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Old thread >>9611175

It's Halloween season. Is your Comm doing a big Halloween meetup?
>>
yes, and i can already predict that there will be so many moms
>>
lonelita here, anyone want to share juicy comm drama just so i can feel less alone?
>>
Maybe more of an online comm thread question but we don't have one of those going and it involves someone from my comm, so here goes. What does it mean when FB sends me a notification like
>Anon, did you see [name]'s comment on [post]?
?
In my many years on Facebook I've never seen this before. It points me to a random post from some page I'm not even following, and I'm not tagged in it or anything like that. Considering the person in question and their desperation for e-fame it wouldn't surprise me at all if this were some kind of paid notification/promotion nonsense but I can't find anything about that online. There's no reason for the page to even know I exist, so I'm suspecting the person who left the comment.
>>
>>9648542
I suppose the page paid promotion so they're spamming everyone's notifications. They used that person specially but it could be anyone connected to you. My guess is that the algorithms may have assumed that this content would be interesting to you somehow because of that friendship.
>>
>halloween meetup is scheduled somewhat
>no one's organizing it properly
>I have nothing to wear
This may be a bit of a fiasco.
What do your comms do (outfit-wise) for Halloween anons? "Costume" themed (going as a pirate, ghost, whatever) or more gothy coords?
>>
>>9644308
This this this! And even the ones who do say they're going to come on that date then cancel literally last fucking minute. It's always the same people, too. But you can't say anything about that because that's 'bullying' and 'causing drama'. But pushing for a date that a lot of other people can't come and then standing up the host isn't causing drama?
>>
I've been a lolita for about 3 years now but only a comm member for two.

Have yet to go to a Halloween meet due to Kumoricon.
I hear they're getting a Baby fashion show tho so that's cool.
>>
>Halloween meet is already sold out
>none of the itas or cringy people snagged a spot
aw yiss
>>
>Halloween meet tickets were sold out
>"Aww, that's sad, but I guess I can book a flight to see my boyfriend that weekend"
>Suddenly a spot is available

Goddamnit, I could've had both if only I waited to book the flight!
>>
Im trying really hard to throw together a meet we can be proud of, but I need some of the other girls to contribute (not money or anything) and no matter how many times I try to ask them to please help they just wont budge.

I dont know what to do and its looking like I will have to scrap the idea for now.

They said they were interested in the idea, but nobody (besides 2) actually wants to help make it happen.

Its a little frustrating.
>>
>girl in the comm hosting a fun sounding themed halloween meetup
>$20 per ticket
>20 going
>at her house
>litterally zero details on what the money is going towards

It sounds really fun and i want to go but i can not imagine what she could possibly be doing with $400+ for a meetup at her own home, but a bunch of people have allready paid despite having zero detIls avalible. I dont mind paying for a nice meetup, but i dont want my money going towards lining this girls pockets for more lolita.
>>
>>9648739
I'm pretty sure you're in the same comm as me, but I think the whole admission fee just to go to a meetup at her house is really sketchy as well. I'm really hoping she's at least throwing together some sort of gift bags.
>>
>>9648739
If it's the murder mystery, I think she said the money is for food and goodie bags. It was awhile ago that it was said so it might be hidden in a post.
>>
Yes my community is, but its full of hard hating Liberals, and im too much of a faggot to get over my own political alignment to ignore them and focus on having fun.
>>
>>9648624
Same, after a couple of meets with weirdos it is so nice not to worry about the group pictures or sitting at a table with cringy people trying to one up each other with who the saddest person is.
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>>9648782
They’ll be happier without your presence surely.
>>
>>9648739
>>9648754
I was worried at first, im trying to throw a mystery murder for my comms meet that would be at my house, thought this was about me but Im not charging anything for it.

Hope it goes well though! Im in a bind of needing 5 actors and not having enough willing participants to fill those roles.
>>
>>9648739
If it's the murder mystery meet, I've been thinking the same thing and I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I wanted to ask the host(s) what the money was going toward but I thought it would be too rude and I'd be accused of being cheap.

I tried to put myself in their shoes and create a breakdown (assuming 26 girls go), but I can't see how $520 could go toward gift bags, food for 26 girls, props/printing cards for the murder mystery?

I'm really interested, I'm sure the hosts are working hard but I can't wrap my head around that and there have been no details to what the money is going toward so I haven't decided.
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>>9648872
Burando goddie bags? I cant imagine spending over 200 for food.
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>>9648872
Food per person can be pricey. If it’s 20 per that’s 520 for 26 people. Since it is at a home it hopefully is less, but buying ingredients to make enough can be a lot. Or like even if it’s 10 per for 260$, if you put 10 per for gift bags that ends up being 520 as well. There is also any decorations, props or whatever that may be bought or made for it too. Don’t assume it’s for profit just because you can’t do the numbers. They aren’t required to break down what they are doing for you to have a good time, and it’s better to wait until you see it before nitpicking on where the money went.
>>
>>9648885
Nayrt but no need to be nasty. Sounds like your first time hosting a ticketed event but its pretty common to have a breakdown of what the price of your ticket goes towards. I would want to know why im being charged to go to your house
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>>9648739
Anon, This was her post when the invites went out. Can none of you read?

"Hi everyone, the ticket price for the event is going to be $20 to include the cost of dinner and goody bags."
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>>9648885
Nayrt but you seem mad

The hosts are not required to break it down, but it would make it a lot less questionable and more girls would probably be more willing to go. It doesn't look credible with no details, which seems to be case here. I personally would want to know why they're charging $20 to go to someone's house, hosts aren't renting a venue.
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>>9648894
No one on the internet can read anon!
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>>9648885
Even if its at their house, she's still renting her home out to the comm as well as spending her time preparing for the event. It's not a profit when you're investing your own time/effort in to create a large event.
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>>9648908
Anon...you dont pay yourself when you volunteer your home for a meetup...
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>>9648926
>time/effort
please read
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>>9648927
>you dont pay yourself when you volunteer your home for a meetup
Please read
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>>9648888
It isn’t my event, i don’t even have a comm. it is very easy to do some basic math to see how things add up. Also from >>9648894 there were some indication on what was going on with the money. It isn’t that there is no details, you guys just suck at understanding costs.
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>>9648950
found the host
>>
God I am yet to see a single thread not derailed with idiotic shit-slinging.

