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There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

Dancing in the rain Edition.

A collection of miscellaneous greens since the first thread.
https://pastebin.com/0JMPM6F8

Old thread
>>31644798
>>
>>31661048
Look at that guard. The smug bastard. You know he's getting some of dat sunhorse pussy.
>>
>>31661048

Mares a cute.

CUTE!
>>
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>>31661061
>first post is heresy
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Thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3x9mZWlfbZs
>>
>>31661066
There are enough lonely mares in the world for stallions AND men.
>>
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>>31661049
>he wouldnt enjoy being a human head on a duck for a bit.
>he couldnt deal with the occasional prank.

Thinking about it a bit, how many people exist that would be
A) Compatible with fluttershy
and
B) Able to be friends with discord and deal with his shenanigans.
I may have less competition than i thought.
>>
>>31661072
This. Stallions are our allies in the war against THOTs.
>>
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>>31661076
Right? Just gotta learn to roll with the punches and Discord would be great. Even if you do think you'd have trouble handling him, Fluttershy would be worth it. She'd also give Discord some stern words should he go overboard and he'd fold like a wet paper tower.
>>
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>>31661048
>Dancing in the rain
>>
>>31661077
>you will never shoot the shit with your stallion buddies about the wonders of mare pussy and how perfect your little mares are over a mug of cider down at the local Equestrian pub
>>
>>31661087
>Mares are the perfect lovers, stallions are the perfect drinking buddies.
I'm okay with this.
>>
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>>31661027
yes
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>>31661102
I'd ask him to power me up when the next big bad comes to town, then we can both cruise out to fuck with him before the mane six get there.
>>
>>31661087
>>31661095

>little mares are so pure and innocent they don't get mad when you're out half the night drinking with your stallion pals
>the concept of "cheating" is entirely foreign and never even crosses her mind
>she trusts your stallion friends to keep you safe no matter how much cider you have
>she wakes up at 2:00 in the morning to the rapping of a hoof on her front door
>opens it to find a big red stallion standing there with her silly ape draped over his back
>she gives a little giggle
>"did my silly 'nonny go overboard again?"
>the stallion nods and chuckles with an "eeyup" as he carries you inside and she helps him set you up on the couch
>tucks you in nice and comfy with a blanket and big glass of water on the endtable next to you, along with a waste can in case you get sick
>kisses your forehead and escorts your stallion buddy out before climbing back into bed with a happy sigh
>>
>>31661048
Remember: Mares only.
>>
>>31661124

Oh sweet lordy lord that is adorable.
>>
>>31661124
>trying to drink a stallion under the table
that was Anon's first mistake
>>
>>31661123
He would give you something silly like un-toggle-able intangibility
>>
>>31661160
Sounds fun.
>>
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>>31661124
>>
>>31661124
Would she nurse my stupid ass back to health the next day, though?
>>
>>31661210
Of course she would. She loves you.
>>
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>>31661129
>>
>>31661210
>>31661214
>would she nurse my stupid ass back to health

Yes, she would. Literally. She'd climb up on the couch next to you and hike up a hind leg to give you access to her teats. Turns out mare's milk is one of the best remedies in the world for hangovers.
>>
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>>31661206
>>
>>31661236
>FoE
>dykeshit
way to fucking ruin the thread
>>
>>31661230
Now that's just silly
>>
>>31661240
Maybe she's just using that as an excuse to get you to suck her teats because she's too ashamed to admit it's her fetish.
>>
>>31661243
>Physical pleasure
>fetish
am I missing something
>>
>>31661245
to innocent little mares any sex acts that don't directly result in foals are probably fetishized or considered deviant
>>
>>31661256

>tfw hoofholding results in marecum splashing on the floor moments after such an act
>>
>>31661256
>>31661260
>walking down the street with your cute little mare
>reach down and give her ear a quick scratch
>arrested for public lewdness
>>
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>>31661256
>>31661260
>>31661267
I would be okay with this. Very okay.
>>
>>31661267
Fuck sure why not
better not sun bathe
or eat strawberries with chocolate
or utilize an ac unit
>>
>>31661280
Do they have AC in Equestria? Also, what?
>>
>>31661236
Thats not even the same mare.
>>
>>31661291
There's no need for AC in Equestria, the pegasisis' control the weather. Ignoring winter, I guess, but then fireplaces can do the trick.
>>
>>31661291
AC is a tool of the patriarchy.
>>
>>31661303
piss off Anon
we don't even use that "term" jokingly around here
>>
>>31661291
Arrested for an ear scratch sounds like there is a taboo on all forms of physical gratification, which would extend to the other things I mentioned, especially the feeling of the sun on your skin.
>>
>>31661305
>Watches show with literal matriarchy
>we don't even tell jokes using the word patriarchy
sure
>>
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>>31661305
Hello "no fun allowed" Anon, how are you today?
>>
>>31661312
>>31661314
I bet mare would welcome a shift to a patriarchy. They know their place. Being dominated and protected by big strong males is exactly what they want and need.
>>
>>31661341
>I'm sure causing a massive paradigm shift in a utopia could have no negative consequences
(You)
>>
>>31661341
So, you know that feeling that was expressed earlier about "not turnign this thread into X problamatic thing"?
Yeah, I'm feeling a bit of that now.
>>
>>31661347
>implying perfect little mares don't have a deep-seated desire to be model little 50's housewives for their men
>>
>unironically using words like "patriarchy" and "problematic"
I want SJWs to go back to plebit
>>
>patriarchy
oh boi here we go

Let them keep their current government, then just live a balanced lifestyle with your mare. If you get to wear the pants in the relationship, woopti freaking doo.
>>
>>31661376
My mare doesn't get to wear pants.
>>
>>31661374
As per usual with this accusation, I've literally never been there. Generally I don't bother correcting. Know that most of the time, nobody else bothers to correct you either.

I could kind of see the idea of problematic being some political ploy word, but patriarchy is an actual thing.
>>
>>31661357
submissive mares make my dick rock hard
>>
>>31661390
Mares make my dick rock hard
>>
>>31661386
>patriarchy is an actual thing.

If you truly believe power has anything to do with race or gender you're a brainwashed imbecile.
>>
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>>31661341
Well, at the very least I bet Celestia or Luna would enjoy handing control over to their mates in the privacy of their bedrooms. They'd probably enjoy being able to lay back and let whatever happens happen.
>>
>>31661397
here you go
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy#History_and_origin_of_modern_patriarchy

but, more importantly
>>31661341
here you go
>>
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>>31661374
>unironically
It was a joke you autist.
>>
>>31661412
I could see the princesses getting off on being hobbled and bridled, bound all over by tight leather straps, maybe even whipped a little while their mate services them.
>>
>>31661415
>ass-pulling some bullshit from a website with a known liberal bias
>Wikipedia being a reliable source for anything
>ever
Try harder, anon.
>>
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>>31661423
>maybe even whipped a little
I don't know if I could handle whipping my mate. I'd spank her though.
>>
>>31661432
A riding crop wouldn't cause any lasting harm.
>>
>>31661432
>most powerful being in Equestria
>expects poise and dignity in public
>behind closed doors however, she revels in surrendering her power, being your loveslave, subject to your every whim
unf
>>
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>>31661444
And I'd use every moment of it to turn her into my sweet little spoon and love on her endlessly.
>>
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There's not a day that goes by without me wishing to feel her warm, fuzzy embrace.
>>
>>31661415
The "patriarchal societies" were in place because men actually are able to do shit & primitive pre-historic man didn't have a concept of the marxist bullshit peddled today, and saw things at face value; women are inferior, in every way from muscle density to smarts. Luckily, mares aren't like that
>>
>>31661473
Ok, cool; that means that they existed enough for patriarchy to "be a thing", which is all I claimed.
>>
>>31661456
>that position
Do you think little mares would enjoy vigorous belly rubs?
>>
>>31661492

I would turborub a mare's belly.
>>
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>>31661492
>>31661500
They'd enjoy teat rubs too.
>>
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>>31661509
>getting belly rubs and having your teats played with when you can't even remember the last time you were even touched in a positive way
>bust an ovary on the spot and embarrass yourself into a coma
>>
>>31661535

Be still, my dong.
>>
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>>31661535
>sitting there frozen in place with your hands still on her belly and teats, she still convulsing and arching her back as her mare-hood soaks the bed underneath her
>as she comes down from her orgasmic high, her dreamy look quickly changes into a mortified one
>a high pitched whine comes from her as tears start to fill her eyes before she, almost drunkenly, reaches out for a nearby pillow to cover her face from you with, her shame turning her cheeks a vibrant red
>>
>>31661563
>>
>>31661563
Did she piss on the bed?
I would be ashamed too.
>>
What if your little mare insists on marking you every morning before you leave the house? After all, how will all the other mares know you're off limits if you don't bear her scent?
>>
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>>31661535
>>31661563
>"Is this your fetish" fluttershy except her anon isnt gay and she doesnt know what to do next.
Fund it.
>>
>>31661814
Define "marking"
>>
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>>31661835
>working all the pent up sexual aggression and lust out of her and she becomes pretty chill
>>
>>31661857
Vigorously rubbing her sex all over your pants leg with a couple little squirts of pheromone laden urine for good measure.
>>
>>31661857
>>31661863
>his wife doesn't vigorously rub the sides of her head along his legs and chest to make sure the smell of her hair and body oil isn't infused into his outfits
pones is cats
>>
>>31661048
>There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.


State of Wisconsin disagrees with you, asshole!
>>
>>31661878

We had this shitpost yesterday.
>>
>>31661878
Thomasfag is that you?
>>
>tfw no second in command Lieutenant mare to sleep with help you suit up before your space plane flights and assist in pre-flight checks and checklist reading
>>
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>>31661974
>tfw it doesn't go through
4chan is niggers
>>
>>31661509
>>31661535
>>31661563

please someone make it happen
>>
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>>31661994
I'm trying anon but it turns out trying to construct an interdimensional portal without attracting oppotunistic spirits or getting the attention of the jews is pretty hard.
If i had a specially constructed ritual chamber and a group watching my astral back while i worked i could probably navigate a path through the aether and collapse a brief tunnel to equestria into the physical.
>>
>>31661979

I miss you, NASApone...
>>
>>31662018
Hey, I know a guy who could get that chamber up
His crew are chinese so it'd be pretty cheap
/x/ and /k/ could probably help with spirits and jews.
>>
>>31661357
What if your waifu wanted to be equals with you?
What if she wanted you to be a househusbando?
>>
>>31662080
What if?
>>
>>31662073
What about the astral jews?
>>
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>>31661979
And then the F thread gets deleted as well. We truly have the greatest mods in existence, no doubt.
>>
>>31661883
>We had this shitpost yesterday.

Not a shitpost you broney faggot.
Two years probation, monthly psychiatric visits and a $2,500 fine. Fucking assfags.
>>
>>31662160
Stop shoving toy trains up your anus. That's not healthy.
>>
>>31662018
What exactly is it that you need, then? Like, two guys with baseball bats?
>>
>>
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>>31662365
KISS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CLITORIS
>>
>>31662073
>Chinese crew
Wouldnt work senpai, the room needs to be imbued with energy during construction and thats pretty impossible without a soul.
It's the type of difference between something hand made and mass produced.

>>31662211
Specifics still need to be worked out, but those two guys would helpful to keep normies away although if you know a couple guys who can project their bats into the astral it'd be pretty good.
For the chamber itself it'd have to form a magically neutral zone, essentially declare everything inside it offlimits to casual interference and protect it from directed influence.
We'd need an quite a bit of Earth's most common elements to serve as an anchor for our side, Hydrogen, helium etc, but in order to serve as said anchor they'd need to be in a somewhat stable state, solid would be best but that's for all practical purposes impossible as far as i know for those two elements alone.
A tentative idea is to use an elemental configuation so that the inherent instability of gas and liquid is offset by the inherent balance that comes when all are in play, so at the four cardinal points you'd have liquid hydrogen for Water, helium for Air, carbon(?) for Fire, gold(?) for Earth and a person meditating in the center focused for Spirit.
No less than three people arranged triangularly are required to protect the participants from astral hazards.
With all this in play, the tunneler is free to concentrate fully on equestria and locate an appropriate spot for the portal.
When one is found, a sterile specially cleared spot in the room can be modified to be 'close enough' to it's equestrian counterpart so that the tunneler can nudge it towards a sympathetic quantum reaction, meaning that what happens to A will happen to B simultainiously.
Stepping into the area at that point while thinking of equestria should theoretically collapse you into that side of the portal, due to our inherent ability to collapse such paradoxal states through mere observation.
>>
>>31662408
>>31662365
>He's resisting.
Her anon may be a changeling or be contracting the gay, she should get him checked regardless.
>>
>>31656221

