Hard Yet Fair Matriarch Edition. This time we'll try not to die Previous thread: >>29699926 GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives: http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea (embed) (embed) Prompt collection: http://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv (embed)
>>29701902I was gone for like 20 minutes, what the hell happened?
>mods>>29701908It was pruned by mods.
>>29701908Maybe a mod thought the other thread's image was close enough to anthro?
>>29701902Mods/Janitors are retards. There was nothing wrong with the previous image. Oh well.
>>29701924>pruned instead of just removing OP imaget-thanks...
>>29701931My boss just called me at home.Thanks, asshole.
>>29701931nice milkbagswould she be the mareliest of mares having teats like that
>>29701902>oppic is only looks anthro at first glance>thread goes on for more than half a day>pruned instead of pic deleted >after 9001 consecutive and steady general recreations, one of which branched into 5+ threads before only the strongest survived, the cycle is broken>[lacrimosa intensifies]
>>29702031>>29701933You are being too obvious. Nobody is this selectively blind.
Did we lose the green from the murdered thread?
>>29702152I imagine APA still has it somewhere.
>>29702200It's in his pastebin still
>>29701902We never had this fucking problem when we used the classic RGRE OP Pics.Bring back the Dong Ring
>>29702353or better yet, draw more thread art for the OP
http://i.imgur.com/WVSW2MJ.jpgI'm not fixing the spoilers. That would require too much effort.
>>29702394This.>>29702353Your overused and forced meme is dead.
>>29702394Is Bombshell sufficiently topic-related, or is she not RGRE enough?
>>29702394how about this
>>29702441She is literally the waifu we created specifically to as cute as possible in RGREquestria.So, no. But if you say "something something rgre" at the end then it's fine. Just don't have her mention Discord.
>>29702453why putin tho?
>>29702391Reminds me of the good days.Except the picture itself is objectively bad, especially if used as an oppic.Too much going on, too much detail - so the thumb looks like some random noise.The style makes it painful to look at, which isn't good for an image we get to see every fucking thread.Perhaps now that the donger wars are over someone should repurpose it.
>>29702475>cute>not RGRE enoughWhat the buck did you just bucking say about me, you little bench?
>>29702394Still waiting for new requests, as I said many times. Only Moondancer was suggested, and one... or rather "half of a" thread ago also you make it sound like there's not enough pics to use as OP>>29702441>Literally created by this thread pony, through anons collaboration in more than 600 posts, 2 threads and with three different designs at leastHmmm... maybe?
>>29702535We have many, many stories from this thread but barely any art. How weird is that?
>>29702504Just make him green and put a question mark on his faceBam! OP pic.
>>29702688Fine, have him ree at not being dominant.
>>29702601You mean many promts, not stories. All my thread pics aside from some lewd exceptions are stories related, including last redrawing of Succubuspone, and some old requests still awaits of old stories continuations to be related to thread. I can try to do random Moondancer or Anon vs Applejack gunfight, but don't have any rgre or thread related requests aside from those two (and second one I'm not sure how to make rgre or at least latest threads revelant)
>>29702535bony Moonie trying to mend her disintegrating sweater, failing and holding back tears "no-no-no no!" whenunconscious Moonie at the bottom of a flight of stairs in her basement with a couple of picrelateds rolling around whenBy the way, do you approve >>29702533?
>>29702508Until somebody else does a better job:
>>29702755Okay, I'll try this two then if no more thread revelant requestsLove it
>You are anon and you are dealing with yet more show offs>These vapid horse creatures, you refuse to call these things ponies, will not just fuck off>Trying to have a nice meal with you herd>And that's when you got an idea>You give the hand signal to huddle up"So, I never asked this and I'm sorry I'm going to, so which one of you is technically the ugliest one?">One of the ponies backs out of the conversation fast so you assume"Ah, is if flur? she is a bit weird shaped for a pony">At this a number of the mares laugh"NOT saying you are ugly to me, or weird, just differently shaped... wow this topic cannot be broached easily">Be flur de lis momentarily>This is the first time in your life that someone said you were ugly>Well, assumed you were ugly>He really is unable to tell is he>you shake your head"Honey, I'm a literal super model... Haven't you seen me on magazines?>He looks stunned>"How it the fuck did I get a super model?">He realizes you asked a question and snaps out of his question>"You ever do a pinup for O&O monthly, or the weekly hyperspace pamphlets?">You smile and shake your head"No, and for the record, that's how you got me">You are anon again>You feel a tugging at your sleeve>Its moondancer>Her adorable turtleneck>The nerdy glasses>The blush of embarrassment>"That would probably be me">And the look of 'I just admitted a hard fact, fuck my life' >Well... good thing she is right next to you>You put a hand under the table>"...And we would be FAR more suitable to be yours then...">Everyone is cut off by a rather loud hiiiii from moondance>Suddenly the pony who is the 'ugliest at the table goes from embarrassed, to sad, then back to embarrassed but with a different color"Well, go on, keep telling me why you are better">They look to each other and are about to continue and are about to speak>Moondancer cant hold it in any more, lets out a throaty moan, and splotches on the floor
>>29702838>The few creatures in your herd that didn't know what was going on, know damn well what just happened>Moondancer has a look of embarrassment, and satisfaction"AWE yea, new record, 7 seconds">2 and 2 have been added in the mares looking ot herd with you, and they came out with 5>"You only lasted 7 seconds?">You reply excitedly, not noticing moony shrink back a bit"I know right, you have any idea how fun it is to fuck her stupid?">You reach down and start fingering both holes, much to moonies reluctance>This time all the ponies around you know what's going on>"How could a mare last shorter then her stallion, that's pathetic""Who cares?">Everyone around just looks at you, probably a ton of fast cumming mares are hinged on your words"Its not like you become un fuckable when you cum, unlike a normal stallion who may not get it up again that day">About to say something they are interrupted by number 2 from moony. >And her head is down on the table, tongue loling out"Look at that face, that satisfied look...">All eyes are on moony, who is riding it out sucking your finger with surprising force with bother her marehood and anus. "Welp, it was a wonderful lunch. flur dear, can you stay back and pay, moonies in no real condition to walk so I'm taking her home. when you get back we can start working off all the food we ate the best way we know how.">She smiles and nods her head>You pick up a very messy moondancer, and for the first time show the mares what you were doing as your hand is still 3 fingers in one hole with your thumb on the slightly to large button. >A little motion of the thumb gets winking and sucking action going, >You walk out, enterage ent tail, ready for a very fun afternoon.>Be show off pony>This is the moment>Right here>That you know celestia died and a changeling took over her place. >Yes for this to happen, celestia is dead.
>>29702535A panicking and thrashing Moondancer being picked up by a Anon who wants her to stop studying and take her to go eat something
all i want is a cute little mare to cum inside of start a family with and have lots of foalsis that so much to ask
>>29702838Stopped reading when I realized that capitalizing someone's name is a foreign concept to you. >Ah, is if flur?What did he mean by this?
>>29702152http://pastebin.com/PfvhAejwnew update starts at line 386
>>29702353The Dong shall rise again
>>29703203Anon better hug the two apples
>>29702838>>29702843Your grammar is fucking atrocious, but otherwise its a nice idea.
>Anon and Twilight are talking about interdimensional shit>It occurs to them that most dimensions seem to share common counterparts>They use the map to find Anon's pony counterpart and track him down to sate their curiosity>Anonpone turns out to be the softest, most coltish, most fuccboiest stallion that ever lived>Anon is violently disappointed>He decides to mold Anonpone into a rough and tumble, pussy-grabbing man's man in hopes of redeeming his ancestral lineage>Dadanon didn't raise no faggot>Even if Dadanon is a theoretically a horse in this scenario>Anonpone agrees>...Only because he thinks Anon's cute, and he thinks he has a shot with him
>>29703361>fucking atrociousStop being a bitch.
>>29703432It is atrocious, he's right.
>>29703015Yes, yes it is.You know why?Because she isn't real. Waiting for you to arrive after the 1034th failed summoning ritual.
This thread needs more apprentice Anon getting into shenanigans with the various races of Equestria.Especially dragons. The dragonlord in particular. Ember wasn't sure why she suddenly felt a chill run down her spine when she met Anon - until he mentioned just who he apprenticed under…Johnniass Dragonraper.
>>29700321Condolences to my boy APA for being doomed to post in ded threads. Limey was cute, mod was a fag.
>>29703524This. It's was like... paper work!
>APA writes so bad that the mods deleted the thread.lmao.
>>29702835Well, if no one else will say anything,Anon, school teacher standing at the blackboard. A unicorn mare student at her desk eyes his bulge and licks her lipsButler Anon bends over while cleaning while Diamond Tiara watchesAnon lies on a towel by the beach while a blushing Celestia rubs sunscreen on his back
Still waiting lero and anon.>>29703524>i miss you APA-san
>>29703648Okay, that's actually pretty funny.
>>29703730I'll always be in your heart, Anon-kun. You make my kokoro go doki doki
>>29703730lero is kill
>>29703203>spittingWhat a fucking faggot.
>>29703949I figured it was for lubricating the horn, and done before the act.What the fuck is a horn supposed to leak that you may spit out?
>>29703968Magaculate, of course
>>29704040I can't help but think that must feel like all your sinuses suddenly all clearing up at once, any and all pressure releasing.
>>29704040Fun fact: Consuming magical horn-ejaculation (ladies) can actually temporarily grant the swallower limited magical abilities. It's in Anon's interests to start being really popular amongst the mare crowd.
>"Please, Anon, could you do this little thing for me?""No! I'm sorry, babe, but it's not happening. I'm not doing it.">"Oh, come on! Why not?""Because I don't want to.">"Why?""Because... Because it's fucking gay, alright?">"What are you talking about? There's nothing gay about it at all, it's a perfectly normal thing for a stallion to do. And I just know you'd look great!""Yeah, well, it'd be gay back where I come from.">"And where are we now?""...In Equestria.">"Exactly! Look, Anon, I won't ask you to do this everyday. Just today, since it's my birthday? "I don't know...">"Pleeease?""...Fine.">"Yes!""But you'll have to do something for me later, okay?">"Sure, that's fair.I'll go get the makeup."Assuming whatever version of RGRE you ended up in had stallions that girly, would your wear makeup, lipstick and stuff if your waifu really wanted you to?
>>29704093As long as I'm still giving her the dick later.Don't think I'd look very good as a trap though.
>>29704093Only on special occasions.
Sh-should I repost what got deleted? This wasn't covered in the writefag etiquette handbook they gave me when I made my pastebin account.
>>29704093Yes. She's my waifu for a reason, anon.I'd be a painted up whore if I had to, as long as it had her twitching and glassy-eyed and trying to keep herself from flagging so the other ponies can't tell how wet she is. They can still smell it, though.
>>29704178Welp, it's one for one and majority rules.>150 years in the past>You are Anonymous.>You've been wandering around Equestria ever since you were first spat out here a couple of years ago, eager to see what this new world had to offer you.>As soon as you had enough money to buy a small carriage (complete with a bit of magic to make pulling it around a lot easier), you had taken to travelling.>Your goal was to see every city in the land and then move on to some other country - so far you've only been to five or six cities and have recently decided to move onto smaller towns.>You've been all over Equestria; from the arid wastes of Appleloosa to the highrises and harbors of Manehattan.>You enjoyed your time a lot in Manehattan - entertainment and novelties were never in short supply there.>Street-corner attractions, busy restaurants, fairgrounds on the piers with music and light bulb-studded ferris wheels that lit up at night...>God, how you had loved the city's night life.>Liquor that flowed like water; whispered under-the-table deals kept the bits changing hooves; stallions on stage in layered skirts who linked arms and kicked their legs for the entertainment of the roaring crowd...>...maybe you didn't enjoy the dancing stallions as much as the mares did, but they were all part of the atmosphere that you enjoyed.>It seemed like this on-the-rise megalopolitan was built up on squeezing every last dollar - er, bit - out of each naive, bright-eyed tourist visiting Manehattan for their first time.>God knows it nearly squeezed YOU dry; you were swept away by the never-ending excitement and before you knew it, you were handing out your last non-essential bit away in exchange for a corndog.>Not that that was very much of a problem. When you ran out of spending money, the smell of the sea made night-time walks a fine replacement for all the expensive treats that Manehattan had to offer.
>>29704209>Even with antique (from your perspective) gas lamps dotting the sidewalks and old-fashioned carriages criss-crossing the cobblestone streets, Manehattan really put up a fight against your memories of an Earth city with a similar name.>At the end of your stay in Manehattan, the only money you had saved was just enough to buy supplies - food, water, and replacement parts for your carriage - to make it to Canterlot.>It was a long road, but the flat ground made it easy to pull your little home-on-wheels along.>To properly compare travel times, walking through the bumpy hill-lands of Filly Delphia to your previous destination of Manehattan had taken almost the same amount of time as gliding over the flat planes between Manehattan and Canterlot.>A few odd jobs down in Canterlot (telling stories; selling some novelties from Manehattan and Filly Delphia) got you enough cash to buy some more supplies to make it to Ponyville.>You've heard good things about that place; endless fields thanks to its farming community, and a population that's friendly and tight-knit.>You heard this from exactly one pony, so you'll take it with a grain of salt.>In the end, it doesn't matter which small town you choose to go to first - you'll reach them all eventually and Ponyville is as good a place to start as any other.>After a few weeks on the road, you pull your little carriage along a bumpy, beaten dirt path into town.>You can see smoke rising in the distance, coming from a gathering of thatched-roof cottages and stone towers.------------->A long stretch of road lays before you and Ponyville, guarded on both sides with wooden fence.>The sun beats down on you from above, and a light breeze carries the scent of apples.>It's a very rustic experience, and you can't help but smile.>You can already tell that life here in Ponyville is going to be much different from life in the big cities.
