>doing bench press>hot grill comes up to me and ask how much longer I'll be on the bench>tell her loudly that I have a girlfriend>walked away leaving the weight racked on the bar>don't actually have a girlfriend
>all racks in use>guy asks if he can work in with me>say 'no'
>>40764388how do you do that?
>doing rack pulls>dyel comes upto me>hey all the bars are in use how many reps you got left on that one?>oh just one more>slam the bar hard into the pins on the descent - bending it horribly>all yours buddy
>receptionist tells me to have a nice day>I don'tD E M O N I A C
> asian kid benching 185 for singles> "Hey can I work in?" > "sure"> 10 reps reverse grip
>doing lat pulldowns>dude comes up to me and asks if I'm almost done>y-yeah just one more set>actually had 2 more>see him waiting for my one set and then leaving when I start the other onelmao what a faggot
>>40764443absolutely savage my man, probably ruined her week
>See manlet waiting to use the squat rack after me>Rerack bar on the highest rests
>DYEL using bench press>walk over, "hey brah can i work in.. Brah">proceed to OHP his weight>laughing so hard tears flow down my cheeks>commandeer the bench>tell him to beat itI miss seeing that kid around. He killed himself shortly after this incident.
>go up to one of the benches>ask a guy right next to it if anyone's using it>"No">"Alright">go somewhere elseCOME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS
>gym has signs up saying STRICTLY NO CHALK>secretly use liquid chalk as it leaves no marksLET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
>hey can you spot my form on this deadlift?>dyel manelt asking for spot on lmao1pl8>sure>back more curved than a fucking culdesac>how was my form?>perfect keep it up!
>get asked how many sets I have left>tell them I'm done>I actually had 2 sets leftI MUST CONFESS THAT I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER
>guy asks me to leave the tricep rope on when I'm finished with the pulleys>take them off
>see teenagers in the locker room>get completely naked and start talking loudly while wagging my junk around.
>Squatting 4plates for reps>Grill asks how many more sets I have left>Tell her I've just finished and say it's all hers>Walk away without removing plates>She begins removing all the plates from one side>I know what's about to happen but turn around and walk away>Hear a crash, bang, some screams and a PT shouting for help>Carry on with my workout
>going to on base gym>qt receptionist politely asks me to sign in on the computer screen so they can track how many people are using the gym>pretend to sign in but actually don't SATANICATANIC
>Incline bench pres>Do it anyway
>tell people I have a powerlifting total greater than 1,000lbs>use my trap-bar deadlift 1RM in the calculation
>Talking to my DYEL friend about what lifts he can expect to get in a year>Tell him people count the bar in their calculations
>>40764358>french pressi dont even drink coffee
>>40764397My strategy is I tell them I'm going to be a while, and if they ask if they can work in I tell them I time my rest so only if they're going to use the same weight as me. I'm not the strongest guy in my gym or anything, but I bench enough to keep the casuals away (265 for 8 up to 305 for sets of 3).
>>40764419Wow, very devilish destroying equipment that you'll have to use some day
>>40765206fuck off summerfag, this is board culture
>>40765213>summerfag>not even spring yetDon't squish your pocket eggs on your way to squat your body weight while wearing sandals
>messages always on gym radio to rerack your weights>don'tI'M THE FIRESTARTER, TWISTED FIRESTARTER
>>40764553Fuckin lost it
>walk into gym>rape the cleaning lady to death>trip a ww2 veteran in the wardrobe, leaving him in seizures>piss and shit all over the place as I walk towards the freeweight area>brandish my knife and slash all the benches>break the mirrors with a kids face, effectively scalping him in the process>wrestle a conservative, virgin blonde chick to the ground and inject AIDS-ridden hobosperm into her eyeballs with a syringe>blow up a firecracker in a puppy's mouth>skullfuck an infant to deathBut here comes the worst part>don't tip the receptionist on my way outM E D I O C R E
>>40765344Pussy desu senpai
>>40765250>quoting a thread on the board currently>trying to prove he isn't summer
>finish bench >unrack plates and put them back where I found them>wipe down bench even though I didn't sweat that much >go over to dumbbells>me and another fellow approach the last remaining bench>I tell him he can use it>he insists that I use it>I tell him it's fine the cables are open and I need to do flies anyway >he thanks me, says he'll save it for me when he's doneA M I C A B L E
>rest day>go to the gym just to lay down on the yoga mats
>post on fitness board>370 pounds >50% bfM A N I A C A NIAC
>squatted in the OHP rack
>see overweight DYEL>deadlifting lmao3pl8>barefoot>take shoes and run while he is mid repN I G G E RIGGER
>squatting lmao3pl8>dyel comes up and asks for lifting advice>tell him SS+GOMAD
>challenge crossfitter to a pushup challenge>he gets 115ish and is struggling>nows my chance>lay on top of him and plant my protons in his body for future harvesting>he's too sore to fight back>say "full homo" afterwards
@40765448Being upset that someone occasionally uses his private boys club
>>40764443lol, implying she doesn't get that all day from young men who don't say good bye and you just go on your waymeanwhile the guy who is nice, gets her number and spends a few minutes getting to know her
>have the flu>cough on every piece of equipment I possibly can
>>40765810is this reverse bait?
