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I'm out of words to say.

So yeah, vent it all out.
>>
I wanna kill myself for u babe
If it makes u happy
H
>>
I don't know whether I'll be able to move on, but in time I'm sure I will meet other women that I fancy, and it certainly won't take much for some new muse in my life to outdo your uselessness.
>>
My dad is going to die soon, he should have died (and has) when I was younger but it'll happen in a span from 2-4 years now

My Mom is developing schizophrenia if she doesn't have it already

A current therapist of mine wants me to get tested for schizophrenia

I will create proper closure and take it for myself if it is not given to me
>>
I dunno. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I feel so weird and alone. Maybe if I had one person I could relate to it would all be okay.
>>
I fucked up big time a few years ago. I know for a fact you lurk here. Hit me up already. It's been so long, we both have so much to gain from catching up and seeing how eachother have grown up
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Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
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It doesn't matter to me anymore what you say or do, you've already hurt me to the point that I'm completely broken inside. You completely shattered my spirit.
>>
You blocked me, then unblocked me, and blocked me again.
Lmfao, what was your reason?

Do I really hurt you that much that my barren ass profile hurts to look at?
You're funny. If only I wanted to be your friend still, but we're way past that anyway.

I do hope you get that new job someday.
>>
I pretty much have no one and never will. My best friend, who I can’t even consider my friend anymore seeing as we haven’t spoken to each other much over the last 5 years, probably doesn’t give a shit about me either anymore. I wish I was different. Or maybe a completely different person. I have a whole life in my head that I wish was real. But it isn’t and never will be. That’s the most difficult thing to accept. I’ve wasted so much time waiting for things to happen, and they never do. I’ll try harder to make them happen from now on. I want to be my own person and have my own life.
>>
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when you try to return something but bring the wrong receipt so now the cashier probably thinks you're a thief

when you're so awful at interactions that your special talent is making everyone hate you

when you just wanna crawl into a corner and never talk to anyone ever again
>>
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All of my friends are drifting away from me for mundane and bullshit reasons. I keep wasting time trying to salvage friendships because I know I can't make new ones. My job is just adding to it, making me feel even worse. I feel like I peaked in fucking highschool and I'm just tumbling down the side of a cliff face.

This shit fucking hurts and each day just feels empty and repetitive.
>>
>>20227725
If you fucked up then you should be the one taking the initiative.
>>
Fuck you, Mom.

You’ve given me ample ammo to use against Dad for ages, and he’s been dead for six years this month. Now it’s your turn to take the heat of your failures in raising me.

You asked me to change my name back to my birth name because of the failures in your marriage. I spent hundreds of dollars changing it because I hated that name, so no, I’m not fucking going back to satisfy you.

You never listened to a thing I said, and now you’re being investigated for fraud. You didn’t continue your career when you had ample reason to do so, you only got jobs for a few weeks at a time, and you bought properties which you knew you couldn’t pay for on your own. You chose to live beyond your means, you racked up huge debts you’ll never pay off, and you got me stuck in the middle of your bullshit.

You got me to be the bridge between you and my dad when you didn’t want to talk to him because you were hiding being in a new relationship. Dad died broken-hearted in part thanks to you.

You moved me so many times growing up that I never learned to socialize properly. Every home I ever had is gone thanks mostly to you. Do you know how hard it is living with extended family, getting to see them content and stable year after year, and realizing I never had that? I’ve lost count of all the homes and schools over the years. I’ll probably never get married or have a family because I’m too emotionally deprived to care for others, thanks to you.

You spend half your day on Facebook instead of getting a job.
You wasted hundreds of dollars I made to pay for that storage shed you asked me to get to store your things, then you took it all back after that money was gone.
You left me with no college fund, no way to support myself, and I couldn’t go to college for six years because I won’t have you co-sign any loans. I’m starting life over years later thanks to the damage you made.

Just fuck you, Mom. Fuck you.
>>
>>20227737
story?
>>
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Why Maria? Why why why Maria?

MARIA!!!
>>
Huh. Why would you wrap your hands around my neck like that all of a sudden? It came out of nowhere and it wasn't in a sexual context. We were just cuddling and you did that. Neither of us expressed interest in that previously either. It was only for a split second so that wasn't so bad, but it was... weird. Came out of nowhere.
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>>20227849
I guess I should mention that this person wasn't angry or anything and they weren't using much force. Still weird though.
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>>20227817
Why do you want a story?
I doubt it involves you.
>>
>>20227865
Run.
>>
Once basically every two months or so, I become heavily aware about how shit I am at talking to girls irl that I rely solely on Tinder, etc. to meet and talk to them, as to avoid as much actual in-person socialization as possible.

Tonight is that "once". RIPIP.

At least I'm aromantic so I don't have to worry about whether or not they "like me back", whatever that means.
>>
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I can't fap to hentai/animated porn for whatever reason, but I still collect it. Extra no-go if it's a character I actually know. It's a weird thing I have going on, and I feel like I'm missing some opportunities for a good nut session.
>>
>>20227849
>>20227865
Maybe he is a psychopath.
>>
>>20227849
I would be careful around this person in the future.
>>
can i admit to crimes on here or will the feds break down my door immediately?
>>
>10:40
>I have already masturbated 3 times.
>The sadness and fatigue start to kick in.
>My parents have gone until sunday night.
>I have heard this story before.
>>
Fucking hate this shit town. I'm starting to get really sour and demented in the head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaJpGc_Vgow
>>
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>normie as fuck friend whines about a girl he has a huge crush on
>pretends to be a sperg about it when he's clearly not
>he asks her out and she says yes, because that's what happens with normies
>they have sex on the second date
>he complains about her not being extremely enthusiastic during sex
>says it doesn't matter because he just wanted to fuck her once anyway

>meanwhile I still can't ever get a fucking first date
>>
I'm so sad. I never thought you could be like that. You're just straight ignoring me. Few days ago we were talking and laughing as if nothing happened. Turns out you're still holding the grudge and mad at me.
>>
Being unloved is the worst thing ever.
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Got another job, gotta put in my two weeks notice or something at my current one today when I go in. How do I make it not awkward? Will I get sent home?
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>>20228162
Just tell the truth and tell your boss how you feel with manners and respect.
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>>20228176
I was just planning on saying "hey I got some news, [place] hired me, so I need to put in my two weeks notice"
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>>20228182
That would be awkward. Put more details, tell them why you need the job. Either because the new job is more beneficial to you or the current circumstances in your life has made it so for you to make that decision. It's up to you, you tell your story.
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>>20228182
Also show gratitude for your time at the workplace. Your boss will appreciate it.
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I want to run away and forget everything I was and be somebody else.
>>
You've really changed. I know you're going through hard times and I want to support you no matter what. When you love someone you stick with them through the hard times. But you seem so distant now. Even if we're living in the same apartment, even if we're sleeping together in the same room in the same bed, you seem further than ever before. I feel like things will get better, but at the same time, but I still have that nagging feeling. We can be closer like we were before. I know we can. Feelings like that don't just die, I believe they're dormant in you somewhere. You aren't that fickle. I am trying my best to stay positive. If I get depressed too it's over. We won't be able to get out.
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I dont know why you always have to be so angry and annoyed with me when im just trying to watch your back so you dont end up like dad.
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I want that car so bad but the seller has not contacted me after over 5 days when I asked him something on the website where it's posted. Fuck why can't I ever have anything I really want?
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>>20228215
You are your parents children. It's the legacy that is engraved since childhood.
>>
>exgf cries, tells me she had sex with someone else
>we're broken up 1.5 months
>she says she feels like she betrayed me, i'm too good of a human being to not sleep around
>more guilt thoughts stuff like "i'm a horrible person, no one should be with me" etc.

uhm what the hell am i supposed to do?
not gonna comfort her, but technically it's not cheating and i don't really care
!?
>>
>>20228232
Do you forgive her? If so, tell her you do and release her from the torment. Doesn't mean you have to be together or even friends going forward. Sometimes people do things that reveal who they are and makes any trust impossible
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im scared what this new guy will bring to the project. i dont want it to get ruined as the other members who are in are amazing. im secretly hoping that this guy wont stay or that we decide not to keep him
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>>20228240
honestly? i don't know what there is to forgive.
if she's feeling guilty it's on her, if she still has feelings for me but doesn't express them, it's her fault
so
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>>20228250
Her cheating that led to the end of the relationship. She seems to be carrying guilt about it which is true it is her own problem, but knowing you don't hold it against her might help her move on. In assuming you still love her on some level
>>
It's moot at this point but just kind of validates me even more. As if I needed anything else to do that but finding out what you did Valentine's and how my "crazy paranoia" really wasn't. It helps seeing it clearer. It also oddly helps me feel better knowing that I wasn't the entire problem and I can have a healthy relationship in the future. Because I'll only be with a real man, one who is a true stand up guy. One that can be honest to my face, knows what he wants and knows how to treat me. I feel like finding out has also helped me to release and let go of the bitterness. I really wish you well. I wasn't what you wanted and it would've saved a lot of people heartache if you just told me that. I wish you and her the very best. <3
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The idea that people think it's ok if my life gets ruined just because I have the possibility to get pregnant makes me want to kill people and maim children because they're evil monsters that ruin women's lives. I am not less important than unwanted offspring.
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>>20228255
>>20228255
she didn't cheat though anon, we were broken up over a month, had sex with each other and she just recently had sex with someone else
sounded to me more like a buyers remorse
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>>20228262
You're not more important either
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>>20228262
then try not having sex?
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>>20228271
I am not less important either, and I have the right not to have my life ruined by offspring I don't want. Which means I have the right to unrestrained legal access to hormonal birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy in all situations, the right to demand my husband not touch me when sex is a risk for me and the right to enforce it on him, the right to abort anything that is a threat to my health, and the right to abort anything that results from rape in case my husband or anyone else rapes me.
>>
>>20228262
I bet everyone hates you.
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>>20228275
So don't get married?
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>>20228284
You have been deceived
>>
You think you know it all but you don't know me
And that's all you'll ever know
You think you have it all but you don't have me
And that's all you'll ever have
You think you get it all but you don't get me
And that's all that you'll ever get
You talk about lies and hypocrisy
Well, it takes one to know one
>>
>>20228290
If you see a possibility to have children as "life-ruining", then yes.
>>
My idiotic parents should never had children. All they get is fucked up kids like me.
>>
I wish I could be loved
How? How can I feel love
If not from you
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>>20228300
I know enough.
>>
>>20228301
I don't see it as life-ruining if it's under my conditions. 1 time, when I'm for ready it. Outside of those specific circumstances it is life-ruining, which is why I take birth control to prevent it.
I want to have sex with my husband for the pleasure of making love with the man who loves me and not for children.
>>
GPS had me drive down near you this morning and I saw your car parked outside her house. I wish and hope you get free of her clutches one day and get to be your own man and not her puppet. I think that's when you'll finally be able to grow into an adult.
>>
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I met my best friend from high school today after 5 years
He has a wife,a nice job,a baby daughter and good house d I'm still a worthless neet
I think about suicide every day
I don't really want to die but this life is not worth living
>>
>>20228326
Same here. And then all those normal people complain about their problems. Normal people problems.
Everyone says it's wrong to compare yourself to others but it's fucking impossible not to.
>>
>>20228326
The funny thing is on some level, your friend probably envies you. I'm in a similar situation except my friend has two kids and I went to his wedding. He loves his family but he has confided to me that he misses the freedom of being young and single.
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>>20228374
>>20228326
It's kinda funny to listen to him talk because he waxes nostalgic constsnroy about the days when we could stay up and play CS all night. Now he barely gets 10 minutes to himself. It's work all day, drive home in traffic and tend to his family. Learn to be content where you are. When you really get swept along into the current of life you'll miss these days
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>>20228262
If you want to be extra safe just get sterilized. If you want kids in the future just adopt. Win win.
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>>20228392
I don't want to actively look for someone else's kids. If my dying friend asks me to look after her children, I might serioudly consider adoption, otherwise no. I want my own kid. I use nexplanon which is even more effective than sterilization (look it up) so I'm good.
That is unless some shits like the fuckheads in Alabama decide to outlaw my birth control because they hate me and think I deserve less rights than anyone else, then I will have to force drastic measures on others as others are trying to force them on me.
>>
>>20228413
Fair enough. Never heard of people trying outlaw a birth control drug. Thought it would be encouraged more than abortion.
>>
>>20227743
FUCK YEAH I believe in you anon!