>>29704216>Large countrysides stretch out like a green wave as far as the eye can see, bordered by a large forest in the distance.>The grass is green and the dirt path is uneven, unlike the smooth cobblestone roads of Manehattan.>The air is fresh and free of the ever-present stench of oil that plagued you way back in he other cities and stuck to your clothes like a film.>You thought the smell would never come off, but a couple weeks of wandering through nature did the job for you.>The wind; the endless fields; the wild forest in the distance; the uneven dirt path...>It all gives the impression that whoever built their town here is just borrowing from the earth instead of trying to conquer it.>Up along the path, you spot the other other soul you've come across since Canterlot: a light brown mare with a dark, wavy mane perched up on one of these fences.>She's relaxing with her head in her forehooves, propping herself up against one of the rails that stretch between big, round posts.>The way she looks at you as you approach along the bumpy trail is that of a mare at complete leisure. She doesn't even bother to open her eyes up all the way as she examines you with a sleepy, half-lidded gaze. >When the mare decides that you've gotten close enough, she raises her head and gives it a quick twist, sighing in relief as the resulting -crack- fills the air.>"Oh me, oh my, but you're a biggin'," she drawls, "Just what in Equestria do they feed you?">What fortunate timing for you - you're barely even inside of Ponyville's borders and you've already found someone who can give you some directions.>You dig your heels into the ground and press your back into the walls of your carriage, easing it to a stop; it would be impolite to just ignore this pony and keep on going along your way.>You might only spend a few weeks at a time around ponies, but that doesn't mean you've forgotten how not to be rude.
>>29704226>The mare's eyes look between you and the fence she's resting on, and she adjusts her rear hooves a bit.>"Now hold up jus' a second, hun," she tells you, sticking her tongue out the corner of her mouth in concentration>The brown mare braces her legs and wiggles her bum (for an extra boost) before leaping over the fence with a graceful hop.>Now that she's no longer obscured by a fence post, you're finally able to see her cutie mark.>It looks like some kind of brown slice of pie with a dollop of whipped cream on top.>"I don't think I've seen y'all 'round these here parts," she says with a curious tilt of her head, "Just who might you be?""You wouldn't have seen me; I'm not from around here. This is my first time in Ponyville.">The mare nods to herself, seemingly satisfied with your answer.>With a proud smile, she holds a hoof out to you to shake.>"The name's Apple Brown Betty.">She jabs her head off to the side, gesturing in the general direction of the fenced-off fields behind her.>"My family owns the farmlands you see here. We grow the finest apples y'all ever did taste.">You kneel down carefully to get down on your new friend's level.>You reach out and wrap your fingers around her proffered hoof, making sure not to squeeze too tightly; ponies seem to find your grip unsettling at times."It's nice to meet you, Apple Brown Betty," you say, "I'm Anonymous, but you can call me Anon. I-">Apple Brown Betty squeaks in surprise when you grip her hoof.>She pulls her hoof closer to her face (taking your hand along for the ride) and examines it, poking at your fingers with her free hoof.>"Celestia above, what the hecky-heck are these thangs?">The moment her hoof touches one of your fingers, she pulls it sharply back and squeaks in alarm.>"Wh-what are-">This is by far your favourite reaction in ponies.>Places this far out probably don't see too many minotaurs, so fingers are a foreign concept to them.
>>29704234>Most ponies in general aren't all that keen on things that can grab and hold them.>You give her hoof a gentle squeeze and try not to make noises of delight when Apple Brown Betty squeals and tries to tug her hoof out of your hand.>"H-Hey!">Yeah, okay, this has gone on for long enough.>There's having fun with a pony, and then there's screwing around with a perfect stranger.>You release your grip and let the brown mare pull her hoof away from you.>Apple Brown Betty does a little horsey dance in-place, dragging her forehooves through the dirt every couple of clip-clops as if trying to rub the sensation of your fingers off of her hooves.>Her face is the perfect picture of someone whose foot just touched seaweed while swimming in the ocean.>"Th-That was w-weird!" gasps Apple Brown Betty as she finally comes to a stop.>She's left a panting, sweating mess.>After a few moments of recovering, she grins and holds her hoof back out.>"Do it again."----------->"So, where's yer mare?" she asks, looking over her shoulder and down the path where you came from, "I didn't see no pony cross my path before you showed up; is she back at the town border doin' something?""I don't have a mare, miss. I've been all on my own since I left Canterlot last week.">The brown mare laughs jovially.>"No, but seriously," she says, giggling a bit as she tries to get her laughter under control, "Is yer mare gonna make an appearance soon? Y'all can't keep blocking the road like this for very long.""No, really," you insist, "I'm all on my own.">The mare peers at you suspiciously as her muzzle slowly curls up into a mighty scrunch.>After a moment, she reers back wide-eyed and nearly trips over her own four hooves>"Holy hay, you aren't kidding."
>>29704243>LATER>"And here we are!">Apple Brown Betty pants as she tugs your cart the last couple of yards, sweating bullets and pulling the carriage forward in irregular bursts of strength.>The farm pony had insisted on pulling your cart for you all the way from the entrance road to Ponyville to her farm, where she promised there would be an unused plot of field that you could part your vehicle on - a whole two kilometres of uneven, sloping ground.>Apple Brown Betty collapses on the ground, unmoving except for the powerful heaves of her chest as she does her best to take in as much oxygen as possible.>Earth pony or not, that was a human-sized carriage (mobility cart-magic notwithstanding) and Betty here was just a waist-high tiny horse with fuzzy marshmallows for legs.>The mare tries to stand up, but her legs won't hold her weight; they wiggle comically before she collapses, legs splayed out in all directions.>You'd feel bad for her if she hadn't chased you away from your cart each time you tried to help shoulder the load like some kind of four-legged, territorial goose.>Fucking geese.>"Th-there!" she pants, weakly pawing at the impromptu pony-straps that she tied to your cart, "N-now we can w-wait for your friend t-to show up.">You just roll your eyes and walk over to undo the hitch for her; Apple Brown Betty mumbles her thanks but makes no move to, well... move."Well," you drawl, "So far, we've succeeded in shooting the shit for about an hour on the side of a dirt road without seeing any other mares walking by.">You take a seat on the hard ground next to her head and start to stroke her mane.>Sapient or not, these creatures were a joy to pet."Are you happy now? And I'm not blocking the road into town anymore, just like you wanted.">"Th'road touches my land," she says in between breaths, "It's my responsibility.">You scratch behind her ears and watch one of her hind legs twitch.
>>29704251>It would be kicking if Apple Brown Betty could actually feel her legs."I think you just wanted to get a stallion onto your property," you say teasingly, "All alone and without a single friend in town. Why...">You lie down on your side next to your new friend, making sure to get yourself at eye-level with her."...if you decided to do something to him, he couldn't do anything to stop you.">Apple Brown Betty blinks once in confusion, and then her face turns bright red.>"N-no! I would never take advantage!">You quirk an eyebrow at her and try to make yourself sound a little bit disappointed."Never?">You slowly bring your hand over to play with her mane, but your antics have apparently given Apple Brown Betty some strength.>She manages to push herself upright and hobble away from you on shaky legs.>"H-Heck, Anon!" she exclaims, glaring at you, "Quit temptin' an honest, hard-workin' mare like that!">The glare lacks heat, though, to your relief.>The brown mare grumbles angrily and blushes harder, grumbling beneath her breath.>"I swear, Anon," she grumbles, "I'm gonna have a long talk with your mare whenever she finally decides to show up.">You push yourself to your feet and brush the dirt from your pants.>Apple Brown Betty DID pull your carriage for you... even though you didn't ask her to.>You guess you can cut her some slack.>After a short jog to catch up with the retreating mare, you get her attention and gesture at the land around you at large."So this is it, huh?">Apple Brown Betty takes a deep breath and puffs her chest out, glowing with pride and her exhaustion forgotten.>"You bet it is, mister Anon. From the eastern borders of Ponyville all the way up to the Everfree Forest.">She turns her head left and right, looking content as she takes in a sight she probably sees every single day.>"It's all ours, an' we use it to grow the finest apples fer everypony in town to enjoy."
>>29704257>That sounds so sweet and idyllic that you could just shit yourself.>Apple Brown Betty trots over to a tree just a few feet away from you (it's impossible to be very far away from an apple tree on this property) and gives it a light kick.>You can feel the impact through the ground almost as much as you hear in through the air.>The outermost branches shake, and one of them drops an apple, which you manage to catch.>It's shiny, red, and glossy.>You can smell the sweet, tart aroma from here, and you can't help but wish that the apples you bought from the supermarket back on Earth were anywhere near as good as these looked to me.>"Give it a try, mister," your friend says with confidence, "These here be the best apples in town.">>"They're the ONLY apples in town, Betty," drawls an approaching voice.>Do ALL Apples drawl? >You've yet to meet one that doesn't.>A young mare - too small to be an adult, but too large to be a filly - trots up to the two of you, looking curiously between you and Apple Brown Betty.>Apple Brown Betty nods sagely at the newcomer, ignoring her questioning gaze.>"And that makes them the best!">The new mare just laughs.>Her shiny coat is light gray, and her mane is an absolute mess of brown curls.>Her cutie mark is something brown, crumbly, and drizzled with syrup.>Apple Brown Betty marches up to the filly and pats her on her withers.>"This is my little sister, Apple Streusel.">Apple Brown Betty nudges her sister with her muzzle, trying to encourage her to move closer to you.>"Say hello, Streusel.">After sending her sister one more uncertain look, Apple Streusel slowly trots forward and hold out a hoof for you to shake.>Another Apple pony holding her hoof out for you to shake is too much of a temptation for you.>You never would have been this... familiar with a stranger back on Earth, but being a male in Equestria means that you get quite a bit more leeway in terms of your behaviour.
>>29704262>You're no longer the creepy weirdo; now you're "eccentric".>Before Apple Streusel can react, you smartly dodge your hand around her outstretched hoof and boop her right on her muzzle.>Apple Streusel's eyes cross as they follow your finger, and then slam shut.>The reaction is immediate.>The gray mare back away like a cat with something stuck on its nose, lowering her front end and raising her rump high in the air.>She blows a raspberry into the open air and scrunches her snootle up something fierce.>You give her a few minutes to recover, all while doing your best not to giggle like the socially-retarded turd you are.>You haven't booped mares like this since way back in Filly Delphia, and you'd forgotten how fun the reactions are.>When Streusel finally recovers, Apple Brown Betty pats her on the withers to get her attention.>You might be imagining things, but that wither-pat seemed especially sympathetic in nature.>"Think you can talk Ma into letting Anon stay the night? He don't have nowhere else to go.">Apple Streusel scrubs the tip of her muzzle with a hoof and looks between you and her sister.>>"Ah reckon I can try. Shouldn't be too hard; it wouldn't be the first time she done took pity on a colt with nowhere to stay.">Apple Streusel raises a hoof to cup her mouth conspiratorially and stage-whispers to you.>>"That's how she met Pa.">Apple Streusel giggles and walks off towards the house without another word while Apple Brown Betty watches on, smiling and shaking her head fondly.>"Always the romantic, that one," she says fondly, "They say that every colt dreams of meetin' his knight in shining armour, but sometimes I think that Streusel dreams of the same exact thing."
>>29704269>Ma looks down at Apple Streusel with stern, maternal disapproval.>"Apple Brown Betty," the older mare groans after a long-suffering sigh, "What am I going to do with you?">Judging by the sigh and the lack of yelling, you get the feeling that their mother has dealt with this "a colt followed me home, can we keep him?" business with her daughters for a long time now.>"I don't know, Betty. You can't just go inviting strangers to live on the farm, you know.">>"I know, Ma, but what else could I have done?">Apple Streusel walks over and pokes you in the thigh, which is about as high as she can reach.>>"Anon don't got a single friend in the world out here in the sticks to turn to.">The two parents exchange a look, but the older stallion doesn't look convinced.>Streusel apparently picks up on this, because she does an excited horse dance and turns around to address you with a big, excited smile on her face.>>"Oh! Anon, show Ma the thing you do with your hands! It's feels so weird!">Oh, god.>Apple Streusel, why would you SAY that?"Uh....">You look over to Ma and Pa and wince at their combined disapproving glare."Shhiiii-oooot.">This is starting to look like Filly Delphia all over again.Right, there we go.http://pastebin.com/PfvhAejwBam.If this thread is deleted again, I'll take full responsibility.
>>29704274>>>"Oh! Anon, show Ma the thing you do with your hands! It's feels so weird!"I enjoyed this green very much. thank you.
Do you think pegasi ever fly into Anon's windows like birds do?
>>29704287Thanks for saying that, Anon. Thanks for putting up with me posting my story twice.
>>29703949>>29703968>>29704040>>29704090>Anon has an all unicorn herd>Hornjob during every rut>Sucking at least 4 horns nightly>Swallows like a fucking champ>Magic builds up over time>Becomes a wizard>Gets robe and hat>Making spells left and right>Makes a spell that lets him hopefully impregnate his mares>Works, duh>Named his first daughter after the Equestrian sun, Celestia>His second after Earth's moon, Luna>His third after her grandmare, Crystal>And his only son after his best bro, Tirek>Gets lost in time experimenting with chronomancy>Each of his kids react badly>Celestia pours herself into her work to the point that she ignores her family to the point of abandonment>Luna allows grief and misery to consume her to the point that it was easy to be possessed >Crystal begins to steal the love of others to fill the hole her father's disappearance left>Tirek sucks magic with abandon in hopes that once he has enough he can find his papa, not realizing that using the shortcut of dark magic makes him forget his motivation and alters his appearance.>Anon shows up in current day Equestria>He has a lot of stern talking to's to hand out.>Right after tearful hugs>And mourned wives
>>29704338Yes, I want this badly.
>>29704338Wait, so is Crystal supposed to be Cadence's ancestor?
>>29704384That would mean Cadence and Chrysalis are actually distantly related in this story.>Chrysalis tried to steal her cousin's stallion Not cool.Although the idea of kindly great-grandpa Anon who is also willing to fuck shit up with magic if you cross him sounds fun.I can imagine him just suddenly showing up in the finale of Season 2 to stop his family from fighting each other.What happened to Crystal?
