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Has there ever been a time where you had to physically lift your way out of a sticky situation?
>>
no I just use my muscles for picking a barbell up and putting it back down again
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>>43129018
I was using a rope for autoerotic masturbation and I slipped and had to lift myself up on the rope to save my life
>>
>be 23 year old fuck up with a family who has no faith in me
>go to uncles house for grandmas bday
>uncle already laughing at me for not having a job
>askss me and older bro who is a twig to help him move a heavy plant up steps
>I say I got it, pick up the 225 lb pot up the steps but its ligbtweight
>uncle is impressed, spend the rest of the party bro-ing down with uncle larry
Lifting helped
>>
>tfw you never have been crushed by a trunk and had to bench press it out of the way
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>>43129052
>Cousin is drunk and acting stupid
>his gf at the time is trying to get him off the floor and into bed
>he is clearly going to puke and drown in vomit if he stays on the floor
>"ANON COME GET YOUR COUSIN"
>power clean the fucker off the floor and into bed
>he snuggles into his blanket.

>Cousin is 4 years older than me and used to bully me as child
>I am the captain now
>>
You mean like physically lift my pussy-magnet that some dumbass car tipped over
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>>43129166
>pussy magnet
>those decals and color

Jesus just trade the fucking thing.
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>>43129018
b-better safe than sorry, r-right?
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>>43129044
This is a cool story Anon, but don't worry about your family. Focus on yourself. Family should support one another during rough times, not berate you.
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>>43129018
nobody lifts after reading the sticky
>>
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>Last night at a local show
> Two dudes start fighting over a spilled drink in the middle of the crowd
> Get In between them and break up the fight before any bystanders get hurt
Some dude bought me a drink for it so ill take that as a win
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>>43129044
>>be 23 year old fuck up with a family who has no faith in me
>>uncle larry
Mother fucker stop pretending to be me on the internet
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>>43129266
Well, don't leave us in suspense. Did you give him your anus or just suck him off?
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>>43129266
DID YOU LET THE GUY FUCK YOUR ANUS?
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>>43129266
HEY!
FAGGOT!
DID!
YOU!
LET!
THE!
GUY!
FUCK!
YOUR!
ANUS!
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>>43129266
Anus! That's the part of your body I'd like you to post whether the guy from your story who bought you a drink stuck his penis into.
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>>43129266
Anal?
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>>43129266
>Some dude bought me a drink
Sooo??? Lol spill it girlfran! Did you let him go all the way? Into your anus? With his penis?
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>>43129266
PUT HIS PEEN
IN YOUR AYN
DID YOU LET HIM DO THAT THANG
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>>43129266
did you let him put his pee pee in your poo poo?
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>>43129266
That place where your solid waste comes out: Did you let him fill it with that place where his liquid waste comes out?
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>>43129266
Not sure if anyone's asked you this yet: DIDJA?
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>>43129266
Did his PEEN
Go in your AINE
>>
Why is everyone asking that guy if he let someone put his dick in his anus?

Also >>43129266 did you let him put his dick in your anus?
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>>43129018
>2 years ago
>/fat/
>something fell under my bed
>shared bunk with little brother
>crawl under to find thing
>ger stuck
>shitnigga
>manage to roll over
>parents asleep, brother at friends
>have to bench my way out
>lift that shit but it took me two hours
And that is why I started lifting
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>>43129266
DICK IN ANUS
DICK IN ANUS
DID HE PUT HIS DICK
IN YOUR ANUS?
>>
no this hobby is all to satisfy vanity at the end of the day
>>
>>43130673
When your brother got home from his sleepover, did you let him put his dick in your anus?
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>>43129018
>Go to party
>Get fucked up
>Go to mates house to after party with 2 girls
>Fucker lost his keys to his appt
>He lives on third floor
>Says the door to his balcony is open
>See a ledge with rails above it to a balcony on the first floor
>Mate puts me up and I have to pull myself up on the ledge while going further up on the rails, like an upright monkey bar.
>Proceed to do the same from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor using a chair.
>Do it again to the third floor using a vase to jump to the ledge.
>Break vase
>Break in in appt and open front door for everyone
>Girls saw this
>Mirin
>Got laid

I was almost blackout drunk so it was harder than you'd imagine.
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>>43130712
Oh no, you got blackout drunk. Someone probably took advantage of you by putting his dick in your anus.
>>
gays pls go
no homo
>>
>>43129018
>be at a friends house
>his father asks if we can help push his car(a small Toyota pick up)
>start pushing
He just wanted a pushing start
>starts rolling back
>everyone just watches as its about to his a concrete wall
>my inner alpha male kicks in
>I make a loud grunt and stop the truck
>everyone there mires

