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for any art related vents you want to get off your chest
>>
>>3925002
Fuck this gay earth.
>>
I'm stuck in a position where "cute girl art" is the only stuff of mine that gets major attention. Hopefully someday I'll have enough of a following that I can get maybe 50 likes on my other projects. I know that in reality, anime girls will always get vastly more attention than my other things.
>>
>>3925002

>be me
>have art gf
>not a qt but still loved her for what she was
>be together for 2 years
>try to bring relationship to the next level
>find out she was fucking my best friend
>yell at each other all night.
>she kicks me out of my own home
>sleep in a shitty motel 8
>seething
>remember she has a little sister
>painfully obvious her little sister has a crush on me
>Realize a way to get back at my bitch ex-gf
>I go to her middle school
>I pick her up
>I drive to the lot
>I put my hand down her pants
>She’s crying
>I tell her that I would hurt her and her family if she ever tells anybody
>>
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>>3925103
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is this person tracing/stealing? none of their art looks the same

https://inkbunny.net/HereFurGoodNotLong
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>>3925202
screenshot of gallery for the lazy
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>>3925205
also wtf is a mermay
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>>3925103
Based
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>>3925103
Here's your (you)
>>
Should I fully invest my time in drawing or fucking learn to manage time and bond with my friends more? Fuck. I'm eager to practice for 10-16 hours a day but I don't want my friendships to fizzle out for isolating myself from them. Feels shit desu.
>>
>>3925288
Forgot to add but I felt depressed seeing my friends bond over something they have in common while it feels like I'm drifting away from them. Already have irl problems to handle then came depression. It's hard to keep up with everything and I can only use my energy for drawing nowadays.
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>>3925288
Both. Can't you try being greedy for once?
>>
Shit I wanna do:
Fetishist, political, trolly, edgy, memey and autistic art
Shit I also wanna do:
Serious stuff with integrity

I can't figure out how to piece it together. inb4 use different styles, I want to be free to experiment and any appealing styles ill develop will be bound to overlap
>>
>>3925346
Why not make edgy, political, memy, trolly, and autistic art with fetishist undertones, but that's still honest in its ideas?
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>>3925354
Not that anon, but I feel similarly, that they detract from each other. Especially if you'd rather have your "wholesome" stuff reach the widest audience, than cater to fetishes say.
>>
I'm 18 and I just graduated high school and while I'm not /beg/ it's really depressing to see how much I've stagnated over the past year, if not these past four years
I think having a mentor would help me the most, but finding one is a daunting task. I wish I wasn't so retarded and could teach myself this stuff on my own quickly and efficiently, it's all I want to do in life
>>
This isn't directed at you OP it's directed at some fag.
But honestly fuck you, I can do what I want and I'm not gonna like your stupid ass fucking tweet so fuck off faggot :/
>>
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People writing books, comics and manga, movies, anime, even vidya, really often can't make satisfactory endings. In recent memory I read and watched so many things that had a shitty conclusion despite the story otherwise generally being good.
I gotta do better than everyone.
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>>3925103
wtfffff!!
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>>3925002
im 33 been drawing like an amateur retard my whole life and i still suck should i kms
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>>3925597
Good luck in life mate.
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I can't seem to figure out basic shit that even kids seem to get.
My drawings have neither an interesting style nor good substance.
My inking is getting better, but what's the point if the drawings I make look like garbage?
I just want to finish something, but I can't.
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>>3925611
I keep getting these dreams, they're mundane but so, so long and when I wake up it's like I haven't slept a wink
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am ngmi
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I'm starting to really see that i lack talent, motivation, and creativity to make it. I dont know what to do now
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I've been painting for 15 hours straight to make a deadline pls let it end
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whenever I see an artist having a patreon with hundreds of patrons but still have a teaching job, I still think they're not making enough to make ends meet
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>>3925296
drawing is a lonely job buddy.
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>>3925002
I decided that I wasn't good enough to be a real artist, but I don't wanna be a tumblr hack either, but I'm not really good at anything else that could realistically get me money either and I don't wanna be a NEET forever.
Some people seem to like my muh style, but it wouldn't feel right to do commissions when my fundamentals are less than optimal and I don't like art that much to actually grind and git gud.
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>>3925202
Who honestly cares? It's not even a high profile artist.
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>>3925238
A challenge where you draw a mermaid piece everyday for the month of May. A poor mans Inktober
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I'm really salty about this couple furry artists who make porn featuring each other are are really into online displays of affection.
It really irks me that they are showing off how they are better off than me.
>>
Fml I can't make friends with any nsfw artist, I've recently started getting a decent following across my accounts but I have very few mutuals.

>inb4 zero friends
I have normie art friends but holy shite I want to draw degenerate stuff with other degenerate artist
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>>3926003
Show a sample of your degeneracy
>>
This isn't fun anymore. I've killed my only hobby.
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>>3925597
No. But if you have been drawing your whole life and you still suck, then that means you're not putting enough effort OR you are putting enough effort but you are doing things wrong (like bad exercises or not the ones you need to be doing... or you're just plain staying in your comfy zone, when you need to be pushing borders and diving deep into the hard unknown).

Whatever the problem is though - it's fixable and you still have time.
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I thought I'd finaly go to collage and take some art classes just so I can live off the financial aid and not be looked down on by my family. But it turns out you need a Bachelor's just to get in. If I didn't read it wrong, fucking why? I might as well keep studying at home, and find a whole different career path. Why is trying to make a living off of art so unfair?
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>>3926231
And there's no way for you to get a Bachelors?
Sorry anon, the art world definitely is unfair.
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>>3926128
Doesn't matter it'll never unfuck absolutely everything else no matter how far I take it
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>>3926231
Try searching for art houses and museums locally.
VERY similar situation, biding my time in uni drawing and saving all my financial aid.

Uni doesn't even have an art course, but I found out they run life-drawing classes in a local museum, which I plan on joinimg next September
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>>3925614
sorry to hear it
>>
>"I'm sick of always being asked to draw the same shit everyone does just because it's popular. It's boring and I put no heart into it."
>"Ok guys, it's <holiday> give me some flavor-of-the-month suggestions on who to draw for it."
>"Nah I guess I should ignore those and draw something popular to actually get likes/reblogs."
>>
>>3925047
Try drawing something other than cute girl art and not just every three months and you might see some results.
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Im always stuck at having potential, never achieving that potential.
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Am I just stupid or is drawing mecha extremely fucking difficult.

On top of having to get perspective down the sheer amount of geometry for not even that complex a design can be staggering if you want to depict a machine from more than 1 angle. And they really require a LOT of straight lines which can get frustrating doing them over and over.

I have mad respect for mecha designers and even more for japanese animators who used to animate that shit all the time back in the day.
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>>3925002
Emo Rant Time. I acknowledge my family for being extremely financially-supportive. However, being with them is so tiring, despite living in the same house. They're very overprotective and have kept me from doing stuff I wanted to do many, many times.

They will buy me expensive art supplies, but then constantly tell me how art students work at Macdonalds or publicly mock art exhibitions as something "no one will buy", scoffing at art majors.

I can never tell my feelings to them. When I do, I'm mostly ignored, or criticised for talking about stuff irrelevant to them. My mother is the worst, she nitpicks every single thing I do, and constantly wants to know where/who/why I'm going out. Didn't boil the water? I'm a selfish person who doesn't care for others. I even sleep in the fan to save money for the family. When my brother leaves the aircon running for 12 hours, no one cares.
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>>3926791
Recently I was accepted to the top 2 business schools in my country. One has the curriculum I like and I can thrive in, more oppprtunities: however, it doesn't have any residential areas (aka I have to go home to rest)

Logically, I know this choice is the best. However, my emotional need for independence and personal space away from my family is so strong that I'm leaning towards the other one.

Worst thing is, I'm financially reliant on my parents. I plan to study real hard, become a management consultant, earn $$$ to pay back my parents (remove all financial obligations) and live by myself.

I would appreciate any advice on this matter.
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I told myself I'd wait with killing myself until October, but I can't do this. I wanted to move out first so I don't kill myself where my parents are going to find my body, but why am I really waiting? I'm just a fucking coward. Please tell me to kill myself already so I can get this over with soon. I need to give up already
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>>3926796
If they're both top schools, is the difference in opportunity enough to matter?
Will being at home with family affect your performance in school?
Personally, I do much better in school when not at my parents' house just because it's less distracting and uncomfortable. Same goes for drawing actually.
However, if that isn't a problem for you, and you will actually get a better job from the better school, go for the better school.
>>
Why do I have so many days I just feel too 'off' to draw. It's like when I can I can, but so much of the time I'm just incapable. why
>>
I CAN'T FIND MY PORTFOLIO AND I NEEEEEEED IT
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>>3927326
update: i found it
>>
>draw and improve a lot
>afraid of drawing more and improving, or to see that my improvements weren't real, or the possibility that they will stop
>afraid of walking into the unknown
>stop drawing
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>>3927101
Don't do it buddy, I promise you there is hope for you so long as you keep going. Might not seem like much from anon, but keep your head high, and find your reason to do it.
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I completely miserable. I've been trying to learn the -very- very basics for over a decade now. I started when I was 20 and I desperately wanted to go to an art school but I was rejected from one every year I would try. I ended up going to a community college and the drawing courses there were awful. I tried taking classes at another college and they weren't any better.
The things outside of colleges were even worse. Their versions of critique consisted of listing 3 things you liked about someone else's work. The instructors never told anyone what they were doing wrong.