My comm hasn't announced a central Halloween meet yet, but we already have a bunch of other stuff planned, an afterparty hangout at my place after a con this weekend, next week we're going to a spooky bar on Friday the 13th and having a nun-themed meet the following weekend. To top it off, the local cosplay comm is having a Halloween party on November 6th, so even if Halloween itself doesn't work out I'm good!
>>
>>9648739
Glad I'm not the only one wondering this....it sucks because I love Halloween meet ups and I have a super cute coordinate planned, but this seems super sketchy.

Also, isn't this the same chick who threw the super lame Christmas meet last year at her parents house? The one who told people they'd need to bring their own chairs?
>>
>>9649336
Forgot about that. Yeah, I think so. If that's the case, where is everyone supposed to sit if it's a sit down dinner?
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>>9649477
My bet is that she will have some guests sitting with their plates on their laps and just dismiss it with a "this is fine" attitude.

This thread convinced me not to go
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>>9649336
The christmas meet was very casual and lasr minute, whereas the halloween meet has had a couple months of planning. Her home was very spacious and nice, its not like a run down tiny ass shithole.

Maybe some of that money y'all are bitching about is gonna go to chair rentals.
>>
>>9649775
Honestly I have no local involvement with this but you should just ask what the money is for, say you're on a tight budget or something. If she bitches at you it's probably not worth it anyway.
>>
>>9649775
Why are you so defensive anon-kun? The reason her last meet up was brought up was to show she has hosted a shitty meet before. AT HER HOUSE.

Personally, I don't think most meets should be at houses in the first place unless you live in some huge mansion or something. They're always cramped and awkward, especially if you live with your parents. This chick is too young and naive to host a successful meet.
>>
From what I can understand, the groups are nearly only lolita based, right?

Kind of a bummer, wish there was a Boston group that's more cosplay focused. Brainstorming and sharing ideas would be pretty dope.
>>
>>9649930
Oh there are Boston cosplay groups. You just don't want to have anything to do with them, trust me.
The boston comm is lolita focused although we do have cosplayers.
>>
>>9649930
Lolita communities are lolita-based, yes. You might have more success with cosplay communities.
>>
>>9649910
> too young
She's 21.
> too naive
Well you're not wrong about that.
>>
>>9649999
>>9650024

Alrighty, thanks for the answers. I'm already spooked by most people that are "passionate" about anime, especially the ones at my college's anime club. Definitely going to tread a little lighter then.

And yeah, I get that lolita communities are lolita-based, I just don't know of a way to get into the local cosplay community. Is it a facebook group or something?
>>
>>9648548
it's a bit of a mix here, you'll have the costume themed princess, doll, witch coords etc but then also a decent mix of general halloween aesthetic gothic and spooky sweet too
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>>9649910
I was at the Christmas meet, her parents house is on the rich side of town, it's decently sized and clean, I can't complain. They are #blessed
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>>9648649
I find that rather than asking people what they can contribute, you've gotta make a checklist kind of thing and make it so in order to attend they have to sign up for one of said things, just like you would at a potluck. If you need someone bringing, say, decorations, don't just say "can ppl bring decorations?", you need to literally put "bring X coloured streamers, bring this sort of tablecloth" and just let people pick which one on the list they're comfortable contributing to. That way the stuff gets done, they feel like they had a choice/say in it and not everyone's sitting on their heels waiting for someone else to take initiative
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>>9650297
So #blessed that they needed people to bring their own chairs because they didn't have enough seating?
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>>9650305
Thanks for the advice! I feel like im being too much of a pushover when I try to plan things. I want them to have fun, but im scared to be like "you HAVE to do this"

Im not really buddy buddy with anyone in my comm so I dont want to come off as a bitch and alienate myself.

I dont want to exclude anyone, and I know I cant please everyone, but damn it I try.
>>
>>9650247
One of the anon's you replied to. I'm a lolita unfortunately so I don't actually know how to best get in but they have a lot of public cosplay events and from what I understand that's how to get in when Anime Boston isn't happening. I just also happen to know that the group that runs a lot of the events are unpleasant to deal with. I wish I was a cosplayer and college age then I'd be more able to help a fellow Bostonian better.
>>
>>9650359
Who do you know that has 30+ chairs at any given time at their house? Perhaps she shouldn't have asked guests to bring chairs, but there was enough seating, I personally am not sure who ended up supplying chairs.

I don't really care for S but I'm not going act nitpicky, it's not as if her parents house is inconvenient to host a meet at.
>>
Shit, at least you have people who want to host meets. Nobody in my comm is stepping up and hosting anything and I can't because I'm busy.
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>>9650507
You're really defending her tooth and nail for not liking her
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>>9650623
nayrt but that doesn't at all sound like defending tooth and nail
>>
What is the etiquette in most comms when it comes to discussing finances? I don't think we shouldn't mention money ever, but there are a few girls in my comm who I feel cross the line of polite conversation too often. A few of them whine about everything being expensive and go "oh I could never afford that" literally every time anyone mentions anything from a Japanese brand. Others are always talking about getting things for as cheap as possible, to the point of rubbing it in people's faces when they paid less than someone else for the same item. Last meet I was at a girl was wearing a dress she pre-ordered from the brand itself and another girl started talking about how she saw that cut and colorway go for very cheap online and "sucks that you paid full price for that, haha!" It was the first time they met, so it wasn't like banter between friends. Am I alone in thinking this is super rude?
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>>9650530
We have so many girls like you in our comm. They're all "too busy" but can't fathom that anyone else is busy, too, and so can't host a meet either. Then they throw temper tantrums about it. Why don't you "step up," anon?
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>>9650918
It's definitely rude. Is your comm full of underage girls? Please don't tell me actual adults act this way (I say even though there are a few grown women like this in my comm)
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>>9650918
Not just you. That's incredibly tacky. Like I can understand being excited about finding a great deal on something but there's no acceptable reason at all to start comparisons or get all high and mighty about it
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>>9650297
And that's worth paying for? When I have my comm over to my house, I don't charge. They bring sweets and I provide light food, it's not expensive at all. I rarely spend more than 40$ to feed them
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>>9648739
>>9648752
>>9648872
>>9649336

Holy shit! Ya'll having a hissy over $20.......

