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Old one's dying
Just like our interest
Back and forth up and down
Let's bring some light to this mess

Initials are good you fucks be brave
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>>20118914
No thread title?
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>>20118914
I feels so fucking lonely
>>
Fuck all y'all.
>>
Which is worse: to watch your academic and career prospects, a path which has guided the course of your entire life crumble before your very eyes because you got lazy and depressed? This oncoming inevitable failure will leave a scar on your professional reputation in the eyes of all your mentors, peers and family because you were once on top of it all. And there's no safety net after you do fail.

Or should I just kill myself cause I won't get anywhere I want in life regardless?
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>>20118989

This ain't an advice thread faggot where is your passion? Where is your anger? Why are you lazy and depressed you stupid fuck just off yourself now
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>>20118914
Should've put GIOYC in the subject field so people could better find it. That aside,

Why the fuck did you tell me you wanted to be friends if you weren't gonna talk to me anymore? Do you know how hard it is that I'm left with all these photos of you, of us, and you just fucking left? Do you know how often I think about the memories we've made? Do you even care? I'd bet good money you don't. You just up and fucking moved on, just like that. You're gonna have a great life full of amazing experiences, and I'll just be here, wistfully and tearfully noting every so often how you're the one that got away. Fuck you. Fuck everyone.
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>>20118966
you are not alone being lonely
me too
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>>20119008
B, funny you tell someone you only want to talk to them not really hang out just chat over text. but then you dont talk to me and get aggravated when i try to talk to you. like just tell me you dont want me around if that is the case
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>>20118914
I just had two weeks off and spent every waking minute studyig or working. And what happens when I get back and have my first quiz? I get a bunch of shit that literally wasn't in the lectures or my study, and a bunch of vague shit I'm meant to make the same inference about that the lecturer did. Almost fucking failed it. So now that I DON'T have the time to study 24/7 like a good boy, which should I fucking bother trying at all when my best isn't good enough?
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She is so pretty interesting and kind... but so is my gf.

It makes it harder to know how much she wants me, but I just feel torn between two people even though I would never leave her for you. I'm sorry.
>>
I can't fucking stand the fact that I tried every possible way to get a gf and yet I have none. Meanwhile people around me are in happy long term relationships, getting engaged and married. And I'm in the same spot I was 5 years ago, i.e. lonely and depressed as hell.

Even when people try hooking me up with their female friend it doesn't work. Fuck me fuck FUCK
>>
Girl is giving me mixed messages.
Friends and family tell me to run because she doesn't know what she wants.
How do I distance myself so she can have the space she clearly wants but doesn't want to ask for because she still wants me around.
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>>20119219
You don't know enough about relationships to make them work. It's like trying to drive a plane if all you've ever driven is cars. Failure only begets success if you can understand what went wrong.
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>>20119324
I suppose that's correct. I tried to understand it though. I observed, I talked to people, read up on all that, analyzed shit. I suppose I've been alone for so long that at this point it's really irreperable damage. Girls aren't interested in me anyways...
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>>20119328
No its never irreperable.
You know, what you need is confidence in yourself. That's what girls look for more than anything else.
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>>20119336
No, anon. I am confident. It doesn't really change anything though. All possible attempts are a failure. Girls just don't like me in "that" way. They're okay with me but they're just not interested in being with me.

And honestly at this point I don't even know how could I actually BE with a girl. I've never gotten past the point of dating for a month, and that was with a girl that was heavily displaying interest in me.
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>>20118999
trips have spoken. but please don't >>20118989


just start over. move somewhere and be a waiter and just make it work. the struggle is fun if you are free from the burden of feeling bad that you are wasting your talent.
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>>20119144
C's get degrees dude. just work hard enough to pass this course and work hard on the things you can actually do well.
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>>20118914
jet fuel can't melt steel beams
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>>20119356
Just like love can't melt the ice gathered up in my heart.
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>>20119359
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>>20119364
Just kidding. It can melt it, I'm just not getting any love or warmth in my life, beside that of a shower with hot water.
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>>20119359
That's what I thought too anon.
Hang in there.
I've been blessed with seeing how wrong I was. Now I get to live life again feeling love and joy for the first time in years.
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>>20119384
I don't know, anon. My life has been pretty shit so far with this year being extremely hard on me by far. Not a single good thing has happened to me in 2018, it's been a downward spiral so far. I feel like life is testing how hard it can curb stomp me before I just snap and kill myself. I've been rather close to it already and it's not getting any better.
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>>20119387
But you are still alive.
That which doesnt kill us makes us stronger.
Hang in there. Things will get better. Maybe not today or this week or this year. But they will get better.
Only 2 months left to this year. I believe in you.
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>>20119409
>That which doesnt kill us makes us stronger.
I don't feel stronger anon, I feel weaker. I'm a lot less motivated to do anything, I generally have less energy and am even more scared of interacting with girls. My life feels like I'm just vegetating at this point.

>Hang in there. Things will get better. Maybe not today or this week or this year. But they will get better.
I doubt it. Like I said, it's been a downward spiral. It just doesn't get any better.

>Only 2 months left to this year. I believe in you.
Yeah that's what I thought a year ago too. But the first day of 2018 was already shit and I just knew it's not gonna get any better. It didn't.
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>>20118914
>Jerks off to any kind of porn everyday for 11 years
>Everytime I go out and look at stuff, I begin to contemplate and over complicate the philosophy behind a certain thing, person or building I look at
>Suddenly, my brain fabricate certain scenarios of how I have sex with a person or thing I lay my eyes upon
>What in the actual fuck
>Can't stare at a thing for just 10 seconds without having a giant boner
>Trashcans? transforms into a woman and how I fuck it. Random old lady? Brain gives me a disgusting sex scene with her. EVEN A FUCKING CHILD COULDN'T DOUSE MY BRAIN'S ABYSSAL LUST FOR PORN

I don't go out my ways and stick my dick on every thing I see, but my brain wouldn't control itself.
>>
I've written a letter that I want to send rather sooner than later. But it needs more time, so I must wait until the end of october. After that, probably until the end of november. This is killing me, although I think that the letter will be useless anyways. It's driving me insane...
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>>20119489
Don't. I also sent a letter. She didn't even receive it (literally told the postman she doesn't want it). I just burned it when it returned. I fucking cried when doing that.
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I'm a pathological liar because I'm a self conscious coward and now that various things in my life are on the downswing (loved my ex who didn't love me back, about to graduate with no prospects) I've got nothing to fall back on since most of my identity is based on lies.

Feels like I'm in free fall right now
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Soon to be 24 and still no gf. I can understand how this happened but Im still sad.
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>>20119495
Well, it'll be an eMail to be precise and I fully expect no answer. But it will bring me closure. I'm cried a lot, so it won't be that bad.
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The amount of hate and vitriol in my chest that I supress sometimes makes me physically sick.

I live in a small island country, corrupt as fuck and the people are angry but complacent. Government entities and rich bigwigs overdevelop the land and do what they want with the rule of law. I understand the way of things here is that "everybody knows everybody, so appearances and reputation are paramount" to the extent that it goes full retard but.. how can some sort of "justice" be achieved?

I admit, the only way I can think of is violence. How many peaceful protests, calls for resignation and petitions need to be ignored before someone just flat-out stabs a policymaker? We have almost no greenery left on the island, the land keeps being sold to build more high-risers, malls and complexes, even in the middle of residential areas where nothing goes beyond 2 stories. The noise, the dust, the lack of safety regulations and the cavalier attitude of everyone in the construction industry.

What is left to do when your country is being sold out to construction magnates and mafia bosses?

Finding out who approves these projects and putting a few knives in their guts with a stern warning to quit that shit is the only way I can see things changing for the better. Nobody will stop if they don't see a good reason to stop. A clear threat on your life is one nobody can ignore.

Am I wrong? How can it be done differently?
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>>20118914
A, I treasure our time together. Drinking, talking, cuddling, kissing. I've never been able to be myself around anyone else, but with you I can. We're two kinds of fucked up but I think we just get each other. Thank you for being you. You are amazing and special, and I care for you very much. Meeting in such an unconventional way, I was not expecting to have these feelings, but the universe had other plans. I am not sure what the future will bring, but I hope we can enjoy it together, always. -A
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>>20119489
Are you me? I too have a letter. It too has waited a few weeks at this point. I might just give it to her in person, but I thought a mid-day, feel good letter could be a solid move.
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>>20119521
No. Don't email unless you do not know the physical address. No one writes letters anymore. You get bonus points for the thought and time invested.
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>>20119538
Interesting point! Yeah, why not. Gives me something to do. But she doesn't lives alone, so I'm scared that she doesn't get the letter...
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>>20119521
There won't be a closure. Don't do it, anon.
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>>20119529
Wew lad, your problems are a cut above most of the relationship bullshit on this forum.