>Returning to rest, you had...
>Strange dreams that night.
>Nothing that would render your mind incapable of sane thought or anything.
>All you could describe it as was just strange.
>You were at the pier of Horseshoe Bay, just going for a stroll by yourself.
>It was incredibly foggy out that day, though you can't remember how far your field of vision went before it was entirely obscured.
>Eventually, a pony hailed you, initiating conversation.
>You couldn't quite tell what they looked like.
>Their voice was decidedly mare-like, if a bit peculiar.
>Their features were impossible for you to remember, no matter how hard you tried to recall.
>It was akin to sand passing through your fingers when you returned to the waking world.
>The conversation that occurred in your dreams was just as enigmatic for your drowsy mind.
>However, you could remember bits and pieces, unlike this dream mare.
>At the start, it was about life in general.
>How it had been for you, and whatnot.
>After a while, it took a turn towards more...intimate matters.
>Discussions of family, and what it meant to have.
>Family was something you were passionate about now, and your words equally so.
>The rest was a blur for you.
>The last memory you had of this dream was the genuine confusion of this dream mare.
>As though they didn't understand entirely what the concepts were.
>They thanked you for your time, and the dream ended there.
>What it meant, you could not fathom.
>When you woke up, you heard little hooves gently clacking against the floor.
>Just who might be awake and walking around?
>Insight was still in bed with you, sleeping cozily.
>You thanked your lucky stars she didn't have another nightmare that night.
>Next thing you heard, when the hoofsteps stopped, two little teal-green eyes peered into your room.
>It was Sandlight, her short, vivid orange mane contrasting with both the Prussian blue of her coat and her eyes.
>"Papa? Can I come in?"
>Conscientious and polite as ever.
>>
>>31662470

>You nod, gesturing for you little angel to come into the room.
"Sure thing, honey, come right on in."
>As Sandlight made her way in, two things popped out to you.
>One, she had band-aids pockmarking her forelegs.
>Two, she was carrying something on her back that her little wings obscured.
>For now, you were more concerned about why she had so many band-aids applied on her forelegs.
"Sandlight, honey, what happened to you? Are you alright?"
>You began to get out of bed, worried as could be for the foal's health.
>"They're just cuts, Papa...they aren't too bad..."
>Sandlight said, guilt in her voice.
>What might she have to be guilty about?
>Had she done something that got her hurt?
"How did you get them, Sandlight? Tell me the truth..."
>You tried to not sound too stern with her, but you were worried.
>Fathers didn't want their little angels to get themselves hurt.
>Sandlight sighed, looking away from you as she began to tell the truth.
>"Papa, I was up when you and Momma were...you looked sad, so I made a present for you..."
>She had your attention.
"That's...very sweet of you, but how did that get you all cut up?"
>As she is discussing this with you, your wife was beginning to wake up.
>Probably because you weren't there beside her and cuddling her at the moment.
>"Well, Papa...I...used a knife to make it..."
>She whispered that last part, but you could make it out.
>You felt a bit disappointed, and also somewhat curious of just what she needed a knife for.
"Honey..."
>Sandlight shrank a bit at your words, which did make you feel a little bad.
>Parental concerns for your child did take precedent, however.
>Soon, your mare was awake, questioning why her little foal had looked like she had a bad run-in with a whirlwind fury of papercuts.
>Insight was always a bit...overprotective.
>The first foal she had, one she never expected to ever have.
>Would you feel the same way about your little angel?
>You suspected you kinda would, after so long in loneliness.
>>
>>31662477

>And, to be honest, you did catch yourself feeling quite protective.
>After making double-triple sure that her daughter was not suffering any deathly ailments and that her cuts were not severe, she properly dressed them.
>Sandlight did know how to apply bandages, but making sure they were properly disinfected mattered, too.
>Insight did gently chastise the foal, wanting Sandlight to know that she should be much more careful.
>The present she had made was all wrapped up, not letting you know what it was immediately.
>Sandlight had to set it down before her mother dragged her off to make sure she was okay.
>When she returned, she asked with all the sweetness in her heart if she could show it to both of you.
>With a cute voice like that, and those bright little eyes, you couldn't deny her.
>She picked up the small present with her hooves, and presented it to you.
>Undoing the little ribbon, you marvel at how well she wrapped the present.
>You would question how a foal of her age could master the grand art of wrapping.
>Such skills required ascribing yourself to the monastic order of Merry Chrysler.
>It took years of skill to get as good as this.
>Ponelandia was ever more confusing for you.
>As the ribbons fell to the sides, you lifted the top off.
>You wondered what she put inside that called for all this fanciful wrapping.
>You were due to find out.
>After the top was all the way off, you looked inside.
>It was made of wood, and you weren't certain what it may be from this top-down view.
>Utilizing the power of human digits, you pull this wooden gift free from its gift-wrapped housing.
>It was a wooden heart, with a little engraving.
>It read, 'Momma + Papa'.
>Of course, her 'hoof'writing was scratchy at this young age.
>Running your fingers over it, it had been nicely carved.
>You couldn't feel sharp edges from using a knife to chip off wood.
>It was very smooth.
>Granted, you weren't a woodworker, you were a math teacher.
>Still, it was quite impressive.
>>
>>31662486

>You couldn't hide your smile.
>These ponies, man.
>They knew just how to touch your heart the best.
>Coming from the very daughter you and Insight brought into the world, it was priceless.
>You gestured your beloved wife over, showing her just what Sandlight had made.
>"Sandlight, my precious daughter...was this what you required a knife for?"
>The foal nodded, still feeling a bit guilty about frightening the two of you with her wounds.
>"Yes, Momma...do you like it?"
>Sandlight nervously asked Insight, not sure if her mother would approve.
>The next thing she knew, Insight had enveloped her little one in a warm, motherly embrace of happiness.
>"Sandlight, daughter of mine, I do not possess a heart that would allow myself to be angry with you...your gift is very welcome, and wholly appreciated."
>In case your little angel didn't understand the much bigger words Insight liked to throw around in her vocabulary, you chime in.
"That's her way of saying she loves it, honey. We both do. Just promise us you'll be more careful with things like this, okay?"
>That sure helped to cheer her up.
>Seeing your daughter's smile and subsequent perking-up was another gift sent from heaven.
>"I promise, Papa!"
>Atta girl.
>You'd rather not have a panic attack every morning because your daughter is just as shit as you when it came to handling knives.
>She did have a knack for this sort of thing, though...
>A dim flash of light, and a surprised look from Sandlight cut your musings short.
>It was found out moments later just what that was.
>Your little angel earned her cutie mark that day.
>It was a wood chisel over a heart (presumably made of wood, if you were going by the coloring).
>Going off this, she was likely to grow into a woodworker.
>You were a bit curious as to why it was a wood chisel, despite her not having worked with one before.
>You guessed the cosmic forces of fate thought that a knife over a heart wasn't as indicative of her talent.
>>
>>31662492

>Regardless of these musings, it was certainly a happy time.
>This was one of those occasions that Insight damn-near squealed in delight for.
>This was a major event in every pone's life.
>It decided what their talents would be, and the future they'd embark on.
>Not necessarily something you were used to in human culture, that's for sure.
>Insight was quite right to be as excited as she was.
>Today would most certainly be filled with celebration.

Brand new update, straight from the greentext factory. Just sign here, here, and here.
Pastebin for those of you who need it: https://pastebin.com/8EPf7h9H
>>
>>31662470
Oh shit, was he having a conversation with the freaky eldritch creature through his dreams?
>>
>>31662509
>and thus, voidpone was born
>a bubbly, girly tentacle of the Elder Beast spawned so it could understand that conversation
>>
>>31661148
I would think most men would have a higher tolerance of alcohol than ponies.
>>
>>31662018
Dude, /nmp/ could totally make that happen if you weren’t such a bullshitter. There’s still CERN at least, but I’m fairly certain staninists are in on it like that switzerland presentation.
>>
>>31662432
>we'd need common earth elements for an anchor
So should I give that chinese crew a call after all?
>>
>>31661814
If this involves her rubbing her tuft, muzzle or just body in general over me every morning to claim me then I can't even express in words the hardness of my dick however it could very easily cut through diamonds were it made into a blade.

Is it wrong to love the idea of your little mare rubbing up against your naked body like a cat marking you with her sweet scent?
>>
>>31661878
This shitpost every thread here's your (You) now begone.
>>
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>>31662799
In all seriousness my dabbles into the occult are more than a passing interest but less of a hobby, i simply dont have the time to devote towards those topics that it deserves.
If we got organised towards such i'd pitch it what i could but we're probably going to have to wait for the equestrian side of things to make first contact.

>>31662807
Depends if they're okay with their bones used as foundation i guess.

>>31662876
If thats wrong then i dont ever want to be right.
>tfw lost the Twilight version of this
>>
>>31660959
Fluttershy is the most attractive of the M6, canon.
There was literally an episode where she was grabbed off the street and drafted into modeling because she's so hot.
>>
>>31662906
And, believe it or not, some people don't want to sleep with others purely based on looks.
>>
>>31662936
>tfw between the flutterrape posters, the cuckposters and assorted shitposters only the diehard flutterfags remain.
>only a fraction of them would honestly be able to deal with discord and her animal friends shenanigans.
Not that i'm complaining, but its kinda sad that a 10/10 mare is passed over so much, although i'm obviously biased.
>>
>>31663054
I'm an applefag, personally, so I'm well acquainted with one's favorite pony being passed over.
>>
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Derpy story when?
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>>31662498
If this doesn't get a happy ending I'm going postal
>>
>>31662498
She's growing up so fast, *sniff*.
>>
>>31663083
There was one, though it involved her being saved from an abusive husband.
There was a different one started at some point with her mixing in personal letters and gifts into your mail as well.
>>
>>31663121
anyone have the link to the mail story?
>>
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>>31662887

Not a shitpost you dumb brony fucktard.
I got caught, the State said I was crazy, and now I have to go to a psychiatrist every month just because I want to fuck a horse. That's bullshit.
>>
>>31662936
Don't get me wrong: I hate Fluttershy, but I'm also skeptical of the idea that someone would find her physically unattractive.
>>
>>31663196
Objectively she probably is, but she's not to my tastes.
>>
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>>31663194
Then stop hopping fences. Either that or run next time.
>>
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>>31663196
>I hate Fluttershy
Pretty strong negative emotion over the kindest mare around.
>>
>>31661256

This probably means she'll eventually be swinging from the chandeliers and buying the stripper-pole and mirrors for the bedroom.
>>
>>31663194
You are intentionally equating attraction of ponies to attraction of horses and we all know this and that's the joke and it's marginally funny but you are also being wrong very loudly and that's kinda disgusting. You're being vile and looking for validation while also attempting to trigger thin-skinned morons.

Well, just like moralfagging, degeneracyfagging is dumb bullshit which isn't appropriate here because I don't know you and you don't know me and your emotional problems and life choice problems are your own.

Choke into unconsciousness on my or a horses cock.
>>
>>31663254
60 years of dutifully taking the D in missionary and preforming your societal function like a robot will foster both boredom and disillusionment with the system.
>>
>>31663279

Boredom is the mother of invention. Also, messy divorce.

Could go either way here.
>>
>>31663296
Well, can you better see 60 year old fluttershy buying and using strange sexual paraphernalia, or can you instead better see her resenting her husband for these things and eventually going lesbian so that she can intentionally physically, mentally, and sexually abuse some other mare?

I think it really depends on how open her husband is. This is all to say that the same man that demands purity is the man who won't be a valid confidant or comrade in her discontent will cause mean lebo-shy. Does that sound right?
>>
>>31663332
>I think it really depends on how open her husband is. This is all to say that the same man that demands purity is the man who won't be a valid confidant or comrade in her discontent will cause mean lebo-shy. Does that sound right?


I think it does.
>>
>>31663247
She's just such a cloying moeblob; I can't stand it.
I'm sure if we met I'd be able to resist my urge to stuff her into a locker and steal her lunch money, and we'd get along fine (as long as I never needed to depend on her for anything important), but I don't think I could be friends with a Flutterfag; being drawn to that sort of pony feels like an expression of a serious underlying character flaw to me - it makes me suspicious.
>>
>>31663279
>>31663296
>>31663332
Fuck, guys, when did we end up back on Earth? That shit doesn't happen in ponyland.
>>
>>31663339
its impossible for these faggots to actually imagine a loving relationship that works
>>
>>31663347
It's really sad that we're all so broken.
>>
>>31663360
cant we atleast pretend that we could function in a relationship? is that not the dream?
>>
>>31661878
Well, then those cheddar chomping chimps can fuck right off!
>>
>>31663347

Jokes on you, I barely even believe in the concept of love anymore.

