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You have acquired a time machine, however the destination you land in is completely random.

The year: https://rollthedice.online/en/dice/1d2005
The country (click until you get land): https://www.random.org/geographic-coordinates/

What happens?
>>
422, South East Sulawesi, Indonesia
I guess I'm fucked
>>
>>4488784
>1493
>conquistador.gif
>middle of Alaska
>fuck
>>
>576
>Tottori prefecture(?), Japan

Guess they'll kill the white devil.
>>
>1094
>British Columbia
Welp, nice knowing you Anons.
>>
1861 Munich. I guess it's time to start unifying.
>>
>1392
>Antarctica
Guess I'm dead
>>
>371
>3000km off the coast of Chile
FUCK SAKES!!
>>
>>4488784
>1265
>deep in the heart of cameroon
nice knowing you guys
>>
>826
>Iran
How fucked am I?
>>
>1812
>Linz, Austria
On the one hand im in civilization, on the other I dont speak Austrian. I'd give it a few weeks before I starve to death in the streets.
>>
>>4488883
Wait, maybe I could sell my bizarre clothes and make my way to England to profit off my knowledge of the future.
>>
>>4488784
>Middle of Quebec, 1718
Not that bad. I might be able to meet some fur-traders of friendly Indians and get to Quebec City. Of course, I could freeze to death, get attacked by animals, or get captured by unfriendly Indians.
If I make it to New France, I'll try to become a clerk or something, organizing the trade of fur back to the Old World. And maybe get a qt French gf.
>>
>>4488889
I think the Napoleonic wars were just rapping up, you may have to wait a few year before Britain is unembargoed.
>>
>1863
>"time to save Anne Frank"
>Himalayas
>fuck
>>
>>4488784
>116
>near Rostov-on-Don
what does that mean for me fellas?
>>
>middle of the Nevada desert
>865
Guess I'll just die
>>
>>4488903
What is the likelihood I find some British infantry still in Prussia? Would people have a basic grasp of English?
>>
>Germany, 70 AD
Salvageable. Could make my way into the Roman Empire and speak broken Latin, try and become a merchant. Could also get raped by a German "woman" and killed before I make it out.
>>
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>1207
>a couple of miles outside of Brasilia, a city that won't exist until 1960
When exactly did all those mysterious Amazonian agriculturalists disappear?
>>
>>4488934
It's not like nobody in Austria would speak English.
>>
>>4488784
Should've somehow incorporated B.C/A.D option.
>>
>>4488784
1028
Canada-US border

I guess I'll become an injun's white face friend.
>>
>>4488955
I also have a thick as fuck kiwi/australian accent what are the chances somebody would be able to understand me. Would they all speak like pirates?
>>
>>4488882
Didn't Mongols invade several centuries later?
>>
>>4488883
Too dumb to learn German?
>>
>>4488958
Nobody cares about BC
>>
>>4488968
Someone would understand you. There would be some Austrians who speak English, as well as some Englishmen here or there. Austria's a big place.
>>
>>4488977
nein zeit
>>
>>4488968
Most Slovak migrants to USA in the early 20th century spoke 0 English when they left home. You wouldn't starve in the streets lol, brainlet, you can use gestures and foreigners who don't speak the language are a common phenomena in history.
>>
>>4488984
No time? You'd have plenty of time seeing as you would arrive without any job there.
>>
>>4488980
Righto, so what do I say to the Brits? All I can think of is Waterloo, or would I be better off giving that advice to France
>>
>>4488991
Im a hell of a good stocksman
>>
>>4488784
>56
>Japan
fuck, right time for my field of study, wrong side of the Eurasian landmass.
>>4488882
I hope you know Persian or Arabic, because you have the opportunity to help Babak Khorramdin toss the Abbasids out of Iran and restore the Fire temples of Iran. I would fucking kill to swap places with you.
>>4488883
you could probably walk or beg your way across Europe to Britain.
>>
>>4488996
>what do I say to the Brits?
Enough to convince them you're not a deserter.
>>
>Algeria
>1962
guess I'm poor now
>>
>>4488784
Bordeaux, 1802. I will probably get conscripted or killed as an English spy. Or maybe I could get to Paris and try to figure out whoever is negotiating the Louisiana purchase and find some safety there. I speak German so I could also go there, but then I'd just get shit on by the French.
>>
>>4489018
how do you think theyd react if I tell them im from the future and show them my gshock watch and phone.
>>
>1885
>Shanga in Nigeria
Apparently had become a British colony by then.
What are my odds of surviving/getting back to England lads?
>>
>>4489068
Take off your clothes and say you got attacked by a lion and forgot everything and then pray they dont put you in an Asylum when you get back.
>>
>>4489038
Think you're mental and rob you probably
>>
>>4488784

263
Off the coast of Chile. Then off coast of Australia. Then antarctica. Oh boy just in time for the departure of the Xthculaqqi from Rigel 7.