>>29704401who is crystal
>>29704440Bro.Fuckin' bro.He just posted about a pony name Crystal.
>>29704461No I,know that, he said he named his children after Celestia, Luna, and Crystal. Who the everloving fuck is Crystal?
>>29704401Dark magic doesn't always make you big and sexy like with Luna.Sometimes it gives you a goatface.Sometimes it gives you a carapace, and holes, and fangs, and an unquenchable appetite for affection, and the desire to make your great great great great great granddaughter starve to death in a cave.Dark magic fucks you depending on how fucked what you do with it is.I imagine sucking out the love of others as pretty fucking fucked.
>>29704317Luv u bb
>>29704491Well, genius, which character steals love from other people and has a name that sounds like "Crystals"?
>>29704401Makes the whole "Auntie Celestia" thing make a lot more sense.
>Anon and Twilight get frisky>He ends up trying to suck her horn>She's surprised, but she's absolutely loving it>Her horn has a wonderful, sweet flavor, so he's loving it too>After a while, the flavor fades, and he pulls off her>She's lost all of her color, and she can't do any magic>His stomach is glowing with a soft lavender light from swallowing like a gentlecolt>Twilight heads to her library to find out what's going on and figure out how to undo it>While he waits, Rarity stops by to see Twilight>Anon can't help himself>Soon, Rarity is panting in post-horngasmic bliss as her magic mixes with Twilight's in Anon's gut>Anon's addicted to the sweet, salty taste of magijaculate>A depowered Twilight and Rarity have to hunt Anon down before he drains all the unicorns in Ponyville>Like the thirsty little slut he is>Also, he'll probably explode or something, but whatever
>>29704672>>Like the thirsty little slut he is
>>29704274Hopefully the mods won't delete this one. I love stories where Anon wonders the world. Cute Apples.
>>29704749Someone post on /vip/ and make out thread gone.
>>29704813our* I was gonna say, someone make a thread and demand delete RGRE about anthro on /vip/ so other mod come here and AKULALA.Sorry, I was drunk.
>>29704093>Rarity want's Anon to dress up and get his makeup game on>Anon decides to go full Goth>Black lipstick, eyeliner, eye shadow, fingernail polish, whatever the fuck it is that makes you look even paler than usual, big fuckoff boots, top hat, fishnet sleeves, leather duster, black 3-piece suit, complete with umbrella to ward off the daystar.>Rarity starts worrying about whether Anon has suddenly decided to try to court Princess Luna
>>29704338So how does Discord fit into this? Because he obviously has to somehow.
>Anon is an engineer of some talent from earth>Makes a scant living creating bits and bobs that use electricity and other 'otherwordly' marvels for pones to enjoy>Anon frequently talks about feats of engineering from his world, but pones off the street are skeptical of his knowledge because they haven't seen it before and otherworldly and colts and 'muh sexism'>Innocently but ruefully lets slip one day about arguably humanity's most powerful feat of engineering known to his history, and its most terrible; bombs, devices that have the power to destroy countries and grant the wielders unreasonable amounts of power, especially should others not have the same power at their disposal>More importantly, he lets slip that science isn't nearly as picky about who has the power as magic is, and that anyone could create them as long as they knew how>And, when questioned, admits that even HE could do it, given some time and the proper supplies, even if he would never do so willingly>News travels fast, both to Celestia and less kind ears>Possible ponewiafus and Celestia are pulled into a subtle conflict in which they must protect 'The Pure Alien Pre-Husbando Who Knew Too Much' from the forces of darkness (and those who simply can't use magic) in their shadowy desire to forcibly change the balance of power in the world in their favor>They know that if Anon is successfully captured or isolated at any time then those responsible would no doubt be less than squeamish about forcing the information out of him >By any means necessary>But probably >rape >That's not even considering the heavy burden it would place on his kind and loving head should he be forced to become the alien progenitor of a super weapon that would threaten untold lives in the wrong hooves>Operation 'Protect his smile and in doing so also probably save the world' is a go>Romance!>RGRE!>Overly complicated plot!>Suspense!>Action!
>>29704852>Anon's friendship with a griffon diplomat turns out extremely short when her charred remains are found on a hill outside Canterlot>Same as Zecora>And every donkey in Ponyville
>>29703723tfw you did the last one a long time ago, but with BombshellBut I'll try not to forget the first two and do them too
>>29704897Jesus, 0 to 100 'charred corpses' edition in a single post
> Collect money for drinks served.> Check identification of customers in order to verify age requirements for purchase of alcohol.> Balance cash receipts.> Attempt to limit problems and liability related to customers' excessive drinking by taking steps such as persuading customers to stop drinking, or ordering transportation for intoxicated patrons.> Clean glasses, utensils, and bar equipment.> Take beverage orders from serving staff or directly from patrons.> Rape some ponys.
>>29704852I'd watch this summer blockbuster.
>>29704312>That thicc ass on Rainbow
>Anon and Twilight both grew up as nerds>Blahblah Anon ends up in RGRE>Anon and Twilight fall for each other>Get married>Fuck (a lot)>Have two kids>Now there's a split between them and their parenting style>Twilight accepts her past and tries to groom her children in her own image, having them stay inside and read books while being picky with their friends>Anon rejects his past and forces his kids outside in hopes of making his kids into Chad and Stacey>Twilight is understandably peeved>They argue>Fight (a lot)>Anon employs his new gender role powers by telling her she'll get the couch if she doesn't go his way>Tried as she might to be a strong parent, Twilight couldn't win against the cock>Nobody can beat the cock.>Not the cock.>Can't beat the cock, man.>Nope.
>>29705152>Twilight misinterprets this and proves him wrong by punching him in the dick
>>29705157i would cunt punt her
>>29705152Why not a healthy balance of both lifestyles?
>>29705206Then there would be no conflict and the story wouldn't be interesting at all.
>>29705208I'd be okay with a cute, happy slice of life story raising a new species of half-breed with your waifu that are completely strange and unpredictable.
>>29705208>TwilightIt's uninteresting already
>>29705208Well maybe not like levels of divorce difference, but maybe something like annoyed acceptance with both. Which results in the kids being abit weird compared to most other kids in their age and the conflict comes from that. Tell it from the kids view and all that jazz. >Anon has a colt and a filly.>He's awfully proud of them.>When son comes in with a black eye crying while his daughter comes in right after scuffed up looking.>Anon feels oddly mixed about it but he's more focused on making sure his kids are fine.>Next time it's his daughter coming in with tears in her eyes, but then not long after his son comes back with the other colts that had been picking fun on his sister's looks who apologize while shooting his son scared looks.>Anon can't be prouder, why because his kids are looking out for each other and he couldn't be prouder.>Now if his son winds up sucking dick instead of clit he might get peeved at Twilight.>Fucking reverse gender role bullshit...
>>29705238....Fuck that's really cute...Don't tempt me back to /Satyr/ Anon, I've quit it once already don't bring me back...
>>29705208Conflict is overrated.
>>29703406Why wouldn't you just turn him into your personal trap slut? Seems like less effort. It also seems like it should be in that general and not this one.
>>29704093I know exactly where you got that image, Anon. This is the wrong thread, even if it is my fetish to do that to someone else.
Anon & Lero & Max When?I will bet my money on it!
>>29705332>& MaxMax? As in, 'humans are animals in Equestria' Max?
>>29704338>>29704338>Anon learns about all the bullshit that happened recently.>After the talking to's and the punishments handed out. He decided to hold a grand family dinner.>Anon is happy to have a large family.>Celestia, Luna ,Chrysalis, Cadence, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Spike,Blueblood and Tirek in one table.>They immediately snipe at each other. Anon perseveres and tries to make it work.>It escalates into a shouting match and NMM is coaxed out because of the magical energy and the negative emotions.She joins the fray with her horn charged with magic.>Anon gets fed up, gets his slipper and slap NMM so hard she separates from Luna and forms a new body of her own.>"Y-YOU DAR-">"Sit down and eat or Im going to slap you so hard you'll turn in to the 7th element of harmony.">"Y-Yes Daddy.">"Well It seems I have a new darling daughter. We'll discuss how you'll fit in and your punishment for turning Luna against your big sister.">"I-I understand Daddy.">"Please pass the Salt. Hon">Something something RGRE.
>>29705353Yes. Listen to yourself, what are you gonna do when theres an opportunity to return on the air?
>>29705368What the fuck are you talking about?
>>29705379Remember when this motherfucker was without a doubt THE main antagonist of Discord?
>>29705388????The words you're using make sense individually, but fail spectacularly at being a coherent sentence.
>>29704843Tirek and Discord was a coinflip for son.Honestly at first I was going to have Anon be the base of the Starswirl legend. Something like he made a mobile out of the stars for the sisters or something big but unnecessary that eventually got attributed to a unicorn since everyone who knew about Anon was dead or not mentioning Anon.But I figured Anon being the father of all immortals while being the foundation upon which all modern magic is based went a bit too close to giving him anime bullshit powers on the meter of wish fulfillment.Fuck if this prompt gets anymore detailed I may end up writing the thing myself.
>>29705332Max? Yes please.
>>29705527Isn't Max a terrifying, scarred mess of a beast now?
>>29705530From what I can see, Max did kill human.
>>29705537Pretty sure he's either killed or fucked up more than a human or two.
>>29705541No big surprise about McDonald's employment.
>Anon has not found his groove in Equestria>months after winding up in a new world with no way home, his attempts to integrate and make his way keep running up against the horsey notions of what a stallion is and isn't capable of>with no applicable skill set to the level of technology they have, his immediate option would be manual labor, which most mares are reluctant to if not outright refuse to let him do>scraping by week to week, the ponies keep telling him he should try to get a job in a kitchen>one problem: his ability to cook begins and ends with a mighty struggle to not become bored when something is on the stove and forget it long enough that it burns>kicking his can down the road one afternoon, he watches some unicorns assembling a building with magic>and then the epiphany>magic is complete bullshit>therefore, bullshit must be magic>and he knows just how to apply it to the culinary trade>calling upon a childhood filled with Dahl, he musters the spirit of Willy Wonka and slaps together some nonsense in a crockpot that was three parts sugar, two parts random rubbish, and six parts puns that made only half-sense>lo and behold, he concocts the most insane but amazing candies seen in generations>Bon Bon has been in a rut, romance-wise>she's fairly picky, wanting to hold out for a stallion that has as much passion for the confectionary arts as she does>the pickings are pretty slim out in Ponyville though, with them either being married already like Mr. Cake or a bit light in the fetlocks like Caramel>soon word spreads of the wonderdiffilus candies being produced by the town's resident charity case>ever the critic of others in the craft, she tries a gummy everlasting ponut>itsfullofstars.apng>she was going to get that human to love her, oh yes she was.>meanwhile, a certain pink pony is going increasingly crazy, unable to determine the composition of these incredible human treats even with the the help of the Sense>*slugworth intensifies*
>>29705607Willy Wonkanon in RGRE when?
>>29705332>>29705353There are so many problems with Your Human and You it's not even funny
>>29705717Still a good read.
>>29705728Maybe someone like LAP can "fix" it like he did with Xenophilia
>>29705717Like the start where the main character's thought process was so damn retarded? "They're treating me like an animal, so I'll act like a fucking animal!"That immediately made me close out and wander off to find something better written to read.
>>29705739or the fact that the author had to take away his voice to make the premise even work. It felt so contrived. I was kinda hoping that Mrs. Cake was going to try holding him down and molest him but I guess that never came to pass
>>29705738THIS! Our LAP will bring harmony to 2 world.
>>29705739>character's thought process was so damn retardedI will say, creepy? murder? No ideas.
>>29705461>Tirek and Discord were both Anon's sons>They'd always gotten along>Discord could understand Celly and Lulu turning on him, he antagonized them, they antagonized back, and so it went>Brothers and sisters are just natural enemies like that>But Tirek?>His one and only Bro?>That was a betrayal that really stung.
>>29705607Wait, wasn't Slugworth actually an employee of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, and one of the tests he sets up to find his successor?
>>29705770Basically raised hell on Twilight, his "owner". Acting like a bad pet. Shitting on the rug, fucking shit up in her library, being a general shit, really.
>>29705820Yes, but most people are blindingly retarded. Half of the world has an IQ below ~95-100
>>29705770He thought "well golly gee, these ponies are treating me like an animal so I guess I'll just act like one" and took a shit on Twilight's carpet.
>>29705820That morality test guy was a fake and wasn't in the book in the first place. The real Slugworth is Wonka's chief rival in the industry, and had set up spies in prior years to get recipes.
>>29705839And it's such a shame because that rug really tied the room together.
>>29705438back to the paaaast...
>>29705997There was no opportunity, there hasn't been one in years.. I don't even think people miss me.
>>29705999There's no way home. There's nothing to fight for.
>>29706001Show yourself samurai, so you can die!
>>29706014You're wrong. I'll make it.
>>29706073>You're pony the weeeeb>Ask Anon-senpai want to chu-chu me>He say no>I kill myself
>>29704338that'll be awkward when Anon has to go to pony prison and face off with Cerberus to talk to his son
>>29705364>All of Anon's direct offspring and descendants fear the wrath of The Slipper>It is a weapon surpassing the Elements of Harmony in its power>Even those who have never been on The Slipper's business end instinctually fear it's sting>Chrysalis tries to conquer Equestria again?>Anon uses The Slipper, and she turns into pic related>Tirek tries to steal everyone's magic again?>Anon uses The Slipper, and Tirek gets the dark magic literally smacked out of him >Even people who aren't related to Anon get The Slipper>Starlight learns right away why messing with time is a bad idea>Because Anon will be there, and he will use The Slipper on the offender while giving them a lecture about not fucking with the timeline Anon is like the RGRE version of a stereotypical Mexican grandmother.
>>29706267>anon is a south east asian mom
>>29705109Rainbow is a rare hybrid of 3/4 pegasus and 1/4 earth pony. The extra muscles from her earth pony heritage give her more powerful wings and greater control... and also a plumper ass that you can just sink your hands into and SQUEEZE
>>29705152I understood that reference.
