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>doing bench press
>hot grill comes up to me and ask how much longer I'll be on the bench
>tell her loudly that I have a girlfriend
>walked away leaving the weight racked on the bar
>don't actually have a girlfriend
>>
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>all racks in use
>guy asks if he can work in with me
>say 'no'
>>
>>40764388
how do you do that?
>>
>doing rack pulls
>dyel comes upto me
>hey all the bars are in use how many reps you got left on that one?
>oh just one more
>slam the bar hard into the pins on the descent - bending it horribly
>all yours buddy
>>
>receptionist tells me to have a nice day
>I don't
D E M O N I A C
>>
> asian kid benching 185 for singles
> "Hey can I work in?"
> "sure"
> 10 reps reverse grip
>>
>doing lat pulldowns
>dude comes up to me and asks if I'm almost done
>y-yeah just one more set
>actually had 2 more
>see him waiting for my one set and then leaving when I start the other one
lmao what a faggot
>>
>>40764443
absolutely savage my man, probably ruined her week
>>
>See manlet waiting to use the squat rack after me
>Rerack bar on the highest rests
>>
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>DYEL using bench press
>walk over, "hey brah can i work in.. Brah"
>proceed to OHP his weight
>laughing so hard tears flow down my cheeks
>commandeer the bench
>tell him to beat it

I miss seeing that kid around. He killed himself shortly after this incident.
>>
>go up to one of the benches
>ask a guy right next to it if anyone's using it
>"No"
>"Alright"
>go somewhere else

COME ON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS
>>
>gym has signs up saying STRICTLY NO CHALK
>secretly use liquid chalk as it leaves no marks

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
>>
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>hey can you spot my form on this deadlift?
>dyel manelt asking for spot on lmao1pl8
>sure
>back more curved than a fucking culdesac
>how was my form?
>perfect keep it up!
>>
>get asked how many sets I have left
>tell them I'm done
>I actually had 2 sets left

I MUST CONFESS THAT I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER
>>
>guy asks me to leave the tricep rope on when I'm finished with the pulleys
>take them off
>>
>see teenagers in the locker room
>get completely naked and start talking loudly while wagging my junk around.
>>
>>40764637
madman
>>
>Squatting 4plates for reps
>Grill asks how many more sets I have left
>Tell her I've just finished and say it's all hers
>Walk away without removing plates
>She begins removing all the plates from one side
>I know what's about to happen but turn around and walk away
>Hear a crash, bang, some screams and a PT shouting for help
>Carry on with my workout
>>
>>40764735
ABSOLUTELY FIENDISH
>>
>going to on base gym
>qt receptionist politely asks me to sign in on the computer screen so they can track how many people are using the gym
>pretend to sign in but actually don't

SATANIC
A
T
A
N
I
C
>>
>Incline bench pres
>Do it anyway
>>
>>40765083
JUST
>>
>>40764492
Lmao
>>
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>tell people I have a powerlifting total greater than 1,000lbs
>use my trap-bar deadlift 1RM in the calculation
>>
>Talking to my DYEL friend about what lifts he can expect to get in a year
>Tell him people count the bar in their calculations
>>
>>40764358
>french press
i dont even drink coffee
>>
>>40764397
My strategy is I tell them I'm going to be a while, and if they ask if they can work in I tell them I time my rest so only if they're going to use the same weight as me. I'm not the strongest guy in my gym or anything, but I bench enough to keep the casuals away (265 for 8 up to 305 for sets of 3).
>>
>>40764419
Wow, very devilish destroying equipment that you'll have to use some day
>>
>>40765206
fuck off summerfag, this is board culture
>>
>>40764492
ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL
>>
>>40765213
>summerfag
>not even spring yet
Don't squish your pocket eggs on your way to squat your body weight while wearing sandals
>>
>messages always on gym radio to rerack your weights
>don't

I'M THE FIRESTARTER, TWISTED FIRESTARTER
>>
>>40765250
kys
>>
>>40764553
Fuckin lost it
>>
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>walk into gym
>rape the cleaning lady to death
>trip a ww2 veteran in the wardrobe, leaving him in seizures
>piss and shit all over the place as I walk towards the freeweight area
>brandish my knife and slash all the benches
>break the mirrors with a kids face, effectively scalping him in the process
>wrestle a conservative, virgin blonde chick to the ground and inject AIDS-ridden hobosperm into her eyeballs with a syringe
>blow up a firecracker in a puppy's mouth
>skullfuck an infant to death

