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/fit/ - Fitness

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Has there ever been a time where you had to physically lift your way out of a sticky situation?
no I just use my muscles for picking a barbell up and putting it back down again
I was using a rope for autoerotic masturbation and I slipped and had to lift myself up on the rope to save my life
>be 23 year old fuck up with a family who has no faith in me
>go to uncles house for grandmas bday
>uncle already laughing at me for not having a job
>askss me and older bro who is a twig to help him move a heavy plant up steps
>I say I got it, pick up the 225 lb pot up the steps but its ligbtweight
>uncle is impressed, spend the rest of the party bro-ing down with uncle larry
Lifting helped
>tfw you never have been crushed by a trunk and had to bench press it out of the way
>Cousin is drunk and acting stupid
>his gf at the time is trying to get him off the floor and into bed
>he is clearly going to puke and drown in vomit if he stays on the floor
>power clean the fucker off the floor and into bed
>he snuggles into his blanket.

>Cousin is 4 years older than me and used to bully me as child
>I am the captain now
You mean like physically lift my pussy-magnet that some dumbass car tipped over
>pussy magnet
>those decals and color

Jesus just trade the fucking thing.
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b-better safe than sorry, r-right?
This is a cool story Anon, but don't worry about your family. Focus on yourself. Family should support one another during rough times, not berate you.
nobody lifts after reading the sticky
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>Last night at a local show
> Two dudes start fighting over a spilled drink in the middle of the crowd
> Get In between them and break up the fight before any bystanders get hurt
Some dude bought me a drink for it so ill take that as a win
>>be 23 year old fuck up with a family who has no faith in me
>>uncle larry
Mother fucker stop pretending to be me on the internet
Well, don't leave us in suspense. Did you give him your anus or just suck him off?
Anus! That's the part of your body I'd like you to post whether the guy from your story who bought you a drink stuck his penis into.
>Some dude bought me a drink
Sooo??? Lol spill it girlfran! Did you let him go all the way? Into your anus? With his penis?
did you let him put his pee pee in your poo poo?
That place where your solid waste comes out: Did you let him fill it with that place where his liquid waste comes out?
Not sure if anyone's asked you this yet: DIDJA?
Did his PEEN
Go in your AINE
Why is everyone asking that guy if he let someone put his dick in his anus?

Also >>43129266 did you let him put his dick in your anus?
>2 years ago
>something fell under my bed
>shared bunk with little brother
>crawl under to find thing
>ger stuck
>manage to roll over
>parents asleep, brother at friends
>have to bench my way out
>lift that shit but it took me two hours
And that is why I started lifting
no this hobby is all to satisfy vanity at the end of the day
When your brother got home from his sleepover, did you let him put his dick in your anus?
>Go to party
>Get fucked up
>Go to mates house to after party with 2 girls
>Fucker lost his keys to his appt
>He lives on third floor
>Says the door to his balcony is open
>See a ledge with rails above it to a balcony on the first floor
>Mate puts me up and I have to pull myself up on the ledge while going further up on the rails, like an upright monkey bar.
>Proceed to do the same from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor using a chair.
>Do it again to the third floor using a vase to jump to the ledge.
>Break vase
>Break in in appt and open front door for everyone
>Girls saw this
>Got laid

I was almost blackout drunk so it was harder than you'd imagine.
Oh no, you got blackout drunk. Someone probably took advantage of you by putting his dick in your anus.
gays pls go
no homo
>be at a friends house
>his father asks if we can help push his car(a small Toyota pick up)
>start pushing
He just wanted a pushing start
>starts rolling back
>everyone just watches as its about to his a concrete wall
>my inner alpha male kicks in
>I make a loud grunt and stop the truck
>everyone there mires

There was 3 girls watching.
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>Be in my 60's
>Lifting all my life
>Staying in hotel
>Have to carry 20+ firearms up to the 32nd floor
>Have to smash through plate glass window
>I'm sweating bullets, but I succeeded
Curious. How big is the truck and how big are you?
too soon
Cool, good on you man. Did anything happen after that? Maybe some a dick going into your anus?
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poo in yoo?
go homo
no pls
it's a stock limited edition you dipshit beta car-driving faggot
>friend gets black out drunk
>tries to climb 3 stories
>dies from trauma
>we could've just gone somewhere else
>or gotten a motel instead of risking his life for some girls

>almost a month ago
>hurricane Irma coming right where I live
>parents insist I stay with them at my cousins place with everybody
>have to sleep on tiny twin bed, dad is in the same room
>turns out he has crazy fucking sleep apnoea
>call it quits at 4 am, hurricane has mostly passed, im going back to my place
>stuck in one of the those shitty baby boomer designed neighbourhoods where its one main road with little side streets branching off of it
>drive alone for a few minutes and come to police road block, downed power line, cant continue
>drive the other way for a few minutes
>ho lee fuk
>massive fucking oak tree blocking the road
>not going to face the shame of going back to my relatives' hell hole
>decide to MOVE the fucking oak tree
>get back home and sleep gud

I did a deed for society that nobody will ever know about
>friend and I take his new puppy out for a walk in the woods
>get to this old structural dam with a 7-8ft outlet in the middle
>just snowed so the water is freezing cold and rushing through the outlet
>puppy decides to jump into the rushing water
>friend immediately jumps in after him
>friend grabs puppy and is fighting to get out of the water on the opposite side
>I need to cross the outlet but it's too far for me to jump
>see a gigantic log sitting a couple feet away
>somehow pick up this gigantic log and place it across the outlet
>run across and drag friend and puppy out of the water