I'm still stuck at trying to learn loomis and it's not working. I can't find anyone to hire for one on one lessons. It's really driving me crazy.
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>>3927333
Fuck this so much
Seriously. Fuck it. Fuck it so fucking much. FUCK IT.

I hate being afraid whenever I start doing somewhat okay. I fucking hate it.
>>
I just want to shout this but you likely already know it: you have to DRAW something in order to understand it. Like anatomy, you can look at and download pictures all you want all day, but when you try to draw the thing you were looking at, that's when you learn more about it and have it stick because it's a puzzle you're trying to solve instead of just another image of millions you filter out.

Drawing the thing from different angles, figuring out how it bends and turns are all a part of this. I just want to reiterate especially to those who think they understand things or think ''oh I could draw that easily'', you don't get it until you DO it.
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>>3927495
For $150/mo you can watch the videos on New Masters Academy and have a coach who will review your work. $50/mo for just the videos. They're good quality. Might be worth it if the irl classes are really that bad.
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>>3926791
I hope you’re not a flipfag because that business degree is worthless
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What the fuck is going on, i woke up today and this shit is happening everythime i put the pen down
I already unticked windows ink in the preferences, didn't work, wtf
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>>3927774
Fellow flipfag but not him. Are business degrees as useless as art degrees
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>>3925002
I wish I was better at art, that I asked a question, "Can the Fumer Breaker make me a good artist?"
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>>3926231
Turns I out, I WAS looking in the wrong section. But now I have a questions. How does a pre-major work? Do I just take a bunch of irrelevant classes then the ones I want, or do the irrelevant classes alongside the ones I want?
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I KEEP LOSING MOTIVATION GOD DAMMIT I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND.
I HAVE THE DESIRE TO DRAW FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME AND THEN IT JUST ZIPS INTO NON-EXISTENCE. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING, IT LIKE AN ANNUAL THING FOR ME AND IM GETTING LEFT IN THE DUST BY MY ART FRIENDS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
This is an endless loop of "I'm gonna try this weekend to pick up drawing again to start the week off strong" only to not do shit and then the week starts, long 9 to 5 as I think at work about plans on how I can start drawing and escape this office cubicle. Only to be too drained when I get home then in a few hours I'm back in the office. Again and again and again. "You wanna quit? Well too bad you'll just be homeless."

I want to keep a job, but I need something where I don't have to be around people. People drain my mental capacity. I wish I could just be a mailman, though I don't drive, or work from home doing the same thing by a legit company and not some shitty company that will dispose of you (no security). The days and weeks are going by. In the blink of an eye I'll reach 30 with nothing to show for. I just need to start again but for some reason I can't and I keep finding excuses not to start.
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I almost made it guys. I got an interview for an internship at the game studio I wanted to work for, I have it on good account I was one of the favourites...and then...they decided to go with one of the other candidates. whats worse Is I asked for feedback, but got none, so I have no idea if it was the art test I bombed, or if I came across as too cringy and desperate on the interview. I was so fucking close guys, I could fucking taste it...
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>>3928236
Can't tell if dick or pussy like topless infants.
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>>3928339
Dick
>>
I wanted to draw today but my fucking left hand is numb at the pinky and ring finger. I fucking hate that I want to get good at something but my health is fucking me over. Apparently it's cubital tunnel syndrome
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>>3928352
spooky
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>>3928312
anon this is a long term win. your are a favourite? that means they like you. you made a connection. and studios like that are notiorously slow at responding to shit, so you'll probably get that feedback in like half a year. just keep going to networking events and things and chug away at it.
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>>3928360
it helps that there is an absurdly high amount of studios in the area, considering the small population, so networking would be a good strategy. its just none of the buggers are hiring at the moment, and its killing me inside.
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Just looking at a picture I drew in 2009.
>I have made ZERO IMPROVEMENT IN 10 YEARS.
>\\RUN PROGRAM_SEPPUKU.exe
>>
I'm a beginner artist who has been practicing for at least an hour everyday for 5 months and I am worried that when I read books, I am not processing the information and improving. I'm also worried that I never know what I'm supposed to do and I don't have anyone who can direct me or give me decent advice.

Every artist I've met has been either a fucking asshole who's told me to quit, absolutely insane or a right wing conspiracy theorist who spends more time complaining about jews on Twitter than actually working on his art. The one person who was super helpful to me has just gone silent for months and I don't know what to do.

I want to get better, I'm just not sure what to do. You all probably hear this a lot though.
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>>3928372
both from ref I presume?
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>>3928375
>I'm a beginner artist ... I am worried that when I read books, I am not processing the information and improving. I'm also worried that I never know what I'm supposed to do and I don't have anyone who can direct me or give me decent advice.
same
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>>3928376
yes, my own hands
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>>3928380
thats a cool picture
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>>3925597
SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT
>>
ive been doodling for so long now i cant make one big drawing without making it look like shit like shittier than my doodles
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Why can't I loosen up? I spend hours drawing and I'm still unable to achieve flowy or confident lines. What the fuck is wrong with me, it's something even some begs can do.
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>>3928506
Drawing is a skill that takes years to master, even just achieving smooth confident lines in all your drawings. Just relax and realize that it will be a slow but enjoyable process.
>>
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>tfw no art friends
>tfw my art gets less interaction compared to ms paint animu art
>discord is no better bc you have to really be there when it's active or else no one would look
>I just want art friends gdi i don't even care about followers anymore
>>
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>>3928822
I feel you bro
being able to articulate my issues and problems and get advice on shit would be real nice
>>
>drawing extraneous characters owned by people I don't particularly care for for the purpose of ostensibly enriching a gift for a friend

never again
>>
I'm addicted to fap and whenever i bust that nut i lose all my motivation to draw... I want to stop
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>>3928843
It’s cliche but I want to find people who can look at my work and say stuff like “hey it’s pretty cool how you used method x” and maybe help point out my weaknesses so I can get better at it. I use twitter to post my shit but you know how social media fucked up the way we examine art and our attention span is no better than a goldfish. It’s even worse when artists just thrive on likes just to get that drop of validation when there should be more emphasis on completed works and not churning out anime waifu of the month.

Idk if it’s just me but I feel like there were more interactions in art forums compared to now.
>>
>>3928852
we live in a time where earnest criticism even in very constructive lights is routinely taken as utterly offensive for whatever reason
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>>3928853
Oh god do not get me started on “B-But it’s mah style” no bitch, your art is weird looking because you haven’t fucking bothered with learning fundamentals
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>>3928822
I relate to this feel. My only source of criticism is /beg/, which doesn't really do a good job because barely anybody ever says anything when I post. I'm pretty much totally isolated artistically other than that, so I'm worried once I actually feel confident enough about my skill level that I can pursue the things I want to accomplish I'll end up failing because of flaws in my art and writing I didn't catch. I like to watch art youtubers as I draw and I don't understand how they ever made friends
>>
Thinking about how many more years I have to go before I can create work that's passable gives me a feeling of anxiety.
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>>3927495
just post in the /beg/ critique threads regularly, they'll tell you what to work on. You can also find good artists on twitch and usually they have a discord with a critique section, you can also just ask them for critique live and they'll often help.
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I haven't drawn in fucking years because I hated everything I made so much that it would actually send me into depressive spirals and panic attacks, and i tried to kill myself several times solely because of how much I hate my art, to the point where every therapist i went to strongly suggested i flat out quit drawing, so I did. I don't know if I should even bother picking art back up. Plus, I can't separate drawing and suicidal thoughts because of my past with art, so I'm afraid that if I start drawing again I'll end up trying to kill myself again.
>>
>>3928852
>“hey it’s pretty cool how you used method x”
yeah, precisely
some actual informed feedback
best I can get is a, "hey thats cool what is it?"
oh well always 4chan I guess.
>>
>>3928878
why are you here?
>>
>>3928904
bi used to be into drawing for years but i stopped and now i'm thinking of getting back into drawing but if i do i'll probably kill myself
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>>3925002
YATA! so proud (just need to actually upload more things though)
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>>3928917
grats satan
>>
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>>3928352
Maybe you could try a pencil grip, the ones they give to kids.
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>>3928375
Take online art courses. It's a bit of money up front but its worth it. I never truly processed the information in books until I was able to see someone draw it out and explain it that way. Ive made more progress in a week than I otherwise would in a year. Im using new masters academy, but there are others.
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>>3928506
Its your grip. Hold the pencil like pic related. Itll feel out of control at first, but its impossible to not have flowing lines this way. When you understand what you're doing wrong through forcing it out, you should be able to go back to a writing grip and be able to use your shoulder instead of your hand.
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>>3925002
in terms of "making it" in art, exposure/being famous >>>>>>>making good art

weebshit and sameface IG baddie art gets 100x more
likes than something relatively creative

Im gonna have to give in and do the same shit
>>
>>3926003
if you're into furry & cartoon porn then we can be nsfw art friends
>>
>>3927117
Yes, it actually is. The first school has less opportunities, but is more internationally well-known. 2nd school has more opportunities, but barely well-known internationally. I really aim to get into management consultant and just get out of my country.

Honestly speaking I regret applying to both schools, I have almost no passion for business. It just so happens that I cannot foresee myself becoming a lawyer, won't survive in medicine, engineering is definitely not for me, so I chose the path to a good starting salary.