>>40765568wow too far, you're evil.
>I watch people do things with horrible form that will lead to injury>and I don't say anythingI JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN
>dyel asks me to spot him>does 2pl8 on chest press>help him on the first rep, he does fine>stop helping him afterwards,he's struggling hard>"wow you killed that 1st rep man, you don't need a spot, I'll be on my way now :)">hear him squirming as I walk away>calls for help>keep walking away>bar falls on his neck>he diesE V I L
>>40764358>incline the press after already declining
>>40765858 na, not reallyif you think about it most people don't want to talk to each other, the one who makes an effort and tries to get someones number might actually have a chanceyou can never know what can happen if you don't take a chance
>>40766210doubling down on the baitnice
>>40766238>>40767151>6waitwaitwaitwhy am i wrong though? she is just a stranger why not say hi/small chat if she goes along with it
>>40764924Holy fuck this has me in tears
>>40765038I always say I'm an o-10 >I'm actually enlisted garbage
>walk into gym>tell receptionist I don't have my card>I actually do, just lazy>asks me my name>have to spell last name because it's complicated>asks if I want a towel>"small one">"actually, no, a large one">"actually, can I have both?">she gives me one of each towel>"could you point me towards the curl rack?">she points to the stairs>"have a good workout">"you too, darling ;-)">after all this, only leave a $6 tip
>ask guy who's significantly weaker than me how long he's been lifting while we work in benching together>he says 3 years>asks how long I've been lifting>I say 6 months >have actually been lifting two yearsI AM THE DARKNESS, I'M A MONSTER
>>40767326>get whole platoon to start signing into gym as O7 and above >gym gets better equipment because they think generals are going there every day>really it's just lance corporals DEMONIC
>>40767330People tip the receptionist? Where are you from?
>>40768772being new enough not to tip the receptionist....
>>40769196I go to a uni gym, and no one tips the receptionist. I've been to 24hr fitness and Gold's gym, and I didn't see tipping there either. If anything, I'm glad I don't have to tip tbqh.
>>40769226So when they smile you just walk past them awkwardly?
Threads like these are everything wrong with /fit/
>>40769538>>40769226>>40769196>>40769196>>40767330wtf is this tipping a meme? i have never heard of this or seeen someone tipping the receptionist, unless its with their dick
>Return to gym after a 2 week banI DID MY TIME AND I WANT OUT
>>40765162D E M O N I C
>>40764358are you retarded, she wanted to lift the weights not talk to you
>all the equipment I use is taken>cant do my workout>hit the fire alarm>now no one canthat you fucking normies
>>40764644i knew old people did this on purpose!
>>40769589you better start doing it soon bro, you're probably known as 'that guy' that doesn't tip and it could get pretty awkward
>>40767390wait why is that bad though?I mean it just makes you look insecure it won't make him feel badI had a bully in highschool, he was quite a big-boned guy, and one day I turned around and said "you are fat" and then he broke down into tears because he is insecure. Like all bullies. Like you.
>>40766174kek, will use that in the future
>>40767224what level of baiting are you even on now?
>>40769538I say hello, scan my ID, and go do my workout
>offer my gymbuddy some mr hyde preworkout>he dosen't know i emptied it out and replaced it with NOXPLODESATANS SON I'M BORN OF FIRE
>dont tell gf i love her>i actually do, a lot>she leaves for some fuckface dyel who makes romantic playlists or something
>>40770125Thanks uncle Tom.
>rack plates after lifting>put all 5 and 10 kilos on every possible spot>cover them with 25kg platesBAAL INCANTATION
>go to the gym early and replace a bunch of weights with plastic fakes>watch dyels get excited at their new strengthL U C I F E R I A N
>put back dumbbells of same size on opposite sides of rack when no one was watchingB E L Z E B U B S C H E M E S
these are hilarious
>>40769589>i have never heard of this or seeen someone tipping the receptionistFor the same reason you rarely see people squatting 4plt in most gyms: most people are pleb dyels with no understanding of gym-culture. I my gym, me and the other non-dyels don't tip every day either: we take turns buying treats for the receptionists (they're cardio bunnies so it's okay.) When it's my turn I buy a huge pack of peanut M&Ms or occasionally a gift basket of coconuts.
>>40770288Its not funny, it never was and never will be. Just as little as the squat plugs and the plate dispensers.Please just stop it.
>>40770319Then why the fuck are you here if you hate 90% of /fit/ memes? Are sips and brap more to your liking?
>>40770347This thread is funny. For the most part.The painfully forced meme's that I referred to are not.Just like brap posting. It was never funny, it's not even a meme, it's just a few people posting it because they know it annoys the fuck out of the rest of the board.
>>40770451>The painfully forced meme's that I referred to are not.Every meme is shit if repeated for it's own sake, but even oldies like n-no homo and counting the bar can be great if someone puts a bit of effort into it. Hell, I even laughed about a sip post once because the set-up was great.