Protip: ONLINE GAMING, start adding ppl on steam, play games with them, that isn't friendship, but it's something
>>
>>20228426
You didn't read the news about Alabama and West Virginia then. They want to declare that fertilized eggs are people so to make birth control illegal, as it might prevent implantation.
>>
I just need a place to speak and someone to listen.
I don't have long left now. About 3 weeks if the doctors are to be believed before my mind becomes numb and everything is over. For me at least. The rest of the world will go on. And I have no problem with that. But I want someone to listen before I go. I've thrown away everything just so nobody can get hurt. I made zero contact with all my friends and people I know and care about the moment I knew about the illness. I can't be responsible for your sadness. I'm sorry. My last contribution towards your life can't be the tears that you cried at my funeral. And I pushed every single one of you away. I hid my illness like I did my black heart from everyone. I refused to get attached to people and I refused to let people get attached to me. And I won. Except I'm crying and it feels like I've lost.
Every time you love someone, you're also winning. You're winning in life. And it doesn't have to be romantic love. It can be platonic love. Or just any form of love. I never loved all while I lived.
And I'm not going to get the chance to love ever again. But by doing so, I hurt the least amount of people. And I'm happy with my decision.
But all those of you who can love and win, bleed your fucking hearts out before you die and feel like shit
>>
>>20228196
Wrong. It is none of their business. Do not tell them where you are going or why. You’ll probably have an exit interview with HR- you are not obligated to answer anything. Stay professional and on-point.
>>
If only I could've been a normal guy, or you couldve seen in me what I saw in you.
Always and forever waiting on the day I hear from you again. Hopefully I hear from you again. One day..
>>
I deserve closure
>>
I feel lonelier around people than completely alone. Being around people often makes me nervous, except for a couple of people. Right now I'm alone in my small faculty and walking around the corridors blasting music in my headphones waiting for a big download to finish makes me feel great.
>>
Fuck you original Texas settlers! You thought it’d be so fucking hilarious to settle this fucking bipolar as weather state. Seriously fuck y’all
>>
I hate myself and every day gets harder to repress how I feel. I know the only answer is to kill myself, but i know others would miss me. I also can't tell them how I feel.
>>
I like futa porn and I’m not even that ashamed but I’ve never told anyone explicitly. I’m defiantly bisexual as a result but I’ve never experimented with a dude. I don’t find guys attractive but I think I like cock. My girlfriend would be chill with it she already knows I’m a little curious. I just worry about the futanari stuff because sometimes it’s just cute stuf and sometimes it’s MLP animated 2 foot horse dicks and that makes me ashamed
>>
>>20228535
Give it to yourself
>>
>>20228467
If you wanna keep a good network, it's a good idea. He don't have to tell him his life story. No need to be paranoid.
>>
I hate humanity, and I hate human nature. I hate how we are still subject to our primitive urges and habits.
>>
I don't want to seek validation in myself by hoping for someone to love me. I don't want the drama or stress. And yet I do want someone to connect emotionally and share life with. And I already know this person. But I don't think there is any hope for us and any point in my keeping on. I want to do everything I always wanted to and just kinda die. He doesn't understand. He won't be in my life and he won't leave me alone either. I don't want to think about it but I can't help it.

Why do you say you care about me and are holding back.. when you could just have me..
>>
I've dropped out of two unis already, in my third now. All this shit is boring. I wish trades didn't fuck up your health in time, I did landscaping for a while and it was OK and sparky work for me family is even more fun. Not sure what to do with my life.
>>
>>20228627
Enjoy your debt
>>
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Guess I'll just use this thread.

I'm a fit 7.5/10 ,6ft ,missing 2 fingers due to an accident. I don't know what girls would think of me,since I've been pretty isolated since the accident.
http://www.strawpoll.me/16810441
>>
>>20228643
Fuck off
>I’m good looking but I have this one thing wrong with me
Of course they’ll get over it!
I’m tired of privileged beautiful people pretending they have issues
>>
>>20228566
I'm in the same situation. I don't see any point on living in this psychological state and in this type of life that I have. I live in a permanent nightmare, a nightmare that repeats daily, weekly and annually. And there is nothing I can do about it because I can't fight against my brain. I also say to my self that I won't be able to kill myself but recently I'm thinking that just give it time and you don't know how you will be like in 10 years living like I live now. For example, some years ago I never thought on losing all my friends, being completely alone, having gone to 3 psychologists, taking antidepressants and other meds, thinking about living in the street and seeing it as a near possibility, etc. So I just don't know, I still think that I won't be able to do it because It gives me too much fear and as you said and everything that has thought about it has said, I don't want that my family will be thinking all his life that it was their fault and affecting them the rest of their lives. Although I'm affecting their lives now too, but I suppose that killing myself would be so much worse.

My advice to you: try to find some instant pleasures and just don't give a fuck about anything. That helps me in times when I can't stop thinking about suicide or my dark future. It helps me to calm me down in those bad moments. It isn't a final solution but it helps me in those moments.
>>
I'm working casually and worked 40 something hours this week as opposed to my usual 10 a week and I feel so emotionally and physically drained that it has me seriously worried about how I'm going to keep motivation when it comes to getting a full time job
>>
>>20228449
I will.
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>>20228659
You'll get used to it. Or you won't and go back to part-time
>>
I miss you. You don't deserve that.
>>
I thought I was gonna have a girlfriend by now but no.
I don't want to spend the holidays at home.
I don't want to go to that wedding party alone.
I don't want to spend valentine's day alone.
All my "friends" are in relationships and they are way younger than me. I know life is not a race and all that but let's be honest, you can't really avoid comparing yourself to others all the time when you keep failing to improve yourself.
>>
>>20227975

There is literally nothing wrong about being a psychopath. There's a ton of high functioning psychopaths out there.
>>
I got to know you, I learned about you. The one month we shared together was amazing, fun. But yet "feelings towards me never grew" back to my dull nights. How can that be? I thought everything was going great... Yet it ended.
>>
>>20228718
I met psychopaths. None of them are good people. They are destroyers, intentional or not.
>>
>>20228574
Easier said then done. Would be nice if I could see them person to person and ask why, even if it weren't the most prudent decision. There's a certain pointlessness in trying to make another individual understand the abhorrent actions and pain they have put you through when they don't and haven't given a shit. Doesn't mean it is pointless to create closure, like you suggested.
>>
>>20228709
Deserve what?
>>
>>20228718
Disagree.

There are too many psychopaths running amuck. This is the problem with the world today. Ruled by greed selfishness and a me first culture.

Fuck psychopaths.
>>
>>20228751
I never said it was easy. I'm learning this very lesson myself. You have no idea what I've endured and the one in my care has had to endure. We're still healing with intermittent pains half a year later.
I wanted to confront the person so much more than I can express here. Due to his history of psychotic breaks, I can't.
>>
>>20228751
Silence is a closure that speaks for itself.
>>
>>20228786
Gee mister you sure are profound
>>
>>20228843
Well what do you expect? That they forgot to give you closure?
>>
>>20228758

No, that's just your average narcissist.
>>
>>20228855
Hardly any difference desu.
>>
>>20228850
Mine can't legally. I blocked him permanently. ;) so that's how I got my closure.
>>
>>20228894
Okay?
>>
>>20228855
Both soulless beings
>>
>>20228898
My point again is give yourself closure. Don't look for them to.
>>
>>20228911
Oh, got it.
>>
Girl in my school stares at me and always seems to find her way to sit next to me, I wonder if she likes me. We have never talked and I'm too shy to talk in case I have misread her. Lately she has started to wear glasses and I wonder if that's because I wear glasses, it sounds so stupid but also realistic. Girls always make my head spin, no wonder so many songs are about them.
>>
I don’t even register fat people as human
>>
V,
Can you tell me how you feel? You can say it here and I won’t know for sure it’s you. Please, whatever it is, everything will be alright. I’ll always be here for you even if you don’t speak to me again.
>>
>>20228785
That's true, hope you get better
>>20228786
In some instances but not always. People's actions can eat away at someone, read poster above
>>
It's really over, isn't it? All that blowing smoke about being friends was just that: Blowing smoke. Man, it was so BAD at the end that I'm actually considering calling up my ex before you. At least she had a fucking conscious. The worst part is that no matter how bad you were, I can't even be that mad because I really do care for you and love you. But I know if I talk to my other ex, I'll never have a chance to speak to you again. Fuck you.
>>
well i feel like shit