If I'm being honest, I just want to draw every single day without feeling like I'm rotting at home because I'm not earning money. I want to just get up and do whatever I want, without my parents' constraints (ye I'm Asian)

>>3927774
Haha I'm not from Philippines, I'm in your SEA region though, a very small country, I'm sure you can take a guess
>>
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>>3925103
>>
>>3928917
>"YATA"
>romaji
>single 't'
n g m i
>>
>>3928908
The trick is to stop being a retarded pussy. You know your depressive thoughts are irrational. You know they are stopping you from stepping into your ideal future. So stop letting them control you. Think about the absolute worst thing that could happen if you drew. Your drawing might be hideous and depraved and everyone would laugh at you and say that you sucked. And you would survive to draw another day. What defines you as a person is sincere effort, not the quality of the end result.
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>Post work on active thread asking for critique
>0 replies
>have to ask my art friends, knowing full well that they'll go easy on me
How am i supposed to improve if i get nearly no meaningful feedback? I used to get a lot of really good advice when i started posting here too, but lately that just doesnt happen anymore
>>
>>3925202
if they are maybe they should try tracing/stealing something good, lol
>>
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Been wanting to take myself out for awhile now. With the wage cucking between two mediocre jobs, gf breaking up with me last month (god, I loved that woman) and failing at whatever new hobbies or ventures I decide to pursue(drawing's going okay I guess). I've been feeling pretty miserable.

I feels as thought I lack purpose. I'm 21 and still don't know what I want to do with myself. No direction except wage slaving.

Like my very existence is a punishment forced on me by God himself. I know my life is not that bad, but all this shit is weighing heavily on my mind. My depression and apathy grow stronger by the day.

Pic is my art btw
>>
>>3929889
replay to yourself with 'pls respond'
>>
I want a gay art boyfriend :(
>>
>>3928995
This has been my struggle for a while
I see intermediate artists drawings cute anime girl with 100k followers and pros with creative works at barely 10k
really makes me think, should I draw for myself? should I pursue fame and cash? should I be a sellout? will I live with myself after choosing to pursue fame by appealing to normies weebs?
damn
>>
>>3929978
It's worth noting that pros usually put way less effort into maintaining their pages. Professional work is more important than social media likes. Their pages reflect that.
Also usually they're doing things under NDA that they can't post. Less things to post -> less momentum, followers, etc.
>>
>>3929914
I'm gonna be honest with you here bro
your gf was a roastie and now it's over, cope and don't waste more time with that shit
don't feel miserable/depressed etc because that's useless
everyone feels that they lack purpose, it's basic existential crisis. think about things that passionate you and find how you can grow into them and make a living out of it, thats when you find purpose, bonus point if it helps humanity in one way or another.
god doesn't exist, stop blaming outside forces + inb4 seething theists
Your art is unappealing (gentle way to say that it sucks hard)

here, now cope.
>>
>Crippling fear that I’ll never be able to truly draw what is in my head
FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY CAN’T I JUST BE GOOD AT ART ALREADY
>>
>>3930000
you get out what you put in
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>>3929986
How do you know he doesn't exist. Never said anything about blaming outside forces.
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>drew on the wrong layer for a good hour

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>3930039
Facts and logic
>>
>gives up on drawing for good

>still keep my insta and twitter follows

>get more and more aroused artistically by all I see and accumulate and is about to ejaculate drawing all over the place

BRAIN NO
I DONT WANT TO GET HURT ANYMORE IM NOT MADE FOR THIS
>>
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>ywn have the motivation of someone who draws a lot
>Your only source of motivation comes in spurs that last a year before you go back into that hole, worrying about people you compete against improving while you sit wanting to draw but never doing it aside from quick doodles because you can no longer do anything for more than 10 minutes
>Get worse and watch your peers improve 10 fold
LOL
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>>3930247
>you depend on motivation instead of discipline and hardwork
ngmi
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>>3930253
I depended on discipline for the last year. I guess I suddenly lost that discipline because I went from being able to force myself to work even when I didn't want to not even bothering. It's like a switch was flipped, and extremely weird. I made it this long with discipline and I think I burned myself out.

Motivation is just a substitute for actually having the will to be disciplined about it.
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Finally got a well paying job in the industry and I haven't been drawing or painting at all since I started. Photobashing, 3D work, all day, everyday. I got goofd
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>>3930284
man that's just sad...

what did you get?
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>>3930303
Movie industry effects/animation studio. I got lured with Star Trek Discovery work but in the end I mostly help out the special effects department with matte paintings, textures and whatnot. Outside of that I do social media graphics and some youtube stuff. Last time I did any artwork was for an ad spot where I had to do a bunch of conceptart and storyboards. That was months ago. Still a fun job but I'm clearly noticing my art skills deteriorating.
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>>3930307
>I got lured with Star Trek Discovery
you disgust me
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>>3930307
ah man, fuck. well, i hope you end up in a really creative gig soon enough dude, now that you've got that under your belt though it'll be easier.

what kind of stuff did you have in your portfolio if you don't mind me asking? was it exactly what you applied to do?
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>>3929957
Same, anon.
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>>3929981
This. Cute Anime Girls wont achieve you shit. The only thing you might get out of having many followers, is some more comissions. Followers dont equal opportunity.
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>>3928236
>>3928290
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAAf-EDs_K8

Good video to watch but summarized- you go to easy entertainment first if its easy to get at. Have your art shit out where its easy to get to. There are extensions to block or delay time-waster sites. Someone in the comments suggested having, say, their Twitter app buried in a folder on their phone instead of on the dashboard. Minimize the time needed for boring-but-necessary prepwork through efficiency.

>>3928290
>this office cubicle
Well how about that, you have nothing better to do than doodle on a clipboard
Also for you specifically, take cold or 'Scottish' showers- a hot shower that ends with at least a minute of cold water. I had a video that suggested it, which I can't find, but I still remember the pitch- apart from having a surprising amount of health benefits (the video didn't claim this!) you're going to take a shower every day before work. The only reason you could have not to take a cold shower instead of a much more comfortable hot one is that you chose not to. Embracing discomfort is a low impact way to boost your discipline.

>I want to keep a job, but I need something where I don't have to be around people
Possibly woodworking, like tables and big serious things, though I'm not sure if the insane markups I keep hearing about are because people only mention the materials cost. You'd need machinery to work quick.

ASL translator, apparently
https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/107431983/#107492962
Irregular, valued work. You can learn ASL online
>>
>>3929889
>have to ask my art friends, knowing full well that they'll go easy on me
Tell them to skip that last part. You're friends. Put care into not sounding hurt after, if relevant.
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>>3927328
Good job anon; now post it.
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>mad about everything NOT art related
>hard to draw cause im MAD
HARUMPH
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>>3930697
go eat some ice cream and then draw
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>>3930718
thank you anon, i got sloshie actually >>3930674
now i am ready
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>>3930697
don't forget to drink water
being dehydrated literally makes you in a bad mood
>>
>>3930757
You’re absolutely right. I skipped breakfast and breakfast water, I’ll go have some now... thanks anon
>>
I couldn't finish a Kelley Jones interview

He started talking about Bernie Wrightson, how he was growing too weak to finish his last book (Frankenstein Alive, Alive!)
Kelley requested pages, because he wanted to maintain the mood and spirit Bernie did, and in the interview pulled out a bunchnof them
They were amazing, absolutely, jaw droppingly astounding. There were beautiful thumbnails and these page layouts with paragraphs of text beside them. The pencils looked spectacular and the inks were layed on so well.
After that Kelley started talking about how Bernie never even had an underdrawing or sketch, the pencils were just there as-is. That Bernie just "projected" it onto the paper

I just couldn't finish drawing, like my hand just stopped and the ideas wouldn't come. I was laying out a comic when I saw those and just fuck.
Fuck I know I have to put in the work but I can barely look at my own shit now.
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Does anyone one else feel constantly restless and get so tired of it you can't do anything. Like you got some sort of mind paralysis so you fill your day with meaningless tasks with the idea of calming your mind but in the end whole days go by without you producing anything meaningful. Which in turn makes you even more restless and the cycle goes on. I think I need to abandon the internet at this point but then I worry I wont be able to look at art that inspires me. I'm just so tired, and I haven't even done anything that justifies it.
>>
Not a vent; a skeleton in my closet. I'm not much into god either, so a priest is out.

I was still grinding out many hours as an intermediate. Worked 2 retail jobs for an average of 45 - 60ish hours a week to cover living expenses/supplies, and tried to also do commissions in my downtime. I really wanted to get an illustration job, have some semblance of a normal work schedule, and finally be able to have the downtime necessary to do what I wanted to do. At the same time, I was dead-on-my-feet tired from keeping this ridiculous 80-110 hour work week, only a fraction of which was spent doing what I wanted to be doing. I started building a portfolio of work, but progress was so slow. I was burning out badly, to the point of fucking up in stupid ways while at either day job. I'd misplace things, forget names of people I've met, miscount money and forget to perform some responsibilities entirely.
I just wanted out of retail. So I did something bad: under a fake identity I commissioned an established illustrator to make a few pictures for me. I had some stipulations with the commissions: I'd pay half up front, half upon completion, and I wanted to see them in-person in black and white before they were colored. These were impressive, expensive illustrations. Really, I could not afford what I asked for. I could have made them, but nowhere near as quickly. We agreed on a time and place to meet for a preview (nowhere near where I lived) and when we met... I muttered "sorry", grabbed his pictures, and ran as fast as I could.
Didn't even occur to me until after the fact that he could have sketched my face or called out for someone to help catch me. My heart felt on the verge of bursting the entire time and all I really remember was very quickly and stupidly running across a busy intersection until I finally got on a bus. I got home, felt thrilled to have made it there, and then felt a very heavy guilt wash over me. That was a very low point for me.
>>
I took his beautiful work and I plagiarized it. I altered everything enough that it wouldn't exactly match any description of what was stolen. I ended up getting my first illustration job thanks to at least 1 of those pictures, I know that much.

