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GIOYC get it off your chest

Last thread archived at post limit
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>>19878564
What motherfucker will start 3rd the same thread?
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>>19878578
my bad i posted it at at the same time as this and i took it down
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>>19878565
idk how to tune my drums, so i just stick a wallet on it, and it sounds good.
>>
I love you; I love you; I love you. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs, over and over, rip this feeling out of my chest. Repeat these three words I'll never get to speak to you again - see the smile I'll forever miss, hear the kindness in your voice that no longer exists for me. I still love you, Moe. The you, you used to be, the you, you became, all the little character traits and nuances that I doubt will ever change. I love all of the shitty, awful, horrible times too. I wish I could be with you still and learn the you, you are now.

I also know you're much better off as you are now :) and I hope every day you've found that happiness
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>>19878582
Vice versa, your post was the 1st, pal.
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>>19878582
OP of this thread. Sorry for the mix up anon, I don't usually make the threads just didn't see one up in the catalog so went to it
>>
My GF is coming home after a 3 month trip and because of binge starving and a major depressive period I definitely got fatter and uglier. I'm really scared of her being disappointed and unattracted to me when she sees whats happened

I've been exercising and eating right but the anxiety is eating me
>>
I wish I were never circumcised. I never would have chosen it for myself.
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i still regret choosing architecture instead of graphic arts now im stuck in this dumbass transition of the old and new education system thanks to my failing grades
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>>19878657

How much fatter?
>>
I am finally ending it. There's no life in pain and humiliation.
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>>19878657
Fast/Snake Diet that shit
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>>19878706
Circumcised penises are beautiful, even when they're flaccid

t.female
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You would be so fucking dissapointed in me. And im sorry. He is awful to me, i know, but he is also all i have and im all he has too. I wanted it to be you, you knew this, but you were so convienced i could get a better man. How? I dont know anyone, i was isolated. How was i supposed to know hed end up like this, anyways? There were no warnings for this sheer anger he has at the world, and if i knew he would take it out on me as a result i would have remained isolated.
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>>19879093
I never chose you, you stuck onto me like some cunt you are fuck you I never asked for this either fuck off.
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>>19879123
Youre not him, you larper, fuck off faget
>>
It's a good thing you've cut all contact with the father of your one year old child, because I probably wouldn't talk to you otherwise, let alone come over to your house and help you fix things.

I know we got our different lifestyles, but unless you meet someone willing to date a single mom of 31, I'm the best shot you got at having more children, as you tell me you want to within the next two or three years. You told me so yourself. I do still love you, but I'm not going to become monogamous again. I got a good thing going with the 24yo, and I went on a date with a 27yo last night. This is what happens, when you let good things go for no other reasons than external ones. You went slutting in Thailand, and now you're stuck with a kid because you fell for a manipulative, emotionally abusive asshole, just months after we talked about one day starting a family. You son is a darling, and I'm not going to resent that you kept him, but because you did, what we could potencially have will never be as pure as it could have been. That's why I'd rather have kids with different women in addition to you, than to father a child that isn't mine, and miss out on all the other puss I'm getting. If our friend in common, who's also my ex breaks up with her new boyfriend - the one she got after divorcing her wife - then she'll want me to impregnate her as well, and I will do that for her. You have both always known I'm extremely good with children. You could both live in the same house, raising three children together, two of which are mine, and I'll visit inbetween fucking women 7-10 years younger than me. I don't even care if we make love all that often, but I'll be the father figure you know your children deserve.

Then all will be good.
>>
I'm in love with someone other than my wife and I'm riding the marriage out for another 2 years until my plan to leave her is ready.
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>>19879123
LOL did you come into a 4chan gioyc thread and actually thought you were talking to your ex? You crazy anon.
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>>19879123
No one ever asks to get hurt anon. Retarded women are prone to making retarded choices. The world keeps on spinning.
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>>19879178
Why though?
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>>19878706
Wtf is with this shit?

I know someone in real life who wants to act like his parents abused him horribly as a child because they got him circumsized.

I'm fine with not having to clean my skin flap with a q tip all the time.

Besides that, if men were insanely more sensitive down there from not being circumsized guys wouldn't last very long in the sack. Probably jack rabbit around for a few seconds and that's it.

Get a real problem, like being unemployed and homeless.
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>>19879177

idgaf you whore. You would never have been monogamous anyway. You think you're the only dick in my and those girls' lives? What planet do you live on?
>>
I wish men were capable of being monogamous mentally and physically, while also not being obsessed with sex with their own partners, yet still useful and productive.
>>
I'm on holiday with a friend. He wants to go drinking tomorrow, I /really/ don't. There's only one set of keys. What should I do?
>>
Sometimes i think you guys take these threads way too personally, like you think youre talking to the person who hurt you here of all places. Why do you do this?
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>>19879123
You never said this, and you lead me on with your stupid games. I didnt want to go through life like you did, never having attatchments because people are a game to you, i wanted something real. I wanted YOU to be real with me. When i got tricked into this it wasnt because i wanted it to happen either.. i never wanted to be this abused by another person, I was trying to move on from you but failed on a scale i didnt even expect. I hate myself more than ever and i deserve what i get. But if he is all i can have, all i deserve, i will make it work and heal him even if i cant heal myself.
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>>19879323
I'm not sorry, you say you regret it but he was your choice you're just trying to keep me in your orbit because you're evil.
>>
I'm completely done being your friend, I should have never even considered talking to you again. You're the single most petulant, annoying person I know and almost all of your jokes are fucking lame and obnoxious.
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>>19879274
Well, we used to have an open relationship, so I don't see how it makes much difference now. We've already talked about how you've fucked more people than I have, years ago, so it's not like I'm surprised. Or care.
>>
>>19879331
>I'm completely done being your friend
Okay
>I should have never even considered talking to you again
True
>You're the single most petulant, annoying person I know
Meh
>almost all of your jokes are fucking lame and obnoxious
Ouch!!! That hurt
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>>19879329
I dont regret him. I regret i was born, but i dont regret him. He hates women, but he somehow has learned to not completely hate me despite what he knows. Its vrazy how we even ended up together to be honest. He has improved, he is not perfect and he isnt right in the head at all, but he loves me it seems. As much as someone like that can love at least lol. Everyone in this world has evil in them, yes me too. Humans are a duality by nature. Also, you arent in my orbit, that implies i want to talk to you at all. You are just on my mind and it sucks. I would never try to be with you, because you hate me.
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>>19879384
fuck you alright
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>>19879402
Haha, yeah. Im trash. But i learned even trash like me can be loved, even by monsters like him. Thanks for the chance to vent anon. Youre not him, but it helps to larp.
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>>19879414
That's all that can be done, you have to larp if nothing is real
>>
Cringe, the thread
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>>19879415
My life is too real right now, kek. I wish i was back to playing childish games with mr oneitis. It was a lot less painful. But i also wouldnt have learned nearly as much about myself if i had chosen an easier path.
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>>19879436
Anyone who still says cringe is cringe so get the fuck out... also I know who you are
>>
>grow up poor because my parents unfortunately cant hold a job due to circumstances
>barely enough food on the table
>im a problem child
>fast forward to adult me
>dropout
>no talent in any skills that i know of
>cant and dont want to hold a job
>live from welfare check to welfare check

its like my life is predetermined to be a wageslave or a lowlife criminal
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>>19879331
Did you learn a new word?
>>
You misguided woman, you almost got some sympathy from me with your delusional ramblings. Please dont continue to hurt yourself, youre a human, not trash. Leave this man if he is abusive and crazy. He is just turning you into a monster too.
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>>19879331
Initial?
>>
I hate you

I hate Radio Speedwagon or whatever it's called

I hate being a parent although I love my kid and am trying not to fuck everything up

I hate being sick

I hate my drive for attention and validation
>>
I'm sorry I fell in love with you and made things weird. I'm not sure how to change my feelings... I've been trying but I give up. I think you want me to leave so I will. I asked before and you basically said you don't care if I stay or go. That hurt. I'm a loser so you're better off. You made me so happy and I'll miss you. This is probably a relief to you. V
>>
I love you. Not that kind of love where I have to be the source of your happiness or even have your love returned. I just love you. I want to see you happy. I want to do good things for you (and to you). Your smile is a drug to me. Your laugh makes me feel light on my toes. I wish I could heal all your pains and protect you forever. But I am not so arrogant. I am just one man. All I can do is be here for you and love you. It's always on the tip of my tongue. The urge to scream it from the roof tops is strong, but life is not like a romance movie. It's not fantasy. This is real. I love you real and that's why I will always come after you to pull you out of the pit in any way I can.
>>
FUCK YOU MOMMY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I NEVER WANTED THIS LIFE I NEVER CARED ABOUT MONEY EVERY TIME YOU TALK TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE ITS ABOUT MONEY YOU IDOLIZING WHOOOOOOOOOORE
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>>19879642
Can you tell me what she does that makes you love her so? You're lucky to have found each other.
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>>19879331
Tell them that then.
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>>19879787
Ya, right? I'm pretty petulant and he never laughs at my jokes so I wish they'd leave initials lol
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>>19879177
Update: You just super-liked me on tinder, and told me you're ovulating, so if I want a kid to run around in your neighbourhood, I should pay you a visit tonight.

