How do people react when you wear lolita in public? Have your co-workers commented on the fact that you wear hime kaji every day? What does your family say about fairy-kei? Talk about reactions to your favorite out-their fashions here! Good experiences, bad experiences, I wanna hear them all! Of particular interest to me is people who wear their chosen fashions daily, and not in big groups like meetups, but all are welcome.
>>9709690lolita every day to unionly very positive reactions, it's nice when people tell you you're cute/beautiful on a daily basis. some people ask for pictures and i oblige if they're being polite. i've never had a single bad interaction in lolita, and i wear full pastel sweet coordinates very regularly. a few people i've run into have tried to recruit me to model for their indie fashion brands, and several other people have asked if they could draw me for their art classes. it's interesting!
Daily lolita here, in my experience it's mostly uneventful but not in a bad way. People might stare from afar, most of the time I don't really notice, they rarely approach me and when they do it's usually to offer compliments or ask what I'm dressed up for.I've had a few mildly strange experiences, the occasional young teenager asking if I'm cosplaying, and some offhand teasing remarks from passerby about my parasol ("Hurrdurr is it raining?") but nothing too bad.I've been a daily lolita for quite a few years now and I don't know if it's where I live/work, the style I choose to wear or sheer luck, but I'm grateful that my experiences so far are mild at best.
>>9709697>things that never happened
>>9709700sorry you've had bad experiences anon. i go to a big uni full of artsy people so it's really not that hard to believe.
>>9709699Anon what style do you wear? If I were to guess I would assume sort of toned down classic Lolita in stuff like navy, black, ivory?...
Literally no one has ever said anything to me. I've worn lolita nanchatte and casual cute style and no one ever says anything, no hate or compliments, which is a good thing in my book. Someone may stare or look for a moment but I don't really notice. The most I've got was my mom said I look nice.
>>9709718Yep, my primary style is classic and I wear lots of black, but I also wear dusty pink, sax, grey, and beige sometimes. People are generally more inclined to approach me if I'm wearing something that isn't black, and pink and grey coords attract the most attention and compliments.
>>9709690We've had this thread a million times, but for wearing lolita alone I've noticed a huge drop in outside attention I get since I stopped wearing wigs. I guess most people don't notice you're clothes if you're sat on a train unless they're super bright colours. For some outfits, most people don't seem to notice or care at all. For others, I get a lot of stares but it's rare people to actually say anything if I'm not in OTT, especially if I'm with a normie friend and not alone or vulnerable. Most interactions are things like "I like your outfit!", people complimenting my "vintage", sometimes people asking if there's an event on or I'm a Christmas caroller or something. Sometimes I get "hurr durr bo peep haha" or "she looks scary!" type of comments or overhear people saying things like "Look, she's dressed as Alice in Wonderland/[insert Disney princess here]!", sometimes excited, sometimes laughing.Gothic gets the least attention even if it's OTT, but also the least compliments. Classic can get a lot of compliments but also people assuming you're a pretentious hipster or art student (at least twice I've seen people openly pointing me out to their friends and family and saying "See, I told you there were loads of hipsters/middle class wankers round here, just wait until we get to [area] and they'll be everywhere!"). Oldschool can fly under the radar like it's vintage or attract a lot of negative attention depending on the outfit, I guess because it's the most Alice-y/doll-like of the styles and easily reads like you're dressing as a kid. I actually think some modern sweet prints get less negative attention than some oldschool sweet.least- to most comments/interactions>walking with female friend or group of friends>walking with male friend (I think people are more likely to assume it's a weird sex thing if you're with just one guy?)>at a meetup where people are decently-dressed>walking alone>walking alone in OTT or a print
>>9709745*your clothes, my bad
I don’t wear Lolita or j-fashion as much as I’d like to, but every time I have I’ve had nothing but nice reactions. One time while waiting in line for the Hello Kitty Cafe Truck a Mom came up to me and asked if her little daughter could take a picture with me! That was so cute. And another time I was wearing hime gusty at a mall and a group of teen cake up to me and complimented me! That really surprised me, I tend to expect groups of teens to not be the nicest but they were so sweet and genuine.>>9709721Can I see some pics of your style? I am really looking interested in how different styles trigger different reactions and I’m not sure what nanchatte Lolita is exactly.