But here comes the worst part

>don't tip the receptionist on my way out

M E D I O C R E
>>
>>40765344
Pussy desu senpai
>>
Bump
>>
>>40765250
>quoting a thread on the board currently
>trying to prove he isn't summer
>>
>finish bench
>unrack plates and put them back where I found them
>wipe down bench even though I didn't sweat that much
>go over to dumbbells
>me and another fellow approach the last remaining bench
>I tell him he can use it
>he insists that I use it
>I tell him it's fine the cables are open and I need to do flies anyway
>he thanks me, says he'll save it for me when he's done

A M I C A B L E
>>
>>40765344
edgy
>>
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>rest day
>go to the gym just to lay down on the yoga mats
>>
>post on fitness board
>370 pounds
>50% bf
M A N I A C
A
N
I
A
C
>>
>squatted in the OHP rack
>>
>see overweight DYEL
>deadlifting lmao3pl8
>barefoot
>take shoes and run while he is mid rep
N I G G E R
I
G
G
E
R
>>
>squatting lmao3pl8
>dyel comes up and asks for lifting advice
>tell him SS+GOMAD
>>
>challenge crossfitter to a pushup challenge
>he gets 115ish and is struggling
>nows my chance
>lay on top of him and plant my protons in his body for future harvesting
>he's too sore to fight back
>say "full homo" afterwards
>>
@40765448
Being upset that someone occasionally uses his private boys club
>>
>>40764443
lol, implying she doesn't get that all day from young men who don't say good bye and you just go on your way

meanwhile the guy who is nice, gets her number and spends a few minutes getting to know her
>>
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>have the flu
>cough on every piece of equipment I possibly can
>>
>>40765810
is this reverse bait?
>>
>>40765568
wow too far, you're evil.
>>
>I watch people do things with horrible form that will lead to injury
>and I don't say anything
I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN
>>
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>dyel asks me to spot him
>does 2pl8 on chest press
>help him on the first rep, he does fine
>stop helping him afterwards,he's struggling hard
>"wow you killed that 1st rep man, you don't need a spot, I'll be on my way now :)"
>hear him squirming as I walk away
>calls for help
>keep walking away
>bar falls on his neck
>he dies

E V I L
>>
>>40764358
>incline the press after already declining
>>
>>40764735
INSANE
>>
>>40764492
MEPHISTOPHELEAN MACHINATIONS
>>
>>40765858
na, not really

if you think about it most people don't want to talk to each other, the one who makes an effort and tries to get someones number might actually have a chance

you can never know what can happen if you don't take a chance
>>
>>40766210
underage&b
>>
>>40766210
doubling down on the bait
nice
>>
>>40766238
>>40767151
>6
wait
wait
wait

why am i wrong though? she is just a stranger why not say hi/small chat if she goes along with it
>>
>>40764924
Holy fuck this has me in tears
>>
>>40765038
I always say I'm an o-10

>I'm actually enlisted garbage
>>
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>walk into gym
>tell receptionist I don't have my card
>I actually do, just lazy
>asks me my name
>have to spell last name because it's complicated
>asks if I want a towel
>"small one"
>"actually, no, a large one"
>"actually, can I have both?"
>she gives me one of each towel
>"could you point me towards the curl rack?"
>she points to the stairs
>"have a good workout"
>"you too, darling ;-)"
>after all this, only leave a $6 tip
>>
>>40764443
y-you t-oo?
>>
>ask guy who's significantly weaker than me how long he's been lifting while we work in benching together
>he says 3 years
>asks how long I've been lifting
>I say 6 months
>have actually been lifting two years

I AM THE DARKNESS, I'M A MONSTER
>>
>>40767326
>get whole platoon to start signing into gym as O7 and above
>gym gets better equipment because they think generals are going there every day
>really it's just lance corporals

DEMONIC
>>
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>>40767390
DIABOLICALLY DEVIOUS
>>
>>40767330
People tip the receptionist? Where are you from?
>>
>>40765568

cruel.
>>
>>40768772
being new enough not to tip the receptionist....
>>
>>40769196
I go to a uni gym, and no one tips the receptionist.
I've been to 24hr fitness and Gold's gym, and I didn't see tipping there either.