>been doing this class at local community college for about a month
>cute girl in class, seems pretty quiet, spends her breaks alone, looking at her phone or reading
>talk to her one day after class, just to ask her something, she seems friendly
>about a week later talk to her more, have a nice but brief conversation, getting to know each other a little bit
>feel good for attempting to make a friend since I don't have any at this school and don't have much of a social life to begin with
>talk to her one more time a few days later to ask if she's feeling better (she was sick the week before)
>she says she's fine and thanks me for asking
>"good, see you tomorrow"
>"see you tomorrow"
>a week goes by
>haven't talked to her, she's made no effort to talk to me
>another week goes by, still nothing
>get impression she's avoiding me since she's started leaving class slightly before everyone else, as if to deny me any chance to approach her afterwards
>today I go up to do a math problem on the board
>she gets up and leaves as soon as i get up, half hour before the end of class

I could very well be overthinking this, maybe she just has to be somewhere. But still, I just get kind of a weird vibe from her lately, and now I'm worried I've somehow offended her. I don't know how I could have, the few times we talked she didn't seem to mind and I surprisingly didn't do anything autistic. So I don't know if it's me, or maybe it's her -- she seems a little quiet and anxious herself. I'm not totally devastated over this or anything, but I still feel a little paranoid and hurt by this.
>>
>>20228636
Uni is free here.
>>
>>20228753
They don't deserve to be missed.
>>
>No one can help a person that can't help himself.
>I can't help myself because I see myself as a lost cause, a totally mentally ill and psychological destroyed person, I'm bored of everything and I have lost all hope.
>So there is no one or anything that can change my actual state of mind and end my psychological problems, erase all that I have lived in recent years, etc.
>So what is the point of keep living like this? Everyday is just a nightmare and I don't find any satisfaction in living anymore, only instant pleasures like eating or watching porn.
>>
>>20229095
U took the words out of my mouth bro
>>
I'm in love with someone who lives in a different country. Part of me wants to jump into a relationship with her, despite most likely not being able to see each other for years. Another part of me know that jumping into exclusivity with someone far away is dangerous.
I want to date around, have flings and relationships, but at the end of the day go back to her, marry her, and raise a family. But if I start having flings and relationships, she may not wait for me and find happiness elsewhere.
>>
>>20229095
I've felt that way too at one point but I kept going.

I'm glad I did. I've gotten better and even though I'm struggling, I'm happy to be alive and happy to see what is coming next.
>>
Fuck, I wanna bang this hot fat slut from my school so bad. She also sort of reminds me of my ex from the way she carries herself.
>>
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>text friend if he's gonna show up at drinks
>no response
>text his gf if they're gonna both show up
>no response
FUCK I FUCKING HATE BEING IGNORED FUUUUCK
>>
Let me start off by making it clear that I'm still in high school therefore alot younger than most of you but still mature
>Be me
>ugly, short, black (in a predominantly white area)
>Autistic and have social anxiety
>Have suicidal thoughts almost hourly
>hate school from a very young age, the routine, restrictions, pointless repetitive bullshit
>im sick of it all but no one seems to get me
>My parents are kenyan immigrants who had tough upbringings
>am not like the abusive paremts you'd imagine but from young would beat me for tiny things like not finishing my lunch or not doing chores or really insignificant stuff like that
>my parents are loving at times but overall i always have and currently do hate them
>Get to the age where im interested in relationships
>one girl: Daisy (i won't say last name) is good looking and a really warm and easy to talk to girl, i realy like her even now
>we get the same bus and theres 3 boys and 3 girls normally
>i always make an effort to talk to daisy but anxiety kicks in and end up looking like a bitch
>my best friend tells her to speak to me coz im sad
>i tell her everything including the fact that my bro (the only person i can relate to growing up despite him being 8 years older making it difficult for us to communicate) is in prison
>she understands and i think we're bonding despite my issues
>other day we get on the bus and im excited to see daisy despite the fact i know that i'll fail
>they're playing a game called nervous where you touch someone until they say nervous
>i say i want to play
>one of the girls touches my hair which makes me freak out (but i hide it well) because it's one of my autisic ticks, i dont like people touching my hair
>my friend has daisy touch his dick
>me daisy and the 2nd of the 3 girls get off at same bus stop
>we walk home together and i try to start conversation
>>
>>20229147
(cont.)
>they walk away and i havent spoken to them since
>this happened two days ago
>daisy is really sweet and i actually love her but i feel so lonely
>i dont have many friends
>i hate coming home to my parents
>i hate going to school where i get picked on and spend most of my day yet hate it all
>all my close friends get loads of girls and this sort of thing comes easy for them and their parent are nice and not horrible
>my parents make me want to die and my relationship with daisy made me optimistic but now i cant even talk to her
>suicide seems alot more inviting
>im desperate and lonely
what should i do, ive had it
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
I AM AT MY WITS END AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
>>
>>20229164
(cont. 3)
there is no escape for me, school, home, talking in between to daisy and her friends, there is no escape and i dont know what to do
I HAVE NOWHERE TO ESCAPE TO, NOWHERE TO GO, NO ONE TO RELY ON, NOTHING TO TAKE MY MIND OFF OF THINGS,
I AM AT MY WITS END AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
help me please
what should i do
>>
>>20229172
Is Daisy a nigger also? If not then stick to your own race.
>>
>>20229173
no
and why
>>
>>20229173
and there's no one else who i actually love as much as i love daisy
but she doesn't love me back
>>
>>20229177
You're clearly not as mature as you think you are.
>>
>>20229183
i am also from /pol/ but this isn't about racemixing or anything like that
that's besides the point
>>
>>20229116
And how did you do it?
>>
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>cute girl shows signs that she clearly likes me
>she starts seeing someone else that she most certainly likes too, because I take too long to do anything about it
>when I ask her she tells me the other guy is maybe also seeing someone else besides her
>I ask her out
>she gives me the "I'm busy" excuse
>a week later she posts some status about how she's unlucky in love
>>
>>20229330
if you take too long to do anything do you even like her
>>
>>20229335
To be fair it took me long to start liking her and we don't have too much in common. Also I have that mentality that I shouldn't try to date since I might have depression.
>>
i have literally spent months crying for a message i wrote that didn't even got sent for internet issues. i unblocked the person i blocked and found out they have thought about me too and kept sending me messages and i legit thought it was over and was fucking crying about it everyday. meanwhile, i have gotten to know another person out of desperation for not having this person, and for some reason i decided to unblock the first one after this encounter, and found out all this.
now person 2 is sending me messages and they're legit cute. i still would give up person 2 for person 1, but person 1 is not replying to my messages now. what THE FUCK do i do.
>>
>>20229338
yeah it just doesn't sound like you really like her, so she actually is unlucky.
>>
I spent election night cuddling with a girl and watching Hulu shows. I could tell from her body language that I could have taken things further, but I didn't and we just stayed like that. It was so comfy, it's refreshing to be talking to someone with such a similar level of low pressure to what we're doing. Maybe if we hang out again I'll push it a little, but the fact that we're both cool with not is nice.
>>
I've been alone since 2008. My last relationship was all sorts of messed up, on both sides, though I honestly consider myself to be worse in some regards when compared to what my ex-girlfriend did. Don't get me wrong, she did plenty horrible shit: trying to make me jealous, cutting me off one by one from my friends, wanting me to basically go to the same university as her so our lives would be even further intertwined.

Still. 10 years of being alone. I'm so tired of it. I'm just so tired of being alone and only knowing about love from another person (who's not family or my few remaining friends) by remembering the past. I want to move on. I want to actually feel something for someone new. I want to feel loved.

I know I won't though, because I don't put in any effort whatsoever into meeting new people. Honestly, I'm that fucking desperate that I'm considering using Tinder or OkCupid even though they'll probably fuck up my self-esteem like nothing else.
>>
Is the rot within you, part of who and what you are, forever linked to your individuality and directing your actions and experiences? Or is the rot in your actions, staining your entire self until you change them? Perhaps the rot comes from outside yourself, imposed to you by society, family, past experiences? Or maybe, everything is rotten and there is no escape but illusion and distraction. Are you under the control of your illness, or are you illness itself, J? Are you rotten, or are you rot itself?

Snap out of it. It has been more than I can take, enough already. I miss you. I love you.
>>
I made a whole new Facebook account, fake name, etc, just to avoid you but you still keep following me everywhere I go. If I block you, you tell me you will kill yourself and try to make me feel guilty. I haven't initiated conversation with you in 2 years, my replies are curt on purposed, take the hint and just leave me alone, please. People grow apart and that's normal, stop trying to cling to a dead friendship. I was never your best friend and I don't want to be.
I'm so mad, I had to leave groups I really liked because you joined them to seek me out. Just leave me alone, please.
>>
>>20229391
Initials
>>
>>20229351
But she wouldn't know, I mean I DID ask her out after all and it was her who rejected me. She probably preferred the other guy anyway, all her friends prefer that guy over me for her.
>>
>>20229400
Why? They don't go on this site and it's unrelated to romance issues
>>
Man I'm paranoid as hell because of the news reporting on these mass shootings. I was just walking outside and heard a series of loud bangs. My heart rate went up and I started to get short of breath. I don't know what the sound came from but my mind thought gunfire.
>>
>>20229432
Living in fear like that fucking sucks. I think it goes away after a while though. Like when you get robbed and you feel very tense for the following days. I'm sure the chances of being caught in a shooting are very small, maybe you can think about it the same way you'd think you won't be in a plane accident when you take a plane trip.
>>
>>20229390
I'm dying to know.
What's your letter, stranger?
>>
>>20229440
Oh yeah, some guys tried to rob me before and I felt very tense for a while. I still think sometimes I'm more cautious now because of it. I try not to fall into the fear mongering but it's pretty fucked up that there's nuts out there who will just come shoot up a function for seemingly no reason. That's just life, I guess.
>>
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I've got three exams over the next week, how do I structure my time?
>Game theory - need 75% to pass, 95% for credit, I have a week to study
>IR theory bullshit - 70% for a credit, have three days to study
>US security bullshit - 60% for a distinction, have three days to study
Obviously I don't want to get anything under 50% and thus fail a course, but if I get over 60% for all of these then I get a significant amount of my uni debt paid off. How do I best use my time? Heart is unironically beating really fast most of the time right now out of stress, I don't know what to do. Considering going absolutely balls deep on game theory but I don't want to neglect the others
>>
>>20229444
If you aren’t him, then what difference does it make?
If you are him, why would I want you to know it’s me? I would have just texted you, otherwise.
>>
>>20229432
Life is dangerous, it's supposed to be that way. The visage of security that the media tries to push down people's minds is false. The violence in people will come up whether it's through a gun, another weapon or through emotional violence or physical violence. That violence will come out, it's a natural part of the system.
>>
>>20229236
Reached out for help. Read self-help books, got into therapy, and learned cooping skills that worked for me and my lifestyle to help.
>>
>>20229350
You gotta get over person 1 and not be desperate to be alone.