I'm early 20s, slim, most experiences from medium-sized cities with lots of students but some really poor areas, some from tourist traps. These are mostly things that have happened outside of meets.>lots of attention, lots of complimentsclassy all-over prints like IW's Georges Rose, AP's British Crown OP or girlier JM, eye-catching vintage lookspeople think you must work for the museum/gallery/teahouse, old ladies saying you look lovely and asking what the event is>not much attention, some compliments, negatives raresimple dresses coorded in a old-ladyish or vintage school kind of way with accessories like a cardigan and pearls, or turtleneck and beretassumptions you're a hipster, occasionally people saying "I wish I had the confidence to dress like you!">not much attention, not many compliments, not much negativegothic, very toned-down/vintage coords without a cute vibemight get compliments on your vintage outfit from middle-aged women, or other goths giving you the nod>not much attention, some negativegothic or classic with "weird" features like a bonnet, simple coords in colours associated with a character like sax blueattracts Bo Peep/Alice jokes, people assume you're a typical student out in fancy dress for a pub crawl or w/e>lots of attention, mixed compliments and negativestereotypically lolita coords like big poof oldschool blackxwhite or a brightly-coloured 2010 AP printattracts weebs and questions about Harajuku, older people assume it's some new trend the kids are wearing these days, teens know it's not trendy so mock you viciously if you look their age
>>9709690Lots of compliments about how I look cute and like a doll. Or the general "lol weirdo/not halloween durr durr/ur ugli/what the FUCK is u doing/...".I have quite a bit of funny stories too,it's gonna be almost 8 years i'm wearing the fashion and i'm not even bothered anymore.I wish I could just wear it and have it be considered normal (aka no rude stares,people sneaking pictures,..) but I know it's not gonna happen.But I don't care I look like a fucking circus,I love lolita,cute feminine jfash and i'll wear that til i'm tired of it!
I've never had any bad experience, but it's not rare to spot people hiding behind something to glare over me / my dresses. I usually get called "princess", "doll" etc. by kids, and little girls absolutely love high poof skirts.Older people usually tell me "I miss dressing like this" whenever I'm in low key classic.And whenever I'm with stained glass prints I receive a lot of compliments (and people tend to ask where I got those).
>9709774Also this,lots of old ladies complimenting/people asking nicely what's the occasion. Little old ladies are always so cute. Also kiddos.It's often the teens being pieces of shit because they're insecure and projects their self hatred on you because you're confident enough to dress "retarded" (in their opinion,which they are entitled to,not everyone has to like lolita,but wew,all that salt over it) but also grown ass men/women that don't know what basic respect is
>>9709774>mostly flies under the radar or gets the odd compliment but some people absolutely fucking hate itanything casual but also obviously girly and cute-looking like ETC, simple outfits in pastels or brights, nanchatte seifuku, things like chokers, cherry motifs that read as normie trendy to some people but sexual to othersbright colours stand out, people can get aggressive because they think you're dressing like a kid or pedobait, other people compliment your "unique style" or ask if your otome print is Cath Kidston>most likely to make people think you're a delusional weirdo unless you're at some special eventhime or OTT princess things, looking like a literal porcelain dolllots of compliments, kids love it, but looks the most out-of-place in mundane scenarios>lots of negative attentionanything really childish-looking like decora, oldschool sweet with pigtails and other stuff that looks like actual kid clothes, costumey stuff that reads as "cosplay worn for no reason" instead of "on your way to a fancy dress party"creepy/disapproving comments, stares, compliments rare
>>9709779>Older people usually tell me "I miss dressing like this" whenever I'm in low key classic.This bothers me so much. If you want to do me a huge favour you'll tell them next time to ignore today's lame excuse for fashion and try wearing what they used to love to wear.
>>9709806Right? If someone ever tells me that I'm gonna encourage them to wear it again! Vintage looks are so cute on older people who you know wore that kind of stuff when they were younger!
>>9709806If they're old enough to have been in their teens or 20s in the 50s or earlier, they might be too old to physically be able to wear impractical stuff like that without someone to help them dress and with other daily tasks.
I don't wear Lolita but I complimented someone at an amusement park once and said I love Lolita and she was very excited.As for other reactions in public, sometimes I take cosplay pictures in public places and normies are really fucking weird about it, taking photos without asking
>>9709818Sure, you have a point, but just imagine how cute it'd be with old ladies dressed up in that style hunched over their walkers. And it's not like they have to go for the most impractical stuff.
I used to wear the most outrageous j-fash and nobody ever even looked at me on the street.Perks of living in a large capital.
>>9709873Why used to?
I'm a med student, i wear soft lolita/otome, himekaji, larme and random goth outfits if I'm in the mood. Mostly my style is Liz Lisa/ank rouge and other 109 brands. Tbh I get stares but usually it's comments how l look like a doll or a little lady. The doctors I have classes with love the style, idk why. My classmates say I'm the living doll stereotype or w/e but honestly I just like wearing Liz lisa and ETC
I occasionally get teased, but that's a very rare occurrence. It only really does happen when I wear a petticoat or the pom pom hair ties. I've never gotten "Little Bo' Peep', but I don't wear lolita. Occasionally there's a, 'Jesus loves you,' but that's only a couple times a year at most. Usually I am wearing a pentagram or something when it happens so...There's fairly large medical programs in my area, and I get a lot of compliments on leg wear. Often, after talking to them if I get the chance, it turns out they're either in nursing or a med student. Not always. Girls are usually the ones to like the leg wear. However, I've noticed guys will specifically compliment pink leg wear. I felt it was interesting to note that specific color always.The main compliments I get from guys is about the prints. They're always the ones who really dig the art whether they like anime or just art in general. Occasionally, girls comment the art. Some people also stop to compliment the spiked collars, older people often add they use to see them a lot in the 90's, they wore one once, etc. I was legitimately surprised the amounts of compliments menhera, pastel, and creepy cute stuff gets here from completely random people since it's kind of rural and backwoods here. A lot of people are surprised to here me respond with a strong accent since they first think I'm from out of town based on my clothing.