>>4488882
Resurgence of Iranian dynasties from Abbasid rule. I forget which. Too early for Buyid, may be in time for samanid.
>>
>>4489078
Why would I need to do that? Won't I need money or something to get on a ship? That sounds like a good way of getting in an asylum (and sun burnt too)
>>
>>4489089
If you can think of a way to not come off as crazy then please let me know, also the clothes have gotta go unless youre wearing a woolen suit.
>>
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>>4488784

>1061
>Ukraine

Well now i am living in a golden era for the Rus
>>
>>4489096
If I was wearing a shirt and jeans I probably wouldn't look that weird for Victorian era? Could say got them made by some mad Nigerian lad?
>>
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>>4488784
>1644
>Guangxi, Hezhou province, not far from the city of "Guilingzhen", China

>right in time for the Manchu invasion

Time to start a civil war and kill 27 gorillions chink I guess?
>>
752, Southern part of Mali, Africa.

How fucked am I ?
>>
By some obscene coincidence I land within a couple days walk of the hospital I was born in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. It's 1334. I might be able to do alright. The Utes weren't particularly violent so I might have some chance to assmilate.
>>
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>>4489125
Maybe not jeans, they werent a thing until the closing of the 19th century. You might get away with a cotton t shirt if it doesn't have printing all over it. Everyone else would likely be wearing the typical popeye sailor dress, maybe with some gaiters for on land.
>>
>>4489146
Probably mostly tribal style civilisations there there and assuming you're a white westerner you'll prob stick out like a sore thumb and also not be able to speak to anyone.
+Diseases and that
+Dangerous wildlife
Not looking great
>>
>>4489148
I land in the valley where I-70 currently runs. It's wet, so I could survive just fine this time of year. I would walk east out of instinct, to see the place I grew up 700 years before civilization arrived. The other people would more likely be to the west. I have a lighter and a waterbottle with me, so I assume I have them with me. That might be enough to survive long enough to get used to the situation and make my appearance less inconspicuous. If I have anything else nifty or acquire extra food I would try and win myself over with the locals after seeking out contact. I'm sure they'd wonder who the fuck I was, but it's far from guaranteed they would just kill me. Learning the language would be tough, but I would want to communicate and at least have the option to join and adapt the culture even if I couldn't assimilate. Make a life akin to a fur trapper in the 17th or 18th centuries.
>>
>>4489186
But I thought there existed an Empire around that time ?
>>
>>4489180
1885 is the closing of the 19th century basically isn't it?
I reckon I could pass off as not super weird looking by wear a white work shirt and jeans.
If not might be able to get hold of some Popeye garms myself relatively easily?
Then I can get hop on a ship to Liverpool and go work in a mill making more Popeye shirts...
>>
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>>4489196
HAHHAHAHAHAHAA
>>
>>4489196
I'm by no means an expert but I think that's just the very beginings of empire in Mali so I just assumed most of the land would still be occupied by un-united tribes.
I could be horribly wrong though
>>
>>4488784
>1484
>In the middle of Congo
It was nice knowing you anons.
>>
>540
>Off the coast of Solomon Islands
Rest in RIP
>>
>>4489239
Repeat till you get land
>>
>>4488784
>1054
>France
good i have plenty of time to train myself so i can invade england with william the conqueror
>>
>>4488784
>41
>in the middle of Antartica
Well i'm fucked
>>
>511
>somewhere in Iran

What am I in for?
>>
>>4488784
>555
>Aegean Sea
Literally could not be better.
>>
106 in Patagonia
What the fuck is even going on there
>>
>>4488784
24
Southern Mongolia
What do?
>>
>>4489311
Sassanid Persian empire. Zoroastrian religion.
Might be at war with eastern Roman empire and steppe lads
>>
>>4488784
>862
>iraq
what am i in for?
>>
>>4488839
>anon starts walking south to join the conquistadors
>spends so long walking he ends up joining a North American Indian tribe
>>
>405
>middle of Canada
Well, at least i'd have comfy tribal village life
>>
>1483
>Kanin Peninsula, Russia
Pretty sweet, Ivan III was based as fuck.
>>
>>4488883
>I dont speak Austrian
>Austrian

Let's play a game called "Spot the murricunt"
>>
>>4488784
1800, in what would now be south-west Niger.
Fuck. Well, I'd try to figure out where I was... if I managed to do that I guess I'd try to get toward the coast and contact Europeans.
>>
>>4489333
Ride horses
Shoot arrows
Eat grass
Live in comfy yurts
>>
>>4489352
Hmm not bad
>>
>>4489344
Until you get a fever the following year and die
>>
>>4489349
Thats Nzealacunt thank you very much
>>
986
Antarctica
pretty cool eh
>>
>1271
>Western Australia, North East of Perth

Time to die, I guess.
>>
>>4489033
I think there was a counter-revolutionary revolt happening at that time. Probably an all round shit place to be.
>>
>>4489381
Cmon man, you've already got 10 times the innovation skill of your run of the mill abo. Primitive Technology that shit.
>>
>>4489364
I hate posts like this. It's not funny, it's not LOL DOSE OF REALISM, it's stupid.
>>
>>4488784
708 in the middle of bumfuck nowhere in russia... so yeah, i'll be dead before i'm born
>>
>>4488784
>1249
>Ontaria, Canada, on the lake shore

The good news it is that I have discovered America, the bad news is that I alone might be responsible for the columbian plague.
>>
>>4489400
Sorry you feel this way
>>
>1645
>Just a little bit north of what now is Vladivostok
I guess I'll freeze to death
Maybe I'll survive long enough to get to Korea
>>
>>4488784
>1245
>somewhere in the Brazilian rainforest, close to the border with Bolivia

