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Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear

Thread 229 and the new year is coming in so fine!

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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>31600895

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check it out here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for you, Pinkie! You earned it!
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So many pinkies..:
>same fucking second
>both for ponka pi

I’m sure there were warm intentions here, but I just can’t imagine anything like this being any more funny.
A great start to a new thread in the new year.
>Probably wanted to make sure nobody like sexy Hooves or Chrysalis beat Pinkie this time
>Ends up undercutting the actual PP anon

I can’t
So this is the power... of a ponk.

>Tia? Gotta question.

“Nngghh. Nhhhhh.”

>Stop tryin’ to explode mah’ head with yer’ mind

“Explode your own head so I won’t have to!”

>Look, that kinda ties into what Ah’ was wantin’ to ask. We have a way to detect magical blood clots, right?

“I beg your pardon!?”

>Ah’ mean it! Ya’ know, like iffin’ someone with some TK decides to pinch a nerve to kill someone or somethin’. Ah’ mean, we’ve got a way to check for that, right? Otherwise unicorns could literally get away with murder.


>Yeah you have it or yeah you agree they could do that?


>You never looked into that, did you. Never once asked yer’ detectives if they had some way to actually do some investigative work on magic. Didn’t even ask about it.

“Well, I mean, it never really came up-“

>Unicorns might have been runnin’ around able to dole out heart attacks if they feel like it and it’s ALL YER’ FAULT



>Har har, get ta’ fallin’ already. Fall. Falll. Celly? C-Celly?

“TO THE MOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooonnnnnnnnn…”

I mean... canterlot is mostly unicorns.

Makes things easier.
To murder?
I call hear your Pinkie boner from here. Joe must be losing it.
The third one was mine
>Joe got to be a part of the Pinkie Pile

Of course.
>Equestrian Police, magic division

*Comes across a charred corpse
>Looks like this is a case for Twilight... Sparked.


"Really? You're moving on to me now?"

>Wha-NO! NO NO NO! I wasn't thinking about you like that!

"Awww, now I'm disappointed, I thought I was sexy."

>You are!

"Well obviously not if the guy who went for Applejack and Rarity of all ponies isn't thinking about me like that!"

>That's not-wait how do you mean that?

"Just say I'm not sexy!"

>Applejack and Rarity are sexy though!


>No, wait, I was refuting the other point!

"But you never affirmed the first!"

>I was getting to that!

"Sure, when you picked your HATE up off the floor!"

>I don't hate you!

"Oh good, I was worried you hated ugly ponies."

>I don't!... wait. NO-


>Entrapment! ENTRAP-


~I heard screaming!


~Why is everyone screaming!?~

"Why are you looking at me like I'm hot!?"

~Why wouldn't I?~



Without another question, she leaps at the stallion, and he catches her.


"Walk off, Shiny, walk off!"

Unwilling to argue with mares anymore, he quickly decides to awkwardly start doing the minotaur walk to take her out of the room before things get crazier.


He doesn't even see her give Spike a wink before the door shuts.

>...I feel used.
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Pinkie Preview Propheciess

>Applejack feels weird when she gets peared up with Rarity!
>Spike makes a new resolution.
>Berry Punch tries to end a fight by smashing a beer bottle over somepony's head.
>Octavia puts her flamethrower cello to work.
>Luna encourages mircotransactions for dreams.
>Scootaloo is still kinda scared of camping.
>brand new fanservice!
>Luna encourages mircotransactions for dreams.

Now see, now I think she deserved death
This is Luna, she probably thinks that means literal teeny tiny bits
That's cute, Luna acute.
So I got this idea for a silly little thing once the craziness dies down and I’m finally caught up which could be funny, could be feelsy.

So...anyone here especially attached to Upper Crust?
Don't make plans till you're caught up! It'll be a wasted effort if you think of something better when you do!
In all honesty I could probably do it in OOCO but the reading takes up most of my time.

My idea for her is that she comes to the absurd conclusion that all this bad stuff keeps happening because everyone allows the evil in the world to build up. Therefore, she reasons, if someone were to just do a little evil every day, then it’d be like pin pricks in a balloon, alleiviating the pressure. Of course we all know it’s bonkers to think that but she was bonkers the last time she showed up and I like the idea of the world’s worst femme fatale villainess.
Actually, you and me might be able to collab on that in the future because of something I'm planning to do!
Sounds wonderful, can’t wait.
To,d you so

See why it ended up so violent?

Most likely KKA mentioned “Robocop reference” and Kuddler was like “I gotcha senpai”

KKA might not have remembered how that went in the movie
Sounds fun and kooky, we could use a low-key villain after this.
>Most likely KKA mentioned “Robocop reference” and Kuddler was like “I gotcha senpai”
>implying I would have had Flash and Fizzle just stomp her repeatedly if it was a full-on Robocop reference
Dude. I would have taken full responsibility for her arc from that point onwards if I had found anyonebwilling to read it. But under the limitations given... well... that's what happened instead.
Yeah...we were...less than thrilled that it happened.
The robocop thing was awesome, and had probably the third best fight in the entire arc. Which says a lot.
Yeah, as freakout worthy as the beat down was the ensuing battle was freaking spectacular.

Bahhhh, water under the bridge man, stop worrying so much! We’re looong past that point.
Seriously, it’s fine, stop fussing.
She does show up later, I think? Don’t know when.
The group is sitting around a table playing OnO.
>Okay I'm glad we're continuing.

"I just don't want to die embarrassingly."

'Seriously, we couldn't even cross a river?'

[I'm sure it'll be better this time.]

>Alright, you find yourselves further down the river and you all crawl out.

"*cough* That could have gone better."

'It wouldn't have happened if somepony hadn't fell into the river.'

[Hey hey let's not fight. Let's just get to town or tavern to dry off.]

>Luckily you were all washed down to a nearby town. Want to check it out?

"Let's go. Is there a tavern?"


"Let's get some ale!"

>You all walk into the tavern. There's a warm fire. A deer bard is playing music and the bar maid is pouring a few drinks for some of her customers. What do you all do?

'I'm going to see if I can get the bard to play a song.'

[I'll just warm up by the fireplace.]

"I go up to the bar maid to order a drink. I'd like to use persuasion to get a discount on the drink. I tell her I'd like to get the most intoxicating drink in the bar...you."

>Roll for it.

"Oho 19."

>She smiles and says you can have a drink on the house.

"Things are looking up."

'What about me?'

>Right, roll to try and persuade the bard. Get a 7 or higher.

'Uh 6.'

>Wow. She tells you to buzz off.

'Rude! 77 help me out here.'

[Alright. I walk over and tell the bard to take the request.]

>Roll 8 or higher this time.


>She slaps you and says I'm not some harlot at your beck and call. Find a wench somewhere else.

'Don't let her talk to you that way. I slap this bitch.'

>Give me a 12 or higher.


>You slapped her so hard you twisted her neck killing her.


>The bartender screams MURDERER and picks up a dagger. Two other people in the bar draw their swords ready to attack you.


[Poppet has a pimp hoof.]

'...I regret nothing.'
Oh... that's spooky, I have an unfinished pic of spike JUST like this going 'It's the third time in two days!'
Okay Spike obviously set that up.
My Burning Anus, My Burning Anus
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh...
[Twilight Sparkle]
(My Burning Anus)
I used to wonder what butthurt could be
(My Burning Anus)
Until you all used its power on me
[Rainbow Dash]
Huge self-esteem
[Pinkie Pie]
Trolling posts
Gay niggers wipe
Shitposting folks
No one's caring!
[Twilight Sparkle]
It's an easy feat
And insults make it all complete
You have my burning anus
Do you know you're all just very huge fags?

“Ya’ll ever wonder what’s it would be like to kiss a griffon?”

>I’m so happy we’re st the point in our relationship we can discuss inter species relationship minutiae.

“Ah’ was just thinkin’ about it, like, it can’t be nice, right? It would be like grinding teeth together.”

>...do griffons have teeth?

“Let’s stay on topic here.”

>Right, can’t stray from discussions of catbird tongues action.

“Dang straight. Now, here’s mah’ idea, Ah’ figure they don’t really kiss, they just peck each other. That might even be where the phrase came from! A peck on the cheek might be literal!”

>It also might be racist on our part. Have you considered the racism?

“Yer’ sister is the one with the messed up hair.”

>Touché. But, rather than speculate, maybe it would be a good idea to just ask them?

“Ah’ don’t wanna be rude.”

>Which is why you’re talking about their relationship habits behind their back.


>But, if we want to go this route, I think it’s cheek based, you know, lots of deep puffy cheek action, maybe they go to the edges so they can really dance it out.

“...That’s actually pretty close, Ah’ imagine.”

>Assuming they do it.

“How’d ya’ come ta’ that conclusion?”

>...careful consderation of their feelings and physiology?

“It’s blowjob based isn’t-“

>Every time I talk with you, it’s a trap.
AJ you just got out of a race mixing relationship, stick to ponies.



>…Look, it’s obvious you don’t like me as much as Chrysalis.


>Don’t deny it, you’re only hurting yourself.


>No, stop, this isn’t up for debate, it’s a fact.


>It’s a fact I say!


>Say it!






>…I knew you would hurt me like the others.

~Spike? I’m here to pick up Flurry, did you have fun-why the heck are you in the ceiling? Not… not ON the ceiling. How are you-~

>I hurt myself today, just to know it’s real.

~…why is Flurry playing with a dragon doll?~




~Do you want me to get you down?~


~But… your face-~

>I’m not going to cry in front of you.
WHy does it hurt




>Cadence? Huh, bit of divine irony there. Not that this is what irony means, but I do so love making the pedantic lose their mind in chaos.

“What the Love, Discord!?”

>I’m sorry, am I intruding?

“I’m in the shower!”

>You are!? My goodness! Quick, hold this rubber chicken!


>You have to do it, quickly now, quickly!

“Or what!?”

>Or what she says! Or what!

“Fine! FINE!... there, I have it.”

>Oh, good.

“What is this anyway?”

>It’s Shining Armor’s, I do believe he loved it quite a lot in his younger years.

“So… why did I need to hold this?”

>Because it was about time you handled Shining’s cock again!


>Don’t tell me you don’t get it-



>You do understand it! I’m so proud! He’ll be so happy!


Holy shit it worked

>Your prediction was correct, the Saddle Arabians took another hit.

“Told you so.”

>What a pity, I liked them.

“You liked the fact that one blue one let you get away with groping her.”

>I fell damn it, I fell!

‘I’ve ‘fallen’ a couple times too, dad, the trick is not to be grinning when you land.’

>I have a beak!

“And cheeks. Obviously. Otherwise it wouldn’t feel very good on your birthday.”

>Sure, that’s the reason.


‘Dad no what have you done.’

>I told her I wanted the other thing!

~Should we be listening to this?~

(I kinda feel morally obligated to at this point. Like, not even as a guard, just someone who exists who needs to see this unfold.)

>Look I’m just saying that it wouldn’t hurt-


‘ahahah, ahhhh, hey what are the odds that things gonna kill us? Is it high? Let’s make it high if we can or just drive it right into there youknowwhatthatsoundsgreatlet’sjustgooooooo-‘

(It’s… beautiful.)


> Well at least it isn’t pop spelled backwards again. They think they’re so clever!... wait. What in the name of delancie!? Two in a row? My word h-


>I’m afraid I’m only a priest of the order of the Nephrolithiasis, and we can’t bless things, we mostly just make a lot of screaming, but we do make you question if there’s a god!


>Don’t look that up. Trust me, you don’t want to know.

“…why are you here?!”

>Well Cadence kicked me out of the shower so she could handle Shining’s cock-

“Hey! Give Shiny his rubber chicken back!”

>…it pains me that you understand me.

“You’re predictable.”

>Sure, in this universe, who knows what gets up to me in other worlds.

“What you get up to.”

>Not a whole lot, sadly. One way trip.

“…Don’t chaos my paperwork.”

>Eighteen! I’d never dream of messing up your official documents, you have so much you need to work on! It would be rude!


>No, I’ll just turn your hair into snakes again.



>At least it’s not a Cadence knock off this time-


>I’m hearing that a lot today.

Mother of God, the power

>Is this getting warmer or colder?

“I told you to shift forwards, you’re too far back!”

>I don’t want to throw off the balance.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

>Your head is too hard to keep balanced without something heavy on the back.


>Ha haaa, I’m sorry, I deserved worse for this.

“You do.”

>You deserve to dump me right now.

“I should.”




“…but you’re gonna make me a huuuge cake when we’re done, so I can’t.”

>Sure! I can-

“With Empire Crystal Sugar.”


“Orrr, if you caaannn’t.”

>Dashie it’s so expensive.

“Welllll, this flying is going on for hours, and services aren’t free…”

>Dashie lots of services are free we have healthcare.”


“…it hurts.”

>Make them rainbow colored, Pinkie.

“Did you hear that? My walled just cried out in terror… and shot itself.”

>That’s a yes.
It’s been way too damn long as we just saw him doing him
Did Dash just win!?
Alright so been thinking more on this because work is boring and I got a few silly scenarios in my head like Crust getting a ‘Crew’ of some kind of fellow low tier baddies and jerks (so far I just got like Suri Polomare as the person who sews disguises) and attempting to hatch increasingly ridiculous plots that go awry in some silly fashion.
>Snobby pony from the restaurant episode is the resident planner, it has to be to perfection
>Garble is the muscle(He doesn't know why he's there)
>Marble is the architect*(She's going through her rebellious phase)
>Carrot Cake is the cook(He has no idea what they do, he just makes sure they've got the best snacks while they do it.)
I Was actually juggling either Garble or one of those Jocks from Cloudsdale as the muscle. I’m not entiiirely sure what you mean by Architect (like demolitions of she steals the floorplan of the place they’re hitting)? I’m gonna need to take a refresher on that Anton Ego pone but that could work.
>. I’m not entiiirely sure what you mean by Architect (like demolitions of she steals the floorplan of the place they’re hitting)

Yes, like she gets blueprints and layouts because she knows the consistency of ever floor of the buildings they hit. They need to tunnel? She knows which pick.
Gotcha, I have an idea for a heist in mind but I think I’ll build up to it rather than blow my load all in one go.

It may or may not have been inspired by listening to Botanic Panic during a work break
>>Carrot Cake is the cook

"Tomorrow, we hit the balloon factory, and let loose thousands into the sky! Now, we just need to-"

>Hey guys! Just wanted to make sure you're good on cookies.


>Cool, cool, coffee okay?


>Greeaattt, that's great everyone. Gotta keep on chugging! How about doughnuts?


>Right away! You guys know how to put these away.


>Great! Gotta stay in shape! So, did you all hear that whole thing with the spiders?... That was weird.

"We know nothing of that!"

>Oh, right, right, don't really read the newspaper too much either, too depressing! Heh, well you kids have fun.



Door shuts.

'...why don't we just lock the door?'



"These doughnuts are the only reason to save Equestria some days..."
>Meanwhile, Zephyrious is losing his shit

Guys come on

>...Something's wrong.

She could feel it, deep in the heart beneath solid black chitin. With every beat, a tingle in her head began to throb. Something made her hooves twitch, something made her blood race, something inside of her, within her, around her was the same.


Something was wrong, everything was simply wrong inside and out.

>No no no....

She turned left, right, spun around like a cornered animal, her fangs bared, her head low as if ready to charge and skewer whatever unfortunate creature lie in the path.

>Damn it..

Like locked projector, she suddenly stocked, frozen in time save for one tiny, near unnoticeable feature.

Her eyes were slowly widening.

>...this is wrong.

As if the broken reel jumped forwards, her head snapped to the side too quickly to be seen, those glassy eyes staring off into the curve of the hallway's path.


Wider, and wider her eyes grew.

Until they could perfectly reflect the light.

Wait what the fuck just happened
Did Chrysalis just get offed!?
I’m confused and worried
Hey man protip
Stop being so fucking vague
No really what the fuck was that she just went bonkers for a minute and then light came are her or something?

Did she fall into a trap? Is it the "Angels"? Is it Glimmer?

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>Literally a one post snippet about Chrysalis being upset
>Everyone loses their shit

KKA, you are some kind of wizard.
I was about to say "KKA likes Chrysalis too much for that", but then I remembered he's also a fan of SA/Chrysalis and he's currently exploded, so if they wanted to 'bond' in the light...
Somewhere, Cadence just had an aneurysm
... D-Does that mean he get's Blacked or that she get's White Washed?


"Hey Shiny, you died too?"






"...Y-you know...


"... It's till death do you part."

>...Oh? Oh. OH!

"Let's put our differences together and make some Gray!"
>Let's put our differences together

That has to be the most charming and subtle way of propositioning sex that I've ever seen.
It’s weirdly polite.
>Blue is not killed by magic, or spell, or AJ
>But by a pissed off pink pony keeping the bug off her man
>Sir? What's that?



What is this show? It’s our longest running gag, I swear.

>Did you hear that?

The question was as meaningless as whatever answer was whispered beneath a hushed breath.

>Somethin' don't sound right...

"Do you think it's one of them?"

Both bodies had moved instinctively, little thought needed to put them into defensive stances with horns already gathering what little magic they dared. It was with keen eyes that the orange mare noticed that quite uncharacteristic of the shy little thing back at home, the fellow alicorn at her side was not making her way to move backwards to better be shielded should something come.

She found herself unsure what to make of that.

>Ah' don't know, but if it is, stay behind me-

"Why? They can hurt you a lot easier than me."

Then, she was assured.

>Look, Ah'-

"I know, and I'm happy that you'd want to protect me, even if I'm not, well, your Fluttershy, but the point is, I'm not your Fluttershy. If something's coming..."

The walls changed colors, and that was that.

>...Alright, ya' sure you can control it?

"I absolutely cannot, there is no chance of that."

A long, arduous pause was needed before that sank in. Without a hint of irony, the brash mare took a step backwards.

"Good call."

>...somethin' is coming.

They could hear it now, a noise growing closer, indescribable save for a subtle hum that seemed to make everything around them vibrate. It was more than any mere noise, it was everywhere, it was everything.

"That's fine."

It was coming right for them.

"I have some feelings I need to work out."

In their eyes, there was light.
... so are we just wiping everyone out?
We’re either going full Mortal Kombat defenders of the realm or KKA is like “Fuck it, everyone attacks”

I’m okay with either
You know I kinda liked AUJ and Flutters. Hope they stick around.

Now where is Flash Vs Twi!?
I've been busy RL, give me some time, you'll get your bloodshed soon enough
Hope Joemama Is feeling better!
>Fancy Pants
“Fleur De Lis”

>Another night another excellent soiree, my darling.

“Couldn’t agree more, my dear, could not agree more.”