>>9709697we're gonna need some pics as evidence
>>9710073figure out my FB/tumblr url and you'll have plenty
>>9710083nobody cares about you that much anon
>>9710745>nobody cares about you that much>somebody literally asking for picsok
This thread seems to be mostly good stories, anyone had any memorable bad ones?
>>9712835Nothing memorably bad terrible, just mildly bad funny.>drunk guy in a busy train station was slurring so much I have to ask him three times to repeat what he was asking>turns out he was just trying to say "ISH NOTT HALLOWEEEN!">apparently sober guy runs across the platform just to shout "LITTLE BO PEEP!" at me and look pleased with himself>aged net.goth tries to use the "Nice boots" meme well over a decade after it stopped being relevant>this happened twice with different people and on both occasions I didn't realise what they meant until after so I just thanked them>guy sits next to me on a crowded train back from a meet, puts his bag on the rack above my head>turns out he shoved it up there too hard and cracked a can of beer he was carrying>takes me a few minutes to notice it dripping because layers, once I do I can't even move straight away because he's blocking my exit>he apologises, I stink of alcohol until I get home and can wash my clothes>uncle tries to convince me lolita is lolicon because he went to Japan one time and Akihabara freaked him out>laughs at my girlish naivety when I try to tell him it's not, warns me to "be careful">chatting to prospective new roomie, she saw lolita pictures on my Facebook profile and asked me about them so I explained briefly that it was a fashion, thought she was cool with it>months later she tells me "oh anon, now I've lived with you I realise that lolita really is just a fashion thing, but when I moved in with you I thought it was some fetish! I told all my family I was moving in with a weird kinky girl because I was desperate, haha!">I met her family before she told me this
>>9712835Had a guy stop me in the street by literally blocking my path look up me up down and casually say"I hope you like being raped" before walking off
>>9712891What the fuck is some people's damage
>>9712835Really mild by comparison to rapey people like >>9712891, but eh.>friend and I walking through flea market>flea market vendors get really excited that we're wearing lolita>'omg it's the street fashion, right?'> one gets overexcited and decides to just lift up my dress in the middle of a crowded market>I push it automatically down, too shocked to even comprehend what went on until 2 hours laterThis is the summation of my reaction to everything in life. I need to be better at this.
When I was in Paris this year I had the strangest experiences so far. Be me, dressed in OTT >suddenly a very normie looking lady my age/a bit older appeared on my side >asking me where I was heading to >I replied to an event >she was sooo sure she could join me even though I explained to her that she can't >made my way into a hotel entrance and could manage to get 'rid of her'
>>9712968Makes me think about those lolitas-at-heart in comms who insist on attending meetups anyway.>b-but I know a lot about lolita and I love it!! I can come to the meet in a t-shirt and jeans don't be a lolitist!!!Apparently normies have no concept of dress codes.
>>9713019She seemed super sweet, but maybe it was the language barrier (as she was French and her English was kinda broken) that I couldn't make her to understand my point that the event was an 'exclusive' thing.
>>9710832>pics or it didn't happen>y-you care about me sooo much anon haha
>>9712835this happened to me half a year ago>meeting some friends in chinatown for dinner>was gonna wear lolita but too tired from having to babysit my room mate all night because he got too inebriated>wear a pastel outfit w/ holographic top instead for comfort>people on the train obviously staring at me, taking sneaky photos, I notice and wave, they laugh>I am more or less used to that, didn't seem malicious so w/e>running late to meet friends so I'm trying to hurry from the train stop to the restaurant>at a stop light waiting for the walk signal>guy asks if he can take a photo of me>"oh no sorry I'm running late to meet someone">him and his friend get right in front of me, blocking my path, and pull out their phones to take one anyways>I'm covering my face with my hands and turning my body away from them and saying stuff like "I said no" but they take pictures of me anyway>i start yelling at them as they start to walk away from me, "what part of no didn't you get", start recording + following them>"well you shouldnt dress like that if you dont want attention">"well you shouldnt leave the house if youre gonna be such a fucking asshole, prick">they didn't say anything more and kept walking away>i was running even more late now so I stopped following them and went to meet with my friends>the food at the restaurant was good>the end
>>9712835Some Guy in a tram '''fell''' on me once, almost messing up the hat I was wearing. In the beginning I didn't realise he was being a Dick because he said sorry and I thought he genuinely tripped. Then I saw him snickering by himself looking around to see if Anyone else was willing to laugh at me with him. Literally no one cared or paid attention. I was so in shock of how pathetic this was I didn't even say anything, just stared at him for a minute.
I don't wear lolita often, but the times I've had I haven't really had negative experiences, which is kinda odd to me since I live in a place where alt fashions aren't common. I've gotten the usual "who are you cosplaying (in cons so it might not count lmao)", "are you in a play", "is this for a television show", "cute clothes!", asking for pics, sneak pics and some people have recognized the style as lolita (usually college girls my age)I think my "oddest" experience was this past Saturday when the waitress at the restaurant we went to was comparing us to some people she saw earlier that day that apparently looked like lolitas? And a lady in the bathroom asking if we were getting initiated in a sorority and after we clarified that we just do this for fun she looked at us confused and was like "oh ok then"
>>9709690When I wear it to work, I wear mostly classic or soft gothic (like bordeaux moitie pieces) and it puts a smile on my colleagues' faces.