No, I don't know why I'm here either. Maybe I feed on the hopes of others? I'm a vampire I guess. Fuck.
>>
I would love and worship any mare I was set up with. I think my anxiety and constantly feeling like I don't deserve her would slowly destroy our relationship though until she couldn't take it anymore and left me.
>>
>>31663386

>love vampire
Changeling detected.
>>
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>>31663392
squash the bugs
>>
I'm drunk, so forgive me for what I wrote.
It's kinda an unofficial"addon" to Insight's story, so it's not "canon".
Enjoy anyway.

~~~

>Blackness...
>Nothingness...
>An endless void...
>And you...
>You falling through it.
>Nothing but the occasional, weirdly gleaming star to focus your gaze on.
>Where in all the gods your kin worships are you?
>The last thing you remember was going to bed and now... Now you're here.
>Wherever that might be.
>Is this a dream?
>You can't tell...
>No thought can anchor itself in your mind.
>It...
>It feels kinda soothing, to be honest.
>You don't have to worry about anything.
>Every worry, every concern you might once have had are... They are just gone.
>Vanished into the same vast emptiness you're currently falling through.
>How... How incredibly nice.
>”Are you enjoying the realm my master has crafted, human?”
>W-What?!
>Did something just speak to you?
>”Indeed I have.”
>Who is this?
>”My name is not of your concern, human. Just know that I serve the same master your wife does.”
>Your wife? Does it mean... Insight?
>>
>>31663392
>>31663402
>one Anon so far gone he's emitting negative love values
>gets matched with Chrysalis
>her constant attempts to get genuine affection out of him eventually start pulling genuine affection out of her
>they both reach a null-state where they hit the baseline love values of a normal pony-anon couple
>but by then they've gotten so used to each other they don't split up
>Chrysalis gets a hubby, Anon rediscovers love
>nubug chrysalis doesn't change color, just has her holes filled in
>>
>”Yes. The very same mare you've lost your heart to many moons ago.”
>W-What?
>What does it want?!
>”Oh... Do not worry, human. I'm not here to take anything away from.”
>You hear a bellowing laughter resounding around you.
>”At least not now or for too long.”
>Anger begins to well up in your stomach and you shout into the darkness around you.
>”It has reached my master's ears that your union with the mare you call Insight has finally bore fruit.”
>Something you can't see suddenly brings your fall to a halt and you see a malformed grin forming in the blackness in front of you, it's sharp teeth shining like small stars against the void.
>”And, whilst it be unbeknownst to you, she promised my master a certain something.”
>Dozens of eyes, all glowing in colours you can't describe, slowly manifest themselves around the misshapen maw one by one, gazing all at you.
>>31663430
>”An apprentice. Someone to spread his knowledge and legacy to other worlds and dimensions.”
>N-No...
>”Yes!”, the invisible being bellows, “And since your wife was unable to do that, her offspring will have to carry her burden instead.”
>That's not fair!
>”That might be...”, it titters, its invisible appendages stroking your cheek, “But a deal is a deal, and you would be advised to listen to me carefully now.”
>Something incredibly cold touches your forehead and floods your mind with images of indescribable horrors.
>>
>>31663433
This is beautiful and I love you for it.
>>
>>31663436
>”The day your daughter reaches the age of sixteen, the age of maturity, I will pay your little family a visit. Make sure she is ready to leave by then.”
>Ready to leave? W-What does it mean?
>”No friends, no soulmate, no nothing to distract her. That is what I mean. For one thousand years, her whole existence shall be dedicated to my master.”
>A thousand years?
>”Yes.”, it giggles, “But do not despair, since the absence of your daughter shan't feel longer than a year for you or your dear wife.”
>As suddenly as the maw and the eyes appeared, they vanish again, leaving you alone in the endless void that surrounds you again.
>”My master isn't cruel... He just wishes to be remembered. You can understand that, can't you?”
>You.. You can.
>Even if you aren't sure that you have a choice in that matter right now.
>”Wonderful.”
>A strong force suddenly yanks you upwards, rapidly dragging you to from where you started falling.
>”Now...”, the otherworldly voice mumbles, “Don't forget to tell your soulmate.”
>You hear another bellowing laughter.
>”Lest she forgets what bargain she made all these dying stars ago.”

~~~

That's it.
>>
>>31663338
>just a moe-blob
Is her casual snark really that forgettable?
"I'm a year older than you." ring any bells?
Or the fact she's legitimately friends with discord and actively enjoys his crazy bullshit?
She's shy but she's not a oe shaped doormat anon.
Though i hated the journal episode for multiple reasons, there was a part in it which specifically addressed this.
>>
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>>31663338
>being drawn to that sort of pony feels like an expression of a serious underlying character flaw to me - it makes me suspicious.
...what? How do you even get that from someone liking a cute, perfect housewife of a mare?
>>
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>>31663438
you're welcome
>>
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>>31663392
I prefer the term 'lovebug.'
>>
>>31663448
chrysalis is patron saint of retards
>>
>>31663391
You don't deserve her. You are fucking scum. She'll never be happy with you, who the fuck are you trying to kid? What the hell could such a perfect and beautiful creature ever see in a worthless
piece of shit like you? The best thing you could possibly do for her, if you love her, is stay the fuck out of her life. Let her be with someone who actually CAN make her happy. God you're so fucking selfish and pathetic for wanting to saddle some poor mare with yourself for the rest of her life just to make yourself happy.
>>
>>31663453
in a good way tho
>>
>>31663347
Who says I can't?

If we do not acknowledge the structural flaws in our fantasy, then we train ourselves to seek out and replicate flawed strategies. I think of the emotional weaknesses of 60 year old fluttershy because I wish to avoid the pitfalls of 60 year old Debra, my future hypothetical 3DPD wife and life partner who fluttershy is really just an explicitly fictionalized stand in for. That this is all play and games does not mean that it is meaningless. This is my chance, now, while there are no repercussions. Now is when I can fuck up. Now is when I can think clearly. Now is when I can earn my pure relationship. Else, you'll get what you get and you can just toss a fitIt's now, or it's later. I have to pick, or I have to get lucky.
>>
>>31663440
Well then, that's pretty dark.
>>
>>31663454
I'm sad now.
>>
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>>31663454
the truth hurts
t-thanks anon
>>
>>31663454
>She'll never be happy with you
I mean, that's what he said, too
>>
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>>31663441
Could you imagine, months from your first meeting when you first came over, being comfortable enough with and around each other to snark and joke around.
Imagine Fluttershy being so calm around you, so at peace that she could lay across your lap and playfully give you lip, earning her a vicious tickling for her insolence.
>>
>The mysterious killer of Manehattan's history has come back
>The unnamed pony that kills on the clock, and leaves bodies in specific formations in specific scenes
>Some say by fate or a cruel wish
>Others say by dark magics
>With the body count rising, a copycat killer is blamed, if only the hoofprints weren't an exact match of the mare from a century ago
>>
>>31663527
I think you're in the wrong thread, pal.
>>
>>31663433
>nubug chrysalis doesn't change color, just has her holes filled in
All night long, ohhh yeahhh.
>>
>>31663270

Just because I want to have sex with a horse does not mean that I am somehow a deviant. If anyone would understand that I would think you horsefucking brony assholes would understand.
>>
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>>31663538
oh my
>>
>>31663522
>trade quips with fluttershy
>irl shiposting with discord
>going full gordon ramsey on angel
>living in relative harmony with a bunch of animals which includes a fucking grizzly.
Yes excuse me sir you seem to have found my personal heaven, when does the flight leave?
>>
>>31663558
I literally made no statement on your level of sexual deviancy, or on your sexuality at all. "disgusting" and "vile" are referring to something else. Read it again, or don't.
>>
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>>31663575
Oh I know that feel too well. The peaceful, quiet life at the edge of the woods with Fluttershy would be perfect. Aside from the occasional Discord shenanigans. Those would be fun too.
>>
I hope my little mare really likes having her ass and pussy eaten and her teats suckled, I'd have my mouth on some part of her body pretty much constantly.
>>
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>>31663626
Even her neck?
What about her ear?
>>
Horses tend to let out a lot of gas when they're comfortable and content. How would you handle it if your mare was the same way? You'd have to crack a window every time you cuddle.
>>
>>31663453

Well, I adore her, and I'm retarded. So yeah?
>>
>>31663642
I would chew, suck, and nibble those parts too, yes.
>>
>>31663527
>>The mysterious killer of Manehattan's history has come back
>>The unnamed pony that kills on the clock, and leaves bodies in specific formations in specific scenes
>>Some say by fate or a cruel wish
>>Others say by dark magics
>>With the body count rising, a copycat killer is blamed, if only the hoofprints weren't an exact match of the mare from a century ago

Did you confuse a thread or something?
>>
>>31663645
If you really love your mare her bodily functions wouldn't gross you out. You'd laugh it off and keep cuddling.
>>
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>>31663441
>her casual snark toward her friends when they're protecting her from bullies
>her enjoyment of the harmless capering of her pet chaos elemental
I'm not impressed.

>>31663446
>how can you even get that from someone wanting a mare who's completely nonthreatening and will never, ever stand up for herself unless you back her into a corner and deliberately push her until she snaps
Gee, I wonder.

It's not as bad now that most of the OG writers are gone and nobody gives a shit anymore, but she just rubs me the wrong way.
She's like the opposite of a waifu for me.
>>
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>>31663672
>>how can you even get that from someone wanting a mare who's completely nonthreatening and will never, ever stand up for herself unless you back her into a corner and deliberately push her until she snaps
>Gee, I wonder.
Gee, that might've been relevant literally entire seasons ago, but that is no longer the case.
>>
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>>31663645
Little ponies aren't horses.
>>
>>31663664
This. If you can't walk into the bathroom and take a shower after she stinks it up to high heaven without complaining and reaching for air freshener, I have serious doubts about your dedication to her and love for her.
>>
>>31663708
>without complaining and reaching for air freshener
Now that's just silly. Any normal person would maybe wait an extra five minutes for the bathroom to air out before showering.
>>
>>31663708
Unironically this. Even human couples that have become comfortable with each other will often share the bathroom (i.e one shaving or showering while the other shits). If men can do it with 3dpd you have literally zero excuse not to get used to your little mare's scents and odors.
>>
>Unironicly letting fart fetishists in here.
>>
>>31663723
I shovel horse shit every day so I've become nose blind to the smell. This wouldn't be an issue for me.
>>
>>31663735
I don't see anyone fetishizing it anon. But freaking out over normal bodily functions is a sure fire sign you don't really love your mare.
>>
>>31663745
If you aren't comfortable enough to burp and fart in front of each other what the fuck are you even doing together in the first place?
>>
>>31663745
>"How can you say you love your waifu if you don't love the smell of her farts?"
Please go and stay gone.
>>
>>31663756
Just because it happens doesn't mean we need to go into detail about it.
>>
>>31663757
I never said love the smell. I said tolerate. If you legitimately get angry at your mare for passing gas around you, you don't fucking deserve her. Your relationship will fucking crumble when it faces an actual challenge.
>>
>>31663682
>that might've been relevant literally entire seasons ago
Sarcastically, I'm sure that a lot of Flutterfags only started waifuing her recently, after writer apathy blunted the edges of all her defining personality traits.
They definitely didn't fall for her within the first half-dozen or so episodes of the show and stick by her out of habit.

On the other side of the coin, guess when I formed my opinion of Yellowquiet?
Yes, she's developed as a character since S1, but I still fundamentally dislike her out of habit.
I never said my feeling was rational or calculated, and I explicitly compared it to the feelings people have for their waifus, which are often hard to explain and subject to post hoc rationalization.
Fluttershy's my anti-waifu, and I'm dropping the subject because this isn't the thread for arguing about whose waifu is or isn't a shit.
Here, have a cute Flutterfamily pic as a peace offering.
>>
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>>31661457
>pic
>>
>>31663771
This. If you freak out over a fart how the hell are you ever going to be able to change your foals' diapers?
>>
>>31663778
>after writer apathy blunted the edges of all her defining personality traits.
You keep saying this, but it's character progression. She was a shy shut in. She is no longer a shy shut in. What is hard to understand about this? She's had episode after episode detailing her overcoming her shy, doormat personality and becoming more outgoing.
>>
>>31663788
Oh that's easy. She'll change all the diapers.
>>
>>31663793
>not sharing equal responsibility caring for your foals
Fucking deadbeat.
>>
>>31663788
You're equating entirely different things. I don't expect to be wiping my waifu's ass for her.
>>
>>31663793
>>31663798
I'm actually mad about this. If you bring an innocent little foal into the world, you fucking help take care of it, shitty diapers and all.
>>
>>31663771
>>31663788
The original premise was "Your waifu turns into a fart machine every time you cuddle, what do?", which is a bit beyond the "Well she's got a butthole, she's probably going to pass gas sometimes," that a person could reasonably be expected to tolerate.
It's impossible to read this digression as anything except an attempt by fart enthusiasts to shoehorn fart talk into the thread.
>>
>>31663811
Now it's turned into a discussion about how you squeamish faggots won't have the stomach to take care of your foals.
>>
>>31663296
And necessity, the father.
>>
>>31663810
I figured most men took care of their children by constantly bringing home the money and food while also protecting them with his life should the need arise.
>>
>>31663823
You also change the diapers when the situation calls for it. If you let your foal sit in a dirty diaper and get a rash because it's "icky" or you somehow think it's beneath you, you are no man.
>>
>>31663840
I don't think anyone in this thread has been saying they'd sit there and let their babies stew in their own filth.
You're mistakenly extrapolating
>>
>>31663823
Just because you shouldn't "have to" doesn't mean you shouldn't know how. Sometimes shit happens and the wife's not around, so you have to man up and take charge of the situation.

it's also why you should know how to sew and cook.
>>
>>31663811
You're literally the only one making this about a fetish.
>>
>>31663860
see
>>31663851
Also, I'll give you cooking. Sewing, however, is silly. If your waifu is a stay at home mother you'd be too fucking busy providing for the family.
>>
>>31663860
>Sometimes shit happens and the wife's not around
Literally.
>>
>>31663810
That's only a recent notion. That responsibility was almost always relegated to the mother, while the father would provide the income/resources until the child was of age to properly hold a conversation, which then the father would take over in primary parentage and raise his child to be a respectable member of society.