>>29706306>Anon constantly asks Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, and Twilight when they're finally going to settle down and start having foals of their own"You girls should be more like Cadence. She found a good stallion and Flurry is a beautiful foal. Although they should really work on giving her some siblings."
>>29705717I know right>our Human and YouWorst fic with worst Mary Sue human protagonist.>Twilight kills dozens of humans over and over in an experiment to try and see if they can become sapient100% in character 10/10>human becomes super genius who has magic and can float a bunch of objects around his head and calls Twilight "mother"It's such shit.
>>29705748Turns out that there are tons of ways to tell if something is sapient (or to at least show someone that a creature is more intelligent than an animal) and the amount of hamstringing you have to do to take those all away just fucking kills the story.
>>29706267>>Starlight learns right away why messing with time is a bad idea>>Because Anon will be there, and he will use The Slipper on the offender while giving them a lecture about not fucking with the timelineNo, multiple versions of Anon from different timelines get together and smack Starlight, each with their own slippers.
>>29706435Even better. Good thinking Anon.
>>29706435>>29706454I wonder if one of those alternate Anons came from a universe where he lost his children when they were all very young and he keeps looking longingly at Alpha-Anon's grownup children.
>>29706435>"Starlight don't do this!">"Why wouldn't I, Twilight? I will travel back in time and break your friendships apart before they begin!">"...If you do that, you'll create another timeline and destroy Equestria!""You figured that out yourself? You truly are Celestia's darling student.">"Starlight, if you make another timelines, you also cause another Slipper to come into existence.">"... I... ...maybe this can be resolved another way? Preferably without the existence of Probable Slippers?"*WE WUZ FRIENDS N' SHEIIT*
>29706485>Implying he didn't just rewrite historyAll realities where Anon is the progenitor are actually identical since this will result in the "ideal" universe.The one where Anon becomes the progenitor of equestrian reality
>>29706488Don't sleep deprivation and post kids.This is what happens.
>>29706267>>29706306>>29706353>The Crystal Empire and Equestria are going to have a final clash with Chrysalis' hordes.>Before the first lines crash into each other.>NMM's magic signiture could be seen and felt. A dark rift opens.>They expected NMM to come through and join the festivities, Seeking to feed from the dark emotions in the battleground.>Anon steps from the portal wearing his bathrobe with a very sleepy and grumpy look on his face.>"See Daddy, They're going to war. Oh no since the changelings are Crystal's children, that makes them your GRANDCHILDREN. Looks like you're going to need TWO slippers for this.">Each armies immediately sends envoys waving a white flag into the middle of the clearing.>"G-good Morning Grandfather Anonymous. Queen Chrysalis would like to declare the start of the peacetalks and signing of the treaty.">"Y-Yes the Changeling Envoy is right. Th-this is just a ceremonial showing of..uh. strength. I mean laying down of Arms. Like P-princess Celestia Instructed. >"Tell dear Chryssi and Celly this. You have until lunch to settle this. No Cakes for 2 weeks, No servants/drones to do chores for a month and they are to report to Princess Sparkle in Ponyville for friendship Lessons.">Anonymous shambles towards the dark rift while NMM flashes the armies with a massive finger in the sky.
>>29706565This is fucking amazing.
>>29705738LaP fixed Xenophilia?
>>29706653Yup. Started writing a story where Anon's Equestria finds Lero's Equestria and Anon spends most of his time petting ponies and getting spooped.http://pastebin.com/gXajdBnk
>>29706666THE DIGITS ARE REAL FUCKERS!
>>29705717Yeah and its another Fuck Humanity I got Pone Waifu. God damn that (Love) Scene was disgusting and ruined the entire foundation for the relationship.Also the author blatantly telling people that Max is going to be the only Earth Human left and there will be a SoL after the story ruins the whole point of there being a story.God damn, can we have one human protagonist who doesn't pound the stench crevice of a horse for once?!
>Slutty Anon lays it on thick>Like thicker than Twilight's flank thick>He flirts with any mare he sees and does everything he can to rile them up>When it comes down to it he wont sleep with them though>He teases them with the idea and then yanks it away>He doesn't do it because he is cruel>He does it because he is into that sweet sweet >rape
>>29706729You must fuck the horse pussy, Anon.
>>29706790No I do not, especially in a world where I will be treated like a pet and or second class citizen. Sex is great, but freedom is glorious.
>>29706821You're talking about Max-verse, right?
>Anon is a stuntman>He is fully prepared to be on fire walk, and fall, remain on fire for a few moments, and be put out. >Once lit, He barely sees anything due to a blinding light, but knows the path he has to go and follows it>Be celestia>Be the most tedious day of the year>Bucking grand galloping galla>You look to your left>You can see the cake right bucking there, and NO ONE is eating it>It could ALL be yours, but NO>Bucking meet and greets >to your right a blinding light>Seconds later, some ponies are rushing in screaming, >An orange glow>Something is on fire and walking in, leaving a trail of fiery hoof steps behind it. >Is it ok? >You panic a bit and magic up water just as it falls>You hope its ok>3>2>1>Ok now the fire crew should be rushing tward you to put you out>And on cue, you feel something hit you>Not on cue its heavy and you could swear its a massive amount of water>The fuck?>You look up and are able to see, no on fire>You stand up and check everywhere>Still no fire>Sigh of relief, you look around>Hundreds of mini and 2 normal horses are looking at you>all pastel>Be celeistia>Ok, now you get to do something and not sit here greeting ponies>"God dammit I fucking died didn't I">Well, 'do you speak equestrian' is off the list of questions, >Easily the best GGG in years. Can't think of more, just thought of a weird way anon could stumble into equestria
>>29706666Thanks for the info super satan
Haven't horsed around here in a little while and I found some old writefaggotry I never finished from years back that brought back some nostalgia for me. Thought I might as well dump what I have and either let someone make something out of it or finish it myself if I'm in the mood and if I remember where I was gonna take this in the first place. I might have posted it at one point but I have the tendency to start writing an idea and never posting the shit I write and it was so long ago that I don't even remember if I actually posted it in the first place.Now that I'm done blogging have some shit I made a long time ago after someone suggested mage/wizard Anon in RGRE.>You are Anon->"Are you listening Anon!?""Yeah yeah, Spergle I got the jist of it.">"Anyway shield spells are based around the hardening of your magical energies into a physical..." Starbutt drones on.>As you were saying you are Anon, aka Archmage Anonymous, lord of Tower Nymose, Immortal Master of Infinite Spells, founder and principal of the magical college of->"Anon!">Being interrupted.>Fucking horses.>Your titles didn't matter to them, your feats ignored, and yourself massively irritated.>"Anon!">You really didn't need this pitiful excuse of a tutor, nor did you need the guidance or charity of the local powers that be.>It was honestly more trouble than it was worth in your opinion.>Plus it opened plenty of opportunities to fuck with said horses>"Anon!">She is still fucking going isn't she.>You decide to finally grace her with your acknowledgement with a quick wave of your hand.>"...!" was the only muffled sound of your wanna be teacher could make.>She kept going on and on about shield spells, something about needed to protect yourself from mares or something, so you decided to show her your proficiency.>By casting a shield spell around her fat head to keep in the sound.1/2
>>29707080>Speaking of which she is still trying to communicate.>You are fairly sure she is aware of the spell by the color her face is turning.>A nice shade of uncontrollable rage induced red.>No wait her face is changing back to purple.>Maybe she calmed down enough to realize that you don't need to relearn any of this.>Or maybe she is losing oxygen if the blue face is any indication>You remembered to make the shield let air in and out right?>The book horse finally decides to lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen, going limp to the floor.>Whoops.>Removing the bubble shield from the air head you quickly check the damage.>From the your very basic knowledge of horse anatomy you assume she will be fine, maybe a few less brain cells will make her less obnoxious.>Now for your escape.>Grabbing your staff from the corner and wrapping your trusty cloak around your body you begin the trek to the exit.>That crazy bitch made you go all the way up to her god damned bedroom in the top fucking floor of the castle to "learn">Sure you could easily jump the distance but last time you used any spells to do that a swarm of pegasi guardsmares swarmed you to keep you from falling to your death.>It was honestly more trouble than it was worth to get your crotch copped by a group of mares.>As you roam the corridors you notice one of the only good side of the entire getting dropped into horse land situation.>The little dragon that looked up to you as a brother.
>>29707090>Shame he was such a little pussy at the start, but hey you’re working on it.>Speaking of the faggot he was wearing a pink frilly apron while dusting some random vase that was already sparkling clean.>Hey you were working on it."Hey brat, how’s it going?">Spike immediately jumps up dropping not only his duster but the vase.>Which shatters on the ground on contact.>"Uh he-hey Anon!">Awwww the rosy cheeked baby is trying to hold in his tears.>You’re not sure if it’s from the vase breaking or the embarrassment but it’s still adorable."You wanna go out and start some shit?">He flinches a bit at your profanity, but shakes his head.>"Nn-nah, I i got work I uh need to do here, cleaning stuff...">The hallway, besides the shards of pottery, is spotless.>You could not only eat off it, you could probably host an entire party of nobles to eat off the floor like the dirty pigs they are.>Did you mention how much you hate those nobles?>Fuck them."Need any help?">He tries not to look at the shattered vase which honestly was probably worth more than him, and baby dragons are expensive.>You know from experience.>"Nope! I'm good!">You really need to play some poker with the kid, work on his bluff."Whatever you say kiddo.">Feeling particularly nice you wave your staff and almost immediatly the vase reforms and fuses back together."Smell ya later!">"Y-you too!" he calls as you leave to find something to amuse yourself>You need to age that kid into a fucking giant again.>That shit was hilarious the first 5 times.>It will be even more so the 6th.
>>29707093kek, I wouldn't mind more.
>>29707070Just doing my job, citizen. Grats on the interesting digits.
>>29707262No idea if I can or not, I haven't been here in 2-3 years, a bit behind on the memes. If anyone else wants to continue off it feel free.
>>29707294Eh. It's nice writing, but "IRL shitposter" Anon has been played to death everywhere else.
>>29707306I can write other anons, but I just always enjoyed writing that kind of anon. Always let me get into stupid situations that were fun for me to write.
>>29707327Fair enough, shitposter-Anon was fun while he lasted.
How about a comfy story about Anon's marefriend working up the nerve to propose to him
>>29707436yes yes yes
>>29706835>anon appearing on fire>Celestia summons Anon as a diplomat for his world.>Millions of possibilities rush through her head, will he be nice? Rude? Good? Evil? Happy? Sad?>Spell finishes, Anon is about to appear.>She doesn't expect him to arive on fire.>He probably didn't expect it either, based on his agonized screaming.
>>29707514There is a special place in my sides for entrances that are the worst way to enter, time to enter, or scenario to enter ever. My personal favorite right now is anon is bugged and stabbed many times, gets shit out into equestria 3 feet above celestia when she is sleeping.
>>29707522Oh god that sounds hilarious, got a link?
>>29707436>You are Rainbow Dash, and you are browsing a big dumb fancy Canterlot jewelry store.>You and your coltfriend, Anon, have gotten pretty serious.>You've found yourself working hard so that you can get home to him as fast as possible.>You actually enjoy waking up before noon on your days off since it leads to an hour or two of lazing around in bed, cuddling with Anon.>You've even caught yourself watching Mrs. and Mr. Cake playing with their foals one day and were surprised at that pang of longing you felt in your chest.>He just makes you so happy.>You think it's time to pop the question to Anon.>You wish that you had thought to ask Twilight what she had found out about human courting rituals, because you have no idea what kind of expensive piece of crap to give to Anon.>You've looked at pendants; necklaces; horn-rings; bracelets...>Dammit, and you'd learned to take a deep breath and think things through, too!>You'd gotten into a big fight with Anon because of some stupid thing you did, all because you made a split-second decision and bucked up in a way that could have been avoided if you had just sat down and thought about it.>"Miss?">A nice salescolt waves you over.>"Maybe I can be of assistance. Is your mate an earth pony, a pegasus, or a unicorn?">UHHHH>.....maybe you can just present Anon with a primary feather.>Bastards love primary feathers.
>>29706653>fixedWait, LaP wrote that? Or did he fix someone else's work?
>>29707534Its not in a story unless I wrote it right now... well never posted it as it went back burner a while ago., I just like trying to make anons entrance the worst entrance ever, and always find it amusing when someone does. A few entrances I thought of where just 'when is the last time you want someone to see you' other ones I have thought of were anon jerking it in vr on a laptop, none the wiser that he has teleported on top of a round table with various rulers as he cant see or hear anything.To another personal favorite where anon gets soap in his eyes, closes them and tries to get it out, opens them, and a pony is now standing less than 3 inches from his junk, with wide eyes and a thoughts of 'dear penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me"only Issue I have is I cant string thoughts into full stories, every now and then I get enough thoughts for a one shot but that's it.
>>29707569"Anon!">You hop in through Anon's open bedroom window with a blue primary feather in your hooves."I got you blue!">"D-Dash?""Wanna smash?">Anon doesn't say anything."Please?"
>>29707580No, he just grabbed the characters and used his own in the story, not only is it more legible, but it actually points out the shit characters in it.>>29707589Well, damn. It would be fun to.
>Pony mating rituals that go over Anon's head
>>29707559>>29707436Let's make it even comfierAnon proposes at the same time his marefriend proposes to him
>>29707629They briefly argue about who gets to present the ring, then decide to just exchange rings instead
Any sis got a promt for a shot story?