I've since removed all those pictures from my portfolio. They live in my treasure box now, a space shared with all the other useless trinkets that have a great deal of sentimental value to me.

This happened before any real soc. media platform was a thing, in the early 2000s. I've since quietly, anonymously repaid the guy I commissioned double the amount we had once agreed upon, but I still have bad/weird dreams about it sometimes. It really haunts me, even if it was just a couple of unfinished illustrations. I'm not fearful of ever actually being found out as having done it; this would certainly hurt my reputation, but I'm skilled enough now and have an extensive portfolio, so I am not fearful of not being able to find work if anyone did associate me with this awful deed.
On the other hand, I myself have now experienced several occasions where I've done commission work and not been paid for it. You know, I don't really mind. It always stung me in a weird way, but at the same time I suppose I do understand wanting something valuable to you but not being able to afford it, whether in money, time, effort, or energy. I really enjoy what I do and have come to appreciate that I'd do it anyway.

I just thought I'd share this. It can be a cautionary tale, something that makes you angry, something that makes you sad. I don't know. I feel a little lighter for having said it though. If you can avoid it, don't ever do what I did. I don't even know that you could anymore since whoever you'd do it to would probably be posting about it on social media/took pictures of his work beforehand. I remain very grateful to that illustrator. I honestly have no idea if I'd have made it on my own. If you ever read this, sincerest thanks.
>>
>>3931021
>>3931023
lmao
So this is the secret to making it
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>tfw trying to make a comic
>draw half a panel
>instantly lose intrest and start doodling meaninless shit for hours at an end.
why?
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>>3931013
yep
probably my brain setting me up because he is afraid to draw and to put in the work and efforts
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>>3931021
>>3931023
>>
>>3931021
>>3931023
this is fucking hilarious. i can just picture this zombie-like anon shambling up to the chad illustrator, sitting down with him, and then muttering
>"s-sorry"
before taking off with an envelope of his work, dodging cars as he sprints across the street to catch a greyhound. meanwhile, the guy who drew for you goes through confusion, to momentary panic, to disappointment and confusion in the span of like 30 seconds.

good for you for making it, anon but goddamn. what a story.
>>
>>3931038
I don't wan't to turn drawing into something I force myself to do, but I'm starting to think that's the only way I'll get rid of this restless felling.

>>3931021
>>3931023
That's kinda fucked up anon .... and funny ... i can just imagine you running like some villain with sketched flopping around in your hands. A bit funny but damn. I guess its okay since you re-payed him. What was his reaction when you contacted him again.
>>
>>3931021
>>3931023
This is the funniest fucking shit I've read on /ic/ all year.
>>
I started a webcomic about a year ago and its already more popular than a lot of ones I've seen around for 5ish years and it pisses me off that those people won't improve/haven't improved.

Just because you've established an audience doesn't mean you shouldn't keep learning.
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>>3931021
>>3931023
>>
>>3931021
>>3931023
lmfao
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>>3931038
maybe it's time to procrastinate for a bit, do some self care. Do some basic art exercises and then take some time out to throw out old clothes, old dishes, trim your hair. Rearrange some shit. Shake out your blankets. Do it every day until you don't feel like a weenie anymore
>>
>>3931021
>>3931023
>It can be a cautionary tale, something that makes you angry, something that makes you sad
This made me happy, anon. Happier than I have been in a long time. I haven't laughed so hard in ages.
>>
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>>3925002
>buy artbook on how to sketch
>20% actual teaching material
>40% look at what this artist did cool huh
>40% just draw you see lol

Fuck me
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>>3931298
just draw what you see. there's no better way to learn how to draw.
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>>3931313
I expected how to draw a circle first, not some bull on philosophy and history anon [spoiler]but your right[/spoiler]
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>>3931096
Some people are only in it for the money, anon. The "art" is just a business plan.
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>>3931021
>>3931023
Oh my god
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>>3930649
this was what I put in here that I was proudest of but the admissions counselor berated me for using line-of-action and said to draw more from real life.

Which, well, I can't blame her. But I needed something to *show* in terms of figure drawing (what she requested).

This was ~7 minutes.
>>
>>3925002
12 years doing art and getting nowhere, no one cares about my art at all. Art as a career is a meme.
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>>3925002
>Since I was a kid I dreamed of being an artist, even though my Dad told me I would never make it, that I had no talent. I kept at it, studied constantly, got anatomy down and developed my style. Once my sis randomly decided this was her dream too he bought her the most expensive supplies and paid for art lessons. He declared that "his daughter will be the best artist in the world!". She draws in a tumblr-like style she copied but with nonsense anatomy, if you're wondering.
>When I graduated from Highschool my grandparents bought me a drawing tablet because they knew I was being treated unfairly, and told me to give art my all. They motivated me even further and got me into digital art, I'm eternally grateful. Yes, my parents/sisters always hated my grandparents as you might expect. They don't want me "stealing" my sister's dream, even though art is for everyone to enjoy. In order to make enough money to move out I'll probably have to start secretly drawing lewds, but that honestly feels liberating after keeping this fake smile on my whole life while dealing with feminazis and a literal cuck dad.

Sorry for the wall of text..I just wanted to get it all out somewhere.
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Everytime I check craigslist, indeed, glassdoor- all those job posting sites, the vast majority of the "art" related jobs are all fucking graphic designer. Every single one advertising related graphic designer. And more often than not, even the entry-level jobs want these poor applicants to have the skills and workload of an entire fucking marketing team.

I guess I shouldn't expect to find a job easily when my main strengths as an artist are just character design and illustration. But god damn do I wish I lived near an animation studio or comic studios(do comic book artist even get studios from their companies? I couldn't find anything like that when I did some research a week ago). I just like drawing girls and manga/comic characters, I haven't been studying and practicing art for years just to switch to learning how to design labels or logos cause that's the only art job here man. At least there's a few Apparel Designer openings that pop up occasionally, but it's not exactly my field and the most I've done related to that anyway is slap my art on graphic tees and sell em through Redbubble or some shit.
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>>3931737
FUCK, THIS SO GODDAMN MUCH.
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>have been drawing fan art for 3 years
>gain solid following because my (((style))) is appealing
>cant draw a straight line or a perfect circle
>tfw developed the imposter syndrome
>>
>>3931791
Fake it till you make it
>>
>tfw want to join in on art discussions
>always feel unwelcome and typically get ignored
>rest of the discussion is just other artists wanking themselves off
i fucking hate art communities, unless you're there to suck someone's dick they don't fucking give a shit
>>
>>3931737
>>3931752
If you're able to travel, have you considered searching up local jobs nearby but not actually local? I think I just spent 4 hours trying to see if a VPN could do that, no progress, so assume I'm no help on that front.
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>>3932208
If online learn how to write better- short sentences are more readable. I have no actual understanding of what passive tense versus active tense is, but the second is muchly preferred. Don't go off on too many tangents-dithering makes you read drier. Some word just sound better than others, good to end on- 'dithering' as opposed to 'digressions', say. 'Say' isn't one, unless what you just said is interesting.

Oh, and make sure what you say is interesting, of course- think of it like a twist in a book, something that changes the subject by putting it in a slightly different light.
Also I think I just figured out what passive tense is- I wanted to put that 'slightly' before 'changes'.
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>>3927495
dude go to a few openings at galleries and make some friendships with other artists

you fucking online weirdos with your digital work holy fuck
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>>3932215
Most online job posting sites already let you look up job postings based on location proximity and let you choose the location so... I don't know why you went through the effort of VPN.

But there is a city about 4-5 hour drive from where I live that has big arts and game design dedicated college, so I believe game studios have set up locally there, big ones being EA and Blizzard iirc. The problem is I'm entry level so even if I did land a job there, I'd have to move and the salary would never cover living there by myself. Finding a 2nd job and finding roommates to live with could address cost of living, but I've never really tried living with strangers so I have no experience in trying to find good housemates and I don't have any connections in that city, most people I know stay in my city and haven't moved anywhere else yet.
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>>3931724
Are you older or younger. You might be adopted.

>>3932208
Make your own community? Then you can be the elitist gatekeeper.
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ALL THE HENTAI IS BLOCKED AAAAAH
They finally caught Nhentai, and every other website I tried, with their filter.