>source: my ass and some history
>>
>>31663884
>That's only a recent notion
By that logic I suppose we should beat our mare when they "get out of line."
It's not the 50s anymore grandpa.
>>
>>31663894
Well b8'd, friendo.
>>
>>31663877
Being able to mend things is a valuable skill, Anon. And can be a bonding experience between father and child.
Also knowing how to suture wounds requires at least SOME knowledge of sewing, in case it comes up.
>>
>>31663894
idiot.
>>
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>>31663894
>>
>>31663897
>>31663899
Nice argument, faggots.
>>
>>31663906
I wasn't making an argument, I was making a statement.
>>
The obvious answer here is to have your mare get herself spayed.
>>
>>31663910
Kill yourself.
>>
>>31663913
I mean if neither of you want foals, what's the issue?
>>
>>31663784
Man up pussass. No mare wants a crybaby.
>>
>>31663918
>not wanting offspring with your perfect little mare
Are you retarded or just homosexual?
>>
>>31663918
Also b8
>>
>>31663923
Oh fuck off m8. Are you so inept that you can't tell the difference between anonymous feelposting and real life? You don't know a single thing about me, and just made a huge, sweeping generalization about me.

Fuck off with that shit. Post your stats, B/S/D, oh wait, you probably don't have any.
>>
>>31663918
Spaying is major surgery, and irreversible. A vasectomy is an outpatient procedure that can be undone. The fact that spaying your mare is the first thing you jump to instead of just getting a vasectomy shows what an incredibly selfish piece of shit you are.
>>
>>31663918
>not wanting foals
What are you, gay?
>>
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>>31663936
Please do not bring up either spaying or vasectomies. Not the thread.
>>
>>31663946
I'm not the one who brought it up, just pointing out what a selfish piece of shit that anon is. He doesn't deserve a little mare.
>>
If your mare became terminally ill, and on her deathbed made you promise her that you'd find love again after she's gone, how would you feel?
More importantly, could you keep your promise?
>>
>>31663975
No. I'd literally kill myself if I lost the love of my life like that.
>>
>>31663986
This
>>
>>31663986
But anon, she loves you, she wouldn't want that.
>>
>>31663975
No mare could ever take her place, but if that's what she wanted I'd certainly give it an honest try.

>>31663986
>>31663988
that's literally the opposite of what she wants, wtf are you doing
>>
>>31663995
Well what she wants kinda doesn't matter anymore once she's dead. Not changing my answer.
>>
>>31663975
>>31663998
I kinda want some bittersweet green about this now. I haven't had a good cry in a while.
>>
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>>31663946
Mare is for MANY fertile, fruitful years of bearing foals.
>>
>>31664002
thats gay, ur in equestria and the princess of love + mane 6 could help etc
>>
>>31664014
Not to mention your friends and your waifu's family.
>>
>>31664019
and logan paul will vlog your corpse
>>
>>31664019
Your ex waifu's sister is single and wants to help you cope with the loss. She says it just wouldn't feel right for you not to be a part of their family anymore. Nobody seems to have any qualms or objections. Would you give it a shot?
>>
>>31664026
>fucking your dead wife's sister
What the actual fuck is wrong with you anon?
>>
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>>31664032
Woah man, that's quite the jump.
>>
This thread keeps going weird places.
>>
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I have an awesome, groundbreaking idea: Let's talk about mares instead of all this notmares
I want to cum inside a mare
In which orifice, it doesn't particularly matter- but the vagina would be preferred
Does anyone else share this sentiment?
>>
>>31664064
impregnation and incest are the pregnant twin fetishes of /mlp/
>>
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>>31664068
The first time, ONLY the vagina. The first time MUST be in the proper hole.
>>
>>31664068
only if the offspring would be pure ponies instead of some horrible abomination
>>
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>>31664068
I do. I want to cum inside of this mare.
>>
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>>31664068
yeah
>>
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>>31664068
no fuck you, I want to get into internet fights.
>>
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>>31664074
>>
>>31664068
plz
>>
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>>31664081
its tru tho, who wants retarded mudblood kids?
>>
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>>31664081
Don't worry senpai, everyone decent would accept their baby no matter what it turned out to be.
>>
>>31664075
>>31664077
>>31664085
I want to rub my dick on a pony's wings and then paint her feathers with my seed
>>
>>31664085
I want to ride Celestia with a saddle and bridle nonsexually. Work her up into a sweaty frothy lather then take her to the bedroom and fuck the hot sweaty mare like my life depends on it.
>>
>>31664104
>Frothy mare sweat
Good fetish
>>
>>31664098
what if you knew they would look like this?
>>
>>31664068
I want to cum inside a mare and have a big, happy family with her.
>>
>>31664104
praise sunbutt
>>
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>>31664104
uhhhh, so frothy
>>
>>31664120
420 praise it
>>
>>31664103
>and then watch her clean your jizz out of her wings with her mouth
>>
>>31664204
Unf
>>
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>>31663527
>"I wouldn't normally ask you to do this, Anon, but the heart wants what the heart wants."
>Cadance looks at a stained glass window
>"There's no mistake to be made, but even the other humans say you look a little unhinged."
>You stay silent
>"I found you because maybe you can help her."
>You look at the window as well
>"Anon? Are you okay, do you need something?"
"... For her? You pulled me from my home."
>"We'll have to find her first."
"Am I expected to fuck her?"
>"Not at first, take it slow with her and see where things go."
"You say it like things will go well."
>"We do have a 100% rating for happy marriages. Although we've never dealt with a couple of your caliber, a serial killer and a..."
>Cadance cocks her head
>"Sleeper cell isn't the word for you, but it's close."
>>
Is it just me who isn't actually looking for lewds?
Somehow I just don't care enough about that. She's absolutely perfect the way she is, and when I stop to think about getting it on - yeah, 100% semen demon. But if I don't put in the effort, don't focus on the lewd, it doesn't matter. If only I could simply see her once I'd die... Well, probably even more depressed than I am now, but my point is - does anybody else want to get to know HER? Without fanaticism, without over devotion, sexualization or raising her on a pedestal? Not looking for fetishisms, no cucking, no nothing - just you and her?

Fuck when did I get like this, brb watching Rambo
>>
>>31664352
Now enough of that from you. Sit in the corner, you lost your waifu privileges for the rest of the week. I don’t want to hear you talking like that in his house again mister. This is a nice escapist website, we don’t need real world thinking in here.
>>
>>31664352
I want to give her kisses on the cheek and tell her she's pretty
>>
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>>31664364
So, is that a no?
I don't know which one of us is deeper in this fantasy of ours, anon.
>>
Okay, so here is the deal. I normally don't wade in on stuff, but I had to say something. I have been sitting on these threads for months, following them, seeing the good green and the bad. Anyone else notice that there has been a drop in content lately? Wonder why? I'm no expert, but I have to assume it has something to do with the shift we have made from actually talking about how much we love our mares to a cucktastic dumpster fire of waifu wars and "who is more dedicated" bullshit. FFS fags, we have had less consistent green on here than the Manos thread! It's honestly pathetic. Can we stop spurging on shitty bait posts and actually go back to the point of this thread- OUR MARES. If you are ever wondering about whether your waifu would choose you, how do you think they would feel seeing this kinda trash on a thread supposed to embrace and glorify our love for them? So thank you to all the writefags who have continued to produce good greens, let's get back to what made this thread good!
>>
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>>31664486
Too fucking real bro
>>
>>31664352
That's normal. Sex is a part a healthy relationship but it's not all there is to it. If you're in for a lifetime with her it's absolutely necessary that you become close to her in every way, not just sexual.
>>
>>31664539
Agreed. Your love must run deeper than just sex if she is truly your mare. Wanting to know her as a pony is just as important.
>>
Honestly, I don't give a shit who the mare is. Mane 6, background pony, oc pony. She could even be another species like a zebra or changeling. I just want a mare to love and comfort forever. Even if the heart matched me with my least favorite pony, it would be a thousand times better than life now. I just want to give my unconditional love and receive it in return from a small, warm, and pure creature.
>>
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There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a she-predator
>>
>>31664486
>drop in content
You can't expect everyone to drop 5k word updates every single day like it was the case with Minty. Insight updates frequently, Celestia and Daybreaker greens still go on albeit slower. I do worry about DGCT though, so many stories that need continuation.
>>
>>31664585
I agree with you on that one. The greens are coming in slower, but that isn't really unexpected compared to that big boom a few weeks ago. They are still good greens, we gotta be patient. But I think they got a point about the shit posting and arguing. It's getting a bit excessive and clogging up the thread. Most of it isn't even relevant to the topic.
>>
In other news, I wanna snuggle with my mare, wake up early, bask in the morning sun with her warmth under the covers, then get up and make her pancakes for breakfast!
>>
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>>31664621
waffles > pancakes
>>
>>31664658
I don't know there both pretty good if you ask me.
>>
>>31664606

From a writefag's perspective, some of the anons out there are likely either busy or taking a creative break. Can't say I blame them, as daily updates do require a lot of focus.

>>31662584
I love this idea so much, and would support it. Really would add some good backstory to Voidpone.
>>
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Are blacks also included with this entire match-making scheme? If yes, I imagine they'd have to be vetted thoroughly to make sure they aren't wife-beaters and/or aren't functionally retarded. Along that tangent, what are the restrictions for humans coming to Equestria? Are you barred if you're a felon and stuff like that?
>>
>>31664839
The only thing matters is whether (you) are the one for [her].
As equestria isnt nearly as culturally divided as us, we can assume mares follow roughly the same ideals.
The stereotypical nigger or muslim would not mesh with said ideals.
>>
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>>31664878
Fair enough. I guess it all comes down to exactly how sophisticated the heart's match-making process is.
>>
>>31664839
I always thought of it like only pure people (No thots, or people who will cause problems for Equestria.) get picked so that it causes no problems. The fact that your children will have pony blood will ensure no issues with them so long as you care for them.
>>
What if stepping through the portal to Equestria was the single most physically painful thing a human being could ever experience? Orders of magnitude worse than burning alive, drowning, and being tortured all at once? There's no lasting physical damage once you're on the other side, but for 60 seconds or so you're pushed beyond all existing boundaries of the human experience of pain and agony.

Would you do it for her?
>>
Any more Celly soon?
>>
>>31665019
Spend a single second browsing this thread anon
Half a second, even
I would amputate my own arm with a spoon and eat it to get to Equestria. If it took becoming a permanent quadriplegic I'd do it in a heartbeat. Some non-permanent, non-physically damaging pain is nothing
>>
>>31665019
>letting some pain stop you from being the happiest and most content you'll ever be,

What the fuck anon, are you gay?
>>
>>31665019
60 seconds for all body is nothing, having small part for weeks - road for insanity, trust me.
>>
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>>31665027
Later today probably.
>>
>>31665019
>All the pain of the rest of your existence condensed into 60 seconds in exchange for equestria.
Deal, no backsies.
>>
>31663194
No more (You)s, you've posted this shit in several threads now, no one gives a shit.
>>
>>31665019
The only way it would stop me is if it killed me, and I'd gladly forfeit my laifu if it meant a chance to be with my waifu.
>>
>>31663626
There isn't a single inch of her body which your tongue and lips shouldn't become intimate and familiar with. Teasing of this sort is the absolute bread and butter of truly orgasmic sex and yes you can end it all with a good breeding. Mates might not be thirties, but they are still females and much the arousal and pleasure is linked to mental stimulation, which can achieve with pretty simple intimate acts before you get down to business.
>>
>>31663642
*That should be mares not mates and thotties not thirties
>>
>>31665288
I'd personally find it incredibly arousing to suck and lick her hooves. I hope she's into that sort of thing.
>>
>>31663860
You should know how to cook for yourself and sewing as often been a male past time everyone and their dog had to know how to see in the past as most garments were hand made and often didn't even have buttons just being sewn together.
>>
>>31663975
If that was her wish I would try, no doubt there are many lovely lonely mares out there who need love. I'd never forget my true love though and it would always tear me up inside, but I would give my all to my new partner, she doesn't deserve all my baggage.

If my love asked me never to love anyone else or even have sex again I'd do it, I wouldn't love again even if she didn't ask it of me.
>>
>>31664026
If my wife said to me "find love again and of that love is my sister then that's okay I'd want you to be with her." Then sure i would give it a shot, but otherwise no, though I would always be close with her - my family.
>>
>>31664352
I just want a little mare to love, cherish and spend time with. Part of this is getting to know her, part is simply intimate contact, part is sex. Sex between us would be an extension of our love. I have no need to bring fetishes into the bedroom, but I'd never object if she enjoyed some herself, I'd indulge in then to please her and that by extension pleasures me. My fetish is actual genuine connection between us, there is a huge amount you can do to make sex fantastic without any kinds of fetishes. Make use of your tongue and every body part and don't forget your words and sound, they are all important is maximising stimulation.
>>
>>31665303
I've never met a THOT Yes,
I have sinned greatly, please forgive me.
who didn't enjoy being kicked up and down and teased endlessly, even the types who liked to be choked or tied up and humilated got off hard on it.

