon that people would want to go on a tour. Its actually quite common just look at the American show Hoarders or the British show Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners.
The very fact you say this justifies my fear about my household seeming like a circus act to those that live with active parents and who have never known another living standard.

Ignoring the fear of embarrassment, i have to live in it day by day and it is obvious to me that the environment you live in affects your state of mind.

Put it this way, you have the same hair whether it is styled or not, but it feels better when it is styled for a reason. Living in my household is like living with constant bedhead.

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.