It's not fair to person 2 or any other person that comes along to fill your void.
>>
Only thing I said to her was hello, need to find my balls to have a conversation with her, I always talk to other (attractive) girls normally but she‘s just above them FUAARRKRKKR
>>
I made so many enemies in life before I was even 18. I don't know how to move on from it and to get over seeing them and their comments about me. It hurts so much. A lot of them still hold grudges, some are even older adults who barely know me. How do I recover from this?
>>
>>20229804
Take an inventory of who you hurt or wronged.
Apologize to them or try to and ask if you can make amends.
Do it with humility and the knowledge they may not forgive or accept. That doesn't matter. That is on them.
Once complete with that task, go about your life and make the decision to not hurt others on purpose. It takes time but you'll recover, heal and thrive.
>>
We only live two and a half hours away from each other. I'm not sure if this qualifies as a LDR, but I think we can make it work if both of us want it bad enough. I'm in college and you're working full time, but I don't think it would be difficult to plan a biweekly trip when we both decide that we're doing this.

Our current living arrangements are the biggest obstacle this relationship will face, but we can still make it work. I will say this, do not think I'm stringing you along when I say that I want to be sure that this will work before we get serious. I don't want you heartbroken if this falls apart within the first few months, especially given how long we've known each other.
>>
>>20229172
See pic related.
>>
>>20229506
>Texting
Meh, good point.
Sorry stranger.>>20229595
>>
>>20229929
Oh because '''something went wrong'''
Sorry other stranger. I hate phoneposti g on a train.
>>
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>mfw I bought this and now I am waiting for it to arrive.
https://www.otonajp.com/puni-ana-miracle-dx

I am not sure how to feel. I have never had sex, nor have I ever had any sex toys, all I have ever done is just fapped. I am 25 now, and at this point, I doubt I'll ever have a gf anyways, so I figured that I might as well get this thing and try it out. If nothing else, I will have at least marginal experience of sex, even though wholly artificial. And maybe, in the case if I somehow end up with a gf at some point, I have something more than just fapping on which to call on.

Still, I am filled with shame.
>>
I fucking hate logistics. Its the most soulless type of work imaginable. The entire idea behind this shit to let all the higher-ups get their money without trouble and preferably without any investments. If you work in any kind of logistics job, you're basically a part of a machine that is supposed to run as efficiently as possible.
That's exactly what I felt like. Its so fucking soulless. In every other job I can imagine having some sort of passion or some other reason to be invested into what you do. Even janitors or garbage men do their job to help others, to be of service to people. My only way to be invested into what I do is complete more orders per minute. I feel like a goddamn tool.
>>
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My family background has a number of gifted people in it, and I'm typically very good at abstractions, regardless of the domain. I breezed through college with high scores and regularly participate in high level discourse with very knowledgeable people online (outside this site), and got into a decent paying job with little effort. But I still feel less than human. My motor skills are so bad that I can't learn how to drive or ride a bike no matter how hard I try. Still a khv. My financial situation and where I live has completely severed me from making contact with people in my local area who I can culturally relate to. I'm beginning to suffer from insomnia and anxiety attacks. Right now, I'm so depressed that it feels like a physical struggle just to stay upright at my desk. Such a shame to feel this way when my whole life I thought I was doing my best for myself and those around me.
>>
>>20227737
Oh please. Your insecurity is showing.
>>
>>20229999
What is your job?
>>
>>20229996
save up then quit my guy its healthy for u
>>
>>20230052
Internet marketing.
>>
>>20230072
And what do you specifically do?
>>
>>20230089
Promotion planning, data analysis and reporting, user experience testing, project scope management, that kind of stuff plus a good amount more.
>>
>>20230103
I wanted to know a more specific description like: "I sell this or respond to the users in this websites" But ok I think that I understand. And do do you like that job?
>>
I am becoming a shut in, split between my lack of social interactive ability and my absolute mistrust and disdain of fellow human beings. I work from home, but I find myself becoming more an more withdrawn and mistrustful of others and more and more depressed at my lack of sociality. I'm not even bothering bringing up women. I gave up on them a LONG time ago
>>
>>20230108
I see now, sorry for being vague, lol. I don't mind the work but the pay could be higher. It's fulfilling enough, especially when I like my team, which I currently do. I guess I could say that even then I don't really feel like I connect to any of them. Maybe there's something off with me.
>>
>>20230123
How old are you?
>>
>>20230141
27
>>
I'm 21 and I swear to god I've been miserable since I was 12, with only small bouts of euphoria or content here and there. These past few days have been awful for no reason. It doesn't matter what I do. I want to off myself. This is never going to change.
>>
>>20230159
And do you live by your own?
>>
It's been almost three weeks since we last spoke. That day you said I did a thing that was very nice and made you feel good. Why then has there been three weeks of silence since? You've uninstalled or otherwise turned off the app we use to talk. You didn't even reply to my text if you got my mail. I'm trying to be chill but it's hard when we usta talk every other day.. for more than a month straight. When we would hang out more than once a week. I miss you. I'm giving you another week of chill, then I'm going to send another card, just to express my concern and how much I miss you.
>>
>>20230177
I live in a 2 family with my brother.
>>
God, I love my new job. I love my new life. I love my new team. I love the bigger paycheck. I really love my new boss for saving my ass. I just love things right now.

I don't even care I was damaged from my last workplace. If anything I'm becoming normal again. That's all I ever wanted. This comfy position just makes me feel at ease for once. I will do anything and everything in my power to keep this job and make my boss smile.
>>
>>20229956
I don’t think you should be ashamed l. How much is that in dollars?
>>
After my mother tore up our family after giving all of our money away to a scam and abandoned my little brother with my stepdad, she's coming to visit tomorrow. I wish she wasn't. I bought her the plane ticket. I wouldn't have if she didn't threaten to commit suicide.

She hasn't learned anything. She still doesn't think she did anything wrong. I don't want to lose my temper in front of my little brother, he's still attached to her. I just hope that I'll be able to keep my sanity and dignity for the next two days.

I held out hope that she'd be willing to accept her mistakes, seek an apology and start fresh. That she'd be able to come back and look for a stable job and be there for her son. After talking to her on Thursday, I know that's not the case. I was played. She made up the suicide attempt to get me to talk to her. She lied again.

Never again. From now on no suicide attempt will make me talk to her. Not until she's back and has a stable job and minds her business. Knowing her that's never going to happen. It's hard to turn my back on someone I always thought had mine, but I won't let her use me again.
>>
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>gf is upset at me for being too positive
>when I get too serious, she gets upset because I end up being right
Okay, so what the fuck? I'm supposed to just get all the stress and pressure get to me? That's how she takes things, her way of coping is moping, and going into a funk where she doesn't want to do shit.
Mine? I go busy myself, think, process my issues and just get over them. A lot of things aren't that big of a deal. When shit hits the fan, I deal with it with the proper focus.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?
>>
Whenever I see kids whose mom loves them and hugs and kisses them and strokes their hair I get so sad because my mom was never tender like that, and even as old as I am I still crave that motherly nurturing affection.
>>
I have no real career goals, but I keep lying to my parents, my friends, and myself that I do and am already failing college because of that. What I really want out of life is to live away from my unstable family, to get out of this town where my HS past haunts me, and to be married to a wonderful guy and to know what love and stability truly is. Whenever I think about this, I think back to what a friend said a year and a half ago about love not being a proper aspiration for life. But I’m tired of being abused, of acting out in a toxic way, of having been an abusive person in my past due to family influence, and now holding guilt and trauma. I just want to live a calm life as a housewife making my husband happy and make a lot of new friends away from bad environments. I just want peace in my mind and my environment.
>>
>>20229833
Thank you for the response.

I am unable to contact most of them atm. But when I am able to, I will definitely try to apologize and make amends.
>>
>be me
>Ex broke up with me 2 months ago, ended on fairly good terms, but afterwards when I wanted to ask for some stuff back, he straight up ignored me. (I messaged him on snapchat, he opened it and wouldn't respond.)
>Talked for a bit the other day, he was complaining about how girls just always rejected or friendzoned him when I sarcastically asked him how dating was going for him
>"Anon, I fucking hate being single. Girls just leave me on read."

>Die of irony overload
>>
>>20230194
And have you thought on having by your own?
>>
>>20230383
I don't see the irony.
>>
>>20227737

I need space and you not looking at mine, creep. If I unblock you again it's not to leave an open door for you to re-enter my personal life if we run into each other, it's because I've decided I don't need you on my block list anymore.
>>
I really don't want to make a thread so can I just ask here?

I'm waiting on test scores to see if I can get the job I want where I'm at, if not I don't know what I might do.
I kind of like it here, but I really don't like what I'm doing. But its a nice job, they gave me the opportunity and I appreciate that, and it pays well, i just can't give a shit about what I'm doing or the things I'd be doing if I fail to get this job.

I think there's another place I can get a job, its something completely different and I have no idea how much I'd like it. But it would get me away from my current place and allow me to move where I want.
Is it worth trying out even though I have no idea how much I'd like it?
>>
>>20230376
You've already conquered the hardest step of all! You recognize that you did wrong and don't want to be that person any more.
That's the biggest part of all. You have a good heart. <3
>>
A girl I was and still am in love with broke up with me a couple years ago because she thought I cheated on her, and we've talked on and off but recently we started talking a lot again. I'm still hurt by what she did (won't go into detail) but I'm currently going out with the girl she thought I cheated on her to make her uncomfortable and posting pics of us on FB, and yes I'm a terrible person
>>
Every time I see an article like "15-types-of-friends-you-should-get-rid-of-immediately" it sounds like every 'friend' I've had. Where do you find good ones?