Mares are clearly not THOTs but I imagine she would love to have her hoovies played with intimately. Anything that adds additional sensations and prolongs the experience is a good thing.
>>
>>31665383
That should be licked not kicked, but most THOTs deserve kicks.
>>
>>31663975
Nah. She was my soul match, nigga.
>>
>>31665383
Her whole perfect little body is a heavenly playground to be worshiped and sensually explored.
>>
>>31665658
>tfw no mare to spend all day cuddling and body-exploring with
>>
>>31663433
>She gets her holes filled.
>Every night.
>>
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>>31665761
Someone already made that joke, but it bears repeating.
>tfw no bughorse waifu to fug a thousand nymphs into
>>
>>31665658
>learn all her most sensitive areas by heart, plus one hair-trigger location
>she always whines a bit when you go for those spots, but she loves it all the same
>>
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>Get told your husbando will be here soon.
>Put on your best bow, putting on a dress would be too much for a first meeting.
>Ears perk as you hear hoofsteps outside the waiting room, or would that be 'foot' steps?
>Steps are heard.
>Standing up and looking toward the door, you feel excitement slowly building within you as whoever is outside comes closer.
>As the door opens your tail wagging behind you is barely noted as you gaze at your husbando for the first time.
>When he spots you his eyes seem to light up as a smile grows on his face, one matched by your own.
>Propiety, manners and restraint forgotten, forehooves bend and wings twitch as you fling yourself at your husbando, his arms encircling and promptly cradling your body as you try to wrap as much of yourself around him as possible.
>>
>>31662018
>check digits last 4 digits.
I'll help with the jews. Teach me to astral project and I'll take care of the spoops too.
>>
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>>31665844
Right in the feels
>>
>>31665844
We're both so alone.
>>
>As it turns out, there is a show called My Large Human in Equestria that became widly popular.
>You can imagine the fan's reactions when they found our earth and humans are real.
>When you get matched, you find out that YOU were a main character in the show for some reason while your waifu is just a normal mare.
>You're famous just for existing and quickly rich too since a number of pony companies owe you royalties for using your likeness.
>And despite being near anti-thots, some determined mares still want your attention despite being matched.
>Your life is forever going to be in the spotlight and your waifu is getting dragged along for the ride.
>What do?
>>
>>31665019
>Would you do it for her?
i think this is the wrong question to ask, a better question would be, how does your waifu react to this knowledge?
>>
>>31665918
obviously you wouldnt tell her
>>
>>31665913

>main character
>assembled an off-brand lego set last night
>nothing else

Good Lord above, how would they make me interesting?
>>
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>>31665913
get a picture of my wife, and when ever someone gets tries to get my attention i start acting like maes hughes
>>
>>31665019
Now say you endure this horrible pain, just to get to Equestria and learn taht your match got cold hooves and backed out at the last possible moment. What then?
>>
>>31665913
>Me
>A main character on a tv show, without my knowledge
Probably live in embarrassment for the rest of my life over all the autistic shit I've done in private that is now apparently common knowledge.
>>
>>31665965
Keel over and die
>>
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>>31665965
I go bring her some hoof-warmers, obviously
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>>31665965
You get another match, duh.
>>
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>>31665931
>>31665913
>>31665973
>The character is you right down to that odd little birthmark and personality quirks, but in the show 'you' are thrown into dramatic situations for the sake of the plot, like that time your off brand lego was the chekhooves spell which ultimately saved the local orphanage.
>Conversely, although the main plot points and relationships are the same, a lot of things in our pony show didnt happen in equestria.
I really like this idea.

>>31665965
Still worth it just for equestria alone, although i'd be reasonably concerned at her suddenly backing out.
>>
>>31665931
The problems of Earth would probably be pretty abstract and fantasy-like in a dark way. I a world as cheery as Equestria it would probably be morbidly entertaining. I had sleep for dinner two nights last week because no monies. I bet that's not something common there.
>>
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>>31665998

BEHOLD, MY SON
THIS SAVED THE ORPHANS FROM A TERRIBLE FATE
>>
>>31666012
>I had sleep for dinner two nights last week
Calorie restriction is good for you.
If you have internet access, statistically you could stand to lose some weight.
Have you considered saving money with OMAD or water fasting?
>>
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>>31665998
>poorfag student pilot who can afford one lesson every other week
>show bouts me as some Ace McPilotson blue angel danger zone guy
>tfw you're a discount version of a cooler husbando
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFu7-OXJ8XA
>>
>>31665965
That's not how love works. She'll learn.
>>
>>31666040
>There were more 'Darling's in the car episode than the boat episode, where that was explictly parodied.
My sides.
>>
>>31666070
If I recall, I think the guy who made the video explicitly left those out.
>>
>>31666042
So you'd force her into something she doesn't want?
>>
>>31666022
>bright blue wallpaper
are you a time-traveler from the 60s'?
>>
>>31666091

Quit trying to blow my cover, you mong.
>>
Commander Sparkle Anon? Are you still going to grace us with green?

Please, I loved all the war prompts last thread. I want to see hardened war hero Twilight learn to be happy again through the power of love.
>>
>>31665019
Sounds like a totally normal Warp Translation.
>>
>>31666036
kek
>>
>>31665965
Warm up those hooves by any means necessary.
>>
>>31665965
>>
>>31665913
When does the happy part in my story start?
>>
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>>31666036
As far as I'm concerned, Rainbow Dash is the pleb version of Lightning Dust.
S1 Dash is best Dash.
>>
>>31666173
Word just got leaked you’ve got two seasons left, so it’s either the finale or not happening.
is the end you dying, or are you finally free from the corporation’s clutches?
>>
>>31665998
That sounds like a recipe for everyone being very disappointed, except maybe the guys who like Twilight but don't want to go on adventures.
Oh, and the filly waifuers, since the show not being a precise record of events means that the writers' bungling of Cutie Mark lore isn't as much of a problem.
>>
>>31666173
Never, you're that one third wheel who never does anything useful and only exists to die later on so the main character can pull a deus ex out of their ass because "boohoo my nameless third wheel died", and then he and everyone else forgets about you entirely for the rest of the show
>>
>>31666187
So I will find work, at least there are some ups ahead.
Thanks for the leak bro.
>>
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>>31666187
>"So what's this 'Gen 5' i keep hearing about Anon, everyone just clams up tighter than a lassoed bull whenever i ask."
>Applefag's face when he has to explain how she got niggerfied.
>>
>>31665983
>A man endures the torturous portal to get a waifu.
>Then gets told she backed out.
>He blinks for a moment as the words hit him. Then he sits heavily, shudders, and goes still.
>When he doesn't wake up from the fainting spell, Cadence tried to rouse him.
>... Only to feel no pulse.
>It was the most hasty cover-up in modern history, but rumors still got out.
>The sign up rate slows to a crawl in the wake of the rumors and the new rule forbidding backing out under threat of punishment. The choice just carries so much weight now.
>>
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>>31666229
sad end
>>
>>31663391
Bruh the point is that you grow in a relationship. Once you have her you can lose that feeling.
>>
>>31665965
>Cold hooves
So she's nervous. Show up to her house with flowers and do my best to get her to give it a shot. Just show some initiative and she'll reciprocate.
>>
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>>31666110
>hardened war hero Twilight
This could be good.

>aside from the horrible visions of war tormenting her every single night she's also a decorated war hero
>that means she has seen a LOT of horrors and had to suck it up to fight another day
>not only that, she was sometimes responsible for causing them when things didn't go as planned
>she believes blood of those who died under her command is on her hooves
>from commanding a squad to commanding an army she has seen everything this war has to offer
>but she also witnessed true camaraderie on the battlefield and through this distorted friendship magic she pulled through, found the strength to carry on
>she has made many friends in this war but so few have lived to see it end
>it is for them she ended it
>it is her sharp mind that ultimately contributed the most to Equestria's eventual victory
>but all the tough calls like choosing between lives of some vs. interests of many, others paying with their lives for each of her missteps and wrong decision making - it's all still with her
>after the war she doesn't know what to do with herself
>the idea of being celebrated as a hero is disgusting to her, even if she understands that in the end she did everything right and saved so many
>now Cadence thinks some guy from another world can make her feel better
>someone who can make it over the wall she has constructed around her heart to protect it? that's just too good to be true
>besides, she's not the only pony who suffers from disturbing dreams; she's adamant that some need Initiative way more than her, she's not the one who should be getting therapy
>those who lost everything should get their happiness first and she's definitely not one of them
>some of them lost it because of her
>sometimes it feels like it won't ever stop
>those friends she's lost can't be brought back or replaced
>yet deep inside she still aches to rekindle that feeling - and it scares her the most
>>
>>31666229
>>31666264
Tbf, that's the level of gravity that they should have approached it with from the beginning.
Unless the mare is super unlucky and simply doesn't have a match, as soon as she signs the form she's effectively married, 'til death does she part.
>>
>>31666278
>she immediately vomits on you in fear and slams the door in your face
>>
>>31666286
what if there's a super long wait list? say 6+ months? and in the time she's waiting, she meets and falls in love with a stallion
>>
>>31666290
What fucking stallion? There are none.
>>
>>31666290
Maybe they could double-check with her to make sure she's still interested before they contact/retreive you in that case, but I think we'd all prefer mares who'd consider themselves "taken" as soon as they signed, and forsake all other stallions no matter how long the wait was, just like we'd do for them.
>>
There was a green about Navy guy being matched with Treehugger.
Did it die?
>>
>>31666290
>>31666310
I think you guys are forgetting the whole point of the initiative was to pair up LONELY mares, because there aren't enough stallions to go around.
>>
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>>31666285
I like to think Commander Sparkle still gets together with her surviving friends after the Crystal War.

>Commander Rainbow Dash, who like her understands the weight of leadership and the guilt of every comrade lost under their command.
>Rock Troopers Pinkamena Pie & Maud Pie, who's immense physical strength have saved many lives on the battlefield by either lifting large objects off of ponies or destroying them before they can even hit anyone.
>Gilda, who convinced the government of Griffonstone, to lend their aid to Equestria with the truth that if Sombra wins then he's inevitably going to try to take over the rest of the world. She learned to respect and came to like Twilight, Pinkamena, and Maud after seeing what they're capable of in a fight.
>The five of them often frequent bars together, partially to have fun, but also because the buzz of alcohol helps dull the emotional pain of what they've experienced.
>Twilight complains to them about being forced into the Initiative, but they just tell her to stop acting like a dyke unlike them because she actually has a chance to get laid.
>The war made the already skewed gender ratio even worse, as Sombra's forces didn't discriminate between male and female.
>That's another reason for the Initiative.
>Twilight tries to tell them that she simply thinks other ponies deserve this help more than her, but they just roll their eyes at her.
>*frustrated horse noises*
>>
>>31666318
6 months is a long time though, Anon. Circumstances can change.
>>
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>>31666406
>go their entire lives without a stallion
>somehow get one in the six months they signed up for the initiative
sounds like cuck fantasies senpai
>>
>>31666312
Sure feels like it.
A shame, too; I was really looking forward to more.
>>
>>31666418
I'm not saying it would be a frequent occurrence, but nothing has a 100% rate of success.
>>
>>31666418
My god you people are obsessed with cuckoldry
fuck, just go get married so you can cheat already
>>
What if you and your little mare are compatible in every way except fetishes? You both have sexual fetishes that completely turn each other off.
>>
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>>31666517
>implying little ponies have even a sliver of degenerancy in them
>>
>>31666287
That's actually kind of endearing, her being that legit terrified.
>>
>>31666517
She'd have to be into some really terrible shit for that to be the case, to the point that we probably wouldn't be matched in the first place.
Years of living on the Internet have fucked me up pretty badly.
>>
>>31666229
>Princess Cadence shakes and sobs over a still form, trying to wake him without effect.
>"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...."
>She just wanted to help. To save them.
>"I'm s-sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
>The brilliant pink of the Princess's coat slowly darkens.
>She fights through a fresh wave of tears. "I-I didn't mean to do this. Please wake up..." She says, resting her head on the man's chest, hoping for a heartbeat that she would never hear.
>Her mane and tail darken, moving and becoming wavy with the magic coursing through them.
>"I-I have to help them... I have to save them. From this..."
>The heart of her cutie mark dulls, cracks spreading over it.
>"I'll save t-them..."
>The air thrums with godly power.
>"I'll save all of them."
>Slitted eyes with enough emotion to swallow the world snap open.
>"I'll save everyone. No one will know pain like this again."
>And then the world knew that love trumps all, be it for good or ill.
>>
>>31666517
But mares are all about sex for procreation.
>>
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>>31666555
>>
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>Newly arrived men report nigh uncontrollable urges toward holding their waifu in their arms.
>"She's so adorable!" - Anonymous man
>"Being tall is neat." - Anonymous mare
>"You would not believe how relaxing this is" - Anonymous man.
>"The Great and Powerful ------- enjoys her position over the common rabble." - Anonymous mare

>>31666435
>>31666406
Put it this way, today you recieve concrete proof that this matchmaking thing is real but it'll take an unknown amount of time before your match is found.
Next week you'll meet a woman who doesnt act like a THOT and by sheer cosmic lottery she's also interested in you.
Do you reciprocate or wait for your waifu?
If you wouldnt wait, then you wouldnt get matched.