>>40770451>Brap postingThen stop posting THIICCCXD asses, that shit is gross.
>obviously gay dude is hitting on me after I'm done a bench set>lead him on, ask him to form check my squats>he's making sexual references the whole time, I go along with it because why not>invites me out for drinks that night >ask a joke I accept his invitation>meet him at the bar and keep buying him drinks >gets drunk enough to invite me back to his apartment >as I joke I accept and head back with him >sitting on his couch watching a movie >starts coming onto me and I keep going along with it as a joke>he starts sucking me off and I let him keep going because it's hilarious>end up fucking this faggot all night long (pretended to be really into it)>next morning jokingly tell him I had a great time and we should meet up again soon >mfw I'm not even gayD E M O N S P A W N
>>40767396brilliant, I'm getting my platoon to do this, rah devil
>>40767396A B S O L U T E C H A O T I C D A R K N E S S
>few weeks ago>was on cycle >roid rage isn't a thing, but it kind of is..>doing dumbell bench super setted with dips>after a set of dips, come back to my bench and there's a grill sitting on it doing some bullshit made up Pinterest exersizes>she looks at me and says something but I can't hear her cuz headphones>roid rage>growl "WAS I DONE?!">voice wasn't my own, came out of the 7th layer of hell itself>this girl's eyes pop out of her sockets>I'm like oh fuck>"sorry, just kidding, haha" >leave the gym mid workout out of embarrassmentI see this girl there every day now.
>>40764443>Doesn't tip the receptionist
>see some guy squatting lmao half pl8>form is literal mud, knees collapsing>give him tip to push knees out and teist floor apart>his stability improves instantly>tell him to keep it up and practice more pat him on back after hes doneH E A V E N L Y
>>40764358>Trainer at my gym is warming up for a 1RM deadlift attempt>is attempting 405>go up and ask "hey man, mind if i work in?">Sure bro!!!>set up like i'm going to pull conventional>at the last second switch my setup and pull 405 off the floor jefferson styleP O S I T I V E L Y M A C H I A V E L L I A N
>>40769589If you're asking this...you're already basically shunned by every employee at the gym and you deserve to suffer
>take a shit at the gym>dont wash hands afterwards>continue my workout
>>40764358Why? What the fuck were you thinking? I thought I was the only one who does stupid shit like this.
>>40767396Don't worry, once they catch on, they'll move out all the equipment they got into the base general's private gym at headquarters/his house.
>>40770102What the hell is wrong with you? What about when you ask for a towel? That's honestly just rude dude.
>>40765164S A C R E L I G I O U S
>>40771642please be real please be real
>>40771765>guy sets up for 1rm diddly pull>does it, visibly happy>ask if i can try>sure>pull it sumo, rep it 5 times touch and goBLACKENED HEART OF DEVIL
>>40765471M A L I C I O U S
>>40770451I always laugh at brap posting. I just can't help it.
>>40766174Ok, that's pretty good
>>40764464This is why I always respond a few more. Not trying to commit to anything
>>40764492D E V I L I S HEVILISH
>>40764358>have lmao7inch penor>tell girls im embarrassed by my size>tell them its ~5 inches "give or take"mfw these girls will think a 6 incher is 4"
>>40770147FUCK YOU DELET THIS
>>40771784My greatest fear. It's why I made my own home gym, I still tip the receptionist. Love you, nana
>>40774842/U N H O L Y/
>>40770002>weak guy lifting for 3 years detected
>>40771770i fail to see how this is even an issue, they provide literally no service
>doing bench supersetted with tips>was a good workout>leave>don't dip the receptionist H E L L S P A W N I S H
>>40775475It's bait because these fools have no life or job outside of the gym
>>40771784>take a shit>run the faucet without washing my hands so people don't suspect anythingS E V E N T H C I R C L E O F H E L L
>>40766210He doesn't have a nice day. That's the joke, idiot. Not that he doesn't say "have a nice day" back. That he doesn't have a nice day like she told him to.Stop posting.
>>40764358>overhear new people talking about joining gym>hear one of them say "they have a lot of squat racks though">shout "ohp racks pleb">all of them look at me>wink and walk out of the gymwhy does it feel like everybody browses /fit/ but doesnt show it.
>>40764735L M A O
>set up every squat rack in gym to OHP level for me. ( far above the reach of anybody shorter than 5'10)>move safeties and accessories manlets use to climb it>Shout fucking manlets when will they learn. whenever I readjust the seat settings on anything.>place bar collars up high on a hook no manlet can reach.>set cable machines to highest settings>always shout Throw em in the manlet pit at the end of sets.>witness 3 people quit my gym because of thisD I A B O L I C A L B U L L Y
>diddly 1-2pl8 to warm up>make a hell of a lot of noise>people fuck off and go to other rooms>do my 6pl8 work sets, fairly quiet, without anyone fucking me offheh
>>40777171>people who meme on 4chan have no life>i'm here strictly for business purposes
>>40770147>>40774942how hard is it for you niggers to actually tell your gf that you love her? Jesus christ
>>407748427incher here aswell. will start doing this