FUCK
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>>3931021
>>3931023
This was a good story. It shows what kind of mindbogglingly retarded decisions a man can make when worked to tatters mentally and physically, and how even then things can work out just fine
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>>3932412
Then circumvent it you fuck
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I got diagnosed with Quervain's
I just spent a whole day without drawing a single thing, god it makes me want to die
>>
why am i so fucking lazy these days?
>>
I sometimes feel inferior to people whom have a proper art education, dunno why, am i jealous?
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>>3928375
Pirate online art courses
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>>3929914
You're 21. You have plenty of time and opportunity to turn your life around
>>
i don't know what i hate more my shitty art or my shitty relationship
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>>3932864
Probably your relationship. Dump them.
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>>3932864
If you're not married or have kids the only thing keeping you in a shitty relationship is probably your own fear of loneliness. Its not scary to abandon a relationship that is making you unhappy. If your art is shitty do quality studies in the areas you think youre shit.
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>>3930319
now kiss
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>>3932869
im financially stuck and they won't let me get a job
femoid of course
not married yet, no kids, but i don't have any feasible outs right now, ironically being on lock down all day has given me plenty of time to draw but im still shit
>>
>>3931096
post it
>>
>>3932881
I was in a similar situation three years ago. I was living with a guy who financially took care of me due to my inability to get a job. I wont go into details as to why i didn't get a job but I think a big part of it was that he allowed it. The relationship wasn't going anywhere and neither was my life. Not having a clear direction in life can lead to some serious mental blockages.
So I met this other guy at a party and he sort of told me that I don't need to rely on a person that is enabling me to be lazy if its making me unhappy. (didn't cheat on my SO at the time cuz morals) Anyway it really struck a cord somewhere and whiting a week i broke up with him and moved out the apartment we rented together. Left a lot of my belongings behind and moved in back with my family (22 at the time) Started working many different shitty jobs and even sold some nudes, but at the end of the day living hard is better than living feeling trapped. SO unless hes a fucking millionaire buying you cars and diamonds ... or you have LOVE for the guy, there is no reason for you to stay. If you have a supportive family or friend who will let you crash until you get back on your feet I'd advice you to dump the guy. Especially if you dont love him , because trust me it will only get worse when time progresses. Dont stay in a financial trap... unless hes disgustingly rich. Im not saying its easy, Im just saying that its not impossible. Good luck anon in what ever decision you make.
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>>3931724
That's fucked up, that's the kind of story that moves me. Where do you live? Do you like your dad?
I can take care of him for you. I usually do this as a side job but I don't mind doing it for free once in a while...
Lornemalvo#1837
>>
>>3931791
Kek that pic
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>>3932908
> I usually do this as a side job but I don't mind doing it for free once in a while..
Damn anon , I've vandalized cars and broken legs but that whole new level. On the off chance you're not LARPing, does it effect your art in any way.
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>>3932896
>bf is kind and doesn't force you against your will to do things you don't want
>break up with him for your own inability to move your ass and get a job "but you allowed me to be lazy it's on you"
women
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>>3932908
Kek
>>
>>3932932
You sound a lot like a feminist.
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>>3932943
>feminist
no thanks
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>>3932946
There's nothing wrong with depending on a guy if hes making more money than you can ever eat in a lifetime. Especially if it made him feel Alpha as fuck. Cute girls can get by without your feminist bull. There's a difference between being kind and wanting someone to stroke your ego.
>>
>>3932954
What feminist bull? I don't understand, I don't care about feminist and I think women in 2019 have it easier than men.
>There's a difference between being kind and wanting someone to stroke your ego.
Which one is good according to you? The anon I replied to seems to have break up with her bf because he was too kind, letting her be lazy.
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>>3932989
He wasn't kind you mong, he was making enough money to support us for years to come, and fuel our drug habit(also why i didn't wanna go into detail). I was getting paraded around his community for ego points. If I was lazy would I break up with him and seek a work filled life when I could have stayed with him, be well off and high off my tits ? You are misguided if you think I took advantage of someones kindness , it was mutually beneficial in a way.
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>>3933014
To add , hes the one who got me into drugs ... I was barely legal when we met and he was in his mid twenties. I understand men can be victims of opportunistic women but that wasn't the case. My ordinal point was that even if you're being enabled into a lazy meaningless life , you don't need to feel trapped by it, and even if its hard to escape it its possible.
>>
>>3933014
>>3933022
I see, I misunderstood your post badly sorry
>>
>>3925002
>stopped drawing practical things around a year ago
>now drawing just lewd loli anime girls
>Made one realism drawing in the last month
I regret this, all I have to show for myself is my fucking anime art
>>
>>3933043
Its okay , it didn't come from a bad place I'm sure. You must have pretty strong moral values. I have friend who is getting taken advantage of by a woman, so i feel ya. Too bad my friend is now trapped because shes now pregnant. RIP

On a side note... I just ruined a expensive sketchbook with shitty doodles. Why does this keep happening, I tell myself this will be a serious sketchbook every time and now its 20% trash
>>
>>3933059
>pregnant
Damn, the oldest and strongest trick

You're better off with a shitty sketchbook where you have fun than a serious sketchbook where you never draw in because you're afraid to ruin it (like me)
>>
>>3933059
>20% trash
better ratio than most of mine honesty
>>
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Drawing is all I have. I can't believe I'm being bullied at college by a team-leader on a power trip and the teacher will likely not intervene because he told us that part of the experience of a workplace was dealing with people you dislike but this goes beyond that. Our damn research team is doing just fine like the rest of teams, but while everyone else is having a good time and laughing, our boss has anger issues and just calls me son of a bitch and says my opinions don't matter because he perceives I'm not interested enough in our investigation despite the fact I did the majority of the work alongside my partner and we're the top 2 students from the whole university. But we're pretty much traumatized now and I had to sit there trying to draw while ignoring the insults.

One day I might just snap and have fun with a pencil inside his eye. Oh God I'll go complain to the teachers or psychologist, I can't believe I have to deal with this with 25 yrs old people.

I fucking stopped drawing as much as I did for the last month or two all to properly do my assignments and this guy who just bosses people around thinks he can drop F bombs on people who aren't his friends? My friend is a girl and she was pretty much crying tears of rage because of how that dude treated me so it was pretty bad.

But I can't say it's affecting my art. If anything I can dissociate and focus on drawing channeling my inner autist. So yeah life is pretty shit but drawing is keeping me on the line, I guess that's different from most venting here.
>>
>>3933151
I know that feel m8. Looks like you need to into drawing from your shoulder rather than your wrist. You got potential.
>>
I have confidence issues and social anxiety, and recently moved to another state where I'm even more isolated than I was before. My partner has paid me significantly less attention since starting their latest job (which I understand, and try to contextualize), but it's starting to affect my depression and make me regret the sacrifices I've made for their benefit.

Art is my outlet and this person doesn't appreciate it - mine or in general - particularly much. My work isn't polished. I am intermediate. I don't want asspats. However, feedback other than "that's pretty cool" would be nice. I've offered to draw them lewds. I have asked them if they'd like to see something specific. There is no real enthusiasm but they're still opposed to the idea of me posting NSFW content online because they see it as an indirect handjob. All I want is some positive reinforcement and validation. I've been forthright about it. Nothing changes.

Honestly, I would love to gain an online following and feel like I'm appreciated, even if it's for something as low brow as porn (I'd consider SFW stuff first if it was more lucrative for moderately skilled artists; I also just genuinely enjoy drawing sensual naked ladies). Guilt and the aforementioned lack of confidence both hold me back. I'm struggling with putting my partner's wishes before my own, so for me, there's this huge void where social interaction/support should be. Yet hypothetically limiting myself to porn consumers and fellow artists probably isn't healthy either.

I could go on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
>>
I can't draw, I can't, the simplest shit and I can't. I can't imagine or create new faces for a simple exercise, loomis. Maybe I really have aphantasia, or maybe I'm a fucking brainlet, but I wanted to be someone, I wanted to do something, my name to mean something, my life is a piece of shit, im no one and that isnt looking like it will change, talent is all, starting early is all, being able to visualize is all, fuck it I have none. I'll join a military something far away from home, wish there was a war so I could get fucking nuked, i hate mankind and I hate my life, life is not fair
>>
>>3933189
I can't cheer you up but whatever you do, don't put NSFW out there under your real name or avatar you plan to use for art on the regular. Create a different persona and never tell anything about you. And if you do it, keep it a secret from your partner.

Because indeed, NSFW art is like cheatinf
I had to talk down an ex girlfriend from doing it, and I was still angry at her lewd SFW drawings. But her biggest flaw was doing it from her real art account that's linked to her real name. So everyone knew they were fapping to art from Sara and tried to get on her good side. Asking her to draw certain things and outright paying for commissions just to make her happy... She got validation but it was like she had sugar daddies. Don't fucking do that to anyone you love,it hurts like hell and it's difficult to talk about because it seems dumb to get mad for some drawings. But you yourself said it, what you truly want is validation and attention so it's not that different from cheating if you go that way about it.
But it's fine if you stay clear and get said validation by drawing non sexual things. If my current partner was the author of Naruto or Yugioh they'd have millions of followers, but I'd be cool with it since the subject doesn't get in the way of our love.
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>>3931724
Anon I want you to stay strong and succeed, I believe in you
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>>3933194
Dont think im one of those bastards who wish for war for every little thing, I just want life to stop, it was a mistake, ahpuld have been swiss, huh? It's always funny.
Everything I try, I fail, music? Failure? Writing? I'd prolly fail, any other hobby? Failure. I'm probably an imbecile and a huge cunt, I'm a weakling and I feel like my name is cosmic failure.
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>>3933194
>>3933203
Have either of you ever considered that you have never stuck with anything you've done long enough, or taken it seriously enough to actually become successful at doing what it is you think you want to do?