>>31666517
If it's complete turn off's then you likely wouldnt get matched or there would be something undiscovered that turns you both on.
If on the other hand you're just not a fan but open to exploring it with your waifu (or vice versa), then you'll probably get matched.
Although it's not a huge deal, a healthy sex life is still important to a relationship.
>>
>>31666573
>Next week you'll meet a woman who doesnt act like a THOT and by sheer cosmic lottery she's also interested in you

Sure, and I'll get her an engagement ring carved from wooden iron with a half-carat chunk of burning ice and we'll get married on a day when the Sun rises in the West.
Besides, >no hooves.
>>
>Two Hundred years ago, the parasite Changelings invaded Canterlot, and the Princess and Prince stopped them.
>Years later a team of unexpected heroes found a way to purge their parasitic nature.
>They found a cure, or so we all thought.
>Twenty Three years ago the parasite reemerged.
>The "cured" hives were the first to burn.
>The worst part is that they were razed from the inside.
>It had evolved, become more than a parasite.
>It had become a virus and it was beginning to find new hosts.
>This new breed of Changelings invaded more than Equestria, it had invaded our world. We stopped them.
>I stopped them.
>But the Flim Flam corporation seized the opportunity, stepping into the power vacuum, quickly growing in size and influence, to the brink of world domination.
>Flim Flam took us all by surprise, even me.
>They call me Harmony
>And I'm the only one who knows what's coming. Flim Flam are not the real threat to our world.
>The most powerful parasite, the Alpha Changeling, still lives.
>She showed me a glimpse of the future.
>She knows what drives me.
>What I believe.
>That being a good friend comes down to one thing, to one single question: What are you prepared to sacrifice?
>When they came to me with the nanosuit, I sacrificed High Caliber, the mare I was, to become Harmony.
>When my own flesh and blood held me back, I sacrificed that too. Replaced it, like a spare part.
>Friendship is always worth fighting for, but victory costs.
>Every time, you give a little more.
>I saw a glimpse of what's coming, and there was nothing left of me to stop it.
>When the greatest combat machine fails friendship, or when friendship fails it, what do we do then?
>What do I do?

Reposting from technology thread as another idea for War Equestria
>>
>>31666571
nightmare candyass?
>>
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>>31666571
>>31666613
>when Nightmare Cadance is more unsettling and terrifying than Nightmare Moon
Don't fuck with Candy's happy couples.
>>
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>>31666599
That's my point.
Your mare has roughly the same chances of a stallion suddenly coming along.

>>31666627
>>31666613
>>31666571
>>31666555
We came up with a name for her aside from (The THOTslayer) and i cant remember it.
I want to say Decadence, but i'm not sure.
>>
>>31666555
>>31666571
>>31666627
>>31666613

>Cadance starts calling herself Matchmaker
>For the most part, she's the same.
>She's kind, friendly, and courteous.
>Her friends and family are nervous though.
>She takes matters of love WAY more seriously than she did before.
>As in, "I will force you to be happy together even if you hate me for it".
>The increased power granted by her transformation allows her to pick two individuals, and see a possible future where they entered a romantic relationship with each other.
>NO ONE is allowed to back out of the program anymore.
>For the most part, this isn't a problem because most ponies and humans are perfectly happy with each other.
>Anyone who gets cold feet/hooves though is blasted with love magic to get them 'in the proper mood' to meet their match.
>"They'll thank me for it later." is her response with people start to protest against this mind warping.
>Matchmaker even starts breaking up already established pony couples who aren't 100% compatible with each other to remove the possibility of heartbreak, and repairing them with their ideal matches.
>"Because in the end, True Love Lasts Forever."
>>
Mares are the most perfect creatures ever.
>>
>>31666663
That much is obvious. But my wife is the most perfect of them all.
>>
>>31666663
Were you seriously rolling for Alpha Stan with a truth like that?
>>
>>31666682
how could you marry her when shes not real
>>
>>31666682
You better be married to your daki, otherwise fake and gay
>>
>>31666662
>dat pic
why the long face, candy ass?
>>
>>31666663
Sorry senpai, satyrs got it. Confirmed ultimate offspring.
>>
>>31666713
I would not impregnate my waifu unless we are guaranteed 100% pure pony foals. Satyrs are an abomination.
>>
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>>31666728
Thank goodness your type aren't allowed in Equestria then :^)
>>
>>31666713
I don’t see a satyr in that pic.
>>
>>31666713
Fuck back off to your containment thread.
>>
>This shit again
What for the love of fucking christ is so hard about "do not respond"? Please tell me morons, you hate the shit so much and you still give him (you)s
>>
>>31666663
Somebody between you and the next post received the glorious six sixes.
>>
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>Mares look like this.
Would you?
>>
>>31666713
didnt that guy do a pretty hot tsundere Dash comic?
>>
>>31666768
Yes.
>>
>>31666666
>>
How many times per day is the proper number of times to kiss your mare?
>>
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>>31666775
Bats confirmed perfect mates for dem fluffy genetics.
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>>31666783
No less than 24, at least
>>
>>31666765
Never mind, GigaSatan was wasted on the Satyr thread.
>>
>>31666767
Why wouldn't I?
Her coat looks fuzzy and soft, mane is silky smooth and eyes you can get lost in.
>>
>>31666711

Perhaps this is when she starts to realize that mindraping ponies into loving each other isn’t necessarily the best way to do things?
>>
>>31666783
Enough, and a couple more just to be sure.
>>
>>31666767
Looks pretty hugable.
>>
>>31666611

Eh, it doesn’t really pertain to the idea of man + mares = pure love. Although I do like the idea that the Flim Flam Brothers flourished in the wartime economy with their machines.
>>
>>31664010
agreed, last time i had a good cry was part way through FOE: Project Horizons. I know that fic was a rambling edgey mess at times but dammit if i didn't fall for Lacunae.
>>
>>31666767
Well. That would certainly change things. Still interested in meeting magic aliens, though.\
This is why I've spent the past 2+months trying to work out proper anatomy to my satisfaction.
>>
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>>31665930
Rule 1 of Equestria: You don't talk about the passage
Rule 2 of Equestria: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE PASSAGE
>>
>>31667041
You're implying anybody would be able to hide the hellish pain and misery the passing would cause once you reach the other side.
This kind of shit isn't something to be just swept under the rug.
>>
>>31666660
Decadance, although obviously that would be more for the version that gives up on proper matchmaking and tolerates all sorts of "love" (faggotry, herdshit, geldings, fillycon, at-will divorce, incest, etc.)
>>
>>31667062
Obviously you would be processed by a recovery team at the portal exit and only presented to your mare once you were presentable.
>>
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>>31667062
Sure, most people would be shellshocked after 60 seconds of absolute agony, but is the Road-Between-Worlds something that little poners really need to know about? They're so pure and innocent.
Just play it off as "a tough journey, not everyone made it". The little details deserve to be forgotten.
>>
>>31667091
>>31667120
I imagine it would be a well known and maybe even celebrated thing. Why would Cadance hide what their husbando's are willing to go through for them?
>>
>>31667166
>every mare who signs up knows that they are going to subject a person to unimaginable suffering, even if only briefly
>none of them feel worth that effort, so they don't sign up
Sometimes a lie is easier to take, Anon.
>>
>>31667166
Because of the mares who would have second thoughts about putting someone through that just to alleviate their own loneliness?
>>
>>31667173
>>every mare who signs up knows that they are going to subject a person to unimaginable suffering, even if only briefly
You say that, but it takes two to sign up. It's not like niggas are being kidnapped and forced through torture.
>>
Fuck off with your edgy shit

CUTE MARES NOW
>>
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>>31667062
>>31667091
>>31667120
>The Path Between leaves anons almost completely broken afterwards.
>A minute, an hour, weeks, months or years, time has no meaning in that place, to those that suffer it.
>As she's the one that made them go through such agony, she comforts each one personally as best she can.
>Makes sure each one knows that this is real, that they are safe, that things will be okay now.
>Each time a shaking man collapses in her embrace, she asks herself if it's worth it.
>Each time she watches (him) happily embrace his match, she knows that it is.
>>
>>31667173
>>31667181
if theyre just gonna close their eyes and ignore everything uncomfortable or pretend something they dont like exists then i question how good of mates theyd be
>>
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>>31667188
>>
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>>31664104
>>
>>31666767
If she's eye level her head would be fucking massive.
I made a rough approximation, her eye would be, from lid to lid ~26cm tall.
>>
>>31661048
>There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

oh bullshit
i have two years probation because of that crap. fuck you and your brony bullshit, i hope you die in a fire.
>>
>>31667195
There are some things mares were not meant to know.
>>
>>31667378
COP OUT
>>
>>31667427
You just want infinite pity points
>>
>>31667214
Now that’s the good shit I like to see in this thread. Celestia being ridden is always a good read.
>>
>>31667358
lol, sucks to be you then
>>
>>31667435
I don't know about you, but I'd prefer a mare who can at least appreciate the trials you go through just to meet her.
>>
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>>31654916
>"So, how does it feel?"
>Glossy Gleam is walking circles around you and her pensive stare kinda makes you a bit uncomfortable.
>She found you still at your pancakes and made you stand up and move a bit to see how her first shot at dressing you up worked out.
"It's good. Fits well and it's pretty comfy."
>You stretch your arms and look over the suit one more time.
>It was nothing unusual, really. Quite the opposite - black jacket and pants with white shirt is the most plain thing when it comes to suits.
>This kind of thing could be easily find in your world, but knowing how this was made here, in Equestria, makes it really impressive to you, especially seeing how good it sits on you.
>"How did the princess react?"
"What do you mean?"
>"Did she say anything about it? Anything at all?"
"Not really."
>"Hmm..."
>Gleam puts her hoof at her chin and for a second there she looks like she's concentrating real hard.
>But it was true, even though you've had this suit on you for the whole morning, Celestia never really made any sort of comment on it.
>To be fair, you can see why.
"I can ask her if you want."
>"No-no, that isn't necessary. Lack of response counts too. It means it doesn't stand out too much. I'll keep that in mind."
>Gleam makes some notes in her notebook, masterfully handling the quill in her mouth, as earth ponies do.
>"We'll try something different tomorrow, alright? Maybe something more flashy? We had quite a few submissions that are pretty ridiculous."
"Can't wait."
>Sarcasm doesn't get under the pony's skin and she nods.
>"I have to go now, a few more attires are arriving today and I'll have to sort this all out."
"You sound like you have plans for months forward."
>"Do I now?" she giggles, gleaming with pride. "Well, that might just be the case. Anyway, the new outfit will be ready in the morning. Have a nice day and I'll see you same time tomorrow."
"Sounds good, thanks."
>>
>>31667473
>When she's gone you finally finish your food. But now there's another problem.
>You have nothing to do for the rest of the day until princess Celestia comes back.
>As she mentioned, she only has plans for your education. For now there's nothing you could do.
>Should've asked her beforehand. Or at least asked Gleam.
>You can't even read books here as you learned in Chrystal Empire. You never had a chance to actually do anything there since your acclimatization took so long but you know you can't understand the runes.
>All of Cadence's notes on mares don't matter at this point and it's not like you don't know them by heart now.
>You kinda miss discussing it with her. And now would be the perfect time to talk to Celestia. But alas, she's a mare that has her duties.
>Maybe fleeing together isn't that bad of an idea after all.
>But then again, Celestia never said you can't leave your room or anything like that.
>So maybe you should do some exploring on your own.
>Just like yesterday, the ponies aren't that fond of your presence here.
>You kinda wander the corridors for a while, trying to not get in the way.
>It crossed your mind to go to near the throne room but something tells you that right now that wouldn't be wise. You can't barge in just yet.
>You're like a lost child looking for his family in a mall. And the worst thing is, you don't really find anything remotely entertaining for you.
>Learning written language should be your first priority, Celestia probably has a lot of interesting books and you have time for any of them.
>Not to mention that would speed up your education process, it's almost guaranteed Celestia has something related to history.
>You can't believe you're excited about studying.
>Maybe if you were that full of enthusiasm back in your university days you wouldn't have dropped out.
>Maybe you'd be a better person right now.
>Well, it's better late than never.
>>
>>31667464
Of that scale though? Dilute the story, plus, what adequate words are there for immeasurable pain the likes you’d never imagined? What more would there be to say? Here’s what you say
>shit sucked hella hard
>>
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>>31667480
>Besides, you're in Equestria now so your knowledge of your own world doesn't mean anything.
>At least this chance won't slip by. For Celestia you'll be the very best you can be.
>But not today, apparently. Even taking a good look at a book you can't figure out the runes. At least the royal library is quiet enough and there's no one here so it's rather peaceful.
>You're gonna spend so much time here and it fills you with anticipation.
>There's no time to cherish that feeling though, as boredom settles back in rather easily.
>Without having anything else to do you return to Celestia's bedroom.
>This room has a certain calm ambience to it. It makes sense that the princess' personal space is made for relaxation and rest.
>You take off your jacket and lay down on the bed you woke up on today.
>Even now you vividly remember the feel of Celestia in your arms. The velvet of her coat against your naked skin.
>Her genuine, sincere warmth she shared for the first time, maybe ever.
>The fact that you won't feel that until much later today makes you curl up on the bed.
>Lying on your side you notice that your head is on the pillow she was yesterday.
>Without even a second thought you borrow your nose in it and take a deep breath.
>It still smells like her, of course. Not even thinking about what you're doing you just take the pillow and embrace it, still breathing in that faint smell of the Sun princess' mane.
>God, even this feels so good. She'll be back soon and you'll hug her just like this. There's nothing you want more right now.
>The thought of her feeling just as lonely right now is horrifying.
>She doesn't even have this. She can't even afford to think about it if she has to pay attention to all the bullshit she has to endure on her shift.
>It's so unfair. She's the one who needs you the most.
>You make a promise to yourself that as soon as she sets her hoof in this room you won't let her go.
>>
>>31667462
>lol, sucks to be you then