Right now this friend wants me to go to a regular event with a small amount of other people. They want me to invite people. But this friend always bails on plans with me, and sets things up like to get me excited to do something with them and then practically makes me beg and then it never happens.

I feel like they're trying to use psychology on me to make me desperate for their attention, but this person isn't like a lover, they're not religious, they're not recruiting me for a job. I don't get it.
>>
>>20230400
But I already gave you so much space. Hell I barely even breathe your direction.
I just find it weird you do this now and not like several months ago.
>>
>>20230443
They are enjoying your reaction. This is typically narcissistic behavior. They get off over having that power to control you and get that emotion out of you.
>>
C
You were right. I really do find a way to fuck everything up. I'm expert level at it
P
>>
my cat died today and I feel like a chunk of me has been taken away
>>
I'm sorry I panicked and told you to cut contact with me, I want to fix this but I fear it's too late and I fear that you might actually feel better off without me by now.

I'm sorry I fucked up. I know we can't be together, but I really did want you to like me.
>>
I'm noticing when he is doing well, I'm not really angry with you. I can think about you without the rage and resentment.
I think about that day in court. You will never know how difficult a decision it was to make but I'm really glad I did. In that one day, I got a glimpse into your thought process...holy shit was it concerning!
I mean, it made sense because I know who was around you influencing your thoughts. And because they convinced you it really wasn't your fault, you took that into court with you.
And they left you there. Alone to defend yourself. It was painful to hear from where I sat. How justified you sounded at times and then moments of stumbling upon words, flustered. You sounded like a lost kid. It just didn't feel fair. I was angry with how they handled it. Gassed you up, even got dcf to play along. You paraded that report like a badge of honor. You never knew but that detective tried pushing me early on to file for a permanent restraining order against you. She was disgusted with me when I didn't readily agree.
No. I wasn't ready then. I didn't know your mind did a total 180*. How you didn't see anything wrong with what you had done...over and over and yeah over again. My lawyer said it was one of the most lethality cases she's ever came across. 70% of strangulation victims die after the first attempt. The fact that I survived so many? She said if you hadn't admitted to numerous attacks at your arrest it would've been difficult to prove.
>>
Ultimately you saved me...saved me from you but yeah, that saved me.
I remember one time after one of the attacks, it was a really good day and I was celebrating something great and you said to me because you let me live to see it, that I should be thankful to you.
The insanity of it all is astounding from this view!
I'm glad there was that freak meeting on the road - the 1 time we looked into each other's eyes and made eye contact throughout this ordeal. Once recognition of me took place, a literal murderous rage presented itself in your face. That was all I needed to proceed for getting the order. You weren't even supposed to be there then! It was 20 after the hour. I'm guessing you dropped him off late to school. I was heading north to one of my jobs, heading to get coffee first.
It was the ultimate "Everything happens for a reason" moment. I saw what I needed to see. The light I remember you had was gone. Completely.
I think of that moment often and when he's peaceful and thriving and displaying happiness, I'm able to feel deep compassion and sorrow for you. When he's good, so am I. So that's my goal in life now - to make sure he's good. He has everything he needs and that he heals. And that I protect him from anyone who threatens that. He deserves so much more than what he's gotten.
>>
I'm so fucking tired of girls saying shit like
>stop trying to make love happen. Itll come to you!
Shit dont work like that for guys. If I find my soulmate and perfect match, I'm the one who has to ask her out and make the effort to get things to work. Maybe women can wait for a guy, but guys dont get to wait. Women will never ask a guy out.
>>
I refuse to let an old flame die and it’s slowly killing me and my relationships with the people around me. It’s been 8 years Isabel, why did you leave.
>>
The postpartum hormones accompanied with the sleep deprivation for so long...I was truly unhealthy and did not handle the situation well. Those months seemed to awaken some psychotic beast that was dormant inside you. Thank God for the job that changed my life. With it came sleep but a lot more. Time away from you and even though there was anxiety due to what had been endured, it actually helped me in getting better and stronger. I was treated with respect and sought after for my knowledge. It was in such contrast with the life I lived with you and her. I wasn't treated with respect by her and you used to get so angry with me for pointing it out. You denied it was even happening! Over time I changed my coping skills and got healthier. I tried to help you to get healthy. I think you wanted relief too because you came to therapy with me. You took the natural supplements. I don't know if you were too sick to reach or if her constant comments and manipulating whenever I was away created the conflict but it was undeniable that you were not getting better and the stronger and healthier I was becoming, the less stable you became. The dysfunctional cycle was not ending. I used to be able to sense when the blow up or abusive episode was going to happen but that no longer applied. Unpredictable and out of nowhere. I felt the tension between you two at times when I was "home" (use that term loosely) and when you'd flip out on me, It was as if I was taking the brunt of your deep seeded rage towards her. I spoke up about my concern for her safety to the detective early on. I knew you shoved her out the room once when she wouldn't leave you alone. Who knows what else, she would never tell anyone and protect you from repercussions. I was told if I had my son with me and if you two wanted to fight and argue, that was your business. I guess that's true. As long as he isn't subjected to it any more. I love that we have a peaceful environment. He deserves a safe home.
>>
The world is so fucked up. My life is so insignificant. How the fuck do you deal with it without getting numb? Pushing the boulder up and up again, trying to make progress, trying to "improve myself".. Feels like fucking horseshit. I just wanna be ok, feel ok. I just want everyone to be ok. But life is inherently a nightmarish scenario and we try to cover our human existence up as something more glamorous or civilized and secured when shit goes down every fucking day, people die randomly and suddenly and for no reason at all. I know this sounds like the rantings of a depressed 13 year old. I guess it's the 13 year old in me that was depressed and wanted to kill myself, to hide from reality. I don't know how to make it ok. I don't know how to make it seem acceptable. I don't know how to find balance and be brave enough to take risks, the right risks, at the right time. I'm so fucking scared. I'm so so so so scared
>>
I knew you weren't done with him. I have better things to do with my time than wait on you to decide on who you want to be with. I don't think it's occurred to you yet, but I have options available and you aren't the only one I have to choose from.

I hate that I wasted my time on you, but that's how life goes. I'm glad this happened early on and not six months deep in the relationship.
>>
>>20230620
I hear this type of struggle a lot on these threads. I can relate because I felt that way too for a long time.
All I know is when I made peace with my spirituality - not talking religion - but when I figured out there was more to us than just these bodies and that we are infinitely loved, that I was able to start to get things turned around.
Didn't happen overnight. It's been years of struggle and I'm still going at it.
I don't want to die any more though and haven't wanted to in...I don't remember?
The key, friend, is to hang in there No matter what. Keep going even when you feel like you can't. Keep trying. Keep reaching for better.
>>
>>20230637
I will. I just hope I don't die before I really become myself. Who I want to be, who I should be, or who I'm meant to be or whatever. I'm scared of disappearing. I want to be good, make something good, help people feel better and less afraid and alone. I pray these days. I pray that God will help me, my friends and my family, and everyone else who needs help. Thanks for the encouragement.
>>
>>20230648
You've got a faith! That's awesome and I promise you, that's the start.

So, you know you're a soul with a body and not the other way around. I don't care what faith background you come from, focus on your relationship with "God" or creator or source or fill-in-the-blank. I promise you, if you get to have a relationship built there, you will strength your faith and belief that you are living your purpose.
Geez it sounds so gayly cliche and honestly there was a time I couldn't stand to hear "crap" like this.
I'm telling you though, THIS is what had gotten me through this year and gotten me to keep moving forward with my sanity. Well, enough sanity to function in daily life.
I've faced the most difficult challenges of my life this year - and I'm no spring chicken - I've learned this is the key that's gotten me through it all.
I've also learned my prayer time is really just communicating with God or meditating to find peace and strength.
You'll get there because you've got the most important basic parts and you have a desire to get there. :D
>>
>>20230661
I really don't know if I am a soul or a body. I don't know if there is a God. I don't even really know who I truly am. I'm just taking shots in the dark at prayers and what not because it makes me feel better. I prefer to stick to the closest thing to absolute truth there is, and because of that I deal in vagaries when it comes to these things. I deal in uncertainties because this is all uncertain for me. There is so much I don't know. For some reason I feel a little better having written that out though.
>>
Sometimes I wonder if you got with her after you saw me with him because you thought that was apart of the game. I hope you are taking this one seriously. I'm not playing games and you shouldn't either, especially with unsuspecting people.
>>
Why do you mock my interests?
>>
A good friend has started seeing a shit person and it’s hitting me in the feels. It’s to the point where I want to punch the dude in the jaw.
>>
>>20230688
Well, you have to remember they are an adult and its their life. What makes them so shitty?
>>
Pretty fed up with my GF's bullshit. I have never complained about my manual labor job but being condescended to about it because it's "only working 6 to 3" when she's a career student who works 12 hours a week in a kitchen and then her expecting to be pampered constantly is starting to really boil my milk. Things were better when I travelled regularly for work, I'm unironically considering joining the army again so I can deploy and get away from this shit. And if she can't hack it or cucks me, fuck it, I'll just break up with her. Kind of a win-win at this point.
>>
>>20230670
Hey it's a start. I was raised strictly in a religion but things happened in my life and in early adolescence I became atheist. Remained that way for years until I became a parent. When I looked at my child and felt unconditional love, I felt there was more to life. I didn't know what but I no longer believed nothing existed.
When I first witnessed a person die in front of me, I was, as the kids nowadays say "Shook". Def triggered. That I've experience launched me into looking for answers. I read up on other religions, attended different churches, even delved into science books. Read up on everything I could. I was obsessed. I didn't really have a solid faith or belief though. Life kept happening and shit happened and it was hard. I ended up in ICU with a near death experience. Lived through that and was more certain than ever there was more.
Despite everything that happened before, it wasn't until this year that I've been able to fit it all together.
Do I KNOW what happens when we die and cross over? Nope. Haven't made it that far. I do know that there is something over there and I'm not afraid to meet it when it's my time. In the meantime, while I am here, I feel infinitely loved and protected. No matter what happens, it is for a purpose - even the shit. I learn or grow or help others to do this.
I also no longer want to be the one killing myself. I could not always say that throughout my life.
Yeah, it does help to write it out.
>>
>>20230698
Sounds like you got an ex gf
>>
Maybe I'll just try again Monday
>>
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I went out to a live show for the first time in years and it was really uncomfortable. I didn't want to go but I made myself knuckle through it. It was absolutely packed, I wanted to leave the whole time. I forced myself to stay to the intermission and then slipped out.