You've got fire in your heart, use it. Violence begets more violence, and it does have the power to change things for better or for worse. Use the energy from that anger and work the system first, try to change things from the inside. If that fails and you still burn for your country then violence may be your answer
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Dear M,

I want to know you. To understand your fears. To live in your shoes for a day. I want to show you the same, of my life. Not to expose you to the fear I have but to explain what I've been through. How much pain I've seen. And how dispite everything you always Always without doing anything Just by existing You make me so happy I can't even express it in words properly.
It's like I was a prisoner, unconscious in my own body. I was afraid to live and I was letting pain seperate me from doing the things I love.
Now all I want is to bring you joy. I don't need anything else from you. You already made my world into a world again. You gave me my life back. Let me keep making you smile.

I respect you.
R
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>>20119570
As I said, I don't expect her to answer the letter nor appreciate it, this isn't even needed. I just need to get a few things off my chest to be in the clear with MYSELF. I can't go on like this. It keeps me awake at night. I just want her to know. Of course I'm also trying to win her over again, but if not, that's okay, I understand that. After that I can let her go in peace.
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>>20119604
Just give us the letter instead. You'll only hurt yourself if you hold on to this hope. If she wants you back she'll come find you.
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>>20119548
Addressed to her name, at said address. Put it in a card, send via postal service, stamp and all. You can falsify the return address or use none at all if you think it would get filtered by a roomie. Why would someone tamper with the other's mail? They don't know your card from a grandmothers birthday wishes, etc.

Yes, it could get lost anywhere, USPS (if you are stateside) is abysmal in my opinion.. but.. it speaks to a simpler, slower time. And if this letter hits home in a good way, she (assuming) now has a keepsake, and not a digital item to forget.
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>>20119612
Addendum to my post.. if she lives with a BF or husband then that's a totally diff story.. and I've no further advice for you there.
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>>20119604
Anon. I did that too, she didn't even read it. Don't bother.

She doesn't give a shit. Literally everyone I talked to about that told me not to send her that shit and not to look for closure. I sent it anyway and it hurt like hell. Spare yourself the pain.
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>>20119596
*golf clap* Leave out the fear/pain sentence, and go fucking tell them it all! Letter, email, skywriting!
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>>20119583
Yeah heh, I don't often post because nobody can really help with this kind of shit.

I understand violence begets violence. I don't believe it should ever be used first, but I believe it is still a tool. I'm torn though, I care, a lot, but I also care about living my own life separate from these problems (so much so, I'm emigrating). I never really said I would be the one doing such acts. I'm just frustrated and trying to philosophize a different method to achieve a goal, but I always end up at "they will not listen due to how my people are built, culturally".

History kindof answers my question though now that I think about it. A huge chunk of goals have been won through violence. Always with consequences. It could be the intended outcome: Bigshots calm down, people are happy, country back into a good course. But could also turn it into a police state, more surveillance, less rights for the people from paranoid politicians. Maybe the violence would be decried by the people and the person who does these acts demonized and labeled an insane extremist.

One question, too many fucking answers.
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>>20119610
I can't translate the letter (it's non-english obviously). Also 'getting her back' is secondary. It isn't even that important anymore.

>>20119612
They would temper with it, because they would know instantly that the letter's from me. To protect her, I suppose.

Oh well, I will just drive by her place and hand it to her, given the time I guess.

>>20119616
Tell me what happened, anon. What was the point of your letter?
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>>20119651
Sounds like you should leave her alone. You're being super creepy if 3rd parties are trying to protect her from you. Try to be tiny bit less selfish and let her go.
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>>20119651
>Tell me what happened, anon. What was the point of your letter?
I just wanted to end our relation on a good note and wanted to send her a letter wishing her all the best and saying that despite some bad shit between us I still think she's great and how she was wrong about me (she said she thinks I fell for an imagined version of her, not real her, which isn't true). I also wanted to send her a little token, which would remind her of me one day.
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>>20119621
I can't yet or it'll ruin everything. Things are still a bit unclear between us and she has some thinking to do of her own. She's trying to get over an ex and doesn't want to emotionally attach to me as a bounce back.

I'll say it eventually. Right now she needs time and space. I'll keep patient and keep making her smile when I can in the mean time. That's enough for me.
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>>20119659
Ah, no, sorry, not a native speaker. I don't stalk her or some shit. I keep her blocked and I don't message her. What I meant was something like: Oh a letter from that guy, better trash it right away and don't say anything. If she does it, fine. That's cool. If someone else does it, it's not good. I could do a hail mary and just send it, but it would feel wrong.

>>20119670
It's the other way in my case. I broke up, she wanted to end it in a kind and warm way, I dropped atomic bombs on her, which was inappropriate. I just need to apologize. When she read it or heard it, that's all I want and need.
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>>20119683
Let go, anon. Let it go. If you fucked up then it's even more likely she won't want to read it and will just throw it away without reading.
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>>20119683
Forgot to add: She was always open to apologies, never rejected then, even at our worst times. If she rejects it now, then all is lost and I must live with it. But there's a chance she will accept it. That's all I want. To hope for more would be foolish.
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>>20119691
>just live with the fuck up
>get a 'Fuck you' from her

I choose the latter.
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Should I really add her on facebook? I have nothing on my feed and I don't want to get ignored...
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dont cut yourself hun <3
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>>20119677
Hm. Wonder if I'm in the same boat. I get mixed signals... and I have very similar feelings as you do for my crush.
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>>20119717
Probably anon. Show interest but not too much interest. Always put on the air that you will be okay even if they're not around, not in a dickish way. What worked for me was taking the spare energy I get when I think about her and transforming it into exercise and meeting other new people. If you just snub conversation with others to talk to her that's a bit too much. But do try and include her in it. If she wants to spend personal time with you she'll ask. I didn't think my crush would but she has multiple times now.
Patience.
>>
I left the girl that I love in another city. I lived there with her for over a year but I couldn't make it work because I don't have any real skills that I can trade for a decent income. I couldn't work enough to afford to live there while also studying and still be fun to be around. I broke up with her and moved home because I had no future in that city but I would have had a future with her if I didn't fuck around so much when I was younger.

I'm living with my parents again and trying to figure out what I'm alive for. I'm trying to reclaim the parts of my head that she changed. I'm trying to decide which changes are adaptive. I'm trying to look at life and myself in a different way and find something worthwhile.

At least I'm learning to do things that will lead to a career and decent work life balance shortly.

I don't have trouble seducing other girls. I'm good at going through the motions now but I always end up hurting them because they want more than I can give at the moment. I don't like using people but I don't see any way around it right now.

I'm worried that I won't find someone who can make me feel like she did but the process of trying is exciting.

I'm worried that I'm not doing the things I need to change my situation. I don't want to have to give something up because I don't have the means to chase it ever again.
>>
I've been jerking off 3 days in a row now. I usually did it once a week or whenever I felt really horny. It's quite nice actually, I no longer feel like lusting after bitches at my school.
>>
To all the girls that liked me and I didnt ask them out, Im sorry
I only got the courage now, dont take it personally. I was a pussy
>>
It's strange, it's like my feelings are being recycled over and over; the fire needs kindling and the sun is up without you today, at least in my head.
Good for you not leaving her. No one asked you to.
>>
I hope you’re happy.
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I’m unlovable. No one wants an ugly little manlet like me. God I hate myself so goddamn much that I can’t stand even looking at myself in the mirror. I just want to die. There is no point of someone like me to even live
>>
I don't know if I love you anymore
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>>20119885
They didn't like you, anon. I had the same feeling and one time I actually decided to act on it. She wasn't interested after all.
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I honestly hate everyone.
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>>20119952
No you don’t.
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>>20118989

just leave. you don't need all that stuff to be happy but you staying where you are pressured to meet exoecstions for others is unhealthy. if they cant support you doing what you want to be happy then they don't matter. life is better when you live for yourself and not society. I realized a lot of what I wanted to do was because people wanted me to do it. I'm happier now.
>>
In all honesty if you tried to reconnect with me I would tell you that I wabt you in my life as a friend. That we should really get to know each other and start over, not jump into anything. But perhaps you are afraid to hear that which is why youre acting like you are. It's so cowardly.
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>>20120054
Is this a response?
Are you M?
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>>20120029
No, you just don’t like them.
>>
Hey Em.