>What happens?
I fucking die
>>
>>4488784
>1851
>Puerto Montt, Chile
What now ?
Did I bring a weapon or a phone with charger?
>>
>>4488979
I live in BC
I care
That's where I keep all my stuff
>>
>>4489239
>>4489241
>1075
>Right on the nose of Chad
Ouch!
>>
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>1727
Pretty sure I'm fucked. Gonna be impossible to get to the Nile before dying of thirst.
>>
>>4488784
>year 858
>middle of the fucking Atlantic
>>
>>4489452
>on Chad's nose
Rather be on Stacy's nipple
>>
>>4488784
1190, ~500km NE of Yakutsk.
>TheTurkicSakha peopleorYakutsprobably settled in the area in the 13th and 14th centuries, migrating north from theLake Baikalarea to themiddle Lena.
>The Sakha displaced earlier, much smaller populations who lived on hunting and reindeer herding, introducing thepastoralisteconomy of Central Asia.
>Sakha is known for itsclimateextremes, with theVerkhoyansk Rangebeing the coldest area in the Northern Hemisphere. Some of the lowest natural temperatures ever recorded have been here.
Fugg
>>
>543
>Just north of the Aral sea in Kazakhstan
How fucked I am would be determined on whether or not some nomad tribe would find me and what they'd do with me.
>>
>>4488784
1057, modern Democratic Republic of Congo near the eastern border with Uganda
>>
1548, the west of the Amazon
..I guess go west and go to the Andes? I could try and go east but that's a huge distance.
>>
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>>4488784
>913
>quatemala
Fuck
>>
>>4489569
Not that to-be-desu
>>
>>4489404
>Bad news
You just gave the natives more than 2 centuries worth of recovery time.
>>
1821, the middle of Siberia. Looks like I'm going to either freeze or starve to death.
>>
1619 in southern anatolia.
Guess I try to find someone who I can speak with, until then use hand gestures. Probably try to become a merchant, but will likely fail and be a peasant indistrialist. Try to do dumb shit to get power and probably die.
>>
>>4488784
386 AD, but it's in Antarctica. I'm dead within a number of minutes, not able to experience the glories of the Roman, Persian, or Chinese Empires.
>>
>>4488784
>457
>east of Mongolia

Grazing, I guess?
>>
>>4488919
neet worshipping Cernobog in a dark hut while others get pussy at Maslenitsa fest
>>
Strasbourg, 1924
Sounds pretty alright, right?
>>
>1816
>literal fucking niger
What do, /his/? I'm honestly at a loss.
>>
>>4489313
except for neets burning academies
>>
>1823
>the middle of Kazakhstan
What do?
>>
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>>4488784
Well... fuck
>>
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>>4488784
>China, 1791.
Literally the last good decade of Imperial China, lucky me.
>>
1867
Somewhere in Siberia
I'd warn the russkies about communism
>>
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>>4488784

>67
>Sakhalin

FML
>>
>>4489629
Wow, my country got noticed by /his/
The steppes are almost entirely under Russian control, and you could probably find a cossack settlement or a russian outpost if you wander around enough. If you speak either german or french, things would be a lot easier for you as a lot of russian officers also spoke these at the time; english would only get widely spread by the end of XIX century.
I don't think you have too good of a chance at cooperating with the natives, as most of them either lived in auls/grazed cattle at zhaylaus as their ancestors did hundreds of years ago.
Also, if you're autistic enough, a series of uprisings would happen in 1836-38 (Isatay Taimanov) and, more importantly, in 1837-1847, lead by Kenesary Kasymov, also known as the last sovereign Kazakh Khan.
>>
>>4489715
Thanks, that's an interesting read. I got Kazakhstan in 1978, anything interesting then?
>>
>>4489715
Are you Kazahk or Russian?
What do you think about the other Central Asian states?
>>
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>>4489625
>go to nearest english colony
>tell them your family was butchered by nigs
>say they worked for napleon or some shit
>they buy it
>get job at colony
>rise threw the ranks
>ffw 40 years
>become lord of east empire company
>use modern tactics to increase trade
>use influence to fund serbian natinals
>get serbia as an independent state therefore stoping ww1
>no ww1
>no ww2
>british empire never falls
>colonialism never stops
>no nigs and sand nigs in europe
>mfw saved western civilisation
>>
>563
>Oklahoma
Try not to get scalped I guess.
>>
>>4489792
>>british empire never falls
>>no nigs and sand nigs in europe
You mean the ones Britain brought in from their autistic empire?
>>
>>4489792
>use modern tactics to increase trade
I'm imagining some pudgy autist wearing a safari suit screaming "Buy low, sell high!" at a bunch of Indians and the retarded sons of British noblemen.
>>
>>4489578
Still sucks to be single-handedly responsible for the death of millions.
>>
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>>4489569
>go back to ancient mayans
>they think im a god
>start worshiping there whiteskined master
>get qt native harem
>fuckingsweet.stonetablet
>on deathbed
>tell them I will return on the shores of the atlantic with an army
>tell there decendents to worship them as they did me
>fucking kek
>>
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1284
San Luis, Argentina.