Why is it so painful for me to go "out" into the world. I don't want to be like that, but I just feel horrendously out of place everywhere I go, even when I'm with my family. I think I need professional help.
>>
Looking for a new designer bag for your sugar daddy to buy you? Huh? Is that what you're doing?
>>
>>20230748
Sounds like social anxiety anon. If it's interfering with enjoying your life, and it does sound like that, seek help for it.
>>
When you in a dry spell and the neighbors going at it.
>>
>>20230725
Try what again?
You had your chance this week and you lost.
If you're so committed, you would go out of your way for her until she looks or seems uncomfortable
>>
Had to stop being friends with someone recently because theyre really just not a good person or a good friend. Despite this I loved him like a brother anyway for 2 years. It's an online friend group and we've met up twice (7 of us going across us states and some even from Canada). We all loved each other like family. I thought. I feel so betrayed and I'm mad that I feel this way; it feels like a breakup and we were just friends. Another guy will probably leave the friend group too because they were bff and he feels weird now. Even though he and the other guy were problems and always started drama, they were family and it hurts to see them go. I loved them and they were important to me. But fuck them.

I just hate that I'm so affected by this. I never want to make friends again. And I hate that
>>
>be me
>people ask if i have gf or wife w/ kids
>"no"
>DAFUQ.jpeg
>tell them i'm shy and won't be able to provide a comfy life for my so
>everyone gives their relationship advice, life story, sex tips
>"anon, go to a hooker and get your mojo back"
>"anon, girls are just as horny as guys"
>"anon, you're overthinking"
>pretty much get put on blast and have to hear this shit everyday

at this point, i'm about ready to just go on tinder and find a random thot
>no matches
oh...n-nevermind. back to 2d
>>
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There's a really cute girl who sits next to me in my calc 3 lecture and I really wanna talk to her. I see her on her phone fairly often and think she's likely texting a bf. That and I'm a below-average looking manlet (5'7") so I don't think my chances would be great anyways.

I'm so god damned lonely at this university. I haven't made a friend in 3 years and I'm not interesting or likable, especially towards girls. No matter what I do I feel completely alienated. I'm just satisfied that I'm healthy and my marks are high.

Also my mother divorced my dad and is fighting tooth and nail for every penny she can get like the parasite she is.

A finer point but I'm learning the guitar and can't tell if I'm not cut out for it or I'm not spending enough time on it.
>>
>>20230875
what university
>>
Some months ago I had to euthanize my cat. That put me in a mood where I'm more conscious about death and loss.
I have this old dog that the vets still give him a good chunk of life remaining. However I'm increasingly anxious about anything that happens to him. I think I'm developing anticipatory grief, combined with the grief of my cat.
I don't want him to die. At the same time I know that's unavoidable and I want him to die now, to get over on this.
The only health issues he has by now is articulations aching and hypotyrodism, both treated and responding well. He probably is only having a bad day, since these days here have been hot. But I'm not feeling well.
Thanks for listening, lads. I appreciate this space to discharge myself.
>>
>>20230443
youre their punching bag leave em
>>
I want to be exclusive. I understand the distance will be hard but I am not one to share my partner. I doubt you'll actually want an open relationship but on the off chance you do, I'm out.
>>
>>20230878
UMass Amherst
>>
I just want to die. Nothing special, just sick of living
>>
I was going 80 miles per hour on a back road and took my hands off the steering wheel for about 5 seconds. What stopped me from crashing is it was my brother's car. I don't really know if this counts as a suicide attempt.
>>
>>20228161
I can think of worse.
>>
Good night, I still love you even though I can't be with you.
>>
I need to say this like now. ive never felt so much like a worthless pathetic excuse of a man or human being than right now. god damn. this hurts I cant explain this.
>>
you don't know how i've missed you. i'm so grateful you're back<3
>>
>>20230492
*hugs* hope you feel better soon anon
>>
>>20231029
Give them a big ol' hug.
>>
what the fuck do I do when you realize that your mom isnt the saint you thought she was and your family is fucked up
>>
>>20231040
fuk em, do everything by yourself for yourself now
>>
I tried to make a new friend because I was horrifically lonely. I had been talking to them for a couple of weeks. They found out my IQ and now they don't want to be friends. It seems everyone I try to be friends with finds a reason to complete disassociate with me. I've had similar shit from people I've known for years. I hate this world so badly. I wish I had the conviction to kill myself.
>>
I'm gonna fuck someone way older than me, she also has kids and a husband. But he cheats on her and shes desperate for dick.
>>
>>20231050
(I) think your a (Q)uality person. It will be okay. :-)
>>
>>20231055
Will it? Because I don't feel ok. I would drag myself to a cliff and stare off the edge but I know full well that I would back out. I know what sort of weak man I am. I'm defeated at life, but don't have the balls to quit. Maybe I'm just a sore loser.
>>
I'm really sick right now.
I wish I had a boyfriend to bring me soup and tell me to get better.
But I'm not worthy of love apparently.
>>
>>20231064
Sorry anon, that sucks. I live at home with my family and they didn't even bring me food when I was borderline bed bound. Literally had to roll out of bed because I couldn't sit up. Try to keep yourself eating and strong.
>>
>>20231036
will do. little longer yet before that gets to happen but you couldn't peel us apart with a crowbar the second we're in reach of each other again. i can't wait.
>>
Yeah, fuck this. It's going to set me back, but I need to switch my major. I don't have the memory to survive these classes. I excel at everything, foreign language included, but I drop the ball consistently in the math department and computer science is math heavy.

I'll be bringing in less money with more debt and time, but I'd be happier doing it anyway.
>>
I love him but he has a girlfriend. I would ride him like a bull, but I could never do it while he isn't single. Why me?
>>
>>20231064
I wish I had a gf I could drink hot cocoa with wearing warm PJs and watching all the movies I never watched growing up for whatever reason.
>>
24yo here, had my first kiss last night, which is awesome, but I felt nothing and wasn't aroused at all even after touching her a lot. She wanted to fuck and I just told her I'm shy to cover up for the fact that I was emotionless and my small dick was limp.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not trolling or trying to be edgy or w/e, I had times like these but I thought I would feel something, anything, when the opportunity would come. Now I don't know what to do, how should I start the conversation with her? She probably thinks she did something wrong or she's not pretty enough or some other shit.
>>
>>20231099
First kiss is an intense emotional affair friend. Ask her to take it slowly, and you lead when you're comfortable. Just be honest, and open.
>>
>>20230926
What is it?
>>
I will leave you alone. I know I don't deserve the second chance. I hope you will be happy.
>>
>>20231168
You deserve happiness too.
>>
>>20231168
What did you do to not deserve a second chance?
>>
>>20231169
>>20231179
I ignored her. She tried to interact with me but all I gave was short replies and read message because I was depressed. I'm the worst.
>>
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I really wish I fit in with you guys but I don't.

I'm akward, I'm a weirdo and honestly the only reason you guys hang around me is because we were on the mangement team.

But, if I'm being completely honest with myself, I don't feel happy around any of you anymore, its such a shallow and a fake relationship with all of you.
Theres maybe one or two of you that I actually care about genuinelly, and I'm sorry I ruined our dynamic when I asked Sarah out on a date, but lets be real, 5 years from now, will you even remember me? What about 10 years? What if one of us dies, would I really be some of the first people that you guys call?

No Im not.
Lets just face the facts.

Its just a club, and I'm just a guy, we're barely friends,and you hardly know me.

Pleaae, just forget about me and move on with your lives, itll be easier for all of us.

The worst feeling I've ever felt is the one where you feel like you don't belong.
>>
I don't want to suffer anymore, although I have to live for everyone.
What even is the point if there's a chance that I'm not gonna live long enough anyway? I may not even be able to find my happiness before I die.
Only living for a few people, and living for a promise that my friend has made, but what if they were to leave by my side soon or vice versa? They're all just gonna replace me soon. I don't want any more promises and false hope.
>>
My whole life feels like it's tumbling in on me. That's all.
>>
>>20231195

As someone in the same minset I have found it helpful to enjoy little things, make little goals, and to practice buddhism. Don't try to find pleasure, don't get attached to material things, try to let go.
>>
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>be on-call for a week
>don't get called at all
>next person gets called almost immediately as soon as their regular shift ends
>second time this has happened
>>
I got a lot going on, but there's one thing I just want to get out for right now.

I don't know why I can't stand one of my friends at this point. It's been like this for quite a while now. He just exhibits so many traits that I hate, and I feel like I have to make mental excuses and justifications to avoid being frustrated with his shit. I spend so much more mental energy trying to be rational, trying to see that what he does isn't so different than what my friends or I do, yet somehow the way he acts is just so much worse. I can't stand it, and I just want to call him out so hard on his BS, but I know I won't be able to get it out constructively.

And building on that, I'm not happy that I'm more willing to let my silent disharmony fester than at least make an attempt to remedy this, because I'm not sure if it means that I even want to try to get along with him. Christ.
>>
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(1)
I'm struggling with my first and only relationship because I want out but I feel like I'm trapped in it, partially because I feel like I can't hurt my gf after being together for 3 years and don't think she could cope, but also because I'm not entirely unhappy.
The main problems are;
I spend every weekend with her and I'm drifting away from my friends
If I disagree with her she gets angry and says I always disagree with her
I always make excuses for things (this is probably partly my fault since I give reasons, i.e. "well part of the reason I put on a bit of weight probably has something to do with eating out a few times during the week". Although this is probably annoying and me being autistic)
She believes the guy in a relationship should be super manly and be ripped and super assertive (none of which I am). This is also a pain for sex because I'm the submissive type but I have to hide that away because she believes guys should all be Christian Grey and I should dom her.
We don't really have a great deal in common since our interests are different. A few of my interests such as cars she actually puts me down for, calling it stupid (I think this borders on abusive probably idk)
I'm currently realising my sexuality isn't 100% straight and there's just no way it will go down well if I tell her that
>>
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(2)
If there's ever an event on that is be interested in doing, it's always something she's not interested in, and I always get so anxious about telling her about it and that I won't see her that weekend until about 4 days before the weekend it's happening. She then gets angry and just gives one word replies for a week and makes angry, vague Facebook posts in Chinese (she's from Hong Kong). Which has led me to pretty much spend every weekend seeing her and making excuses when there's things going on. The worst is when a friend invites me to something on a weekend a day before and I just give an excuse.