I saw you again today. I liked talking to you again, I've missed you so much.
My life just isn't the same without you, and I wish I could have you back. It's like you took all the colour out of the world when you went.
God, I miss you so fucking much.
Can't wait to see you again
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>>20120038
Yes, I do. If you don’t agree with me, it’s not for you.
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>>20120087
What about you?
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>>20120054

I don't know. I think we know each other well enough and you seem pretty determined to keep me at arm's length.
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>>20118914
I have an irrational fear of putting my name on the organ donation list because I think it'll be used as a kill list for the rich and powerful one day.
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>>20120153
I'm R
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>>20120168
Oh, don't worry about that. They'd put your name on the list retroactively after they kill you if they wanted you for spare parts badly enough.
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>>20119355
>things you can actually do well
y-yeah
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>>20118914
RESPIND! FUCKING RESPOND ALREADY!

I wanna fuck that big fat ass so badly tomorrow and need to know if we're still good. Last week you were sick. You've never given me any reason to doubt you but of I don't get an answer/get another "lol something came up", then I will have lost the best pussy I have ever had in my life and will all be because of that cunt that I tried to go serious with only for her to "get a gut feeling". No matter what, I'm not doing anything serious for some time and just want to fuck.
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>>20120168
Imagine instead being O negative and being kept alive so they can continually harvest your blood.
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>>20120147
Go fuck yourself.
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If you two actually love me that much maybe we should talk about it over a cup of coffee <3
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>>20119596
you can do better
>>
My head is killing me right now. Its not even a headache kind of pain, its literal stress and tension all around my head. Its been almost 3 weeks. Trouble sleeping, can barely put on a straight face anymore at work. My thoughts have been tearing me apart, and anything i try to do to distract me gets immediately blocked out by these constant thoughts. I really dont have anyone to go to, i dont have anyone for even abit comfort, and i dont have magic pills that drug me out reality or put me to sleep like you do. I live with it all, and i feel so hopeless, and it feels like every bit of effort i've put into anything has never amounted to anything. I constantly have to be considerate and put thought behind everything for everyone, i always have to sit down and listen and be there, but who is even there for me? who is considering me, or whose putting any thought in to me. Nobody ever wants to listen to me or consider how i might feel. I just get blamed for everything as soon as it gets bad, without even a chance to get a word in. When im trying to understand what your thinking and how your feeling, but you never take a minute to think about what im thinking, even when i flat out spell it out. You end up getting heated, and attacking me with so many things, and i still stick with being patient and respectable, balling up everything i want to say because i care about things alot more than you do.
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>>20118914
I fucking hate women who get offended by self-disclosure of successes.
>>
Should I break up ? I don't really know, I wanted to be with you, we get along so well and have so many things in common, but your depression making really hard for me to justify being with you
when I am with you I am happy but when I am not with you I feel like I could you leave you because is a pain in the ass dealing with you
What should I do ? Tell me /adv/
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>>20120533
M or F?
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>>20120553
Male
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>>20120555

Can't wait to see you
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>>20120533
>when I am with you I am happy

I don't see a problem then- except with you
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>>20120426
Sure.
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>>20120562
Yeah that's the shit
I know is something weird, when I am with her i am fine
The hard part for me is that sometimes we can't see each other to often because she is depressed (like at most 5 week at a month) and right now I am stressed as fuck with the uni and she is depressed, I think I am only feeling lonely
>>20120559
What ?
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>>20120135
I hope you fucking rot.
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>>20120574
>like at most 5 week at a month
She is depressed 5 days a month at most *
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When the fuck did everyone become so fickle? People who are supposedly my friends make no effort to ever contact or hang out with me, and all they care about is getting shitfaced. It's even worse with girls. Girls flake on dates left right and center. Even girls who I get really close to will just up and fuck off when they get even the slightest bit of discomfort, as if I'm not even worth the ten second conversation it would take to clear the air. Do I really have to go around assuming the worst in everyone? I don't think I'm unreasonable for expecting common courtesy from others, but I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment if I expect that kind of treatment.
>>
I keep having dreams about making a real connection with the guy I'm in love with. We go out, we do fun things together, he takes interest in the things that I have to say, and then I wake up to reality where he's distant, cold, and probably disinterested. I just feel like he doesn't have the balls to tell me. He says it's because he's bad at emotional intimacy, but I feel like that's a lie to keep me strung along for whatever reason. I have no idea what he could possibly be getting out of this, but it sure as hell isn't me as a person. He made plans to see me this weekend and I want to be excited about it, but part of me feels like he's going to come up with an excuse to flake on me.

All of it hurts, and I hate it. I feel like I'm the only one falling and it fucking sucks.
>>
hey, jojo. i miss you. these past few weeks have been hard, but that’s when i grow the most. i feel proud of myself. i’m calm and centered, and managing to do the right things. therapy’s going well, i’m meeting new people, and i managed to start going to the gym. i even got a fwb thing going on now. i never thought i’d be able to do that! i feel like i’m seeing new perspectives, new ways of being/living which were hidden by my expectations before. i did put you on a pedestal, and im trying to figure out why. it seems like i have these expectations i let others place on me, and then i expect the same out of others, without actually stopping to think what i really want. it’s a massive perspective shift, but it feels good to not really have to depend on anyone. some of the expectations i had from you have simply vanished - they weren’t things i genuinely needed but i just thought was “the right thing”. some other things i realize i wanted but compromised too much - i should’ve made it clear what i needed. hope you’re doing well, hope you’re using this time to grow and not just distracting yourself. i’d love to catch up sometime. i keep seeing things i want to tell you about, but i then remember we’re not really in each others lives anymore and that saddens me a bit. i feel sad, yeah, not gonna lie. but i also feel like ive grown, and am more at peace with myself. i just wish i didnt feel so lonely without you. love you!
>>
I'm only three weeks into a poly relationship with my gf of several years and a guy she goes to uni with - and I'm miserable. She knows how unhappy I am, but she's over the moon that she's somehow managed to wrangle two men. I was cool with him the first week but things are already sour. He's terrible in bed - hogs my gf but I feel too polite to tell him to stop. His breath is always so fucking bad. He constantly talks over me - in fact, it's rare that he EVER stops talking. He keeps us up until 6am after talking all night, without anyone else getting a word in edgewise. I know his life story, and he couldn't tell you my middle name. I feel as if he's trying to put me down all the time. He's about 6'0 and humble-brags about what a 'big guy' he is and how hard it was being 'bearmode' growing up. Just for context, I'm 5'10 and ottermode. What really bothers me about all this is that I've opened up to him about how I struggled with my body image my whole life, yet he'll make comments about my 'thin arms', or how much bigger his legs are. I introduced him to my gym friends yesterday and he told them that I 'probably wasn't fit enough' to be hanging out with them - even though I lift more than him. He goes around telling his friends that my gf has been in love with him for over a year because I told him - being polite - that she thought he was ok-looking even though he had a bad haircut in their first year of uni.

I know my gf likes him and is excited at the prospect of having two guys, but she's being insensitive to my feelings. The other night I told her how I was feeling and that I was struggling to adjust to everything. We all went to bed right after and she sucked him off while I just laid there next to them.

This guy is just getting unbearable and I don't know what to do. Never broken up with anyone before and I don't want to ask my gf to end things because she clearly likes him and has to see him at uni every day so that would complicate things even more.
>>
i'm fucking sick and tired of being around socially inept people, I'm sorry but it's fucking tiring

we've been seeing each other daily for 2 years now and yet you pretend not to see me when walking straight past me on the street? I say hi and you can't even reply? I get it that people get anxious but fucking hell it's been so long and I've made the first move like 20 times. I ask a question in a group and all of you look down and pretend not to hear me, dead fucking quiet? Just say SOMETHING instead of making me feel like I just commited some sort of giant social faux pas by not being a timid dweeb.

this creates such an uncomfortable environment and I have to spend most of my days there. I feel myself getting dumber socially and questioning my own sanity
>>
>>20120623
why are you in a relationship with someone you clearly despise? are you just sharing a girlfriend?
>>
>>20120623
This is something that you definitely need to talk with your girlfriend about. I know that you say that she really likes him, but it's important that you're both happy.
>>
Hey fag, can you break the silence after our fight? I know I overreacted but I miss talking to you a lot these days and I can't allow myself to write you first because I would end up admitting that I'm jealous of the girls you sleep with.
>>
Fuck shitty ass school assignments where I have to interview people

>First group hung up on me
>Second wouldn't return my email
>Third one I finally got someone but it was just a receptionist who was pretty hesitant to answer questions, even the first one