>Before coming to equestria Anon had been seeing vocal coach for most of his young life>Before he could start putting his talents to work he was popped into equestria, stopping any career in music he might have had short>A few years pass, he makes friends, gets a simple job>Bit of recluse on account of how different he is culturally and physically from literally any neighbor he could have on the planet>Friends understand but still worry>The gentle and caring husbando thing is really popular, but he's never going to get a wife if he doesn't apply himself >The topic of cutie marks and special talents comes up among his friends>They ask him if he ever felt like a pony does about a singular passion in their life, if he ever felt like he had a special talent>Anon mentions his budding singing career way back when>Friends encourage him>Anon declines out of worry, both from how he might be judged in the limelight and how long it's been since he last seriously sang>They push a little more>He admits that he still practices a little in his spare time when he's all alone>Friendpones are all set, but Anon still isn't very sure>Big party coming up, friends encourage Anon to perform>He's not sure, but they're VERY sure>He decides to do it, if only to acknowledge their trust in him>Big day comes>Friendpones set the stage for Anon, impressing upon the fact that this was his first real performance >Anon comes out on stage, stiff as a board, does little more than name the song before the music starts through the speakers>Audience finds his vulnerability cute and endearing, they drop their guard and ready themselves to offer 'you tried' kudos at the very least>Big mistake>Music is soulful with just a bit of energy>Anxious wallflower sings a saucy-smooth romance song in perfect tune to the music, the themes of loyalty, love, and vague allusions to sex common to the genre cropping up frequently
>>29707671>Audience is stunned, and Anon starts to get into things a little more>Dat chocolate voice>Dat shoulder jive>Dat hip rock>Dat shoulder jive>Anon has drawn the entirety of party to his location>Mares take the risk of their foals asking dangerous questions later on about certain cryptic lyrics in an effort to stay and listen>The song ends, Anon loses his nerve from the silence>Thanks them for listening in his usual reserved, quiet voice>As the human is swarmed with instant fans and would-be talent scouts, mostly mares friendpones are now consumed with worry over what they've just unleashed on their quiet male friend>Music scene is already imploding with the entrance of a massive talent and what is essentially a new genre of music to equestria>Colts and teen stallions everywhere listen to the song(s) on repeat >Most fillies do too, but they aren't as publicly enthusiastic about it>Older Stallions worried over the messages the song conveys, 'think of the children' and etc>Full grown mares with jobs and firm community reputations all over the continent have that 'special' record that they keep away from the mister and the kids and play when they aren't around>Sometimes they work up the courage to play it for their significant others>But only when the kids are out>It's common to hear Anon's music muffled behind closed doors and drawn curtains>In such occasions the owners never respond to knocking
>>29707666Satan wants a prompt.>Language barrier Anon>Ponies see clothes as super lewd and try to get Anon to stop wearing them>Anon is just baffled and wonders why a bunch of tiny horses are trying to steal his clothesI tried.
>>29707681>>29707671I don't know why, but I picture the song Anon sings as a RGR version of this:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v_y2TCk6IxA
>>29707666Anon is invited to a conference of races, as ambassador of humankind.Every race has their reasons for trying to get on his good side.And that my children is how I met the herd
>>29707755Kek. I was imagining more old-school RNB, but this works tooAlso, checked
>>29707681I LIKE IT
>>29707681>Anon is the equestrian Elvis
>>29707598No Ronald, your tail is small.
>>29706565I need it holy shit
>>29707093Hey if you wanna do more Gandalfanon I sure as shit won't stop you
>>29707436>"Wait you were serious?">tearsshit that hit me hard with the feels like a sack of bricks
>>29708965>"Thunderlane thought my tail was big.">"Thunderlane used to lemme smash.">"Now Thunderlane is smashin' Cloudchaser.">"Cloudchaser is a hoe.">"Heck."
>>29709014Maybe she has self-esteem issues and didn't dare to let herself believe.
>>29707090>Twilight finds you later>"C-can you maybe, um, cast that spell when we rut?" She asks, keeping her eyes on the ground and moving one of her front hooves in a circle on the floor.
>>29707755You have shit taste.
>>29709092Well fuck after all that you HAVE to marry her and give her a huge family
Not done, but I gotta share anyways because kek.Я тyт, пaнимaишь, кaлымлю кaк ****A Дымoк-тo мoй, вcё ****** пoдчиcтyю!
>>29709591She's a big pone
>>29709083It's like walking, but up....Nice guys finish last. Go get her, Ronald.
>>29709266at LEAST 8 children
>>29709991Yes, at least. A number everyone should strive for with their waifu.
>>29710107Would you make love to your wife in the missionary position for the purpose of creating children?
>>29710158>>29710167While holding her hooves
>>29708902>Years later. >Be Bombshell. >You're riding with your sis Flurry.>It's quite and a bit awkward ridding in her carriage. >You decided to turn on her record player. >Anon starts playing. >You give her a deadpan look. "You DO know Anonymous is dead right?">"No Anonymous is not dead, he just went home.">Then you both go blow up a roach.>Also known as Nyx.
>>29710142Yeah for the first foal.Each foal will be conceived in a different way.
>>29710209Ooooo, that's creative.
>>29710158>>29710167>>29710193Looking her in the eyes
>>29710237telling her you love her
>>29710209>>29710237>>29710290>>29710193>>29710142This is a safe for work board you degenerates!
>>29710305Maybe even cuddling afterward
>>29710305Cuddling to sleep in the afterglow.
If ghouls doesn't update soon I'm gonna have withdrawals
>>29710572Ghouls takes a long time to update, Anon. Especially when his updates take up a quarter of the thread.
>>29710305>>29710332>>29710454Stop, you guys. I'm sitting alone in my house right now and I don't need these feels. W-Would you whisper sweet nothings in her ear, making promises and assuring each other of the love between you?
>>29710204>"No Anonymous is not dead, he just went home.">Actually went home, to Crstal Palace where he lives immortally with Twilight in a private seluded wing..
>>29710911I would nibble at her ear and rub her belly
>>29710911>>29710995While softly telling her how beautiful our foals will be
>>29710911>>29710995>>29711236This thread is supposed to be about wacky sexist mare shenanigans. I didn't ask for these feels
>>29711290>come in for fun>instead get pain
>>29711236Then kiss her goodnight and drift off to sleep
>>29710995>>29711236>>29711645You're killing me, man. I can't do this.
>>29707681I LOVE IT!
>>29707671>>29707681https://youtu.be/a_XgQhMPeEQThis feels appropriate.
bedtime bump luv u 5eva rgre bc 4eva 2 short
Why aren't you sleeping with your waifu? Don't let her sleep alone in a cold bed, warm her up.
(I've seen this before but I like the idea of it and want a writefag on it)>Mares like stallions with a little extra padding on them. More mass to pad the ass, etc.>Anon tries to lose weight, but is thwarted at every turn by mares wanting him to stay thicc.>Namely, sneaking him pastries when he's trying to stay vigilant against carbs, giving him bad weight loss tips, etc.>/fit/ mares try to make him a trophy horsebando.
>>29712787I would Anon but we live in different worlds
>>29712787>lie awake in bed>stare up at the ceiling fan in the darkness>reach out to my side and feel only empty bedI wish ill upon you, some real bad fuckin ill.
>>29712886I'm so apathetic nowadays I can't even remember what being sad feels like.
>>29706332>Rainbow with BREEDING HIPSUNF
Have a cute little Seashell. :3
>>29706565This was surprisingly kek worthy.
>>29713052Why is one leg longer by like 1/3?
>>29713103Because artists don't double check anatomy anymore since artistic standards have been made optional to be an artist.
Does Anon develop stockholm syndrome?
>>29713181Good lord, I hope not. I'm sick of the trend of Anon being constantly a doormat and/or screwed over repeatedly. I come here for decently written flagrant escapism, not to be reminded that the world is a cruel place.
>>29712787a pox upon your house for giving me these feels
>>29713181>>29713209>Anon has spent far too long in RGRE poneland.>He now accepts that he is no longer the macho man he used to be, but the cute exotic husbando who isn't noticed by [Insert Pone], leaving him heartbroken.>Drawing from half forgotten memories, he starts to act like a specific character archetype from his Korean cartoons.>A shiny knife is all Anon needs.> [Insert Pone] Never saw it coming.
>>29713339>needless edge in marshmallow land
>>29713350Wouldnt the edge be in that unfortunate pone?
It's funny, kaikoinu doesn't draw anthro, just humans and perhaps overly detailed ponies. He pays such attention to the anatomy that they come off as not cartoon horses.If only Limestone's forehooves had been visible.>>29693824Forget FI Ghouls. More SPAGOOT FILLIESMy heart needs itI also really liked the idea that Moondancer is too skinny to be attractive because advanced magic is high calorie (Twilight: chubby because of the insane efficiency with which she casts magic, also because of her big appetite). She wears her sweater because she's cold and wants to look fluffier.>>29695181I'm always happy to see people spreading this information.But it's also important to remember that even when WE know something, that doesn't mean the characters do. Real world people use "sentient" in the sense of, well, 'sapient', all the time. The only major pony I can think of who'd care much would be Twilight, maybe Starlight. A few others depending on what counts as major.Of course, this is an especially difficult line to consider because in Equestria, most animals are sapient anyways.There was an entire RGRE story that started with language barriers. And super lewd horses. Ah-hah! Uh-Hmmm. I should've guessed:http://pastebin.com/EyzVnEUX
>>29713537>Not talking about Prey/Anonymous
>>29704093It would be a traumatic experience for all.(I'd look like Gary Busey in drag...)
>>29713799These things are fucking gold.
>Aaah, the beach>The sun, the surf, the warm sand>It's a 'saddle-less' beach, so... maybe you'll even go buckwild and remove your shirt so you can finally get a tan and stop blinding pones with your pastiness>And, even though your friends wanted to setup camp with you and hang out and rub some cream on your back>The threat of wandering hooves and innuendo is too much>especially when you get enough of that at home>So, you bid them aeiou and moonwalked to a nice, cozy, empty spot>Or. It was.>>29713052>"Ooooh! Oh! H-hi!">Sighing softly you sit up from your towel, your sunglasses falling slightly down the bridge of your nose"...yes?">"U-um. A-are you... uh-">You wait, a neutral expression on your face>This is the first time you've seen a native seapony, afterall, so...who knows what she'll sa->"A-are you th-thrasing around in panic? C-cause I wanna eat you. WAIT-">The seapony stamps her hooves in the sand>You raise your eyebrow>"I mean, you look deliciou-Nnn~" She looks up at you, scrunching furiously>Neutral expression, Anon>"I. Swim. Saw you on beach.">Oh we've gone full caveman here>"I like you. Do you wanna swim together? I promise I won't drag you under - I haven't done that to anypony in days!">She looks at you with super hopeful and super earnest eyes>Yeah... that's the look of a pony who is totally serious about that achievement>You purse your lips>"...I know where some pretty conch shells are!">Damn these cute horses>You pat the sand next to you, and she tilts her head"I'm resting right now, but... you're welcome to join me.">Doing a tiny happy dance she trots over to you, circling the spot you indicated and sitting down with a heavy *thwump*>Her solid-muscle tail slamming into your hips>You wheeze softly and she smiles>But... you can tell an accident when you see one>So, smiling in return, you lay back down and close your eyes>The sound of the surf fills your mind>. . .>"So whatcha thinkin' bout?">Damnit
>>29713852Ohhhh oooo OOOOOOOooo
>>29713852I'm thinking about dicks. Dicks the size of skyscrapers.
>Yeees, humans – that’s her fetish
>>29713904>"Huh.">Sharkpone rolls onto her back and tucks her forelegs behind her head.>"Me too.">The two of you lay there in silence for a few long seconds, watching the clouds go by.>The moment is ruined when Sharkpone points to a tubular cloud and remarks that it looks like a penis
>>29713799Holy shit.What am I looking at right now? Is that... is that some carefully recreated Chick tract parody in MLP RGRE flavor?
>>29714106>"I'm not just a sex object!"What else are stallions good for, really? Everything else they can do, can be done better by a mare.
>>29714106The only dumb one I can think of is the middle bit.
>>29714286We do need some dudeicorns though.Like a Prince Celestia or something.>>29714029Skydongs>>29713852Aquatic bombshell a cute too.>>29713339Yandere-non at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns trying to win his sempai when?>>29713052Very nice.She has crotch-grabbers.>>29709659>>29709591>>29702783>>29702755We missed you, it's good to have you back.>>29707681Make this longer.>>29707559Fucking jewelry stores.>>29707514>>29706835Fire is always a good idea.>>29707093Keep going.>>29706565>>29706479>>29706435>>29706267>>29705364>>29705242>>29705157>>29705152>>29704338Violence solves all problems.>>29705607Don't just stop there.>>29704852Ponies need to be shown Oppenheimer's glorious light.>>29704672Slutwizards seem like a fun character build.>>29704274The OC poners are just fine, Pluggo. You did a good job writing them.I look forward to the next chapter.>>29704093Sure, why not.>>29704040What about stallionjaculate as well?They also have horns with magic in them.Gotta cast ALL the spells.>>29703406I'd read more of this, it looks interesting.>>29702843Write more things.>>29702391>>29702353Bring back the ring.>>29714271Mares are also just sex objects.Everything is an object.>Only virgins and princesses can see humans>Princesses are virgins by default>No matter how much sex they have they are still virgins>Because magic>It's probably because virginiation can't figure out how to work with a race that is like three or more other ones at once>This means discord is also a virgin by default too>The purest incarnation of stallionly whimsy.>Of course he's a pure as snow virgin.>Even if he gets fussy if you say that.
>you are Anonymous Maximus>Your leader Ceaser had taken 6 legions including your own on an expedition to Brittania>this was your second time going to the gods forsaken island >you were talking to your contibernium as you were all loaded upon the ships"I dont get it, there were no vast riches like the rumours had said, why are we going back there?">"For glory ya halfwit">said Symmachus>"We will be known as the Army that conquered Brittania, i say why NOT go?">"It seems you value life a bit too much Anonymous!">the men laughed"And maybe thats what will keep me alive on this campaign milk drinker!>Your Centurion shouted at you and told your friends to quite themselves while the rest of the men are boarding>it was supposed to be a simple campaign>nothing to difficult as it will like squashing the tribes of gaul not but a few years prior1/?Please rate my story concept and my writing, im doing this on my phone until i get home.I thought id actually write something since green has become pretty scarce in these threads.
>>297145220/10, absolutely irrelevant to this thread, it might work in the royal guardmare thread though.
