How do you guys combat loneliness and depression? I just want to be happy and find meaning/purpose in my life. I want to socialize but I'm terrible at it. I'm afraid I'm wasting my life.
I managed to beat it through slow and simple progression. You can't expect to instantly be able to socialize with people confidently.Start by waving at passing bus drivers since they're guaranteed to be decent enough to wave back. When you're in the gym locker room and about to leave say "Good night" so you can instantly leave if you're anxious about awkwardness if you stay. They'll simply reply and that'll be the end of it.Work your way up like that and start regularly talking to strangers and eventually you'll realize that there are plenty of nice, sociable people out there who can help you with your social gains.Godspeed anon.
Get off 4chan. Get away from the internet and video games. Go outside. Go to bars. Travel. Go to a park.
>>45625633>I just want to be happyLiterally what I always thought since I was a kid. Then I got diagnosed with depression lmao life's great .
>>45625633Try taking D3 every day for starters but then get a job in retail somewhere like Starbucks so that you're forced to interact with people.
>>45626036>falling for the jew """depression""" diagnosisDon't let anyone convince you you're depressed or you will never make it.
>>45626095>mfw i did this>realize i fucking hate people and want to kill half of the customersthanks america
>>45625984always losers like this giving advice which never works
>>45626164>complains about advice, doesnt even state whats bad about it specifically>can't give anything better himselfkys, obviously no one wants to talk to an obese acne riddled faggot like you
>>45625633If you live in a flyover state or smaller town, move to a bigger/international city. You will feel more comfortable because no one pays much attention to you and you're forced to engage with more people on a day to day basis. Before you know it, you'll have a growing group of friends and fun/cool shit to see and do that just doesn't exist in small towns.
>>45626203>kys, obviously no one wants to talk to an obese acne riddled faggot like younice projection right there expected from a retard who give retarded advice or believing retarded advicei'm actually 100% attractive near model tier who got mires literally every single day and if not for this chronic bad mood i would be drowning in pussy juices but you wouldn't believe any of it anywayadvice like this only works for normie in a rut like you not a real full blown depressed attractive person like me
>>45625633lol bro stop being a lil bitch
>>45626116dude, you do realize that at a neurobiological level there are some people with "hardwired" disorders, right? I have known a few people in my life that have real depression and you can't just "think" your way out of being depressed. It's literally physics that is creating an imbalanced disorder. To put it another way: some people are born completely unlucky with a neurological disorder and trying to act like that's not a fact of the physical world we exist in is pure naivety or willful ignorance.
>>45626116This. I suspected I was depressed for a long time, but I refused to get officially diagnosed because that would make it a reality. I decided to instead go into a period of isolation (counter-intuitive, I know) but this is the important part. Introspection. I managed to identify what was making me feel this way by dissecting EVERYTHING I do. The hardest part though, is not losing your mind. I came close a few times, but by force of will I saw it through.
>>45626251>trying to claim superior depression to someone else when you have no idea who they are or what they've been throughLow quality bait, must be really depressed if you're trying to bring down someone giving out advice to other people.OP, how old are you? Are you in school/have a job? They are way better places for socializing than the gym.
>>45625633Honestly I just realized that most of the people I work with don't mesh with me naturally. We're into different stuff, they're more about going out, spending money, impressing each other. I just like hanging around home, saving as much as I can, and lifting. They can be argumentative which I also am which causes tension. Basically I've just learned that being who I am isn't worth it with them and just keeping my mouth shut is less stressful than trying to be friends. Staying lonely sucks though.
>>45626116I got a diagnosis after my closest friends who were worried about me and told me to get checked. Lifting stopped feeling good man. Not getting the high after a good lift is fucking suffering, literally had nothing to look forward to. I understand the whole "depression is a meme" thing because I legitimately thought it was retarded 6 years ago too but now the jokes on me
>>45626343here's another retardbasically i'm just really genuinely pissed by stupids who give advice like thati wish this is bait, i wish that advice is bait but unfortunately people are that fucktardedbut you're right i shouldn't be pissed, this one is easy to kick unlike depression, but you people are still fucktarded
>i'm fat and a loser and i'm feeling depressed about my life and i should>i lift, got a job at starbucks real accomplishment btw and i talk to customers, lol depression is not real topkek on all those depressed peoplelol just be yourself dudei'm retarded but i have good intention even though stupid nonetheless so nobody have the right to call me out
I don't know man. I feel distant from everyone and everything. I haven't had a genuine connection with anyone since I was a junior in high school, and I'm 20 now.I feel like my life is never going to get out of this loop of doing shallow things to distract myself from the fact that I'm alone and deep down I feel like none of this is worth it.I just keep trying to grow and make life better one step at a time. That's honestly my best and only solution I can come up with.