well i WOULD have been sucked if the cops hadn't come along.
>>
>>31667464
Them appreciating it is a given, though. Even without the mental torture the journey inflicts.
You're just a masochist who wants to hold it over your pony's head like a fucking weapon.
Who cares about what happened on the way over, you got your pony. The trip itself is best left forgotten.
>>
>>31667464
But she can't. None of them possibly could.
She has no frame of reference for infinite pain; only other husbandos would be able to know that feel.
>>
>>31667489
>"Mr. Anonymous? Oh my, I'm sorry I woke you up!"
"Huh? Wha..."
>Through the haze of your interrupted sleep you barely comprehend what's going on and who is this before you at the bed.
>Of course you fell asleep. Figures.
>The voice sounds male so it's pretty confusing for you to figure out.
>It's a pretty velvety, deep and calm voice.
>"I apologize, I brought you lunch and called for you but I didn't notice you were sleeping."
>Right next to the bed stands a unicorn stallion in some kind of suit. He points at a few plates on the table - no doubt the food he's brought with him.
"It's alright, I wasn't planning on sleeping too long anyway."
>Or at all. Meh.
>The groggy voice you say this with is probably enough to show that this isn't really the case, but the stallion doesn't react to it in any way.
>"Still, I apologize. I hope the food will compensate for the inconvenience. Princess ordered that for you specifically and wanted me to mention it."
"Oh? Thank you then."
>He does a little reserved bow and takes his leave, carefully closing the door using magic.
>You want to get up but you feel really weak right now, like all strength has been drained out of you.
>It's easier to just sleep some more. You probably fell asleep in the first place because it's so unusual for you to wake up that early.
>Only now you notice that you're still hugging the pillow and you've been doing it through the whole conversation too.
>Man, at this point who the hell cares.
>It doesn't take you much time to fall asleep again and only when you wake up for real you remind yourself that you have food still untouched.
>After a quick trip to the bathroom you get to eating. It's way past noon now so maybe it's not long until dinner?
>Lucky for you the food was covered by cloth on top of metal lids.
>On the plates you see different dishes. All of them involve fish.
>You're not really a fish kinda guy so you don't even know what any of these are called.
>>
>>31667481
I bet you'd also pretend your mare was fine while she died of cancer.
>>
>>31667501
>Again, it doesn't matter. You're pretty hungry and this should be good enough.
>It actually is good, and there's a lot of it to taste even if it is cold by now.
>You try to guess why exactly Celestia wanted you to know it's from her but you can't. There was no need to specify it, it's a given that it was she who ordered it.
>The origin of all this meat, or even why make this fish-only, is also under question but you don't think you're gonna ask.
>It was another concern that this lunch is so big and diverse, you wonder what's the dinner is like then, considering that yesterday it was just salad.
>Thinking about food got you nowhere pretty fast and you find yourself bored and lonely yet again.
>Even being magic-matched to a goddess of a perfect fantasy land you still find something to complain about. Astonishing.
>You walk around the castle again but this time you find that balcony Celestia showed you earlier.
>It overlooks most of the city. The great vista of Canterlot takes your breath away.
>Daily reminder to yourself that this is real and you're here and not dreaming. Pinch your cheek while you're at it.
>Standing here it's easy to see how Celestia finds inspiration to go on day by day for so many years.
>It's also fairly windy in here but it feels good.
>You allow the atmosphere of this serene scene take you for a moment. A moment that lasted for quite some time, actually.
>The Sun is on its way down already. You decide to return to your room.
>It was nice to clear your head but now the thoughts about Celestia return to you.
>You'll give her an extra tight hug when she's back. No, even more.
>You can do better. She'll probably by tired, maybe you can offer a massage of sorts?
>Yes, this would be perfect. And then you'll hug the lovely princess pony even more.
>No matter how much you imagine it you still don't really know how to actually proceed with this. Though Celestia likes when you get straight to the point so maybe this won't be a problem at all.
>>
>>31667502
Here’s a cop out for you
>magic
>>
>>31667510
>She'll probably need this. And, well, you need it too.
>It's easy to see how you wish to make her feel better, after all you were brought here just for this. But you yourself want it too.
>You really do miss her. This much is obvious to you.
>You'll have to use your time together wisely to get the most out of it.

>Thankfully, the wait from that point isn't gonna be long. At least that's what you thought.
>It's already getting dark and there's no sign of the princess. Celestia is facing all the consequences for leaving her post just for one day.
>Finally, just as the Sun is about to go down, you hear hoofsteps - metal upon carpet, something you'll never mistake for anything else.
>Fast and loud, they approach your room in haste. The doors open wide and Celestia almost gallops inside. Upon seeing you her worried expression changes to reflect relief.
>"Anon!"
>She almost jumps to you and you already have your arms extended towards her.
>With force almost enough to throw you back she collides with you and you finally lock your arms around the pony.
>The silk of her mane fold with ease under your hands now holding the mare's head to your chest.
"Celestia, I missed you so much."
>"You? I missed you way more. I thought this day would never end. I..."
>She stops talking and nuzzles your shoulder, still pushing you back.
"It's alright. I'm so glad you're back."
>At the door behind her you see that one stallion who brought you lunch today.
>He doesn't pay any mind to princess pushing you farther into the room in her desire to be closer. He just rolls in the food and closes the door.
>"Oh, I had no chance to eat after lunch so I requested dinner here." the princess explains.
>You're pretty hungry too. But to let her go now...
>In the end, you eat together. Literally, right next to each other. She's leaning to your side as you eat the array of salads she brought with herself.
>"I like to eat something light in the evening, lets me sleep better."
>>
>>31667497
You're an idiot.

>>31667499
And yes, they could. What is so hard about being able to acknowledge and appreciate some nasty fucking shit someone went through just for you?
>>
>>31667515
Then here's one for you.
>the transition is as simple as walking through a door
>>
>>31667519
>That makes sense. But food is food, it doesn't matter, what's important is that she's here now.
>Celestia catches you looking at her as she eats and she smiles with her mouth full of salad. It's this kind of Celestia you wanted to see.
>You get your hand around her back and squeeze your cheek against hers. Both of you laugh at first but then you feel her massive wing around you that keeps you like this, cheek-to-cheek with her.
>Yet again taking the initiative payed off to you. You'll definitely ask about that massage later.
>Though when the time for it comes you're still unsure. Celestia moves the plates away and gets up. She walks to the window to open it a little and while she moves she stretches her body a bit.
>If there is the perfect time to propose it, it's now.
"You look pretty tired."
>She looks back at you and freezes for a moment. But what a moment it is. Mid-stretch one of her hindlegs is far behind and her back is a bit arched, complete with her head tilting just enough for her eyes to appear a bit closed when she looks at you.
>She has got to do this on purpose, because it accentuates all of her curves just right.
>Just a thought of her consciously trying to get you to notice it makes you a bit dizzy.
>If she's in such mood then it's all the better for you.
>"Yeah, it's been a much longer day than I wanted."
"You know, I can give you a massage if you want."
>Celestia raises her eyebrow and that doesn't bode well.
"I mean, I think it would be good for you right now, so-"
>"I'd love that."
>She was probably just surprised hearing that since now she's smiling.
>When she sees you stand up, eager to get your hands on her, she starts walking towards the bed.
>Part of you is a bit surprised this is actually going to happen but you're glad that she agreed. Makes your heart beat faster in a mix of anxiety and excitement.
>She gets on and tries to get comfortable on her belly.
>>
>>31667532
>But when you join her you're reminded that you don't actually know the first thing about massage.
>Your guess is that her shoulders, if you can call it that, are still the priority target for you. So you go squeeze them.
>Celestia's apparent softness doesn't prevent you from feeling her muscles. That firmness surprises you, after all she's a pretty slender mare. In all the right places, of course.
>No, now is not the time to think about it.
>She closes her eyes and puts her head on the pillow, on the side to face you.
>For some time you continue your motions but then you hear a giggle coming from the princess.
"What's so funny?"
>"Anon, you know, you don't need an excuse to touch me if you want."
>That stops you right on your tracks and that makes her laugh even more.
>"I'm not saying it doesn't feel good, but let's just say you could do something better with your hands."
>It stings. Of course, she probably has an army of top professional massage gurus from all over Equestria to tend to her. It was silly of you to pretend you know anything about that.
>Celestia, however, doesn't make fun of you.
>"I mean it. If you insist on this, there's a spot that's always difficult to get with hooves. Someone like you though..."
>She gets her mane out of your way with magic. Would've helped you if she did that right away. Oh well.
>"It's at the base of my wings and between them." she says as she makes her wings twitch a few times. "It's hard to deal with and magic doesn't have the same feel. So if you'd be so kind..."
"Of course, anything for you."
>That might've been a bit over the top but Celestia nods in approval.
>She does feel tense in the spot between her wings and you can see how it's a bit difficult to properly tend to that tight space with hooves.
>Your hands easily squeeze the flesh when your fingers sink right in and that seems to do the trick, because a heavy sigh escapes Celestia.
>"Yes, right here."
>>
>>31667520
What’s so hard about not bringing up pain unnecessarily and simply enjoying what you undertook the sacrifice for? What do you even have in mind for her “appreciation”? Her singing your fucking praises about how tough and brave you are?
>>
>>31667542
>In response to your kneading motions her wings quiver a little, barely even visible to you.
>You just go deeper, making wide motions between Celestia's wings. Up and down and in circles.
>A few more times the princess sighs and it's obvious she really enjoys it.
>Her breath makes your mind wander into dangerous depths of lewd thoughts, so the next time Celestia sighs you almost imagine it as if it's done in a sensual way.
>You regret it right away since you're starting to get all bothered by it. No need for it now. Nothing sensual happening here at all.
>"J-just a bit lower... Yes, right here."
>That voice, hushed and restrained by pleasure outright melts your mind and you discover even more vigor in yourself.
>But then you remember that she wanted you to also get the space around the wings too.
>This is much more risky to you. But you won't back down, not right now.
>Your hands get under Celestia's wings and you immediately find those spots she was talking about, right where the wings connect to her body.
>This time her whole body shivers without her even hiding it. The wings fall to her sides as if without any power to hold them in position.
>The princess never has a chance to recover because you start rubbing right away. It is then you notice how Celestia now has her hooves under the pillow and her head is rubbing against it, mouth slightly opened.
>You never cease your generous groping and soon you tease her wings to open even more. They lay at her sides almost fully unfurled and the princess herself is completely relaxed.
>She's straight up putty under your hands, no willpower to move a single muscle left in her.
>"Mmh... Anon... I'm gonna fall asleep like that."
>Her voice is weak but very satisfied. You think now is the right time to change pace and you move your hands up her back.
>It's surprising how her regalia never impeded your improvised massage and you weren't about to undress her now.
>So you move past it, right to her neck.
>>
>>31667546
Some niggers just want it to be all about them, and not about the pony.
Shameful state of affairs, really.
>>
>>31667530
Sounds good, I’ll take that over unimaginable suffering, sucks that wasn’t the prompt though.
>>
>>31667120
>>31667173
>>31667181
if all the sacrifice is on your part and all your waifu has to do is sign a form saying gimme husband... how is this any different from relationshits here. you have to leave everything behind. you also have to go through unimaginable pain just to do so. you then get through it all just to find out no one really gives a shit.

sounds remarkably like earth senpai.
>>
>>31667555
>Finally the mare opens her eyes and you think she looks happy.
>You keep your hand on her for a moment and then you give her a scratch right under her chin.
>This makes her laugh and suddenly you feel her magic pulling you in.
>She tugs at your arm and you fall on your side, on the pillow right next to her.
>Celestia is inches away from you, blushing and breathing softly after your relaxing session.
>"Anon, I missed you so much. I really needed this."
"Me too."
>Her voice is but a whisper now and that makes it extremely intimate. You can feel the hot air of it on your face and even still smell salad in it.
>"Next time don't even ask, alright?"
"As you wish."
>"No, as YOU wish."
>With that she scoots up and in one swift motion drags you to her body - with a little help of magic, of course.
>Your face is right above her chest piece now but you manage to get in a comfortable position.
>Celestia's hooves are around you and they pull you in for a hug.
>"I know it's supposed to be all about me, since humans are summoned here for mares and not the other way around."
>She starts petting your head with her hoof.
>"But I know what this means to you. I've read Cadence's reports. You need me no less than I need you, Anonymous."
"Of course I do."
>"I feel bad for leaving you alone for so long."
>She's whispering again and after that she holds you even tighter, like she's afraid you're about to leave her embrace.
>"You've abandoned everything for me and I can't even be with you through the day."
"Celestia, it's not that-"
>"It is a big deal. Finally I get to be with you and it's just more heartache to overcome."
"I'm right here, Celly."
>Suddenly she stiffens and you realize you probably fucked up with your unplanned slip.
"O-or do you prefer Tia?" you try to right your wrong.
>The moment of hesitation has passed and she now gets her hindleg on your side too and her head touches yours, completing her enveloping hug.
>>
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>>31667546
>What do you even have in mind for her “appreciation”? Her singing your fucking praises about how tough and brave you are?

