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Has Cartman ever done anything genuinely good with no selfish motivations?
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>>103499481
Moonlighted as a superhero.
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>>103499481
well he did try to kill the jews
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Hiding the kitties in his attic
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>>103499508
So that people would praise him.
When he didn't get his way he awakened Cthulhu.
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>>103499528
this. thread over
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>>103499481
I was tempted to say bringing Token and Nichole together, but really he only did that because HE thought they were cute together
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Also, helping Stan's sister in the meteor episodes
>>103499560
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>>103499481
there is that time, during that "baby-sit an egg" test, where he was being a parent with an other girl in his class, where he broke it when it was supposed to guard it and fully owned his action and tell it was all his fault and not the fault of her partner.
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>>103499481
Yes. He helped Shelly when Skylar dumped her for not putting out. He had nothing to gain from doing that and easily could have blackmailed her with the recording he'd made, but he didn't do that. He even gave her a cute little pep talk, it was adorable.

Episode was Cat Orgy.
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>>103499579
He only did that to try and bargain for a C
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>>103499579
That was only half-nice, since he figured his only options were both he and Heidi failing, or him failing and Heidi passing which, since they were graded together, would average in a C- for both of them.

But that's better than trying to frame his partner and claim he should still get an A because he did the right thing and told the truth. Or something like that. So I give him a C- in goodness.
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>>103499574
>>103499595
>
That was before he became a sociopath to be fair
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>>103499528
I liked how prickly he was about it.
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>>103499655
He was only doing that for himself like
>>103499596
said, so that doesn't qualify for what OP said. It wasn't if he did anything nice period, it was if it was genuine and with no selfish motives- which was not the case
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Help stan out in the veal episode near the end basically saved his life
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>>103499481
He helped Jimmy with trying to get rid of his boner by having sex.
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>>103499706
He likes Stan the most
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>>103499724
I thought he likes Kenny the most despite Kenny being the poor one.
Not that Kenny even shows up in episodes anymore.
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>>103499809
I thought so too, but then again he didn't;t give a shit about his death in Best Friends Forever. Or maybe it's more that although Cartman can like people, he never genuinely cares about them the way most would
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>>103499702
>>103499655
Are you just making suppositions, there, or is it confirmed? Because if it isn't, we can as well assume he was doing it honestly.
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>>103499702
>>103499706
Do you remember if he had any ulterior motive in helping get Wilzyx to the moon because that's another one I'm leaning toward him just doing it to help out. But I don't remember enough specific details.
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>>103499851
It's literally implied that he only did it to average out a c-, just rewatch the ep. It's really obvious
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>>103499523
Everyone would benefit from that, specially him.
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>>103499926
>It's literally implied
How?
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>>103499926
That's also why he doesn't get why Garrison gives him an A, and automatically believes he wants something in exchange for it- because he doesn't understand people not wanting something in return for a good deed (he's selfish)
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>>103499926
Looking at it, it look more like he has acknowledged it was his fault and is ready to pay for it.
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>>103499943
Again, rewatch the episode. And:
>>103499958
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>>103499528

Yup. It's like Lobo and space dolphins.
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>>103499964
Not really. Most people who watch it weren't shocked at his nice behavior, because they understood he was doing it for himself. He wouldn't of mentioned averaging out the score if that wasn't his intent all along...I guess it's not obvious to everyone?
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>>103499972
>>103499958
Again, assumption, I am asking for actual trail of evidence pointing to it. Not even something direct.

he could just be as surprised because he expected to fail completely.
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>>103500004
>He wouldn't of mentioned averaging out the score
Oh, okay, I guess that's actually enough to prove your point.

Forget >>103500011
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>>103499560
don't be a fucking buzzkill
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>>103499809
Cartman's relationship pecking order, as I recall it:
>Himself
.
.
.
>Stan
>Liane
>Kenny
>Passing acquaintances like Craig, Scott M., etc.
>Heidi(?)
>Butters
>Almost anyone else
>Kyle (< This is where enemy starts)
>Wendy
>Sheila
>Hippies

The only one I'd say he actively likes is Stan for some weird reason. He's gone out of his way for him more often and ripped on him way less than Kenny or even Liane. I'm not including animals or toys in that because then I have to add in cats and pigs and dolls and game systems and the whole thing gets too complicated.

If I were gonna include deceased side characters I'd put Mr. Jefferson and Chef above Stan
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>>103500079
On what planet does Cartman hate Kyle less than his mother and Wendy?
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>>103500111
He sang a whole song about what a bitch Sheila was. It was really catchy. And she put that chip in him. I just figured he absolutely loathes Sheila and the Ur-Jew.