>>9709904>'Jesus loves you,'But does he love me enough to fuck me in my frills tho?
Usually I get pretty positive reactions when I wear lolita out (the usual "look mommy a princess," "you look so cute" etc), but every time I go to Harajuku, I get harassed by almost every single tourist for pictures. The Japanese tend to leave me alone/stare or come up to me and tell me that I am kawaii.Though when I dress in himekaji and go to base to run errands (I'm stationed in Japan with husband btw), I get mean mugged by almost every fat Navy wife like I'm gonna steal their man or something. It's funny.
>>9713130Honestly, I get more weird shit when I wear Himekaji too? I tend to wear toned down sweet, and usually just get compliments or ignored when I go out. But in the spring/summer sometimes I switch it up and I get the worst looks in Himekaji--like I'm some trussed up gold digger out to steal your man. It's bizzarre, really.
>>9713137Just jealous normies that have no fashion sense desu.Every girl here is dressed up in North Face pullovers, leggings and Uggs.
>>9713130>>9713137Not in Japan, but I wanted to add - I also get weird looks in himekaji, especially when I wear lighter colours. I get pretty positive reactions in lolita, even if people act weirded out, but they're never standoffish.Darker dresses, like wine or grey, even with OTKs, are fine. But the second I do a white top, peach skirt combo, everyone gives me weird looks. I used to get very blatant stares when I wore it to class, and when I dressed up to go drinking with husband and some of his friends, some chubby black chick outright scoffed and rolled her eyes at me. It was pretty weird. But luckily I can say that that would be the most negative reaction I have ever received while wearing jfash, so I'm doing pretty good.
>>9710083How the heck are we supposed to do that?
>>9713130> I get harassed by almost every single tourist for pictures.I feel you. I had some tourists literally follow me into 7/11 because they 'just needed a pic with a harajuku girl'. One even dragged my normie friend into the pic. She told them she wasn't wearing Jfash but they insisted she had to be in it anyway. Shit was weird af.No wonder a lot of japanese lolitas avoid harajuku nowadays.
Reactions have been all over the place and I’ve come to the conclusion that people are fucking weird.>have to grab some things from the grocery store on my way home from an OTT meet>huge poof, tall clunky platforms, bonnet, parasol, ringlet wig>no reaction or even second glance from anyone>at theme park wearing plain Meta tartan jsk with minimal poof, normie cardigan, normie tights, Mary Jane style flat shoes from local store>stares, stares all day>get “sexy Catholic schoolgirl” comments from two separate men, one who then yells at me that if I don’t want attention I shouldn’t dress “like that”>looked more like a frumpy Scottish librarian than a porn star so idk where that even came fromI give up.
>>9713381Did you have OTKs or UTKs on in the latter? I have a theory that normies automatically assume unusual socks = A Sex Thing.
>>9713403Tights. I’ve noticed the sock thing too, but in this case I was wearing plain tights. I think they were reacting to the tartan but tartan is a thing in mainstream fashion too so ????
>>9713038>"well you shouldnt leave the house if youre gonna be such a fucking asshole, prick"It's good to tell assholes of their behavior
>>9713415i was very exhausted and had someone with me so i had just enough lack of fucks to give to say something back
>>9713411nah, unusual/printed tights are usually fine. normies are fuckin weird
>>9713381The people who saw you in the first occasion probably thought you were in fancy dress. They'd have assumed you were on your way to a party or event and got on with their day. On the second occasion, they could tell it wasn't a costume and that you were therefore wearing weird clothes for the heck of it, and therefore you must be a weirdo who's oblivious to social norms. I get this all the time because I live in a university city and students love to have fancy dress-themed pub crawls/socials/house parties. If I look like I'm in a costume people on the street ignore me and staff in shops make small talk assuming I'm on a night out, but relatively tasteful coords can have people assuming I'm some religious weirdo.IMO normies react the worst to things they can't classify or understand (or things they can classify but assume is a sex thing). It's why the most OTT gothic gets barely any reaction because people go "Oh, a goth" and get on with their day, while even a simply-coorded sweet print has people running up to ask "What ARE you?" because they have no frame of reference for it.
>>9713303>what is a joke
>>9713038>>"well you shouldnt dress like that if you dont want attention">>"well you shouldnt leave the house if youre gonna be such a fucking asshole, prick"I love you. People that go "hurrr you're doing it all for attention xD durr" are fucking retarded
>>9713381It's because you looked like a school girl.>>9713410I think it's the combination of the tartan, tights, cardigan, and Mary Jane shoes. They looked like a school girl. I'd say this is why most school stopped having their teenagers wear the uniform. It was likely because people kept turning it into a sex thing. For some reason, a school girl looking outfit will get more negative attention then OTT lolita.