Whatever, fucking good enough.
>>
>>20120563
Good. Because you deserve better.
>>
>>20120580
Most of a relationship is space. Don't act like it's not doing you good too
>>
Dear /adv/,

Stop whining about girls and not getting laid. Get some real problems.
>>
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>>20118914
unblock me u whore
>>
>>20120805
Fucking message him you wet wipe
>>
I've become a fucking laughing stock and there is not a thing I can do.
I should be fucking angry, but I'm not, I just feel helpless.
I know why, all the work I've put in has turned out to be worthless. All that fucking passion turned to absolutely nothing. It's one of those things that hurts so much you can't even feel it anymore.
>>
>>20120934
>unblock me u whore
wow wonder why you're blocked.
>>
>>20120872
Stop being such a bitter faggot.
>>
>>20120934
Let me guess...
"whore" is your code word for "why didn't you fuck me wtf I hate you now?"
>>
>>20119698
good. why does it need more time? why not just send it now?
>>
>>20120496
Well she's going to walk out of my life in December never to be heard from again like every other person I try to attach to in this place.
>>
>>20119144
Have you spoken to the professor?
>>
>>20119217
Don’t lead her on. Tell her that you’d never leave your gf, if you’re so certain. Don’t give her false hope.
>>
>>20121045
Who says I am leading her on? She is just a really hard core flirting succubus. I have turned her down several times, and gave her the reason why. She persists and I can't remove her from my life when she is a coworker and we share the same schedule. She is also genuinely nice, so I really don't want to get legal on her because she is the naive "follow your heart" type. She isn't a bad person, I think at least.
>>
>>20119696
If she wanted to fix things she would have reached out to you by now. It's over anon, it's time to let go and free yourself from this depression.
>>
>>20120576
he lost his wife you faggot, lurk moar and fuck off
>>
>>20120992
>>20121023
shut up whores both of you let me wallow dumbass women operating their morals in the linguistic sphere dumbass half-developed weaklings your both whores it's surer than the swelling of the tide it's recorded in the stars...
>>
>>20121113
Thanks for the laugh, you pathetic sad sack of a man.
>>
>>20120623
poly is a meme. she's cheating on you and you're letting her. respect yourself because she's clearly stopped doing so.
>>
>>20120872
what the fuck are you waiting for then? hasn't this gone on long enough? haven't i suffered enough?
>>
>>20121072
>I broke up, she wanted to end it in a kind and warm way, I dropped atomic bombs on her, which was inappropriate.
>I keep her blocked and I don't message her.
K Y S
Y
S

ignore this faggot op, send the thing
>>
>>20121113
Ahahahha! she made the right choice blocking you, thats for damn sure.
>>
>>20121117
Shut the fuck up stupid ass bitch calling into question the manhood of one superior to you you're not fooling anybody I know what kind of woman you are you're a plain old unthinking unfeeling whore and thats that...
>>
>>20121168
Yeah its so funny haha... dumb bitch leave me alone I dont want to fight two of you at once.
>>
>>20121198
holy fuck. Pathetic. I'd block you, too.
>>
>>20121198
here’s a third: pathetic worm
>>
made bad choices now my life is shit

fuck all of this
>>
I find it interesting how you run away from issues instead of confront them. I guess that's how you cope along with your nightly alcohol so you can pretend you're happy around others.
>>
>>20121214
>>20121217
Pathetic alright... stupid fucking idiots you dont have the brains to understand anything I say let alone cast judgement I don't care what you think. I think its funny when women try an publicly look down on somebody despite being fundamentally impotent... im smarter than u, im stronger than u, I could kick ur ass in any sphere of activity which is why ur clinging to language as it reflects personality cause u cant say anything else dumb whores dont ever step out of line again lol I can own both of you... could take one of u under each of my arms, could go swimming and use you as my fucking floaties lmfao.
>>
>>20120930
Some of us actually do have real problems.
>>
>>20121133
I don’t know you.
>>
>>20121198
AHAHAHAHAHA!
You do it to yourself, your misery is your fault and yours alone. Its only natural when you are this terrible of a person and mean spirited. You aren't above anything, even dirt has more value than you. At this point, I hope you are just trying to bait people because your posts are seriously fucking pathetic. You are garbage, and I hope everyone in your life realizes it and blocks you. No one should associate with you, you should do them a favor and post your garbage posts here to your social media accounts so they know to block you and never look back.
>>
>>20121263
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>20121270
bro shut the fuck up im tired of you dumbasses coming at me with your maniacal laughter and your stupidly overwrought posts about how im a bad person lol the fuck outta here boring ass
>>
>>20120999
Ok.
>>
I'm freaking out, I don't know what to do. I can't change the past and the future is looking bad.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
>>
>>20121287
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
If only you would kill yourself, but you're way too narcissistic to do the world a favor like that.
>>
>>20121263
i’m 6’2 dude though. and nothing you’ve said makes you any less pity inducing. seriously you got nothing better going on?
>>
>>20121269
lucky me
>>
Why can't I get you off my mind? I can't read you at all. You can't read me at all. We need more time together to be able to do that. I get that you're busy. Probaly afraid to let me in as well.
I haven't even known you that long, why does this hurt worse than the harshest it felt when I got cheated on? We've never even been together.
>>
>>20121323
And do you feel better about yourself conducting yourself in a way that's not far different from a narcissist? Are you getting pleasure from beating down this person? How do you know his full story from one line of venting? How do you know he's as bad as you believe him to be?
>>
>>20121323
theres that maniacal laughter again lol dont understand this, fuckin shy ass loser sitting at his desk typing out this boisterous laughter with a straight face lmao cant make this shit up, nigga also told me to kms just goes to show how without restraint he is when hes excited by some internet namecalling lol
>>
My dad is so fucking annoying, good talker at his job yet absolutely cannot have a normal conversation with his own fucking family. Just his presence alone is depressing.
Kill me if I end up like him.
>>
>>20118914
can't get my mind off a girl i fingered back in hs. she was beautiful and i made a dumb decision to make her mad. we weren't even dating.
>>
>>20121063

Fuck you and your wife I'm just tired of having you in my head and being blatantly sexual actually helped me get over it knowing you're too "moral" or "righteous" or some shit to actually do anything beyond flirting. So, yeah, leading me on is a good way of putting it. Fuck you.
>>
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>>20120619
holy shit if you want to fuck me then do it christ : I
>>
>>20120934
u larper haha
>>
I like my job but I wish my supervisor stopped sending me work-related emails at 11 PM, I'm a workaholic and can't relax when there's something to do, even though the deadline is in two weeks and the task will take two hours at max.
>>
>>20121633
lol crazy bitch
I don't know you.
>>
i’ve got a math 98 test tomorrow and i’m scared. this is the second time i’ve taken the class and i understand it well enough, but i’m anxious anyways.
i’m realy frusturated with my education and i’m terrified that no major is going to ‘click’ for me.
>>
>be 22 yo virgin
>say fuck it im like a 7/10
>get tinder
>hit it off with QT
>3 weeks and 2 dates later she comes to my (parents) house to show me ”how to bake brownies”
>we watch the purge election year then get to fucking
>turns out i have erectile dysfunction from beating my meat to orc rape hentai on the daily for the last few years
>>
R, please talk to me soon. I miss our conversations. I miss you.
>>
>>20118914
Im with a girl that wholeheartly adores me. Shes does everything sexually i desire. Wenn share the same interests and she gets along well with my friends. We have plans for holiday ober New Years.
But everytime she opens her mouth i want her to shut up. Shes selfloathing and doesnt know shit about me despite faking interest all the time. I guess shes just with me for my looks and for reputation amongst her friends and family. She always tells me she loves me and how beautiful I am. I want this to end imediately and string along. This is my first relationship that lasted longer than 3-4 weeks with us now being together for almost 4 month. I cant barely breathe, I need my Freedom. Also she annoys me all day long. How do i End it? Im 23 shes 21 her last relationship was 3 and a half years with 0 Orgasm and sex once a month. Now we fuck like rabbits
>>
>>20121754
sure it wasnt just stage fright?
>>
I hate the way people treat me because I'm quiet. I'm anxious, not stupid.
>>
I feel like I fucking suck at everything. I'm slow and stupid and I can't do my job well. I want to be better but no matter how late I stay or how hard I try, I just seem to fuck everything up.
>>
>>20121783
dont you fucking play me like this you sack of shit
you said not to contact you.
>>
No matter how awkward it is for me, how you play with my feelings for months, I can never truly hate you, A.
>>
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I'm the worst andI want to die
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>>20121113
Why’d you get blocked?