There was 3 girls watching.
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>Be in my 60's
>Lifting all my life
>Ripped.jpg
>Staying in hotel
>Have to carry 20+ firearms up to the 32nd floor
>Have to smash through plate glass window
>I'm sweating bullets, but I succeeded
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>>43130791
Curious. How big is the truck and how big are you?
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>>43130826
too soon
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>>43129266
Cool, good on you man. Did anything happen after that? Maybe some a dick going into your anus?
>>
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>>43129036
>>
>>43129266
poo in yoo?
>>
>>43130756
go homo
no pls
gay
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>>43129201
it's a stock limited edition you dipshit beta car-driving faggot
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>>43129266
>dick
>anus
>"yes"?
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>>43130712
>friend gets black out drunk
>tries to climb 3 stories
>falls
>dies from trauma
>we could've just gone somewhere else
>or gotten a motel instead of risking his life for some girls

retard
>>
>almost a month ago
>hurricane Irma coming right where I live
>parents insist I stay with them at my cousins place with everybody
>have to sleep on tiny twin bed, dad is in the same room
>turns out he has crazy fucking sleep apnoea
>call it quits at 4 am, hurricane has mostly passed, im going back to my place
>stuck in one of the those shitty baby boomer designed neighbourhoods where its one main road with little side streets branching off of it
>drive alone for a few minutes and come to police road block, downed power line, cant continue
>drive the other way for a few minutes
>ho lee fuk
>massive fucking oak tree blocking the road
>not going to face the shame of going back to my relatives' hell hole
>decide to MOVE the fucking oak tree
>get back home and sleep gud

I did a deed for society that nobody will ever know about
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>>43129018
>friend and I take his new puppy out for a walk in the woods
>get to this old structural dam with a 7-8ft outlet in the middle
>just snowed so the water is freezing cold and rushing through the outlet
>puppy decides to jump into the rushing water
>friend immediately jumps in after him
>friend grabs puppy and is fighting to get out of the water on the opposite side
>I need to cross the outlet but it's too far for me to jump
>see a gigantic log sitting a couple feet away
>somehow pick up this gigantic log and place it across the outlet
>run across and drag friend and puppy out of the water

It was some adrenaline shit but my as soon as I pulled my friend out of the water, he told me how absurd it was that I just carried a fucking tree to bridge a gap.
>>
> having a house party
> setting up the house
> fuckhueg solid oak table in the living room, easily half a metre wide by 2-3 metres long, thick as fuck too
> how can i move this on my own
> hmm
> WITH THE POWER OF SQUATS
> get underneath table, back flat against the underside
> brace my arms
> extend my legs
> quasimodo shuffle the 200+ kg table across the room
> place down gently
> feel the warm embrace of rippetits smiling down upon me

Another time
> be working on a building site
> building being gutted inside and out, tons of scaffolding up 3 floors
> afraid of heights but fuck it
> really awkward to get around the outside of the building via planks alone so I devised a path of climbing and swinging along the scaffolding
> got so good at it I could get around the whole perimeter of the 3rd floor in under a minute
Later on
> moving pallets inside the building
> floors being 'systematically' gutted
> go to pick up a bag of cement from a pallet
> gravityx500%.jpg
> floor gives way beneath my feet, fall through the floor but manage to grab the edge as im falling
> some dumb cunt had cut a huge chunk out of the ceiling of the room below and not told anyone
> hear russian bloke in room below shitting himself laughing
> 'are you of being OK anon? Heheheheh'
> thanking the lord of lat pulldowns i pull myself up and out
> tactically nope when I see a rusty nail sticking out that could easily have given me a gravity assisted castration