The two shining examples of Canterlot’s creme de la creme look out over the guests to the latest dinner party they are hosting. Despite the utter beatings the city has seen, if the elites of pony society have one thing they are good at, it is pretending things are good when they are probably on fire.

“Shame the Princesses couldn’t make it.”

>Yes, a true shame indeed but they are never without reason, pet.

“True true I...Fancy?”


“I thought you said this wasn’t a masquerade.”

>I did.

“Well then I see someone who did not get that memo.”

Walking up to the pair is...what is probably a pony. Certainly it appears to walk on four legs, there’s a distinct shape to the muzzle, but the issue here was that it has clad itself in a rather garish velvety overcoat with what appears to be a fur trim, a black hat with what could very well constitute the entire tail end of a peacock sprouting up from it, and a similarly sable domino mask framed with jewels that any keen eyed enthusiast would tell you to plastic.

>...Faust above, what am I looking at.

‘Ohohoho, why if it isn’t Fancy Pants and Fleur De Lis, fancy meeting you here on this looooovely night.’

“This is our home...”

>And our party, Ms..?

‘Oh so it is so it iiiiissss...tell me, darlings, how often do is it that you hold these little get togethers, hmmm?’

>I feel like this is something a pony who is regularly invited would know.

“Again we didn’t quite catch your name.”

‘Oh it’s hemhemcoughingnoiseshemhem, excuse me how very unladylike! But dooooo tell me, do you usually allow your ice sculpture to fall into such shoddy condition~?’

>I’m sorry, what?

“Dear, down by the buffet table, the ice swan we ordered is...well more the sort of thing a swan swims on now.”

>Odd, we just took it out, well thanks for bringing this to our attention Ms.-

‘How horrrrrrribble, it must feel, to have your party ruined in such a way! What shame! What calamity! It’s almost as if a crafty and cruel criminal had cast some form of magical flame to make it expire before its time!’

The mystery mare begins backing up towards an opening to a balcony, a sly smile on her face.

‘But who could be so monstrous, so very vile to visit such a thing upon you? Why it could only be the work of one mare~’

The mysterious malefactor strikes a pose as she hops backwards to the balcony’s railing-


Aaaand over it as she wasn’t watching where she was leaping.



‘Sweet Faust above I landed in a rosebush!’

“Well that’s unfortunate...”

‘I am in soooo much pain!’

>Should we...should we send for a doctor?

‘I am being pricked where I should be dicked!’

“Yes and get one of our replacement ice sculptures out too.”

>One of the forty or so other swans?

‘With my dying breath I curse Axcolt Rose!’

“No let’s go for the recreation of Celestia in repose.”



“She realizes we can see that’s Upper Crust, right?”

>Upper Crust, dear, wait for a doctor to come see to those cuts.



“Aaaaand she’s gone.”

>Poor thing.
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g'night thread
I like it already
>You've murdered the bard and this is looking pretty bad. One of the patrons say, you're going to jail for this.

[Now now, there's no need for that. This was just a horrible accident.]

"Uh...I cast magic missile on the customer closest to me."

>Roll me 10 or higher.

[Wait, you're making it worse.]

"The damage is done. We can't leave witnesses."

>Roll for your damage.


>Your magic missiles all land on the the sword drawn customer and kills him.

'I'm going to cleave the other customer.'

>Same roll as 42. Roll 10 or higher.

'Sweet...13 as for damage...9'

>You chop into his shoulder and split him in half. He's dead.


"Oh boy...I use my throwing dagger to attack the barmaid."

>Your dagger hits 42 in the back and she takes 5 damage.

"Thanks a lot..."


>The barmaid takes advantage and throws her dagger at 77. Take 10 damage. You're bleeding now.


"You deserved that. I feel bad after flirting with her, but I cast burning blast on the barmaid."

>The spell goes wrong and you set yourself on fire. Take 7 damage.


'For crying out loud, how hard is it to kill a barmaid? I stab at her.'
'A ONE?!'

>Wow this is not looking good. You tripped and fell on your sword. Take 13 damage.
>Since she doesn't have a dagger anymore, the barmaid punches DT instead. Take 4 damage.


>You guys are doing more damage to each other than the barmaid. Refresher, 77 is bleeding, 42 is on fire, and DT has her own sword stabbed through her while a barmaid is beating her up.

"77 please! Kill her!"

[I'll try. I use my throwing knife.]

>It hits her on the forehead killing her instantly.

'Whew I thought we were really going to die there.'

>You can hear the sounds of people coming into the bar.

"Wait, what?"

>You casted a burning blast. You think that's quiet?


It begins..

Yep, intentional
I can dig it!

Spike you dicl
>Axcolt Rose!’

I kinda wish you’d kept her mysterious, if only to have everyone confused who could be so insane.

They’d all blame CC
OH GOD a Cloudchaser and Upper Crust teamup/clash would be perfect
>Spike plays with loaded dice
>Just to watch them cry
>...So you're Axcolt Rose?

"Right mate."


"Yeah, that's the name."

>...you know we DO have axles here.


>I'm just saying, horsyfying other things makes sense, but this isn't like a not-horse-thing, we have axles on our carts. It makes as much sense for us as it does anyone else.


>It's not like I'm Pinkie Horsepie, we get that even if I'm not horsey named pink and pies still make sense.


>...you just-


>I'm so sorry.

>Cadence, lovebomb me.



"Sorry, but I'm sworn to never again use that power of love for nefarious purposes!"

>What nefarious purpose, exactly?

"Allowing you to possibly breed."


"That would be a disaster."

>...Chrysalis I thought we were cool.





>Damn it, Seven! I said sorry!
>Twilight in the background crying

>Lucky Strikes
"Steam Guage"


"Okay this is fun."


"Are we actually doing anything to it?'


"...you know what? Yeah, who cares? SHOOT BABY SHOOT!"


"Come on and blam! BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!"

'Hey you, what'cha gonna do? Hey you, what'cha gonna do!'


"Cock it back and watch it go! Just a steady stream of overflow!"

'HEY BIG THING, turn it up!'



>Everybody get up, we've gotta BLAM now!

"We've got the real guns blowing now!"

"Crystal Guard"

>Just for the record, I have absolutely no intention of taking over while the others are away.

"Just for the record, I super do not plan on letting the guy who literally put me in chains and made me walk in a line to work in mines rule over me again. I will stab you with a diamond cutting pickaxe."



>That... isn't necessary?



"That's wonderful."

>Good to hear it.

"We're cool."

>Cool it is.


>...Sooooo, do you want me to-

"Mop up the stuff people tossed in terror? Sure!"

>I was going to say leave.


>...mopping it is!

"Not such a bad guy after all."

>What're the odds we'd find the storage closet full of candy around here?

"Do not question it, enjoy it!"

>Ah'm just pointin' out this here seems really unlikely.

"Oh yes, but our poison detection spells aren't coming up with anything."

>Shame we can't use the comfy chairs.


>Oh well.

"I wonder how the others are doing?"

>Twi probably has the thing mostly fixed.

"Ha ha! That's the truth!"

>Wellll, let's just take some candy with us... in case we need it.

"Simply wonderful, darling! Simply wonderful!"
If they get through this entire story and nobody even notices they were there, I will die laughing.
"Where have you been anyway?"

>Getting laid.

"Har har, funny. Like someone would sleep with you."

>...Y-yeah, funny...

>Who else?

None had come.

>Who else!?

The endless waves of machines and foes begging her to join in their everlasting light had simply ceased. No more, not a one had crawled out from their holes in order to face their end at another wave of flame.

No more had come to threaten her, no more had come to attack her.

It hurt.

>Who else damn you!?

Not through lack of those who would attack her, not through those who rightfully hid lest they be burned by her flame, no. The pain she felt was one of emptiness, of loneliness.

She felt simply hollow.

>Who else! Fight me! Face me! All of you! Every one of you! I'll burn you all!

She felt as if she'd been scooped free of all that made up her innards.

>Face me!

Now she was left lost, in the depths of a place she did not understand, lost and looping back endlessly on places she'd trotted over time and time again, apparent every time she smelled the rotting stench of molten metal of her own making. She had burned her way through every path, yet always ended up in a well worn road time and time again.

>Fight me!

Then they had simply stopped coming.

They'd chosen to ignore her, to leave her be, to let her rant alone like a spoiled child.

It hurt.


It hurt that there was nothing else to take, no one else to find.

Nothing to distract her from the thoughts of those she loved, that she treasured, being killed while she lie useless.


Right this moment, in her mind, they all died a thousand deaths.

And she could do nothing.


Nothing but wait for someone else to try and kill her yet again.

>Please... please...

It was possible in that moment, she would not have been able to go on.

>Pl.. please...

She might've stayed there, broken and alone, had she not heard it.


Felt it.

>...thank you.

When the light glowed in her rapt eyes, she smiled.

>Thank you.
Dun dun dun

Another one bites the dust
...well that was dark
>No Shiny? Okay yeah, death take me now!
Glims plan is apparently just a nuke.

...she's the most brilliant villan we've ever had...
Can Applejack do weird magic plant shit? And if so, has she done any of it aside from Applecrazy.

And to that end has she told anyone else about Applecrazy?
Yes, but she's still very basic and raw
Yes, Beach Arc, but AUJ is who you look to if you want to see how high hee potential is.
>Ice Cream Vendor

>Ice cream here, getcher ice cream here!

From a humble cart on a street corner the lanky stallion plies his wares, a sweet refreshment on a hot day. From down the street bounds a filly, fresh out from school and ready to spend some leftover lunch money on a sweet treat.

“Hiya Mister!”

>Well if it ain’t my best customer, how’s your day, kiddo?

“Great mister! Ya got any of that bubblegum flavored stuff!”

>Ahh sorry kiddo, things have been tight lately so I had to skimp on some of the crazy flavors.

“Awww, no Apple Pie?”

>Nope, think the castle may have the monopoly on that stuff these days.

“Awww how about...?”

The two ponies keep speaking to one another, unaware of the fish hook slowly lowering into the cart and retrieving a bucket of ice cream and bringing it up onto the rooftop above before coming back down with a different bucket...

“-well crud mister, what flavors DO ya have?”

>Well there’s chocolate-

“Chocolate!? Why didn’t ya say so?! I’ll have two scoops!”

>Heh, alright kiddo...

The vendor with practiced ease lights up his horn and delves his scoop into his cart and plops two scoops of ice cream onto a waffle cone.

>That’ll be five bits.

“Kay kay but...mister how come the chocolate’s green?”

>Do what? Hey what gives?

“If that ain’t chocolate, what is it?”

>Uhh...lemme see, I’ll get ya a different cone on the house aft-BLECH! BROCCOLI!? WHO THE HECK PUT BROCCOLI ICE CREAM IN MY CART!?

‘MWAHAHA! It was I!’

“Hiya Ms. Crusty!”

‘I-don’t call me that! I’m the Scarlet Spectre, terror of Canterlot! Queenpin of Crime! And I just replaced your confection with CHAOS!’

>Oh for-lady get down here!

‘Haha, never shall I bend to the will of a mere service stallion! For I am-‘

She strikes a pose.

‘-The Scarlet Spec-‘



The mare flails about wildly waggling her foreleg with the aforementioned ice cream bucket attached before she trips and falls off the roof and into an alley.


‘...owwww...and ewwww I landed in a dumpster!’

“Ya need any help Ms. Crusty?”


KA-FLEE...yes with the bucket still on her hoof.

“She’s funny.”

>...so how about vanilla instead?

The logistics of broccoli ice cream are making my head hurt.
>Go my angels!


>Sidewinders FOR THE WIN!
>‘Haha, never shall I bend to the will of a mere service stallion

Yep, that's Upper Crust.

Also I passed by a story about AUJ introducing apple flavored ice cream to our Jack and saw a silly opportunity
>Can Applejack do weird magic plant shit?

We still don’t know what Sunsets radioactive plant does...
Seriously getting Cloudchaser vibes from this.

This is a VERY good thing.
>have two scoops!”
/tv/ has been summoned
Sssh! That thing is a currently unused Chekhov's gun!
>Not speculating on a chekov's gun

Then why is it there!?

>So do you think she's dead?


>...that... that is SO DARK.

"Why? We have a confirmed afterlife. A confirmed. Afterlife. We KNOW where we go when we die. We have visual, city destroying proof! It's not like we have to wonder 'am I going to just die when I die'? Nope! We get to go onto the next life!"

>What happens if that vaporizing thing kills our souls too?



She looks from side to side.


Nobody around, nobody in her office.


Nothing there but a plant.


With a bit of glee, she wiggles her nose, and makes her horn glow.

>Let's see what we can do.

Shaking with temptation, she takes out a couple seeds.


Her hooves come together, and she concentrates, and concentrates, and concentrates.


Sparks fly everywhere when her magic is unleashed, rainind down on the seeds.


With a POOF, the seeds suddenly transform.

>...oh no.

Into pears.



Just outside her door, watching her grandchild wail in sadness, Granny Smith set the pie she was carrying down, and decided now may not be the best time to broach the topic of family reunions

"...Ah' might've made a mistake.".

Ahhahahhhh, that's horrible. Anon no.
Where the fuck is Chitania and why am I so damn happy she isn't in ANY way involved in this arc?
>Where the fuck is Chitania

A random city.

>and why am I so damn happy she isn't in ANY way involved in this arc?

You don't like big action scenes.
Is it me or did everyone forget about AJ giving Chitania sun control? Or was that not at all relevant in the long run
>Is it me or did everyone forget about AJ giving Chitania sun control?

What do you mean? Everyone lost their utter shit about it and it remains a sticking point with her and Celly.

>Or was that not at all relevant in the long run
It is relevant, we're just stuck on perpetual night thanks to this arc. Odds are it'll factor in when Blue is ended.
AJ giving Chitty the Sun Magic was more about their personal relationship than the magic itself. Even if Chitty did something with it, it wouldn't be as important as the talk they had thanks to it. We haven't seen the effects because Chitty hasn't shown up in this arc.
I'm not so much happy she's not here.

I feel like if she was we would've had like 9 action scenes and been over because she'd have said "FUCK IT" and ripped up the entirety of the damn underground to crush Glimmer with because she does not fuck around. When a Chitty arc goes down it goes DOWN and you strap in motherfucker because nobody is stopping this thing.

"It's over, it's finally over... look! Dawn is finally breaki-"




"The sun! Please! The nightmare is over!"

Woomp! Shoomp! Woomp! Shoomp!


>I feel like if she was we would've had like 9 action scenes and been over because she'd have said "FUCK IT" and ripped up the entirety of the damn underground to crush Glimmer with because she does not fuck around. When a Chitty arc goes down it goes DOWN and you strap in motherfucker because nobody is stopping this thing.
Maybe that's the point
>Overeliance on big huge not-kaiju fights
>Exact same characters doing the exact same moves
>Little characters get shafted to spectator mode
>End result is a given and tension drops like a wet sponge
>>Overeliance on big huge not-kaiju fights
>>Exact same characters doing the exact same moves
>>Little characters get shafted to spectator mode
>>End result is a given and tension drops like a wet sponge

I felt like we got out of this mode during EVO though. Like, it had nothing that you just brought up as an example. We had no idea what the end result was going to be, none of us save the Tribbles, because even though it was set up we didn't expect Mecha Chitania and we sure as shit didn't expect what happened to the A-team.

That said >>31669105 is wrong we've had nine action scenes so far.
Yeah when the tense stuff is over Chitty HAS to fuck with celly.

>Look stop holding it up, ponies have to go to work.

"Wait for it."

>Wait for what!?

"Wait for ittttt..."








>...what the fuck was the point of that!?

"I gave ponies five more minutes of sleep."


"And tomorrow I will give them ten minutes less."

>...you monster...

"Wait till I tell you about my best plan, I call it 'daylight savings time'."

>going full villain
>>Overeliance on big huge not-kaiju fights

We’ve had three total Kaiju vs Kaiju fights in the entire series...
>Hiya Ms. Crusty!”
Her descent into evil suddenly makes a lot more sense
>Upper Crust

>Ok, are we good? Aaaand, yep it's going. Ok, these recordings are for the record in case the work that I'm doing leads me somewhere that I have to jog my memories. I mean I got no guarantee that the Changeling Queen...er, the smaller one won't be coming through my door to bop my brain and set me back to square one.

An exhalation.

>So! Welcome, me or whoever else could possibly be reading this to Upper Crust's Villain Profiles!

Sounds of one pony imitating a cheering crowd.

>The point of this is to learn from the mistakes of my pred-ugh I can never say that word right. Predec...Predeprocessors...baddies who came before me so I can better be a villain and serve the equation. If this is someone BESIDES me listening to this and wants to know about the equation, well too bad, I got it where no one could ever find it, not gonna risk someone wiping it all away. A note before we get to number one, I've started these notes AFTER the big event, the one who flipped the scales out of whack and it's been nothing but overcorrection ever since. Alright, without further ado...

Apparent pause for dramatic effect

>Profile One, Queen Chrysalis. The Big Bad Boss Bug Bitch herself, she's a tricky one because she's technically from before the event but...the aftermath kind of made her a big deal. I'm weird about adding her because I really can't get a bead on her, she apparently got hit hard by Discord and as a result got herself and her little minions locked up in the ballroom. Things get wonky after that, and honestly I'm certain that her villain status was dropped sometime before I actually thought at first...it's just...

Frustrated exhalation.

>She talks really fucking creepy, ok? She just does a lot of the time and it totally threw off my metrics and it's like Faustdamn, lady, you could offer to give me a puppy free of charge and I'd end up convinced that little mutt was gonna give me cancer. I'd like to tell her that sometime but uh...if I'm in her presence I've probably screwed up bad by that point. I mean clearly it's not just me with the amount of scraps her and her...kids? Siblings? Subjects-yeah, let's go with subjects, she and her subjects have gotten into up to and including with Princess Apple herself. So what do we learn from all this? Simple!

>Evil is not just talk, it is action, now while talk can cast a dubious light on that action it's better to let your talk match you walk, I am a villain, therefore everything I say and do should be steeped in it. Chrysalis and ones like her aren't villainous anymore and-hey-that's great, but someone has to pick up the slack, has to balance the scales, let the air out of the balloon before it pops. That's us, that's our work, doing Evil for Good. You got this, me, you totally got this.
Egh, not really feeling this bit, honestly went off a little half cocked on the idea of Upper Crust noting down what lesson can be learned from the other villains she wanted to take the mantle from. Need to workshop this, make it a bit more fleshed out, actually INTRODUCE her equation before making reference to it like some cryptic ponce...
A story to make up for my splatter of half-formed ideas
>Upper Crust
"Hayseed Turniptruck"

"Ya lift sixteen tons, whaddaya get, 'nother day older an' deeper in debt, Miz Fausty don't'cha call me 'cuz ah cain't go, ah owe mah soul to the comp'ny sto-"


"Well howdy do, Miz Upyer Crust!"