Also, chaos magick works.
>>
J Im done with you
the only reason I slept with Mike is because youre a lazy and boring person and it just isnt enough
Its tiring and you dont care about anything other than yourself
and most of all you constantly use the word petulant and looks for reasons to insert it into conversations, it drives me crazy, this is why Im leaving you
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>>19879384
You're a god damn coward.
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>>19879846
Keked at the petulant part
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Lol I called you and you didn't respond
I just want to understand what's going on and why you've been cold
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>>19879093
>You would be so fucking dissapointed in me.
The real disappointment is the fact that you were just a manipulative cunt all along.
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>>19879846
"J" is a better person than you will ever be. It doesn't matter what they did or didn't do. You cheated. It doesn't matter what you do to justify it in your mind. You will always be known as a cheater. Slut.
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>>19879642
The more you try to act rightious, the more you notice yourself lying more.

Just accept you love her, secretly want her back, but need to start doing YOU so you can let her go. Don't push yourself aside for something as trivial as a girl.

You'll think back about your stories, posts, feelings, etc in a few years and cringe.
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>>19878565
i dont know what to do anymore
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>>19879859
Not at all, but ok. I was just doing what i was told would be best for me, meeting someone else and falling for him instead. But if that helps you hate me its fine
>>
I'm mostly alone. You get used to it. But it's not doing me any good. I tend to notice sad things more. The old people in my neighboorhood that seems lonely too.

The whole cycle of getting a wife and kids, and eventually starting your own life, thus leaving your old one behind where the parents won't see their kids for sometimes up to a multiplude of years.

The fact we live on a planet with so many resources, yet so many people living in miserey about obtaining enough of those resources just to get by in live.

Yet, most people go on with their daily lives, what matters to them is that they are content. And the rest of the world doesn't count, they shut their eyes for it. Shut their eyes for the misery. How am i supposed to believe in a higher power when i know that 90% of the people don't deserve to go to heaven. I don't as well.
>>
I feel like I'm gonna die without you. Die of sadness... is that possible? Please just love me.
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>>19879875
You think I asked for that?
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>>19879883
I dont know. You never talked to me honestly. What were you asking of me, fool?
>>
You tried talking to me and you were obviously very interested in me. I seemed uninterested but I would fuck you and cuddle with you all day if I wasn't autistic. Instead I just pretended like I didn't hear you and acted like you weren't talking to me. Now I'll never see you again, and I'll do the same thing to the next girl who will try doing the same thing as you did :'(
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>>19879892
Why can't you see them again?
>>
Whoops dropped a couple
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>>19879920
Because it was probably a rando you idiot
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>>19878565
Occasionally I have a dream where I'm in a park with my wife and she's not paralysed any more and she's got her arm wrapped around me while we're walking aimlessly around.
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>>19879280
Is that why women cheat more and are the ones who want to divorce more? ;)
>>
Get out of my head you slut
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>>19879880
Did you told them you love them?
It’s hard to love when you don’t know if you are loved back...
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I don't think you're the one anymore. You need to get your shit together first. I can't mommy another man into being better, it's exhausting and pointless. I'm fucking 21 and have my life better together than most 25 plus men, at least the ones who are attractive and I can have a conversation with.
Is it wrong that I was infatuated with this person all the way up until I saw how they kept the place where they Live? Yikes. The first thing I thought was "wow if we lived together I would either do all the cleaning or there would be a shit ton of negotiating and teaching to get you up to par"
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>>19880045
Yes, I told them and showed them how much I love them.
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>>19880031
Just fuck her already, see her for the whore she really is. Otherwise enjoy playing dirty images in your head of her and your johnny hating you for being dishonest with yourself.
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I'm slipping back into depression.
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>>19880031
Grow some balls and call them a slut to their face- problem solved.
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>>19879892
What’s your point? Too bad if you’re looking for pity because I already forgot your name
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>>19880052
lol whatever then
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Gadammit. I can't help but wonder if you ever had feelings for me. I can't help but wonder, "was I chasing the wrong girl?"

We were playing "tag" but with songs and pictures. I would play a song, then you'd play one in response, like clockwork. Your pictures would hint at how closely you were observing me.

Did our brief conversation really have a profound effect on you? You told me you had someone special in your life so naturally, I backed off. You gave advice of which I stubbornly chose to ignore. I told you about a place where we could be each other's confidant, but you declined. Yet, despite that, I sensed your presence.

Then, I felt your presence wane.

I spoke to the medium, but maybe, this whole time, the ghost was hovering over my shoulder, whispering inaudible words into my ear.

Even though I probably brought the worst out of both of you, I wish nothing but the best. Thank you for everything, even if it amounted to nothing. I'm sorry I failed miserably.
>>
>>19879847
Never claimed i wasnt. Im really scared right now, but im going to see it through. Somewhere in that monster is a human.
>>
>>19880061
>>19880064
I've been trying to set up a meeting but she isn't picking up her phone.
Fuck her
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>>19880143
LEL. Guess she isnt as big of a slut as you thought then, huh anon? Who is this girl to you anyways. There are so many sloots, why this one?
>>
Went out on a friendly drink with the women I fell in love on first sight 2 years ago. I know we will never be together, but it doesent mater. She is happy and going to become a doctor. All that matters is that She is happy.

Its true, money doesent buy happines. Im sitting here in my big ass house looking at which BMW to buy. Cocain is on the table.

It all doesent matter. Existence is nothing but agony.

One of these days im going to end it.
>>
>>19880174
Send me some cocain bls i want to die
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>>19880174
Try loving someone for almost 10 years and no cocaine ;_;
I also want to die
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>>19880055
I’m sorry, I’m in the same situation. It sucks.
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>>19880200
I'm sorry for you too, Anon. Breakup or unrequited?
>>
>>19880158
We were best friends for a year then we dated for a month then out of the blue she dropped me. We are on semi talking terms but she's been ghosting right after she said I was important to her and that shit.
She's just a manipulator but I'd like a few answers to what the hell is going on
>>
>>19880180
>>19880190
Good men, cocaine is overhyped.
Alcohol is the king
>>
>>19879331
Fuck you too. Never wanted you in my life either. But had to ride it out. To progress in my job. Hope you kys
>>
Social Anxiety is literally destroying my life (and it's worst when I'm in math class). When in class I start sweating and fidgeting, I have constant stomach aches and there's a lump in my throat making it nearly impossible to speak to people. When the teacher asks me a question I can't even think because my frontal lobe is barely active, and I say the stupidest shit.

Everybody must think I'm dumb now. I've also skipped class a couple of times and sat on a park bench for 2 hours because the physical pain is just unbearable.
>>
So how exactly do I figure out what kind of person I am? It's like I'm afraid to settle on something which leads to me being overwhelmed when having to react on something in a way that should be unique to me, if that makes even the slightest bit of sense.
I do know some things just don't feel right. All my life I've never felt like I truly belonged somewhere, having a main group of friends just felt weird. I've always just drifted between everything and I try to keep as much options open as possible.
>>
>>19880229
Alcohol is good but not nearly as good as amphetamines
>>
God fucking christ, I don't fucking know what to do at all. Fuck. It's my fault you were pushed away, so I have no right to be jealous; however, you still felt the desire to do it, and that's not something I want to be a part of.

You're leaving in a week. It feels like I'm being held hostage.
>>
>>19880274
Damn anon. Want to elaborate maybe i can help.
>>
>>19878565
>be me
>first job as an engineer
>have to order power supply for testing of appliances we produce
>6000$ worth of equipment ordered
>manager gets sick, then is on holidays
>realize today the power supply isn't powerful enough because I fucked up and it can't take enough amps
>only tech guy in the entire sub-company so no one to help whatsoever

I managed to get the guys who supplied the equipment to lend me something appropriate, but I fucked up badly. Fuck. I have 20 days to fix that mess before my manager gets back.
>>
I'm used to pain and damage, you're in massive pain and that's your issue.

One of us was truly born into this existance with pain and the other is you
>>
>>19880229
I'm a girl tho... drinking while this upset sounds like a really, really, bad idea
>>
I miss you man. You never even talked to me, but i knew you needed someone. But fuck you pushed me away, you hurt and used me too, and then didnt want to talk to me after. Its absolutely my mistake for being manipulated by you, but what the fuck am i supposed to do with those thoughts racing in my head everyday. I miss your family, they were the only people who were ever decent to me. Did you even know i had never gotten a birthday cake before? I wanted to cry when your mom bought one for me, i didnt deserve her affection at all when i was trapped in this perverted haze about her son.
>>
>>19880222
Unrequited, kinda? I’m honestly not sure of how they feel anymore.
>>
>>19880224
And how did you respond when she said that?
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>>19880406
Sorry to hear senpai
I wish i could give you a hug
>>
WHY IS MY NOSE SO FUCKING GREASY
>>
>>19879859
that's not me dumbfuck
>>
Please don't do this.
>>
Been in a LDR for about 3 years now. Plans have fell through and shit to meet (mainly because my dad wouldnt approve of me going to Colombia and shit) but now i dont need his approval legally anymore. So decided to skip my usual trip to Tennessee for this Christmas in exchange for going to Colombia to hang out with the girlfriend (concerned it might be different in person but eh). Issue is flight tickets are $800+ just to get there and i dont want to obliterate my savings account nor do i make enough to be able to afford that. Dont know of any legal ways to rake money in that fast but thinking that appealing to fags on kickstarter might work.
>>
>>19880470
I dont deserve love, not even a hug. Im human trash, im flattered you were tricked into thinking i was actually human though.
>>
>>19880566
Don't do what?
>>
Why the fuck did you delete your blog? Literally the only thing tumblr is good for is porn, and now just 2 weeks after finding a great blog that catered to all my fetishes and tastes you fucker just delete it out of nowhere. Fuck you.
>>
>>19878565
stop fucking with my drugs.