I don't know about you guys, but I love drawing. Genuinely love it, helps get me out of bed, and gives me something to look forward to doing the next day. I loved it even when I sucked at it because it was still the coolest thing to me, to be able to communicate what I'm thinking to someone else in a visible way. I find a great deal of purpose in it and it is the best way I have to bring my ideas to life.
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>>3932394
I'm young, but old enough to be considered a legal adult. I don't think I'm adopted because my Mom once shouted in tears to my Father, "How could me and you breeding have resulted in THAT." after I failed a pointless test in middle school.
They're both crazy narcissists that had me when they were 18. Thankfully that was the first and only time they said they wished I was never born.
>>3932908
No I don't like my family. I always had the impression that my parents disliked me even as a child. I'll give a few examples. My father would only play video games with my sister, and if I played the same game with her he would never play it again. He would also make fun of the things I liked. When I was a kid he would mockingly call me gay for no reason at all. My family is all obese aside from me, I'm thin and they do not like that. They try to get me to eat more, saying that me being thin sets a bad example for my sisters. My parents and sisters have no friends, but would stalk my Twitter in highschool to see the people that I was talking to. There was one time where my parents had my sisters report my account to try and get me banned even though I just posted about games and art. Last Christmas I bought my sisters japanese import toys they wanted. My parents thanked me by giving my sister the only gift I wanted. It was just a video game, but I'm not allowed to play her games so I never got to play it. They are friendless, jealous people. Jealous of me but I don't want them to be. I just want to live a happy life. I know you're kidding but no Discord.. After being bullied by family, people at school, then my ex girlfriend of three years, I have a schizoid personality now. I'm not happy around people, I'm happy being alone where I feel safe. Nothing makes me more happy than just being alone. When I start posting art again it will be under a private name that I'll never tell my family.

..I'm sorry for another wall of text, it helped me feel better to get it out.
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>>3933222
You sound like what I'd have called a special before. It's just that I like it, I want to be an artist but nothing, I have no talents in life and I'm doomed to fail. I sound like a giant prick so sorry, night.
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>>3933237
>When I start posting art again it will be under a private name I'll never tell my family.
Very good move. Having a second identity to put your art under is the most liberating thing ever. My parents were not malicious like yours are, but unsupportive. Laughed at me for saying I wanted to be an artist in elementary while supporting my brother's cartooning. Not great. The people in the niche I drew for were kind and supportive when nobody else was, honestly. Keeping art as a private, personal, "my and only mine" thing kept me sane for a long time. it gives you a sense of control. And you can get a clean start. Highly recommend. Make it your own. Only yours.
Fwiw I also shut myself off from others for a while. You can come back into the fold when you're ready. Socialization is worth it eventually.
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>>3933258
Thanks for the advice. It's nice to know it worked for you. I'm starting to feel a little less than sane myself but only when around them, I can't even sit at the dinner table with my family without feeling sick to my stomach. When I'm alone in my room at night though, I feel happy and hopeful. I won't let them get to me.
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>>3933237
>..I'm sorry for another wall of text, it helped me feel better to get it out.
It's fine, these are exactly what vent threads are for.
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>>3933272
That's the spirit. Distance helps so much. Keep making it. My mental situation improved a lot when I moved to uni.
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>>3933196
Thanks for your response. It's inappropriate, you're right. Especially when they've verbalized their discomfort already. I will have to take a different route.
>>
God I hate you all faggots.
I hope everyone here fails hard.
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>>3933344
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>>3931021
>>3931023
holy fuck
>>
Seeing people worse than me getting constant commission requests, while I get fucking nothing for a large period of time, and my livelihood depends on it. Gonna run out of savings soon.
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>>3933237
This is making me sad anon. I hope you become successful and your family comes begging for forgiveness one day when you're doing something with your life. Horrible people.
>>
i just want to fucking take a course that focuses on concept art and character design, but the only fucking option is game art and that's mostly all shit i hate with character design and concept stuff sprinkled in, i don't fucking care about games and i fucking hate 3D modelling, i guess i could go with animation but i fucking hate animation courses even more
fucks sake why can't there just be a general concept design course, i don't want to have to do online courses because i already barely leave the fucking house but i think i might have to, or just go with fucking game art
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>>3933453
Learn how to talk to people
Selling commissions isnt just about skills but also your image and persona
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>>3933344
Love you too<3
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>>3933584
Can you elaborate on this, please? I'm socially retarded, so stuff like this is very difficult and unintuitive to me.
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>>3933237
Holy fuck anon. I hope things get better for you. If possible try to move away from them as soon as possible. Your sanity will thank you for that.

Im hoping you make it, anon, either in social media or making it as a full time career. May you some day have all the art gains of the old masters
>>
In what universe is this how you draw a nose? Why do audiences tolerate this insulting low quality garbage? It's your fault that the quality is bad. If their ratings decreased, they'd have improved the quality but you low standard having fat happy consumer idiots allowed this to happen.
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>Finally start knowing what I want to do
>How I want to and what I want to produce
>taking more steps towards it
>Inking more, drawing more, studying more
>even with exams I keep at it because I know what I want to do now.
Now I have an RSI.
All my studies this year are worthless, I'm going to be forces to redo the entire year regardless of what I passed.

I can't draw, I have no reason to study. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
>>
>>3933721
what is an RSI?
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>>3933665
>It's your fault that the quality is bad. If their ratings decreased, ...
? everybody torrents anime.
>>
>>3925103
It happens to everyone bro
>>
>Can't post the art I want to post on big social media (Facebook/Instagram) because privacy does't exist anymore and the platforms suggest my art accounts to my friends/family and they know what my art looks like and I have to keep it nice and clean

I think 99% of my art never makes it online at this point. What are my options other than dA?
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>>3933797
You have 2 choices:
>A) stop giving a fuck what other people think and become the most powerful version of yourself
>B) cuck your own raw talent, imagination, and evolutionary development by splitting your focus to maintain a family-friendly image rather than striving to become an all-powerful masterwork artisan noble remembered throughout the ages
Choose wisely.
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>>3933721
same, started grinding hard and making insane progress this year and got repetitive strain injury.
can't be helped Im not gonna stop drawing, when my hand dies I will have a metal one like guts, whatever. nice try god(s) but I aint giving up my dream
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>>3933607
Thank you very much I'll remember that whenever I'm feeling down. I hope you guys make it too we are all in this together.
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>>3933721
Use a wrist brace to draw, forces you to use your arm and not your wrist.
>>
there is no true topic that really interests me to draw.

the internet is filled with slutty/cute girls + mecha/weapons/fantasy meme illustrations

and i dont even have an idea what would be better.
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>>3933723
Repeated stress injury. Think carpal tunnel, cubital tunnel, tendonitis.
>>
I wanna start a art youtube channel but im worried I will make a fool of myself. The art isn't an issue because welcome really harsh criticism and i think it would be interesting to see improvement over the course of videos . I'm worried of the mouth words that might come out. I'm not a toxic person but I might come off as such if I don't do the whole cute innocent girl thing. Also one part of me is "fuck it use your looks and body to get a following" and the other is "Artistic integrity will get you more respect so don't use underhanded tactics cuz that will cheapen your art" I don't know what direction to take, but its too late cuz i bough a expensive camera so i cant back down now. I cant just vlog because my life is fairly boring. Should I just go for it. I like to do traditional media fantasy sluts with big tits. Will i get shunned for this , I never really post my work online and I dont really do social media ...but I feel like I should if i want to get something out of art.

TLDR// I wanna make a youtube art channel but I'm a huge faggot.
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>>3933886
Go for it. If you're blessed with good looks (or worked very hard to get them, whichever applies to you), you should absolutely use them. I know for all the memeing people do on women who use their looks to jumpstart their careers, most if not all of those people would do the same damn thing if they looked the way these girls do. More power to you anon. I think it might actually work in your favor to not have the goody two shoes image too. It might even be refreshing? to see that.
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>>3933886
Literally no one but bitter 4chan lurkers care about women using their looks to attract an audience. And no one but them and a handfull of people you may meet in person with sticks up their asses care if you draw NSFW. No one's gonna shun you for what you draw unless it's nasty shit like loli, guro, deprived fetish-type art. Just do your best with what you draw and continue to improve.