>It's UPPER CRUST-wait, no, it's The Scarlet Spectre thank you and THIS IS A ROBBERY!

"A robb'ry? Well ain't that a thing'n a half, who ya robbin'?"

>...y...you, stupid.

"Uhh, Miz Scarlet Crust?"


"What of mine could ya poss'bly wanna steal? Ain't even payday fer the winda warshin'."


"Y'all were just waitin' for any 'ole pony to come past this alley weren't'cha?"


"Want an apple? Ya can pretend ya done stole it off me."


"Here ya go."



"That lady's 'bout three boards shy of a barn-raisin' if Ah do say so mahself, good thing she's rich because shee-oot, nobody's marryin' that fer the brains...or the personality...or the butt."


"Sorry, Miz Upper Spectre! ..still flatter'n a day old cider."



>Applecore to the head, A SECOND VICTORY!

Ka-Flee Part Deux

"Ah gotta quit livin' in this loony town."
Just splattering random ideas is how we got half our best stories
Right. So.

Can anyone give me an in-depth rundown what Lavan, Twinklejinx/Hilda, RED and whatever OTHER mythological creatures there are from ancient times connected to them? I believe PommelAnon hinted at there being more, and the recent arc implies it has ties to BLUE... but I am not geting the whole picture here yet, nor what they are referencing.
>"Ya lift sixteen tons, whaddaya get, 'nother day older an' deeper in debt, Miz Fausty don't'cha call me 'cuz ah cain't go, ah owe mah soul to the comp'ny sto-"

Tennessee Ernie Ford. You have good taste. I like you.
>nobody's marryin' that fer the brains
Isn’t jetset her husband?

The regular one.
Oh hey, you’re in luck, the guy who came up with those guys just came back.

Pommel Anon? If you would?
Not him but the lowdown is that Red, Book(Hydia), Lavan and an unnamed fourth one all fought Faust at the dawn of time, lost, got broken up and sent tot the four corners of the world.
>She couldn’t stop Blue

Or did she...
>Upyer Crust!"

Subtle, I like it.
>Chitania Vs Spikezilka
>Chitty Vs Variolus
>Chitty Vs Mechachitty

But there’s also
>Chitty Vs Dragon at train
>and the recent arc implies it has ties to BLUE

Blue is just a chunk of Faust that bled out during the great battle that old red left behind/
I’ve lost most of my notes on them when my phone broke earlier this year but I can try to give what I remember though I believe I wrote a story where Discord laid it out for Pommel if an archive anon would be kind enough to find it.
I believe it was in the immediate aftermath or at least close to it of that bit where Chrysalis chased AJ around the castle in a rage. Be careful though, it’s the SECOND one about this, not the first which we rejected.

Anyway the cliffnotes go like this:
>There used to be a great big horrible monster made of nothingness that ate whatever sprung into being.
>It ended up biting off more than it could chew one day and ended up exploding from the inside in an equivalent to the Big Bang, officially bringing forth the universe as we know it.
>The Nothing was splattered all about and because it couldn’t just be Nothing now, its bits took form which-due to their nature-was an experience of constant pain for them.
>Four such bits were on Equus, forming the three monsters we know and the one we don’t, who hid themselves away until they encountered Faust who-being a pony-tried to befriend them.
>This went about as well as you’d expect but the creatures either tolerated her or just lacked the motivation to fight her until the day she made a huge mistake: She named them.
>This threw them into a rage which sent them on a rampage until Faust interceded and curbstomped them, killing Lavan, Hydia, and the unnamed fourth one but sending Squirk (or RED) into retreat where he hid away with his essence in the giant gem from Pommel’s adventure.
>Everything is good for a while but then the damn monster just keep coming back, wreaking havoc, getting defeated by either Faust or one of the other gods (a discrepancy from the lore in the BLUE saga but it can be easily reworked) until someone gets the bright idea to seal them away so that they can’t just come back.
>Hydia is in a book, Lavan thrown into space, and the other was in a plant
Oh and Twinklejinx was a court jester who yoinked the book from Starswirl the bearded and tries to make himself all powerful...it didn’t work out. (Don’t think I ever really wrote that out but that was the idea, he was a selfish envious prick who wanted a quick route to becoming superior to those around him, basically created as a far less benign version of what I’m doing with Upper Crust, a recurring actually 100% evil villain)
Wait that’s not?
He’s not?
Well...shit. Why the heck did we name an OC same as a canon dude? That’s confusing...
I just assumed it wasn’t him because
I mean fucking look at him
He’s a neoesq secret agent
Canon one if a fucking prissy snob
I thought it was a cover and we’d been pulling a ‘Oh you THOUGHT you knew this character BUUUUUT~’

I mean in a world where Diamond Tiara lugs around the BFG’z roided out cousin it didn’t seem that far fetched
Someone made a joke about Jetset and Upper Crust being those two guys from The Matrix, someone else ran with the joke.

We never explained if they’re the same guy.
Yeah, it’s just been a tongue in cheek never-say-it moment since it began.

But Upper Crust is married to A Jetset.
Alright how about this.
She's still married to *A* Jetset but that Jetset fucked off out of Canterlot not long after one of the many many catastrophes that hit the place to go live somewhere else but she refused and while they aren't like divorced they don't see each other much.

I am trying hard not to think too much about this as I'm sure it would get in the way of the funnies and the thing isn't established enough for feels yet.

>Boy I wish Cheerilee was here.

“So you could hug her in a final embrace as you watched the world crumble, knowing that regardless what you had was real, what you went through was real, and if the world ends on this day it would all be worth it, lovingly looking to each other instead of the chaos outside to the very last moment.”

>No, so we could fuck.


>What you said was just stupid.


>…so do you understand any of this?


>Oh. I don’t either.

“What a shame.”

>Yep, but hey, that’s why we have her around!

“Because otherwise you’d have to use those literally near innumerable years of your life for literally any sort of medical or applied science, utilizing your unique aging in order to study long beyond what most ponies could and be one of the most brilliant creatures on the planet?”

>Do I look like a nerd to you?

“You do not. You don’t look very smart at all.”

>Damn straight!




>I’d punch you if I didn’t think you’d put more gay images in my head.

“I haven’t ever gone in your head.”

Fizzle is not gay!

We avoided that trap damn it!
Gay images, the things that pop into Fizzle's head if he ever stops mentally repeating the phrase 'No Homo'

>…soooo, can threesomes actually work?

“I have graphs, designs, and no less than three maps! You want to play this game? Child I OWN THIS GAME!”


“…I just realized I have shown a variety of things that will get me killed if Twilight ever finds out.”

>You have.

“Ahem. Your requests?”

>I wanna go on the roller coaster.

“You’re too short.”


“…well played.”



“Shapeshifting into a pair of legs was the hardest thing ever.”


“This sucks.”
>Fizzle that's your nineteenth coffee in the past three hours...
"Can't sleep, the dreams are too gay."
>In my restless dreams
>I see that place
>The Gay Bathhouse
>Upper Crust

>Ok, robbery, part two, you got this, you so got this, you are the Queen of Crime, the Baroness of Bad the...Viscountess of Villainy-wow I can say Viscountess but I can't Predesessesses-blah! Focus, do evil for good do evil for good...aaaand...FREEZE!


>Uh oh.

"Evening ma'am, there something I can help you with? Directions to a costume party perhaps?"

>N...noooo...that's uh, that's a silly thing, this isn't for a costume party Officer.

"Oh...well now I dunno why you'd be running around at sunset looking like that if it wasn't a costume party. I mean, you COULD be trying to mug ponies but you'd have to be a grade-A idiot to do that with the Princesses and Robots and Changelings and even us guards about."


"...is it a sex thing-"


"Man...that is like the fifth weirdest thing I've seen today."


>Dat JJ cameo

>Shapeshifting into legs

...holy shit that's brilliant
>and even us guards
The absolute state of the Royal Guard.
Hey someone's gotta be a realist
“Sweet Note”

>…what in the fuck.

“Hey, sugar bean!”

>Are… are those my weights!?


>And you’re lifting them.

“I ain’t liftin’ ‘em all! I got limits you know!”

>That’s not the point!

“I’m sorry, did you not want me touching them?”

>Yes! I mean no! I mean that’s not what I’ve got a problem with!

“Is it the shaft?”


“So I can touch your shaft?”

>Fine, whatever, my point is-



“Nothin’. So, what’s the matter?”

>…you know what, nevermind. You get stronger, then we will battle.

“How’re ya’ gonna get food if ya’ break me?”

>…this is probably a military tactic of some kind.

“Ha ha!”
>Sweet Note
>Swole hooker
>Can... can you flex for me?

"That'll be extra.
>Meh, at least it'll probably top out


~Do you need good deeds done?~


>So how long until the robots just straight up replace us?

"I'd give it, ohhhh, a year?"

>...that's depressing.

"I'm already working my way in to ensure my continued employ."

>With... oil?

"You think I won't fuck a robot to keep my job?"


"You don't know Stab Slasher."

>...is your name really-

"It was either this or serial killer, and I wanted to be on the right side of the bars!"

>Huh, how you think everyone's doing?

"Well, Celestia has probably snapped out of it."




"Twilight for sure has gotten hold of the situation"




"And Dash has probably already flown around the whole place!




"All in all, good day!"


"Let me have this."



>Nooope, nothing in the Ambassador Cheat Sheet is helping me out here.

"DRAT! Okay, let's just think this through, there has to be a way to get inside of it's head!"

>Hmmm... what if we tried to challenge it to a card game?

"You idiot!"



"Lun-Ga-Oh is too complicated for a god being!"

>You didn't have to hit me.

"You like it when I do that!"

>That's for training! Different!

"Different spot maybe."

>I'll just go back to reading.



>Left here?


They took a left

>...Ok, another left?

"We took two lefts beforehand, dear, we'll only end up dou-"

Rarity was cut off when she heard something reverberate down the corridor, they both clammed up and stopped breathing as the sound of something disjointedly banging against the walls crescendo and then drifted away far ahead in the dark labyrinth.

>That's the same noise we heard last time.

"I know, three times before, just be thankful it hasn't gone galumping towards us directly."

They stayed perfectly still until the sound was gone for a minute at most.

>Listen, if we do get unlucky an' that thing comes fer us? What's our plan?

"I have no idea, pelt it with rocks and..."

>Tie it up?

"Really tight?"

>It kind worked with one of 'em, jess' gotta time it right.

"Yes, I'll make sure to hit them with as many rocks as I can magic at them..."

>You don't have anything else?

"I tried, Applejack! I really did!"

Applejack was taken aback by how sudden the outburst was

"I tried to be precise and cutting and effective but it just... didn't do enough."

>That was... a swarm of 'em, sugarcube, iffin it's jess' one of 'em, surely y'all can really kick it's behind

"Applejack, do you have anything else other than kicking things?"

>...Ah' can throw shit around, not as good as y'all of course but not as-


>Jess' play fer time an'-


That statement was met with Rarity's hoof cupping the downcast muttering chin of Applejack.

>... We ain't gonna win against it

Just as well these walls weren't ones to echo that well

"Ok, well, if push comes to shove, I think we'll want toooo-"


That one seemed to echo

"Yes, we can't win, so we'll play dirty"

>We'll cheat it

"Until we can find something to-"

>Do something...

Wordlessly, they resolved to walk on a little more.

>We have t' solve this


>Ah' dunno how we're gonna solve this, Rares

"I think... find the others, that's always the good plan"

>Yeah, yeah that'd work, but what if we can't? What if we suddenly stumble across the big bad seed at the end of this all by accident? What if it comes down to us?


>Ah' dunno what's gonna happen. If we had the others, we'd have way more heads to knock together, an' more magic an' more... everythin'

Rarity simply nodded.

>Us two... just us, split up from everypony else, no Twilight, no Pinkie, no Fluttershy, no Rainbow… iffin we’re not together, then we’re...


>...yeah, we're not the Elements of Harmony, not by ourselves, and jess’ us two against this?

"Applejack, there's no point for us to-"

>Jess what are we meant to do when we get there? What if we can't do anythin'? What if we're just standin' there slack jawed watchin' the world end and it's all our FAULT!

If her shout would echo, it was cut out by the sharp crack of her hoof landing hard on the floor beneath them, a small crack mark forming around the dull ground.

Rarity hesitated, Applejack had her eyes scrunched close and was grimacing as she stood there snorting in and out. She tentatively raised a hoof to her shoulder, before jerking back when AJ's eyes snapped open, there was a glint of hopelessness in them.



"You're right"

>...That's it?

"No, you're right that we can't be heroes just as us two, we can't perhaps save the world all by ourselves, we don't have... anything that Celestia or Chrysalis or Twilight or Fluttershy or 42 or Cadence or Shining Armor or- Oh you know what anyone of real importance or prowess."

She sighed sadly

"We have to at least try, we have to give..."


"Give everything we have, for the sake of everyone, no matter what it results in, futile effort or a glimmer of hope. I... When I came here, I thought we would all be saving the world like we used to, pony up and zap it with a rainbow or some variation thereof. But when It came about... I had nothing, no rainbow, no friends, no hope-"

>Rarity, sug'... what are ya sayin'?

"I'm saying, we can't make the best of a bad situation, Applejack, we can only give it our all. Even if that means-"


"No, do not try and convince me otherwise, Applejack, if it comes down to it it's all we have-

>... Ah'm not denyin' that, jess'... not yet, not until we know it's the only way

It was Applejack's hoof that hesitantly hovered close to Rarity now, but it halted itself, unsure of what to do.

"We'll just... try"

>Yeah, we'll try, even iffin it don't...

She didn't bother finishing that line, just focused on walking.

Time didn't seem to trickle down to the two nominally royal ponies as they trotted uneasily, cautiously down the hallway. They hadn't spoken since last time, all to better to keep they're ears strained for the subtle and dangerous noises that echoed throughout the maze.

>This place, jess' how big is it?

They turned into some dilapidated hallway, a story high at most, similar to all the others.

>How... big did they build this? Did they really need all these hallways?

Said hallway had at least five=don’t use symbols for numbers= other sections splitting off into their own paths

"I don't think they designed it this way, I have an awful hunch that that blue /thing/ messed with this place, and I don't know why"

>There's jess'... too much... the city, the whole darn city has another city beneath it an' it's all-


Applejack didn't say anything after that, her head was spinning, here they were, trudging down a bizarre and confusing pathway of different halls leading to nothing of importance, or what importance there was completely lost on them.

>...Tax returns


>All this construction work, and residency an' wages an' stipulations, it'd all have had paperwork behind it

"You mean-?"

>Ah' can't remember the number of times Ah' wrangled that darn infrastructure law and taxation stipulates to make sense of it, t' straighten it out so everypony could at least have a better shot at makin' sense of th' books... So we'd be able to know what was bein' done and iffin it needed help or needed... stoppin'

"Applejack, all that paperwork has to do with this because...?"

>Because- jess' look at how BIG this place is! It's not some secret lair, it's a city, an entire city grew up and down into this place an' around some big huge tower that had lil' mini towers all across Equestria an' was filled with who knows how many "important" ponies an'...

She slumped mid walk, defeated

>We knew jack-shit 'bout it. An' we never made sense of it, we can't make sense of it; that cart rode right past us.

"And it spawned something else we know... nothing about, something Sunset... made?"

>She didn't make that

"How can you be so sure"

>Cos when-

It hit here, there and then, that big empty hole that Sunset was in her past

>Even when she was tellin' me t' go screw mahself, she didn't seem like she'd intentionally make such a thing, she was...

"That, Applejack, was- Oh Celestia it, I don't know how long it's been"

>That's th' last Ah' ever saw her, an' she went an'... did all of this.

Silence aside from the unsteady clopping of hooves on "all of this"

"Applejack, we have made so many mistakes"

>Ah' know

"We didn't do our duties well enough"

>Ah' know

"We let so many terrible things pile up, we let it all pass, we didn't stop them, we didn't even acknowledge them"

>Ah' know

"We missed the mark with Sunset, we-no, I ruined EVERYTHING with Chitania"

>Rarity, y'all tried-

"No, Applejack, no"

She turned to Rarity, her expression despondent

"...You solved a problem, it wasn't as well as it ought to be, but it was a far sight better than what I caused. They even PRAISED me for that horrendous mess I made of Chitania in Canterlot! It was WRONG!”


"You're the one who kept hammering away at all that dreadful paperwork, and I had no excuse, I ran my own business so I could get around all the documents just as well but... I never applied myself, and when I did, it wasn't good enough, unlike you-"

>Rarity, please, listen to me. Ah' did try as hard as y'all said Ah' could, Ah' did look more, an' all it got me was... the exact same as you


>Not a single darn thing

"So even if you try your damnedest, we can't succeed"

>Ah' still dunno if Ah' did enough, Ah' still keep thinkin' there's something Ah' missed, somethin' Ah passed over or stupidly shot down.

"And Sunset and Chitania made so much work out of it"

>She said it was our fault we couldn't bother to help her, but... Ah' jess's don't know what else Ah' could've done, and that's cuttin' me up still.


>But she's right, it was mah fault. Ah' let her down, Ah' let everypony down

Silence hung again as they walked down the winding halls, not a soul in sight but them.

"Yet how did Sunset and Chitania manage all of this, how did they build this whole city and under-city up like this?"

>Ah' wish Ah' knew, an' she musta got some ponies who knew her personally, she had t' organize all this, Chitania can't be subtle, maybe she had... Ah' dunno what she had

"And they went along with it, and this is what happened"

>Y'all make it sound like it was their plan, it wasn't, Rarity, despite everythin' this couldn't have been it... Ah' wish Ah' could find out what'd happen if Spike didn't do everything he did. We could've done something, anything. But now it's jess' too late.

"We should've kept Spike on a tighter leash, should've found out about this place far sooner."

>Shoulda seen it comin', shoulda been a bit more brave. But we jess'...

"Let it go, and acted irresponsibly"

>...Ah' fucked it up

"Me too"

>We all fucked up

"And now it's the end of the world"

>… Did we even really save it the last time?

Their walking had slowed down as they talked, eyes downcast, faces grim and despondent, they didn't even realize the point where they had simply stopped walking wholesale.

“I feel, I feel like it’s not… not worth remembering, do our part so much and… It’s too much for me.

>Ah'... why did it have t' be like this?

Her voice was close to wavering now.

"It just had to be some horrible destructive deity-thing. It just... had to be something we can't beat..."
Her voice was wavering far more. They both felt the weight of the world setting down on them and it was painful.

>An'... we're it, right? We're all that's left?

Applejack's voice began to crack under the strain

>We fucked up everythin', an' we get to trot slowly an' unsurely to our doom af-after managin' to fuck everypony else over?