Hope the locals aren't too savage. Think I'll teach them Spanish so they can welcome their future conquerors in an appropriate manner.
>>
>>4488882
>Year:298
>location: Latitude: -45.49068, Longitude: -140.39269, Distortion: 2.03
>smack dab in the middle of the southern pacific ocean
I get eaten by sharks/drown while trying to swim to the nearest island, over 200 km SW of me. I don't even have a compass. How did I get out here?
>>
>>4489840
>tell them I will return on the shores of the atlantic with an army
>tell there decendents to worship them as they did me

kek
>>
>>4489828
It wasn't you. it was the germs.
>>
>>4489845
OP said to retry if you don't get land, you brainlet.
>>
>88
>South of Kanpur, India
no fucking clue, either go west and try to get to rome, or east to han.
Anything interesting happening in India around this time?
>>
>>4489754
Kazakh. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, pretty much every former soviet Middle Asian state followed the same patrern with slight degrees of variation: a failed privatization, one-party regime masquerading as a democracy and an alignment with Russia in terms of geopolitics.
That being said, there are some differences:
1) Kazakhstan's government fancies itself as a secular and a democratic one, promoting rather liberal policies (in reality, though, very little is done, not to mention the fact that our politics are arguably the most stale of the bunch, with Nazarbayev being in the post since the very inception of the Republic), while also getting lucky with the abundancy of various mineral resources
2) Turkmenistan is a literal dictatorship with almost Stalin-like levels of personality cults around their "eternal president". This has changed a little since Niyazov's death in 2006, though the current state of things isnt much better.
3) Kyrgyzstan has been quite interesting politically, since it had multiple independent presidents throughout the decades of Independency, as well as an entire coup d'état in 2010. Lately, though, it seems like the Social-Democratic party has finally gotten the upper hand.
4) Uzbekistan is like Turkmenistan, only a little better. It's also incredibly densely populated and has a large diaspora in the former USSR.
5) Tajikistan is basically Uzbekistan/Turkmenistan.
I'm in no way an expert btw, and all that i've said is merely a summary of my observations.
>>
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> Year 81
> Ceuta
>mfw when I can become a Roman citizen and become a wealthy politician with a solid chance to completely stop the spread of Christianity
>mfw when I can easily have a harem of qt slaves from all over the world
>mfw when I could potentially save Rome as we know it

Why do you do this to me, /his/
>>
>>4488784
>1378
>farthest northern point of Siberia
I'd fucking die.
>>
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>>4489841
>so they can welcome their future conquerors in an appropriate manner.
With lots of weaponry i hope.

>>4489855
>it wasn't me, your honor, it was the bullets.
I'll take 'what is intent' for 500, Alex?

>>4489828
See picture.
>>
>>4489792
>get serbian an independent state therefore stopping WW1

Serbia was an independent state at the start of WW1 you dumb nigger
You probably made it even worse
>>
>>4489891
>I'll take 'what is intent' for 500, Alex?
I don't think you watch much jeopardy.
Besides that, he didn't intend to kill them.
>>
>374
>Northern tip of queensland
Time to become a god to Torres Strait Islanders
>>
>>4489752
First off, you get to participate in the 1986 December protests, the single important event in the late Soviet era in Kazakhstan. Basically, what happened was that Konaev, who was an ethnic kazakh and an experienced administrator by Kazakh standards, having been in charge for about 2 decades, was deprived of his post as the First Secretary of Kazakh Communist party (basically the president) by Gorbachev in favor of Kolbin, who's never been in post in Kazakhstan. Understandably, the liberal youth of Almaty, the capital, (and other major cities to a lesser extent) got upset about the fact and went onto the streets with protests, which were suppresed by the Soviet government. Notably, it became the first mass rally of the sort to be acknowledged by the Soviet administration.
Other than that, 90s in the Kazakhstan were pretty fucking miserable and overall not worth visiting, so other than 1986 you're not going to have any fun. One thing going your way, though, is that you got there way past the peak of totalitarianism, meaning that you can leave the country with relative ease.
>>
>>4489933
Are people still mad about Borat?
>>
>>4488784
>433
>Patagonia

wtf was going on in Patagonia in 433?
>>
>>4489949
That's a meme that normies are always going to be butthurt about, though the fad has pretty much died out. That being said, the fact that Borat is probably the only thing that foreigners outside of CIS know about Kazakhstan is rather insulting, though there is not much else to be known about a typical kazakh (with obvious exaggerations left ignored).
>>
>>4489974
A bunch of tourists just got fined for wearing mankinis in Kazachstan.
I would say they are pretty butthurt still.
>>
>>4489987
I doubt there are a lot of countries out there that wouldnt fine tourists for wearing mankinis in the middle of the city. Regardless of the meme background, that still is an asministrative offense.
Though the general public was, indeed, assblasted over the fact that the perpetrators werent sent to Gulag for their wrongdoings.
>>
1208
Congo

I mean ok
>>
>>4488784
>1887
>Eastern Belarussia
not that bad, I can read both cyrilic and latin and Iam Slav, I could try to get to either Czechia to live there or Poland since I also speak quite well Polish.
>>
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>>4489974
>That being said, the fact that Borat is probably the only thing that foreigners outside of CIS know about Kazakhstan is rather insulting
Admit it man. All 'stans' are unimportant places and Kazakhstan is not even the best of them all.
>>
>>4489974
Time for you guys to start a war against someone or have a civil war, genocide or something like that, I see no other way to make people forget about that shit.
>>
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>>4488784
Year 804
Pic related
I starve to death or get eaten by wolves, unless some Finno-Ugric tribe finds me and makes me a slave. Fuck you, time machine.
>>
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>>4488784
>1453
>Constantinople.jpg
>Middle of Yunnan, Ming Dynasty
fuck

>>4489027
Literally right at Independence or during Independence War from France. Prepare to die Monsieur Pied-Noir.
>>
>>4490038
Death of Nazarbayev will certainly bring uncertainty to the future of the country, but seeing how well Uzbeks handled a similar situation there really is no threat of a conflict in the nearest future. That is, unless some religious shit gets stirred, which is quite unlikely.