If anything, I'm glad I don't have to tip tbqh.
>>
>>40769226
So when they smile you just walk past them awkwardly?
>>
Threads like these are everything wrong with /fit/
>>
>>40769538>>40769226>>40769196
>>40769196
>>40767330


wtf is this tipping a meme? i have never heard of this or seeen someone tipping the receptionist, unless its with their dick
>>
>Return to gym after a 2 week ban

I DID MY TIME AND I WANT OUT
>>
>>40765162
D E M O N I C
>>
>>40764358
are you retarded, she wanted to lift the weights not talk to you
>>
>all the equipment I use is taken
>cant do my workout
>hit the fire alarm
>now no one can
that you fucking normies
>>
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>>40765855
>>
>>40764644
i knew old people did this on purpose!
>>
>>40769589
you better start doing it soon bro, you're probably known as 'that guy' that doesn't tip and it could get pretty awkward
>>
>>40767390
wait why is that bad though?

I mean it just makes you look insecure it won't make him feel bad

I had a bully in highschool, he was quite a big-boned guy, and one day I turned around and said "you are fat" and then he broke down into tears because he is insecure. Like all bullies. Like you.
>>
>>40766174
kek, will use that in the future
>>
>>40767224
what level of baiting are you even on now?
>>
>>40769538
I say hello, scan my ID, and go do my workout
>>
>offer my gymbuddy some mr hyde preworkout
>he dosen't know i emptied it out and replaced it with NOXPLODE

SATANS SON I'M BORN OF FIRE
>>
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>dont tell gf i love her
>i actually do, a lot
>she leaves for some fuckface dyel who makes romantic playlists or something
>>
>>40770125
Thanks uncle Tom.
>>
>rack plates after lifting
>put all 5 and 10 kilos on every possible spot
>cover them with 25kg plates

BAAL INCANTATION
>>
>go to the gym early and replace a bunch of weights with plastic fakes
>watch dyels get excited at their new strength

L U C I F E R I A N
>>
>>40770167
bretty good
>>
>put back dumbbells of same size on opposite sides of rack when no one was watching

B E L Z E B U B S C H E M E S
>>
these are hilarious
>>
>>40769589
>i have never heard of this or seeen someone tipping the receptionist
For the same reason you rarely see people squatting 4plt in most gyms: most people are pleb dyels with no understanding of gym-culture. I my gym, me and the other non-dyels don't tip every day either: we take turns buying treats for the receptionists (they're cardio bunnies so it's okay.) When it's my turn I buy a huge pack of peanut M&Ms or occasionally a gift basket of coconuts.
>>
>>40770288
Its not funny, it never was and never will be. Just as little as the squat plugs and the plate dispensers.

Please just stop it.
>>
>>40770319
Then why the fuck are you here if you hate 90% of /fit/ memes? Are sips and brap more to your liking?
>>
>>40770347
This thread is funny. For the most part.

The painfully forced meme's that I referred to are not.
Just like brap posting. It was never funny, it's not even a meme, it's just a few people posting it because they know it annoys the fuck out of the rest of the board.
>>
>>40770451
>The painfully forced meme's that I referred to are not.
Every meme is shit if repeated for it's own sake, but even oldies like n-no homo and counting the bar can be great if someone puts a bit of effort into it. Hell, I even laughed about a sip post once because the set-up was great.
>>
>>40770451
>Brap posting
Then stop posting THIICCCXD asses, that shit is gross.
>>
>>40770533
homo
>>
>obviously gay dude is hitting on me after I'm done a bench set
>lead him on, ask him to form check my squats
>he's making sexual references the whole time, I go along with it because why not
>invites me out for drinks that night
>ask a joke I accept his invitation
>meet him at the bar and keep buying him drinks
>gets drunk enough to invite me back to his apartment
>as I joke I accept and head back with him
>sitting on his couch watching a movie
>starts coming onto me and I keep going along with it as a joke
>he starts sucking me off and I let him keep going because it's hilarious
>end up fucking this faggot all night long (pretended to be really into it)
>next morning jokingly tell him I had a great time and we should meet up again soon
>mfw I'm not even gay

D E M O N S P A W N
>>
>>40767396
brilliant, I'm getting my platoon to do this, rah devil
>>
>>40767396
A B S O L U T E C H A O T I C D A R K N E S S
>>
>few weeks ago
>was on cycle
>roid rage isn't a thing, but it kind of is..
>doing dumbell bench super setted with dips
>after a set of dips, come back to my bench and there's a grill sitting on it doing some bullshit made up Pinterest exersizes
>she looks at me and says something but I can't hear her cuz headphones
>roid rage
>growl "WAS I DONE?!"
>voice wasn't my own, came out of the 7th layer of hell itself
>this girl's eyes pop out of her sockets
>I'm like oh fuck
>"sorry, just kidding, haha"
>leave the gym mid workout out of embarrassment