I’m not jumping on the bandwagon. I think you should be able to post without being ganged up on.
>>
I hope you’re doing okay.
>>
Think I'm developing a bit of a crush on an old friend of my brother's. I'd sort of known her for years, not massively well but we did know each other. I ran into her on a night out a few weeks ago and we hugged and were chatting for a bit. She was asking me about my Master's and that.

I don't want to catch too many feelings because it would be so awkward given how she's a friend of my brothers, and a lot of their shared friends are chad/normie/stoner types whereas I've always been a bit of an autist. Plus I think she may have a boyfriend anyway.
>>
wish this job prospect would actually get back to me after giving me a job offer, but it seems like they're reconsidering their decision (no paperwork signed or anything so they can do that). Kinda feels like people are even scared to disclose the most pertinent of information in fear of hurting peoples feelings, its quite odd.

im really tired of this wagecuck bullshit.
>>
Test
>>
I need someone to like me. i am so fucking lonely its getting worse and worse each day. been starting to get suicidal thoughts. people only talk to me when they need something, everyone treats me like shit,
>>
>>20122147
Leave while you still can.
>>
My old employer that fired me when I was a few weeks from giving birth died today and I'm not at all sad. I would have been, had he not turned into Satan personified. Funny thing is I work in the store right next to his and he'd always do double takes at me once I lost the baby weight. Ha. How short life is. Rest in peace anyway dude
>>
Why do you still talk to me? its been 2 years and yet you say that you miss me. I just dont understand you. why do you mess with me like this.
>>
>>20122042
I hope you're doing ok too.
>>
>>20122042
I'm not.
>>
>>20121835
Same
>>
>>20121864
I don't think your him
>>
I've lived my whole life in a state that mandates employers must allow employees a break on their work shift. I just today discovered that this is the exception and not the rule. I can't believe there are people out there in the U.S. in 2018 who have to work 8 hour shifts with no break.
>>
>>20118914
I captured all of your imaginations while doing absolutely nothing in my room.

SEE WHAT I CAN DO WHEN I GO OUTSIDE

(it'll be a fucking trainwreck)
>>
>>20122147
Happy 18th birthday!
>>
i hate having shit social skills. either i get scared to message someone back and ghost them, or they ghost me when i actually try to reach out to them. (to clarify i'm talking about making friends online)
>>
can I please fucking go already? I am so incredibly fucking bored.

how much more?
>>
Being awake has become unbearable again. I'm a loser for doing nothing but sleeping all day when I get home but sleep is like a free trial of death and you bet your ass I'm gonna cash that shit in as much as I possibly can. I have nothing and no one to live for but if I just work and sleep I don't have to think about it for a while.
>>
I wish I could explain it with actual proof but I think I really feel that God exists and wants us to find a way to enjoy life without worrying
>which God?
I found Him through Catholicism
>>
Thank you for being my rock during these troubled times. I believe that we'd be together if the circumstances were different, but I'm happy with the way things are right now. I hope to one day pay you back for everything you've done for me, although I doubt that I'll be able to. You are the definition of what a friend should be, and I'm blessed to have even met you.

Thank you.
>>
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>>20122455
>>
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>>20122471
You put into words what I should tell my friend as well, and exactly how I feel about her. Though I'm kind of worried she'd be a bit uncomfortable if I told her how important she is to me.
>>
I feel like I’ve finally made it but now I have no friends to celebrate with. I had to distance myself from everyone and offended them by not following or listening to their bad advice and now they’re bitter. Nobody wanted to follow me so I had to go alone.
>>
>>20122200
I'm R.
Is this M?
>>
>>20118914

I want to quit my job despite having nothing else lined up and only $1,000 in savings and a shitton of student debt

Is this a depression thing or a normal thing idk I just really want to take off and pretend like doing the same shit in a different town will fix everything.
>>
>>20122487
Sounds like you did the right thing and it's okay to be alone sometimes, it's how we learn more about ourselves. Good luck finding new friends, I'm sure you will
>>
>>20122495
Grass is greener syndrome
>>
>>20122495
No clue, I feel the same but have depression I think (I was never diagnosed though). But I think it's normal to want to quit your job. Did you already take some weeks or days off recently? I'm currently in my week off and it really changed my perspective. My coworker friends sent me some funny picture of the place where I sit in the office and it made me feel a little teeny tiny bit like wanting to go back to work soon. Last week when I was still at work I was extremely stressed out and tired wanted to get the fuck out asap, and I've been thinking about quitting very often.
If you can take some days or weeks off soon, look forward to that. But if you've already been in that job for long and vacations didn't work then it may be time to look for a new one. The good thing is that you can look for another job without having to quit this one yet so you should do that, imo. Look for a new job but stay relaxed knowing that you already have a job. I know this doesn't excuse the fact that your job sucks but it's good that you do have a job. Because the longer you stay in it, the more it counts as job experience.
>>
>>20122379
Online friends are not true friends 99.8% of the time. It's wasted effort.
>>
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>>20118914
Put too much celery seed in the stew. Forgot how strong it was since I haven't used it years.
Not making that mistake again!
Bleck. Hope this leftover poutine gravy can help mitigate that. If not, then at least the other person here will find the stew even more delicious because they can't taste the celery.for some reason.
Lucky, lucky them!
>>
>>20122525
>>20122379


I've made really close friends online but they're my mmo guild and I've been talking to them every day for months. Even met a couple of them irl already and shit was pretty cash.
>>
I fucking hit that helicopter. I fucking nailed it and I didn't even get a hit marker. The round even exploded.

fuck this gay fucking earth.
>>
>>20122547
If you've met them in real life then they're no longer online friends.
>>
>>20122471
well tell them
>>
>>20122534
Holy fuck, it worked! Now I'm the lucky one. Now I have something palatable to look forward to without having to cook something else.
>>
Found out I passed my drug test and got the job. But employees do get randomly drug tested. Is it stupid to smoke a bowl and celebrate tonight? I figure there's almost no way I'll get tested again within two weeks, right? And it would only be the one bowl. But I haven't smoked in so long, and I have nothing to do tonight, and I don't wanna get drunk again.
>>
I always randomly get a vivid image of putting a gun to my palm and blowing a hole through it
>>
>>20122571
Nigga I was on like round 60 of zombies playing Kino with my brother today and my sister walked in front of the screen and we both died.
I feel your pain my dude.
>>
>>20122664
Do not do that.
You would not feel good.
>>
>>20122674
it so would tho I feel good thinking of it?
>>
okease
>>
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I feel like shit always. Eat reasonably balanced diet. Gym ~5 hours a week. Avoid excessive masturbation. Avoid alcohol. Avoid drugs. No fast food. No soda. Stay hydrated.

I still feel physically awful all day. Teeth hurt, muscles hurt, eyes hurt, throat hurts, joints hurt, head hurts. Bloodwork always comes back healthy.

I have no friends
>>
>>20122679
Maybe you got issues.
>>
It's not the cheating that crushes me and causes me to go crazy

It's the lying, it's the following months of pushing and pulling and just fucking with me that causes me to be an emotional wreck. Seriously, it's extremely fucked up.
>>
>>20122704
Maybe it's anxiety. Really. Anxiety or depression can manifest as pain
>>
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>>20122713
You're almost certainly right, but I refuse to accept it anyway. I already went through the fucking ringer trying to get my mental illnesses in check, but since all that failed I decided to get my physical health in better shape. I can't fix stupid fucking brain diseases with those jew pills that kept my dick from working. There has to be a better way
>>
>>20122709

AAHHH. I feel you anon/ette.
>>
>>20122737
Acetyl l carnitine works for me.
>>
>>20122709
I get this completely. Like if someone cheats on me, and they tell me, and they at least seem to be sorry about it then I can forgive it. It hurts, but it's not the end of the world. Maybe there was a conversation that needed to be had, or some other problem in the relationship that I just wasn't noticing. But if the cheating involves or turns into some kind of series of lies, or emotional disregard/manipulation, I can't take it. Then I don't know where we stand, how the other person really feels, whether or not I matter to them. And I don't want those kind of uncertainties in my life.
>>
>>20122485
If you worded it carefully it would probably be amazing for your friend to hear that.
>>
>>20122741
Interesting. Thank you. Will look into it
>>
>>20122208
American businesses care so little for it’s workers. Seems counterproductive to me and evil.
>>
>>20122162
I’m sorry. Are you still in school? Old friends treat you this way?
>>
Even though women show little interest in me, I worry once I start making the big bucks, I'll be targeted by gold diggers. I'm too socially retarded to even watch out for myself
>>
Every word that comes out of my mouth turns the people in my life further against me. I was feeling so good the last couple of days. I really thought things might change. But no I'm still the same old cancer.
>>
>>20122843
cont. All I want is someone I can open up to, I want to be able to tell someone what's wrong without being judged or hated. But it's impossible, I'll never have that, those people don't exist.
>>
>>20122843

ok keith
>>
>>20122849
They do. They just have the same problems and internalize everything because they don't think there are others like that either.
>>
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>>20122843
>>20122849