And while Cartman never passes up a chance to shit on Kyle, he also never passes up a chance to shit on Wendy outside of one instance. Cartman actively hangs out and teams up with Kyle waaay more often than he tolerates Wendy's presence. He'll go to similar lengths to torment either of them but he has more goodwill built up with Kyle than he does with her. For a good example, look at how he treats them both in TFBW.
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>>103500153
If you're gonna use the excuse that he hangs out with him, you have to keep in mind that this is far and few in-between, and basically only superficial level friendship. Cartman's top priority (besides himself) is entertainment; although he finds the suffering of others to be amusing, it's not all he enjoys. Cartman will put past hatred if it means simply having fun via roleplaying, going to the movies, playing video games etc, but this doesn't cancel out his hatred for Kyle. In regards to teaming up, Cartman will (again) put past hatred/basically anything in order to achieve his goal. What benefits him ultimately comes first.

(Also, he's been far more cruel to Kyle than he ever has with Wendy, and literally aspires to see him in pain/tears/humiliation. So...yeah)
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>>103500153
He constantly insulted Kyle in FBW- more so than with Wendy. Look back at the dialogue. Not to mention their fight at the end?
>He'll go to similar lengths to torment either of them
This is blatantly untrue. Cartman has never fantasized seeing Wendy cry like he has with Kyle, nor does he get paranoid of her attempting to ruin his life like he thinks of Kyle on numerous (The Poor Kid, Doubling Down, Insecurity) occasions.
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>>103500153
There's no evidence that he hates Shelia more than Kyle. He usually only brings her up specifically TO piss off Kyle. Also, neither Shelia or Wendy is on Cartman's shit list in FBW...but guess who is number one on his list?
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>>103500181
I see where you're coming from, but I see Cartman and Kyle's relationship as having higher highs and lower lows, and therefore more ambiguous, as opposed to Wendy who he just hates, and not even in a way that makes him seek her out like Kyle, he just cannot stand her period. Sheila he's only willing to tolerate if it'll help him mess with Kyle, otherwise I'd put her in the same pure negative zone.

Yes, Cartman is meaner to Kyle, but to me context matters more than just raw hate points.
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>>103500298
>He usually only brings her up specifically TO piss off Kyle
That's part of my evidence. He clearly dislikes her and is only willing to interact with her to mess with Kyle. That suggests to me he's more invested in Kyle than he is in her and doesn't like her. The only argument here is that he's done worse to Kyle but in Eric's mind, does that even matter? He did that for himself.
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>>103500247
Yeah but does he say one nice thing to Wendy? Or even neutral thing?
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>>103500325
Context is that he gets off on Kyle's reactions (Smug Alert) more than anyone else. This doesn't mean he doesn't hate Kyle...because he does, and why he's fantasized about killing him more than anyone.

He likes being around Kyle for that sole reason. Not because of his personality, or some inherent trait that Cartman likes.That's context.
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>>103500362
Hatred causes investment. He simply dislikes Wendy and Shelia more than anything
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>>103500377
He called her smart and hard working in Safe Space
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>>103500377
He said she was "awesome" and that he wanted to be her friend in breast cancer show ever. But that was just for manipulation

He says semi nice things about Kyle but that's literally only to get Kyle on his side the majority of those situations ie manipulation
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>>103500362
>He clearly dislikes her
Yeah, just that- he dislikes her. But he doesn't genuinely hate her. Dislike often goes hand in hand with indifference, but hatred brings out obsession.
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>>103500394
Yes so it's love to hate vs. just hate. I think we simply interpret that differently, assign different values to it, but we both observe the same thing. If you prefer, switch Kyle to between Sheila and Hippies. Hippies stay bottom though.
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>>103500534
(Hippies for sure)
The thing is- if he rarely pays notice to Wendy and only once in a blue moon starts something with her (usually for the entertainment aspect rather than anything else) compared to Kyle who he has, at the most, base level superficial idea of friendship with yet openly despises him and everything he stands for...
well for me, the answer seems clear
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>>103499481
Hummels & Heroine. He helped create that song and dance number to distract the old folks at Grandpa Marsh's nursing home giving Stan the chance to steal from the evil grandma and help his grandfather. Neither Kyle nor Kenny wanted to help, while Cartman came up with the distraction.
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>>103500534
>>103500615
Good read, thanks anons.
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>>103499958
To be fair he was right, Garrison was doing it out of selfishness.
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>>103500849
The point is that Cartman actually was doing it out of selfishness, not that Garrison wasn't selfish either
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I think the reason Cartman and Stan get along is because Stan thinks Cartman as being really entertaining while Cartman knows Stan is the only one who can tolerate his bullshit.

Really, they are far better friends then Stan/Kyle. I can't think of a single moment where Cartman didn't ditch Stan unless it was under the influence of KAHL.
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>>103500615
Cartman has a superficial friendship with almost all the boys, including Kyle. He may not have one with Wendy because elementary school boys typically don't have friendships with girls at that age (also, Cartman is a sexist and most likely assumes only boys make friends with boys and vice versa).