That is legitimately nothing when it comes to catering, decorations/hire and any take home gifts or prizes that may come with the meet.

If shes actually going to put a lot of effort into the menu and make it all herself she should actually be charging more to cover costs.

The fact that she is having it at her house and you're not having to split venue hire on top is already saving you cheapskates money!

I feel really sorry for your host.

I hope she serves you all KFC.
>>
>>9650924
All >20.

>>9650926
Yeah I don't mind talking about good deals either, but rubbing it in the face of someone who paid full price (and so supported the brand directly) is super tacky. Even if someone overpaid by buying from an overpriced reseller or something you tell them this in private so they can make better decisions in the future, you don't mock them in front of half the comm. The one time I asked someone to tone it down they got offended and said "well I'm just being honest!" But there's a difference between being honest and being rude.
>>
>>9650922
I've actually hosted every meet for the last ten months, hahahaha. I am actually busy for the next month because I have midterms.
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>>9648739
wow, I thought about charging a ticket fee for the halloween meet I am hosting at my house. Even with a potluck, there are people who will not bring anything or contribute. Hosting a party can get extremely expensive, be a stingy bitch and dont go~
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>>9650918
no, it's super rude to talk about money at all imo unless it's a simple statement like "snagged it for a good price, i'm really happy!" i joined the local lolita comm when i was 17 and select members kept asking me how i afforded stuff and it was really embarrassing to be singled out. like... working. working is how i afford stuff.
>>
>when an over enthusiastic newbie spams the group with stupid questions
>"How do I remove makeup if I can only wear it on the weekends???????"
>>
>>9651101

I feel you, anon.
>>
>Managed to snag one of the last tickets for the comms Halloween event
>Feel dumb for procrastinating so long, but happy it all worked out regardless

To my knowledge this is our first time (at least in a LONG time) of hosting an organized, ticketed event at a rented venue. I'm really proud of the organizer for pulling it off, and hoping everything goes well. Now the dread of trying to figure out what to wear sets in...
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>>9651146
If this is my comm, this is the very first ticketed event that isn't at a convention, I'm really excited how far we've gotten! The group of ladies who are working on putting this together really stepped up their game.
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>>9650931
I'm not even planning on going, so good luck with that.
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>>9651078
My comm will ask me how much I spent on every single dress I wear out and constantly comment to me, "I could NEVER spend that much money on this stuff!" It's fine to be thrifty but I appreciate Japanese brands because they're what inspired this entire subculture, of course I want to support and represent them.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong about asking about dress prices since it can be a good conversation starter, or a general topic to chat about but the reactions I get are starting to feel shame-y and IDK what to say to them
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>>9651101
What does this even mean
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>>9651238
I don't know what's going on because it's not from my comm and I don't know the newbie, but if I had to guess, it's a simple explanation. Either:

>My job/school/lifestyle means I don't wear makeup most of the time, but I wear it for events and meets. I'm also inexperienced and too stupid to look things up for myself!
>I'm a boy and I think it's cute to show people how dumb I am when it comes to traditionally feminine things! Please like me and accept me as one of your own!
>>
>>9650918
majority of the comm at least regulars are over 25 so generally we dont talk about dress costs. Unless its a steal. A friend got Cats tea party for basically half the going rate because she was good friends with the seller. The only other time i heard money or financial situations mentioned was a few of us talking about wanting to go out of country for a trip together but not being able to swing it for two years because rufflecon is across country.
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>>9650931
Woah, settle down. This was just a few people who were saying this. Good deal of us already paid before this shit show. The people complaining are more likely to not come anyway.
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>>9650931
>acting like I wouldn't enjoy KFC
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>>9651243
Ya, I don't wear make up regularly outside of lolita/cosplay either. Doesn't mean I don't know what make up wipes or a washcloth is.
>>
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>woman on the far right overcharges Bodyline items in her store and at the local con
>girls think she's the only option around especially for plus size
>I'm a cunt because I point this out to my "friend" who's friends with her
Whatever. I wanna go to see this glorious shit show.
>>
>>9651348
Forgot to add. This is the only Halloween meetup my local "group" is doing.
>>
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>>9650931
>No chill

What do you have against the Colonel?
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>>9651101
Same comm, I wonder why these newbies are allowed to spam the group. We got a question topic, because members pointed out this was annoying.
But to be honest, I have the feeling that the current mods aren’t really that active in the comm.
>>
>>9651238
>>9651243
Yeah, mostly the first. Apparently she can't wear makeup or nail polish to work but wants to wear them on the weekends, so she needs us to spoonfeed her information about how to remove makeup and nail polish "fast"... so at the end of the day, like you normally do (for makeup, anyway). She wears makeup for cosplay, so you'd think she knows how to remove it. Apparently not.
Don't ask me how this is lolita-related or deserves its own thread in a lolita community because I don't know, either.