>>9709690Wore oldschool b+w meta jsk and a fuzzy/warm baby bunny cardigan out today. Got a ton of people complimenting me, mostly girls in their 20s or so, some women. A worker in the hippie market I went to seemed like he thought I looked interesting, but he didn't say anything about my clothing, just kept being super friendly and trying to talk. The weirdest was some creepy black lady who was basically harassing me with questions about why I was dressed how I was. I told her I do it a lot and just because I like the style, but she kept thinking I had ulterior motives and wouldn't leave me alone. She was actually being quite aggressive too, I thought she was going to start shit, but luckily the bus driver came just in time and I boarded the bus. Most people are really nice to me when I'm wearing lolita. I'm used to wearing "unusual" clothing, as I've been into western goth/cyberpunk since the 90s, so nothing really phases me.
>>9713543>she kept thinking I had ulterior motives and wouldn't leave me alone>She was actually being quite aggressive tooWhy the hell do people do this to complete strangers? Are people not taught basic manners anymore? Sorry that happened to you, anon.
>>9713112Wouldn't that ruin the clothing? My nickname in high school was Jesus btw
Still very new to lolita, I've only worn it out twice. The first time was harassed by everyone and their dog, and the second time was to my theatre company's award night and got showered in compliments...
I dread being called Melanie Martinez again t b h even more since we know she's a rapist now
>>9713796Were the two times different styles from each other? Or did you wear a wig the first time but not the other?
>>9713832I am an idiot, >9713908 was meant as a reply to this post
>>9713038Why did you decide to start recording them?
>>9713721For whatever reason, some people just feel entitled to treat someone with less or no respect once they perceive them as "abnormal"
Once I was with my friends in a restaurant, wearing really basic himekaji, when the waiter suddenly started to shout "I KNOW! YOU'RE ANIME, RIGHT?" when he saw me.
>>9713908>Pic related my two said coordsYeah I didn't, I decided to try tone it down the second time because I wasn't sure how anyone would react. Looking back I can see the combination of fluffy Jacket + the headbow/wig being a bit too much but oh well. It's a learning experience, and it hasn't deterred me from the fashion.
>>9714330Where are those shoes from?
>>9714330People often get weird about headbows and that wig does look obviously wiggy so I can see how some people probably thought you were in costume. Doesn’t make it right to harass you, though.Personally I’ve gotten the most reactions while wearing big headbows, OTKs or platforms, especially RHS. Any one of those and people are whistling at me all day. But if I wear a beret and tights and plain flat shoes it doesn’t matter if I’m wearing the loudest print in the world, I almost don’t get a second glance. I’m almost tempted to start scoring it and turn it into a research paper.
>>9714330Anon, you are cute.
>>9713843Not even a MM fan but the whole thing sounds like bullshit. The girl apparently posted her story and when no one gave a shit she goes "oh btw it was MM"It is insulting to assume you're a fan of Melanie when wearing lolita though
>>9714346She posted a picture of a long note like people do, the caption said it was MM. MM admitted they had sex, said it was consensual tho. I don’t think it was bs, sounded like boundaries were not well drawn.
>>9714343>plain flat shoesThat's interesting, I find I do a bit better with a low heel, I guess because flat shoes look especially childish? platform heels worst, platform flats OK, regular flats pretty good, low heels good.
>>9714334They're from antaina, I unfortunately don't have the link to them as I tacked them on to a friend's order. >>9714343Thank you so much for the advice! I think from now on I might try keep it a bit more toned down so I can enjoy my day without dickhead comments, so I'll definitely keep in mind what you've said and order a couple of berets and maybe get my hair more loliable.>>9714344Thank you so much Anon!
>>9714355Sorry, should've specified that I thought calling it rape was bullshit, not that it was bullshit that anything sexual had happened at all.
>>9713916because it's fucked up that they think they can take a photo of me to post on their little private social media sites to laugh at me with their friends, and not get the same shit thrown back at them. I record people it on public transit, too, when I notice someone very obviously taking photo/video of me. If you're going to take a picture of me without my permission, then I am going to do it back to you.>>9713462I wish people would just leave me alone desu. I'd trade never getting complimented by a stranger if that meant also never getting laughed at/questioned/stared at/etc.
>>9713038That's awesome, but also very dangerous, anon. Men who are shitty and rough enough to literally corner you so they can invade your space might be crazy enough to do anything.Be more careful next time.
>>9714665I wasn't alone + it was like 4pm in Chinatown. This happened at a public crosswalk right in front of the main street. I'm not stupid lol
ive had a tonne of pretty bad experiences but recently ive had a lot of good experiences, i think it has to do with being in a small town, everyone is used to me now. i model for the local vintage market (im not even pretty looking imo, and since im modelling their clothes it makes no sense to me that they ask me to come in a full coord. and changing out of a coord into many outfits and back into the coord after is sweaty) and im booked on for a private hair show and photography event where they want me to wear full black coord. life has certainly become more interesting since i started lolita. i notice some days ill get a lot of comments and other days ill get none but people will talk to me a lot in a very friendly way. i think the days people talk to me nicely im not wearing a headbow, AP headbows give me a headache and have me ending up with a serious grumpy dont-bother-me face while other days when im in a tie on bow or rectangle headdress i feel much more friendly because im not dealing with that pain. i also notice people seem to bother me more when im obviously busy carrying groceries. it seems every time im running for a bus i get stopped, but when im sitting in a mall cafeteria i can be left alone for hours.