>>29714551I had already been thinking of a plot and a way to bring him into RGRE.No one can rush a whole story in one post.Ill take that advice with a grain of salt though.
>>29714093yup. theres tons of these memes now. heres the template
>>29714403>Literally YouTube-tier commentsYour """""prompt""""" isn't even /rgre/
>>29714689>paragon of stallionish whimsy>not RGRE
>>29713852>The sound of the surf fills your mind>. . .>"So whatcha thinkin' bout?"water apparently
>>29714106>I'm not a sex object>Not wanting to be in a threeway relationship with top qt 3.14 twinsHonestly I feel worse for the mares than I do for the stallions
>>29715014Why, because there's not enough stallions to go around and they're all so thirsty?
>>29715014>Anon feels nothing but disdain for Equestria's stallions
>>29714522You've given us next to nothing.The hell do you want us to give a rating to?
Anon and Harshwhinny work in the same office.Harshwhinny acts like a bitch when around Anon.One day, Anon overhears a conversation.>"The office is a mare's place, Neat File. Stallions won't be able to take the stress.""Oh she wants to play? Two can play this game.Start one upping each other.Competition for company projects become vicious.He works to the bone to prove himself.It's been two years now.He's a valued head of department, just like Harshwhinny.That does nothing for him.He works to see the look on her face when she loses to him.Every contract given to him is another victory.Every contract lost to her only spurs him to work harder.Lost a contract to her today.It's 9 alreadyPreparing to go back.Harshwhinny is still there.Looks like she's working over that contract.She has serious bags under her eyes.When was the last time she actually had a decent night of sleep?Has she been eating well?Has she been eating anything at all?You yawn.None of your business anywayAt least you can go to bed earlier, so suck on that harshbutt.Walk down the street, preparing to hail a cab.See the café down the street.It must be hard working this late.Some coffee really helps with the sleepiness.Plus their bagels are really good too.And being tired and hungry really fucks with your cognitive processes.If Harshwhinny fucks up, the project fails.If the project fails, the company loses trust.If the company loses trust, they loses contracts.Losing contracts means the company will go bankrupt.That's why he's bringing this bag if coffee and bagels up.Because he needs this job.He's doing this to keep his jobWalks over to Harshwhinny's desk, it's empty.Must be using the toilet or something.Leave the bag behind.A few days later,Working on the sports event contract.>"Add ramps bro">"Brofist!!">"Nohomo, bro"Fucking jocks.Leaves to get a glass of water, cool off while he's at it.Comes back, sees a cup of coffee left on the table.Who could it be?
>>29714522So far, all you have is a character named Anon.Come back with 500 words, then we can talk.
>>29715144Yes, I like this idea very much.
>>29714403>We missed you, it's good to have you back.It's been too long, I'm glad to be back, friendo
>>29715144Can love bloom on the battlefield?
>>29715203No, but hatesex can.
>>29715201Ayyy HKS. Good to see you back!I wanna keep in touch with you - do you mind sending me an email? firstname.lastname@example.org is where you can reach me
>>29715298Your not inaccurate.
>>29715322>sending me an email>discordNot again.
>>29715322God damnit, we just got him back, now you want to send him to purgatory under different management again? The fuck is wrong with you, you god damn bastard.
>>29715391>And then the town starved out of some retards spite, for no reason other then it seemed okay to do at the timeYeah, keep saying its okay. Fucking cancer.
>>29715391>Fluttershy doesn't lack confidence, she's just really immature and immediately does the opposite of what someone tells her to do>"Stare down a dragon? You're not my DAD, Twilight! OOPS I GUESS I'M TOO SCARED TO USE THE STARE"
>>29713364Its leg is short 2.
Need more tech existing in RGRE so that Anon can get accused of using a voice modulator to make everyone think he's a colt when he uses his mic playing Call of Pony
>>29715339 >>29715474Do you actually care if I live or die, or are you angry in general? I need to know if I should blush and whisper "oh you~">>29715689>no tech>no scrote-streamers
>>29715667> TechYou could, but just as easily, > "She's not even trying to hide that she's a mare. Her player character is female, she just uses a voice shifter spell. If you can't see that, I'll just leave you all to your inevitable dykehood."
>>29715749I meant tech as in a medium exists on which ponies can play their games/communicate/interact.
>>29715764Also ponies developing a standard keyboard and mouse that is fit for a human (despite them being ponies) is an idea that makes me giggle.
>>29715747We are happy your back! Just don't fall into that hellish tarpit of mediocrity and uselessness that is the FUCKING DISCORD CHAT! Also, more story when?
>>29715802>Insults fellow writefags>Asks for more free stuff
>>29715815I insulted the ones that ditched the thread and have no value whatsoever, its not like they are around doing anything anyways. I also didn't say anything of the like to HKS, so take your bullshit implying elsewhere.
>>29715828Don't be so salt anon. That's not how you make friends
Could the last two or three stragglers still taking the Discord bait, you know, stop shining a spotlight on the autists? They're only here because the other generals move at the speed of indifference and RGRE is instant gratification.
Pinkie doesn't get enough love. She probably has really nice teats that Anon can motorboat.
>>29715916She doesn't get my love cause she's not a /bug/
>>29715916Pinkie really likes milkers huh?
>>29715945She likes'em so much she grew a big pair. Stallions think they're ugly, but Anon thinks they're the most beautiful things he's ever seen. Other mares be mad jelly of all the time and attention Anon gives her teats
>>29715802I think I'll try to milk out my visual muse first. Writing is too similar to my day job, and graphics are relaxing.
>it gave me goosebumps will never continue >gripes of wrath will never continue Life is suffering
>Anon winds up in a different spot in each of the alternate timelines>Crystal War: he ends up a pin-up model because nopony will let him fight on the front lines>Gets put on trading cards included in MREs, along with a bunch of other stallions>Nightmare Moon's Victory: Nightmare Moon makes him learn to love her>Twilight nearly goes nuclear when he sees him laying on her throne like a babe in Conan>Changeling Victory: Teaches the ponies to go Far Cry on Chrysalis' ass>only has loincloth for clothes>Tribe shares him between themselves>Twilight stays a little too long when they invite her to spend some time with him
>>29715961How big would her teats be if she went through the portal and humified?>>29715973Fair enough then, draw some stuff m8.
Anon goes to the band practice room to play his guitar for free time. The main 6/7 arrive a few minutes after and start watching him. They criticize him thinking men can't play anything but lovey acoustic songs. Then they hear him playing power chords. >Writefags take it from here, I'm too illiterate to do this.
An RGRE story, but there's no Anon at all
>>29716138Would be shit.
>>29716138Or a RGRE story where anon is not the direct focus.
>>29716228What's the point of having him in the story in the first place, then?
>>29716238I can perfectly enjoy a story from the mares perspective when having to deal with Anon.
>>29716238INB4 cuckold, but how about a story about Anon acting as a wingman to help another mare get laid.Anon the love doctor
>>29716275>And citing the 2 writefags that left the Discord means its okaySo, did you get a concussion before posting today, or what?
>>29716295Nevermind that post. Not feeding you anymore.
>>29716295Posting in the thread, no one else that went there came back.>>29716301Fair enough retard, keep apologizing for cancer.
>>29716301Just ignore him when he posts.
>>29716336I am, I apologize for even encouraging his autism.
>>29716109This has been posted repeatedly, nobody likes them. Stop.
>>29714522>>you are Anonymous Maximus>Not Anonymovs Maximvspleb
>>29716228>>29716238>>29716279Shameless Plug here: http://pastebin.com/NeEq9VCTAnon is a government worker, and is not the main character.
>>29716681Oh yeah the Octavia one. I remember that. I think Time Turner accidentally came off as unsympathetic
>>29716138We can both hear the tard screeching sure, but not everyone here is so pathetic.This isn't AiRGRE. If you have an RGR thing that doesn't have the HMD in it then this is still definitely where it belongs.
>>29716783Like Ghouls' story. I'm really liking Ghouls' story.
>>29716793Dunno if I'd bring that one up as a good example on account of there still being humans, but sure I guess. 'Doesn't have Anon in it' can mean a lot of different things.
>>29716783>This isn't AiRGRE
"Hmm... Interesting...">Prince Anonymous's x-ray photos sat next to Lero's>Even though you already had your husband's x-rays, from when he first found himself here to the last one taken at his physical, you had decided to take some new pictures>Though you didn't expect there to be any change in his anatomy, it didn't hurt to have fresh data>Like you thought, Lero hadn't changed a bit>There was no abnormal growth, nothing seemed out of place; everything seemed healthy and whole>Princess Anonymous on the other hand...>Your eyes narrowed as you leaned forward to stare at the prince's picture a little more closely>Overall, he wasn't any different than your husband>One heart, two lungs, big and small intestines, kidneys, liver, spleen>It was, as Lero had told you, basic human anatomy>...Except for one small thing"There they are," you murmured. "Two healthy, normally-sized Magicae Equum Organo... Right underneath your spleen...">You scratched your chin while Anon leaned forward>"Oh, you mean the horgans?" he said>You twitched, looking over your shoulder at him"They're not HORGANS," you said, trying your best to keep calm. "Magicae Eqqum Organo is an organ that most creatures on Equus have.">Turning around, you walked over to the prince and placed a hoof on his belly>It all made sense...>No wonder he could take Honeydew's kick and be perfectly fine..."It helps us take the magic from the air so that it can be used in different ways. With minotaurs it helps them get so big, with earth ponies it helps them channel the magic in the earth, with pegasi it helps keep them in the air.">Your horn sparked to life"With unicorns it works in conjunction with our Magicae Rigida Fecit to help us cast spells."
>>29716953>You slide your hoof to Anonymous's side, where the organs would be"And not only does it supplement our abilities, it also converts the magic into a form of insulation.">Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Lero staring at the x-rays>"That's why you were able to take that kick, Anon," he said>You nodded"Yes, even though it doesn't seem to have changed him in any way, according to the size of his glans he should be as durable as a pony.">Which meant that he could take lightning bolts, falling pianos, anything that Equestria threw his way...>Your nose scrunched up"Are you sure you haven't noticed anything unusual, Anon?">Anon shook his head>"Nope.""No things moving around your room randomly? Maybe you could jump a little higher than before. It could have been as simple as grass being a little longer if you stood on it too long.">Yet again Anon shook his head>"Nope. Nothing like that," he said as you gave his side another poke. "I feel the exact same as I've always felt.">Nodding, you stepped away from the prince and turned around>Eyeing the x-rays, you slowly made your way toward them>He'd never be as strong as an earth pony, or a minotaur...>But even still, he had the organs...>A creature not native to Equus had grown these organs>Not for no reason>You knew there was a reason>There was always a reason for something like this happening>Maybe Equus's magic helped his body form them>Maybe it was just his body's reaction when faced with a totally new environment>Your wings twitched in excitement
>>29716959>There were so many possibilities as to why this happened, and the nerd in you wanted to leave no stone unturned>More bloodwork, tissue samples, magical readings>Were the organs fully functional?>Did they get in the way of the body's other systems?>How many calories did they burn?>Now that you thought about it, Anon's blood seemed just a little too red>And wasn’t his temperature a little lower than Lero's usually was?>Did that have anything to do with anything?>You have a feeling that you could have spent WEEKS studying Anon, maybe even MONTHS!>And it would be glorious>It might change the way that the world looked at magic!>You might even get an article written about you in N.E.R.D.S Monthly!>...>But you couldn't...>Unfortunately...>Prince Anon had a life on the other side of the portal, and even if he didn't you couldn't keep a thinking, feeling person holed up in your basement...>And Rainbow and Lero would yell at you if they saw you throwing yourself into your research like you wanted to...>Apple sauce...>A sigh escaped you>A sad one>But still, you did your best to reign in the sadness>You might not be able to study Anonymous like you wanted to, but you could ask a very important question"Prince Anonymous?">The prince, who was staring down at you, raised an eyebrow>"Yes Twilight?""I'm assuming that my other self either gave or was in the same room as you when you received your first physical?"
>>29716968>"She was there for my first and every one after," Anon replied, a small smile coming to his face. "Even when I don't want her in there. I swear I've caught that girl hanging out of a window more than once.">Lyra snorted, looking at you meaningfully>...>Alright...>You MIGHT do something like that...>But you'd feel REALLY bad about it afterward!>Still, if his Twilight was anything like you she had already examined Anonymous here>If you asked you could probably bum some of her notes>Maybe the two of you could even put your heads together and figure out why Anon had the organs and Lero didn't>Because if Anon had them, Lero should have>Well... not SHOULD...>Lero having them should be a very high probability>Him and Anon were very similar biology-wise, and from what you could gather Anon's Equestria wasn't that much different than yours>Oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide levels were almost the same in the air>The magical composition in the ground was only off by point zero-zero-zero-zero-six-three-one percent>...>Hmmm...>This called for more research...>A LOT more research>"Twilight...">Flinching, your gaze snapped over to see your husband looking over at you with his arms crossed>Oh horse apples...>You must have had your "science mode" face on..."I was, um, just...">Come on Twilight...