She had lifted her head, looking around, daring someone to answer her questions.

>Does anypony even know it was us? Does anypony even care?... Did that stupid fucking song spell it out enough for y'all or didja just sing along to the fancy tune and never realized what we had done?!

"Oh, Faust above... I am so sorry! I wanted to help but everything I did, everything I gave was for naught!"

Both of them simply clumped onto the ground, anger, frustration and stress coming out in lashes of verbal flagellation.

"It all rests on us and nopony will even remember what we did, hell, I don't even know if they blame us for all of it... they don't know, and they'll never know.”

>We fucked it up fer everybody, an’ we may never be able to tell them we’re sorry… can’t tell her Ah’m sorry.

>Ah’m not…

She whispered them out, but as if tugged from her tongue

>We’re not heroes… we can’t save them…

As she whispered that, Rarity echoed her

“…We aren’t the heroes they want…or need…”

Amidst that confession, Rarity spoke, softly

“Sweetie Belle”

Her name was spoken with such softness, as if it would shatter if spoken any louder

“Sweetie, I never got to say goodbye, I never-I… Not even see you since…I…”

She didn’t speak anymore, she just cried


Applejack didn’t say anything, all she could do was bare it as her families faces swam in her vision.

“I was…I was a terrible sister, even now I should’ve… I should’ve looked for you before I ran off to- to try and save the world… I wish I did better, Sweetie, I’m so sorry… I should’ve given you so much more-.”

Rarity’s sobs were clipped by a simple confession

“I just want us to be together, just once more…

>Ah’ shoulda found ya before anythin’ was done, shoulda made sure y’all were ok. The whole family, Ah’ can’t tell ‘em, an’ they’ll never know… Ah’-

She spoke flatly, words passing her lips without thinking

>Ah’ wish we could be together again

Aside from the sobs and choked mutters, they were silent. What hurt them the most was how if the whole world knew of their actions even now, they’d know it would all be because the two princesses had failed them, that the world would end with no one knowing why?

That hurt more than anything.

They just wanted to come to tell Them they were sorry.

Minutes passed, again those galumphing noises came and went, it was almost predictable, they didn’t seem to really acknowledge it, that fugue of despair let up only by virtue of wearing itself out than anything.




>Huh? Wha?

The two mares looked at each other, eyes red and faces wrought.

“Darling… are you alright?”

>No, Ah’m not… Ah’ mean Ah’m fine Ah’ jess’… What is it?

“I-I don’t know, Applejack, just… everything about this, this doesn’t feel right… all this… moping? I’m scared, and I don’t know why”

>Ah’ don’t know whatcha mean… we’re goin’ crazy?

“Yes? No? I don’t understand, how- How long have we been down here?”

>Must be… Must be getting’ sick of bein’ cooped up in here, this place is messin’ with us.

Rarity just shook her head at Applejack

“We have to go, Applejack, we can’t stay around.”

>Ah’ know… Ah’ know, but…

“Applejack don’t ask me any questions, you know I don’t know how to answer them.”

An edge of anxiousness was in Rarity’s voice.

>Ah’ dunno what good Ah’ can do here

“We can just try, dear… If it’s all we can do.”

>…Just try, just gotta

Shakily, they stood up again, their resolve was tested from the weight of everything bearing down on them.

Again, for what felt like hours before, they walked deeper into the labyrinth.

...boy that escalated quickly!
>ive=don’t use symbols for numbers=

What the fuck

Other than that I have to praise how subtly you moved on from 'we feel a little bad' to full on heart devastation. The last line seems to imply something is tapping into their brains or something, that makes sense, but I like how even if they are controlled I didn't think about it until they were straight up sobbing.

>At the start
“Okay wow they went sobbing too fast.”
>Last exchange.
>we’re goin’ crazy?
>“Yes? No? I don’t understand, how- How long have we been down here?”
Okay that's unsettling. We kinda forgot Glimglam doesn't HAVE to send robot-ponies at them. Maybe the Angels aren't actual physical things?
There wasn’t a light, so maybe the Angels aren’t involved, but something is nearby-the “gallumping”- and shit has gotten real
She has a point, AJ keeps trying really hard and shit just keeps getting worse, how much more does she need to do?
Honestly if she just leashes her fucking student and put a muzzle on Chitania like 99 percent of this threads problems are gone.
Couple questions.
1. Did we at some point have Centitrain living in a warehouse of some kind in like the outskirts of Canterlot? I seem to remember it living there.
2. It's still alive, isn't it?
3. If the warehouse exists is it just a single warehouse by itself or were there several?
This has nothing to do with current goings on, I just need to know for comedy reasons and I'm already archive delving to get caught up.
>1. Did we at some point have Centitrain living in a warehouse of some kind in like the outskirts of Canterlot? I seem to remember it living there.

Yes, Flash and Fizzle tried to break into that same wearhouse because it was where the other creatures from 12 Rescue were being stored. Bad idea.
>2. It's still alive, isn't it?
She lives!(It's a she.)
>3. If the warehouse exists is it just a single warehouse by itself or were there several?
Multiple, because again it was where they(TEMPORARILY) stored both the creatures from 12 rescue AND the scientists they captured, not having enough room in the prisons. Both have moved since then, but Centitrain remains whenever she's not driving someone.
Excellent, so without most of them having a use anymore it's likely they would be open to have one be bought by someone then? I'd assume the Princesses wouldn't be particularly attached to an empty warehouse.
I mean they used them for storage and obviously they need a place to keep Centitrain, but they'd probably rent out some.
Just need the one.
Really Crappy Villain Command Post, Ho!
>Villain command post

>Glimmer turns AJ and Rarity against them

>We didn't bring Centitrain


>...Soooo, uh...

"...we going to talk about this whole Sunset thing?"

>Which part?

"Who's fault this is?"

>Er... Either it's Pennydrop for blowing up Sunset, Spike's for going alone and setting these things off, Seven's for going to him instead of us, mine for making Seven distrust us because Ah' almost killed him that one time, mine because of Sunset not being captured, Fluttershy and Discord fightin' to mess up the portal and bring other me into the world, Cadence because she got all drunk and had to be saved by 42 and lost the portal, Chrysalis for picking Cadence over the orb, yours for exploding Chitania, mine for neglecting Sunset, Twilght's for neglecting Sunset, Shining Armor's for not locking her up when he had the chance, Dash for causing Sunset to distrust the changelings because she gave her work off to Eighteen, mine again for not convincing Sunset that the changelings weren't dangerous, Celestia for forcing Sunset off on me, mine again for pardoning Chitania so she could wreck Spike, Shining for letting her live when they fought, or Twilight for letting her out in the first place?


>So pretty much Pinkie is the only one not involved, yeah.


>Yay Pinkie!



>Oh poo on you, my only friend here is Two.


>I knew you'd fit my ass in there somehow.
It was a pretty tight squeeze...
>Upper Crust
"Upper Crust's Thoughts"

"Don't do it."

In the still of the Canterlotian night the figure of the masked mare slinked through alleyways and backstreets, her posture catlike, her hoofsteps muted, she paused behind the cover of trashbins and glaaared out at the patrolling Dayguards who patrolled by-not paying attention to the eyes that were in turn on her from above, regarding her with the same level of bored amusement a cat with a full belly would to a mouse attempting to steal its food. Still the Nightguards didn't bother with her and she remained rapt in her self-centered eccentricities as she stalked skulked her way down, down, and down again past the opulent mansions and boutiques that had once been her domain, no she had a new home, a place of business, the epicenter of her one mare crusade against the forces of good...

"Not yet."

With a canny cunning and practiced agility she slipped past guard stationed at entrance to the warehouse district, clambering over the walls not unlike a master thief of far Saddle Arabia or a Ninja of...well, even farther Neighpon. Yes, her skills at infiltration knew no equal-

'Hi there, Ms. Crust, still on your weird Cosplay Parkour kick?'



'You want me to give ya boost?'


'Alrighty then.'

After she finally managed to kick her voluptuous and not at all flat hindend over the wall, she landed with the grace of a-

"Wait you already said catlike uhhh..."



"I really need to think about proper descriptors AFTER I perfect my landing..."

'You ok, over there? You didn't bump your head again, did you?'

>No, now shush it, I'm being stealthy!

'Suuuure thing, Ms. Crust.'

"In retrospect, when it comes to being a master criminal sometimes you shouldn't go where everypony knows your naaaame...and they're always glad you-no, snap out of it! And DON'T DO IT YET."

Wound tight as a spring, she traipsed through the lines of warehouses, once home to artifacts, innovations, and mad scientists held in bondage-as in jailed, not the fun kind-it was now host to emergency rations, building materials, and sundry other sorts of things the city would need should it ever fall victim to whatever fate had in store.

"Unless, of course, fate's hunger is sated by moi. And you're almost there, you're a big girl, you can keep it up..."

Step by step she strode closer to her goal: A single door with a light shining over it. Near trembling, she lit up her horn with magic and retrieved a keyring from within her bombastic scarlet dress slipped the single key upon it into the lock.



She stepped into the warehouse, locking the door behind her as she flicked on the lights.



Shrugging off her costume the Society Mare-turned villainess pranced about the mostly empty warehouse like a filly on her birthday. Bundling up her dress, hat, and mask with her magic she made her way swiftly up the metal staircase to the warehouse's office, her new home. It was a modest living space, all things considered, but she'd finagled her way into getting the proper necessities and while it was a tad obnoxious to climb down the stairs to use the bathroom this was the price she paid for Equestria's safety.

"Speaking of..."

Grinning ear to ear and depositing her costume on a desk sitting before the window looking out onto the bare warehouse floor (upon which sat a sewing machine to mend said costume's many cuts), she slipped towards a pair of filing cabinets pressed against the far wall furtively looking about for any sign that someone was watching her as she lit up her horn and slid what was behind it out...

The Whiteboard upon which was inscribed The Equation.

It was a beauty to behold, a masterwork of mathematics and theoretical sciences heretofore never seen upon Faust's Green Equus. She assumed, of course it was the only one of its kind, an Equation to quantify the balance between good and evil and the steps necessary to maintain the balance. She had thrown money at the finest minds in all of Equestria that didn't have the title of Princess and...well mostly they'd scoffed at her or laughed but EVENTUALLY she managed to find someone, a young ambitious stallion who'd agreed to do the work if he was paid by the hour.

There were many hours.

3/4 (Whoops)
But-after many hours and many bits-he'd managed to crack the code and gave it to her and it was like all of life's questions had been answered. All the heartache, all the misery, everything she and her fellow Equestrians had gone through finally had a cause that she could see and quantify and try to fix. Now of course, to someone without her keen eye it was all just squiggles and arbitrary numbers assigned to arbitrary actions but Crust was able to make the connections nobody else could, even more than the colt who had slaved over it between his lengthy meal breaks. She had scoffed at his protests that the little drawing of Discord was just some 'Doodle'. No, it was indicative of Chaos' status as an unpredictable variable, a revelation that had caused the fool to ask for his money, clearly annoyed that Upper Crust knew more of his own work than he did.

It had been months since that fateful day, the day that she saw fate for what it was, a great scale upon which Good and Evil were required to be in balance, and that these past few years something had almost certainly turned the scale into a seesaw of ups and downs, highs and lows each more destructive than the last. That day she had seen her mission and gone about preparations, that day she left behind the life of a socialite to save the world.

>The Day I Decided To Do Evil In The Name Of Good!


>HEY! I'M BEING REFLECTIVE OVER HERE...damn neighbors...

Shaking off her anger, Upper Crust returned The Equation to its hiding place and slipped into her bed, a smile on her face as she turned out the lights.

She would get back to her work in the morning.


Gotta work on properly counting my characters again...
Night thread
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Sorry it's taking so long, might take a bit longer, I'm pretty unhinged at the moment and even when I get moments to work I'm not all there. That being said, I'm giving you guys this to tide you over! First pic of the new year!


Huh, Joe is a werewolf, who knew.
This is a good Saturday!
Cyborg flash!YYESSSS
Don't want you gettingmogershadowed, this was pretty good

What a way to start the new year....

I can feel the despair, weariness and anger!
I like how is expression is kind of saying "are you serious"
Nice, both of you are very nice.

Is the giant gem on his chest his power source?
Not a gem, just a shaped metal plate, can't really tell without any colors and I haven't figured out how to texture metal for line art without having to fill stuff in.
Love it!
>She had scoffed at his protests that the little drawing of Discord was just some 'Doodle'. No, it was indicative of Chaos' status as an unpredictable variable,

10 bucks says that's actually Discord.

>Wait for it...


>Waiiiiit for iiiiittt...







~Hey! How's everyone doing in here-~






>What did you do!?

~I didn't do anything!~


>Did you scare the baby!?

~N-no! NO! I just walked in-~

>Oh great, you scared the baby! Look at her! Look at how upset you made her!




>Out baby scarer!



>...Bump it.



>Annnd, Twilight crossed off the list... Shining next.

She’s evil.

Let’s not dance around it.
>This is going to be so funny-


>...I must teach her better.
Thanks for the feedback guys this is the most I've wrote in aaaages and it feels so good to have inspiration again.

Who can say? Discord works in mysterious ways...he's...he's still alive, right? I'm still playing catch up in the archives.

I'm around after AJ tells Shiny about Chitty now having the power to CONTROL THE SUN.
>he's still alive, right? I


>>There used to be a great big horrible monster made of nothingness that ate whatever sprung into being.

You're probably already at this point but we kinda expanded on this that 'nothing' didn't mean inky black daarrrkkkknnessss, there was a bunch of shit in there, it just had no set form or reasoning or meaning or names. It was literally a universe without 'rule's.
I've read past it, I can easily just handwave it as RED (the character that originally revealed The Nothing...I need a better name for that, it's so cliche) remembering things differently than Lavan on account of him being a bit more primal than his brother.
It's possible that's just how Red saw it, unconcerned with the phsyical plain, and Lavan who's actually interested in things and curious about them realized that there was stuff in there, it just was 'nothing' because it wasn't 'a thing'.

Might be a nice way to play with how the various 'gods' perceived stuff, like how does Hydia, who is a story book, see everything?
Red IS a mental thing, like he seems more a creature of mind and psychic abilities, so it makes sense that when he looked into a vast wasteland of nothing truly conscious he literally wouldn't see anything, it would just show up a blank spot. Lavan is physical, he has metly gooey bits and fire, so he'll see the rocks and fire and shit. Maybe plant thing will see things like fauna or something.
I should probably note that they did all have physical forms at one point.

RED was some kind of leviathan that kept to the oceans.

Lavan was as we saw him when he tried to distract the Speyeder, I THINK I yoinked some art of what he'd look like fully but I'd have to look around the internet to see if it was still here.

Hydia I had a concept for but it felt a bit too grimdark to me so let's just say she was...goopy. The book is her prison which she wants to stay in because being in the physical realm hurts these guys.

And the final one was just described as a blur that went about inflicting agony and illness wherever it went, in short s-she's fast. She's trapped in a plant that for the life of me I can't remember if it was meant to be a Crabnasty reference or a Florian reference but since every single one of them was a G1 Villain I took the Lovecraft hammer to it's probably the former.
Found the bastard.
The gang is gathered playing OnO
>The townsfolk bursts in seeing the massacre inside saying, what in the world happened here?

'Spike, do you just hate us?'

>You're the ones killing innocent people and causing a commotion. I'm just giving you what's likely to happen.


>Wonton murder is bound to attract somebody. Sounds of bursting fire doesn't help.

[Wait, can I use deception and bluff my way out?]

>You can try.

[I tell them that we're the new owners of the tavern. The previous owner had buyer's remorse and tried to get the deed back. Things fell apart.]

>That's a pretty tough bluff. Give me a 16 or higher.



>One of the townsfolk says, that's really unfortunate. If you're the owner who are these two then?

[Uh the one in armor is the tavern bouncer and the diamond dog wizard is our entertainer.]

>...roll me 12 or higher.


>Your bouncer looks more like a noble than your normal brute.

'Uh times are hard for my house.'

>and a diamond dog wizard? Really? What kind of tricks can you do?

"I cast Prestidigitation to create some sparks in my paw."

>The crowd oohs and ahhs.

[Whew, so is everything good?]



>...If you can show us the deed.


"Wait, I think I have this. I cast prestidigitation to make a fake deed."

>So you're essentially trying to use deception too?


>12 or higher.


>Okay everything looks good. Sorry that the previous owners were assholes.

'Wait, don't just leave. We're hurt. Can somepony give a potion or something??'

>Roll 6 or higher. These people care so-

'*sighs* 4.'

>You're on your own. They leave.


[They left us the bodies to clean up too.]

'What should we do now?'

[Adventuring hasn't been working out and I guess we own this tavern now...maybe we should run it?]


"...actually that sounds like a great idea."

'Eh why not?'

>...wait you're serious?
Everything went way too much better than expected
>Start to go on adventure to end dark lord
>End up running a tavern

You know this likely happens a LOT in these settings.
Not everyone can save the world
>Sweet Note




‘What the fuck is going on in here?’


‘I hear something.’


‘That. I hear that.’

>Uh… uhhhh-

‘You’d better not be doing what I think you’re doing!’

>W-we’re not!


‘That sounds like what I think it is!’

>It ain’t!


‘That’s it, I’m coming in-‘





>You can come in now, I just wanted to warn you! Join in! You knnnnoooww we want it!

‘…friggen weirdos.

Stomping down the hall grows quiet


Sweet Note finally reaches down and lifts the weight off of Sunset’s neck.


“I-I thought I was going to die.”

>Ya’ll almost brought her in you know. Then she would’a “Helped.

“…no yeah you’re right you made the correct choice, good job.”


“So less weight this time and think up better excuses.”


>So… we have the army gathered.


>But we can’t actually mobilize them.


>EVEN THOUGH our Queen is possibly in deadly danger and would VERY MUCH like us to save her with an army, most likely.

“Uh huh.”

>But we can’t.



“Queen’s orders.”

>She said not to move even if she’s in explicit danger.

“Unless she says otherwise.”

>And Forty Two-

“Can speak for her, but she’s gone too with no orders to persue.”

>And we have-

“Nobody else high enough to order it.”

>Not even-

“No, not even edgelord.”

>…This system is a little fucked when you think about it.

“As a changeling who is still alive, I disagree.”
Simple! Find the two changelings with numbers on either side of Forty-Two and have them Facepunch. The winner is the interim Supreme Comman-

Wait that'd mean 41 would have a chance of being in charge. NEVERMIND
>He doesn’t know Thorax is secretly 43.

You’ll only set off the gay deer transformation!
...you gotta be shittin' me.
I am, I made that shit up.

Which means it’s canon now.

>I cannot tell if our mother made very foolish investments into these blasted things…

He winced when he saw another fireball erupt from where his flanking ship had been a mere moment ago.