>>9714355ya MM said "she never said no" which was a really shitty way to phrase it.
>>9714640>I wish people would just leave me alone desu. I'd trade never getting complimented by a stranger if that meant also never getting laughed at/questioned/stared at/etc.oh gosh same, i appreciate people being nice but 95% percent of the time i'd rather just not be approached at all. i'd even take stares and giggles from a distance over reams of compliments honestly because i don't want to talk to anyone. i don't mind the normal small talk you have in casual streetwear with like the cashier or someone at a bus stop etc. but getting stopped every five minutes in lolita is just overwhelming
>>9714730If you ready the girls' note, she said she said no for two nights straight until MM got her high enough to stop resisting. It seems like it's in the grey area as far as legal rape goes, but it still seems sleezy as hell.
>>9714734Thirded. On the one hand I think it's nice that people are interested and want to say something nice, but on the other hand I'm just going about my day and don't enjoy being stopped every five minutes by people who want an in-depth explanation of what I'm wearing and why. I've noticed more and more people aren't satisfied with just "it's a street fashion, I wear it for fun, I'm having tea with friends" and keep prodding for more. If I was getting paid to be a Lolita Ambassador then sure whatever but no, I'm just running errands and would really like to get on with my day tyvm.It also gets harder to be gracious about compliments at the end of the day when I'm exhausted, so I worry that people interpret my groggy thank yous as passive-agressive or bitchy when I'm really just tired and all I want to do is go home and take off my shoes.
>>9714756Yeah I hate being over complimented. I'm shy.
Does anyone have any good comebacks to people being dicks? I only feel safe enough to go out in lolita or with a group of friends or my boyfriend now after getting harassed so much. I am really bad about thinking up snappy comebacks on the spot that embarrass them. I was debating about pretending to not speak any English but I probably wouldn't be very convincing.
>>9714894I don't really like the idea of snappy comebacks outside of movies because I'm afraid that might make agressive assholes even more agressive. Usually I just ignore them, but if they get in my face I pretend not to understand them. I'm from a non-English speaking country but speak fluent English with a convincing accent so it's easy for me to pretend to be an exchange student who has no idea what they're talking about. Usually the people who harass strangers are badly educated so even if they go on to insult me they sound like idiots with their broken English. That's as far as I'll go in embarrassing anyone, and technically it's just letting them embarrass themselves. I don't know if this would work if you can't speak a second language convincingly.
>>9714894Comebacks are...tricky. Just as >>9715075 said, they can make aggressive assholes even more aggressive and if you're not able to defend yourself physically then i don't suggest even thinking of any. That being said, the ones I use frequently are:>it's not halloween yet!/halloween passed!'oh, well the prick costume still suits you...'>bo beep where is your sheep?off finding your manners.>the circus is in town!you must be selling tickets>how much? (insinuating we're prostitutes)if you have to ask, you cannot afford it.Change words or whatever if you want, it's all nonsense imo.I can't recall many other insults, talking back to people gets exhausting pretty fast and I've just resorted to ignoring them.
>>9715098I recently acquired Sheep Garden and to the "Bo Beep where is your sheep?" comment I'll just point at my print
>>9715104That's hella cute.
>>9715075Most asshole are cowards, so once you tell them off, they shut up.
>>9709874Because I was young and innocent. Now that I'm older I still wear j-fash but very toned down.
>waiting at the bus stop, wearing classic floral coord>some guy comes over to wait at the bus stop>feel him staring at me, feel awkward but don't say anything, just stare straight ahead>he looks me up and down>then says, "damn girl, you look like a sexy grandma">didn't know what do to so i just said "thanks, you too">the bus comes and i get on>dying internallyThat's probably the strangest comment I've gotten while in lolita. Others are more normal, "it's not halloween," etc.
>>9715136lmao. well then. better to be a sexy grandma than having someone start shit, I guess. I'm always worried someone acting aggressive is going to grab my dress or something and rip it or get it dirty or ruin it in some way. I've had people rip things before (thankfully not any of my lolita) by grabbing it and yanking on it for whatever annoying purpose, so I'm always extra worried in my expensive clothes. Not sure what makes people think they have the right to randomly grab a strangers clothing.I usually get alice in wonderland comments. I wonder if the style of lolita has anything to do with the comments. I hear people getting the little bo peep one a lot, but strangely have never gotten it myself. I wear mostly oldschool b/w though (which is why alice comments surprise me). I imagine if I was wearing a bonnet, I might get little bo peep, but what styles do people wear and what sorts of comments come with those styles most? Would be interesting to know.
>>9713721I just noticed this reply to my post about the aggressive lady... to be honest, I'm not entirely sure. I'm guessing that perhaps they feel entitled to know. It almost feels as if they are "scared" of anything they perceive as different, and it's a bit of a defense mechanism... as if something they don't understand might in some way be a "danger" and so their agressiveness comes out in case they need to protect themselves. Other times, I honestly just think they are being rude... either way it always feels like some sort of animalistic reaction than any in-depth thought.