>>45626254only chad ITT
>>45626352Like the other Anon said, I can't really "think" your way out of it. I used to be able to, but it got harder and harder. Hell I stopped feeling anything when hanging out with my gf. It's fucking horrible man. With all the JAHA XD DEPRESSION SUICIDE MEMES everyone thinks they're depressed & I fucking thought it was normal like a retard. It makes sense why my friends didn't find that shit funny now.Also OP I wish I could give you advice but I'm lucky in that I enjoy social interaction and it comes fairly naturally for me. The only thing I can think of is maybe you could try talking to people on the internet as a start. Just keep trying, you won't get anywhere without the practice and the social anxiety will just get worse and make it harder. Also taking vitamin D3 might help, especially if you stay home a lot.
>>45625984for people who feel this kind of advice work for you that means your life really is factually depressing but that doesn't mean you have mental neurological depression
>>45625984This OP. Start by saying hello and thank you to people are paid to be nice to you. Aka cashier, waiter, bus driver, etc>>45626027This as well. As much as people hate to admit it, 4chan influences you and if your constantly reading negative shit it'll start effecting you.
>gymqt adds me on IG 2 days after I create it>message her>we hit it off>talk all day, everyday for a month>she makes scenes sometimes, but I try my hardest to put up with it>I'd ocasionally walk her home from the gym before our first date>we had 3 dates>lost my hug, hand holding and kiss virginity>even met her mom>let my guard down and tell her sometimes I feel insecure and sad, but being with her makes it better>2 days later she messages me saying I care so much about her and treat her so well that it must not be genuine, that I'm only doing it to please her and that she feels that's not the real me>says she feels I've been too insecure "these days">says she wants to just stay friends>I try everything I can say to convince her to give me another chance>she says she'd love to be my friend, but no more than thatI'd give anything to hold her in my arms again. This week has been really hard.
You're not alone op. I have a gf that I got together with in the fall and it's really nice having someone for the first time in my life. I find myself lookimg up to her because she's 4 years younger then me but is almost done school and is looking for grow up jobs while I feel like I've wasted the last 10 years of my life doing nothing. How does one break insecurities and motivate yourself? I know I should really go to school but I feel like I just can't pull the trigger for some reason.
>>45626507She might be a qt but she's not wife material.If you want her back all you can do is act like a chad. She'll want to fuck you and that's going to be as good as your relationship with her could get. If she can't handle you at your worst she doesn't deserve you at your best.
>>45626515>wtf keanu just talk to people or say thanks dude
>>45626454>depression is never ever ever treatable, only my pain is real and everyone else is just culturally appropriating itNope.
Socializing and confidence requires training, the more you practise it the better you become and the better your confidence becomes. You just have to get out there buddy. Surround yourself with people you want to be like, surround yourself with stronger people.
>>45626600>only my pain is real and everyone else is just culturally appropriating itthat's what you people are doing you retard
>healthy, fit, famous, attractive, social people can't be depressedare all these niggers even serious?
>>45625984Can vouch. I started doing this last year and now I'm confident and sociable around strangers.
Sometimes you just need to find the right person to lift you out of that depression or even just encourage you to be more social. Sometimes that can be a woman you like, but more often than that it's a new acquaintance or friend you make, that has this uplifting, positive personality, or someone you just generally look up to. I guess I'm trying to say surround yourself with people that have a positive impact on you. Ideally befriend someone who could be your "mentor" in some ways. Some years ago I made a new friend and he turned out to be a massive Chad and he constantly encouraged me to go partying with him or just do crazy shit and generally go out of my comfort zone to try new things. Now my personality hasn't changed that much, I'm still more on the introverted side, but I am just more comfortable in any situation, especially social ones and I have a much more positive attitude.
Go outside, leave your apartment and say hi to 5 people.
>>45625633you combat depression by believing you're part of something bigger than yourself. It will give you inspiration/motivation and meaning. This is why religions are awesome. Name me a single person you know that's religious and depressed. You can't.But you don't have to follow the 3000 year old memes. It doesn't have to be religion. It could be a mindset...an era, a way of thinking...your genetics...respect of your family tree, family, brother...anything you know is "an absolute of life" that's not a mere meme like an anime character or some stupid shit. It has to be something that's very important to you OBJECTIVELY and BIG.Once you find that, you won't be depressed. ANd once you're not depressed you won't be lonely and a sadcunt.You will socialize and enjoy life. Be a sick cunt man not a sadcunt
Practice wearing a smile. Learn to take interest in what others are doing and who they are. Start out by keeping an eye out for someone who looks like they're starved for social contact; an old person, a homeless person, someone like that. Smile at them and say "hey, how are you?" Or "hey, I like your _____". Ask them about themselves (what do you like to do, I noticed [something abnormal that they may see as special or unique to them], what do you think about [local politics] etc). Let them talk. People who are starved for social contact will usually do all the talking and all you have to do is listen. Try to remember what they're saying and ask questions about it ("oh, how did that make you feel?", "how long have you been doing that for?", etc).Keep a smile on your face always, especially when you're feeling down. You will meet many people and have more good and interesting things happen to you when you smile.I like striking up "in depth small talk" with cashiers. Ask them how their day is, and reply with something like "that's better than bad!" Or "how long until you get off?" Or something.Basically, be the person you've always wanted to come up and talk to you.When you do this for long enough, people will see that you're friendly and charming and start approaching you, because they want to be acknowledged and understood and appreciated. Be a Brad. Being a Brad is truly making it.