So those are pretty much all the reasons, the problem is that despite it all when I see her look genuinely happy it melts my heart, but most of the rest of the time I'm not happy myself.

Everything about this screams "get out", but I just feel like I can't.
>>
>>20231207
The only real goal I have left is to never break the promise I've made with my friend, which is to meet him someday.
I'm stuck here with my poor, abusive family, and the fact that I have a terminal illness makes it harder for me to get out of here. Every waking hour feels miserable, but I'm trying my best not to give up.
I'm still trying to enjoy things as long as possible, even if it's getting harder for me to do so, but thank you.
>>
Nightmares for 4 nights in a row now. Spine chilling stuff. Strange music plays as some kind of thing approaches. Can't sleep.
>>
I haven't felt anything for 3 days. I don't understand what's happening. I don't know if I should completely isolate myself to try and get myself to focus on getting help or try to deal with it alone. I've dealt with everything all alone for years.
>>
>>20231225
Isolation/Avoidance is my coping mechanism, and while I thought of the same thing as " dealing with it alone ", it took me years to figure out that I should finally get help, and I think it's something you should do as well.
Dealing with everything alone for a very long time has damaged be both mentally and emotionally, don't let it happen to you as well.
>>
>>20231231
I'm scared of seeking help. I'm going to try to get into the process of scheduling something today. I need to find something that works.
>>
I'm really fucked up in the head
I wish I didn't hate everyone so much
I just want someone to love
Too much to ask for these days
>>
>be driving
>be at stop sign
>see little doggie
>wish he would gtfo the so he doesnt get killed
>drive back same intersection a while later
>same doggo is dead in street
my heart hurts anons i feel like i should have picked him up and drove him somewhere safe but i figured he was okay because he was dodging my car
>>
I can't really seem to read you.
What does it mean that you have my number blocked for a month then ask to hang out, at which point we talk for an hour with you opening up to me about your past and inadequacies and ends with a hug but you still won't text me?
Are we going to end up as memories?
>>
>>20231304
I'm sorry anon. Unfortunately we can't help everyone. Dunno, you can go buy some dog food and donate it to your local shelter. Might make you feel better.
>>
>>20228120

Keke normies
>>
seeking help is so draining. I spent my day at hospital tryna figure out what's wrong with me. not a fun way to spend a saturday
>>
>>20228211

These were the exact thoughts I had. I was willing to endure it all just for those sunny days back. Just to feel her as I once did before.

We ended breaking up and cutting eachother off.

I miss her a lot

Hooe you make it through anon! If it is worth it, take the bullet. But don't destroy yourself over someone else. You deserve your love more than anyone
>>
>>20230318
Dunno, I bought it for about 300 Euros plus shipping.
>>
The first and only person who ever treated me like a genuine best friend. It aint shit to you now, but I'm still grateful for that. had an impact.
>>
"Most people that say they don't want to talk about politics just know they'd lose an argument."

No, you fucking mongoloid, I said we shouldn't talk about politics because we disagree with each other and I don't want to start a political debate at my boyfriend's birthday dinner. Are you autistic or just that much of an inconsiderate asshole? I kept having to talk around you and lighten the mood the whole time because of how socially clueless and verbally combative you are. I'm not surprised your exgf left you, you are an abrasive manbaby inside and out, I can barely stand being around you for a few hours every few weeks, that girl was a saint to put up with you so long. If she knew you shared her nudes with everybody in your friend group I bet she would've dumped you sooner. Also you smell like shit and your job is pathetic. Also fuck you.
>>
Last night my feral boy cat scratched on my door again and I let him in.

He’s gone but I can still feel him. I’m the luckiest crazy cat lady alive.
>>
i did a lot of really spergy things to one of my female online friends that i had a crush on, and it hurt her a lot.

we are still really good friends now, but i don't know how to live with the shame, and i can't shake the feeling that she kinda hates me but wouldn't admit it
>>
visited my exgf yesterday to talk about what she couldn't remember about the party we made out and talked at
she was more afraid of the fact that she didn't remember stuff, than that she told me crying she'd slept with someone else

then she told me someone else told her he loved her, i should promise her not to tell anyone (me? as her ex?)
told me she doesn' know what she wants
we made out during the couple of hours
asked her if i could sleep at her place cause she needed to work the next day
she agreed
but pulled out because she "knows how she is and she needs sleep"
so i left

i should leave this girl alone right? right
>>
>>20231564
yeah, she seems pretty confused ,best to leave her alone for now
>>
>>20231666
>trips of truth
yeah well, i'll have to
meanwhile she's fucking with that other guy
i'm somewhere between grossed the fuck out and god damn i miss being with her

ugh
>>
In an attempt to cure myself of Oneitis, I took the medicine offered by another
and it made me sicker.
Now this One has eclipsed the other
and I may never recover.
My mouth waters in a perpetual thirst
As though he was the very first
>>
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I was in highschool. Class was divided in three groups of friends. Fell in love with one boy from class. Whole class knew because of one day during school job (Irrelevant story). Here it began. First group refused to talk to me, because I am a male. Second refused because I was faggot. Third one because said boy was the most popular in it. I started to slowly give up on human interaction despite other hobbies (mainly volleyball, literature, video games,...), friends from dorm and family. Now I am in second year in University and I still lack any social skills like reading other peoples moods. It is so bad that even that one girl I managed to befriend is scared of me for some reason unknown to me (not the only case of that) and I am incapable of finding why). My hobbies turned into unproductive ones (browsing internet for hours, binge-eating, fap). I am trying to keep myself on the track by going to the gym three times a week and aiming for high grades. But I lack drive that i used to have. Because of him...
Since I learned that I do not have to do anything to make him happy (or more like "not trying to contact him and let him live how he wants"), I somehow persuaded myself that the same thing applies to me. But that is not the case for I a know what makes me happy is simply being productive or being of use to others.
Now I do not even know what I even want. Be able to know that he is living a happy life, or to live my life to the fullest...

Pic unrelated
>>
Don't worry I'll be back to hating you when we move and he flips out for awhile until we adjust to our new life. I think I'll be over all of it completely in about a year maybe two.
>>
Everyone is so paranoid. It gets me even more paranoid. Stop worrying, God damn it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ5Mu2gs-M8
>>
I think you’re trying to get me to block you. I won’t... I can’t.
If you don’t want to talk anymore then I understand and I don’t want you to talk. I love you but if you’re unhappy then you should leave because I don’t want to cause you unnecessary stress or trouble. Never that.
I’ll always be here for you, tho. I wasn’t lying when i said that I feel I owe you. I owe you more than you can ever know.
>>
>>20231975
Thank you
>>
>>20231984
<3
>>
I can't take it anymore. I have no place that feels like home, no people that feel like true friends, no job I take pride in, no future to look forward to. I think it's time I stop over staying my welcome. Thank you /adv/ for listening to the very few times I posted instead of lurked. It has made life fun sometimes.
>>
To the guy who likes rainy days

I keep going back and forth between what you said to me in an emotional moment to make me feel this way and why you feel too ashamed to see me, to realizing my own shortcomings and appreciating that you always want what's best for me and are fighting your desire to see me with what is best for me. A part of me feels resentful, another part guilt, and yet another longing for you.

I don't really know what to do or how to feel. I'm working on myself. But I still... miss you. I'll keep holding onto the gift you gave me years ago, the photo of you being adorable, and the voice message for my bday last year. I guess it's all I have left. You've been in my heart for 6 years but I have seen you only 1% in all this time. It's bittersweet.
>>
>>20231999
Stick around. You don't know what breakthrough will happen next. It can get better.
>>
>>20232035
I just can't believe that anymore. People tell me "You can get through this" or "Things will get better" but I've been in nothing but pain the past 3 years hanging on. If I didn't daydream constantly I don't know if I would have even made it that long.
>>
>>20232054
Why can’t you talk to him instead of posting here?
>>
>>20232067
>Talk to him
I think you've got me mixed up with someone else.
>>
>>20232054
3 solid years? At this point you'll probably need medication to help get out of this.

When stressed emotionally this releases certain brain chemicals and temporarily interferes with healthy chemistry. Once the event is over and you can return to baseline, you bounce back and are resilient.

But if the negative emotional stress lasts constant for a longer period, the temporary change can have a more permanent effect. You then need the help of chemicals to balance back. Once balanced for a certain time, then your doctor can see about weaning off of it and then hopefully you can maintain it yourself.

Please don't give up without seeking professional help first.
>>
>>20232080
I got put on a 20 mg dose of anti anxiety meds 2 months ago. Are you talking about that kind of medication or more?
>>
Why can’t you love me? What’s so wrong with me? I feel so close to you.
>>
>>20232087
Is it helping anxiety? If you're feeling hopeless you might need to look into depression meds. Or if the antianxiety is also supposed to help the depression maybe you need to try another one.
Usually just medications don't work, it needs to be accompanied with psychotherapy to address the issues that triggered the problems to begin with.
>>
>>20232087
>>20232099

Hey anon I have the same issues as you and this person is right. Even a small imbalance affects your mind. My mood improves instantly after just eating or drinking water, and taking vitamins. Making sure I am healthy in my body helps my mind.