I see this girl there every day now.
>>
>>40764443
>Doesn't tip the receptionist
>>
>see some guy squatting lmao half pl8
>form is literal mud, knees collapsing
>give him tip to push knees out and teist floor apart
>his stability improves instantly
>tell him to keep it up and practice more pat him on back after hes done

H E A V E N L Y
>>
>>40765344
ABSOLUTELY DERANGED
>>
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>>40764553
>>
>>40764358
>Trainer at my gym is warming up for a 1RM deadlift attempt
>is attempting 405
>go up and ask "hey man, mind if i work in?"
>Sure bro!!!
>set up like i'm going to pull conventional
>at the last second switch my setup and pull 405 off the floor jefferson style

P O S I T I V E L Y M A C H I A V E L L I A N
>>
>>40769589
If you're asking this...you're already basically shunned by every employee at the gym and you deserve to suffer
>>
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>take a shit at the gym
>dont wash hands afterwards
>continue my workout
>>
>>40765494
>370
No way
>>
>>40764358
Why? What the fuck were you thinking? I thought I was the only one who does stupid shit like this.
>>
>>40767396

Don't worry, once they catch on, they'll move out all the equipment they got into the base general's private gym at headquarters/his house.
>>
>>40770102

What the hell is wrong with you? What about when you ask for a towel? That's honestly just rude dude.
>>
>>40765164
S A C R E L I G I O U S
>>
>>40771642
please be real please be real
>>
>>40769999
Checked
>>
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>>40771765
>guy sets up for 1rm diddly pull
>does it, visibly happy
>ask if i can try
>sure
>pull it sumo, rep it 5 times touch and go

BLACKENED HEART OF DEVIL
>>
>>40765471
M A L I C I O U S
>>
>>40770451
I always laugh at brap posting. I just can't help it.
>>
>
>>
>>40766174
Ok, that's pretty good
>>
>>40764464
This is why I always respond a few more. Not trying to commit to anything
>>
>>40764492
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
>>
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>>40764358
>have lmao7inch penor
>tell girls im embarrassed by my size
>tell them its ~5 inches "give or take"
mfw these girls will think a 6 incher is 4"
>>
>>40770147
FUCK YOU DELET THIS
>>
>>40765520
>triggered
>>
>>40771784
My greatest fear. It's why I made my own home gym, I still tip the receptionist. Love you, nana
>>
>>40774842
/U N H O L Y/
>>
>>40769999
Checked senpai
>>
>>40770002
>weak guy lifting for 3 years detected
>>
>>40771770
i fail to see how this is even an issue, they provide literally no service
>>
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>doing bench supersetted with tips
>was a good workout
>leave
>don't dip the receptionist

H E L L S P A W N I S H
>>
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>>40764606
>>
>>40775475
It's bait because these fools have no life or job outside of the gym
>>
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>>40771784
>take a shit
>run the faucet without washing my hands so people don't suspect anything

S E V E N T H C I R C L E O F H E L L
>>
>>40766210
He doesn't have a nice day. That's the joke, idiot. Not that he doesn't say "have a nice day" back. That he doesn't have a nice day like she told him to.

Stop posting.
>>
>>40764492
Laffin
>>
>>40764358
>overhear new people talking about joining gym
>hear one of them say "they have a lot of squat racks though"
>shout "ohp racks pleb"
>all of them look at me
>wink and walk out of the gym

why does it feel like everybody browses /fit/ but doesnt show it.
>>
>>40764735
L M A O
>>
>set up every squat rack in gym to OHP level for me. ( far above the reach of anybody shorter than 5'10)

>move safeties and accessories manlets use to climb it

>Shout fucking manlets when will they learn. whenever I readjust the seat settings on anything.

>place bar collars up high on a hook no manlet can reach.

>set cable machines to highest settings

>always shout Throw em in the manlet pit at the end of sets.

>witness 3 people quit my gym because of this

D I A B O L I C A L B U L L Y
>>
>diddly 1-2pl8 to warm up
>make a hell of a lot of noise
>people fuck off and go to other rooms
>do my 6pl8 work sets, fairly quiet, without anyone fucking me off
heh
>>
>>40777171
>people who meme on 4chan have no life
>i'm here strictly for business purposes
>>
>>40770147
DELEYE!!!!!
>>
>>40770147
>>40774942
how hard is it for you niggers to actually tell your gf that you love her? Jesus christ
>>
>>40774842
7incher here aswell. will start doing this
>>
>>40770451
BRAAAARPTR




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