>Or was foolish not to buy more.

“We’re at least holding it in place.”

The creature before them almost lazily mocked them as it reached up and swatted another ship from the sky, never once touching the actual metal before rendering it a fireball of destruction.

>Are we?

“Well, what would you have us do? Tell the others to run while you valiantly hold it off for, what, let’s count here. One… two… three-“

She stopped when red flashed across the screen.

“Three whole seconds of fleeing, and that’s assuming it won’t simply chase them down.”

>…we should be able to do more to it.

“Then ram it heroically so at least the rest of the world can say we went out as wild barbarians like the days of old. Not that it’ll help as… a certain example showed.”

The fiery wreckage of the Saddle Arabian’s ship still glowed dimly beneath the things light.

>…what can I do?

He looked to her, desperately needing anything at all to keep going.


All she gave him were blunt words and a scoff.

“And for the love of the Great Hawk, tell the fucking captains to at least try to dodge the damn thing.”

He knew it wouldn’t be enough, she knew that too.

>You can leave, if you want. All of us combined, that’s a lot of seconds to make it clear. The world could use a Queen.

She wasn’t going to leave, and he knew that too.

“ALL SHIPS! AIM FOR THE EYES OR SOMETHING! For fucks sake it’s obviously not working TRY SOMETHING NEW!”

They wouldn’t leave their post.

>And stop screaming, we’re not going to die like chicks!

Until the very end.
Could you imagine though? 41, diet punchbug, possible daughter of Titania (never confirmed), being so goddamned awful at fighting she actively makes her opponent turn into a higher being with her punches.
>Titania (never confirmed),

Actually it was confirmed years ago, during the field trip. Chitania confirmed it
Oh no shit? Must have slipped my mind.

Man that bitch has GOT to be rolling in her grave, at least 13 went and got powerful in a DIFFERENT way, this little dope couldn't pack a lunch much less a punch.
She’s not a terrible fighter, she’s just not outstanding.

It’s Titty’s fault for not teaching her the corpse jeager.
>Titania implied she would only need a few Queen corpses in order to become powerful enough to rule the world
>She died JUST before the great Queen extinction

If she’d lived a little longer, she would be strong enough to punch Blue in the face.
Didn't we agree she sucked because she was always tie'ing with Suckerpunch in their fights and the alternative was Suckerpunch was strong?
We agreed she and SP started at the bottom, but constant fights with each other eventually elevated them to decent, she put in an okay show at Partyland, Cordyceps and Variolus. Like, at least above average.

She never did anything GREAT but she started at “literally, proveably the weakest soldier class” to “you know what not 42 but she’s not terrible”. She couldn’t taken 007 in a fight but she could take a higher infiltrater.

Character development!

>How many ships do we have left?



“Saddle Arabians are worse.”


“Less numbers, this shit isn’t complicated.”

>How did this happen!?

“Yeah, us under the Griffons? This is embarrassing.”


“It should be.”

>Is anyone even coming for reinforcements!?

“Well, maybe.”

>What do you mean maybe!?

That’s when they heard it.

>…is… is that…


>…is that a dhrupad rendition to “here comes the boom”?

“…how the fuck do you-“

That’s when they heard the next part, as little sense as it made.


If nothing else, a rather sizable army had joined in.

>…I think I liked it better when we were going to die.

Look on the upside, Pommy, there's an excellent chance they'll all die horribly!
They’re almost certainly going to charge the thing.

>…why do you think Twenty Nine won’t sleep with me?


>I mean I offered.


>Is it something with my fin? My chitin? My… you know.


>About here? So what you’re saying is, everything past this point is okay? It’s my face, isn’t it?


>I’m sorry for bringing attention to my ugly face! I just want to be loved!





Before she could recover, the other changeling scurried onto the hoverbike and took it into the air.

>That was called acting, my friend!

“Oh thank hivemind, so you don’t want to sleep with Twenty Nine.”

Instead of responding, he just smiled, and pushed the throttle.


Her cries vanished into the night.
I wonder what he’ll think when he finds out...

>Cadence, I’m worried that you’re acting a little… off?

“Noooo. I’m showing the world the power of LOVE!”

>Right, love, but also attack? Defense? Like love is fine for power, but then you have to use it, right?



“Just love.”


“We’re gonna love it really hard.”










Even crazy, she remains.

Something was off.

There was still screaming, there was still fear, there was still confusion, even from the ones who had willing charged and cast away the forms hidden within those strange things of metal in the air, there was still terror that needs soothing and chaos within the heart of those who beat beneath Mother’s light. In time, they could be calmed, they could be made to feel the warmth of caring and the knowledge they had become whole once more, yet it was always the same.

The touch would bring them to the light, and there would be fear.

Each time had become more sluggish than the one before it, each time the screams of terror made the massive body pause in reflection, needing to spend extra time to ensure the wails did not overcome the vast number that kept growing. The virus that was chaos threatened to spread every time and had to be dealt with every single time.

Something was off.

Was this the last ditch effort of the forces spawned long ago?

Was this the sickness of chaos seeped into their very souls?

Neither held truth, neither seemed like a falsehood.

Something was off.

Perhaps, when all were underneath the shining light of mother, could the truth finally be found.

If it would take a thousand years, that time would come.
>blue is getting infected with crazy

So little by little, they’re slowing her down because she’s taking time to decease their crazy?

Well, let’s hope she doesn’t decide to speed up...
>No no, it's fine, I'm sure WWHHYYYYYYYYYYYY
I'd be down with this thing getting into a dust up with Blue.
>Uhhhh... what the fuck are you, exactly?
>dhrupad r

You went WAYYYYYY too far for this joke, and I'm proud of you.
>I should probably note that they did all have physical forms at one point.

Wouldn't RED's physical form have come AFTER the nothing became something?
>wants to get swole
>No help from swolebug
The fool
Yeah that’s what I meant, he was part of the nothing, then became something, got curbstomped by Faust, then hid himself away in the great big gem.
They wanna get buff, not benchpress a school
>Upper Crust



>Hello, Canterlot! Time for another day of villainy! But first, prep time!


Dancing to music only she hears, the mare gets to work.

>Step 1! Repairing the Costume!

She runs her red dress through the sewing machine, whistling enthusiastically until the machine spits forth a...well nopony had accused her of being a seamstress but she’s sure it’ll work.

>Step 2! Check on the the Equation.

She yanks the whiteboard out from behind her filing cabinets and gives it a good once over.

>Everything still checks out. Step 3!

Knock knock knock!

>Get the paper!

Springing down the steps like a Changeling after a visit by the Red Spirit, she opens the door to her warehouse lair where a copy of the Hive Gazette is waiting. She picks it up and hops her way back up to her makeshift apartment, plopping it on her desk as she dons her costume and looks at herself in the mirror.

>Step 4! Self-Admiration! Look at you, me! You’re the Villain Equestria needs AND deserves! You got this! Evil for Good! This outfit makes you look STUNNING!






>Stupid transport bug...nope! She doesn’t get to ruin my day! Because Step Five! Read the Hive Gazette and brainstorm ways to counter all the Good in the world!


>...over breakfast at Sugarcube Corner’

Grabbing the Gazette between her teeth, she races down the stairs and out of the warehouse.

It’s gonna be a great day.
Night Thread
10 bucks that's Centittrains paper
>Upper Crust scurries over to Centitrains’ home every morning before she wakes up and yoinks her paper

That’s some brass balls right there
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the liiiight side of life~

Kinda sad I already used that song during the Plushie invasion, it would’ve worked nicely accompanying Crust’s various acts of evil
>Every morning, Centitrain wakes up, looks out her window, and sighs.
>She doesn't mind the paper being stolen, she can't even read it.
>She just wishes she'd say hi...

>You think I could convince you to read some dragon minds for me?

"Sure, give me sixteen bits and your eternal service."

>...why did you need sixteen bits and that.

"I can haggle down."

>Look, I'm just trying to see if you know, dragon stuff is... normal.

"It's not, you're a freak, A FREAK."


"No but seriously, who the fuck cares? You think I follow in the hoofsteps of every changeling Queen? No, I rise above them, and prove I'm the Greatest Queen Who Ever Lived, all capital. Be the greatest dragon who ever lived."



>Uh... thanks?

"Don't thank me, clean out my bathtub. Things went... awry last night."

>I agreed to nothing.

"Who said I needed you to agree?"


>Centitrain eventually joins her
>Not for any real reason, she's just bored.
>Nobody wants to ride a giant electric centipede to work.
~Chrysalis no!~

"I wasn't gonna!"



>So, have you gotten laid yet?

“Have you?”


“And yes! I have! So SUCK IT AUNTIE!”

>Oh great! The last visage of our race that hasn’t tried to hit on me and it’s broken now! Thanks a lot!



“…wait did that mean mom did?... what do I do with this information?”
Imagine if she'd actually helped.

>EVO happens
>Spike breaks in
>Takes aim
>Sunset turns around, massive muscles rippling.
>Finishes her protein shake.
~You ever gotten your pelvis broke by a horse, kid?~

>You feel like we're missing anything?








>I knew it!

"Good call!"

>Damn right!

"Phew, we almost lost out on thousands of bits!"

>Our future is saved!

A loud, deeeeeep yawn filled the mostly empty room, and two long hooves reached up and stretched as farrrr as they would go.


Tired, grumbling to himself and scratching whatever corner he could reach, a simple guard rolls from his bed, does his basic jumping jacks to get himself pumped, hits the bathroom, takes his shower, makes his meal, and after a quick brush of the teeth and a smile to the best guard in the world, he is ready to fact the day!

>Hello, Equestria! I'm here to...

Two steps outside, and there's nothing but pitch black darkness all around.


With a huff, he returns to bed.
Wait, wasn't he with the others?
I didn't see him with the others before, but if he is, NC obviously.

I just couldn't resist.
>Sunset and the crew arrive at the battle sight, and it's as bad as they expected.
>Nevertheless, Sunset thinks she can recontain it if she can just figure out the calculations to destabilize it.
>She tells everyone to sit down, stay quiet, and let her work. They ask why they brought Flash, but she doesn't answer.
>Nor does she realize he's left the ship before it's too late.
>Pinkie has cookies
>Pommel wishes he was home for the holiday, because he's not seeing the next one.
>Rarity and Applejack find the commissary and everything is fine.
>Spitfire taunts 42.
>42 wishes 18 would stop being Cadence for a minute
>Pinkie and Dash talk about Shining and Twi
>Idris, Gwen, Siegfried, Cheese and Delight all have a funny moment.
>77 wonders why they can't send in the peacetrotters, turns out when robots look at the thing they fry. He's not happy about that.
>Rekulk and Sebjek relize that not preparing for war was a bad idea.
>The minotuars ar freaking and decide to set up the BIG bomb
>Blueblood says NO to Arana a lot
>A Saddle Arabian can't take it anymore and drives his ship right into Blue
>Pommel and 77 realize the're useless
>Chrysalis realizes she's running low on love
>The guards think they're dumb
>Zephyrious and a diamond dog muse about the frailty of life
>Fluttershy's chaos is effective but terrifying
>Flash, unafraid of dying, managed to slip past Blue and get underground, and after breaking everything in his path, living or not, he hacks into the security systems and finds. HER.
>He knows he's dying and he's taking Twilight with him.
>Spike gets no porn
>Fawntaine is somehow not liable for any of this
>AUJ and FLuttershy debate if anyone needs therapy
>Celestia is a little crazy
>Harry cannot cheer up anyone
>Pinkie shouldn't have tried to hide her fart
>Velvet is despondant no grandbebah
>Pinkie and Dash notice things are getting brighter
>Chrysalis's previous cocky attitude is beginning to show cracks
>Pommel's crew are bad at plans
>18 and Tiempo fundamentally disagree
>Fawntain's shareholders are wondering why Pennydrop hasn't fought yet, and are demanding she get in the game even if it's futile to make use of their investment
>But the same mysterious figure Pennydrop was talking to before appears and calms them all by implying that Pennydrop will break soon enough, but it won't matter. She won't even be able to make the thing notice her.
>Which mean that either the princesses will stop it and nothing matters, or the world will be left powerless and looking for someone to make them powerful. Hence, them.
>He leaves, and they realize they are so fucked.
>Glimmer sees someone is growing closer, and that won't do. She decides she has to do her last ditch effort, and summons others to her call.
>Then, she gives them raw light, and sends them away.
>The Angels have come.

Woo! Made it!

As always, if I missed something, and you didn't, stop showing off you monster.
As always, thank you.
>Upper Crust



>This is a Rob-uh oh...

"HELLO PONYFRIEND! Pleased to being seeing a such enthusiasm upon my merchant's travels!"

>E-eep...uh-no no no-ahem! This is a Robbery!

"Rubbery? No, Rekulk's suit is very much a metal."

>No rubbery, ROBBERY!

"What is robbery? Is like trade?"

>Yeaaah...let's go with that. It's like a trade but you gimme your stuff and I give you nothing!

"...that sounds more like gift than trade."

>Gifts usually are a surprise for the person getting the gift, robberies are like a surprise for the person GIVING the gift! Eh? Ehhh?

"Rekulk not think of that! Hmm...Rekulk is unsure of this robbery though, it sound like Pony was wanting to steal a thing but was trying to scare me into giving."

>Me? Nooooo, that'd be silly, that's a silly thing you just said!

"Hmm...Rekulk knows what it is to steal, happened muchly with scraps back in cave before Zhetri Tuuhl and Head of Metal came, before we Morlocks shared and shared alike."


"What is Dirtyhippies?"

>It's a kind of face cream, but uh how'd you guys deal with people stealing stuff before those guys you mentioned came around?

"Ate them."

>...y'know what I feel like this exchange of knowledge was gift enough so I'm just gonna go back in my alley, kay? Kay.

"Farewell pony, perhaps Rekulk shall Robbery you one day!"

>Please don't!
>"Ate them."

>Well that doesn't sound so bad, it has been a while-WAAIIIIT A MINUTE


Rapt eyes stared through the gap of the open door as the last visages of the light of her Angels faded away, gone off to their mission to serve their Light. Without a word they had known the will that all share, the idea in one head that fills so many. They would seek out the most powerful among those who walked these now hallowed halls, the one who had grown too close, and with their hearts full of love they would bring them to the light.

Whether they chose to or not.

"Simply wonderful."

It would all be over soon.

The armies were falling.

The crack was widening.

The spell was weakening.

Little would stand in the way of the almighty once the land was graced with Mother's light, with the power that had been granted to any who had been willing to grasp it, and those who foolishly chose to fight.

There was no hatred for those souls in her heart. She too had once fought, once thought herself a leader who stood upon all, once thought that merely taking cutie marks from her followers would make them all equal, make them all the same.

How ignorant she had been.

This, what lie before her, was true equality. One body, one mind, one soul that held nothing but love for all of them, their powers shared only to bring others into that light, no one word to command or rule over others. There would be no leaders, there would be no fighting, there would be none left alone, left behind. No more should one so close be taken away, no more should any wonder if anyone in the world would truly understand. No more.

In the orb before her lied the answers to all of those problems, and so many more. Pain, suffering, ageing, death, all things of the past. All things that would be forgotten, in the Light.

Only then, when all were together, would she join them.

"It hurts..."

She would long for them, wish with all her heart to be a part of them, only when she was truly with them would she be whole once more, yet she could not walk into that light.

Not yet.


She must be out here, must bring them into the light, must not leave a single soul alone. No one would deserve that fate. No one would deserve to feel so abandoned, so lost, so forgotten as the rest of the world moved onto something grander and out of their reach, no.

She would bring every single one of them, kicking or screaming if she must, into the light, so all could finally see the truth she had seen, feel the love she had felt, know what she had realized.

She was patient.

She would simply bide her time.

They would fall, even the strongest princess or weakest pony would fall to her, for who could stand against the truth?

Not them.

Not her.



Her hoof laid upon the cool black surface, but she dare not look inside the crack once more. Not even to glimpse the utter unspeakable majesty that lies within. Not even just to see it, one last time.


She knew she would never be able to look away again.

"Soon we'll be together again. Soon we will, all of you. Do not worry, don't wait for me... I'll be there soon."

There was still so much to do.

"Soon, I will-"

"I'm telling you, we're lost!"

"I have firmly refuted that point by now, we can't be lost if we were never found in the first place!"

For starters, getting her heart beating again.

"Look, we just need to find an exit, we can't-"

The words stopped.

The flying pony stopped.

The pony on her back stopped.

The heart of the one inside the room stopped.


The whole world and all reality within it seemed to stop as three sets of eyes met each other, finding themselves speechless and breathless when it slowly sank in what had happened. None of them could process it, this event so random and so nonsensical it defied logic.

On one side, the orb that held the source of all their problems, all their woes.

On the other side of the door foolishly left open, two saviors of the world.

In the middle, a pony who slowly began to smile.

"...why, hello there-"

Lavender eyes had picked the worst time to blink. By the time they had opened again, all she could see was blue.

... did you just throw Dash and Pinkie into the final boss room?

This feels mean
but I unironically love it
KKA you magnificent bastard
>The final battle is Dash Vs Glimmer

This is so cruel but at the same time so unlikely and unexpected I can't help but love the fuck out of it.

Dash, COMPLETELY ACCIDENTALLY, stumbles into the final boss room. This is like Twilight walking in on NMM when she first arrived back on earth.
"Ha ha! Now's our time to shine-"



"I'm an overpowered mary sue on the level of a fucking alicorn, how did you think this was going to end?

Let's be real here, she's fucked.
Going full Breath Of the Wild, I see.

Dash would just go straight to Calamity Glimmer
Speed Strats

>Sooo, you want to read my literature?


>Ok, what in the world are you doing?

"Aha, dog of watches, behold, Vekir is a fisherlock!"

>A Fisherlock, huh?

"Indeed, Vekir just-"




"-to get-"



>Ok, I feel like there are steps missing in your thought process so lemme spin it to you quick. One, we're not near the river.

"And yet there is fish!"

>Two, that is not a real fish.

"But it shines like one!"

>And three, and follow me here, to fish, one must be on the OTHER SIDE OF THE LINE!


>Ya think?

'Ding dong, that's time, shortstuff, wanna try and fish some more? That'll be five bits for another fifteen...minutes...hiiiii.'

>The hell are you?


'I think the word you're looking for is businessmare.'

>Potayto potahto. How much did you have her sink into this?

'What time is it?'

>Half past five.

'About thirty bits.'

>Ooookay, nope, no ma'am, you're giving that money back.

"Yeah, suppose I could, or perhaps you could...FETCH!"


>...You gotta be off your rocker if you think I'm gonna fall for tha-


>Vekir, that's a distrac-



>Oh for...

"Quickly, dog of watches, it must not escape!"