>>9651671
With our mods I always feel like they want to be seen as nice and inclusive and so it takes a lot of annoyance and rule-breaking before they're willing to step in and tell someone to cut that shit out. Telling an overenthusiastic newb to stop spamming could be seen as "bitchy" so they don't want to do it. Add that it's a cosplayer and she might run back to her cosplay friends crying about how lolitas were mean to her waaahhhh and it's like she's practically untouchable. I don't know why some people in our comm care so much about what cosplayers think of us, but they do.
>>
>>9651686

But if you're a mod, you should be able to "mod" these type of posts without sound bitchy or whatever. I mean, I don't think anyone is gonna think "wow, she's so bitchy" because of these. Or at least I want to believe that.
>>
>>9651686
I wish they would stop with that, why care if the cosplay comm thinks we’re meanies? They are already way too open with accepting new members to the group. No one shares coords and such in the group anymore and I feel like the 500+ members can be blamed for that. There are too many non-Lolita’s in the group and I am pretty sure most of them aren’t newbies who plan on wearing the fashion some day.
I feel like the online comm is slowly dying. Most of the people who post seem to be newbies, like where is everyone?
>>
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>organising comm's Halloween event
>biggest meetup ever for comm, first ticketed comm event, private venue, raffle and goodies
>almost everything is fine but still panicking that SOMETHING will go wrong
>mfw
>>
>>9651885
One way to assuage your anxiety would be to talk with a mod or a member of your Comm who has organized a large event before.
>>
>>9651885
That expression is too much! Thanks for the laugh, anon!

Hopefully the event is a smash
>>
>>9651686
I agree. our mods are nice but like... too nice.

>>9651818
I know several people for who it's bullying to ask them to stop doing something, no matter what the thing is. remember you-know-who? asking someone to stop bullying is also bullying?? not saying this girl is like that but in my years in the cosplay and lolita comms I learned to be really careful about being anything but positive and uwuwuwu with someone I don't know just in case they freak out and say I'm a bully or toxic because they love that word.

>>9651824
I agree they need to remove at least hundred people or more. who are all these people?? I don't post in the group much because there are 500 full strangers in it who can see every post. most of them will not even notice if they are removed. and the ones who get upset but don't wear Lolita or are planning to can gtfo, why care what they think?? they don't belong in the group.
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>>9651348
So a bunch of itas are gonna walk around the mall? Hope you guys have a Hot Topic for them all to loiter in.
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>>9648888
I can't imagine demanding to know how my ticket fee would be used at any other event where I'm paying to be entertained. It's entitled and more than a little classless imo. It's easy to drop more than 500.00 on ingredients to feed 20 people; hell, non-shitty catering often costs more than that. Event planning isn't easy, especially when it's for people behaving like poorly socialised lowbrow degenerate cheapskates. KFC is too classy for y'all.
>>
>>9651349
Take the SEPTA to Frilladelphia?
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>>9651890
Nobody has organised anything big before in the comm, and I'm a mod. Oops. Thank you for the advice though!

>>9651891
You're welcome anon, and thanks!
>>
>>9651824
>>9651895
Can't we just do a poll or something? Sticky it, leave it up for a month or two and then kick out anyone who didn't reply. With a poll you can also have different questions like do you wear lolita, do you come to meets and several options for people who answer no, like why not or whether they're planning to wear lolita or come to meets within the year or something. Then we also have a nice overview of comm demographics. If mods don't feel comfortable kicking a lot of people at once they can do it in stages, like first the people who didn't reply at all, then later people who replied but say they don't wear the fashion and aren't really planning to, etc.

Personally I think anyone who doesn't wear lolita and isn't actively working on getting a coord together within the next half year or so does not belong in the group, but I've been told this is 'lolitist'. I'm not sure why, because buying lolita clothes online is insanely easy nowadays and not even all that expensive. If someone is actually interested then they'd find some way to at least get their hands on a poofy skirt and buy a frilly top from H&M or something. 'Loliables' aren't ideal but IMO it's still leagues better than not trying at all.
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>>9651905
There's also a Target. Oh boy what fun!
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>>9651935
My comm did that, there wasn't any drama that I know of at least.
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>>9651935
I think that’s a very good idea, I can understand that it’s a lot of work, but it would definitly give the comm a boost. The recent plurge was just too small and they didn’t even remove all the people, who are only in the group for assignments and program making purposes.
If it’s too much work you can always have a blank start by opening a new group. And them only let people in after some good screening, just like in the old forum days. They could also ask for some more mods if they think it’s too much work. I am sure there are people who want to help.
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>>9651941
My comm did one too and some people tried to make a big stink about it cause they didn't see the poll or were too entitled/lazy to respond and they got removed
>>
>>9652015
A fresh start would actually be a good idea in our case because the group is still owned by someone who doesn't wear lolita and lives in a different country but can't be bothered to hand over ownership. Starting fresh would lose us a lot of valuable older posts, but we can start over without all the random onlookers and transfer informative posts and photos.
>>
>>9651895
We definitely need to be more selective and cut more people out of the group. There is nowan account posting with only an anime picture and meme picture and only has 17 friends who all seem to be like those teenage weeb FB models.

>>9651935
I think people who used to wear it are fine, since we do still know them and they might pop up again in the future.
>>
>>9652021
We tagged everyone and let them back in if they missed the deadline. But I can see how people would get butt hurt. there was a bunch of confusion from people convinced we were kicking them out because they didn't go to meets because of work or whatever. Nope please just opt in unless you've moved away!
>>
Rant time? Rant time.

Several years ago, our comm had high-quality, well-planned events. We'd go to high tea, we'd visit a museum and then a restaurant, we'd rent out one of the girl's apartment complex leisure centers for potluck swap meets, etc. Then I stepped away from the comm for a few years and something changed.

Now there are two types of meets. There is zero in between.

One is the paid meet. Often prohibitively expensive (yet somehow still not expensive enough to keep the itas or younger parent-bringing members away) with little to offer, I have yet to attend one of these ticketed meetups that wasn't wildly disappointing. They're not at a quality venue, the food is poor, there are no raffles, we had a coordinate contest once I think where there was a prize but that's it. They're always well attended but really kind of shit.

Then there are the "aimless wandering" types of meetups. "Oh well we'll all meet at this shopping center at about this time and then see what we want to do from there" and it's always aimless and awkward.