They were working great the last couple days but today they are incredibly weak. I know you faggots are trying to push that whole "SEE THEY DON'T LASTTTT!!!!!111" but you faggots do this literally every fucking time I take them. You do it for a few days until I notice it and then you are forced to stop because it's so fucking obvious then they go back to working normally.

So... just fucking stop it you dumb fucking niggers. When I get out of here, you're going to give me exactly what I fucking want anyways and it's sure as fuck not going to be "drug free". You are giving me BOTH of the meds I'm asking for and you're going to give me ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. Not 30 a month, or one a day through some kind of pill dispenser. No, you are giving me tens of thousands of them all at once and I'll take as many as I fucking please.

Or I'll fucking kill you. This isn't that fucking hard. Just fucking do it.
>>
>>19880605
I hate you and your constant schizo spamming
>>
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>"You need to love yourself before you can love someone else"
>"I miss drunk you, you're so fun when you're drunk!"
>"Please try and talk to your mom about this"
>>
>>19880595
Lol ok
>>
>>19878565
I will always love Norbu.

Even though he treats me like shit.
Even if he is still fat and became a girl since then.
>>
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>>19878565
I just want my medications, a place to stay where I have everything I need to do my work, and for all of you to go fucking fuck yourselves. I don't want any pets, I don't want any stupid whores, I just want you mother fuckers to fucking leave me alone.

Give me my medications, my mouse, and fuck you.
>>
>>19880596
It doesn't matter. I won't make a big deal about this, I'll just disappear. I have nothing left to say and nothing left to give. I don't regret anything. You deserve everything and even more than I have.
>>
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I thought I didn't care anymore. I noticed that I still care very much.
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>>19880595
I was thinking if she made you a cake it's probably because you're special and do deserve affection.
>>
>>19880566
go to hell vicky
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>>19880719
It hurts anon. I know she wanted me in her family, i just knew it. She really did love me like a mother. But i almost fornicated with her son behind her back, when she let me stay at her house because a storm made it too dangerous to drive home... and worse it wasnt pure at all. It was dirty and manipulative. It was evil. Im so filthy. Why the fuck did i do that. I should have held my feelings in and controlled myself. But it was impossible after years of tension.
>>
>>19880731
Wrong person
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>>19880742
>utter nonsense
wtf
>>
>>19880731
You need to get over this bitch, man
>>
>>19880748
>>19880755
I'm not wrong.
>>
>>19880748
>tell a psychic they are wrong
For fuck's sake you fucking retards
>>
>>19880748
>vague post
>says replies are wrong
Any attention is good attention, am I right?
>>
>>19880757
It's not my name, fool. My name does start with a V tho...
>>
>>19880764
What's wrong with letting them know? How is that attention? Do you need some attention?
>>
Why is so hard forget someone, I don't feel bad for not having her, but her memory never let me alone, I always thinking on her. Im think she forgot me but why I can't get it
>>
>>19880770
lol
so sad
fuck off loser
>>
>>19879861
These thoughts are not about a past lover but a dear friend. I get them off my chest here so I will never say it to her. It's the digital equivalent of writing a letter and burning it up to me. It will only exist in 4chan's archives. And I wouldn't put myself aside for her. I love her and I'm here for her but I know I've got my own life to live.
>>
>>19880791
K
>>
>>19880796
Why can't you say some of that to her? It's pretty sweet.
>>
>>19880765
the fact you are just so fucking stuck on it means I'm not wrong.

Seriously, you are the fucking worst. Leave people alone.
>>
Don't say you ever loved me, don't say you ever cared.

Lonely hearts still beat the same though they aren't romantic, just automatic but it's not like I can tell the difference.
>>
>>19880848
Maybe so but why should I tell her? Seems quite intense so say to someone I'm not in a relationship with
>>
>>19880876
What's the point of living if you can't tell someone they're special and you love them. You can tone it down to not freak her out. This worlds so fucked, if we can't lift each other up. It doesn't mean you expect anything at all which you said already that you don't.
>>
I thought I'd be alright getting passed over for the promotion, but I didn't even get an interview or anything. That just dredged up all the feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness that I felt in the recession when I sent so many applications to only be met with silence. I feel like I'm drowning.
>>
I keep more pills every few minutes waiting for ones that stops my heart or whatever. I feel okay about this.
>>
Hey Em,

I was alone all my life.
I accepted it. I bore my cross and learned to be content with it. Never happy, true, but I survived. I took it one day at a time and waited for death to take me.

Nobody cared about me, everyone just went on with their life. Sometimes people seemed to, but I pushed them away - they'd leave eventually regardless, best get rid of them before I got attached or dependent.
But you changed that. You didn't let me push you away, you weathered the storm. You saw something in me worth staying for, where nobody else did.

I gave up eventually, I let you in. My life was the same apart from that, but it seemed less bland with you in it.
A light brighter than all the stars to warm the rut I'd spent years in.
My shitty job was okay because I could spend the money on trying to make you smile.
I had a reason to move from my shitty apartment to a house because you smiled every time you talked about 'our' home.

I wonder if you knew that I never cared for any of it beyond that it made you smile?

I still see you sometimes, smell your scent and feel your presence. I took a week off recently and you were there for all of it.
Not really, of course, but I could pretend so hard I forgot I was pretending. I woke up feeling your hair tickle my face, I talked to you as I cooked dinner for one. You talked back too, laughed along with me.
Every time I forget you're gone it feels like I lose you again when I remember, but I can't seem to stop myself.

The world isn't grey the way it was before you now you're gone, it's dark, threatening and lonely. I was alone before, but not lonely. I never knew what it was like to have and be had by someone, so what was I even missing?

I know now though.

I'd have come to join you if I didn't feel your disappointment seconds before I made the cut, took the pills, or took that last step.

Sometimes I hate you for that.
I can't live without you, but you won't let me die either.
>>
>>19880999
'our' friends tell me I'll stop feeling your loss so sharply with time, but I don't believe them. It's been almost a year now that I'm living this half life - alive when I block out your absence, lost when I'm forced to remember.
When I go to the shops my first thoughts are still about whether you'd like this, whether that would make you happier.
Sometimes I'll come back to the empty house that used to be home and call out that I got something for us, though it would always be for you, and the silence crushes me every time.

God I wish you were here, or I were there. I didn't end my life before I met you because I didn't see any reason to believe the afterlife would be any better, but now I can't shake the feeling that any plane of existence with you in it would be infinitely better than anything this hollow life has to offer.

A house filled with things I bought to make you happy, all reminders of a smile I'll never see again.
I wish I could pretend you were still here forever.
Never remember, never be reminded.
Even if it's fake, if it's the only version of you I can get then that's what I'll take and cherish, because even your shadow is brighter than the sun, and even the memory of your scent is enough to keep me from collapsing entirely.

I should have known better really.
Dad always told me love bred dependence and vulnerability, and he was right.
You were my one and only, my first hand held, my first kiss, my first love, hell, my first hug. You're all I've ever had, all I never knew I wanted, and now you're all I wish I had back. I'd give my eyes for a glimpse of you, my hands to feel your touch, my life to be wherever you are.

I need you.
I can't believe how cruel fate was to take you [spoiler] without taking me with you [/spoiler]
>>
I don't know whether to be sorry or not
I'm a borderline mess and you're probably smarter than me
You make me so mad so often
>>
I was going to say I hope you feel upset tomorrow, but I don't think you care enough about what I said to even remember. I shouldn't be so petty anyway, I guess.

I just hate that you don't think highly of me.
>>
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>I have been a NEET since a finished college (useless degree) in 2015. So 3 years been a NEET already.
>I have tried so many things since then to change this state of mind and have a normal life and nothing has worked.
>I'm taking 2 different types of pills everyday.
>The psychologist I'm going right now is the 3rd one and no one has been able to help me.
>I don't talk with my father anymore. I can eat with my parents and my grandmother in the same table and don't say a word.
>I think that I have 1-2 months until my father kicks me out of his house.
>I'm going right now to a psychologist mostly because if wasn't going then my father would had kicked me out a long time ago.
>My parents has lost hope on me.
>My sister has almost lost hope on me. She keeps trying because she knows she is the only one with I can talk and go out and do something out of my parent's house but I know deep down she has also lost hope on me.
>No one can help me because I have lost all hope in myself and I see myself as a mentally ill person.
>I think everyday that I will end up living in he streets, begging to eat something and dying before 40 from some disease.
>I recently turned 29.
>What is the point of living like this?
>I have lost all hope having a girlfriend again, I can't get a job because I'm scared of everything and bored of everything in this world. I see my life as a fucking failure. I only make uncomfortable and sad the people that has to be around me. My parents and my sister sometimes.
>I never thought that I could come to this state. Totally destroyed psychologically, with no motivation for anything, not even to fuck women, with no hope for the future, thinking everyday about how I'm going to die, etc.