>>4490033
Historically speaking - yeah, Kazakhs always were the literal embodiment of the steppe nigger, except with no relevancy to the history.
Though i would argue that right now Kazakhstan might be the best stan to live in - with the exception of, perhaps, Tatarstan, simply by the virtue of being a part of an actual (as opposed to a meme) country.
>>
>>4488784
not good
>>
>Jiangxi
>1857
any wacky hijinks i can get up to?
I'm a brainlet on Chinese history
>>
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>>4488784
In the year 109 in india during the Kushan Empire shittery
I don't know what the hell happens to me
>>
>>4489143
be the madman and be the first brother of jesus
>>
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>>4490180
Taiping Rebellion
>>
>>4490028
I doubt there are many countries where they would fine tourists for wearing mankinis.
At least, you know, west of Kazakhstan.

Because, you know, it might be provocative, but it's, you know, just a piece of clothing. We don't really punish people for that.
>>
>>4488784
Lan Xang, 1522. Don't know much about SE Asian history... Seems interesting.
>>
>>4488784
778, north of fucking Gabon. I will either be eaten by cannibals or convince a tribe that i am a white god
>>
>>4490222
No, that comes 200 years later, refer to>>4490225
>>
>>4490214
At least you can poop in the ocean
>>
>>4490243
>or convince a tribe that i am a white god
That seems like a good answer to most places ITT
>>
>>4490117
The best steppe niggers by far were the 'mongols' though.
>>
>>4488784
>974
>somewhere in the middle of the fucking Russian wastelands.

Literally the only two noteworthy landmarks I could find within a 10 mile radius was a stream called Reka Tukhsigat and a road that doesn't even have a name.
>>
>>4488784
>1834
>Algeria
Time to suck some French cocks
>>
>1777
>Revolutions!
>Enlightenment!
>Xinjiang China!
>Xinjiang China?
I no nothing. I cannot speak anything but English and German. I am not just white, but ginger.

What will happen to me anons? :^(
>>
>>4488858
invade europe
>>
>>4490317
Mongols were one-hit wonders.

As opposed to the Turkics which were responsible for some of the Middle East's greatest Empires.
>>
>1066
Well this is promising
>Land somewhere in bumfuck nowhere Russia, north of Mongolia
Great...
>>
>163
>The town of Mehmandar in North West Iran
Awesome, Persian empires > R*me
>>
>>4488784
>880
>Baffin Island, Canada
Wish me luck
>>
>>4490471
RIP anon. You will be most likely be killed and have your body ground up and sold as an aphrodesiac.
>>
>>4490814
At least then he'd make other people horny for once in his existence.
>>
>1544
> just south of Khurmen, Mongolia

not sure how I feel about that
>>
>1248 in middle of Russia

Sweet lets do some bolsheshit a bit earlier
>>
>1994
>Ok, if i get a western coun...
>Iran
>Fuck
>>
>>4488784
>1762
>northeastern australia
fuck
>>
>>4488784
940
Philippines
Well time to get some Filipino pussy
>>
>>4490471
Do what that guy did a century later and say your Jesus's brother and overthrow the Qing dynasty.
>>
côte d'ivoire 1371 I use my superior white man intelligence to spawn a century-lasting empire
>>
>>4488784
>244
>South of New Zealand and Australia in the middle of the fucking ocean
RIP
>>
>1651 Western Russia