I'm disorganized and hate being the center of attention so I would't be a good person to organize a meet that could break this cycle, so I'll just keep sitting here complaining I guess. We never used to have such a hard time having quality meetups.
>>
So this girl with a really fake looking profile and definitely a fake name joined our comm. She is now hosting a meet where you pay for the chance to see her "mobile boutique" and maybe buy something from it. It's like all overpriced bodyline and Taobao. She just seems really sketchy. No one knows her, she doesn't really seem to know the area. It's weird.
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>>9651935

We did that also in my old comm and also, there was not so much drama about it. I mean, if you're not into the style anymore, or you haven't posted in the group for ages... What are you doing there? I left the fb group of my former local comm because of that, why read about what they're doing if I'm not gonna be there? And if I pay them a visit, I always can contact the people and organize something without being in the group, no big dramas at all.

And also, with the poll you're not excluding anyone (in my humble opinion); you leave it there for a while, pinned on the top and you give a couple of reminders.

I don't know, I'm quite new into this comm, but also I understand you because in the past my former comm suffered from this type of things and it's not funny. I really think that if the mods know about this we all can find a solution.
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>>9651895
My comm's mods made a Facebook event before for people who still want to be considered active in the comm, and all they'd have to do is select "going", and they had the date of the event be the deadline to RSVP. The mods then deleted people who either didn't RSVP or chose "declined".
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>>9651349
Join Frilladelphia. We have some pretty nice meetups, especially in October. Even when we do casual mall stuff (which isn't often) at least it's King of Prussia.
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>>9652173
Lol, do you have a link to her store?
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>>9652234
It's called Les Cerises or something like that.
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>>9646797
What comm are you? I am afraid to ever bring my kid to a meet even though he is very good and cute since I know people don't like kids. It would be nice to have other moms in my comm but I'm the only one, they're a young group
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>>9652293
Ask beforehand, be respectful of a no, and only suggest it at a child appropriate venue like the zoo or something. Most of us (and my comm is mostly mid-late twenties) are non-breeders and don't like children at all, but would accommodate when/where appropriate with advanced notice.
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>>9652241
Found their eBay store..
>Hi, we re Cherry-Chan & S.P., managers of Les Cerises, an Ohio-based boutique specializing in new and used Japanese Lolita clothing and accessories. You can view more content related to our products on the Les Cerises Lolita Fashion YouTube channel.

Interesting, they have thousands of sales and 100% perfect feedback. Some kind of wholesaler is joining your comm, I guess...or at least impersonating them?
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>>9652293
no i mean people bring their moms to meets

not all the girls who bring their moms are young girls, either
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>>9652353
Nayrt but isn't kind of trashy to join a comm and make a meet so people can pay to look at what you're selling?
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>>9652293
As a parent, is say only meets that are places kids would be expected to be already, and not enclosed spaces. Like arts festival, botanical gardens, museum, etc. Only if you have common sense though, if you would stay when your kid was tired and running around licking food and putting it back on trays, stay home.
>>
There's a woman in my comm who keeps talking about bringing her son to meets, while at the same time talking about how he thinks lolita is stupid and is embarrassed to be seen with her when she wears it. She says she wants him to meet "mommy's friends" but the reality is that she only has at most one or two friends in the comm. Most of us hardly know her and don't care about meeting her son.
I have nothing against kids, but please don't bring a preteen who hates lolita to a lolita meet. You'd think that's common sense, but apparently it's not. He's going to be miserable and will probably act out and make the rest of us miserable too.
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>>9652613
Uhhh forcing your pre-teen son to meet "Mommy's friends" is fucking psycho, the fact that it's a lolita comm besides. I wish I had advice on how to dissuade her Anon...
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>>9651348
I saw this meet and immediately thought 'when the hell was the last time that any of us had a mall meet' I thought we were past that stages in our lives.
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>>9652293
Not every lolita group hates kids, I've hosted a meet where a mom brought her baby and it was fine.

Just check with the host before bringing the kid, and don't take it personally if they say no.
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>>9652293
If it seems like there is a lot of vitriol here towards kids it's because there is a lot of that here in general. And shitty moms do exist so people vent about them.

I lucked out with a comm where members either outright like kids or don't mind well behaved ones. That said, I don't bring her to venues that aren't kid friendly. Not only would be she a bother, but I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself trying to keep her in line. In places like parks, zoos, fairs, etc, there's a ton of kids running around anyway. One as part of the group doesn't make a huge difference. Smaller meets are generally easier for that too. I just try to keep her away from other girls' burando and all that.

>>9652613
That is really fucking weird. If a kid is old enough to vocalize that they don't want to do something (where they don't belong to begin with) they shouldn't be forced into it.
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>>9652173
Oh hey fellow GLL member. Glad I'm not the only one put off by that... Equally annoyed at the moment by everyone's favorite resident obnoxious attention-grubber making two meets at literally the same venue for the same (?) purpose within less than a month. Maybe by the time those meets roll around she'll be able to stuff herself into more than just the one JSK she can "fit" into atm.
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Does anyone have info on the LA chinese comm? Just saw the meetup post on lolita updates.
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Anyone have ideas for games to play at a tea party?
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Does anybody know if there are any comms in Japan, and if they're like the western ones?? I'm moving to Niigata next year, and I don't want to be a lonesome lolita just roaming around in the middle of no where. I'm only really aware of the brand tea parties, other than that I don't know.
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>>9655453
There's an international lolita group with several well known lolitas like Cathy Cat.
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>>9655449
Bingo, where the spaces are things like colors, themes, etc.
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our comm hasn't had a meet in almost a year, a tea meet is set up for this month. am excited. if we're lucky there'll be like 5-8 girls show.
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>comm has poll on which substyle you'd choose if you could only wear one
>only person who voted OTT sweet looks like pic related
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>>9656083
It would not surprise me if this because of the very limited options the poll offered us. Because I know the person who voted is actually interested in Sweet Ouji. And Ouji itself wasn’t an option, as they only let you choose between Sweet, Classic, Gothic and their spinoffs. Personally think it’s a very narrow minded poll. Why specify on OTT and Old-school instead of adding other substyles?
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>>9655449
pin the headbow on the lolita
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>>9655449
generally bingo and scavenger hunts are tea party games because they can include large groups of people... but i would suggest werewolf or mafia for a free version as a fun game.