>It's said that the brain is the best machine ever made... for me it's a fucking shit of a machine. You are more or less ok with some objective in your life and with a more or less "normal" life and in a time of 3 years you are totally destroyed psychologically.
>>
>>19881064
What did they do?
>>
https://youtu.be/9EPDqUI48r4
>>
I just did something that was kinda adventurous/ liberated and I thought “This is the kind of thing if I posted on 4chan would make anons call me a dirty whore, a disgusting roastie pathetic crazy borderline bitch dirty slut and I should kms.” So I did it, this kinda fun/adventurous/stupid/liberated thing I never actually do. I did it and it was not that great but I didn’t feel any of those things about myself because I could imagine the viscous trolling and knowing it made it all okay.

It’s like anon is my daddy and I do things I know he’ll hate Because he shouldn’t hate. He should love me.
>>
>>19881227
Jfc anon
https://youtu.be/4CYEroCEHNA
>>
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>>19881244
>>
>>19879272
I'm not cut, but I don't get why Americans do it. What excuse is there for cutting off part of a child's body? What purpose?
Cleaning it is literally as simple as rolling back the foreskin while showering. Does lasting longer in bed justify mutilation? Why not go all the way and just replace your cock with a strap on?
>>19881050
Fuck dude, I feel for you.
What's Em short for? Where'd you meet her, how long were you together?
First kiss and stuff I get, but how do you get to that age without even a hug from a friend or relative?
Do you have a history of hallucinations or are these the first ones? How vivid are they?
Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but I've never heard of loss affecting someone like this before
>>
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>>19881189
eh, tl;dr
>"I want to kill myself"
>completely ignores me for three days and runs off with our two other friends to hang out for the weekend without me
>"That's unfair and not cool to say and suicide is selfish and it's hard to help with other peoples problems when i'm going thru stuff myself"
>>
Norbu, I put green text on the Pepe thread.

Hope you’re on drugs.

Could someone please link?
I’m on my cell phone.
>>
I wonder if you really do love me.
>>
this is stupid Norbu please answer me

Or I’m breaking up with you.
>take that
>>
>>19881317
Why do you feel they don't?
>>
Dude did you just call the landline at my dad’s house

Or was that my real bf?
>>
>>19881330
Probably because she’s Jewish and like, believes in magic and stuff.
>>
Magic isn’t real, Norbu.

>be a real person and email me back
Please.
>>
>have mental breakdown
>have to take a semester off from college
>possibly NEETing until January
>feel severe shame and embarrassment

I haven't told anyone outside of my parents. I feel like a failure. I've already had to miss a semester last year because I needed immediate treatment I barely survived last semester. I haven't left the house in two weeks to the day, and I mean that literally. I don't think I have it in me to tell what few friends I have what happened. They already have their suspicions that there's something wrong with me and I don't want to confirm that. The girl that I'm into will flip her shit and run the other way if she found out that I'm bipolar.

I have connections to a nonprofit that runs several charity programs. At the very least, I'm going to volunteer once a week for whatever they need me to do so I'll have somewhere to go and something to do. I figure once a week for five hours isn't so bad. Staying indoors and staring at various screens all day isn't the healthiest choice one can make.

What's bothering me the most though, is the "what if". I could've rolled the dice and tried to ride out atleast nine credit hours, but the risk of having to do a medical withdraw in the middle of the semester is just way too high. Taking a gamble like that is fucking stupid, but I can't help but think. The deal is already done, and there's no way around having to seek treatment. I just don't want my degree to take another extra semester to complete, I'm getting way too old for college as it is.
>>
FUCK THE CHINESE PARTY

THEY ARE NOT THE PEOPLE OF CHINA
>>
>>19881330
Our relationship felt a little rushed at first. A little forced. Now I've come to discover I'm low on their priorities list. I'm in pain. They didn't comfort me when I was visibly distressed. I was promised freedom. I was promised success. I knew it was too good to be true but went for it anyway.
>>
so who is the dumb fucking cunt that was all "You're ruined." ?

What a dumb fucking cunt.
>>
>>19881349
As a severely mentally ill person myself this is hard to hear, because this is almost exactly the position that I'm in and I'm viewing myself the same way.
Please forgive yourself. You didn't ask to be Bipolar. You're being really smart. Lots of people finish college at a different pace and nobody with a heart would hold it against you if they knew you had mental illness.
>>
why would anyone ever delete posts off this thread
>>
You're the best thing in my life and I'm afraid of losing you. Can you say something?
>>
>>19881383
I already spoke, honey pie.

>;-)
>>
>>19881386
No...
>>
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>>19878918
Over the summer I gained weight, lost it very very fast by eating under 700 cals a day for a while, and gained it back again + extra because of binging. Not sure about the exact number of lbs because I avoid the scale.

Basically I used to be cute but my face got fatter and uglier and I lost all my muscle. People are really hostile towards me in public all of the sudden and I know its because I look gross. It's really sad that first impressions depend so much on how you look

>>19879053
Doing that now. I've been trying to eat just a 1/2 cup of oatmeal, an egg, and some fat for breakfast and nothing else. doing ok so far
>>
Please, I won't be able to sleep.
>>
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>what about those of us that like both?
You can fuck off, that's what you can do. This isn't your fantasy, this isn't your reward, this isn't your "Thank You.".... It's mine. For once in my fucking life it's going to be done my way.

No Y chromosomes. No girls that look like men. No men that look like girls. No girls with dicks. No boys with vaginas. Only girls. Girls with pretty summer dresses. Girls dressed as gothic princess.

if this upsets you then you can fucking leave. No one is holding you hostage here.
>>
>>19881423
Gonna goo in her vagoo
>>
>>19881446
So, then you are busy? I asked.
>>
I fell in love with a girl, she seemed to be into me, things seemed to be progressing well. Then today she told me she's a lesbian and has a girlfriend.
I am very... upset, to put it mildly. I was really looking forward to starting something with this girl.
I'm posting this here because it doesn't deserve its own thread and because I'm not looking for any advice. I'd just like to hear some comforting words to sooth my pain.
>>
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You stinkin' two-bit warlocks and your putrid magic, whatever possesses you to commit such acts?

If you a predator you a bitch.
The power of the Christ God and Gaea combined will reign true.

Maybe you'll even see the light
>>
>>19881380
What was deleted?
>>
>>19879920
Ran into her at a concert. She tried talking to me a couple different times about the band but I pretended like I couldn't hear her.
>>
It's crazy how my family is moving to this new city that is so close to where you live. It's crazy how we were still talking until two weeks ago, about how we want to see each other.
It's crazy how i've waited for this for 2 entire years, how i waited for you to visit me as you promised me for these entire 2 years, but you never did.
It's not the only thing you've promised me, without never really doing anything. I'm angry at you, the main reason why I acted so stupid with you and rude and generally like an immature bitch.
I feel so stupid for believing you, for caring for you, for being there for you when you weren't really there.
I feel empty and heart broken now.

I really want to tell you this, but maybe it's too late.
>>
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Broke up with my gf last Sunday. I don't want to miss her but part of me feels like I won't really be over her until I'm focusing my attention on some other girl. Would making a Tinder be worth it? Is it too early to be doing that?
>>
This is so clearly Maria, like you guys weren't even fucking trying.

Just so you assholes understand correctly, the reason this kind of shit pisses me the fuck off is because of how completely disrespectful it is to my fucking situation. I was LITERALLY TORTURED TO DEATH. You fuckers have been psychologically torturing me, lying to my face about my entire god damn life. You have had doctors lie to me about my health, lie to me about my own fucking sex. You have had psychiatrists not only ignore my very real problems, but you had them actually harass me so that I wouldn't trust that the system was going to help me and to make me feel alone.

You make it so that I could never find success in my life. No matter how hard I would work I will never be able to earn money or be successful. You fuckers did this to me. You stole my fucking life from me. You made it so I was always going to be miserable no matter what I did, how hard I tried, how long I kept at it... you made it so I would never be ok. I would always be alone and fucking miserable.

But everyone else... they get to have the time of their lives. They get to be in music videos, movies made about them, travel the world, live the life of the rich and famous. They get to have multiple lovers, legions of loyal fans and friends. They get to have families.