Try to see things from other perspectives. Things might be horrible, until you view them differently. The world is your attitude and your health. You don't have to suffer and you don't have to blame yourself for not recovering soon enough. Love yourself more even when it's hard. I totally know what this sounds like from another person but I'll say it anyway.
>>
>>20232099
It helps the anxiety but not the hopelessness. I want to try but I don't know where to turn. My old therapist died a few years back and he was the only one that really clicked with me. I can try looking around the area. Believe me, I want to live, but it feels so hard to.
>>
With frizzy hair, and green eyed stare,
For none but you is of my care,
vraiment my heart is yours and so I share.
So bearing space, i say i dare:
to breach these miles between us
my lady-fair.
>>
>girl tries to make me jealous with another man
>gives me the silent treatment
>I immediately lose respect and all feelings for her and walk away
Did I fuck up?
>>
R, please talk to me
>>
My favorite part about dating is the feeling of loneliness and how good my favorite songs sound
>>
Since when did self-improvement become a code word for "I'm a huge asshole"?
>>
Linking park
are my favourite band
I like to listen to them
while having sex0rz with my hand
>>
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How do I remove this fucking scratch on my Stainless Steel antifingerprint coated refrigerator??? God, I'm so stupid...
>>
Tomorrow is 11/11. I have the feeling that it will be a good day.
I remember last year's 11/11, I had a great time with my crush... until 12 AM when I completely fucked up.
>>
How the fuck are people so okay with the fact that we exist? How are they so content, how can they take it for granted, how do can they accept "existing" as a normal part of life?
How do I move on from my existential doubts? I can't stop thinking that the fact that we exist means we should stop doing all the mundane shit we all do and all get together and don't stop until we figure out why and how we exist.
I know this is fucking stupid but I don't know how to get over it, and it's worse when I end up thinking that maybe it's not that I need to move ahead, but that I'm already ahead of the average people who don't care about why or how we exist, at all.
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I'm a pathetic loser. I've tried my best but I didn't take college serious. I tried the military but they rejected me right before grad. I was married to a cunt, had a baby with another, and I'm trying to hard to control my urges and anger. I resent what I've become, a drug addict, a thief, liar, i barely get by for myself, let alone for an unemployed girlfriend and baby. I want to killmyself, I dont want these expectations or standards, but I'm the only Male in my family so they keep me around for handy work or labor or babysitting. I'm somewhat needed for my services and to be honest, I'd have already tried to OD again if it wasnt for my child. I want to change, I want a better job instead of dishwashing, I want a better life for my family. I'm just a loser
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>>20232177
Better questions are why she felt the need to make you feel jealous, how she thought you would react to being jealous, and what she accomplished by ignoring you?

Seems like she feels you only show you care when she is unavailable. Eventually this will end in losses for both parties- if you do in fact care for her, and her when the unavailability sticks and if she does not truly care about who with.
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This is just a greasy spoon without you...
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>>20232227
Nothing's worse than scratches on metal.
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>>20232280
I honestly think she was over me and trying to piss me off enough for me to leave her alone. It worked
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>>20232352
What kinda saying is that?
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>>20232379
So what’s the problem? Why do you care?
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>>20232395
A part of me misses her
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>>20232177
No man, it's a classic narcissist bitch move.
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>>20232403
Lol, everyone could do that.
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>>20227640
I know it was partially my fault for believing that something could happen after you told me you don't care about anyone. But why then did you spend an entire summer talking to me and calling me perfect. Why did you become obsessed with me sexually and constantly beg me to fuck you. Every time I tried breaking things off so I didn't develop serious feelings, you would message me constantly trying to start conversations or begging for a hookup. Yet at the end of it all, you don't wanna talk to me anymore. It was all just a fling. I'm extremely fucking bitter. If you new you couldn't handle something serious you should've let me leave before it got serious. Or maybe you should grow the fuck up and realize every relationship you have isn't going to end up tragic like your first bf.
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>>20232391
Sponge Bob
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>>20232419
cool lol
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>>20228987
I feel like you're a really good friend to me, and I miss talking to you. Nothing more is there, really.
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>>20232413
No.
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>>20232443
Yes.
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Uncomfortable... I would hope if you continue to show up at my place of employment you somehow gain some female balls to spit out whatever you need to say. Be wary, you might be fucking crazy but I will defend myself if need be. The difference between you and I, I wasn't born with a gold spoon up my ass, nor have I had immense coddling and support from my parents. I do not blame my actions on others or my illness. Know what you're walking into, there is no sympathy for you here. Best Regards.
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>>20232450
Tells you a lot about your social circle, then.
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>>20232452
Oh shit! Where u work at? I kinda wanna stop by now;)
Steamy regards
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>exgf told me she's there for a colleague of hers because said colleagues exgf was getting some things after breaking up after 5 years
>exgf told me someone els told her that he loves her
>exgf tells me she's confused and doesn't know what she wants

had never imagined her to be such a huge slut...holy hell hole what the fuck
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>>20232401
Look at the facts. She did not feel you missed her and rather than dwelling, devoted her time to someone else. You chose to not step up, passed up the opportunity to tell her being with someone else made you uncomfortable, and then you chose to shut her out of your life. Fact is, if something real was developing between you two, as mature adults, none of this jealousy and ghosting game shit would have happened.

So you are either regretfully missing the attention she afforded you (could be selfishly or not- idk), or you are feeling wounded because she found someone better than you. And yes, any guy who she dates is better than you because he did tell her he missed her.

Stop being a wallowing wanker, figure out what you want, and be a mature adult about it.
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>>20232403
A mature woman who is happy would never do this. It is a stupid, childish behavior but do not negate the fact something was missing.
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>>20232452
Fuck off with your best regards. Stupid shit
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>>20232481
>Look at the facts
>proceeds to spew assumptions
I like your blaming posture but I am not the guy who hurt you
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>>20232489
You're been duped, my friend. She's happy because she found her self an orbiter. Narcissist don't show their negative side to the public.
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Why am I getting jealous of you?
I don't want you to move in with that guy.
I want to date you.
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>>20232493
Please, provide me some unforeseen wisdom as to why else one would miss someone when they chose to remove them from their life to begin with.
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>>20232503
Why would she need another if she already had one? And if she only wanted an orbiter, why is she missed?
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>>20232510
One is never enough. The confusion you feel? That's her goal to make you emotionally vulnerable and easier to control.
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>>20232507
What? I miss most people I've known if I loved them at one time. You can walk away from a relationship and miss someone, even if they mistreated you or otherwise had irreconcilable differences
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>>20232510
Narcissists keep harems of the opposite sex and rotate them to fulfill their narcissistic supply requirements. They also have a main supply source which they also rotate out or discard completely and they usually do this through triangulation by introducing a third-party into the relationship dynamic.
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>>20232438
If you miss it then why won’t you talk?
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>when the guy who beat you down for a FWB relationship is mad you don't want to see him unless it's for fuck
>even after demanding i don't get clingy and fall in love with him
>even after declaring I most definitely wasn't his type for dating
>even after saying don't call unless it's for fuck
>tfw instead of admitting he wants more than sex he just wants to trick you into being some part time gf
>tfw he's acting like a jilted lover for leaving in the middle of a double date he never told me was happening until i got there
>tfw he still won't admit he caught the feels
>tfw "just sex" shouldn't be this complicated
>tfw if he just said he wants to be more with me instead of trying to ruse cruise me so he doesn't have to admit he was a douche, i'd give it a go
I kinda wish I stuck to my feelless toys.
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No more bras. Free boobing is the next fashion trend.
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>>20232522
And what is it about them that you miss exactly?
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>>20232727
Not him but it's not difficult to see why he misses her.

Triangulation and silent treatment are offensive tactics often applied by people on the narcissistic side of the spectrum and his natural reaction to these tactics was to run and avoid further pain from this offense.

People who are subject to this type of abuse will often have to deal with a trauma bond to the narcissist which causes them to still have feelings for their abuser. Depending on the intensity and the severity of this bond between the narcissist and her supply this bond could take years to overcome.

Your attempt to blame and shame the OP for his natural reaction to an abusive situation is only fueling this trauma bond.
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>>20232601
True.
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>>20232458
It sure does.
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>>20232823
It’s normal to have narcissistic traits.
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>>20232892
That doesn't mean it's okay.
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>>20232352
Aww cute.
Still, I'm not coming back there.
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>>20232904
No, it doesn’t.
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>>20232892
Every expression of humanity is normal because we each express an aspect of the collective unconscious. Humanity is capable of the darkest darkness and the lightest lights and everything in-between, all of it is normal.

Narcissism is apart of the shadow self which I believe is best described by C.G. Jung, and it is indeed a normal expression of humanity but if the evil isn't integrated, so to speak, this shadow self will overcome the conscious mind and cause pain for those it encounters as well as itself.
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>>20232601
TESTIFY!

JUST broke free from this as a main source supply earlier this year. But he was sociopath narcissist and extremely dangerous
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>>20232947
Beautifully written
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i'm realizing the real center of life is just suffering. people think it's happiness but it's not. it feels like it comes once fully and never again. holy hell, we spend most of our time suffering, do we even know happiness? suffering is the real omnipotent god, the vehicle for creative expression, and the difference between something alive and a rock. only what is alive can bleed. i better start befriending suffering instead of hoping for happiness, health, every majestic feeling people pray for - i'm getting more and more convinced it's something i am not going to receive.
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I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday because of her religion. She said to me that she couldn't have intimacy until we get married and that she knew that I probably could not stand it. She started with this religion like 6 months ago and she slowly changed to this, I'm so fucking sad, neither of us wanted it to be over, but our priorities were incompatible. I don't know what the hell should I do man, it didn't have to end this way
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>>20233044
I don't think so. I think perspective has a lot to do with suffering though. Children in concentration camps were found to be playing and being happy. Prisoners of war have testified how they kept their hope alive and spirits up. There are people in third world countries with NOTHING and yet can still find happiness and peace.
Most of our suffering is self inflicted.
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I've never felt so unwelcome.
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>>20232229
What did you do anon
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>>20233078
Eh screw 'em. Their loss.
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I’ve prayed to God so many times to help me do his will. I don’t know what im supposed to do. I’m aimless, lazy and clueless. I’m afraid and I feel worthless. I’m so depressed... I feel empty. Maybe there is no God.
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>>20233006
Lol.
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>>20233105
Thanks Anon.
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>>20233128
Maybe
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I swear the people I've met in my life who say shit along the lines of "People never change." Turn out to be some of the most manipulative evil fuckers I've know.
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>>20233128
Um if you're waiting to hear a voice tell you what to do, it doesn't work that way. And if it does, there's a name for that condition and medication to help.
I think God just designs us for what we're supposed to do. When we love what we do and how we live our lives, that's a good indicator we're on the right track.





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