>...that bone better be real or that red-wearing witch is gonna get it.
>That subversion with Vekir

Wait, does this mean Vekir was being used as the lure?
Nah nah, Upper Crust convinced Vekir that she was 'Fishing' by chasing around a little plastic fish on a string and was charging her five bits for every fifteen minutes.

Basically you ever waggle a string in front of a cat? That.
That reminds me.

>Should I juggle at it?

"I'm just trying to figure out why you haven't already."

>I didn't think it wanted to see me playing with the balls.

"If it doesn't, that's not God, that's the other thing."

>...Pretty sure you have that backwards-



>Whoa now!

~Fellow amb-ass-tor! We are meeting again!~

"Oh, hey Vekir."

~Did Vekir tell you of the great stride she made with the Griffons?~

"No, I'd love to hear it! Later, though."

~But whyfor not now?~






~Ohhhh... it is because Vekir has not showered yet.~


~It has been a long ride!~
Damn it mini satan stop
>Everyone else just got LIGHTED offscreen
So this is how it ends...
Wouldn't that be really mind blowing? All the buildup, and 90 percent of them get blasted offscreen, then it's down to Dash and Pinkie
>Upper Crust


"Hiya Ms. Crusty!"

>Oh it's you...don't-don't call me that.

"Kay, how's it going? Gonna mess with the ice cream guy again today?"

>Hm? No, no I just did that yesterday. Buzz off, kid, you're interrupting peak robbing hours.

"Aw but I wanna watch, you're like a real live supervillain and we haven't had one of those since the mane lady disappeared!"

>Feh, fine, sit near that corner there and DON'T TALK!


Upper Crust storms back into her hiding spot, leering out of the shadows.

"So how's your day?"

>What did I tell you!?


>...it's fine, the day is fine, I'm pretty sure I've perpetrated an international incident~.


>I mean, they kinda live under Equestria but like...nobody really knows how far down borders go. I mean it can't go all the way otherwise we'd probably be in a dispute with the Chineighs or Oatstralians or something.

"Oh, you mean the filly in the suit and the robot dog?"

>She's not a filly, just small.

"Oh right."


"...so how come-"

>Dang it, kid!


>Ugh...how come what?

"How come you aren't gonna mess with the ice cream stallion? I read you can get ice cream that tastes like toothpaste. I bet it'd taste awful if ya mix with orange sherbet!"

>Kid...that's horrifying. I have noted it for later use but if you must know, I've a schedule.

"A schedule?"

>Yes, I keep lists of all the people I've villainized in a day and keep at least a one day buffer between them.

"How come?"

>Because variety is the spice of life, and singling someone out is just bullying and I'm a villain not a bully.

"You got a lotta restrictions on yourself."

>It's an involved process.

"You're not gonna like, try to kill nobody, right?"

>What? NO! Faust no, I'm not a monster, I'm a VILLAIN.

"Hmm...so a villain doesn't bully and doesn't kill...what does a villain do?"

>Whatever I want, I'm beholden to no pony! I set my own course, live my own life, take what I want and give nothing back! Mark my words, kid, I'm gonna rob even the Princesses blind one day!


>The name Upper Cru-er, Scarlet Spectre will be the only thing the papers from tabloids up to the Hive Gazette itself'll be able to talk about, the talk of the town from here to Neighpon!

"Ya mean it?"

>Of course I mean, would I lie to you?

"Uhhh...do villains lie?"

>Well yeah, but not about this, why would I lie about that?

"I dunno ya just kinda had a twitchy eye there? My mom says people do weird things when they're lyin'."

>Oh well uh-ya see I don't uh-hey wait...hang on a minute...


>Shouldn't you be in school, runt? It's like half past noon.

"I played hooky!"


"I wanted to be a bad pony like you so I played hooky! Now we're both baddies!"

>...hmm...heh heh heh...


>I just realized, I didn't really villainize YOU yesterday, did I?


>Yes, you still got your ice cream, vanilla though it was...and I happen to know the best way to ruin the day of a child who wants to play at being bad.


>Turn them in to their teachers!



"You big meany!"

>Now hold still half-pint, I'm about to be the world's most evil truant officer!





>You won't escape the clutches of EEEEEVIL *OR* A TARDY SLIP!


>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts...well everypony! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and our slow down reflects the canon!

Cadence is climbing her way up.
"When this is over, Flurry and I are going to have a talk."

@Thou did ignore our warning about keeping a baby around in thy dreams.@

'You could have been more detailed about what was going to happened though.'

@Babies are unpredictable!@

[That last sheep dropped a crown.]

%I got a pink necklace.%

{Do you think it means anything or is it just random loot?}

@We didn't encounter any jewelery before thou came.

>The loot...what does it mean?

=It means we should collect more of it, darling. You never know if we may need it.=

+Let's just focus. How far up do we still need to go?+

@Quite a ways. We should be approaching the ice blocks. It's very slippery.@
As Luna climbs a block, the one underneath her shoots jagged icicles up.
She jumps to the side getting grazed.
@That never happened before.@

>Maybe she's upping the ante.

A few sheep climb down wielding ice maces.

%They're coming again!

[Lure them into the ice spikes!]

AJ picks up a sheep and flips it into the ice spikes.
+Have an ice day.+

=...That pun really hurt.=
Rarity pushes an ice block and crushes a sheep between the blocks.
=But not as much as that.=

A sheep swings its mace at RD. She slides away on the ice real slick.
{Can't catch this.}
It slides forward trying to catch her, but RD holds her hoof up so the sheep slides right into a punch.
Ice spikes pop up and skewer the sheep.


>A bloody good time for everypony!.

Fluttershy examine the sheeps.
%They all carry necklaces on them.%

@Curiouser and curiouser.@

{Loot the corpses!}

'Pfft tiaras are better.'

"You're just jealous you don't have a necklace to go with your headpiece like I do."
She rubs her necklace and crown.

@Mine is better though.@
Upper crust.
Okay hall monitor if nothing else
>The two NON-PRINCESS members of the mane six take out the god monster.

Finally resumes!s
>Cadence threatening her
...Damn UC.

>=It means we should collect more of it, darling. You never know if we may need it.=

>Griffon Guard

>You think the other side ever does this?

"Does what?"

>Has brief but mostly meaningless conversations we use to fill the void so we don't feel so empty inside?



"Nah. They're probably too fancy for that."

>Meh, probably right.

>This is weird.

"Oh hush."

>No, seriously, this is all wrong but it's not wrong and Ah' feel weird.


>Ya' don't understand, this is like the opposite of what Ah'm supposed to be here! This feels right but it's so wrong! It's so wrong!

"I said hush darn it!"





"Pears. Don't. Talk."


Rarity wasn't quite sure if she was talking to her... or the massive audience for the school play in front of them. The couple in the green fruit costume tried their very best to go silent long enough it could resume.

>...w-why did we need to do this together, again?

"We're a pair."


"There you go."

>No but seriously Ah'm gonna burn this place down.

That is the weirdest line...
Someone may be attempting to rationalize how making a kid go to school is an evil thing to do.

>This speed dating thing went sour fast.


>It's not you, it's your gender.

"Excuse me!?"

>Fine, your sex, whatever.


>Look, I'm not into dudes.

"You... you!"

>I'm sure you'll find love somewhere, just not with me. I'm not into that. I'm SUPER not into that. Just noooo, okay? Nooooooo. No homo.


>Unless you're a certain someone I won't name.


>I realize you can be that someone, but no.


Reluctantly, the changeling reached into her bag, pulled out some eyelashes, and stuck them on.

>...Wow, you look really pretty.

>Off to the side, Rumble grabs his own set of eyelashes
"It'll be too late before they notice..."
Ok, so, depending on how things go, I'll have the fight happen tomorrow or the next day at the latest! Whose ready for things to finally start moving along!?
I don't even know who you are or which one but I WANT IT
I'mma assume you're either Joe with Flash VS Twi, or KKA with Dash VS Glimmer, either way HYPE
Don't break my heart man.

>...Should... should we have warned the Yaks before they charged it?

"They figured it out, I think."

~Whoever's left did, at least.~



~...I stand corrected.~




>Looks about right.

"You see this shit? Shining, look at me, really look at me."

>I'm looking. My eyes look like they're closed, but trust me, I see it even then.

"Thank you! Also, furthers my point, seriously. How the fuck is this supposed to work? This is designed to be racist, is what it is."


"No, not racist against me, racist against others in general! You see this shit? This isn't made for anyone but a damn unicorn!"


"How else, no yeah you tell me how the fuck else anyone else is supposed to get this goddamn lingerie on and off!? YOU TELL ME TO MY FACE IT HAS ONE PART BUT IT'S LIKE SIX PIECES!"

>Ahem. Chrysalis?


>You do realize that's for someone much, much shorter, right?

"Those height discriminatory bastards."

>Were you trying to seduce me again?

"When am I not?"

>...Point taken.

"Can you help me take this off?"

>Ehhh, I guess-

"With your teeth."

>Goodnight, Chrysalis.

"No wait come back I was just joking I WAS JOKING IT HURTS-"

>Good night!


Popcorn is just waiting to be cooked.

>Thank you...

Tears streamed from her eyes as she gazed into that white, that glorious light that lie before her. Shaking hooves brought her forwards, one step closer after the other as she drew into it's warm inviting gaze. The light so familiar she could name it's every beam, yet so lost to time she would never have remembered it save for this moment. What lay upon her white face and made it shine like a star in the sky was a majesty she had experienced before, even if only in the deepest of her dreams, and it beckoned her.

It asked her to come home.


Shapes inside the light became more clear to her with every step. Their shapes instantly sprang to mind a recollection of so many memories. Long ones, sad ones, and so many happy ones all came rushing back as she moved ever closer to the silhouettes that awaited her.

"Come with us."

Her legs became weaker with every step closer to those who stood still within the light. So much shorter than her, yet she could not help but feel as if she looked up to them on the peak of a mountain, every laborious step forwards another one up an impossible trek.

She marched along it all the same.

"Come join us."

She marched with smiles and blurry eyes towards them and a stern belief in her heart, a truth was awaiting her there, a hope that had died out blazing anew. Something was waiting for her, they were waiting for her.

She would not keep them.

"We can be together forever, once again."

She ran, in a sea of nothing save pure white she ran with all the force she could bring to tired legs.

>Thank you... thank you.

She rasped as the fire in her chest burned and lungs heaved to breath in more precious air, anything to give more power and more speed to bring her closer to those shapes awaiting at the end of a long, hard road.

"You worked so long. You've worked so hard... you were never appreciated. Not as you should have been."

It was all true.


Every word spurred her on faster, faster still, faster until the ground itself seemed to vanish and she stood on nothing but an endless chasm of white.

"You can be free now. Free of the doubts, free of the fear, free of the ungrateful, we're waiting for you, come with us."

At last.


She reached them.

"Come home... to mother."

She stopped just before her outstretched hoof could touch the other's.


The mightiest of the princesses stood there, shaking, weakly held up by legs that threatened to bend and break down at any moment.

"Come with us."

All the while, she smiled.

"Come home."

All the while, she cried.

"Come... sister."


She cried freely, openly, as the tears poured down her cheeks.

>Ahahahah... ahahahahahah... ahahaahahahahahaha! AHHHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH!

With a scratching voice and painfully gargling on her own spit, she laughed.


She laughed with tears still ever flowing.

"What is wrong, Celestia?"

The shape to the left stepped forwards.

"Don't you want to rest?"

The shape to the right stepped forwards.

"Won't you come with us?"

The shape in the center, the tallest of them all, tried to move forwards.

"Won't you be with us again... sister?"

She could not reach the gold encircled hoof before it stomped down, needed to keep the tall frame from falling over.

Right into their faces, she laughed.


Until her lungs would simply allow no more.


The three shadows before her stepped forwards once more.

The eldest princess would not move back.

She looked to them, with tears still in her eyes, and she smiled.

>You're just illusions...


The light returned, so bright, so blinding, even the one who wielded the sun itself had to look away.

"We are Mother's children, like you."


Even with her hoof blocking out the worst of the light, she felt the change. A weight had pressed down on her chest, her heart, her head.

"We have been granted her gift."

All at once, it ended, and she was back in the middle of a steel grey hallway, nothing changed.

Save the glow of power directly before her.

"And we shall bring you into her heart."

It overwhelmed her with the suddenness of it's strike. A wave of power, enough to tear free sheets of metal around her and cast them down the walkway, enough nearly to break her legs tenuous hold on the ground and send her to her painful fall.

It was only her will that kept her from breaking, and kneeling before these things.

"If you will fight us..."

With a painful creak to her bones, the princess lowered the hoof that had shielded her.

"If you will deny her..."

Only then could she look to the new, far dimmer light and see what remained.

"...then we will do what must be done."

Three shapes, just as she had seen before, standing above the height of most ponies, glowing with an awesome might, radiating beauty, and power, and warmth.

"Sister... join us."

They brought magic to their horns.

"Then you will be together with them again."

Then, they spread their wings.


Three alicorns, their shapes so similar to those who had finally been with her, those who had ended what felt like an eternity of loneliness, and all stood against her. Pink, so bright. Purple, like the dawn before it breaks.

Blue, like the darkest hour of the night.

They stood before her, with magic blazing that awesome power.

>You... are not...

Even they were given pause when the face so joyous, so sad, turned into something else.


A rage unmatched in all the world burned with the intensity of the sun.

The world shook with the sound of their battle's beginning.

Well shit
... hi sudden minibosses!

What, ahhh, whatcha doin there?
>Dash VS Glimmer
>Flash VS Twi
>Celly Vs Three Alicorns

Damn, finally feeling like an arc around here!

"...Hey honey, you entirely sure, are you, entiiiiiiiirely sure.... absoooolutely certain.... There isn't anything going on down there? Nothing whatsoever that doesn't deserve the slightest glance?"

>...Eh, nah
>We're getting Dash doing something
>We're getting a World Of Cardboard with Celly

>>We're getting a World Of Cardboard with Celly

This is a rare chance here, we can FINALLY have Celestia go all out against opponents she has no qualms with in a setting where she doesn't have to worry about anyone.
>Look, if we solve EVERYTHING for them, they'll just do nothing themselves. They need to handle their own problems!

"Isn't... isn't that a piece of you, so it's your-"

>Heh, three on one, this should work fine-MYFAACCEEEE



"I feel like we kinda got sent out of our leagues here."


"Wow, we didn't even tell her we killed Shining yet."






~And that, children, is how we found out what splitting an atom does!~
Why do they think she's important again?
File: happy shimmy.png (120 KB, 500x500)
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Her smile could not be protected

>What do you mean, striping is illegal!?

"It's not illegal, I just feel it's culturally insensitive."


"Look, ponies are different, we can accept that right? We really should not be flaunting that difference and showing it off."


"I'm just saying, if we have to, we will put our hoof down on this one. No striping!"

>Name one of ANYONE who would POSSIBLY be offended by this!

A subtle "Ahem!" sounded behind her.


She turns around and there stands Zecora, frowning.

>...I think I left off a P at some point.
Hey, it’s someones fetish.
A lot of people, actually...>>31691276

>I'm telling you, nobody is going to want to "Ride the dragon".

"It looks fun though!"

>And it is, at the start, but trust me, they'll think "Oh I want that' until they realize "Wait no I want none of that, that's not fun at all. I want to go to the other ride."


>Trust me, they all want to ride The Knight. Get The Knight.


>Pinkie...you won't be happy with the dragon.


>Get The Knight.



"Thanks for helping me pick a ride for Partyland, Spike!"


"Sooooo... did you want to go get something to eat?"


"Because Shiny did, and it would be rude not to invite you!"

>There it is.
File: Sunsets.png (298 KB, 1600x375)
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That's why we keep trying... in every dimension... Quantum Sunny
Question, friends. Is that .gif with everyone’s name in it still around or has that been lost to the ether?

I’m not asking for like an updated one, I just feel the itch for randomized funnies
It's probably buried DEEP in the desu. But check Artwork in the wiki just in case
I don't have it, otherwise I'd post it, but I know someone has it, they posted it 30ish threads ago I think.
I have delved and sadly come up short, a shame, perhaps another time.

Or whenever I reach that point in my binging of the archive.
>Upper Crust

>Hahah...hooookay, this is a weird one.


>Y'know, when I heard the Changeling Ambassador and his little buddy were gonna be off doing...I dunno, erotic juggling or whatever it is they do when they aren't here, I figured this was going to be a pretty easy smash and grab, maybe see if the old guy had any of that booze he gave out around hearthswarming that one time.



>What I was NOT expecting was uh...this particular kind of defense force.



>No no, I'm not disappointed just...surprised.


>Well that and the fact that somehow a cockroach and a tiny figurine of a pony managed to rig up a SNARE SOMEHOW!



>I find the idea that either of you got any sort of degree very hard to believe.


>Thaaat's more likely. But what the two of you didn't account for was THIS!



>Ow! I'm ok! But see, I've dismantled your pathetic tra...


>What's that button?






>Is that a trap-





Above in the embassay its silent defenders did the only thing two creatures without any actual language skills could do to celebrate a victory:

Bumped foreleg to crystalline hoof.
Oh, we should memtion, those two we're not forgotten, as certain great Pegasus is watching them
Night thread
This still counts as a evil deed, just not from her
Yeah, Derpy babysat.

And charged 32 a shitload
Oh really, how was tha-

Haaaaa, I love it

>Wrestle me.

"I kinda figured this was where things were leading to when you forced me into these tights. But, uh, can you tell me why?"

She starts flexing and stretching.

>I've been doing some lifting with Sweet Note and want to see how much stronger I've gotten.

"Uh, ok. Are you sure this is a good idea, though?"

>What do you mean?

"Well, I'm stronger than you."

>And? Chitania's stronger than you, but you still spar with her.

"Point... But-"

>No buts unless we're talking about yours getting pinned to the floor!

"Fine, fine. Let's do this."

Her stance lowers, a cocky grin splitting her muzzle before she charges at Flash. He braces for impact, his hooves shooting up to lock with hers when she moves to grab him.




Using his moment of distration to her advantage, Sunset breaks off and slips underneath him, hooves wrapping around his back as she uses all of her strength to lift him off the ground.


For all of three centimeters. Well, not even that. She kinda just forces him to stand a little taller.


>HHRRR! Why are you so heavy?!

"Uh, part cyborg-"


"-and, you know, bracing myself? It's not just about weight, but also force-"



>HRRR- HUH?! Hey, put me down!


>Flash- AAH-AAAAH!

And just like that, Sunset is tossed into the air, hooves flailing about as she falls back into Flash's only to be tossed into the air again.


"Sunrise! Sunset! Sunrise! Sunset!"


"Sunrise! Sunset! Sunrise! Sun-HEY!"

Frozen in a telekinetic grip, Flash is tossed and pinned to the ground.