Everytime she does shit like this it's just rubbing it in my fucking face that I will never get to be free. That you fucking cunts are going to torture me to death, again. I will never b e free, you fuckers will never help me. I hate all of yo u.
>>
>>19881606
you get to have peace in your dreams?
>>
>>19881711
I'm much more concerned about my waking life than my dreaming one, right now.
>>
>>19880448
I said the same thing. That you mean a lot to me and I don't want to lose you. I guess she was just pretending though.
I just texted her know asking what's on her mind and if everything is okay between us. I'll see what she's saying
>>
I miss you, my friend, I really do. I really, really do with all my heart and I feel terrible I wasn't there when you had so much depression going on, I feel terrible you told me you were unhappy with your relationship with your girlfriend, living with her and her mother and I wasn't able of give a better advice, I feel terrible all of this happened... You live on in your friends' hearts...

But, I wish you had left her and gone seek your own place, I'm... also angry at you, that the only reason you kept a relationship you weren't enjoying anymore just so your parents would stop thinking you were gay.
>>
So, if you faggots switch a video half way through to include underage porn or upload straight up underage porn... doesn't that make you retards the pedophiles? I mean, you're the ones that uploaded it, which means you're the ones that have it downloaded on your computers and you're the ones watching it in order to add it.

How the fuck do you justify that? "Oh, the porn already exists we are just utilizing it to catch bad people."

Then... doesn't that argument work for the pedophiles as well? "Well, the video already exists so it's not hurting anyone if I watch it."

Fucking pedos. You people are fucking disgusting and you don't even realize what you're doing.
>>
I think I made a mistake
>>
>>19881455
Feel relief that if she opened to you, she cares for you as a friend. Love comes and goes, but friendship can be forever.
>>
>>19881816
Not unless she can just trash it away like so many others.
It starts as subtle distancing all the way to outright ghosting.

And don't say men do this too. Men are actually fucking loyal friends and they tend to be open about what they want.
>>
>>19881825
I was trying to make anon feel better...
At least he didn't actually enter a relationship with her to only get Lesbocucked down the road. That shit HURTS.
>>
This is the last time probably I'll write here, hopefully ever, because this place is depressing and no one here actually gets the help they/we need.

B,

Just found out you got married two years ago. Congratulations and all that. Remember telling me you'll probably never get married, after I got a ride to *** just to spend the weekend with you? You got me good.
I found this site through the guy I dated after we broke up, and I kept coming here to get through the loneliness while figuring out what to do about myself. My family was awful and emotionally unstable - you and I both knew that, but you helped bring it to light, and your leaving motivated me to escape. Everyone thought I was broken by you - really I was freed by you, and I'm grateful for everything you put me through, almost like a surrogate father in a teen's body.
I've fallen in love several times since you stormed your way into and out of my life, almost got married, then actually got married, to an alcoholic of all things. He got me a job, he has a great work ethic too and somehow finds the best jobs without any college education. Now he's sober but everything's gone to hell, but I think I see a way up and out finally; once again you've inspired me to leap into the darkness. I find it ridiculous you married a girl whose name sounds like my moniker, but, c'est la vie and, congratulations you played yourself.
Have a good one and may we never cross paths again.
>>
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I never attacked someone this harsh before. Fuck I can be cruel.
Can't say I feel bad though, feels good to get it off my chest.
>>
I feel like confronting my dad, telling him why he wanted to have kids if he knew he was going to give all of us micro dicks, I hate him so much for being so selfish and I wish I was never born
>>
>>19881946
How could he know?
>>
>>19881951
Because he has one, mom told me. This shit has given me depression most of my adult life. Also, my brother has the same condition. I honestly hate him so much. I'm about to go nuclear on him
>>
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I want to go already.

>>19881897
You have no idea what cruelty really is.
>>
Can someone tell me if im being petty or not? im bothered that my close friend is trying to be close with my other best friends.

Am I being petty that i hate how she's trying to be friends with my other friends? Why cant she get her own friends on her own?
>>
So another restless night begins. How do i keep you out of my fucking head. Its both intense lust for your flesh and genuiene intrigue in your character. This is torture J.
>>
>>19881971
Yes. Its not up to you to choose who she can and cant be friends with.
>>
>>19881965
What does it mean to you?
>>
>>19881979
So my reaction is not normal at all? I need more insights to this because it really bothers me.

I know i cant choose who she can be friends with. BUT i feel like its weird that youre trying to be friends with ALL my friends. For me, i never try to be close with her friends or in general i dont do that. I dont push myself to other people. She's always like that to anyone.

It just bothers me that its all my friends.
>>
god I fucking hate my mother

I know you're fucking with my shit. I fucking hate you.
>>
I just want a hug.
I want to be someone's special other and give her endless support.
>>
I dreamt about her three times in a single night. That was happiest ive felt in a long time and it was just a dream

Ive barely known her for a month and yet i love her. Or im just infatuated. Whatever it is its stronger than anything ive felt in years, maybe even my whole life. Yes, im still young.

One part of me wants to think i just latched onto her as some sort of escapism, to feel a thrill of wanting someone romantically once again. But its so strong that i probably wouldnt care even if that was the case.

Its to the point where imagining being with someone else seems unfeasible. And i can sometimes feel i wish i never met her just so i wouldnt feel so fucked because of her.

Fuck.
>>
I have been flirting with a married woman w/ kids. She’s ‘seperated’ from her husband but still married and lives with him. Today I got a BJ from her.

Issue is, i’m falling for her hard. I can’t get this beautiful woman out of my mind. I felt amazing for a while today but now I have incredible anxiety. I feel so strong for her it’s nonsensical, and i know it wont end well. My one-itis grows and grows. I don’t know what to do. She’s perfect lads.
>>
>>19882049
Take the initiative and confess. You only live once.
>>
I suspect that one of the things going on is that since I mostly talk to people online I have really just been talking to the same person. Multiple people were my parents and a lot of the girls were just Iris.

which is dumb. Pretending to be people yo uaren't doesn't make you those people. I hate all of you.

Just let me fucking go already. Just tell me what is going on. I know I'm not going to get it. You people just want me to think. It has nothing to do with anything real, just noise. You want me to think to combat dementia/alzhiemers shit but I refuse to do that.

I would rather fucking die than play your shitty game.
>>
I've been mad at my girlfriend and finally realized what it is causing my emotions. I thought it was her being a prude, but it is really her unwillingness to care about my feelings. To listen to what I think she should do.

I've been communicating to her for months about an issue she has from the wrong perspective. Makes me mad at myself.
>>
It feels like there's a mountain in front of me, and I have broken legs.
But I have to climb it.
I suppose this is what they mean when they say 'friends help you through tough times'
I just want to hug somebody
>>
I don't understand. It's been 1 year, 7months since you told me I was free. Since you told me I was out. Since you told me that I would be given a second lease on life.

Why? Why are you just fucking with me? Why? Why won't you tell me what is going on? Why won't you actually set me free? What the fuck did I do? Why are you fucking doing this to me?

I know nothing will happen on the 28th. I know nothing will happen on Halloween, on thanksgiving, on Christmas, or on New Years. I know that nothing will happen in 2019. I know that you will just continue to torture me year after year after year until I eventually fucking die. You fuckers are just going to keep torturing me until I die.

And I did absolutely fucking nothing to deserve any of this.

Yet... no one helps me.
>>
Any magic that could have been brought on by this is dead.

Something that should be filled with hope, life, and magic... you all killed it. You spent so much time, money, and effort to kill one person's dreams .

Why? Why did you do this to me? What did I do to any of you?
>>
>>19881282
I don't mind answering questions.
Thinking about Em is the only thing that makes me happy anyway.
Em is short for Emily. We met through swimming, and later discovered we lived less than a minute's walk from each other. That was seven years ago, she stuck around for about eight months while I tried to keep her out, and after that we were together for just over six years.

The reason she was my first everything was because my mom died in childbirth and my dad took it badly. He never beat me or blamed me or anything, but afterwards he was of the opinion that love was weak and frivolous, and extended that to familial love to. He fed me, housed me, and did everything else a single dad was meant to, but he never loved me, hugged me or comforted me. If I got a cut he'd fix it, but with the air of someone patching up a machine rather than a child.

This wasn't particularly good for my social skills, and I blame that, in part, for my lack of kisses and girlfriends until Em came along when I was 24.

History of hallucinations... I'd have to say not really. Even before Em died I heard her voice in my head sometimes, commenting on things around me. "That would be nice for the garden", "You know you shouldn't do that", that sort of thing.

How vivid? The ones I get now are completely vivid. I can hear her talk, see her moving about the house like she never left. I can wake up feeling her hair on my face and go to sleep feeling her touch on my arm. Her hair blows in the wind, and whenever it seems someone might walk 'through' her she moves aside. I can have complete conversations with her.
It's so easy to pretend she was never taken from me for days on end
>>
Everytime I see some "big whistleblower" news article that says something like "Women make up only 3% of <Insert Job here>", I think "Does society deserve an accusatory finger pointed at it for this?"

I mean, generally it's always a male-oriented job too. Do we need to blame someone for non-inclusion when it IS inclusive, it's just that women tend to not give a shit about said subject?

Take a predominantly male hobby and a predominantly female hobby. Say, model airplane flying and sewing, respectively. Why do we have to have a commotion about simple preferences?
>>
yes every time I see her I remember why I said the thing I said.

She really is crazy beautiful. I wish I knew more about her, you had me thinking that she was like me... the outcast, the unwanted, but then I think that was just to fuck with me.