>>29716953>LAPSOUND THE ALARM
>>29716974>Pull something out of your flank..."Thinking about where to take you later...?">"Bull," both Anon and Lero said, one smiling and one frowning>Again, Lyra snorted, smirking at your misfortune>"I know that look, hon," your husband said, getting up and making his way over to you. "Last time I saw it the girls and I didn't see you for three days.">You grimaced as he placed a hand on your back"...Yeah.">"When we did finally manage to get you out of this basement we had to bathe you twice to get the smell out of your coat and you were dehydrated.""Only a little!" you insisted, looking up at him>This time Anon snorted, covering his mouth with a hand>Lero squatted down>"Hon, I know you're excited about Anon here. To be honest, I am too," he said, tucking a bit of your mane behind your ear. "Maybe if you find out why Anon has these organs you can figure out how to give me them.">You could...>Which meant that you wouldn't have to worry about him as much>He'd be able to take a kick, a lightning bolt, whatever a pony could take and maybe more>The organs might even let him channel magic in some way...>Seeing your eyes lose focus, your husband cupped your face and leaned forward>"I understand, but I don't want you working yourself to death," he said, pressing his forehead against yours. "Pace yourself.">You looked into his eyes>Your gaze then snapped over toward Lyra, who was staring at your expectantly>...>Fine...>Sighing, you leaned against your husband"Alright. I won't go overboard. I promise," you said, rubbing your nose against his.>Your husband smiled
>>29716981>"Thank you," he murmured, giving you a kiss>Not able to help yourself, you leaned forward, kissing him as he retreated>Lero chuckled, returning the kiss as you stared into his eyes>Sweet Celestia above do you love this stallion...>You were about to wrap a hoof around your stallion and pull him closer when Lyra cleared her throat>"Twilight, you're making out in front of the prince.">Eyes widening, you quickly broke your kiss and looked over at Anon>He was looking at Lyra, his eyes narrowed and his nose scrunched up>"When I get up I'm putting you over my knee and beating you like one of my kids," he said, pointing at her>Lyra bowed>"Of course, your highness.">Making a noise of disgust, Anon looked back at you and Lero>"Hey, I know that you'd like to run a whole bunch of tests on me but would it be alright if we start heading up to Canterlot? I kinda want to be home to help my wife feed the kids.""Oh course," you said, stepping away so he could get up. "And, um... sorry you had to see that.">"You should see what me and the missus do when she's in the middle of court," Anon said with a wave of a hand. "So don't worry about it. Now where the hell is my shirt? I gotta hide all of this glorious dad bod before I go outside."~_~_~_~_~_~_~>The trip back to Canterlot was a quiet one>You stared out the window the whole time, lost in your thoughts>There was still so much to process...>Anon here GREW a set of organs...>Organs that made him durable, among other things...>You might not have been the smartest man in the world, but you couldn't help but think on what those other things might be
>>29716959>>Your nose scrunched up>"Are you sure you haven't noticed anything unusual, Anon?">>Anon shook his head>>"Nope.">"No things moving around your room randomly? Maybe you could jump a little higher than before. It could have been as simple as grass being a little longer if you stood on it too long.">"Well, 'Just Harry'... did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared?"
>>29716987>Sure, he might be able to use earth pony magic or anything else, but what if they gave him other passive abilities?>What if they were the reason he was able to have kids?>You might finally be able to have that big family you always wanted...>The castle would be filled with the sounds of kids...>"Lero. Hey, Lero. Hey.">Brought out of your thoughts, you looked over to see Anonymous staring at you>"You alright there? You look a bit pale.""What? Oh, no, no, I'm fine," you said, leaning back in your chair. "I was just thinking.">"Yeah, I can understand that," Anon said with a nod. "A lot of stuff came to light today huh?">You nodded slowly, staring at the back of the seat in front of you"Yeah...">A sigh escaped you"A lot of stuff.">Leaning over, Anon placed a hand on your shoulder>You couldn't help but twitch, looking back over at him>"Hey, I'm sure that when my Twilight give your wife her notes you'll find out everything that you want," he said, giving your shoulder a squeeze>God above you hope so...>Shoulders sagging, you couldn't help but smile ruefully"Yeah, probably.">Giving your shoulder a few pats, Anon leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes>"Oh, and before I forget. Could you do me a favor and thank Luna for me?">...>Thank Luna?"Yeah, sure. But what do you need to thank Luna for?">Anon's eyes snapped open>His gaze was aimed at the ceiling, but if you didn't know any better you would have said that he was looking at something else>"Just tell her I said thank you. She'll know what for."
>>29716993Alright, I'm done. I just wanted to do a short little chapter. I also know that I fucked up with princess Anonymous in the first post
>>29717001I hadn't even noticed. But now I have.
>>29716953LAP, BABY, YOU'RE HERE
>page 8Lap why
>>29716993>>"Just tell her I said thank you. She'll know what for."For preventing nightmares?
>>29715689yes tech.There's some potential in RGRE/Tech crossover ideas.
>>29717515It was for the blowie right before he got onto the train.
>>29716725I think you mean he started off as a whiny bitch who was gaming the system for dem sweet moniesBut then got a tiny bit sympathetic right at the end, because Octy was neglectful and a touring workaholic
>>29717001>>29717019I noticed it and thought it was on purpose until Twilight 'thought' the correct way on the next line.Looking forward to seeing if Lero gets himself some horgans and takes the world by storm. Or at least grows a bit more of a spine, since he won't have the constitution of a wet noodle anymore.
>>29717983I think that his spinelessness is kinda justified. I mean, imagine living in a land that doesn't take kindly to you because you aren't one of them, and mix in the fact that one of them could kill you very VERY easily if they really wanted to.And some of them really want to. Look at Anon: A pony committed attempted murder because he approached that pony and asked about her past. I'd be fucking terrified of providing somebody with a flimsy excuse (the only excuse they need) to straight-up murder me in front of a dozen pony witnesses and one purple alicorn princess.
>>29718136I get that there's reasons he is the way he is. Even without his made of cardboard-ness, there's the whole 'amnesiac torture victim of evil fae creatures' thing.But having less super dying skills would hopefully let him be a little more assertive.
>>29718165>Lero gets horgans>Can stand up to an earth pony's buck>Immediately goes to find Honeydew and spits in her face
>>29716953>princess anonymousUuuuuuhhhh... what?
>>29718281It's like Alcoholics Anonymous only there are only 4 members, and they pretend not to know each other while they talk about the shameful things they've done during their reign.
>>29716993Why did Anon not mention the cosmic horrors which stalk him? Does he think that doesn't count as magical phenomena?
>>29718321Maybe he mentioned them to Luna and she did something nice in return, which is why he was thanking her.
>>29718300I assumed he had huge horgans, horgans fit for a princess. All that sweet magic, but no idea how to use it.
>>29718136The idea of a pony killing you easily is just so pants on head stupid. They are at perfect kicking height jump on them and smash them into the floor.
>>29716993I still wish Anon was a free man and not tied down to Celestia. This is the one time Troll Anon would be better, mostly to make fun of Lero. But no, both men are all about "muh horsewife and abomination spawn".
>>29715916>"A- anon, please.">Pressing your face in-between Twilight's meager mammaries you grab them, smooshing them against your face. Shaking from side to side you try to get a good motorboat going.>"Woah, nice going Twilight, how'd you get him to do that?">"What!? I just said Pinkies breasts were too large and wouldn't be that great for taking care of her stallion!">Pulling your face out of her petty pa-ta-tas you frown."3/10, too small to get a good grip and little to no jiggle.">Twilight blushes harder. "Wh- what? But I thought stallions liked small breasts?">A sombre looking Pinkie quickly changes to surprise as you give your review to Twilight.>Grabbing Pinkie by the withers you toss her back and shove your face in her bouncy baby-feed bags.>Her huge hug-sacks feel plush and soft against your face.>The soft velvety feeling of heaven continues as you shake your head in between them, grabbing them bountifully and hugging them to your face.>Pinkie squeals in surprise and stars giggling.>"Wowie-powie Anon, you're pretty rough.">Laying your head in-between her big, bloated bunnies, you sigh in contentment."Tiddies~">Pulling yourself out of her double-decker donuts you smile as you register the blushes on the face of everypony at the table."8/10, nice bounce. Easy to grip, soft as a kitten and smell like fresh bread."
>>29718362You've clearly never read LaP's story, the part where Honeydew kicks him straight into a wall. The other ponies are legitimately and honestly surprised that he lived and didn't suffer from a collapsed ribcage. We're talking about an Equesria where the ponies are stronger, dummy.
>>29718420>Twilight speaks up from your side.>"Bu- but they're all big and useless and silly. W- why Anon.">Pinkie just sits with a smug smile and deep red blush before turning and addressing you.>"Hey, Anon. N- no stallions usually ask, but do you wanna come see the rest of the bakery? We're all out of milk and I sure could use your help getting some more~""Sure, Pinkie I'd love to. But don't you need a whole ton of milk to run a bakery; I think we need an extra source.">You both turn to the side simultaneously to see Fluttershy starting at you wide-eyed. She gets up to run, her massive, milky, mare melons swing below her, knocking her off balance.>Grabbing her quickly you lift her up and rub your face against her great, gigantic, gentle pony knockers."9/10. Soft and squishy, meld to your face, smell like fresh cut grass and could be used to suffocate someone." >She squeals as you and Pinkie run her into the back and upstairs.>"No Anon, I'm still sore from last tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!">Dash and Twilight look down at their small snugglers sadly and speak simultaneously.>"S- stupid stallion.">"D- dumb stallion.">A loud clopping can be heard as a large white Alicorn enter Sugarcube Corner.>Princess Celestia walks wide legged to make room for her gigantic and godly, full and filling, opulent and over-sized, tremendous teats. They swing like coconuts from a tree on a breezy day, letting out small droplets of white liquid as she steps.>"Oh, hello my dear Student. You wouldn't happen to have seen Anon would you? He... usually /helps me out/ when I get like this.Stop distracting me with tiddies Anon. I have stories to write.
>>29718362think of it like facing a dwarf: short, low reach, but strong. stay out of melee range or you'll feel their strength first-hand, and you should consider taking them out at range if you have to, like some knife-eared tree-fucking piece of shit elf. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjHclWPVij0
>>29718437>>29718420this is getting dangerously close to the pony-who-shall-not-be-named. i miss her and her huge assets.
>>29718437>>"Hey, Anon. N- no stallions usually ask, but do you wanna come see the rest of the bakery? We're all out of milk and I sure could use your help getting some more~"
>>29718454Are you describing LOTR dwarfs, or Dwarf Fortress dwarfs? That elf hatred makes me lean towards dorf fortress.
If Pinkie doesn't have access to Sunset or femanon's sweet milkbags, then would her obsession turn to two other hanging orbs that Anon has?>"Testes~"
>>29718550probably not, since the stallions of equestria would probably be a lot better endowed in that department.
>>29718437>cuddling celestia belly to belly>hind legs wrapped around your lower back, groin pressing into her breasts>front legs wrapped around your neck, pulling your face into her fluffy chest>big, soft wings wrapped around you like a warm silky blanket>snout pressed into the top of your headtruly this is the pinnacle of comfort and coziness
>>29718517Perfect pone proportions
>>29718512there's plenty of Elf hate in both.Even Gimli and Legolas, the dwarf and elf bros of the world, spent most of their time in the fellowship shittalking each other and claiming themselves and their race superior.
>>29718362I agree completely, that's why I hate Xenophilia and any other story like it.
>>29718687I want to see a story where Anon's shit-talking skills are considered to be a weapon, and he could bring down villains just by hurling varied and creative insults their way until they relented or fled.
>>29718699Humanity Fuck Yeah!I'm always rooting for the human by the end but by the end he becomes a race traitor so he can go die in my eyes, see NO I AM NOT A brony and Your Human And You
>Anon moves into a ramshackle old house on the edge of Ponyville, which is rumored to be haunted by a mare who booped her whole family before turning her hoof on her own nose
>>29718791>Guybrush Threepwood in RGRE
>>29718420>her bouncy baby-feed bags.I like this way of describing them. I'm using it.
>>29718437>>You both turn to the side simultaneously to see Fluttershy starting at you wide-eyed. She gets up to run, her massive, milky, mare melons swing below her, knocking her off balance.my dick>"No Anon, I'm still sore from last tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!"MY DICK
>>29718862as long as she still has some soft parts, or can make her ghostly body corporeal, i'm down for it.
The answer is obvious, you get horgans by having sex with Celestia. That is why Lero has none. Also why he his testicles are too small and can't have children.Fuck the Sun Pony, get Magic.
>>29719259Well, Lero must fuck Celestia from his world then. +1 pone to his herd. Maybe Luna as a bonus too
>>29719431>you will never have two Celestia's and two Luna's from different dimensions at once
>>29701902Continuing OnO story times http://pastebin.com/036Q8qfC“Nothing for it I guess, so how far are we from the ruins?” >”Shouldn’t be too long now, I think it’s around the bend there.” Fluttershy answers you pointing ahead. >It would make some sense that the travel rules would be suspended unless certain events occurred. It hardly felt like you had just left town. >With party in tow your group soon arrives to find a ruin made of marble and sandstone worn away by time. Just before the ruins you can spot a sign that reads, ‘Danger, do not enter!’>”Twilight, Darling did you happen to hear anything about these ruins? Something that could help us be better prepared?” Rarity asks as you all come to a stop by the sign post.>”No, the most I heard was that these ruins just suddenly appeared overnight, ponies have gone in of course trying to figure out what is inside, yet none have returned.”>Rarity hums in thought at that before looking closer at a chunk of foundation that lays nearby, “I think I recognize this style.” >As soon as Rarity starts to inspect the stonework a small golden glow springs up around here before her eyes light up with glee.>”Oh! OH!” Rarity prances in place looking pleased as punch before whirling to look at the rest of you. “These ruins belong to the Copper reign in BD 500 or so I if recall!”>The rest of you simply stare at her blankly making Rarity huff in frustration.>”Honestly, Twilight spends the time to come up with the lore of the world and none of you have read it?” Rarity said exasperation thick in her tone.“First time playing with the world, can’t blame me for that.”>”Eh, I’m just here more for the fighting.” Rainbow said bluntly while Applejack nods beside her.>”I-I was more interested in the animal section…” Fluttershy murmurs avoiding Rarity’s gaze.