If youre looking to buy party games theres tons of lists out there... personally i love cheating moth/molge motte but its only 3-5 players... you can play with maybe 6 or 7 and itll still work.
>>
>>9655449
>>9656410
Depending on the size, something like Skulls would be good too. You can easily make your own tiles if you're crafty. It would be best if all guests are seated at one table.
>>
does anyone in the GLL believe for a second that the person who got their Lolita panel into youma wasn’t aware that the girl whose been doing it for years was also submitting
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>>9657089
I thought she said she was aware? I don't get why they decided to go with a new panelist for it though.
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>>9657140
the person who submitted it knew, they'd been to the panel in previous years, but they went ahead and submitted it with the same name and all. Maybe they were trying to meet the hour req for a free badge and didn't have anything else to submit
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>>9657089
Absolutely not. When I saw them post in the FB group, I was just shocked. What were they doing trying to go around a successful panelist in our comm's back and try to run a Lolita 101 panel? An ita and their friend who doesn't even look to be into lolita, just shitty cosplay.
>>
Any other comm mods feel like nobody else does anything? 15+ people will turn up for meets, but if I'm sick or snowed under with work, nobody steps up to organise a meetup. Nobody else keeps the fb group active, updated, or moderated.
I don't get it. Plenty of people show up, but nobody wants to give back to the community. I don't understand such a selfish mindset.
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>>9657155
Same I feel like I am the only mod who handles any of the unglamorous jobs and the one who has to play the bad guy when a member fucks up.
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>>9657144
Literally a year ago, and they think they're experienced enough to run an introductory panel?
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>>9657159
It's so tough. If I really, really bother people then they'll help out with something but I shouldn't have to nag people to help. I feel so weird about it.
What bothers me is that I'm really trying to pull together a big tea party for Valentine's and I've directly asked people for help, they've said yes, but now they won't actually help with anything.
I really, really love doing stuff for the community and seeing people have fun but when nobody is helping or giving back it leaves me feeling pretty shit.
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>>9657155
Do you guys make it known/encourage people to make their own meets?
In many cities (at least here outside the Us) the mods don’t allow it (because they’re mods?). And many of us aren’t not sure if it’s allowed in comms where it hasn’t been said. My current comm I haven’t been active enough to ask but she seems to have them planned out 4-5 months in advance sometimes she makes a meet once a month for the entire year early in the year. She hasn’t ever said feel free to host your own.

But my past local comm mod would post every few months that everyone’s free to host their own events (especially if someone bitched about it always being on the weekend or always eating/not being free). However she and often her friends wouldn’t attend anyone else’s event no matter the size... which could be discouraging.
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>>9655449
So...playing on the old joke of Mana's overshooped missing nose, once i did "pin the nose on mana" as a game and the results were hilarious because everyone drew their own noses to pin
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>>9657166
Man, i wish our leader/Mod would ask people for help. She’ll ask her normie friends to help after her Lolita friends/behind the scenes mods before she’ll ask some of us Regular attending and on her good side Lolitas. However, we are a smaller comm so maybe she’s doesn’t want to ruin the experience.... ?
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>>9651885
Ohio? I feel you, man. My anxiety is through the roof.
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>>9657174
I can't imagine a comm where mods would be the only ones allowed to make meets, what's the point of being a community then?
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>>9655449
I've done a "name a print game" where you print and cut out a bunch of random words that appear frequently in lolita releases and hand those out and people combine them to come up with the most ridiculous one.

Alternately, draw the words from a hat and sketch out the print, you could have pages with the silhouette of the dress already drawn out.

I got the idea from cgl originally.
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>>9657175
This is brilliant, I totally want to steal this but most of the girls in my comm don't really know who Mana is...

>>9657317
My comm was like that for a while. It was part powertripping on the part of our self-appointed leader and part incompetence on the part of the people who tried to organize meets without mod help.There was one really annoying woman who would organize meets that consisted basically of hanging around in a mall or park, and she'd invite people who were kind of persona non grata in the comm like the creepy brolita we kicked out months ago. All the experienced lolitas could see the writing on the wall and wouldn't come, so she'd be left with only naive newbies and impressionable teenagers who would then get creeped on by the creepy brolita and get a bad impression of the lolita comm as a whole. Rather than try to fix things, the mods decided to just disallow meets unless a mod was involved in the organization. It wasn't an ideal solution but I can see how they came to that decision.
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>>9657317
i mean you can make meets in private but you cant advertise/post about it on the group page. It gets iffy when you want to invite the mod or their friends or post a group photo on social media. but you cant share the photos on the group page either....

Its basically the mods or leader power tripping and the majority not wanting to plan anything or wanting to eventually be a mod and not pissing anyone off.
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>>9657317
While there's no rule against it in my comm, I think I'm done hosting meets. The mods are weird about it, and it's getting to the point where it's just not on FB. This one mod can't even talk to me about meet planning. So, in order to avoid drama, I'll stop. It sucks though.
>>
Newbies keep asking questions on the comm page, questions that can be answered by already existing comm documents.
Where on earth are our mods? It’s getting very annoying. They also haven’t made a new question thread, which could be one of the reasons of the newbies placing their questions on the group page, anoher would be the mods not correcting them.
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>>9657786

It's not that difficult to find the question thread, for God's sake. And even if it's from last month, ask there, it's not a big deal.
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>>9657786
>>9657812
I suspect we're in the same comm. Are you talking about the same newbie who couldn't even be bothered to google "how to remove nail polish"? Enthusiasm is great, but it's clear from her posts that she doesn't even try to research anything herself and expects the comm to be her personal Siri.
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Someone just posted on our lolita comm page asking if she should be ~worried~ about some random dude she matched with on Tinder.

>dude in question isn't even in our comm
>"not trying to call him out" but posts his FB anyways
>if you're freaking about randos on tinder, don't be on tinder
>how is this even lolita related
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>>9657812
I agree, but no one is telling them they should post there, so they will just continue doing this. I want to tell them, but I feel like that is not my job as I am not the mod.