She is the kind of girl I would crush on prettttyyyy hard and I do kind of tend to obsess.

But I trust her not at-fucking-all

KatSenia
>>
>>19882483
people need something to complain about
>>
I just don’t wanna feel empty as much as I do, I wish I had a companion to just be there with me. Doesn’t matter who it is just someone I can chat with at anytime to feel more lively.
>>
Me and my bf of 2 years clearly can't understand each other.
>>
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I feel uncomfortable around people. Socializing use to be so easy and desirable but after encountering abusive and toxic people I started to think all people are selfish and predatory, either out of pure ignorance or malicious intent. They have somehow poisoned me to a husk and I longer feel alive anymore. I'm surrounded by snakes and I can't trust no one, not even my family
>>
blowjob at any time
>>
I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm a sexual predator
I just need a better way to knock women out
>>
Feel a bit sad again. Hopefully you’re happy. I wish I didn’t love you, it would make things easier.
I’m so tired of everything.
>>
>>19882373
>The ones I get now are completely vivid. I can hear her talk, see her moving about the house like she never left. I can wake up feeling her hair on my face and go to sleep feeling her touch on my arm. Her hair blows in the wind, and whenever it seems someone might walk 'through' her she moves aside. I can have complete conversations with her.
>It's so easy to pretend she was never taken from me for days on end
wait, really??? did it happen on its own or is this something that can be induced? currently memory and imagination of him only ever registers as actual real sensory input in that half awake half asleep hypnagogic state.


>Even before
>voice in my head sometimes, commenting on things around me. "That would be nice for the garden", "You know you shouldn't do that", that sort of thing.
how did this part change into what it is now? how did it become intense enough to seem real? vivid is there. clarity too. not that intense. is the intensity what makes the difference or is it something else? going from that part to:
>Not really, of course, but I could pretend so hard I forgot I was pretending.
this part instead and having:
>I woke up feeling your hair tickle my face
this carry over into waking consciousness sounds highly appealing.

>My life was the same apart from that, but it seemed less bland with you in it.
>The world isn't grey the way it was before you now you're gone, it's dark, threatening and lonely. I was alone before, but not lonely.
>all I never knew I wanted, and now you're all I wish I had back.
>my first thoughts are still about whether you'd like this, whether that would make you happier.
>empty house that used to be home and call out that I got something for us, though it would always be for you, and the silence crushes me every time.
>tell me I'll stop feeling your loss so sharply with time, but I don't believe them. It's been almost a year now that I'm living this
because this is all too overwhelming to leave room for anything else.
>>
iwant to be a pretty lady
>>
Lmao so I guess I finally pissed off some discord people enough that they'd go for me. Little do they know I'm at the edge of suicide anyway and I'll gladly take any help to get me back there again. I love it when life works out for once.
>>
My father relapsed today. As far as I know, he's been eight years clean but I heard he was buzzing pretty hard when he came home from work on something we aren't sure of. He's under alot of stress, but I don't think I have it in me for another intervention or watch him inevitably overdose like he has twice in the past. It's a fucking miracle that he's still alive, but luck WILL run out. I always said that he'd be dead from a drug or alcohol related issue before I turn 25. I'm about to turn 27. I'll give it three years before something happens.

He's been in in-patient rehab twice and out-patient once, so he knows what to say to work the system. It's ultimately on him, it's his decision, but it's going to really be hard on everyone to go through this shit all over again. He's the type of addict that doesn't know when to stop, the type that will get high off of anything possible, and the type of addict who spends every hour of every day fucked up. I'm not going to stand around to watch him self destruct, there's nothing I can do, and being around him is only going to make things harder on me. I'll offer whatever help I can, but I'm not going to expose myself to that type of shit again.

He's seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I'm going to talk to my mother about possibly moving the therapy appointments to once a week instead of biweekly if possible. That will only work if he wants help and is being completely honest with them. I'll do all I can, but like I said, I'm not going to watch him do this again. I have my own problems to worry about, and I'll offer help all I can, but I'm not going to watch if he refuses help. I have my own problems to work on and I can't be worrying about this shit right now.
>>
>>19880274
What did they do, anon? Get it out and tell us we are nosey people on 4chan.
>>
That nigger gave me my wallet back after the cops stole it.

He’s also into ABDL.
>>
Im terrified to leave him because i am certain his anger would be so great he would kill me and anyone i dare to associate with. God have mercy on me. If i dont feel safe enough to leave this cage, but at least heal him so he isnt so cruel and hateful of the world.
>>
>>19883196
Safe house...
>>
>>19883277
He knows where my family lives, it not just me in danger. Other people are at risk too because he will try to find me. I think i am fucked.
>>
>>19883284
You're crazy. I don't believe you're in any real danger at all
>>
>>19883287
Kind of hard not to go crazy in this house my dude. I wont be in any life threatening danger if i stay with him, as long as he has me he wont be killing me, so youre half correct.
>>
I'm pretty damn sure weed is the only one in life that's keeping me together.
I can't handle being sober after that shit you put me through you fucking whore! I'm glad your family's fucked in the head. At least I know for sure that your life sucks to some extent. I hope you still have nightmares about your grandma.
>>
Please say something...
>>
i am freaking out.

on one hand i don't belong here.
on the other, what if i don't belong anywhere?
>>
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>had a gf 5 years ago
>we had great chemistry, everyone else noted on how great we were together
>I broke up with her because I had intimacy issues
>repressed my feelings for her for years
>they've come back badly recently
>think about how we're supposed to be with each other
>see her facebook
>see that she still hangs out with the same fucked up people
>I dislike them because I think they're shitty
>my feelings for her diminish to almost nothing
>despite that
>I still remember how good our chemistry was
>wonder if I'm being too judgemental and that we honestly still have something worth salvaging

She liked me a lot too and I know this 100%. The amount of disdain she treated me with for years just goes to show that she liked me an awful lot. We only were together for less than a year and she couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge my existence for 3+ years.

I consider myself a rational person and I can dissuade myself from silly infatuations and impulses with ease but this one just won't go away. Despite the amount of arguing I do with myself I can't help but want to be with her, even though I see so much evidence to support the fact that I should have nothing to do with her.

This comment is probably too long for anyone to want to read but it's fucking me up badly
>>
I am feel awkward 100% of the time online and irl.
>>
>>19883414
I read it...
Have you worked on your intimacy issues? What evidence?
>>
>>19883418
I am currently cringing at the fact that I screwed that sentence up.
>>
>>19883431
I have worked on them a lot. off of my own back and with therapy. I had a shitty childhood which I'm well aware of how it effected me

Well she still hangs out with shitty, bitchy and unfaithful people who I distanced myself from. She turned slutty after we broke up and I normally drop all romantic interest in women who show signs of being slutty. She can be a bit of a bully. I just seem to overlook all of that because I know there is a very human person in there, I've literally seen it myself
>>
>>19883438
Inside every monster is a man and inside every man is a monster. Jesus didnt hang out with saints but with sinners, judge not her friends when the plank in your own eye is so blatant
>>
>>19883445
I guess you're right. My friends are pretty shitty too actually. I've literally never behaved this way before, I feel like I'm going crazy. She has a boyfriend and we haven't spoken in so long, but I feel like I have to do something about this. It is really unlike me
>>
Took a risk and took a job because it was in IT. Was warned by someone who knows the owner well that he was a shitbag and not to take it but I really wanted to be back in IT and the time spent there would look good on my resume so I took it. Everyone always saying great job, no issues other than my supervisor jumping down my neck for having to go to court dates. Then one day boss pulls me into office and says it not working out. Then says I violated a non compete which I did not, when I inform him of that he says it was customer complaints which I never heard a word about. I've been looking for work but it hasn't been a fruitsome endeavor so far. Still waiting to find out if I will get unemployment or not, losing my mind because I'm bored broke and not found a job yet. I was already having a hard time before this with anxiety and depression and now this. I also don't have insurance and am out of meds, not that they were helping much anyways, doctor doesn't want to prescribe me anything that actually works like a small dose of xanax or something. Was taking buspar but now I've been without it a while I don't think it was doing much of anything. I don't know what to do. Bill's aren't getting paid as well. I should just go shoot some evil fuckers and be done with it. Maybe then my life might be worth SOMETHING.
>>
>>19883461
Go to her as you are, a sinner, and don't try to fool her into thinking youre a saint. Confront your sins together if she will allow it and overcome them. If she will not allow it, you will have to pray for her and confront your own demons in the mean time.
>>
I wish I could just fucking die already but I can't do that to my parents. I gotta wait until they both die first so I can follow suit and off myself but God knows how long that'll be.
>>
>>19878565
I'm sick of all the underage b& high school kids making this shit site even more shit
>>
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What was her name, bros?
>>
>>19883798
You know nothing about the history of 4chan. It's ALWAYS been a cesspool of underage b&. The 18+ is for legal reasons. Moot was 15 when he made this shit hole and if you think he was the only one underage from SA you are naive as all fuck.
>>
I'm fucking angry at my boss.
He thinks he can make decissions with zero fucking knowledge of what is going on AND what will cause huge problems in the future.
>>
>>19883812
Emily.. Fuck you emily.
>>
Was it worth throwing everything away for whatever craziness is going on inside your head?
>>
>>19883862
Is it really craziness?
>>
>>19883862
I had nothing from the start, asshole. I was ALWAYS crazy.
>>
>>19883862
Yes it was and I'm gonna do it again.
>>
>>19883862
Initials or can you elaborate? I think this is for me. Please talk to me.
>>
>>19883862
You wouldnt let me have it anyways. You threw it away against my will. And THAT is what drives me crazy.
>>
>>19883915
How do you know this is for you?
>>
Just had a dream where one of my biggest regrets apologized to me and now I want to cry
>>
>>19883926
Who cares. I am larping to vent, you retard.
>>
>>19883934
Fuck you piece of shit
>>
>>19883937
You arent much better, are you? Dont take it so personally. No one has a name here, that message could be for anyone, and anyone could be in a situation where that message applies to them.
>>
You people are a fucking mess i swear to god i will burn this place to the ground one day
>>
>>19883944
Fuck you
>>
My emotionally abusive boyfriend became physically abusive and lol I want to destroy myself because this shit is too hard to deal with.
I'm going to do some drugs now.
>>
>>19883955
What the actual fuck is your problem.
>>
>>19883960
Seek help. Don't give in.
>>
>>19883964
I already took him back.
>>
>>19883960
I was in the same situation. But i picked up a sword to fight instead of drugs to trap me more. If youre pure enough, he may even begin to change like mine did. But dont do this, i know you wont be strong or pure enough to make a man out of a monster. Just leave him asap.
>>
all my life i thought i was too ugly to get a girl. (im not very ugly, for the record) or maybe im too un-manly to get a girl. i spent years trying to develop a personality, try to get people to like me, only for all of it to go down the drain. given all that happened, i gave up on being a fun person, or ever getting a girl