>>45626251imagine being this personthanks for being not that person
>>45626788>t. low life who needs to be adviced to talk to other people and go outside and say thanks to cashier
the level of subhumanity in this board really shows on a thread like thisreally? saying thanks to cashier? that's the key to depression? you people even human? wtf? really wtf???!
>>45626555That's out the window already. I told her I didn't appreciate being called fake and that if she wanted to be my friend she'd have to work hard to regain my trust. Since that she:>Messages me 3 days later saying that she'll leave the plushie I won for her in a bag at the gym reception>Try to talk to her, find out if there's anything else going on>Ask her why she can't just give the fucking toy to me in person>She says "Didn't you say you don't trust me anymore? I don't feel like talking, bye"So, not only did she kill everything, she's acting like a stuck up bitch.
>>45626848Not that anon but she sounds fucking neurotic and cruel. Either get some cojones and end all contact with her (bitches hate that shit when guys don't chase after them) or just resign yourself to commiting emotional suicide. Your choice. I just don't understand why you want to be with someone whom you can't even be yourself with and support from. Also, you got her you can get someone else
>>45626760Cont because I used to be actually diagnosed with depression by a psychiatrist and was presribed 3 types of medication to "help" it. But I realized just how bad the shit was and gave up on it and decided to pull myself out of it and live with an actual functioning brain. Meds will turn you into a vegetable OP don't ever do them.Anyways the reason I say you will stop being depressed if you find something bigger than yourself whether it is God or something along the lines of "the era I was born in was masculine and strength was valued unlike now where soyboys roam around and males wear tight pants and you can't say "faggot" anymore and people are generally lazier and stupider etc." - and you want to prove to everyone that your "time" bred better and stronger men; whatever it might be...it will give you purpose.Purpose to become better in one way or another. And every step you accomplish towards betterment - you will be happier and happier and happier. Satisfied and proud. Maybe even make others proud of yourself.
>>45626744So that was the social aspect, as for other parts of life what helped me most was setting goals. First of all, having a vision where I see myself in x years and then setting attainable goals how to get there. Reflection is actually the most important step, because most people have no clear idea what they "want" from the future. It's also a good idea to address all the things or problems that are worrying you a lot. First you figure out if they are things you are in control of - in that case you develop plans to work on them effectively - or, if they are things out of your control you work on trying to accept them. Also make yourself aware of the consequences you have to face if you do not address certain problems. A bad tooth isn't going to get any better unless you get the proper treatment, so delaying it because you are afraid of the dentist or pain is a terrible idea, because it's only going to get worse. That's just a random example, but it gives you an idea. >tl;dr>set goals>address problems you are in control of>make yourself aware of the consequences of not addressing your problems (and the benefits of solving them)>pain and discomfort of addressing your problem is often less than the pain it will cause in the long run
>>45626935>>45626912>>45626777>>45626760as simple as talking to cashier
>>45626352What exactly happens when you get a diagnosis? I'm wary as fuck about going to the doc about these things since it'll be on my medical record forever.>mfw slowly getting more paranoid
>>45626507I've read your fucking story in probably 5 different threads now over the last days, fuck off you insecure fuck
>>45626952am >>45626760Never said it was simple. I almost broke altogether. Seizures from medicine is what made me "try" to give up on it and do it on my own. It is hard and nobody can make it easy for you. No single advice will "pull your sleeve towards success". I can however give you as precise of an advice as possible. Its up to you if you follow it or not. You have to pull yourself out of it and nobody on earth can make it easy.
>she dumped me six and a half months ago>dreamt about us being together last nightWhy does it have to be like this
>>45626906It's just probably due to the fact that I had so many first experiences with her (first girl who I had an interest in that I actually got the balls to hit on, first date, first hug from a romantic interest, first time holding hands, first kiss) that I can't seem to let go. But I haven't messaged her since that day (last thursday) and I try to post IG stories doing normal shit and looking happy, trying to show she didn't affect me, and she sees them all as soon as I post them.