You make me think of that person I just excommunicated from my life for being an obnoxiously lonely twat. You just remind me, I'm sure you're no twat nor obnoxious like them. I do hope that's what the feel right now though,
Anyway, you will always be judged, be it overly or discreetly; however, the not being hated is achievable.
Unless you're an obnoxious twat and/or hold unfavourable opinions that you can't keep to yourself.
Still, a true friend is achievable. When will you find it? Lord knows. Could be now or never. Hell, my mothers greatest friend in life died a week after they met - things are so random. But keep an eye out and continue to express yourself and maybe you'll find someone with the same grove as you, ya? Further, let the rejection you have hone your opinions into a sharp point - That sage advice is from Ray Bradbury, not mine. But go along those lines, and refine your methods of interaction in a similar way.
>>
What really opened my eyes to how bad this place was for us was when I found you directing your larps at other people's post and painting me into a person I am not. Its really unhealthy, dishonest and honestly hurtful. I was doing it too, but I never assumed the nasty ones were you.
>>
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I'm scared I'm going to forget this girls face I recently met the next time I come back to my classes, I'm afraid that I'm going to mistake someone else for her.

this is the first time this has happened honestly, I think I'm more prone to forgetting names, which is why I drilled her name into my mind, problem kinda is that she sits with a lot of girls who look pretty similar to her so fuck.

I still want to try for her and sit with her friend group, see where this takes me, I mean if I only introduce myself once and never sit or interact with her again then whats the point.

I really hope I can remember her face.
>>
>>20121735

You don't, he doesn't, no one does. It's fine. I've always preferred being alone.
>>
>>20122987

like you were never nasty to someone thru a larp or post
>>
>>20123008
I really wasn't, because I am not a nasty person.
>>
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>>20122987
I agree with your sentiment but I don't understand the context entirely.
It sounds pretty stressful and sad to find that out though. Especially when you said you were doing it too, but in a less mean way.
whatever the context, I appreciate that you saw the negative influence it was having on you. Hope you can change to to be a better you, anon.
>>
>>20123008
Not them but.. As if that justifies being a nasty piece of shit to anyone. A lot of people do this I feel to feel better, even if its just for a moment. To have some sort of "victory". I assume its because they are used to having rude shit said to them all the time, but all these people accomplish is more bitterness. Like a vicious reincarnation of ugly again and again instead of breaking the cycle they perpetuate it. The best thing for people to do is to simply stop being so fucking ugly to other people. It seems impossible, but if the world was able to do this it would be a better place. I am not saying to cancel all legit criticisms, but rather lets try to construct and build up each other rather than tear them down and apart.
>>
>>20122754
>Seems counterproductive to me and evil.
My thoughts as well, to me it seems to accomplish nothing but overworking your staff. In my state, employees are required by law to take at minimum at 30 minute break prior to their 6th hour of work. That's a bare minimum according to state law. Most states don't have any break requirement at all.

It boggles my mind, honestly, because to me dealing with breaks is just part of daily operations and one of the most basic functions of managing employees. It makes me wonder what kind of employer would not offer breaks.
>>
>>20122987
How do you know for sure that it was them?
>>
>>20122611
This.
>>
Hurts to see you go, everytime.
>>
>>20123059
Lets just say this one goes out to all the larpers, not just mine. ;)
>>
>>20123004
I used to say the same thing, now that I've been alone for several years straight I know that I would rather have companionship again.
>>
>>20123012

uh huh. no one on 4chan is pure.
>>
I can’t sleep without terrifying images or scenarios popping into my head. Nobody wants to hear that though. Nobody wants me around. I’m so lonely and afraid. I feel like a child again, nightmares and all.
>>
>>20123154
Stranger things have happened and there is always an exception to the rule.
>>
I'm going to have a more positive inner dialogue. I can do this shit, I don't care what anyone else thinks.
>>
>>20123175
On the next sunny day find an area in nature where other people are not around. Bring a comfortable folding chair with you or something to sit or lay on. Then just sit amongst nature and let your mind talk itself out until it's silent. You must not try to let your mind talk itself out, it will do it on its own. Once your mind has achieved the quiet state it will just be you, the real you, and the outside world. Slowly you will start to get the feeling that you're in it and it's in you. What happens after that is for you to discover but I will say that discovery will help with your fears.
>>
>>20122471
I bet they'd want to hear this. Especially if they have feelings for you
>>
in a constant state of panic
>>
I've been a shut in for almost 7 years now
stopped talking to my friends 4 years in because I felt like i didn't deserve them and they'd be better off with a friend that wouldn't flake on them constantly or make excuses
>>
Everybody is moving forward in life and I'm just fucking stuck. I feel empty and get no enjoyment out of things besides shitposting. Every time I try picking up hobbies they just don't stick. I made a goal to try and give myself direction even though I probably won't be able to attain it.
>>
>>20123229
What are you panicking about?
>>
I can't quit this shit. I've been at it for over a third of my life now. I can hear the final grains of sand hitting the bottom of the hour glass. I hated my dad for years. I wanted him to die every single day for the first twenty-five or thirty years of my life, but now I get it. We're all just cursed to live in this shit. I'd rather just die now than let all of the shit pile up for the next thirty years. I just want this shit to stop.This is hell and I can't see an end to it and that's what makes it an actual nightmare.
>>
>>20122853
Shut up you knob goblin.
>>
>>20123241

I'm going to die relatively young and I am 100% okay with it. This life really is just a race to the bottom of the biggest shithole. I'm okay with dying within the next few years. I was never meant for this world and to have been able to taste the little bits of beauty that I have truly makes me feel like I've lived a dream. I just don't even understand anymore, and maybe that's for the better. Perhaps this is the way it was supposed to go. This is just too much for me. I can't understand any of it.
>>
I feel really tired, mentally and physically. I feel like just giving up. But I’m not. It’s not that I have any energy or much hope left in me, and I feel like I’ve messed up on every turn, but I’ll continue on. I don’t think she is out there, I don’t think I’ll reach my goals, but I’ll keep moving forward... Even if I don’t achieve anything, and everyone eventually leaves, at least I will still make it to the end of the race...
>>
Were we ever even friends? I have no idea what you think of me. I hope it's the worst, because that would make me seem a lot less weak than I feel.

Need, need, need. A need is intrinsic. I have no need of you. You have no need of me. There is a before and after. But it all keeps blurring together. No, this is not love or need. Do you actually believe in such a thing as fate, or souls? I wish I could. I wish I hadn't seen, been part of, things that convince me no such convenient happy plan exists for this world. These horrors.

I want to fade away.
>>
>>20123321
What happened?
>>
>>20123229
like panic attacks?
is your heart rate and bp high?
>>
Last month, my wife had a miscarriage.

I don't know what to do anymore. Its killing me knowing everything she has had to go through with; The cramping and loss, the d+c and days and days of bleeding afterward. The wacky hormones screaming at her that she's still pregnant even though we know she isn't anymore. The nosey old ladies that we kinda sorta know repeatedly insisting that I should hurry up and put a baby in her and, if they find out about the miscarriage, handwaving it away saying 'oh it happens, just make another soon'. The repeated doctors appointments to make sure they didn't fuck up her insides too badly during surgery.

I wish I could just lay in bed all day with her for a while and stay away from everything and everyone while she gets better, but I gotta put on a brave face and keep going to work to pay the bills and slowly put back together the normalcy that was in our life. Yes, I know I look tired. No, I don't want to talk about my plans for the weekend. I want to sit alone with some whisky and cry big fucking ugly tears for the child I'm not going to have. What if this was our only chance at having a baby? The closest we ever get?