i was crushing on a girl last winter, and i found out she had a boyfriend. the guy is effeminate as fuck, and uglier than i am. hes probably taller than me, but if that isnt the case, the personality meme actually worked out for him.

i dont know what to do anymore. i give up
>>
>>19883961
That wasn't even me...
>>
>>19883972
Call it off and seek help for God's sake!
>>
>>19883977
I dont know who is who, and i dont know why there is aggression over this in the first place. You and everyone else here share the same name, you know? So one fuck you is the same as all the other fuck yous to me.
>>
My $200 phone that I just bought last year is all fucked up now with purple splotches all over the screen. This is the last thing I needed.
>>
>>19883974
Your advice is self contradicting.
>>
>>19884026
Nah. You can make monsters of men and you can also turn monsters back into men. Its possible to make the biggest scum feel guilt and attempt to repent. Or you can focus on your own demons and not get involved with it in the first place. When you understand humans are a duality, ca0able of good and evil no matter the person, you can overcome demons of your own and others. You just have to be willing to heal, even if you get hurt, and not many are up to the task of self sacrifice for another being.
>>
>>19883997
Hush, schizo-chan <3
>>
The eternal supporting character.

When people meet me they meet the love of their life and then they leave me.

I am cupid in the flesh, as scarred and ugly as you would have a god of something so vicious and harsh as love.

What I give to others I shall never have myself but that doesn't matter as my duty is my calling.

Giving people the greatest joy in their lives, I know what they need exactly because I can see their longing and I know it. I know every longing for love there is because I have felt the longing for any type of love all up and down its cracks and rims.

The god of disgusting ideas and stupid childishness. With stupid ideas and an insane mind, all hail me.
>>
>>19884057
>being this egotistical.
>>
>>19884061
What do you mean?

It's like magic, if I stay in peoples presence long enough they find who they really want in life.
>>
>>19884061
Not him, but thats better than being a sad cunt with no confidence.
>>
Tfw made myself look like a dumbass in front of a cute girl
Im not being self conscious, i genuinely did something stupid af
>>
>>19884063
>Giving people the greatest joy in their lives, I know what they need exactly because I can see their longing and I know it.
I'm sure you can't see it, but that's a pretty inflated view of yourself no matter who you are.

>>19884064
>Not him, but thats better than being a sad cunt with no confidence.
Who said he can't be both? Nigga describes himself as a supporting character in his own life and a god in the same breath.
>>
>>19882772
> did it happen on its own or is this something that can be induced
Sort of half and half, It started on its own, I think, but I never did anything against it and did my best to stay in that state.
> how did this part change into what it is now?
Before it was just her voice commenting on things sometimes, but alongside my internal monologue, in my head. Now it'll be external, I can see her, feel her, anything I can do with real people.
There are times when my imagination of her presence is as strong as genuine sensory input. I don't know how or why it became like this.
I'm not sure how to describe vivdness, clarity and intensity other than that, to me, at times, she's as real as anything else.

> this carry over into waking consciousness sounds highly appealing.
It is. When I think she's still there life still has a point. I can wake up in the morning and not spend four hours in bed because I can't think of anything I'd do if I stood up. I can go to work without having to force myself to every second because there's a reason to want money to buy stuff. I know I keep repeating myself, but she was everything for me, and now she's gone and I feel like there's nothing left.
>>
>>19884079
A God is a supporting character. Why do you think people pray to them?
>>
>>19884088
If you wanted some old articaft found would you ask Indiana Jones or Short Round for help?
>>
>>19884105
Getting what you want != support
Suppprt comes in many, many forms. Also. Do not use Gods name in vanity, this doesnt mean swearing, it means you asking god for selfish shit from god is wrong. You used his name for vanity.
>>
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>>19884126
>>
>>19884088
>unironically calling yourself a god and thinking you don't have a serious problem
Bruh as long as we're being vaguely spiritual, pride is what gets angels cast out of heaven.
>>
>>19884127
Unfunny, uncreative and nothing intelligent was said from you. Cant say i didnt expect this.
>>
>>19884132
We are all Gods, of the most high. But you will die as a prince.
>>
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>>19884135
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>>19884132
Angels huh? You mean like from the bible? Hmm what does the bible have to say about this subject. Well lets go to ol' Psalm 82 and find out!

A Psalm of Asaph.

God presides in the divine assembly;

He renders judgment among the gods:

“How long will you judge unjustly

and show partiality to the wicked?


Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;

uphold the rights of the afflicted and oppressed.

Rescue the weak and needy;

save them from the hand of the wicked.

They do not know or understand;

they wander in the darkness;

all the foundations of the earth are shaken.”

I have said, “You are gods;

you are all sons of the Most High.

But like mortals you will die,

and like rulers you will fall.”

Rise up, O God, judge the earth,

for all the nations are Your inheritance.
>>
>>19884162
Psalms is for niggers too scared to convert to Islam
>>
About to make 10 squats
>>
>>19884165
Gotta go parallel or below
>>
>>19884164
Why would I convert to the God of the moon, Allah? That is idolatry.
>>
goddamn I'm a joke
>>
just saying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF_dkK-eYWM
>>
>>19884189
What happened, anon?
>>
Is it too late to talk to you? I hate this, youre cruel, but i will never hate you even if this emotion is eating me up and tormenting me. God damnit, i should have kissed you goodbye at least. Im cruel too...
>>
>>19884240
I should've killed myself long ago but I keep trying
>>
>>19883852
What did I do?
>>
My husband is never home. It hurts. I know i‘m not much fun lately but it still hurts.
>>
Help me get over Her? Please? She's destroying me. Talk to me.
>>
>>19884309
You'll be OK anon.
>>
>>19878565
I'm on no-fap, three days in. The whole point of this was so I could then fuck myself in the ass and try and get a prostate orgasm. Only problem is that guests suddenly turned up so I won't be able to do it for another week. I don't know if I should just bite the bullet and wait to do anal or masturbate today and abandon the endeavour altogether.
>>
>>19884309
Speak, I will hear you and respond genuienly the best i can. But your post is too vague for advice. What is the nature of your relationship? And what specifically makes you want her?
>>
I want to get back into schooling, but what degrees aren't complete sausage fests? I wanted to go for computer science but if it's 99.99% dudes ehh....
>>
>>19884321
Well putting things up your ass is pretty gay, so I'd advise against it.
>>
>>19884329
Thanks, anon. I know that. But I wanna try something different, my dude. Maybe I should just masturbate every three days and take my chance if the opportunity arises?
>>
>>19884334
I mean sure, if you're gay.
>>
>>19884337
Thanks Anon.
>>
>>19884321
I'm also on nofap, it's been about one week now. I wanted to get a prostitute this friday but I pussied out calling her.
>>
I hate my fucking college's social life.

Most of us (us being me and the rest of the students) fall into that stereotype of "haha socially awkward and introverted nerd xddd", including me. But good God, I didn't think it would be this fucking bad. Last semester was my first (I was a January freshman), and I think I went the entire semester without even seeing a good 95% of my dorm suite (the section of the dorm building my room was in) once. For context, in the freshman dorms, there were 2-3 people to a room with around 8 rooms per suite, so that's basically 15 to 23 people I didn't even see once. Fucking once. I wouldn't be able to pick them out in a lineup if you gave me 1,000 tries.