Fuck me i guess
>>
>>4488784
>1535
>middle of the amazon rainforest
Well at least im immune to what the spanish are bringing
>>
>>4490831
:,^)
>>
1471 western coast of Australia. Am I seeing british people yet?
>>
>>4489239
>Thinking fucking qt polynesian bitches, getting tatted up and living on and Island paradise as the "White Warrior" is a bad thing
Fucking faggot.
>>
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>>4489331
Do what the Portuguese did.
>>
>>4489352
>>4489362
Plus smoke weed, raid civcucks and fuck qt happas.
>>
>>4489404
>Become white god emperor of immune Indian nation with advanced weapons who subjugates all who oppose and fucks millions of qt native bitches
Sounds pretty dope.
>>
>>4488784
>732
>northwest arm of Mozambique
Welp. Time to farm yams.
>>
>>4489506
You'd be in for a comfy life anon.
>>
>>4489667
You'd be yet another Siberian lunatic.
>>
>>4489685
>United Ainu people into modern kingdom
>Build fleet and subjugate Japan before they could ever make their Katanas
>Invent Katanas, and rule over a white ruled Ainu Japan as their god emporer
>>
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>>4489715
Awesome your from Kazakhstan, I always thought it looked beautiful out there. Would love to traverse Central Asia some day.
>>
>>4488784
>847
>australia
I would try and make steel or iron or some shit, maybe gunpowder, convince aboriginal tribes people i'm a wizard/spirit/god, upgrading their agriculture and leading them to indonesia as a mercenary, using whatever little knowledge i have for inventions and developments that i would use on my private property/province before marrying the queen, marching on east asia with my superior technology/medicine/tactics and inevitably dying of fever or an ambush
>>
>>4489342
>anon warns of the white devil and teaches them the magic of gunpowder, steel and germs
>unites all tribes as advisor of a sinxioux war chief
>destroy colonists and reverse engineer their ships
>a couple of months later on the horizon of ireland
>oh fuck nigger the colonists are back
>natives butcher irish farmers, white devil gets their armies together and our expedition is sent to davy jones' locker
>>
>>4489454
you could get to an oasis and/or be picked up by some caravan
>>
>>4491093
>He thinks it's that easy
>>
>>4491093
>be anon
>go to african village
"l-l-listen up you n-niggers"
>gets cannibalised
>>
>1800
>Deep in the amazon
Well guess we intrepid explorers now
>>
>>4491399
Sperg Ivory coast was islamic and akan
>>
>>4491399
KEK
>>
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>1923

Okay, not bad, I can do this, I just wrote a book about the Prohibition Era for fuck's--

>Manaderas, Haiti

SON OF A BITCH. My Haitian historical knowledge is painfully limited. All I know is that this would have been during the US occupation, meaning unless I am near a US base or port and there are Marines present enforcing martial law, the Haitians are going to be pissed off and oppressed and looking for a lone out-of-place dude to beat on. Things aren't looking good for me.

Hopefully I can get into local clothing, scrape together a few dollars and make my way to the US mainland. Or hell, maybe I'll just stay and get myself a big-bootied Haitian wife--

>no interracial marriage allowed on the islands

Fuck. Pre civil rights era was bullshit. Whatever, maybe she can be my """maid""" and we'll quietly get equality moving earlier than expected.

>tfw I can be the true menace /pol/ fears, 100 years before they even exist

It's a good feel.
>>
>>4491441
not every part of it
most of it was still savage
i bet there was like one mosque in the capital or something
>>
>>4488784
>283
>Northeast Australia

Will I be cannibalized? Will I kill all the Abbos with some virus?
>>
>>4491511
kill the abbos, then make some cryptic message with modern letters for scientists to be baffled
something like "Andromeda is Satan"
>>
>>4491511
make it with their skulls
>>
127
Middle of the pacific ocean
Nice knowing you anons
>>
>>4491535
keep rolling till you get land, can't you read idiot
>>
>>4488784
1988
>Oh yeah gimme USA baby
Libyan desert, East of Jakharrad
>fuck
>>
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>1566
>south Afghanistan
How fucked am I?
>>
>>4488919
Pretty sure your part of the Roman Empire buddy, or at least very close to it.
>>
1247, somewhere in Mexic.
What are the chances that my heart will be an gift for some gods?
>>
>>4491527
>>4491530
I like it.
>>
>>4489381
>>4489389
As an Australian man, I can personally tell you that North east of Perth (assuming hes far out not like 2 km away) He will be very very dead.
>>
>>4490047
Head south and become a merchant in Novgorod. Otherwise your gonna be a Sami slave.
>>
>>4490381
Make some really good headway south and join some tartar tribes.
>>
>>4488784
>424
>Ohio
Well looks like I better get friendly with the native Americans.
>>
>>4491693
Timurids would have just fallen but its not in the middle of civil war, that just ended. Make a mad dash southward looting indian villagers for food and meet the Portugese colonists in Goa.
>>
>685
>Eastern Mongolia

I'm not sure what happens. I get killed from a horse trampling in my adolescence.
>>
1053 in modern day northern China. Guess I'm some steppe kings' bitch boy now
>>
>1368, northern China

That's actually sweet as hell
>>
1936 in the Olympic national park in Washington, guess I'll stay hiding in the forest until the whole war thing blows over so I don't get thrown into that meat grinder
>>
>>4488784
>28 AD
>Yukon
JUST
>>
>1894
>the literal middle of brazil

Um...well, least it's civilized. I'll prolly die of some random frog in the rainforest though.
>>
>243
>literally middle of the Amazon

Why live
>>
>1185
>antarctica
fugg
>>
>>4488784
1737, Spitsbergen. I'll probably freeze to death and/or get eaten by polar bears long before I get to the nearest whaling outpost, but if not, I'll see if they'll give me shelter. I might end up working for them, who knows?
>>
>1309
>Novgorod
I guess ill pretend to be a girl and fulfill my dreams of being filled by a Khan's penis.
>>
>>4491076
Literal abos, iirc the Indonesians still hadnt moved in yet.
>>
>>4488784

457 in the middle of the India, i am fine?
>>
>>4491511
>Be literally the smartest man in the entire island
>Not use this to create an abbo empire lead by your dynasty.
Unambitious fag.
>>
>>4488784
>379
>a few hundred miles off the coast of Brazil
Gee, thanks
>>
>1979
>belfast
SHITE
>>
>1229
>Bumfuck nowhere, Canada
ooga booga lads
>>
>>4488784
>688
>South Africa
Fuck
>>
1916, pic related.