>>9714894Honestly I just default to flipping the bird or telling them to fuck off, but only if I genuinely think the shock of me arguing back will stop them, or I'm in no danger and just want to respond for my personal satisfaction (like if they catcalled me from a car).YMMV on this, but I live in a country where swearing is very normal, so I feel like telling people to fuck off humanises me somehow, like it convinces people I'm not taking part in some princess roleplay and suddenly I then become all right in their eyes? Here I can say "fuck offfff" or "I've heard that one before" in the right dismissive tone of voice and have it lead to a conversation, because telling someone to fuck off isn't automatically interpreted as super aggressive or whiny way to respond. I don't think that'd work everywhere. It's not a tactic I'd use on judgey middle-aged women but it works well on working class guys and teenagers, esp. if you have a local accent.
>>9713130Pro tip: don't wear lolita in Harajuku or Akihabara
>>9715359Why not? Im going to Japan in January and I was looking forward to wearing lolita to Laforet, cute cafes, and the brand shops, etc.
>>9715418Ignore that anon. You'll be fine. Go with light poof so you can maneuver, though.
>>9715140>what styles do people wear and what sorts of comments come with those styles most?I don't think it really depends on what you're wearing, people are usually just trying to make sense of what they're seeing. Coords in sax getting the Alice comment makes sense, but you'd be surprised how dim people can be.>tfw wore a Dorothy themed coord, sax gingham, red shoes and all>never gotten called Dorothy oncePeople have a strange tendency to call me Red Riding Hood when I'm wearing all b/w because they're not actually thinking before the comment slips, they just blurt out whatever comes to mind at that moment.Personally I love those moments when people spectacularly mess up fairy tales when trying to come up with something to say.>hey little bo peep, going to visit your grandma?
>>9715359>>9715427Honestly, I never had any problems in Japan wearing lolita - in fact I had some of my best memories wearing lolita there. It was mid July too, so there were tourists swarming the place but no one gave a shit and the people that did only had nice things to say.>pic relatedMy most treasured momento ever, the starbucks lady at ikebukuro drew me on a wet nap and gave it to me. It was so adorable, i went to make her a origami heart out of my receipt but by the time i made it she must've finished her shift and left ;;_;;
>>9715446god if this ever happens to me i will actually cry. im a scrapbooker so little mementos and sweet things like this make me so emotional
I feel like the native people to my country don't even care, I rarely get reactions or comments from them. It's mostly new wave immigrants from 3rd world countries who approach me and I hate it. Like smelly Africans fresh from the boats and creepy Middle Eastern guys who think I'm fresh meat available for them because of the unusual way I dress. I travel a lot in lolita and it happens at least once while I'm waiting for the train. In my country you don't really need a drivers' licence if you live in the city but I'm strongly reconsidering it now since public transport became so horrible in recent years.
>>9715136>"thanks, you too"Glorious.
I usually wear toned down lolita, I'm fucking afraid of riding a train or a bus...How do you guys do it?I live in a village full of old ladies so they just say cute and "omg she got a petti!"
>>9715625Everyone here gets around using public transport. Just have music on, preferably noticeable headphones and it's very unlikely anyone will approach you. Even better if you're actively engaged in something like reading a book.
>>9715625Seconding the anon above, just have your headphones/earbuds in, listen to music/podcast/whatever and ignore everyone around you. Most likely they'll just look at you for a few seconds and then going back to minding their own business.I take the train a lot and people do stare a little but like I said, they go back to minding their own business.
>>9715625Maybe it's just because people here live up to the polite stereotype (Canada) but I kinda mind my own business, and as other anons mentioned headphones help.I have big over the ear headphones, so people know I mean business with my music lol. I make sure to pull my petti/skirt over to the side so nobody sits on it, and I don't end up being rude with taking up too much space with that or my bags.
>>9715621Where do you live? That sounds horrible
>>9715140>but what styles do people wear and what sorts of comments come with those styles most? Would be interesting to know.you didn't read the thread, then?
>>9715621I can feel your pain.At my place (I live in dc of the country) no one gives a singe shit about what I'm wearing. Even little children completly ignore me. I have never recieved "mommy, look, a princess!" or "it's not a halloween" comments from naitives.But... immigrants or villagers... those are just... ugh. "Look at that fucker!", "Gosh, is that A WIG???", " l told you all those urbans are sinful perverts!", "Take a pic so we could show it to others". And of course judjing and/or dirty/creepy stares from muslims. They look at me like I've personaly murdered Muhamed in this particular dress. Some of them catcall and shit. I've always tried to be polite and accepting but it's hard when all you get for it is mocking, hate, and harassment. /sorry for possible mistakes. Eng is my 3rd language/
>>9715418>>9715446I didn't say Japan. I said Harajuku and Akiba. Tourists will harass you, but glhf. You may get lucky.