It was some adrenaline shit but my as soon as I pulled my friend out of the water, he told me how absurd it was that I just carried a fucking tree to bridge a gap.
> having a house party
> setting up the house
> fuckhueg solid oak table in the living room, easily half a metre wide by 2-3 metres long, thick as fuck too
> how can i move this on my own
> hmm
> get underneath table, back flat against the underside
> brace my arms
> extend my legs
> quasimodo shuffle the 200+ kg table across the room
> place down gently
> feel the warm embrace of rippetits smiling down upon me

Another time
> be working on a building site
> building being gutted inside and out, tons of scaffolding up 3 floors
> afraid of heights but fuck it
> really awkward to get around the outside of the building via planks alone so I devised a path of climbing and swinging along the scaffolding
> got so good at it I could get around the whole perimeter of the 3rd floor in under a minute
Later on
> moving pallets inside the building
> floors being 'systematically' gutted
> go to pick up a bag of cement from a pallet
> gravityx500%.jpg
> floor gives way beneath my feet, fall through the floor but manage to grab the edge as im falling
> some dumb cunt had cut a huge chunk out of the ceiling of the room below and not told anyone
> hear russian bloke in room below shitting himself laughing
> 'are you of being OK anon? Heheheheh'
> thanking the lord of lat pulldowns i pull myself up and out
> tactically nope when I see a rusty nail sticking out that could easily have given me a gravity assisted castration

Theres plenty more, ive done a lot of dumb shit.
He's a big guy.
4 utes
>February, cold af, out walking the river, watching coyotes and such drink out of a hole in the ice with my dog.. walk out to try to see how the hole is staying in frozen,
>stupid, ice starts breaking, dog and I slide into the water, I throw the dog out onto the ice toward the bank.
>doing this sends me under the water, didn't notice the current until I see the spot of sunlight drifting away above me.
>can't swim fast enough to get back to it... Well this sucks. gonna die. becoming paralyzed by the cold. cant punch a hole in the ice.. I swam toward the bank, get my feet sunk into the cold mud, put my back against the ice and squat.. nothing.. just sink my feet deeper. swim drift further to a gravel shoal, solid footing, do it again, at this point My chest was on fire and I was starting to breathe water. there was an excruciatingly painful, but oddly euphoric feeling as I finally leg pressed the several hundred pounds of force to erupt from the ice. then I had to face real cold. I stripped naked and let the wind and cold dry me as I did jumping jacks, pushups, everything I could think of to keep from freezing. after my clothes froze solid, I used a stick to best the Ice off of them and put them back on. made it home and laid in a cold shower (that felt scalding) for an hour or so before I could stop shivering. Got some nerve damage in my hands from the frostbite, but at least the dog and I both made it.
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Crashed my car into a river and had to kick out the front windscreen to escape. I owe my life to squats, literally.

This one time when I was underneath a barbell I had to lift it off my chest.

I was on a bench and had to press it really hard to get it up.
This reads like an episode of I shouldn't be alive.
If this is real that's fucking amazing, kudos on not being a corpse.
>>power clean the fucker off the floor and into bed
>>he snuggles into his blanket.
That's fucking cute.

couldn't just roll down your window?
What's pressure?
Did he shiggy your diggy?
I mean. Kinda gay since he keeps up this thug facade but it was adorable watching him wrap the blanket around himself and then wait for his girlfriend.
I imagine this must have been a scary / traumatizing event but I couldn't help but fucking laugh.

>"d-did you just move a fucking tree?"
>"t-thanks man but did you just move a goddamn tree?"
Wow. Did he thank you later by putting his dick in your ass?

>be late teens
>helping a guy my mum knew to clear his shop for remodeling
>he leaves for a bit, I'm working by myself unscrewing wall panels
>suddenly some supports snap and a whole wooden wall falls on top of me
>stick my hands out and just manage to hold it up
>assess the situation but can feel arms going
>manage to hook a chair with my leg and use it to prop up the wall
>push up with my hands and jump out of the way, chair buys me a second
>wall crashes down and demolishes the chair

My introduction to the world of work
Badass mate
>moved a table with the power of squats
Iktf breh
>functional strength

>went food shopping yesterday
>buying a ton of shit. More than I thought, which is why I had a basket
>basket getting too heavy to carry confortably
>losing grip

Thanks Rip

>this is how motorcyclefags think
Rolling the window down is a lot easier than kicking out the damn windshield
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my hero
I bet this is the chill clothes guy trying to force another meme. Good luck honestly
Solid post
Industrial climbing and rope access is part of my job.
Nightmare scenario lad. Congrats on surviving. Never go near ice like that again. My dad has some horror stories from his childhood about the same thing
>bunch of mates hanging out at a friend's place
>I parked in front of somebody trying to leave
>they backed their back tire into a ditch trying to maneuver around
>two of us have 4 wheel drive trucks, can't pull it out
>get desperate
>2 of my bros just decide to fucking deadlift the back of the car out of the ditch
>should have done that from the start

And that's when I decided to stop being a dyel
oh, got it. professional tarzan.
Jew let him put his schmeckel in your heinie?
jesus fuck anon
With a single waft, my pussy can make a whole room smell like morning breath.

Your family calling you out for being a lazy fuck up is probably one of the best things they can do. If all this anon is doing is lifting and being a NEET the last thing he needs is anymore coddling
How did you moved it, deadlift style?
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I think that you are a big guy
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I had to physically lift a girl out of my dorm room because she wouldn't leave and I wanted to sleep.

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