>>9657822
Same newbie yes. It irritates me that nobody ever told her that it was extremly off-topic and the questions thread would be a better place for all her questions.
I feel like our mods aren’t active in the community at all. I also heard some people say that some mods don’t even wear Lolita anymore, if that’s the case then why don’t they just search for new mods? I am sure there will be people that are willing to fullfill that function.
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>>9657089
Her lolita panel wasnt memorable obviously. This new girl wont be better but its just lolita 101. Not like its original thought.
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>>9657886
I really doubt that's it. More like youma doesn't care and chose whatever was first.
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>>9652293
To be honest I think it's of rude to even ask if you can bring your kid, unless the host explicitly stated that it was a family friendly event. It puts the host in a weird place if you're like "can I bring my kid!!!" because a lot of people will feel rude saying no, and most moms would be offended if they were told no.
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>>9657849
Ya, I saw it too. A quick look at his fb profile shows he's a really dedicated photographer
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>>9657822
>>9657849
Do these people not have any friends they can talk to?
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>>9652293
Personally I think it's weird to want to bring your kid to meets. I'm not a mom, but don't you want to have some "you" time with your friends? I understand not being able to find a sitter, but if you can't find one, you probably shouldn't go to the meet. Sorry, but I see that as just being part of being a parent.
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>>9657886
The new person hosting constantly posted in the comm with questions about how to purchase lolita without a Paypal or credit card, if Wunderwelt was trustworthy, if they could wear 5-inch platforms. The person running it before has been wearing the fashion for years and successfully run the panel for years as well, one that the new person even attended. Your thinly-veiled white knighting is sad.
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>>9658050
What an annoying bitch. How does one expect to buy anything over the internet without a Paypal or cc? fax them the cash?
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>>9658052
They said their only method of payment was a prepaid credit card - so I guess something like a Visa giftcard? It was ridiculous. Literally a year ago and they're going to run a panel on Lolita 101 lmao
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>>9658053
Sounds like they failed as an adult and probably as a lolita as well lol
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>>9657849
>>9657967
>>9658036
The weirdest part was when she mentioned how she was in a "vulnerable place right now". Then why are you on Tinder trying to make friends?
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>>9658054
I mean they have "danceing" listed as their major in college so take that as you will.
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>>9658054
They aren't even an adult. They're under 21 for sure.
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>>9658054
The best part is though, that they have now alienated the entire 125+ person Michigan comm. So when someone asks at the panel where they can go to find meet ups etc, what are they going to say? "Sorry we left/got banned from the community so we don't really know!"?
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>>9658060
Drama llamas
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>>9658053
Pretty sure you can use paypal without a cc
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>>9658050
>>9658053
I'm sorry but this person is running an introduction and how to lolita panel?

>Here are some brands but those are unipmortant and elitist! Anything can be loliable especially if you're on a budget xD
>You can all be lolitas but especially if you're a transboi uwu like me ur pronouns are still important!!!!!
>My black piercings aren't jarring at all it's all about individuality!

And something about how replicas are totally fine and anyone who says otherwise can fuck off judging by that Holy Lantern and ripoff Hot Topic tights.

I'll probably go for the trainwreck.
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>>9658106
They're definitely going to try to start their own comm, and draw in the weeby cosplay cheapo crowd. I guess it's a win for the main comm because you don't have to deal with that, but it means that's what's representing the fashion in your are at cons and it's shit.
Had something similar happen in my area, hope for your sake that they just fade away into nothingness.
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>>9658129
Y I K E S
If you guys want to actually do something about her, especially since she's going to misinform a bunch of innocent people, I suggest submitting another panel like "History of Jfashion by the Michigan Lolita Community" or something, so you can run a real panel that sounds way more legitimate.
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>>9655276
lmao you have to join their weibo though, I think I found the link by one of the chinese brands RT the original post about their event http://weibo.com/u/6190804766
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>>9658164
This is the panel that was chosen though by youmacon. It was chosen over the Lolita 101 run by the person who does it every year. Also can't submit another panel as it's for this year's convention (in three weeks). They denied all other j-fashion panels submitted.
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>>9658210
It was chosen because they were "first!!!!!" to submit it despite Youma's previous policy to prioritize past panelists. Because it had the same name as the original panel. Since two panels had the same name, they go for the one that was entered first. That's why everyone's so especially salty. If they had just called it something else, there wouldn't have been a problem.
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>>9658164
At this point I don't think there's anything we can do since it's too late to submit anything else. Apparently he hasn't actually made the content for the panel yet so it's possible he'll drop out from doing it since he's got a bunch of other panels too.
>>9658102
He is actually an adult over 21, sadly. I snooped his facebook profile because I wondered just who this person is. He's an ftm trans emo scene kid who seems to be mostly into cosplay and I have no idea why he could not use a credit card or bank account.
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>>9658234
Honestly, I think it's best to let this idiot do her little fail panel and then have the original showrunner take it back up next year. She'll be out of the fashion pretty quick after this. Idiots have thin skin.