>>45625633There's no such thing as being in a permanent state of happiness. It's a mood, like anger, sorrow, etc. And life only has the purpose that you give it. That might be depressing to some, but I've always found it to be incredibly liberating. Do things you enjoy with people you want to do them with and stop panicking every time you're less than happy. Just as happiness passes, so will sadness. As for social skills, listen to >>45625984. Pretty solid advice, since social skills are skills to honed.
>>45627154do you need to be told to say thanks to a cashier to cure your depression?
>>45626507Women don't want insecurity in a man. They want somebody who can take charge and lead. If you display insecurity or weakness too early they'll only see it as a negative. I recommend working on these issues yourself, as they will not typically help.
>>45626315>>45626326>>45626352>>45626454>>45626952/fitlit/ assignment:Read Lost Connections by Johann Hari.
>How do you guys combat loneliness and depression? By preparing for the biggest happening of our times
>>45627370i'll find another way thank you
>>45627180>hey guys am I proving my point yet? I'm really d-depressed by trying to be passive aggressive right?!Please make use of your depression and end it.
>>45627471all the best anon, never give up
>>45627540my depression centered on hating subhumans such as garbage being who need to be told to say thanks to a cashiernever once i ever think of killing myself, i understand what in the mind of dictators and serial killers now, most people are basically basic worm totally obliviously stupid and disgusting one hundred percent disposable, whenever i get depressed i imagine of hitting people>>45627545dude maybe you have nice intention and all but look at the guy, why would i want to hear anything from someone who look like that?
>>45626953I was wary of the same shit but what exactly do you think would happen? No one except for health workers would see it as far as I know. Nothing's happened since I got diagnosed, no one came up to me to laugh in my face about being diagnosed. Getting diagnosed is helpful because you get access to more resources that can actually help you out. So it's either yes you have it on record that you got depression but you also get help and work on feeling way better OR no one knows but you feel like shit and get nothing done and end up dying ritting in bed.
>>45625984>I managed to beat it through slow and simple progressionSometimes you gotta run before you can walk
>>45627646lmao what an edgelord
>>45626844LMFAO my sides. im fuking dyinglove you anon srs
Tfw I haven't talked with a girl in 4 month
>>45626116i agree with this, after thinking about it for a long time. yeah some people have brains who are poor at dopamine/serotonin uptake or whatever, but it's a bell curve so it's just tough luck if your below average.i've been down in holes you wouldn't imagine and there is no absolute bottom. you keep falling until you reverse it or die. you just need something to give you hope, genuine hope, that you can turn things around and you take it one day at a time and then you get ok again. looking back to the time i said i was depressed, i really wasn't. i was anxious and without hope.a lot of people use the depression tag as an excuse to check out of the world, of their responsibilities to others and themself. you can tell these people from their reaction when you tell them if they are depressed they should go outside for a walk. they'll spout the "exercise doesn't cure depression" meme, but they aren't depressed, they are just mopey cunts. a walk in a park will boost serotonin, even briefly and will make them feel better. but a lot of people don't want to be better, life is easier as a victim.i look at it like The Matrix. i can will myself to do anything. everyone can. (within the Laws of Physics etc for all the autistic cunts who can't get what i mean)
>>456270633 yearsI contemplate suicide daily since weeks, only reason I push forward is to prove her wrong and make my dad proud. Surrender to the suffering and pick a goal. I don't know how to be happy but I do know keeping busy is a decent distraction. But the nights...... There's no escape. Stay away, from alcohol and drugs though, I have some stories, not a good idea.
>>45626507Lol the reverse happend to me. I became friends with a girl at yoga who actually approached me. We went out a few times, the most we did was hold hands. Eventually she told me she wasn't looking for anything romantic and I took it well respected her decision, told her I really appreciated her being honest. We stayed friend's and fast foward 3 months and I was dating an amazing girl I met on tinder. Got together with yoga girl and she basically came out crying that she made a huge mistake and she has feelings for me. long story short I'm still friends with her and in a relationship with tinder girl.Anywho I'd move on bro. There's countless women out there who will appreciate you.
I combat lonliness by recognizing the fact that not everyone is disciplined, and to always be in pursuit of those that are so you can build your tribe. I've found met my mentor who follows a similar schedule like mine, and just like that, we clicked. Keep pushing, and find your pack.
jesus christ OP is way too close to me.I want to talk to people and find friends and enjoy it, but im bad at it. And worse, everyone around me is even worse at it.Its like im teaching them what its like not to be 100% pure concentrated autism.Its really hard to meet new people once youre at 0 actual friends. I feel like i cant make real friends cause i have nothing to say, but i have noithing to say cause i never do anything since i dont have friends.A disgusting cycle.i feel like its hard to guide a conversation towards something thats not completely boring small talk, or just talking silly shit. Doesnt help that everyone around me is just as boring and fucked up.