If you're worried about how to handle the video, just look up Twitch streamers and how they have their set up. Dedicated a majority of your screen to the canvas/painting, and be off to the side where you won't be the focus of the shot, and people can watch you make art.
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>>3933844
This will sound stupid but can I ask how'd you get your RSI diagnosed? I've been drawing on the daily for over a year now and I'm sure the only reason I haven't developed crippling tendonitis is because I use a wrap on my wrist and take frequent breaks. There was only one point early where it felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't draw for more than 15 minutes but nowadays it's more like just a numb sore feeling, like the day after a good workout.
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>>3933886
just do it, go all in. Every youtuber is embarassed by their original videos because you figure out as you go. Just be yourself and be geniune and you have the chance to grow an audience. Don't expect your channel to take off in one video, just keep making videos and be consistent about it. Just have fun, roll with the punches (because everyone inevitability gets a rude comment).
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>favorite artist has stopped posting art for 3 months
>requested to remove all of their art from *booru and deleted almost all accounts, only deviantart and tumblr left
Brehs, I don't like where this is going.
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>>3933890
>>3933896
>>3933905
Thanks anon , you're right... my personality isn't cute and i can't fake cute. I am fuckable with make up so even if i dont explicitly use my tits people will still accuse of it so I should probably just do it. Bottom line is that if my art is good it will speak for itself. Anything in particular that people want to see in a youtube video? I tried watching some channels to get an idea of what rolls but the majority is cute girly stuff that just doesn't appeal to me(dont get me started on the story time LARP shit these girls talk) or tutorials. Im not good enough to do tutorials imo but I want to do big scale fantasy landscapes with sluts and chads. I was thinking of just making stuff on the spot and drawing it without using much reference. I cant tap into fan art because I'm just not a fan of anything popular.
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>>3933886
Post your work and yourself so we can judge objectively
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>>3933921
That will really ruin the who anonymous experience this fine establishment offers for me. Sorry, you'll just have to take my word for it. I'll try and post my first video by the end of this week so if you ever stumble upon someone questionably retarded with a thick European accent on youtube ... you can remember that you guys made it happen.
>>
i just wanna fuck a cute art gf while watching gumroads, fuck this gay earth
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>>3933948
ok godspeed faggot
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>Bought that recent Schoolism lessons bundle pack cause it was on sale
>Start Drawing Fundamentals lesson
>teacher first asks 'what is drawing?'
>goes on about some stupid ass story about how he always asks this to High schoolers, and of course they don't know cause 'lol kids be dumb'
>okay I fucking get it
>"ok you writing this down (viewer)?"
>nigga I am learning something, everyone who buys this $200 lesson pack from a fucking site called SCHOOLism has pen and paper right now for a fucking reason
>patience is thinning even though its the first lesson video
>"alright, so what is drawing? Drawing is seeing"
>then he has the fucking gall to do that god damn pointless 'haha kids have trouble explaining definitions' story in the middle of explaining
>oh yeah, his 'explanation' is 75% "okay what is it?" "so uh uh uh" and repeating the question five million times
FUCK is this the reason why art is hard? Because most people just can't go through this absolute faggotry of NOTHING HAPPENING?
Obviously I'm not going to quit/stop because of a stupid complaint like this- maybe I'm just having a bad day and I'm a grumbling bitch right now. But I swear if this mother fucker has the energy to go on and on about something unimportant, then he better fucking give a godly and extensive presentation about the important shit of fundamentals, explaining in immense detail like he's doing right now.
If he's not and only passionate about explaining bullshit that isn't as important then I'm going to flip my shit.
/vent
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>>3934050
also I'm 'mad' because I went through a few youtube tutorials that were too vague on explaining certain parts in their how to draw videos or whatever. I just wish that they would spend the most time explaining the key points instead of regurgitating shit everyone already has heard in other lessons.
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>>3933797
Don't use your real name when signing up and keep all of your art hidden. Works for me.
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>>3933597
He won't because no one offers answers, because 90% of people here are absolute bottom of the barrel trash and anyone that knows how to navigate the hellhole that is getting started professionally, is snickering at us directionless fools.
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>>3933948
fuck off then. Fucking complaining about dumb bullshit. People off you answers and all you can say is "aww no people on 4chin will know who I am".
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>>3933909
who are they?
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>>3933909
>artist suddenly purges everything after finding out 1 repost from IG
>without any warning
>deactivates a few hours later
These fucking nips, man. Can I at least get a warning so I can save all your shit?
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>>3934050
kek'd hard at your experience, good shit
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>>3934050
>goes on about some stupid ass story about how he always asks this to High schoolers, and of course they don't know cause 'lol kids be dumb'

The amount of shit you gotta go trough to learn how to draw a line. That is why I speed up tutorial videos. So much filler.

>>3934215
fag
>>
>finally get comfortable drawing eyes
>lips still look weird
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>>3933839
>implying anything is better than cute grills and robutts
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>>3933721
Because you didn't mention them explicitly, use your mouse with your left hand and draw with your wrist off the table and not touching anything. This is the first time I've heard what RSI is. I'm not sure if you're well and fucked.

>>3933918
>my personality isn't cute and i can't fake cute
If you can try to mimic Snipe of Snipe and Wib
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF13Y-wpRSw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptPv7rMgRE4
They're the only female entertainer that I know that is actually funny

>>3933597
What the other guy said. Also it's a really open-ended question, you know?
... no clue. Consider having a detox period where you don't go on 4chan and just talk with people online. Don't check the news, have an adblocker on, read a story. Here, recs:

https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/genocide-man-a-black-and-white-webcomic.263780/
(Webcomic. Cyberpunk. Dark)

http://www.marycagle.com/letsspeakenglish/prologue-1-off-we-go
(Webcomic. Real life stories/slice of life about a woman abroad in japan as a language teacher. Surprisingly tolerable)

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3155
https://www.sumatrapdfreader.org/free-pdf-reader.html
(massive, massive archive of public-domain writing. put a random 1-5 digit number in the URL, receive literature. Low numbers seem to be articles of American law, though most of the thing is fiction. you'll need a PDF viewer to read the files)
>>
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Yesterday was my last day of school. I hadnt gone to any classes since spring break. Thats the second time I failed out of college. I think my parents are tired of me being a loser. In a month I'll be 21. I have no or career prospects at all.
Two years ago when I dropped out the first time I started drawing after watching some sinix videos and getting into "concept art". I thought I was just going to draw cool shit for games but its become so much more. Its completely changed my life. The progress that I've made isnt crazy but its definitely there. I feel its somewhat a reflection of my growth as person.
Today my dad commented that I cant keep playing video games all day and I screamed at him. I know hes right but it hurts that he cant at least recognize my effort. I've struggled for a long time but I quit video games entirely a couple months ago. I've been ashamed of the time I wasted for so long and I've really been trying to discipline myself ever since I got into art.
I feel like no one sees how far I've come. They just see me failing, and not living up to my potential. They dont see how hard I really am on myself. They don't see the pain of being unneeded and unwanted. I know people in my life care about me but its impossible to believe when I've never achieved anything. Drawing is the only thing that distracts me from the shame of being nothing.
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>>3933196
I cant imagine being in a relationship where me or my partner feel the need to control each other this much
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>>3934535
I mean I cant mimic someones sense of humor , but this is definitely helpful. Her tone and speed of speaking is very appealing. Also like how these videos aren't wasting my time with useless information. Thanks anon.

>>3934542
Don't give up. Set yourself small weekly goals that contribute to the main goal. Think where you want to see yourself in five years and make it your main quest. I'm sure your family is more supportive than you think and that they are just worried about you because they want to see you succeed. They are probably just shit at showing support. You dont need to completely give up on video games, just manage your time better. Don't stop growing. I found that seeing life as a boring video game kinda helps... a bit autistic but I actually sometimes write myself weekly quests and do them.
Example: This week at some point I will go out and do life drawings. Reward: 4 hours of video games and a juicy burger.
I make a few quests a week but you gotta keep em realistic, adding rewards keeps the dopamine up. Hope this helps.
>>
I'm just putting this out here as I saw a thread some months ago that had a back and forth that I identified with, but didn't take part in.
I'm awkward and more or less a social airhead, and guarded beyond any reason, and because of this I left a lot of wrong impressions that managed to snowball into a lot of hate. I say a lot of things that I'm oblivious to the connotations in the moment, sometimes absurdly so, and I'm sorry for being so careless with things I've since realized either don't truly reflect how I really feel, could be taken the wrong way, or represented frustration more than anything. I had more than my hand in misrepresenting myself, and overextending myself out of grief. It's disheartening to be taken so wrong out of the gate by people you've never met, to not be able to believe people are genuine, and to have them not believe you are as well. I'm sorry for dragging anyone down with my horseshit, I never meant anything malicious or underhanded really, but I was looking for the wrong answers in the wrong places. I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly as well, and if I took anything the wrong way from anyone. I have a hard enough time with misinterpretation -both ways- in real life. I doubt strongly I'll be back, just out of personal preference and belief at this point, but I wish all of you nothing but the best in life. And I hope you find joy and contentment, and more, are able to pass it on to others. As I set out to do, and promise to do so again one way or another. Ganbatte! And godspeed.
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>>3934628
Shit that was long
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>>3934556
Yar he’s a mate guarding beta. She’s probably cheating on him
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>>3934628
Wait who are you talking to
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>>3934640
https://warosu.org/ic/thread/S3636777#p3644871

And others, though maybe I'm projecting.
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>>3925103
You had me until you fucked up by making this shit up. Thanks for nothing faggot.
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>>3934646
confusing ...everything will be okay ?
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>>3934662
Yes, everything will be ok, just airing something long overdue.
Ganbatte anon
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>>3925002
I draw better straight lines with my non dominant hand and it pisses me off endlessly having to swap hands to do stuff
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>>3934599
>I'm sure your family is more supportive than you think and that they are just worried about you because they want to see you succeed
I hate people like you that just toss platitudes out.
Sometimes your family is just buttblasted that their nephews are outdoing you, or that their rep as a parent is on the line, or that they're just sick of seeing your face around home more often than they'd like. Sometimes your family has pre-constructed a checklist at your birth of things they expect you to accomplish and if you fail to do any of that or stumble along the way they emotionally gut you like a fucking fish. Sometimes family is just assholes.

I'm not that anon but I know that family never sees the struggle. They don't see that you were up 2 hours late studying or prepping for the week, but they do see that you slept in half an hour that one fucking time. They don't see you hoarding resources and dredging through all of it for anything you can find useful, but they'll certainly remind you that you should feel bad for taking a day or two off. They don't notice when you make concession after concession to make their life easier, but the one time you ask for a favor everyone immediately blows up on you. They don't see you doing everything in your power to steer your life in a new way, but any time you fall into an old habit for even a minute they ream you out for days.
I already know where I'm a fuckup but the fact that not only will they call me twice the fuckup I already am but the few successes I have basically don't exist to them and they're slowly forgetting the few that they used to acknowledge is really eating me. I was unironically less depressed as a NEET that just sat upstairs and never talked to them than I am as someone trying to go and advance myself. I've been on the edge of crying in public every time I've gone out in public for the last month or two and the only reason I'm not fucked up at home is that this place keeps me occupied.
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>>3934556
Your SO posting sexy pictures is a universal no, can we agree to that? Well I believe lewd drawings are pretty much an extension to that. My girl making drawings under her name to make anons get off and give her money and attention sounds pretty bad.