Also supposedly she copy pasta'd the description from the panel she "didn't attend" last year in her application to youma.
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>>9658171
Ah, shit. That's a no-go for me then, thanks for the information anon.
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>>9658129
This is so depressing to compare with the usual panelist's quality level, jesus. After the new person and his "partner" flipped their shit in that thread I'm surprised they didn't just hand it over since it looks pretty bound to sink rather than swim, especially without support from the comm.
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>>9658234
They kept talking about "going away to school next year". I assumed from that and their behavior that they were younger. All my benefit of the doubt is gone if that is an adult acting half their age then.
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>>9658113
You can, that's what I do. Where I'm from many people don't have a credit card because we rarely need it, but the only people I know who want but don't have PayPal are <16 or "vulnerable adults" who aren't in charge of their own finances. A while ago there was this 30-something woman begging people in my comm to buy lolita clothes for her and saying she'd pay them back in cash later, because she wasn't "allowed" to use online banking. I checked out her profile and she was an obese furry cosplayer dating another obese furry cosplayer with a chain around his neck. Yeah... no thanks.
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>>9658171
What the fuck

Who even uses Weibo in LA? They should have kept this event private in their Chinese only group
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>>9657851
There is one admin who doesn't wear lolita and never really has. She's not active as a mod and lives in a different country. She's a dead weight, but since she made the group it's impossible to just get rid of her. The most active mods do wear lolita regularly and do most of the work regarding meetups. Then there are a few in between, who still wear lolita but (IMO) badly, or so normified I wouldn't recognize them as lolita if I saw them on the street. They've been losing interest in the fashion and have not been very active organizing or even attending meets, but maybe they do stuff behind the scenes, idk.
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>>9658041
It's just that I am the sole caregiver, his dad travels and isn't home every weekend. So if I can't find a sitter, I'm stuck watching the kiddo all weekend. This is very lonely, I miss seeing my comm but sitters keep flaking on me. I never get to do anything fun, even when my husband is in town I end up watching the little one. I try to do fun things with him like go to movies, parks, museums and so on, but it would be so much more fun with other adults to talk to
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>>9658622
Why don't you organize your own meets and write that your bring your child and other parents are welcome to bring theirs too. This way the other girls can decide themselves if they want to attend your meet
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>>9657155
Same here, I even encourage other people to organize meets, but the most I can get is someone asking "Who wants a meet in city xy" and then "ooh but I have never organized a meet before, can someone else do it"
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>>9655276
I'm not really part of the comm, but the events are really well run and everyone is well dressed. However, it's not going to be much fun if you aren't fluent in Mandarin.
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>>9658171
>>9658596
You don't have to join the weibo, tf? You just buy a ticket.
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>>9658234
>he
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>>9658630
That's actually a great idea, I tried to make an event without my baby when I could get a sitter and no one came. At least if I try to make a kid friendly meet and no one comes, I can still enjoy being out with the baby
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Potentially dumb question here - is the Kentucky Lolita Society still around? The link on the comm directory is dead and searching it I only find a person's public post mentioning it from 2016. Did they rename themselves by chance?
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Anyone going to the Texas ILD event?
The two venues seem kind of far apart.
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>>9658266
Caps of the shit flipping? I didn't hear about it until after everything was deleted.
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I’m going to Ohio this weekend for my first venture to go to another comm’s meet. I’m going to the tea in Columbus and am super excited, driving about six hours. However, my friend who was supposed to go with me ended up having to stay behind so I’m going alone and am pretty nervous. I’m not sure how to phrase this question exactly, but would any gulls want to maybe hang out and talk while at the meet? I’m sure I’ll hit it off well with whoever I end up being by, but I’m afraid I might have a bit of trouble breaking through and talking to groups if I’m the only person there no one knows. I’ll be getting there on Thursday, so if anyone would maybe want to do a casual dinner or lunch before Saturday then that’d be nice, too!
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>>9652138
Possibly same comm? I used to personally organize a lot of stuff in the group but it's unrewarding work to be totally honest. People flake a lot, to the point where it wound up costing me a significant amount of money (before we required meets with reservations etc to be prepaid) to cover for them, people bitched if you had too many meets in one area or another, and even if everything went great and you had a great time, it was just plain exhausting and you get tired of being one of like, 5 people tops who were willing organize the damn things.

I haven't seen one meetup in the last year that made me shit my bloomers about wanting to attend, which makes me sad but I'm just too fucking tired to make my own anymore.
>>
Are there any lolita comms at university? I go to UCSB in California and was wondering if there were any lolitas here
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>>9662158
Kentucky EGL society I think. They just had a meetup either this month or last
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Any lone lolitas or comm in the Southern Oregon area?
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>>9662224
I live in SB, the scene here is deader than dead. Central Coast Rufflebutts has talked about meets, but when push comes to shove no one makes plans, and there are only a few of us so planning a day where more than one or two people can show up is remarkably difficult.

plus, no one has posted on the facebook page in ages.
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>>9662201
I wish I could meet up with you, but I don't live in Columbus anymore. You may want to make reservations at Kihachi while you're there and ask on the event page if anyone wants to join up.
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>>9662227
Ah, thanks! Should have realized they'd probably need to dodge the Lolita FB filter, doy.
>>
My comm is having our Halloween meetup in November since so many people are going to HalloWien. My usual style is gothic, so I think I might sweeten it up a bit with my Halloween Treats coord.
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>>9658060
I blame tumblr and untreated mental illness
>be vulnerable
>muh cundishuns
>need attention
>stop stupid shaming me, bullies!
>predictable clusterfuck of reeeeee

This shit isn't elegant.

>>9658129
>transboi uwu

aka crazypants.

>>9658546
Yep. Vulnerable means too stupid or crazy to function, as well as "will ruin your com for attention" 95% of the time, and then I'm being generous. It's a com, not a therapy group for gendertrenders, zoophiles, and fetishists. I wish coms could put that in their profiles, but imagine the backlash.
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>>9662201
Hi I'm going as well, me and a buddy are carpooling from Pittsburgh :) you're welcome to join us if your in the area, I'm one of the girls who posted in the local coms' rideshare for the event.
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>>9648548
Not really surprised, but they simply deleted the event.

>>9650294
That sounds fun. I have no idea what to do, I was a ghost last year and didn't want to repeat myself.
>>
Opinions on Southern California comms? I'lI be moving to LA/OC in January. I know there's SoCal, LA, and Beach Cities comms. Are people generally friendly/receptive to new comers?
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>>9662296
Thank you for the suggestion! I checked that place out and it looks really nice, so I may just do that.

>>9662653
I'll be driving from the opposite direction, but if you would like to meetup at the event or getting dinner beforehand, then I would really like that! When will you be arriving? I was thinking about checking out the restaurant anon suggested, but also trying the meadery that's in Columbus if maybe you'd like to hangout and grab a drink.




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