>wear lolita to work a couple of times>Halloween comes around >my very short co-worker comes up to me and says she wants to be 'me" for Halloween. >??? >"Y'know, white stockings, a frilly dress, maybe a bow on my head. I'll be a mini-you" She's really small and cute so I kinda wish she had.
>>9715446This is absolutely adorable anon
>>9715657Don't know about that anon but it's the same here in the Netherlands. If I ever get harrassed, 9 out of 10 times it's not a white person.
I do a lot of theater and the folks there don't really care about clothes and fashion like normies do (it's not rare for one of the guys to wear 17th century army wear for fun so me in a wig is nothing). The only time so far anyone has reacted was the dude who gave me a lift to a boardgame convention. I was wearing menhera, and after chucking my bag into the trunk of his car, he looked me dead in the eye, pointed at his cheek and said "Nice red." then got into the car. Nothing compared to a lot of stories ITT, but gave me a giggle back then.
>>9716016Also went to harajuku that day, nothing. I wasn't very OTT I guess?
>>9716126Possibly. But I get Japanese people stopping me too so I don't know.
>>9716086kick those people out of the country
>>9715222Australia or Ireland?
>>9716086Also from the Netherlands and can confirm. Fuck those parasites. I wish we could all send them back>>9716161If only anon, if only
I was at the bus terminal just the other day. Sitting on the bench chilling, waiting for my bus. A bench away from me was an Indian girl in a sari, she was on her phone I was on mine everything was cool. Then this asshole strolls up and sits on the bench between ours. He started on me first, talking about how arty my outfit was; he loves art. He's soooo into art, he just loves creative girls. I just wanted to go home so gave non comittal 'oh yeahs?' And 'hmmms'. He realises he's not getting anwhere with me so turns to the Indian girl. Her culture is so interesting, he'd love to go to India, he loves Indian food. She also gives bland responses so he turns back to me. Am I in a play? He's been to plays before because he just loves anything to do with art. I say even less this time so he turns back to the Indian girl. Men in her culture don't respect women and he thinks that's terrible. He's very respectful of women. She pretends to not speak english and goes back to her phone. Asshole gets up calls us both 'frigid bitches' crosses the road and gets on an idling bus. Indian girl turns to me and says "What a prick"
>>9714330Dang. Very cute.
>>9715621I live in a town with a lot of immigrants and thankfully I've never had an unpleasant experience. I remember going to a touristy beach town nearby and this one white lady wouldnt stop stating at me disaprovingly. Thats probably the only bad experience I've had. Most people where I live take a look, aknowledge it, and go back to minding their own bussiness.
Reading this thread, I'm reflecting on my own experiences a bit, and for the most part, while white grandmas are likely to compliment me on how classy I look, I get the most disapproving glares from Asian grandmas. It's really odd, but the most hostile passive aggressive responses are literally from old Asian aunties.Except my own grandmother, she thinks I look really adorable and says it reminds her of how she dressed back then. Then again, she's already in 2nd generation, so that probably affects things a little.
>>9716304Lmao what a pissbaby. That's pretty funny anon>b..but i respect women!1!>what do you mean you dont want my dick you frigid bitchSome men are incredibly entitled wew
>>9715148Did...did you just insinuate that that woman was lower intelligence and therefore subhuman?Because you're sounding very 'collegiate circa 1900's' where the common idea was 'rustics' are base, instinctual, animalistic creatures. Might want to get that checked anon, it's p.toxic
>>9709690What are considered "top brands" with this style?
>>9716645Lmao what? Nayrt but that's clearly not what anon meant. People from all walks of life act/say things on impulse all the damn time, especially when they're surprised, as they often are when they see something they're not used to, like lolita fashion. And sometimes some of these people are irrationally aggressive in a way that they wouldn't be when dealing with anything else because again, they're not thinking things through.Nice reach though.
>>9716649i hope youre a well meaning BF trying to look up this shit for your GF for xmas or something
When I go out in full lolita I get a mixture of compliments and negative reactions, although mostly compliments. But if I go out with my outfit covered by either one of my long lolita coats, I get absolutely showered with nothing but compliments and questions where I got it. I usually get only 2-5 interactions a day in normal lolita but I was out for a few hours today and twelve people came up to me to ask me about my BtSSB coat.Helps to make up for the fact I'd spent half an hour picking an outfit but it was so cold I couldn't take off my coat all day, I guess.
This happened a couple weeks ago.>On Christmas outing with comm members, we're all wearing loli>Normie guy approaches us and asks what we're dressed up for>"This is just a fashion we like">he thinks it's dd/lg,and tells us it's "wrong to do sexual things in public">we all try to explain it's not a sexual thing>it gets awkward really fast>say "Yeah, personally, I prefer wearing romper onesies with my diapers!”>comm members burst into shock and laughter>normie guy turns beet red and walks off, probably realizing how ignorant and dumb he looked>comm leader later talks to me about being more polite to outsiders, but it was no biggie>everything went better than expected
>>9722159Holy shit lmao
>>9722159Oh my god, thank you for the link
>>9722124omg anon, honey, no.
>>9722163>>9722196>>9722206I’m pretty sure the second post is trolling but part of me wants to believe it’s legit.