FUCK
>>
>1233
>somewhere in the mountains of southern Bolivia

How did I do?
>>
1464, Swiss Alps. Guess I'm becoming a mercenary lads
>>
>>4492668
Lads, is there anything I can tell Ludendorff to turn this thing around?
>>
1144
Song China near border with Jin.
It could be worse if I was a few decades in the future. Was Song friendly to foreigners who couldn't speak their language? If I could make it to England I don't think them speaking Middle English would be that much of a problem
>>
>>4492668

If false: reroll

If true: dont worry you are not even in alsace
>>
>>4492681
don't restart USW
>>
>>4488784
>133 (AD or BC?)
>Northeastern China, close to Jinan, just next to Korea

Doesn't sound too bad, desu.
>>
>>4492681
Draw him a map of modern borders and explain to him how we got them
>>
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>>4491254
>>
>1262
>Eastern Ukraine, close to the black sea
Doesn't seem too bad. What am I in store for boys?
>>
>>4488784
>1279
>southern Mexico

Hmm am I okay guys ?? Do I get to join the Azects ? And would I be welcomed ?
>>
>>4492733
Depends on your skin colour.
Also:
>1279
>Aztecs
>>
>>4492751
Whitey if it's not the Azects than who is there ?
>>
>>4492762
Probably some mayan city states
>>
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>1526

drowning beats being eaten i guess
>>
>>4488784
>73 AD
>Northern Mozambique

Guess I could try to travel north to egypt but i'd probably fucking die of tropical disease or an acient chimpout
>>
>>4492801
Sounds good to me

>Convince a city that I'm a god/super natural being
>make them crown me as their emperor
>convince other city states to join me
>destroy all those who oppose me
>conquer most of Central America
>expand in South America

Voilà I built my empire and once the spainyards reach here (and I will most likely already be dead and worshipped) my empire will be so powerful that they will think twice to conquer this ofc if I'm able to avoid civil war and elect my heir
>>
>>4492859
>Convince a city that I'm a god/super natural being
Do you speak any of the mayan dialects?
>>
>>4492873
I speak the Gods language ;)
>>
>>4488784
>1350
>Near Poznan Poland
Wew lad, live couple of miles from the irl. Guess im living in golden age of Kazimierz III The Great.
What should i do? Become a knight?
>>
>>4492902
Hell yeah become a knight
>>
>>4488784
>1755
>County Limerick, Ireland

wew. Literally nothing going on at the time to my knowledge, i missed a famine by about 5 years though. Guess ill get an irish gf
>>
1944. USA Hawaii
>>
1158, China
Welp time to fail the imperial exams
>>
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>>4488784
>1831
>antartica
fug
>>
>>4488784
>1866
>China
Get really high on opium and fuck a prostitute
>>
>>4490499
name one turk general half as good as subutai
>>
>>4493071
good luck cumming, you'll be there for a while
>>
>>4488784
>492
>Bordeaux
Chilling with the Visigoths isn't too bad I guess.
>>
>>4488784
>1591
>Turkmenistan
>>
>209
>Borneo
I guess I'll be god-king over some Austonesians.
I hope they don't eat me.
>>
>1592
>Middle of the Amazon

Well, if the natives don't kill me, flora, fauna or disease will.
>>
>>4494174
1592, You might meet some Portuguese or Spanish explorers.
>>
>>4491723
Is Aussie banter real? Cuz I fucking love it and hate how none of my fellow Yanks get banter. If it is I'd love to become an honorary 'stralian.
>>
>>4492714
LOTS of Mongols.
>>
>>4488784
1948
Yunnan Provence of china.

Admittedly I dunno much about that area but I assume i’d get swept up in the Chinese civil war.
>>
>1850
>Northern Afghanistan
Try to find some Brits and join up with them before i’m horribly tortured by Pashtun.
>>
>>4488784
Southern Guatemala, 1484
Do Mayan shit I guess lol.
>>
>1093
>Africa

How am I lads?
>>
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>1403
>Karlov, Czech republic
Literally Kingdom Come Deliverance
>>
>>4494327
Niggers, so not good
>>
>>4494345
King Wenceslas is kidnapped by his cunt brother. Sigismund butt fucks Skalice and other villages.
>>
>1832
>southern Kazakhstan
sweet
>>
>>4488784
822 AD
I've landed on a beach on the northern shores of the Crimea. I suppose I just keep walking south and hope the greeks are still around in one of those coastal cities
>>
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>>4488784
> 969
> Chad
>>
>1224
>modern day Libya
Well I guess I’ll convert now
>>
>1146, Kuril Islands, closest one to Kamchatka.
This doesn't look good
>>
1547 Finland
I think I can live with that
>>
>>4491816
GOKTURKS
>>
>>4488784
>
1965...bufu egypt Kazakhstan. what happens?...i have literally no fucking clue lol. Id probably wander around for days before even knowing what country i was in exactly.
>>
>>4488984
*keine Zeit, Dummkopf
>>
>>4488784
>1
1598, South Australia
So if i stay alive for 8 more years and travel east to the pennefather river and hunt down the local abbos and spread my glorious germs all over them and impregnate as many of the natives (a heavy price to my dignity but you never get this chance) i can create a sentence by lining the corpses and bones into letters "Welgekomen Dietse Hoerenzonen In Oost-Vlaanderen" and when they ask me who i am
"Ik ben Pape Jan en neem me naar Japan"
>>
>>4492668
you are basically bruce willis in that scene of twelve monkeys...except everyone is yelling at you in german
>>
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>>4488784

1639 and pic related.