>>29719553>”Is the Copper reign really important then?” Pinkie asks as she balances atop one of the broken pillars.“Pinkie, be careful!”>”Psh I’m fi-whoa!” Pinkie teeters on her stand before tumbling off the stonework into kneel before you.>As you start to ask if she’s alright Pinkie jumps right back up like a demented jack in the box, “I’m okay!”>You simply shake your head before ruffling Pinkie’s mane, “Be more careful you dork.”>Pinkie simply ignores you content with the head rubbing.>”Ahem.” Rarity drags your attention back before she continues, “As I was saying, the Copper reign is famous for being one of the first kingdoms to use magic in the construction of their homes as well as forming the basis on which the later Platinum era adopted over time. So what we can expect from these ruins will be magical anomalies, constructs and most likely puzzle based locks.” “How in the world are you so sure of that?”>Flushing Rarity giggles to herself a look of pride across her face, “Well I do happen to have architect as my class profession after all. As well as my skill in history help place what type of buildings come from what era of course!”>”Yeah, yeah you’re really good at min maxing we get it Rarity.” Rainbow said rolling her eyes at her friends antics. >Rarity lets out a snort of disdain, “Last I recalled you were quite happy for my min maxing when I helped you make your character.”“Girls come on, let’s not fight alright?”>”Anon’s right. We should head in and be wary of any traps.” Twilight said walking towards the ruins first. >”Twilight did you forget? I go first.” Rainbow said jumping in front of Twilight before she went any further.
>>29719557“Rogue?”>”I’ve got the trap detecting and disarming for it after all.” Rainbow said with a smirk before turning back to slowly make her way to the entrance of the ruins itself.>Ahead is a large square building decorated with ornate columns that have been worn away by time. The archway is crumbling away revealing the foundation of the building as the stone litter the staircase leading into the building.>Waiting for Rainbow soon become tense as you watch her multi colored tail disappear inside the building.>A tense ten minutes pass by with the speed of a snail when you hear Rainbow shout out, “All clear!”>Stepping inside with the group you find a near empty room that has been ransacked from first glance.>What draws your attention is Rainbow standing in front of a vault door that bars her way.>”Is it a combination lock?” Twilight asked stepping closer to look at the door lifting up her helmet.>Standing head and shoulders above the little ponies you’re able to see that the door is featureless aside from a large protrusion shaped like a torpedo’s head.>”No dials, no levers, heck there isn’t even any handy clues around that can point at a button! Nothing!” Rainbow complains smacking the metal door which clangs with an echo.>You all freeze in place as the echo continues unnaturally so.
>>29719560>”R-rainbow, what did you do?!” Fluttershy squeaked out eyes wide in worry.>”I just hit, that’s all!” Rainbow said head on a swivel as she scans the room for traps.>You meanwhile are watching the door and are the only one to notice the dimly glowing light in the center of door.“Move!”>Shoving aside Twilight, who is standing right in front of the damn thing, you brace yourself for pain.>Instead of burning agony you instead feel nothing before a voice echoes in the room, “Test subjects acquired, initiating scan.”>Wot.>The dim light washes over both you and Twilight, then the whole group behind you.>”Beginning Download.”“Oh shi-”>A flash of aquamarine light fills your vision.I have more, but I kinda wanna space it out so I have more content to give, unless you guys want me to blow my whole load all at once...
>>29719562space it out please. i have to sleep
>>29719607>Cliffhanger, hanging from a cliff! That's why she's called cliffhanger!I understood that reference.
>>29716959>according to the size of his glans he should be as durable as a pony>his glansWhile many believe that having a big glans is a good thing, it is not regarded as a source of durability.>>29716138I want more of those.>>29717001It was okay.Keep going.>>29718281He grew wings and a horn, it's not all that complicated.>>29718362I disagree. Just because they are short does not mean they can't be dangerous.>>29718420>Smell like fresh breadPinkie's been sleeping in the oven again.>>29718437Celestia's tits grow stronger every time they are used as an exclamation.She can do push-ups using them by this point.>>29718570Princess is for cuddles.>>29719562Yusss, more DnD pons.We need more Anonpone in RGRE.>Anonpone has never been a human.>She's just a humie (Adult fan of a certain cartoon about humans written for young colts).>Anonpone writes stories on /mlh/ and is autistic.>Anon in Humania thread, where an anonymous pony somehow in human land is the focus.>>Bill Clinton fucks up a saxaphone rehersal and summons Ponon into Humania.>>Ponon is taken to meet President Trump.>>Goes on an adventure with Bill and his friends to stop the evil Premier Putin.>Anonpone gets too into self-inserting when reading her redtext stories.>Her autism levels get too high and the madness takes her.>Maybe buys a crossbow and does a Shin.>Maybe only turns against her childhood friends Brad Lee and Stacy Lacey.>Tragedy end.
>>29720128Anonpone prompts>Anonpone and friends must travel to the Canadian Empire in the frozen north to defeat the evil King Trudeau, and place Maxime Bernier on his rightful throne>Hillary Clinton rises from her tomb, kidnaps Anonpone's husbando, and flees into the wastes of California>Anonpone's stories of great tabletop battles are mistaken for actual military experience. When the wicked Queen Merkel invades the United Queendom, Anonpone is given command of a battalion on the front lines.>Anonpone is caught in a romantic triangle between Bill Clinton, General Mattis, and President Trump, and she must teach them the wonders of herding (and colt-on-colt action... unf)
>>29720205>Earth has reversed gender roles due to a massive gender imbalance>Anonpone resolves to fix this by baring as many children as possible>They're all females and all extremely marely like herself>Soon, human stallions are consigned to the kitchen while mares take charge
>>29720205>President Trump sends Anonpone to meet Elon Musky, and teach him the magic of friendship>He's a cute, nerdy stallion with a love of big phallic rockets and a slight hygiene problem>She helps him make friends while simultaneously working on a reusable Mars rover>They fall in love and have like 15 foals i dunno
anonpone is cancera non pone is fine.
>>29720205>Anonpone is kidnapped by King Trudeau and his Liberal army>Liberals are a terrifying, insectoid race capable of changing shape and blending in with any crowd, bent on stealing the love and prosperity of average Canadians>She gives him the V and tempers his fury, turning him into the perfect submissive husbando
>>29720205>Anonpone has mare friends, but it's so weird hanging out with them>All they talk about is clothes, makeup, their shitty husbands who won't let them dip into the rent to buy a new pair of shoes>One day, she calls them out on their bullshit like the marely mare she is, and all the human stallions clap, knowing that at least one female is on their side
>>29718362>>29718454 While they aren't defenseless, they just aren't built to fight as good as humans. >Head at kick height>They can't hold guard, maybe with one hoof at time, but still it's one of the most important point in human fighting and they can't do it>Unless they kick with their hind legs, they can't use more than one limb at time to fight efficiently>quadrupedal build mens that they are slower to rotate>They can't grapple or at least do it a lot worse than humans>Their heads are at front and they can't protect them, while human head is out of their range>Also it all aply to using any kind of weaponSo unless they pin you down, kick in the nuts, or have numerical advantage human should win almost always
>>29718420>smell like fresh bread.
>ziggers stealing our stallions
>>29720128>Milfanon in RGRE>Ara ara and Ufufufu's~ around>No one can stand against the oppressive might of her Ara's and Ufu's~ >Even Button Mash' nuclear hot mom succumbed .>Such is her might that even Princess Celestia and the Griffon King called her mom in the middle of border negotiations.>Something something RGRE
>>29719562Rarity is best pone, in-game and irl.
>>29720508>MilfanonDo you mean Dilfanon?Because I'm pretty sure a Milf would just confuse RGRE mares, 'why is that mare acting like a stallion?, whatta weirdo'
>Anon just got the hang of pony body language, and feels confident enough to go on a couple practice dates just as a feeler>What started as a blind date with a professional judge turned into something more>And no, he still can't figure out ponies' age unless they're actually a foal or Granny Smith>Hey, the fur hides the wrinkles, and magic botox is very effective!
>>29720820I'd make her voice horse from all the harsh whinnying she'd do.
>>29720820>Mrs. Harshwhinny is actually younger than he mane 6>Her parents made it very clear that she had to succeed in life (Equestrian version of the typical "go to college, get a degree, or you'll work 3 jobs at walmart and mcdonalds and you'll be absolutely miserable for the rest of your god-forsaken life" speech), so she dresses up and tries to act as "professional" as possible>Figures that looking older and experienced will make her more respected and successful>Is desperately afraid of failuresomething something RGRE
>>29720270Look at what happen when people get killed by horses / cows / whatever.Quadrupeds just charge and tackle you, then play whack-a-human with their hooves. No need for fancy parry or fancy hitting techniques.If anything, it's humans that aren't built for fighting and are forced to rely on complex training and/or weaponry.
>>29720847>>Is desperately afraid of failureI want to comfort Harshwhinny when she's become a nervous wreck.
>>29720863>Quadrupeds just charge and tackle you, then play whack-a-human with their hoovesFor demonstration. Here is a video of a dog getting to close to a fawn when mom is around
>>29720900>too closeThe fucking dog was a houselength away from them and got charged on and yet the cat lays down with the foal like nothing
>>29720924Deer are shits. Fuck deer forever.
>>29720871>>29720900Holy fuck, that deer is a psycho. It's barely less violent that when a corrida goes wrong ...But yeah, now imagine that with AppleJack's applebucking legs instead.
>>29720947>"OH CELESTIA THE HOO-MAN IS GETTING CLOSE TO APPLE BLOOM, HE'S ONLY 200 METRES AWAY">And then Anon was beat to death
>>29720205> /mlh/ redtext> Oblivious Eponymous drinks the significantly advanced magic hemlock> Wakes up in Moscow> For some reason all the human males get a little vanilla ice cream on the crotch of their pants when she trots by> Epon asks some passing guards for directions to Putin's office> They are very helpful, if a bit in a hurry> They keep on swatting her flank to get her to go faster> When they get to Putin, he tells the guards to leave them> He walks around his desk with a sway in his hips> "Epon, my last horse died a long time ago, leaving a hole I thought could never be filled. But with you, perhaps you can fill that hole for me, and I..."> He walks behind her and lifts her tail> "I can fill this hole for you."> Monogamous good end
>>29720944Deer ate my cabbages last summer. This summer, I'm circling my garden in coyote piss.
>>29721011Why not like, a fence?
>>29721016>Not chicken wire hooked up to an energy sourceFuck deer and those bastard rabbits who ate my fucking blueberry bushes.
>>29721016If I had to guess, the piss is cheaper, easier to set up, and deer can jump pretty high.
>>29721030>Coyote piss is easier, cheaper and more convenient to come by than wooden stakes and wire fencingI don't believe you
>>29721030There's a tree farm near my house, and they had to install twelve foot chain link fences supported by repurposed telephone poles to keep the fucking deer out.
>>29721053googled 'coyote urine', seems you can buy bottles of it for $10 a pop.
>>29721053>>29721030>>29721025>>29721016>>29721011HA HA! TIME TO HUNT DEER.I feel ya guys. I don't hate animals. But these fucking shits really makes it hard not to.
>>29720871Yeah, but most undulates on our planets are bigger than ponies, we don't discuss fighting horse or cow, but fighting pony.Unless with asume that they have super strenght, they are at disadvantage.
>>29721064Now imagine this, but ponies.
>>29718807>implying you wouldn't do the same thing>implying you wouldn't destroy the earth if it meant a happy life with your waifu
>>29719553>Rarity is a lore nerdMy heart.
>>29721053Deer can, and WILL jump over/through that shit. Some shitty bylaws ban me from using barbed wire, so, I'm going with coyote piss.
>>29721265Fucking deers.>Be me>Mother plants morning glories because they were my dad's favorite flowers.>Wake up in the morning.>Mother is crying>Garden fucked up.>Turns out deer came and ate the garden.>It was one of the few things my mother had to remember my dad by.Fucking deers.
>>29721265Three words for you.Automated. Sentry. Guns
>>29720871Yeah, because they're fucking huge. If they were big dog sized they wouldn't be able to do that.
>>29721140>Anon is carrying a hogtied Princess Celestia through a crystal maze.>"Anon, I know we agreed to pay you a pretty sum if you managed to draw out and capture Sombra but is this really necessary?" Yes Princess Celestia. Now, now I know it's strange. But If my hunch is correct this lost art will guarantee that shitter's capture.>Anon lifts her butt up and gets the egg vibrator.>"A-Anon what's that!">An hour of sexy princess moaning and sexual stimulation later. Sombra can be seen shambling towards the Princess and Anon, A dazed look in his eyes and an erection.See Princess. Im a fucking genius. Now let's find- Ah there.>Anon gets a decently sized rock and bashes Sombra on the head. Repeats it 3 times after Sombra got knocked out for good measure.>Celestia just lies and stares there in a post orgasamic haze. >Anon signals the containment team on their location. [QUEST CLEARED]
>>29721358I demand moar about "Egg vibrator"
>>29721358You gained:52 XP12 GoldYou found loot!1x Rusty Knife
>>29721064>>29721358write greentext plz.
>The cow-girl pony probably has a fetish that involves being kicked with spurs.I wish someone is going to write this.
This bread is getting staleFresh bread when?
>>29721574We're not even past 500 yet you autist.
>>29718420I don't usually crawl out of the woodwork to take potshots at people's art, but the meltyness of that picture actually made me double take. Jesus Christ, she looks like a wax figurine that someone start melting with a lighter.
>>29721309I saw some dude selling those things like 5 years ago online. It was hooked up to a paintball gun and the software was extremely user-friendly. The "size of target" (so it would know what to look for) had a drop-down menu with 4 categories of size.
Person who witnessed the witness.
>>29721574>Asian Anonymousof fucking course
Do we make a new thread or use the shitty too-early thread?
>>29721596samefag>>29721565Fuck me they're EVERYWHERE. Who's fucking melting wax figurines in their art?
>>29721565Asiananon, why do you insist on namefagging when you have contributed absolutely nothing to the thread?
Legit though, do you want another proper thread made? I still get nightmares of that time we had 6 threads up because of one retard.
New thread up>>29721704>>29721704>>29721704
>>29721708You heard the mare! Chop-chop!>>29721704>>29721704>>29721704
>>29720205>Then Mike A Zap A Day Keeps The Homo Away Pence comes in and works his magic.
>>29721011Fuck that. Sit outside with a 30ot6 with a long scope on it and blow their fucking heads off! The carcass can either be used to feed your crop or your family. Or you could sell it.
>>29721809What is it like to be 12?
>>29720900Why would a human just stand there?My flight or fight instincts have always chosen fight so i would probably charge at it as well.