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/adv/ - Advice

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So I tried to kill myself a while back. All my friends then ditched me after that and my girlfriend broke up with me. We were living together and I had no where to go, so I begged my parents to take me in without telling them I was hospitalized.

Fast forward a bit and here I am. No job, no friends, no nothing, and my parents are threatening to kick me out of the house. I have a month to find a job. The problem is that I have a master's degree in a field that is actually semi-useful and not fine arts or some other bullshit so I have to stay in my field where I have an advanced degree and career experience. No one will hire me because I'm over-educated or over-experienced or I lack the certification that costs well over 600 dollars to get (PHR, SPHR), or I don't speak fluent Spanish. That is what recruiters and people I interview with have told me.

I can't get a part-time job because I'm too old to look like I have never worked a job before in my life, so I have to give them a stripped-down resume with just my undergraduate working experience and which says I have a degree. No one wants to hire a guy with a science degree to a part-time retail job or anything, even if I lie and say I am going to grad school.

What could I do?

food delivery/fast food

They hire without any work experience and they don't expect anyone to stay around for very long anyway.
You should enlist in the armed forces and pick up some job skills once you get out, not only that but you will recieve benefits. Im enlisting in the USMC so I can avoid jailtime once I leave highschool.
I can't join the military, I have a form of epilepsy and a suicide attempt. They won't take me. Plus I'm over 30.

I've tried but when they called me in to interview they see my age and won't hire me. Fast food places in my state pay as much as 15 bucks an hour for high school kids when the economy is booming and they have no shortage of young applicants. I've showed up for a fast food interview at Jack in the Box and was shown the door after about 5 minutes. Other fast food places around here gave me a cursory interview, but they ask the right questions which leads me to either admit I have at least an undergraduate degree or I am lying on my application.
Also, I have a master's degree and over 5 years of Human Resources experience. So I have job skills that are marketable.
I'm in a similar situation with no college degree. Since no one will hire that 30 year old boomer with no work experience I used my entire savings & begged my dad to loan me the rest and bought a small plot of land in the boonies that I'm cultivating into a market garden. You have the degree, if a $600 cert would get you a job, you should get it, ask your parents to loan you the money if you have to.
and learn spanish
I know rudimentary Spanish and can carry a basic conversation, but am not fluent. In order to achieve fluency, I would need classes which cost money I don't have.

My parents have already said I'm out of here in three weeks and will not loan me money. I have asked for a loan for my certification. I have 5 dollars in my account. Anyway, by the time I study and take the examination the three weeks will be up.
How did it come to this? You worked for 5 years at a real job and end up with $5 while living with parents?
I have money in retirement accounts, but I had to pay for grad school and living expenses while I went to school. That doesn't last forever. The company I worked for is now out of business and I left to go to grad school before they slashed the workforce to half. A year later, it went under. I actually lucked out, really.
I don't have an advice for you but I sincerely wish you the best anon
>The problem is that I have a master's degree in a field that is actually semi-useful and not fine arts or some other bullshit

>Has fine art degree
>Easily gets a wide range of jobs

Karma is a bitch, eh lad ;)

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