If we do get another chance, I swear I'll do everything I can to make sure it becomes a happy, healthy baby. I know she'd be a great mother, and I hope that I can be even half as good a dad.
>>
>>20122704
Youre sad
It causes inflammation all over
You need hugs
>>
>>20123360
When? Because a lot has happened.
>>
>>20119743
I often ask her to spend time with me, and she almost always agrees. It's more of the 'is this going to be a real relationship or just a casual dating thing for a few months'. Every time we go out however, we are talking about the next place we'll eat at, thing we'll do, etc. I just can't get a read on it all.
>>
>>20118914
Was really confused about my sexuality. I decided to try sucking dick from some guy I met online, I instantly regretted the whole thing and feel like I can't live with the regret.
>>
>>20123535
You sucked a dick, so what. Means nothing.
>>
Why am I an idiot? She always trips over herself to make sure I have it easy. Never, ever lets me pay for my own lunch unless I'm quicker getting my wallet out than she is. Then she gets all sooky. I love it. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'yeah, I think she really likes me!' And I think she does! But somehow not in the same way I like her. I dunno. I mean I'm the only one she's got. If I leave, and move away, she's gonna be screwed for a long while. No one else is as stupid as me. They're gonna actually have a life outside of work. They won't be falling head over heels for this woman. They're gonna want to find a better job immediately. They'll hate the labour, and the hours. If I leave, she can't pay her bills, can't look after her kid. Her insane, meddling family will drive the final nails into the coffin. I can't leave knowing that. I really want to, but I can't.

Ah man, this was just supposed to be a job to get me through 2017. Then I would've been back in Brisbane with all my friends. But despite everything, I don't know if I'll ever meet someone like her again. I don't get it. Our interests aren't terribly different, but not very similar either. She's like 15 years older than me. But we can talk forever and ever and ever about nothing, bitch about people we don't like, laugh at really shitty things to no end. She likes to make me smile, I like to make her smile. Man, even when I'm miserable, she somehow manages. Not always straight-up, to be fair, but she usually succeeds.

Oh man, I dunno. I dunno. I want to leave this place, but I don't want to leave her. Fucking fuck.
>>
Why does tounge kissing feel so fucking good?
>>
6 years of love gone because you got comfortable and thought it ment the relationship was Stagnant.
I felt different because my aunt contracted cancer the month the "problem" started, and you tried to bring up your own problems when she died
I thought you were the one. Every moment was amazing.
I wish life just ended that happy day we slept at J's house, that would have been a happy ending
Fuck you for choosing your friends and someone you just met over me.
Fuck you Sophia
-LR
>>
How is it just platonic when you act romantic about it too? Are you scared of getting hurt again? I would listen if you would just tell me.
>>
>>20122511
Not the guy you replied to, but I'm appreciating your advice nonetheless. Travelling interstate for a holiday in january and hoping it'll stave off the thoughts of wanting to quit my job for a while. Because it's been getting quite bad lately... but really I could be doing much worse.
>>
>>20122489
No this is another R.
>>
If everyone ignores me again today and no one even attempts to talk to me im offing myself, i can't do this anymore.
>>
I often troll /fit/ when work is slow and I love every moment of it. They're legitimately like brain dead animals, and seeing their faces confirms how ugly and deluded they are.
>>
She will never understand what she means to me.
>>
>>20123619
Then I hope your R gets the message.
Good luck.
>>
>>20123672
Thanks
>>
I wish you didn't give birth to my last 2 siblings.
>>
>>20123472
That's fucking gay, bro
>>
"Hello Exboss
This is Anon, I've just applied for a position under your employment.

I've been thinking long and hard on how to approach this application, I am still very much interested in working for you in this role.

I am not dillusional, I know there is a pink elephant in the room when it comes to my application for this position: Mainly the unorthodox and unprofessional way I ended my employment with you the last time I was there, but I don't think we ever discussed what happened and how it came to be that way...
So I am writing to you today to face "the pink elephant" and hope that at some point you can consider it as a product of the situation I was in at the time instead of an obstacle for giving me another shot at it, forever.

So, the basically, after 2.5 years under your employment I really think that it was my turn to get the full-time position, I had at that time invested so much time, energy and even money into getting that contract from you.
From my perspective, the recruitment process of filling up the squad after Anon quit was basically: 2 new gust just suddenly came to work one day, I was never notified that a recruitment process was under way, I was never asked about my interest in the position or even taken aside for a "I'm sorry but..-discussion" about it and it wounded me deeply, after all that time, energy and money, after I had been so open with my intentions of staying under your employment despite the lack of getting the full-time contract from the beginning, it is the least I deserved I think.. I know that one of those spots were justifiably mine but instead I was completely overlooked again and I didn't know what to do about it, after telling myself over and over to be patient with it it really screwed me up to be overlooked when the position was finally open.

Cont:
>>
>>20124008
Part 2:
So going back to being patient, spend more time, energy and money on something I had worked so hard for and then have placed so far away again?
I decided to fight it, in hindsight, probobly not in the most professional of ways but what is done is now done and I can't change what happened unfortunately, but I can apologize for any problems my unprofessionalism may have caused during the last few weeks of my employment with you.

Thus should this message be considered both an explanation and an apology for my actions as your employee.

Hope to hear from you!
Anon "

I sent this Email to my ex boss, my dream job is at stake, I sort had it before but under a different type of contract then what I wanted, I was barely payed for 2.5 years at that company and I was continuously going through it with a" Patience - mindset, I'll get my chance at it, I've proven myself here, it's all about waiting for the opportunity to get the contract: Spot opens>was overlooked>got pissed!

Opinions?
>>
Can you prevent a person from npc-ing out of your life?
>>
>>20124028
It was actually well written, to be realistic if you feel your work is not being properly addressed/ compensated then fucking move on.
I stopped getting paid for 3 months in my last job, ran out of money, and I was investing my own money to travel there every day, because 'after one year we will give you actions/part of the company.'

Said, fuck this shit, and now im in a company that actually pays me good / appreciates my help

>>20124071
'people don't act out of others desire, only from theirs'
in other words, if you don't have anything they would care for, (friendship, support, etc) don't expect them to keep by your side.
>>
>>20123378

/hug
>>
>>20124079
I very much desire to offer them friendship. It was one of those accidentally saving my life situations. They just play it off like it's nothing, and we talk like normal, but I can feel that they're going to walk out of my life soon. I just want to thank them and keep making them smile.
>>
>>20123378
//hug
>>20124115
again, dont force it, some people get in your life to leave, invite them for lunch or something ' to say thank you ', if they dont find anything to continue with you for , just keep on moving.
>>
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fucking

let me go already holy shit. Seriously.

If you gave me a gun right now I would blow my fucking brains out without hesitation. Fucking seriously. Fucking kill me.
>>
>>20124156
Why anon?
>>
>>20123321
Wish I couldn’t relate.
>>
>>20123620
Forget those people... you’re probably better than them. You have to make the effort to speak to them, though.
>>
Depression is back ofc... too soon this time. I don’t have the strength to keep going through this.
>>
I am either going to die from a heart attack, put butter and salt in everythingggg or liver failure or cancer or fucking something just let me fucking die already.

I have nothing to do but eat, so yeah./
>>
I'm probably the smartest person in my country and I can't wait to get out of this shithole after I get my contract.
>>
>>20124222
which country?
i was from argentina and my talents werent usefull there
>>
The most beautiful girl ive ever met likes me but im too much of an awkward faggot to engage in a conversation
>>
>>20124234
write her a note
>>
>>20124234
Usually the fear of rejection is what stops someone from engaging in conversation. If you know she likes you, then what is it that is stopping you?
>>
how do i start to hate somebody?
>>
>>20124245
well, im kinda an awkward faggot who cant talk to people first. I only have this problem with girls and guys more popular than me.
>>
>>20124236
Kind of wierd thing to do in this day and age no?
>>
>>20124253
if they hurt you, you already have a reason to do so, but why do you need to hate someone?
>>
>>20124281
not if you dont have her number
>>
>>20124281
it migth even be romantic in some way
>>
>>20124282
because I care about her too much, and im losing tons of time to trying to be there for her when she doesn't even rely on me.
>>
>>20124277
I can understand that. I'm the same way. I'll even stay silent to my own detriment sometimes because in my mind it's not as bad as talking.
>>
>>20118914
I wish I didn't have to have no empathy for everyone and everything i'm supposed to love like my family and friends
>>
>>20124287
just sort out your priorities. why waste your time on someone who doesn’t care about you? find better things to do, focus on bettering yourself.
>>
>>20124253
easy, do something incredibly stupid that is guaranteed to hurt yourself incredibly badly and then find someone randomly to blame it all on.

because that's what people do for some fucking reason.

"Gee! I cheated on my partner and got an incurable STD. THIS IS SOMEONE ELSES FAULT!"

"Gee! I sexually harassed a girl, got her fired, and then it all came back to bite me in the ass. THIS IS SOMEONE ELSES DOING!"