Mind you, it wouldn't be nearly as bad if she was using a genderless alt and avoided interacting with the fan base. But outright being that one girl anyone can talk to to buy drawn porn from her is almost like getting her nudes.
>>
>>3934709
Your relationship is fucked dude, but don’t realise it yet.
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>>3934709
>Your SO posting sexy pictures is a universal no, can we agree to that?
As a general rule most people are fine with anything that isn't literal nude pics.
>Well I believe lewd drawings are pretty much an extension to that
Your logic is kinda fucked.
>My girl making drawings under her name to make anons get off and give her money and attention sounds pretty bad.
Why are you with someone who's hobbies you don't approve of. Go fuck some other bitch instead of forcing your girl to tailor her life to your whims
>>
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>not an artist and rarely draw
>be decent enough
>don't draw for 3 years
>decide to try drawing something
>lost any skill I had
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>>3931021
>>3931023
Legendary. Saved.
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>>3932412
Change your DNS to 1.1.1.1 (see https://1.1.1.1/ for details)
If that doesn't work try DNSCrypt or Stubby.
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>>3934752
oops I meant https://1.1.1.1/dns/
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>get into vidya and anime as a kid, mom was a weeb so she let me
>really like both, got into drawing and game design and hoped to work in the game industry one day
>pour my soul in learning how to draw and how to design appealing characters, as well as game design
>really like a particular japanese game company, their design philosophy really resonates with me
>working for them is my dream, i could be paid in one cup of instant ramen made with toilet water every month and be absolutely happy
>they very rarely work with westerners for anything that isnt localization, and even less with western illustrators
>tfw was born in shitty spic country so will most likely never ever achieve my dream of working for them
Should i just kill myself at this point?
>>
The limits of my ability are making themselves very clear lately, I'm trying to reach a new plateau but it's fucking hard putting in time while having a seed of doubt grow larger everyday
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>>3934784
life exists outside of this company anon, the only thing that will hold you back from success is a poor attitude and just blaming the country you live in. you might not get to work with that company, but you definitely never will if you kill yourself. what company is it?
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>>3928864
>only source of criticism is /beg/
That's not good anon. This place is a haze of negativity and full of isolated people. The replies you get are rarely genuine. You don't notice it until you step back and see. It's not that there aren't good or well-intentioned artists here, but it is 4chan. Stay here long enough and you'll forget that the real world isn't like this.
>>
>>3934784
No. What you should do is be realistic and self-aware. Look at where you are, look at what you're doing. Do you think anyone who
>A) wants to work at that company while already living in Japan
and
>B) wants to work at that company while also living abroad
is doing with themselves what you are doing with yourself?

If I had to guess, there are many skilled contenders that have already been turned down for an opportunity there. If I also had to guess, most if not all applicants had worked significantly hard and diligently to even build a portfolio worth anyone's serious consideration.

Do you come here often, anon? How does your portfolio look? What are you working on? What are you doing for yourself right now that will help you reach your goal?

All difficult questions, I know. I find that every good artist - any person who's good at what they do, really - often asks themselves difficult questions and is willing to put in the effort to answer them.

>>3934788
The only excusable limit to your ability is if you were missing hands. Ability is boundless. Limit is only in time - time enough to do what you set out to do. If you are unsatisfied with where you are in terms of skill and find difficulty in improving then it is because you are not making a conscious effort to adapt.
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>>3931724
Just dropping by to call your gay ass father and sjw sister to get fucked. We got far too many asshole artists and bias in this world, the less of them the better. Godspeed to you anon and same to your grandparents.
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>>3933237
Classic child abuse by a narcissistic parent. Single one child out as the scapegoat and praise the other as perfect. Look it up and seek therapy. Hope you get out of that toxic situation soon.
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>>3934784
Start your own company in said spic country
>>
>>3925002 (OP)
>Draw decent cute fanarts
>one person commented how cute it is
>thanks them as a reply
>a few hours later see an inbox notification
>it's the same person
>looks at their account, they're either a young kid or an autist judging by their trad fanart
>"I really love your art anon!"
>"Thank you, much appreciated"
>"So wassup? ^___^"
???
I really hate this. We're not even close. Don't act chummy with me. I'm only here to post my shit
>>
Ive been studying gesture and color theory for 4-6 hours a day and have shown more improvement in the last week than I have in the two years before. It feels good to improve, but I feel like shit for wasting years when this was all I had to do. I worked harder instead of smarter this whole time.
>>
>>3934849
If you're going to be asocial, why not just close down pm's from nonmutuals etc? At the very least I hope you're forward about it, for the sake of people you dont see as worth your time. Not everyone outside of ic sees it as a job environment or competition.
>>
>>3934849
>>"So wassup? ^___^"
Fucking this, how do you deal with those guys?
People outside of 4chan are easily offended, even worst when you're dealing with those SJW people.
Really wish people would stop PM me for the dumbest shit. Yes I made art about that character I like, no I don't want to talk to you, a stranger, about it.
>>
>>3934859
I get pm from people every now and then asking if they can use my art for their profile headers etc., people reporting a repost, or someone asking for my process.

>At the very least I hope you're forward about it, for the sake of people you dont see as worth your time
I ignore these people 2bh. I'd rather not give my attention to them. I know some of these just want to casual talk but most of the time they want free art from you or they're socially awkward creeps
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>>3934696
I really hate entitled self righteous NEETs like you. No one owes you shit in this world.
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>>3934992
Fuck you, boomer.
>>
>>3935007
Probably younger than you. But thank you for existing NEETs , you make a already overly saturated market more bearable by being weak willed self righteous little bitches.
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>>3925002
>be me
>digital art student at community college for fun
>sign up for digital illustration
>hyped as shit
>cant wait to learn so many new skills to help me become a better digital artist
>teacher is more useless than the internet
>learn nothing new
>ask him for tips
>tells me to google
Are other art schools like this? Would i be wasting my time leaving a community college?
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>>3934992
Blow me sideways bitch. I'm not owed shit by anyone. I would just hope that my family of all people would at the very least not make my life worse. I'm also not a neet anymore
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>>3934992
No one in the world is owed shit but if you can't agree with a point as generic as "Some families simply aren't supportive and don't deserve patience" it shows how little you've probably struggled with dealing with these kinds of situations.
>>
legit fucking hate how this guy has a much larger following than me, gets asked for commissions all the time, yet his art is total fucking shit, not to mention he's a stuck-up fuck who can't take criticism whatsoever, fucking hate this shit man
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>>3935619
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>>3935619
Their username?
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>>3931724
What is it with siblings doing that anyway? I got into art fairly recently and have gotten a lot of praise for the stuff I've made. Now my younger sis is doing it too.
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>>3925623
Probably being overly critical
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>>3931724
stay strong anon, I grew up in a very narcissistic family too and it's awful. do what you must to get out, you seem to have great motivation, I believe in you
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>>3934696
What makes this worse is how doublestandard this shit is. Fucking this man, humanity is fucking retarded.
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>>3934784
No, either join Wayforward or just make your own studio. Working with Nintendo or Sony is a death wish, they only work on nepotism and nepotism alone. It's not worth it.
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>>3934849
It's really hard to keep getting into this situation, it was really bad for me back in the early 2010s when I was younger and not as self aware of what this shit could end up by weird and emotional people. Learned the hard way don't be friendly to strangers, no matter how much attention they give you.
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>>3935130
Schools focused entirely around art will be better, they will push you harder and the faculty less useless. General schools are shit at teaching art. Some of the teachers know what they're doing, but it's a crapshoot, and usually the courses are structured like shit, so there's only so much a good teacher can do. I have been really disappointed by art at my general uni.
I don't think it would be wasting your time to leave the CC. However if you can't make the time commitment or afford a fully art school then it might be the best you can get.
>>
>>3934784
bwahahahah It's always so hilarious reading these
another failed Weeb Liefeld bites the dust
>>
One time a painting teacher told me
>Hmm, there's a sort of angst to your strokes/brushwork
What did she mean by this? For what it's worth I'm not great with linework.
>>
I cut my right hand pointer and middle finger on the table saw. I'll be fine but I cant draw for like 2 weeks and now im big sad and bored.
>>
>>3933196
You need to work your issues mate
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>>3934855
You're on the right path, anon
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>>3936034
wtf ow
>>
>play a game match against someone who is streaming
>beat them
>go to stream and say they suck
>get told "it's their first time playing"...
>30 minutes go by match with him again and play
>he beats me
>go back to his stream and people are giving him tips on how to play while he's actually taking the time in learning the commands

It's a short version but this has been the biggest wake up call for me. I do things simply to enjoy it even if I suck. I just want to jump in and do something but never take the time to really learn (well not completely true what I mean is "learn enough" just to get by). Meanwhile I expect to beat others just because I've been at it longer than they have. But I should expect that to happen there are people who come in and learn and take the time to learn and keep learning.


Then again he could just be a jumper from another game who is already good and just needed to learn this specific games mechanics. Another possibility since I don't play games often anyway.
>>
>>3933196
I have some bad news about your relationship, mate...
>>
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF ARTBOOKS IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING USE IT AS REFERENCE WITHOUT IT AUTO CLOSING

HOW THE FUCK HAVE WE GONE LITERAL MILLENIAS WITHOUT INVENTING BOOKS THAT FUCKING STAY OPEN WHEN YOU FUCKING OPEN THEM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK
>>
>>3927101
Please do not kill yourself. Why do you want to commit suicide?



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