Theres plenty more, ive done a lot of dumb shit.
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>>43130850
He's a big guy.
>>
>>43131621
4 utes
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>>43129018
>February, cold af, out walking the river, watching coyotes and such drink out of a hole in the ice with my dog.. walk out to try to see how the hole is staying in frozen,
>stupid, ice starts breaking, dog and I slide into the water, I throw the dog out onto the ice toward the bank.
>doing this sends me under the water, didn't notice the current until I see the spot of sunlight drifting away above me.
>can't swim fast enough to get back to it... Well this sucks. gonna die. becoming paralyzed by the cold. cant punch a hole in the ice.. I swam toward the bank, get my feet sunk into the cold mud, put my back against the ice and squat.. nothing.. just sink my feet deeper. swim drift further to a gravel shoal, solid footing, do it again, at this point My chest was on fire and I was starting to breathe water. there was an excruciatingly painful, but oddly euphoric feeling as I finally leg pressed the several hundred pounds of force to erupt from the ice. then I had to face real cold. I stripped naked and let the wind and cold dry me as I did jumping jacks, pushups, everything I could think of to keep from freezing. after my clothes froze solid, I used a stick to best the Ice off of them and put them back on. made it home and laid in a cold shower (that felt scalding) for an hour or so before I could stop shivering. Got some nerve damage in my hands from the frostbite, but at least the dog and I both made it.
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>>43129018
Crashed my car into a river and had to kick out the front windscreen to escape. I owe my life to squats, literally.
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>>43129018
>>
>>43129018

This one time when I was underneath a barbell I had to lift it off my chest.

I was on a bench and had to press it really hard to get it up.
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>>43132729
This reads like an episode of I shouldn't be alive.
If this is real that's fucking amazing, kudos on not being a corpse.
>>
>>43129112
>>power clean the fucker off the floor and into bed
>>he snuggles into his blanket.
That's fucking cute.
>>
>>43132739

couldn't just roll down your window?
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>>43132920
THE DONT ARGUE!!! WOOOWWEEEE
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>>43133087
What's pressure?
>>
>>43129266
Did he shiggy your diggy?
>>
>>43133057
I mean. Kinda gay since he keeps up this thug facade but it was adorable watching him wrap the blanket around himself and then wait for his girlfriend.
>>
>>43131231
I imagine this must have been a scary / traumatizing event but I couldn't help but fucking laugh.

>"FUCK ANON HELP"
>HOLD ON I GOT YOU
>"d-did you just move a fucking tree?"
>GRAB ON
>'I JUS- WHAT?"
>I SAID GRAB ON
>"t-thanks man but did you just move a goddamn tree?"
>yes.
>>
>>43131231
Wow. Did he thank you later by putting his dick in your ass?
>>
>>43129018

>be late teens
>helping a guy my mum knew to clear his shop for remodeling
>he leaves for a bit, I'm working by myself unscrewing wall panels
>suddenly some supports snap and a whole wooden wall falls on top of me
>stick my hands out and just manage to hold it up
>assess the situation but can feel arms going
>manage to hook a chair with my leg and use it to prop up the wall
>push up with my hands and jump out of the way, chair buys me a second
>wall crashes down and demolishes the chair

My introduction to the world of work
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>>43131231
Badass mate
>>
>>43131305
>moved a table with the power of squats
Iktf breh
>>
>>43129036
>functional strength
>>
>>43129018

>went food shopping yesterday
>buying a ton of shit. More than I thought, which is why I had a basket
>basket getting too heavy to carry confortably
>losing grip
>hookgrip.jpg

Thanks Rip
>>
>>43131092

>this is how motorcyclefags think
>>
>>43133128
Rolling the window down is a lot easier than kicking out the damn windshield
>>
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>>43133746
my hero
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>>43129292
I bet this is the chill clothes guy trying to force another meme. Good luck honestly
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>>43131230
Solid post
>>
Industrial climbing and rope access is part of my job.
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>>43132729
Nightmare scenario lad. Congrats on surviving. Never go near ice like that again. My dad has some horror stories from his childhood about the same thing
>>
>bunch of mates hanging out at a friend's place
>I parked in front of somebody trying to leave
>they backed their back tire into a ditch trying to maneuver around
>two of us have 4 wheel drive trucks, can't pull it out
>get desperate
>2 of my bros just decide to fucking deadlift the back of the car out of the ditch
>should have done that from the start

And that's when I decided to stop being a dyel
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>>43134752
oh, got it. professional tarzan.
>>
>>43129266
Jew let him put his schmeckel in your heinie?
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>>43132729
jesus fuck anon
>>
With a single waft, my pussy can make a whole room smell like morning breath.
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>>43129221

Your family calling you out for being a lazy fuck up is probably one of the best things they can do. If all this anon is doing is lifting and being a NEET the last thing he needs is anymore coddling
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>>43131230
How did you moved it, deadlift style?
>>
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>>43130826
COMPED
>>
>>43130791
I think that you are a big guy
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I had to physically lift a girl out of my dorm room because she wouldn't leave and I wanted to sleep.




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