"Gee! I hacked into someone's computers and planted pedo porn on their HDD but the FBI caught me doing and now I'm guilty of possessing 30gigs of fucking child porn. THIS IS SOMEONE ELSES DOING!"

See, it's not that hard. Dumb fucks do it allllllllll the time.
>>
>>20124308
sounds like something happened to you.
wanna talk about it?
>>
hey so you were right. you are worthless and i was just suffering from lack of experience. shoulda listened to you. thanks for the freedom!
>>
>>20124317
what happened?
>>
Seriously let's fucking gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I am so fucking bored. Why do I have to be completely in the dark? Why does that make sense? If it's like "You're in danger!" then why the FUCK DOES THAT REQUIRE ME TO NOT KNOW I'M IN DANGER. DOESNT IT MAKE MORE SENSE TO LET THE PERSON KNOW WHAT IS TRYING TO FUCKING KILL THEM?

None of it makes fucking sense. All I can think is that if this is some kind of show, you are waiting for the current show to reach it's end so that we can all experience the ending LIVE! ON TV! AS IT'S HAPPENING! WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN HE LEARNS THE TRUTH! EXPERIENCE THE CONFUSION LIVE! ON TV!

So you can't tell me anything because that would "spoil" it.

Alternate, you fuckers put me here because... I didn't play nice with everyone? And this is like a prison sentence without having to go to an actual prison?

BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TRIAL? WHERE IS MY JUSTICE? WHY THE TORTURE? WHY THE ISOLATION? I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING.

Can't you give me a fucking friend? We have an extra room here. She can sleep there. And then we can go out and walk to the park and I would have someone to share all the crazy shit that's happening to me. Why is that such a horrible fucking idea? Why can't that happen? Even if just a friend or something. Snugs maybe. I want snugs but still. Is it because everyone else would be incredibly jealous? Or something? Just fucking anything.

You're killing me here. I have lost all hope in people. I will never trust anyone ever fucking again and the longer this goes on the less likely I want to fucking be with anyone. It all sounds incredibly exhausting. And I know they will just get bored and leave as soon as they get their money so what's the fucking point.

You already broke the last hope I had, being a pretty lady. That was like... the last thing I could have held out for. Something to live for. And I know it's all bullshit now.

So just give me a fucking gun and let me die.
>>
>>20124317
lmao thats an excuse people use to dump you so you dont feel bad
>>
>>20124331
this sounds like you need somebody to actually talk to.
got discord?
>>
>>20124338
does that matter if i agree?
>>
>>20124344
Whatever works for you i guess..
>>
>>20124344
if thats what you decided to tell yourself then who can stop you but 9/10 times the person found you unbearable and wanted to weasel out without making you feel like the worthless one
>>
>>20124297
I think I honestly have a problem, and I need help, with how much I like her.
I'm gonna see a therapist
>>
>>20122704
Have you been tested for lyme disease, malaria, bartonella or babesia?
>>
>>20124352
yes of course that’s true, obviously. however that’s not mutually exclusive with me feeling immense relief and freedom after the fact. it helps to be having more sex in the last two months than in the whole year and a half of relationship, and realizing that many of my feelings for him disappeared as I experienced new - better - things.
>>
>>20124371
I was tested for lyme disease a few years ago and still get mocked by family about it today. Rather not add more ammunition
>>
Just posting to say I hope you all have a great day.
>>
>>20124411
Lyme disease tests come back as false negatives more often than not. The blood test is notoriously inaccurate. You have symptoms of a systemic condition which requires treatment and proper diagnosis. I don't know what the exact issue is but for it to be so widespread it has to be something severe. If your family is mocking you for trying to figure out what's physically wrong with you then they lack empathy and should be ignored. Your survival and well-being take precedence.

If you're afraid of going back to the doctor to get a proper diagnosis then I would recommend that you take Andrographis, a powerful herb that's effective against bacterial infections as well as several other types of viral and inflammatory conditions. You should also take an anthelmintic medication to rule out parasites just to be safe. Mebendazole, which can be bought without a prescription from New Zealand, works well for this and it's non-toxic.

For preventative treatment you should regularly supplement with N Acetyl Cysteine to boost intracellular glutathoine which will protect your cells from damage due to inflammatory conditions which you're experiencing.
>>
>>20124457
I forgot to mention that you should check for any interactions with any medications that you're currently taking before trying this regimen. All of these supplements are non-toxic but there could be possible interactions with some prescription medications that will weaken their efficacy.
>>
I despise weakness in myself. But not as much as I despise those who take advantage of it.

I may have been deposed, but I am still Queen. My willfulness is my birthright, my generosity is my breeding. I counterbalance my privilege with kindness and modesty. I toil among my people as if I am one of them, but my essence will always sit upon a throne.

I have been forced to walk this earth with my head bowed low, but I will not be broken.

You have bent me down and bent me over, you have used me like the lowest kind of whore —- but you have not broken me.
>>
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I just want to feel happiness and enjoy things again... I feel nothing but pain and loneliness... I want it to go away...
>>
>>20124485
This world takes its pound of flesh out of everyone eventually, it's equally indifferent to us all and in that way it's fair.

I like your fire, I can sense it in the way you type, not many people have that quality. Keep fighting anon.
>>
>>20118914
I woke up after a dream of companionship with her and a blissful existence and almost immediately cried.
I wasnt always like this. Ive only met her once weeks ago and feel like a pathetic cunt for having these feelings. Ive just had such a lack of attatchment with anyone. Opposite sex or none. Time goes on and I turn more from the social person I used to be into more of an awkward cunt who finds it harder and harder to meet anyone.
>>
>>20124626
you're allowing your past to influence your future, like I was doing, and am currently fighting with myself to keep from doing.

remember, every day is a new fight to be won, and approach it as an accomplishment when you do win.
>>
>>20123251

<3
>>
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I decided to buy my mother (well...buy US) some bloody marry fixings for her birthday a few weeks back. Something clicks in me during the rare occasions I get drunk, like there are these absolutely great things about myself that I'm shy about until I have my anxieties ebbed to the back by brute, poisonous force.
I was wasted pretty fast, but not to the point where I lost my dexterity. I scrambled onto the top of the house, onto this shitty little lean-to of an add-on that one of her exes slapped onto it. I splayed out right there and thought about everything that's happened to me in the past year. My first job, a maddening heartache, a personal awakening that should have happened years ago. I thought about her, how innocent she was, how badly I wanted to just grab the little mouse and ride off before her lackwit, trustfund boy noticed.

I didn't feel like a little rotten pervert, born into a rotten, pervert society, for a change. I didn't feel inferior or less manly. There were books where I read about men going into the wilderness and establishing themselves as the local masters of the food chain. Lone exiles, standing in the snow, screaming to God and anyone that can hear how grateful they are to be alive.

I felt that there, looking up at the sky, and "I love you," was the only thing I could think before I took a nap on the roof. That feeling hasn't left me since.
>>
>>20123687
To whom from whom?
>>
>>20124079
Yeh unfortunately it's more complicated then that, I wanted to do that job since I was.. Very young, maybe 10-12 or so..
I went to school specifically for having the right skills for that job and I got it!
I worked there for 2.5 years and I loved doing it.. But I had to sacrifice a lot to do it.

I'm not doing anything else, worst case scenario I will move to somewhere where I can do that anyway (this is basically the only company that does this specific thing in my country) but I am not done trying to get it here yet (I have allready moved here for it in the first place, I'm from the other side of the country)
>>
>>20124296
Why is it that way, Anon?
>>
>>20124903
>>
So I had been living in a state of ignorance. The last 10 years of my life, I was in a dream-like state where I wouldn't make any personal connections with people, ever since I haven't been able to hang out with my nerd friends from highschool.
4 weeks ago a girl in college reached out and touched my arm and I woke up, and realized how much I missed physical contact with other humans.
I have no friends here, every person I used to try to make friends with killed themselves.

How do I start over? I already made girl who reached out think i'm crazy because I tried to explain this. She still talks to me like normal at school but I think she blocked me on her phone.
>>
>>20124485
I love this.
>>
Anyone here know the best way to get someone off of heroin that isn't an inpatient program or jail time?

Cause I'm about to call the police on my 2 heroine junkie siblings because I don't know what else to do.
>>
>3.9 GPA
>Aced tons of difficult classes
>struggling to pass Intro to Chemistry
FUCK
>>
is it reasonable to truly want to be alone/isolated/reject intimate relationships because that’s who I am, or is it more likely to be issues to be worked on (such as anxiety/depression)? should i give up or be better?





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