If Wendy was a boy though, we could probably assume he'd have this base level friendship with her too.
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>>103500985
Stan and Kyle have their moments. Stan tried to get Kyle back from San Francisco in Smug alert and Kyle risked a lot to get Stan back from Imagination land.

Cartman hasn't risked his life for anyone's for any non selfish reason I can think of.
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>>103501053
Stan in Fun with Veal.
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>>103499481
What about the time he went into San Francisco to save Kyle for the smug? It’s been years since I saw that episode, so I honestly can’t remember why he did it.
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>>103501215
Are you


are you serious
He did it solely so he could have someone to rip on again they literally said it in the episode
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>>103501215
Not trying to be a dick but in the amount of time it took for you to search up a pic for that episode you could have easily checked to see what his motives were
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>>103501415
>>103501439
Cartman SAID it was because he wanted to rip on Kyle, but I highly doubt it was that simple. It felt like he just didn't want to admit to himself that he cared about Kyle. At the very least, it was pretty clear that the situation was not as clear-cut as you guys are making it.
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he was genuinely trying to help when he got blamed for the trolling problem a couple seasons back
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>>103500079
No Mr. Kitty, really? Pretty sure she'd be just below Cartman himself.
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>>103501663
Nevermind, didn't read the addendum.
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>>103501514
Dude. Cartman didn't just "say" it, Stan (aka one of the voices of reason who often concludes character motivations) reiterated it. And Cartman's own actions showed it. And it says it on the damn episode guide. And all of the wikis.

We all know he did it for himself, come on anon.
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>>103501514
Cartman nearly killed himself to avoid the boredom of waiting for a video game console in Go God Go. Why is it so hard for you to accept that Cartman only saved Kyle for the sole person of thriving off of his reactions?
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>>103501514
>says it's simple
>thinks Cartman getting off of Kyle's reactions in order to feed his narcissism via negative attention and sustain his sadism via his sensitive outburst is simple
>thinks the cliché route of rival not truly and intensely hating their opponent is in depth

Would you also call Batman and Joker's dynamic simple too, anon?
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>>103501751
I forgot he did that. Wow, Cartman really can't handle boredom, can he?
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He cares about his mom pretty sure. At the very least he stopped himself from killing her in Tsst.
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>>103501856
I think we killed him with the truth
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>>103502053
Don't get how anyone can claim Cartman didn't actually save Kyle for the sake of ripping on him when Stan flat out says it in the episode? You can't even use the augment that Cartman could be lying at that point.

It's like they forget that subtly and ambiguity is not South Park's forte, and they almost if not always spell out character motivations. Guess people are retarded
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>>103502310
For your sake, don't ever look up Johnny2Cellos and South Park. You will loose your faith in humanity.
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>>103501712
>>103502310
San said it because that's what he THINKS, and what he sees. Cartman only THINKS he did it solely out of self-interest. It's like how he thought he blowing his funny fuse in How to Eat With Your Butt, when in reality he was feeling a guilt for giving that family false hope.

And don't forget, Cartman also chose to save Kyle's family too. I'm not denying that Cartman saved Kyle out of self-interest, but there's plenty of reason to suspect that he also did it out of friendship or human decency.
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>>103502517
Stan and Kyle, the voices of reason, both reiterated Cartman's motivations in How To Eat With Your Butt too, just like how Stan concluded Cartman's motives in Smug Alert. What you argued against contradicts your example, lol.

He saved Kyle and his family because Matt and Trey wouldn't ever kill off a main character's family- it would absolutely shatter the status quo. In a non meta sense however, why would Cartman risk saving Kyle just for him to be orphaned right after? Or worse- completely broken to the point of not being able to react...again, the sole reason why he saved his arch rival in the first place.

There's absolutely zero reason to suspect any reason outside of selfish dependency; I'm not doing this to be obtuse but it's simply the fact of the matter. You can either choose to accept it along with this literal post debunking everything you said >>103501712
or...not.
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>>103502517
If you really can't understand despite the overwhelming evidence being tossed your way, look at Cartman's responses/actions. Did he ever show a hint of wanting Kyle back due to Kyle being his friend, or missing other characteristics of him besides his over blown reactions?
No, he didn't. He only began to miss Kyle after Butters proved to be a boring replacement.

C- "I guess you Heebs can't even play video football!"
B-"haha, yeah, you're right."
C-"You know Butters, you make for a lousy Jew.'

This is the start of Cartman missing Kyle (or rather his reactions). Is there any other action that shows Cartman missing Kyle for a reason other than his entertainment value? No, because there's actually none. If you have a rebuttal to this and what I said above, I'd really like to hear it.
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>>103499481
He killed JB
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>>103503092
this is true.
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>>103499523
>>103499941
>Jews go out
>Anglos do the same thing and kill all the mutts

"Everybody would benefit"
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>>103505770
glad to see this conversation on a sp thread





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