The parties are horrible, if you're even able to go (my friends and I weren't even allowed to go to a couple of parties purely because we were freshmen). There's zero Greek life on campus because frats and sororities are banned entirely. As someone who's already introverted, socially awkward and anxious, and just not that good at socializing to begin with, it's already hard enough to talk to people and not feel like I don't belong, without this making it seem like I shouldn't even fucking try because everyone's closed off to the idea.

And since we're a tech-only school, the gender split is fucking insane. 66% of us are guys, and I've heard from people in the know that that figure's rising to 75% this semester. Most of the girls who do attend are in the nursing program, and the way our nursing program operates, they leave the campus entirely for 2 years to work, study and dorm at a nearby medical school - which to clarify, is fucking awesome and as a CS major I wish there was something similar I had access to. But I assume you can see the problem here.

I'm going back for my second semester in a couple weeks and I have no idea how I'm going to make any more friends because I suck enough at socializing as is without all this bullshit going on.
>>
>>19884309
Post your initials, im paranoid its (You). If it is you, here is a good place to start talking to me.
>>
>>19880894
I just don't see how in any world it's a good idea to say such things to a woman who isn't already in love with you
>>
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Ive been talking to a girl for the past week that appears to be something possibly good but I just realized we're talking like im a gay friend for her and Im laughing but also kinda depressed about that
>>
If you think I am stalking you, you are so mistaken its funny as fuck to me. I dont go there to see you. Youre boring. But your family is cool so i like to see them and they like seeing me. You are just a self centered babby, get over yourself. You cant honestly think i am interested in your dick. Thanks.
>>
Heh, sometimes i think about going to your house, knocking on the door and looking at you with the smuggest grin i can muster, and then walk away. DOOOOUUUDA?
>>
You don't have to play games to prove I'm not a priority to you. I made you a priority but I don't expect it back. It was a mistake for me to do that. You kinda led me on, you need to admit that to yourself. I can't be gaslit. I'll back off
>>
>>19884867
SOOOKKA. Lead you on how?
>>
it's still surreal that we're meeting again tomorrow, after all that happened.
on the one hand, I am fucking ecstatic about it. on the other hand, however, I am fucking terrified.
>>
>>19883862
No.
>>
You're leaving me. I know you're following your dreams, but I can't help but want to clip your wings. It seems like we were at the beginning of something that now will never see the light of day. Work isnt the same without you. Its unbearable even. You were the light that made my job bearable. My escapism.
You say you'll be back but how long can I wait. I cant. I have to try to move on from something that was never really anything. And still I'll miss you so fucking much.
>>
>>19884867
Fug it, youre probably not him but here it goes...

Dont worry, you can still play with me in your head like you do every night. Gotta say, it turns me on to know i am the first lips on that D. Guess i was a cherry boy hunta, didnt try to be but yeah. Youre right. I led you the fuck on. Because there was a point in time i REALLY wanted the D, but can you blame a girl who never been in bed with a boy before that moment? I was starving, and it could have been a loooot more fun, but you have actual decency. Damn you.
>>
>>19884902
Not him, I'm a girl.
>>
I was angry with you, and I didn’t know why, but now I know, and we’ve talked... but what really bothers me is that I can’t even... I can’t even tell you how much you mean to me. Because if I do, none of the pain and the hard work I put into getting over you will matter anymore. I’d have to start from scratch, and I can’t.
>>
>>19884178
Because 3 hours to Google inaccurate information is what Islam is all about. You'd fight right in, until they cut your head of with one of those salami swords for being a faggot
>>
>>19884189
We all are, is why we're here.
>>
>>19884932
The fuck are you talking about. Dont tell me you are clueless to Mohammeds idol smashing? Leaving one idol is still having an idol.
>>
>>19884932
Allah is a bitch nigga to YHWH. If you arent using his real name you will never be saved and worship an imposter
>>
>>19884923
This hits too close to home </3. I don’t want to get him over though.
>>
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>>19884700
Leading me on at first and turning cold on me at the last minute... Typical slut move.
>>
>>19885005
Me neither, but I guess I have to...
>>
>>19885006
Whats the matter? Thought people were a game. Those were your words. YOU lived in that delusional world and lead ME on fag. Gave you a number? "No i dont want it" "wait i want it after all give me # pls" Never call me but expected me to want you after that bs. Kudana. You started it, i just stopped caring. You had my heart in your hands, but were distracted by stupid shit and you treated me like shit too. The game was boring and i dont see people as a game like you do. I was NOT interested in stupid games. Never was, never will.
>>
>>19885050
Go ahead and trash talk. I don't need your funk.
>>
Haha, you don't feel remorse for what you did to me. Thanks.
>>
>>19885050
Oh and, yeah. I got with trash, like i knew you would have hated me too. Found the most degenerate faggot tripfag on 4chan i could find and bought him a plane ticket. But you know what. Hes not trash, no one in this world is. People who are sick need to be healed not shunned. So im helping and focussing on him. He needs this, he needs me. I didnt want to play games. When i saw someone in pain and loneliness, like you were, im inclined to approach them. But i cant heal sick people who reject me so coldly. I can only heal if its wanted. And you made it so clear you wanted to remain sick.
>>
>>19884085
>I can see her, feel her, anything I can do with real people.
>There are times when my imagination of her presence is as strong as genuine sensory input.
>other than that, to me, at times, she's as real as anything else.
>It is. When I think she's still there life still has a point. I can wake up in the morning and not spend four hours in bed because I can't think of anything I'd do if I stood up.
this is the first time in almost a full year that i've felt anything even remotely resembling real solid actual hope. thank you so much.
>>
>>19885066
Youre not him anyways. Thanks for the larp tho
>>
>>19885068
What did they do?
>>
>>19885072
Ntayrt but wtf. You actually met a tripfag? Which one? Fucking WHY and HOW LOL
>>
I lost the count after a month, I've never gone this long without playing dota, the abstinence syndrome symptoms are getting better but from time to time I feel the crushing desperation, however I've come to realize that's mostly because when I was bored as fuck there was always something to do/watch on the PC and now I find myself traped in a room with nothing to do... well not really but you get the idea.

I've been playing mtg to get myself to do something in the weekends that I used to spend playing vidya, I could even call it an upgrade since it's an actually social activity however I found myself building a monored deck despite convincing myself I wouldn't but fuck it monored is fun as fuck.

Also I've managed to focus more on my job but most of my entertainment/de-stress was done on my PC so I do think my stress levels are going up, specially because the fact that I still need to repair my PC is also a cause of stress.

Whatever, hopefully before this month's end I'm back to normal... then again I'm not even sure what "normal" is anymore.
>>
>>19885097
Wont say it. He was a super old one, his OG trip was permabanned waaaay back in the day because he literally would stop posting even to sleep. Godly and dedicated shitposter. Insufferable cunt. He was a notorious tripfag from /a/, became a namefag, and now people are always calling me Cuppy in the 3x3 threads if i post my own 3x3 because we connected on our very similar tastes. Fucking reeeeEEEEEE.

Tl;dr
>connect with tripfag years back and steam chat, muh first true friend
>get sad because of rejection by faggot
>"dw bby ill try to leave all these drugs and degeneracy behind 4 u"
>"maybe this will help with my hatred of womyn because youre cool in the steam chat"
>ok
>married
>>
>>19885118
>married to a tripf/a/g
i dont know how to say this, but you probably made a huge mistake. How long have you been together?
>>
>>19885118
fucking KEK. should i put on a trip and hunt for 4chan honeys with my shitposting powers? you seem like a nice gal, kind of a batty ass cunt, no doubt you have some mental issues lass, but it seemed justified at least to reject that cuck so cold and move on.
>>
>>19885130
3 years total, married aprox two years. Hes crazy as fuck, thinks the earth is flat n shiet. Super religious everything is paganism or satan to him. Got anger issues, BAD, thinks i am the spirit of Jesus Christ(good grief im a huge sinner you dork). He is not a well person, but no one in this world is, so why not accept this and help the sick if you know how to, if youre willing to sacrifice for it? All monsters can be made into men.
>>
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>>19885174
I hate to say it but that tripfag is going to ruin you, bb girl dont do this to yourself. There are men more well than this you must know that. Why fight such an uphill battle by yourself, he clearly isnt worth this
>mfw thinking of you hurting
>>
>>19885187
I accepted a long ass time ago even the most innocent looking and unassuming man will hurt me, because inside every man lurks a literal phsycal intangible BEAST. Im not afraid of being hurt or destroyed anymore lol I can rebuild myself into a better person, never regret your past if you learned something from it.
>>
>>19885066
BOOOOOO!
JUST FUCK ALREADY
>>
>>19884057
Initials of the author of this beautiful piece, please or a nom de plume (try an anagrammatical alias)
>>
>>19885194
>inside every man lurks a literal phsycal intangible BEAST
Pic related, that beast personified
Stay safe for me, ok? You should consider divorcing that faggot.
>>
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>>19885212
FUCK.
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>>19885066
Youve always been a man of few words, but you still have a very perverted imagination. Your lust will be your own hell.
>>
>>19884895
Why don’t you go with?




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