>1-2-3! I win!

"That's not fair!"

>I never said magic was off limits!

"It was implied!"

>What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of my rippling, victorious muscles! BOOM, BOOM, GUN SHOW!
That is seriously adorable


“Spike stop.”

>This is discrimination, don’t lie!

“This isn’t discrimination.”

>You tell me how there isn’t a clear difference in preference here!

“Because there isn’t.”

>AHA! You can’t!





“You don’t have hooves-“

>The racist well will never sate your thirst.
>Saddle Arabian Guard

>I feel so very far away from the other guards right now, though we’ve never been closer.

“Strange, isn’t it?”

>Right? We’ve never been so close from the ones we would call fellow, and yet, we are beyond reach. It is poetic, in a way.

“Shall we write a hymn?”

>…Yes, I do believe we shall-OH HOLY FUCK-
He has the voice of an angel… Had.

“Ah’ feel pain, and ya’ ain’t even said anything yet.”

>So are you against avocados too, or is it just pears?

“There it is.”

>Like, how deep does this rabbit hole go? I’ve seen a carrot house on your property. Or is that where you keep the slave? You monster.

“Ah’ don’t have slaves.”

>What did you do to your slaves!?

“Ah’ never had slaves!”

>Ahhh, I get’cha. Wink.

“…Can we go back to talking about avocado’s?”

>Sure. Do you like them?

“Not really.”

>Annnnd, cross.

“…That’s all ya’ wanted?

“Well I technically jut asked what plant based food you swore off and you acted like this was painful.”


“I just wanted to know what to try next and what someone with knowledge avoids and I’m the jerk?”

>…Stop makin’ sense.”

>…You think I could take all of you in a fight?


>You heard me, can I fight and beat you guys together?

“You can’t beat ME.”

>When I’m not holding back, I mean.


>I totally was.




>I was!


>…Let me have this.


>I was top princess for so long…
Damn it AJ, why you so racist



>You spent nine thousand bits… on balloons.

“I need a lot of balloons.”

>…Pinkie, I’m worried the spending for Partyland Two is going to go…poorly.

“Nahhh, we charge fifty cents on the balloon, when we buy them at an adjusted rates of just five cents per balloon, meaning if even one in five is defective we’ve still doubled our profits, and the margins only go up from there.”

>Oh, I guess that makes sense.


>Wait, at five cents per balloon, wouldn’t that come out to-




>How much downward force did you account for on the flying thing?



“…Shiny get off the island.”





“So, uh.. good thing we’ve got those profit margins, because fixing this is going to be-“

>I hurt myself today.
>>The racist well will never sate your thirst.
Eleswhere, Chrysalis furiously jots down notes


>I have heard of thine romantic woes!

“No please goddess no what did I do to deserve this-“

>Fear not! For I have the answer thou seeks!

“Where’s my gun why can’t I find my gun I need my gun I NEED MY GUN-“

>Tis simple! Thou only needs to be really, really good at things, offer something nobody else can, treat them as more than just objects and make sure to remember they have needs too, and do thine very best to satisfy those needs! Then you know maybe worry about yourself. Also, get a pet. Rather tis better to adopt a child to show that one is of the highest parental standard, but let’s be realistic here, that could be more of a commitment than some are willing to bear at time of meeting, and really, if you’re unwilling to risk that for the child’s sake you really shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. Oh! And one last thing!... Get good at sex. Like, really good. Work for it. Train for it. You think those images in your head are going to help with stamina!? HA! Thine hoof-sorry, hand is NOTHING compared to what thou will face, get good!



“That’s… not the worst advice?”

>Good. Also, don’t go after any royals.

“To keep my goals realistic?”

>No, because THEY ARE MINE!




“…I hate that I now have to weigh if it would be a good idea to listen to him or not…”

>Upper Crust

Stealthily the villainess crept across the carpets of the manor, her countenance dripping with the confidence she had in her abilities.

>Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

And things better left unsaid.

>Just gotta get a little further...

Her body was rigid as a cat in a den of wolves, her every step a desperate and calculated so as to not awaken those that dwelt within.

>Ok...first stop...

Gently nudging open a door she slipped into...

A bathroom.


Shaking off her befouled garments and flicking on the light she dove into the nearby shower and got to work, scrubbing at every available spot on her body. So caught up in removing every bit of filth from herself she failed to notice the figure slipping into the bathroom...


...and dragging off her soiled costume.
...I don't know how to take that.
I'll have the next bit later, I'm pressed for time on my lunchbreak so I can't really get it all out at once and still y'know eat.
Ahhh, okay.
Just to allay your worries I swear it’s nothing perverted.

>...How long range do you think my Teleportation can go?

"I have no idea, I never figured out how to do that."




"Look I'm proud you did it, no need to worry I'm jealous or anything."

>That is correct, there is no reason for that. You should drop the topic now for both our sakes.



"...Tell me it's not-"

>I will tell you nothing.
is.. is that implying what I think it's implying?
A certain OTHER bug's abilities?



"You went to lengths for that. Impressive lengths."

>I'll show you an impressive length.

"Alarm bells are ringing."

>With a mirror!

"Narrowly avoided. Tell me, what do you have in store for me today?"

>I bought some cupcakes today, you want one?

"Huh. I do."

>Too bad!


"...you realize you left it on my desk, right?"


"...we've reached some next level stuff here.
Satan stop being TsunTsun
>Joe said tomorrow
>It's happening tomorrow

Have some patience or you will blow out your eye socket
Gnight thread
>Upper Crust

>I feeeel good nanananana I knew that I would~

As she finally allowed the stream of warm water to cease its flow, the villainess let out a sigh of relief, stepping out of the shower and floating a towel over to dry herself.

>Sooo good, clean everything. Clean fur, clean mane, clean...costume...

The mare blinked at the neatly folded up dress, hat, and mask that sat on the side of bathroom sink. Her eyes narrowed as her horn lit up to tie her towel up around her mane in a makeshift turban and subsequently levitating her costume to follow her as she exited the room out to the hallway.

>I know you’re in here, come out already so I can face the music.

“Apologies, madam.”


The mare nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice coming from beside the doorway, her towel coming undone to cover most of her face, tented by her horn. Shaking the wet absorbent fabric off her head she turned to face the stallion who had addressed her, an elderly sea-green gentlecolt in a suit, his head bald and wrinkled, his grey eyebrows bushy to the point of obscuring his eyes, likewise his mouth was shadowed by the fuzzy caterpillar of a mustache above it.

>You’re STILL working here?

“A skeleton crew of servants has been kept on retainer since you departed, Madam, the Master preferred it be in proper working order for your return from your dalliances.”

>Dalliances-wait, he’s here?

Upper Crust’s indignation was swept away in a moment, a slight upturn of her mouth appearing in time to quickly be dashed by the butler’s reply.

“Master Jetset has not removed himself from the summer home in Manehattan, Madam. However, he has kept a constant correspondence with us and I assure you he is quite concerned.”

>Yeah I gathered he was very concerned when he kept me from selling the house he doesn’t even live in anymore.

“To be fair, Madam, you don’t either.”


>I’m still in the same city at least! Closeness counts in Horseshoes and Hoof Grenades and I have both of those!


>Ok so they’re more like the little things you buy for foals at a fireworks shop that go pop when you throw them on the ground but the principle is the same!

“Oh dear I think those may have been ruined when I washed your dress, Madam.”

>Aww aww...what about the horseshoes?

“Clean as a whistle.”

>Fantastic! But yes, as I was saying if he has issues with my ‘dalliances’ perhaps he should come down here and talk to me about them, I am not a hard mare to find!

“Madam, Master Jetset only wishes for your safety, the calamities that have befallen our city only seem to get worse each time they happen, Faust forbid if that massive brute of a changeling came crashing through the city, it could mean your life!”

Upper Crust hardened her stare.

>Yes, calamities have befallen us, things that would have left a lesser city in rubble and disarray but this is Canterlot! We have survived the Changeling Invasion, the...other Changeling Invasion, Blueblood’s Coup, two rampages by the most fierce of all changeling Queens, THAT INFERNAL MUSHROOM-

“Let us never speak of that thing again, I still have nightmares.”

>-and sundry other catastrophes. But each time we have rebuilt, we have stood back up after the pummelings and we have shouted ‘We are Canterlot, and we will not be broken!’

“I...don’t seem to remember it that way, Madam, I remember a lot more whimpering and cowering...”

>Metaphorically I meant, but...y’know what? You can tell my husband that I have no reason to fear anymore calamities because there won’t BE anymore calamities, I’ll be making sure of that.


>Yes indeed, I’m pursuing vital work, work that will keep Equestria safe from something like the m-


>Fungus Humongous or the Hoofington Disaster from ever happening again!


“I-I see? And is that vital work something to do with why you broke into your own home in the middle of the night smelling the same as when I first entered your family’s service?”

>I was a baby when you firs-oh ha ha, very funny.

“I’ve my moment’s madam, but the question stands.”

>Well...yes, I had a bit of a run-in with a cockroach-

“Madam! Please, there’s no reason to use slurs here, I know you’ve had your issues with Changelings but please this is a respectable household.”

>No I meant a literal cockroach, y’know all chittery and skittery?

“...for some reason I know believe I would have preferred the slur.”

>If it helps there was a tiny crystal pony there too.

“Marginally. And you getting covered in sewage was somehow helping Equestria?”

>Vitally, friend, vitally.

“And you believe this with all your heart?”


The stallion sighs.

“Then I suppose...though I’m loathe to allow this, I cannot stop you, but Madam I implore you, don’t be a stranger to your own home, or to Master Jetset, he cares for you truly even though his actions seem cowardly...”

>I’ll consider it, but for now I must be getting back to my work, for I am-

Fwish, she donned her costume with a telekinetic flourish.


She charged down the hallway, leaving the butler in her wake, who scrambled to pick up a small bag of bits.

“Mum, you’re leaving your thirty bits behind!”

>Keep them, you may get your checks from Jetsy’s Bank Account but never forget who tips the best between us! AWAY!

And with the sound of a door knocking open, she disappeared into the night with a clatter of hooves on the street.

“...I knew I should have broke up that fight between her and that De La Creme filly quicker when she was a girl, poor Mare’s got her head bonked one too many times.”

Night anon
Late Night Pre-Sleep Bump, board's moving fast tonight
Oi, just reply good night next time! Bump is a cursed word unless it's accompanied by a pic of Pinkie!
My bad, brain is sluggish at this hour
Dam , surprisingly large happenninf
One Marehood Early

>But Mista Balevedere, I had her on da ropes!

“Child you’re missing three teeth, have two black eyes, your ear has bitemarks on it and I’m fairly certain what that filly was doing to you when I stepped in made you legally married in five countries.”

>...it wuzza rope-a-dope stragagy.

“Your parents are gonna kill me.”
Every Batman needs his Alfred...
>and I’m fairly certain what that filly was doing to you when I stepped in made you legally married in five countries.

Ohhhh myyy~

>And welcome everyone to Discorderly Dropping Differences, Dis’is Discord. It’s during this time that content doesn’t matter, so shut up


>No, shut up, I got screentime again. Do you know what I had to do to get screentime again?


>You know who you get to be? Little question marks, that’s who you are. Oh sure, you’re characters, you have personalities, but to me? You’re question mark one, and question mark two through six.


>Shark attack.

‘I don’t-‘




>Don’t worry folks, he’s fine. I promised dear Fluttershy nobody would be killed, maimed, hurt, or even given a boo boo!


>Psychosomatic pain derived from sensory illusions never came into the equation, but look, no boo boos!


>I don’t know who thought I was going to fix anything, but that’s all the time we have for today! Keep a little chaos in your life.

This is why you don’t get screen time!
That’s... oddly sweet.
I just wanna know which counties.
Saddle Arabia... DEFINITELY Neighpon... Kebab Pone Counties? Prance, you know, the shity parts of Prance.
They used to be based before they started letting the camels in...
I heard Germeneigh is going to be all humps in two generations

>This should not be as funny as it is.




>Oh, well if you demand it… then no.

“CHITANIA! I have work to do!”

>Do you?


>I don’t see it.


>I’m not falling for that one again.


>Ahahaah, you’re tiny.

“Are you drunk again!?”

>I don’t get drunk, I get lit.

“…You blazin’?”


“Nevermind. Beyond your time.”




“I have to see this.”

>…M’kay, I’m game-


>This is nothing like what you said it would be!

“Dude calm down! They can hear you…”


“They’re listening through the WALLS MARE!”

>…you are really paranoid.

“Shhhh!... They can hear you say that, then they’ll know.”

>This went exactly the opposite of how I wanted it to go.

>Well, this dream hopping isn’t so bad… I think I’m rather getting the hang of this! Yes! I think I can really reach out to ponies and-


>Wait what? What is ding? I’m not dinging, I’m looking down right now and there is exactly zero ding.

“Dream Quota Reached.”


“Please wait two minutes for cooldown.”

>Oh… well, I suppose that’s not so bad….

Two minutes later…

>Ahah! Now we continue again!


>And now we have-

“Dream Quota Reached.”

>Again?! I was on a roll!... oh well, I suppose I can spend these two minutes thinking up a devilish dream!

“Please wait ten minutes for cooldown.”


>HEYYYY!... Blast it all.

Ten minutes later…

>Okay, fine, back in the saddle! LETS DO THIS!


“Dream Quota Reached.”

>Don’t you dare-

“Please wait three hours for cooldown.”


“Or pay ninety nine cents for a five pack of Lunar Tears, one Lunar Tear will eliminate the waiting period.”


>…I suppose a few bits isn’t so bad.

“Ten Lunar Tears will also get you the delux boost to your dreams.”

>Well.. that is less than two whole bits…




“Mine student! Thou have failed thine test of frugality and the dangers of addictive behavior!”

>Oh… can I have my bits back then-

“No they’re mine now.”


>Damn it.
>She just robbed 29

Not evil then




Chrysalis holds up an orange.

>Apple, Flurry, aaaapple.






Funfact: According to my mom, my dad’s brother tried to do that to me as a baby.

He was a fucker that one.
>Berry Punch

>…I am not near drunk enough for this shit.


‘Honestly I’m just impressed that the train brought us here. The guy probably has a death wish or something.’


‘Well, we’re here… what did you all want to do again? Curl up and cry?”



>I know how to separate a fight, trust me, this works almost every time.

‘…You know what sure.’


“We get it!’



>…I broke my bottle too early.

>Pinkie no.

“You can’t tell me no! Nobody tells me no! I’m unknowable!... See what I did there?”

>When I say no, you get no, noooooo.

“Awww, come onnnnn.”


“I know you think you’re nover this, but let me tell you that yestoday is also a great way to look at it.”

>I sayyyy no nooo no.

“It’s not November, it’s Yescember, tis the season.”


“That first one works, trust me.”


“Yes it does! You just have to think about-oh.”

>Not oh, no.

“Oh no?”

>Ohhhh no.

“Oh yes!”


“Darn it, you have to lead me into something.”

>Pinkie, you have no power here.



“Drat. Alright then, I guess I’ll just move on, and not ride in the first class seat on the train. I’ll live… cold… alone… in the back with all the smelly passengers-“

>I’m not letting you use my baby for free advancements in seating on transportation.

“Boy if I had a bit for every time I heard that.”

>Pinkie why don’t you just ask me to get you first class, I’m rich.



“Shiny can I have a first class ticket-“


>TFW it might be today for Twi Vs Flash

Don't jinx it!
So looking through the archives I ran across the proposal of a secret group taking out changelings and I had a flashback to that one thingy around the time of Partyland where we aped the future Twi thing. Now mostly we all focused on her warning her past self about 56 and Luna kissing on a Ferris Wheel of whatever but another bit of her warning was something like:

>77 must not go to Transylmaneia

Sooo...just throwing this out for consideration...

I'm utterly terrified of the concpet ever since the comics fucked it up so badly.
Awesome moment where Chitty kills a ton of them by Raising the Sun
>NOW! Vif zee gate Zelestia and zee ozers captures VEE SHALL RULE ZEE VORLD-

"For fucks sake I want to go to the breakfast buffet! UP!"


I mean I'd be down if we made them some weird kind of magic.

MLP is fun with weird magic.
Joe hasn't gotten back to me yet since I emailed him a bit ago, even to say "gotcha' or anything, so he might have a delay, he might not, but no worries regardless! You won't be wanting today.

>Guys? I've got a confession to make, I'm still kinda scared.

"Of what? The timberbears in the forest?"

'Or the pony eating Roc's in the sky?'

"Or the Basilisks that lurk under the water?"

'Or the Quarry Eels the pop out of the ground?'

"Or the Cragodile that might be the rock we're sitting on?"

'Or the killer plants that poison us by spitting into our faces?'

"Or the Cockatrice that'll turn us into stone for no reason?"

'Or the dragons that'll flame roast us for going in the wrong cave?'

"Or the diamond dogs that might kidnap us and put us into slavery?"

'Any of that?'

>...N-...no, I meant the headless pony.


'Yeah, that's pretty scary.'


"We should camp more often."

>I disagree.
>You won't be wanting today.

Don't break my heart
I left my laptop unattended and an auto-update is going through. I'm tearing my hair out waiting for it to finish but it JUST. KEEPS. Going.
No worries! I'll drop the story I was planning on dropping next thread to bring this one to a-hopefully-satisfying ending, and you can lead next thread.

Give me juuuuust a minute to finish up my usual cleanup.

Whatever else could be said about the illustrious Rainbow Dash, none could be as true as three simple words.

She is fast.

A fact the unicorn learned the hard way when her eyes ended their mere second long blink, and all of her reality was defined by an unforgiving blue hoof.


Sight became a blur again when it connected, shoving her back with all the force those pumping wings could provide, and that was quite a lot indeed. The machines that lay behind her offered no cushion before her back indented them inwards and sent sparks everywhere.

That was not even the beginning.

Within the span of a gasp of air the pegasus had crossed the gap once again, hind hoof aimed squarely for her face with every intention of turning the outwards snout into an inward one. She might have done just that.


If the unicorn had not vanished in a flash of light, and reappeared right back where she had begun.


Her words were slower than the beating wing's great speed. Before her head could even turn a fraction of an inch backwards, the mare was already mere inches away, hoof ready to deliver a crushing blow to break her. That hoof would never reach her.

The diamond like shield that surrounded her would see to that.

Sparks danced across hooftips as the blue mare slid along the outer edge, feeling with a gentle touch for any sign of weakness or fault in the otherwise perfect form of the shape, never slowing or losing a single bit of momentum. Even after she had slid beyond it's reach, a single beat of cyan feathers had sent her right back down the direction she had come along the other side of the shield.

"How brave, but-ahem, I'm trying to-listen, I can't-excuse me!"