What happens to me bros?
>>
1422 Algeria, Bumfuck nowhere

What's in store for me, boys?
>>
>>4494850
slavery
>>
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>1733
>pic related
I pray I don't get butchered by locals as I go look for some Dutchmen to get me out of there or maybe set me up with a qt Indo wife and live a comfy colonial life.
>>
>>4488784

1447 in the South Sudan (the part I landed on is green, not desert).

I admittedly have no idea what was going on at that time and place.

Most likely scenario is I die of disease. Second most likely is someone kills me. Assuming neither of those happen, I'm probably gong to try to reach the Nile and sail to Egypt, then get on a boat to Europe somehow.
>>
>1512
>Central Chile
Pizarro is going to be really confused
>>
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SHEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
>>
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>1727
OK, that's good
>Eastern Antarctica
>>
>>4488784
542 Saudi Arabia
>>
>>4494936
YOU HAVE TIME TO WARN THEM
>>
peru, 1414
>look around to brown qt peruvian waifus
>chew coco leaves and herd alpaca till the white man comes and rapes and kills everything
>>
>>4495045
You're going to be dead or very old before a Spanish expedition comes around, amigo.
>>
>1490
>Middle of Brazilian rainforest
Guess I'll eat the wrong thing and die.
>>
>>4495045
not if im brown im not ;)
>>
>807
>some bumfuck bush in SW Australia
I'll go look for the nearest platypus or kangaroo to maul me to death because I'd rather deal with that than abbos.
>>
>983
>in the middle of the ocean
ded, let me try again
>1474
>in the middle of another ocean
ded, let me try again
>1097
>once again in the ocean
ded

Cool game, OP.
>>
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>>4488784
>1806
vive l'empereur napoleon
> next to Metz
hon hon
>>
>1931
>CCCCUBA
>TIME TO SAVE COMMUNISM IN THE WEST
>>
>99
>Middle of the Gibson Desert
Guess I'll die
>>
>1573
>Zambia
Well rip me, killed and raped by an ungo bongo
>>
1411 somewhere near the Marianas Trench
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQV7DKBqGdk
GG
>>
>>4488784
>1971
>Baffin Island, Canada
Sounds comfy
>>
>826
>northernmost point of Australia
well I'll learn to ooga booga, the people will probably be friendly and I'll get to eat decent fruit
right?
>>
> 1168
> Near Chengde, China
Well at least I didn't die this time
> 1746
> Near an island in the Coral Sea off the coast of Queensland. Hope Cap'n Cook picks me up soon.
> 1341
> Solomon Islands near Papua New Guinea
Well I guess it's "death by cannibalism"
>>
>>4489416
Nig you're just in time to join a Manchu banner and be given a qt Manchu waifu
>>
>1562
> between Huron and Iroquois territories (currently Chequamegon-Nicolet National forest)
Time to become a squaw-man.
> 1620
> middle of the damnable Pacific Ocean
blub blub
> 1823
> Antarctica
Hope penguins are edible. And flammable.
>>
>>4494692
Hope you're good at horseback archery and hunting with eagles.
>>
>>4494919
Second go
646 in New Mexico
>tfw Cliff Palace won't be built for another half millenia
Might as well start it myself
>>
>1426
>Arctic Canada

Guess I start walking south for a few decades
>>
>>4494905
you might be able to find a research station.
>>
>>4488784
>1924
>Morocco, near the Taza
Probably gonna die in the Rif war unless i'll somehow slip to the Frenchies. Still probably gonna get shot as the last time i spoke French was 20 years ago.
>>
>>4494240
Fuck off were full.

Yeah Aussie banters real. Someone says something weird eg some 4chan shit it would usually be like "Aw m8 ur fucked in the skull right" (other guy) "Your off your fucking rocker cunt" *group laughs over it*
>>
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>>4488784
>626
>pic related
I guess I`m dead
The abos will revere me, if I`m lucky
>>
>>4495981
Is it true most Australians are dumb and don't read or think deeply? Some aussie on /lit/ said this was generally the case.
>>
>>4496467
As an Australian man; they have a legend that when you die you become 'white' and that someday all the dead relatives will return on a giant 'island'. We were taught that when the Brits arrived on their giant 'island' (ship) they thought the prophecy had been fulfilled. So just go with the flow and become a wiseman.
>>
>>4496484
Most Australians are pretty normal, they do think and read. However if you goto South Australia, the Northern Territory, Queensland or the Western shithole, then it is true. legit its something like 256 KB/S Internet in Perth everyone there drinks their worries away.
>>
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>>4488784
>286
>off the eastern coast of Sardinia
AVE
>>
>Russia, Belgrade
>Fucking 1917

Call me Juan "comie to the core" Cristian
>>
>>4488784
>1715
>southern India near Ceylon

niceee i'll join the British East India Company and try to rise in the ranks and become like Lord Beckett
>>
>1577
>Cardenal Cagliero, Mexico

would there be anything notable going on?




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