Despite the very best efforts of flickering eyes, everything that lie outside the shield was nothing but shimmering rainbow that stretched from one corner clear to the other.

"Will you hold still!'


The machines and the orb and even her foe had all been hidden beneath the rainbow trail left in the wake of the pony that could not be seen, as illusive as the end of the rainbow should be.

"Stop it!"

All the while there was tapping, maddening tapping from every angle and every corner of her shield, tapping and tapping and tapping again as any and all weaknesses were sought with careful precision. It did not matter that her turns and flight should have been impossible in a space as enclosed as this, such limitations were defied openly as the mare gave all she had and a great deal more to find any such chink in the unbreakable armor, and end this.


This would not be accepted.


The unicorn would not allow it.


She was willing to prove it, with the magic she summoned to cast in every direction, reaching out like icy fingers of the reaper itself to take hold of any and every shape, covering them, holding them tightly, freezing them in place.


Letting the magical being take a breath, recompose herself, and smile once more.

"As I was saying, I'm so glad you decided to... to..."

That smile was not long for this world.


Very much unlike the one currently spread across bright pink cheeks.


The giddy one continued to grin, as though she were oblivious to the magic currently swathed over her and locking her in place.

"I'd wave, but ya' know."

Even frozen, the party pony found some way to stare pointedly at her and gesture with nothing except her eyes moving up and down.

"Not necessary at all. Tell me... where's your friend? I wanted to talk to her."

No matter how cool and how collected the words were spoken, the one before her never looked unnerved.

"Oh, Dashie? She's right behind you."

Lightning fast hooves turned, magic as quick as lightning flashed on the magenta horn, every cell in the unicorn's body braced for the inevitable impact waiting for her on the other side.


There was nothing there. Nothing at all but empty space and empty air.

Yet, softly, she could hear a sound grow louder.

From behind.


The irony of the situation did not escape her.

Nor she escape before the sudden burst of sound stopped, directly behind her, and all the force it brought with it.

The mare was no fool, quite the opposite, she was far more brilliant than most gave her credit for, certainly more brilliant than should have been possible to learn in a backwoods and out of the way village with little to offer in the way of scholastic spellteaching. She had not placed a shield merely in front of her to brace for any attack, knowing that a wrong step could send her to her back and into dangerous shrapnel. The pony who had once lead an entire village under her own power was not stupid.

She still wasn't able to stop the sudden jerk forwards from the sheer force hitting the back of her shield, and the even more painful stop it brought with it when the wall in front of it ceased it's ability to move forward. From front to back, there was pain.

It was only the beginning.

There was a boom of sound, yet there was no time to appreciate it.

Instead there was only an unforgiving blow from the left side of her shield, and another battering bounce around within it.

And another, and another, from every side and every angle a hurricane of rainbow colors that would not let any bearing be found, no hoofhold to steady and counterattack before another blow came as quickly and as ruthlessly as the last.

Again, again, and again she was struck, every time her head hitting against another side of her shield, every time more pain, every time more desperation to find something, anything to break this assault and turn the tides. Again and again, until the final blow came.


One last hit as she traveled from one side of the room to the other, directly from the bottom, every last forward inch of momentum that kept her flying was intermingled with the strike from below. The two blows intermingled, gained their force together, and with a reckoning smashed the pony directly into the ceiling above.

The battered head could think clearly no longer, the magic shattered.

With the body still in the air, it was time to end it.

All of the speed her wings would grant her, all of the pain she had been though, all of the power she could muster and all of the anger she still held joined together to move the blue body as one towards her strongest, deadliest strike. With an aim right on the spine beneath that bright fur, she shot forwards.

She missed.

The mind so keen to process at such high speeds could scarcely believe it herself as she floated in the air, barely able to even see the body that had shifted just out of reach. For a hanging instance, she could only watch awestruck as the world simply passed her by, moving as if spun on a globe, carrying on without her.

Her skills kept her from splattering against the wall, even as stunned as she was. Beating wings and just the right angle moved her clear of where she would land, and into safety.

Safe, for only a single moment.

"There you are."

Then it was over.


How the pegasus wished she could respond, she wished she could call out encouragement, or a threatening barb, or even a sarcastic remark to keep her head cool and collected.

She couldn't manage even that when she was forcibly turned around. Moved like a mere toy to the grasp that would barely let her breath, let alone move a single inch of her wings. No matter how she fought, no matter how she struggled, it was useless.

When the movement stopped, she couldn't even breath anymore, no matter if the hold would allow it or not.

"That was very impressive."


She could barely even think when she looked at her foe, flying in the air from her own magic like it was nothing.

"You're strong, you're fast, you're so brave... but you're not equal."

The unicorn exuded pure confidence as she lazily floated about, showing off that it was no mere hovering spell or freeze in the air. She could fly, with nothing save magic as her aide. Even while holding her, even while casting spells, she could defy one of the most well known limitations of two thirds of the pony race without a care.

And the former wonderbolt could do nothing.

“Does it bother you that I can do this?"

For a second, the mare vanished from sight, reappearing mere inches from the captured mare with her smile now back in it's fullest force.

"Are you angry that I can just do so much more than you can, without even trying? I’ve barely studied, I’ve barely worked, and yet here I am, flying. In the domain that should be yours, all from just a quirk of luck. Isn’t that unfair?”

Within her locked jaw, there was a scream that would not escape. A cry for silence from the one who mocked her, even though every word was spoken with such a calming, motherly care.

“Isn’t it odd l that a chance of fate meant I, someone who used to look with uncaring eyes at the turmoil of Equestria, I can do so much without trying? I never even so much as worried about the fates of the rest of the world so long as I had my little village, my little home away from all the troubling conflict abroad, and yet I have so much power to use, to have for my own. While you, one who fought for all, battles for others without thought, who risked your life, were given nothing. It must seem so cruel.”

Despite the insulting language she used, never once did the look slip into derision. Ever time she spoke with rapt honesty, as though she had discovered some great secret and merely wished to tell it to a child who could not possibly understand.


“Don’t you wish things were a little different? Isn’t it unfair, isn’t it cruel? You work, you train, you toil, and at the end of the day, your friends, those you trust, who you worked so hard to protect, those friend simply are granted... more.”

A hoof that seemed positively brimming with energy reached up, softly brushing down the rainbow mane despite the withheld screams of protest from the source of her affections. Her gaze seemed almost sorrowful for a moment, a brief flash of something deeper that made her pause before continuing again.

“More power, more prestige, more opportunities, more of everything, really. More more more more... and you get so much less, no matter how hard you work. No matter what hurdles you pass or records you break, they're simply given more. Isn’t that unfair? Wouldn’t things be so much better if they were just a little more... equal?”

That sorrow had long since been buried by the time her smile had returned.

“I used to think the only way everything would be fair was if everyone was equal in most ways. If they shed their cutie mark, gave up the supposed destiny that had been laid out for them and joined the herd then everything would be better. Only when all worked together and everyone had no masters, none were more special than any other, only when they listened to my words and followed in step to my gentle hoof could there be happiness... I was such a blind fool.”

Her eyes flickered once more with some form of regret, yet her smile never so much as wavered, her voice never cracked.

Instead, it began to grow louder.


“How I see so clearly now... how I wish I’d known this all before. Equality cannot be achieved that way, we can’t just take off a simple mark and be equal as we should be. I thought I was the one who must herald in this change, I thought I had to be the one to bring them all together into true equality, but I was a fool! I could never compare to what was needed to be equal, I could never understand no matter how much I told myself I was right. I was an idiot, a blind dog sniffing around for the bowl, never realizing I would need something greater than myself to pour it first. No, they can't, I can't, and you can’t ever be truly equal, not in this form, not in this world... but that can finally change.”

Her eyes shot wide as they could go, positively glowing with the rapt joy that had overtaken her, brimming with happiness and eagerness to scream her words as loud as she could.

“There! That is the one who will give us true equality! That is the one who will make us all so much more than we were before! There, do you see it? There it is!"

Her shaking hoof pointed right towards the orb, her breathless words hitching the instant her eyes laid upon it as tears began to stream from her eyes.

"There inside that cage of a fool lies something so much more than any of us! In that grace, all are equal, no one is more special than any other. In that grace there is nothing but perfect unity, perfect harmony! We share the same mind, the same heart, the same destiny. There are no princesses, no masters, no betters, only us, all of us, you and me and everyone else together at last, and we understand each other at last!"

Somewhere along the way, the still pony had stopped screaming.

"We all understand each other, we're all as powerful as each other, we're all as wonderful as each other... we're equal. And the best part is... you don't have to do it alone."

jesus christ glimglam is bad-shonen-tier wordy

The blue cheek had gone still, even when the other's hoof brushed against it.

"I know what you're afraid of. You're afraid of losing your friends, losing everything, losing what you are. You're afraid of what you'll leave behind. But don't you see.. You aren’t leaving anything, or anyone. This world... this world is nothing.”

Her hooves spread wide, as if to welcome everyone into a hug.

“You don’t have to lose your friends, not at all. I would never want you to. I know how important friendship is, how it must be cherished, protected at all costs. That's why I want you to listen, why you need to hear this! I don't want you to lose all that you know, I want them to be with you, be with all of us! That’s what I’m offering you, you can stay with your friends, your family, everyone you’ve ever cared about, forever. You can be with them forever, and they will be safe, happy... loved.”

She left them hanging there, her eyes trailing back to the orb almost unconsciously.

“Nobody is equal in this world, not truly... wouldn’t it be better if that could change? It can...”

Finally, the last thing Dash ever expected to happen came forth.

The unicorn let her go.

"If you'll let it."

Even with her freedom, not a single thing of magic or force to hold her down, something strange occurred.

Rainbow Dash did not move.

She stood there, wings at her side, seemingly ready to burst forth with speed at any moment.

Yet, they never moved.

"Come with us."

They, and the pony with them, merely twitched. Feathers and eyes flickered, lips came together and opened ever so slightly, yet that was all. She simply would not, or could not, move.

"Come and join us... and be equal."

Slowly, the wings fell.

"...you're right."


There was a gasp, yet it was ignored. All the rapt attention stayed on the mare with her head slowly lowering down, her eyes trailing to the ground.

"I'm not... I'm not like them. They've got so much power, they've got influence, they've got... a lot. I'm not like them. I'm not..."

Those eyes stayed on the cyan hoof that began to shake.

"I'm not their equal."

Not a word of encouragement was spoken to keep her on that path.

When the head tilted back and sparkling eyes looked though a parted rainbow mane, none were needed.

“Me and my friends aren’t equal, we’re not the same, not even close. And... there's just no way to change that.“

A shaking hoof began to rise.

A far more steady one rose with it, ready to take it.

Closer, and closer, the hoof inched on.

“We won’t ever be equal...”

Until at last, it touched, and magic began to gather between them.

A blue glow reached out like a tendril, prodding at every corner of the room and heading right towards the pair within it. Neither moved away, neither shifted.

Neither were afraid.

"I can't be their equal."

The light was upon them, and it was over.

Rainbow Dash was gone.


Leaving nothing behind but wind.

And a long trail of rainbows.


The purple mane whipped to the side too late, the streak had already vanished off out the door that still remained open, a simple mistake in the flurry of the moment that left her cursing for her foolishness.

"You can't run from this..."

She couldn't quite hear it, yet somehow, she would swore there came a response in the distant echo bouncing off of metal walls. A challenge, somewhere inside.

Whatever may have been said would simply be lost to time.

Buried beneath the sound of a sonic boom that flooded the facility with shimmering rainbows.

"You think that will make you strong enough to break me!?"

Her shield was up, ready for when the split second would end.


It came all too soon, heralding in a symphony of of metal exploding, electricity sparking, the crackle of flames burning bright as they burst forth from all sides of the room before expanding in the enclosed space and the deafening roar of a sonic boom.

Sometime after, when the last painful echo had ceased to bounce off what was left of bent and shattered metal walls, when the last ringing chime finally left ears that had been brutalized and damaged, when the last piece fell, there came a response at last.

"Nope... can't break you, probably."

A breathless, yet smug and cocky response from the mare buried within metal and broken pieces of what had once been the surrounding machinery.

"But I can break your shit pretty good, I think."

The world chose this moment to take notice of the act, as if the facility itself had simply been too slow to keep up with the explosive act.

Little by little, the lights went out.

They listened to the hum of power slowly dwindling, as the energy that had spread far and wide was lost.

"Didn't... see that coming... did you?"

Even in the darkness, with only the dim glow of the light creeping out from the hairline tiny cracks from the pitch black orb in the center of the room, it was visible.

The first real break of the facade that had been held with such care throughout the entire battle. The first real time there was no fake smile, no motherly frown, or even a bit of sorrow.

The first time there was just a disgusted, angry look.

"...You really think those toys matter, compared to the glory that we can bring?"

A look made all the more visible when a light appeared above it, and the room was bathed in a dim blue glow.

"I wanted you to come with us willingly. I hoped you would see... even if it didn't matter. It doesn't matter if you choose to understand now, or in that glory as all are one. You'll understand one way or the other, when you finally see, when you're finally a part of it."


It built to the breaking point, until it seemed her horn would burst at any moment.

"Nothing you've done matters.. in the end."

Even as the unicorn reared her head back and prepared to unleash it all, there was nothing but a serene smile on the blue face.

"It does to me."

Those weary eyes closed, and waited.

The light grew so bright, she could see them even while her eyelids were shut.

"...you all do to me."

Then it went dark.


Those eyes flew back open, wide they could go when they heard the panicked screech of the normally so calm voice.

She wished she hadn't.


Then, at least, she wouldn't have seen it.


Then she wouldn't have to experience he magenta face with chest heaving, mouth wide, breath short. Looking upwards with horrified eyes to the pink hoof wrapped around a curled chunk of metal, some kind of cone that had been a part of one of the many devices from the room.

"I'm setting off one last firework... the premier party pony has to go out with a bang!"

Holding it down with all her might atop the horn that sparked wildly as it's power struggled to be unleashed.


It was too late.

The room went from darkness, to light.

From mere screams to erupting explosions.

From that loud cry, to deathly silent.

All the facility from end to end, for a single minute, was dark, and cold.

Little by little, the lights came back on. Even as the room stayed silent, the warm blue glow returned. Bit by bit, everything returned.

The wide maze became as it had been mere minutes ago.

The room that had been so loud went silent.
>Dash and Pinkie just killed the final boss

Whelp, we can all die happy, Dash just got her own big part in a major arc, and it was great.
You magnificent blue bitch.

I salute you.
>Dashie finally got to do something major

I'm so proud.

Ponka, you might not have been doing the flashy shit, but you stole the show.

Final boss is in the orb, and apparently this didn't even kill power anywhere, everything turned back on.
How funny would it have been if that killed Blue?

Everyone falling about and then Dash just murders the big bad





And Chrysalis.

Don’t forget Chrysalis
I can't believe it. Rainbow Dash is fucking dead. And she never scored.
I know what you meant, but this just looks like you’re an angry bird screaming at him.
You mean Pinkie.
Let's just get this over with

>...you know what? I'm sick of moping! New year, new me! New everything, baby! I'm coming in hot and I'm looking hotter! Look out, world! Spike the dragon is here! And he's... why is there a giant blue thing outside.


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Possibly Glimmer?

...though let's be honest, Glimmer scored. She scored a LOT.

All while screaming FUCK YOU SUNBURST
My god
It can’t be
Say it isn’t so
Game over, /pa/ls, game over!
No fucking way did an update delete a story.

Joe why
Why would you do this
What makes you lieeeeeee
NOT ME! He's just getting a rise out of you! I'm just still waiting though...
What makes you lie
For the record >>31706410 is still simpsons reference, fuck that other guy but I couldn't resist
The joy of crushed hopes... Just, not this time.
Guys I was just making a goof, I’m not Joe


"Huh, what'cha think happened to her?"

'I don't know, maybe she crashed.'

"Why do ya' think that?"

Gently the yellow hoof opens one eye.


~See that?~

She points.

~Classic BSOD.~

"Brother Sploding Overload Disorder."

~Just like in all the science books.~
Hey on the positive side he's not going to explode like half our cast has.
Saving the trouble-

>Applejack feels weird when she gets peared up with Rarity!
Ha haaaa>>31688964
>Spike makes a new resolution.
And it'll go great. >>31706349
>Berry Punch tries to end a fight by smashing a beer bottle over somepony's head.
It won't. >>31704493
>Luna encourages mircotransactions for dreams.
But only for 29 >>31703854
>Scootaloo is still kinda scared of camping.
She really should be! >>31705699
>brand new fanservice!

Still need! >Octavia puts her flamethrower cello to work.
And bump!

>You ready for this?

"Are you?"

>I'm ready.

"I don't think you are."

>I am.



"...you ready?"

>...I super am.

"Then HIT IT!"

In the background, there is revving.


With her cello spitting flame and playing it's tune, they charged the giant blue creature.

Then they died.

And one line recap!

>While Glimmer sends her 'Angels', revealed to be alicorns, to deal with Celly, she, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie battle it out!

Also, gimme juuuust a minute for the new thread, trying to find a good pic and not having much luck.
"Big Mac"

Pap pap pap pap

"Well, hello Shining-whoa now!"

>Hey, Big Mac.


"Huh. You know, this is nothing I've not seen before, or worse, but it still confuses me."

>How so?

"Well, I mean, we're clearly in the wrong territory here."

>Right, but you don't see it.

"I very clearly see a tail wrapped around you and Discord face do-"

>Ap ap ap! No describing!


>It's how we get past the censors. Like, we know what's happening here, but since we don't say it...

"Really? It's just that simple?"


>He gets it.


>So, were you hoping for screentime next? Want another go?



"I am loyal to my bugbando, thank you very much! My dark flanks are for that alone! HMRPH!"

Offended, Sombra turns up his nose and stomps out, jingling a little collar on his neck the whole way.


~Why aren't you faithful to me, Shining?~

>Because you're a filthy dirty thing and you love it.

~Ohhhh yes I doooOOOOOOH YES GO DEEP!~

>Guess you're getting more screentime next thread!
NEWWWW THREAD! >>31706730
Making it okay PP anon?
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Trying to. I'm debating whether or not I want to make prophecies related to the anniversary.
>m debating whether or not I want to make prophecies related to the anniversary.
That is a very good question..
Pinkie Preview

> While Glimmer sends her 'Angels', which were revealed to be alicorns, to deal with Celly, she, Rainbow Dash and I battle it out!

>Applejack has many questions. I just want a good night's sleep. A tummy ache is all future Spike's problem. Rarity's winter fashion is still in style. Celestia has been keeping secret trapdoors. Cadence uses cook and it's super effective! Can the Crusader's tale get any more epic? Find out what happens next time on thread 230:The 4th Anniversary...and of course remembering fanservice!

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