Her kneeling down, putting that ass up in the air, and me getting a running start at that winking va-jay-jay.
>>
>>31667557
Sounds like to me you're pussy pedestal fags that makes it all about her, and nothing about you. It's give and take, you niggers, it's going to be a completely one sided, unhealthy relationship otherwise.
>>
>>31667562
>And then she whispers right to your ear:
>"I'm ok with either... Nonny."
>That makes you smile and you yourself take your chance to hold onto the princess.
>Your hands find that spot at her wings and you feel how one on them outstretches to cover you. It's so big it's like a blanket.
>"You just want to be with me, don't you? I'll find the way for us to not be separated for a whole day."
"That would be great."
>"It's just been one day, but imagining this for a week, a month, a decade... It's just unfair. What about when w-"
>She stops, feeling like she's saying too much.
"I'm happy even for this time together. But I'd like something to do in the meantime too, you know?"
>"Aw, you're bored here, aren't you? The teachers are on their way, some of them just need time to move here."
"You didn't pull them from actual classes, did you?"
>"Oh no, I wouldn't do that."
>Something in her tone doesn't make it very convincing.
>"Don't you worry, Anon, we'll get you busy in no time. That reminds me, aside from you learning about our culture there's a pony very interested in yours."
"Really?"
>"Yes. Actually, she can teach you a lot as well. She's a bit busy at the moment but she'll be arriving in the next few days. I'm sure she won't let you get bored even for one second. She's a very... responsible pony."
"I'm glad to hear that. But is there really no one to at least teach me your fancy horse runes?"
>"It's a bit different from what you expect, even if our spoken language is similar."
>You grumble, still thinking that it's bullshit and it's no different at all, because how different can it be?
"Fine."
>"Don't you worry, it will all be alright."
"I know, I'm with you after all."
>"That's the spirit."
>You talk about other things while slowly caressing each other still in a gentle hug.
>Even though Celestia wants to talk more, her tiredness takes its toll on her.
>She reluctantly gets up to set the Sun and go wake up her sister.
>>
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>>31667575
>When she's back, she immediately dives back into your arms and not even a minute later she drifts off into a peaceful slumber.
>Even though you're both still clothed and it's not as intimate as it was yesterday, it's still so good to be with her.
>You'll endure all the boredom in the world for this. And this is only the beginning.
>You soon join the real of dreams as well, happy that it's her who's holding you this night.


That's it for today, hopefully I'll have more soon.
>>
>>31667560
>how is this any different from relationshits here
Because it’s temporary and for a cause that’s actually worth it with no fault on anyone but the unthinking medium.
>no one gives a shit
Because it’s not about the pain, it would just worry my mare unnecessarily. I for one would be more than content to leave the pain behind and have a solid reference for what it really means to hurt. Only one thing could rival such a hurt, losing [her]
>>
>>31667570
Except it won't, because this is Ponyland and you're guaranteed by the Power of Love itself a happy marriage until you're fucking dead.
I mean, shit, you guys keep putting hurdles in front of yourselves and then get pissy about it when people try to take them down.
>>
>>31667570
Sounds to me like you’re speaking in absolutes, Imperial
>>
>>31667601
I'm not the one that started the whole 'portal of pain' idea, figgit. I'm just working with what I was given.
>>
>>31667586
that anatomy is all kinds of fucked up
>>
>>31667586
good stuff, anon.
>>
>>31667621
It’s to test your mettle faggot, nothing more. It creates a bond between other anons as well, they know the others earned it.
except what if they liked it and emerged coated with their fluids
>>
>Voidpone would walk you through the portal no problem, without any pain
Literally the best waifu.
>>
>>31667634
maybe she is
at least she would understand what you went through and not pretend it didnt happen
>>
Do you think the crystal heart would match me with a little mare that would pee on me every now and then if I asked her to?
>>
>>31667666
Sure, Stan, don’t let your dreams be memes.
>>
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>>31667634
>>31667639
I would.
>>
>>31667639
>and not pretend it didnt happen
For fucks sake you contrarian bastard here:
>Only ones that know the details are Cadence, the husbandos and the mares who already have husbandos.
>Everyone else just gets a generic "They get tested." answer.
Happy? Now you get to guilt trip your mare in peace without the less confident mares being discouraged because they dont think they are worth an amount of pain they literally cant comprehend.
>>
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>>31666767
Yes. Candyass has huge eyes to begin with anyways.
>>
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>tfw come through the portal sick as fuck
>tfw first meeting with waifu is with me swaying on my feet and coughing my lungs out
>>
>>31667717
>pic
THE HORROR
>>
>>31667709
Who debriefed the mare? Did she get a notice in the mail? Otherwise why did Anon tell her, for what purpose, what good will it do to bring such a thing up.
>>
>>31667709
>>Everyone else just gets a generic "They get tested." answer.
why
everyone should be fully aware of the price these men paid to be with their waifus
sugarcoating it or squirreling it away to never be seen is disgusting
>>
>>31667749
There's literally no reason for waifus to be burdened with that knowledge, though.
You just keep plainly asserting that they should.
>>
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>>31667562
>>"Next time don't even ask, alright?"
>"As you wish."
>>"No, as YOU wish."
D'aww.
This was a really cozy chapter.
>tfw no sun princess to rub all over
>>
>>31667749
Here’s that same question to you: why?
Why should everyone be fully aware? Just to see her gasp and worry and say she wasn’t worth it, to prop you up as a big strong guy and it wasn’t that big of a deal?
>>
>>31667791
>>31667809
starting off every new relationship with a healthy dose of lies and obfuscation i see

off to a great start anon

they should fully aware of what theyre getting into
this shit is a two way street but you guys are acting like it isnt
>>
>>31667745
Emotional blackmail.
Gotta make sure she knows how much you suffered for her so you can bully her into doing whatever you want.
>>
>>31667815
What are they going to do with this information but worry, it’s not like it’ll get brought up again past initial contact anyways
>>
>>31661420
>men don't owe you shit
Well, except for a jolly good rogering every now and then...
>>
>>31667815
>enhancing the truth is NEVER OK
Have you literally never interacted with another human being in your life?
>>
>>31664658
>>31664674
French Toast > waffles or pancakes
>>
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>>31667839
>a jolly good rogering
Is that a sex move where you kick the thot out of your house and cuddle your waifu hugpillow instead?
>>
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>>31667828
the POINT is to not immediately get into your new life with flat out lies and hiding of shit
not to mention you keep acting like your waifu would be this porcelain doll you wouldnt even be able to look at wrong without her shattering

in fact the horrors of the portal should be stamped right on the fucking pamphlets they have to look at and sign into

and look at it this way
if your waifu was the one coming to you and she arrived a shaking shellshocked mess would you prefer she and the princesses just lie to you and say oh no shes fine the journey was just a little rough lol

even though the journey was so horrific and terrible it could have likely killed her
>>
>>31667849
I thought the point was to get away from other human beings and not bring shitty human behavior to Equestria?
>>
>>31667865
>side effects of portal transit are listed in the brochure
>ponies, being ponies, don't want to hurt people in ways they can't even begin to describe
>no one signs up for the program
>therefore, no one goes through the portal and suffers the pain of transit
>only the mares who don't care how much you suffer would sign up for it because they value their wants over your physical or mental wellbeing
congratulations, you've played yourself
>>
>>31667879
>back to the porcelain mares
TWO
TO
TANGO
>>
>>31667865
This >>31667879

>>31667874
Ponies lie, just ask appul
>>
>>31667885
see
>>31667881
>>
>>31667889
Is he wrong though? What thoughtful mare would knowingly subject her supposed man to such things?
>>
>>31667894
then pen pal it

send every man whos interested a magical notebook so you can communicate back and forth between your match
you can decide then after however long it takes to make the decision
>>
>>31667894
The desperately lonely kind of mare with zero future prospects this thread is all about.
>>
>>31667586
I love this. Please tell me that there will be eventual lewds
>>
>>31667901
This.
>>
>>31667865
If either of us is getting dumped into the other's lap in a traumatized state, then Can'tdance isn't doing her job.
>>
>>31667901
The prompt >>31665019 had a very clear premise, you’re adding things.
>>31667913
Think about it like this, could you ask that of her? They’re supposed to be our equal half.
>>
>>31667901
Doesn't that defeat the purpose of not knowing who you're matched to, which was one of the main things of the prompts for pretty much all of the greentext regarding this?
>>31667913
So you're telling me that these pastel horses would rather inflict indescribable suffering on someone, however temporarily, and that they won't shit on themselves for "being so selfish" afterwards, than let go of their chance of happiness because they don't want to hurt anyone.
>>
>>31667948
You stick so rigidly to only one way of doing things you're going to seriously stifle creativity down the line for this thread. I personally see no problems with slight alterations or changes here and there to things, from story to story.
>>
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>>31667901
>>31667934
>Get notebook.
>Your match tells you it's going to be the most painful thing you've ever experienced.
>You ask if you'll be in equestria with her afterwards
>She says yes.
>65 seconds later a line shakily appears in her notebook and slowly forms into words
>"Worth it."

Kinda retarded idea senpai, just adds a pointless middleman to something that's a done deal for 90% of this thread.
>>
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>>31667629
>>31667920
Thank you, anons.
>Please tell me that there will be eventual lewds
Yes.
>>
>>31667946
>>31667948
the man is already throwing away his entire life for her on top of putting themselves through unimaginable pain
it would be their duty after hes through to take care of him until hes back on his feet and capable again

give and take dudes come on
theres sacrifice on both sides
>>
>>31667988
You say that, but the idea of a torture portal was stupid to begin with.
>>
>>31667990
Now this is a good way to put it. Before it was phrased in a way that had anon apparently being treated with some sort of reverence with how it would be brought up for no reason
>>
>>31667990
Called it. >>31667827
Luckily, scum like this would never be matched in the first place.
>>
>>31667995
Especially considering that exposure to such a stimulus would overload most peoples' brains, causing them to either just shut down or completely disassociate to deal with the overwhelming physical agony.
So that would turn Cadence's love portal into a giant potato factory.
>>
>>31668020
thats what ive been trying to say the whole time

>>31668021
b8
>>
>>31667995
Yes, but the lines drawn exacerbated a rather clean cut “would you?” situation
>>
>>31668039
I don't think the problem was "would you do it" but "would you tell her", which is nothing but emotional blackmail.
>>
>>31668021
They want to be nursed and fretted over, which in itself isn’t wrong, but on this scale it’s sort of a cutthroat method for sympathy and bonus points
>>
>>31667989
I’m gonna need a pastebin link my dude hit us up.
>>
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>>31668063
Here you go: https://pastebin.com/WRUW1xQu
>>
>>31667827
>>31668021
>>31668042
Who hurt your fee fees, Anon?
>>
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>>31668082
>>
>>31668082
faggots that can’t see what they’re considering is actually taking advantage of mares.
>>
>>31668090
>"""taking advantage"""
By that logic, wouldn't it be YOU being taken advantage of? They somehow convinced you to leave everything behind and suffer agony, just for them, only to have to completely rely on them once your through because you have nothing to your name.

Or does this not count because only vaginas seem to matter?
>>
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>>31668042
>>31668039
Intial prompt was "Would you" shortly followed by "Would you tell her".

>>31668110
Are you implying you WOULDN'T suffer anything to go to equestria and be with [her]?
>>
>>31668110
>They somehow convinced you to leave everything behind and suffer agony, just for them, only to have to completely rely on them once your through because you have nothing to your name.
That's what winning looks like, kid.
>>
>implying we aren't already in the torture portal
>implying this hell is the final and absolute reality
>>
>>31668110
>somehow convinced
I’d do a lot of things for Equestria alone if it were confirmed. if i also somehow got approved for matching with a mare some immeasurable pain will be gladly undertaken. I now see this emasculated lens you read me through though, which is ridiculously off base.
>>
>>31668134
I'd suffer unimaginable pain, sure.
What I wouldn't suffer is the fact she would feel bad for having put me through that before I ever got there.
I don't want her to feel bad about anything, because if she does feel bad then I would feel as if I let her down somehow.
So why upset her when there's literally no reason to? Why start out with the "oh Celestia did I really make you suffer that" when you could instead start with "so what color should we have the drapes be in the living room?"
>>
I would probably admit, at most, that the trip was unpleasant. But I'd suffer it a thousand times over to be with my little angel.
>>
>>31668183
>I'd suffer it a thousand times over
I mean, that's only ~17 hours.
That's less time than it takes to play through Sonic 2006.
>>
>>31668198
There we go.
You get to Equestria but you have to play through the entire Sonic catalog. In one sitting.
>>
>>31668183
It was extremely painful, but you're a big guy for your waifu?
>>
>>31668173
>>31668183
These.
>>31668110
irl do you think reasonable people that actually went through awful shit want everyone to know?

Note this does not include not the crazy ones or the ones that spout off about how terrible it was despite it having no functional purpose being brought up like youre suggesting
>>
>>31668205
While https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX7zPlQjAr8 plays on repeat
>>
>>31668205
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btdk4q68OiQ&list=PLB03C1EE50686295B
I'd certainly try, but that's a LOT of games, most of which are pretty bad.
>>
For any anons considering a new thread, let this dispute burn out first pls and ty, don’t want it to spill over
>>
>>31668228
Exactly.
There's your unimaginable suffering that defies physical limits.
>>
>>31668235
ride the autosage lads
>>
>>31668235
lol no
>>31668276
>>
>>31668220
In real life I expect people who are agreeing to put people through awful shit should at least know what they're putting them through.
>>
>>31668323
In real life, people who go through awful shit generally don't like to talk about it.
If you don't believe me, ask a soldier about how many people he's killed.
>>
>>31668352
In real life, people who put other people through awful shit are usually put in prison.
>>
>>31668370
Unless they're women or Jewish.
>>
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>>31668370
[citation needed]
>>
>>31668408
Honestly, I will never understand why there aren't more flat out murders over shit like this.
>>
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>>31668418
death penalty for thots
>>
>>31666392

>You are Commander Twilight Sparkle, a veteran of the Crystal War
"So naturally, when the letter shows up at my apartment, I want to know why the heck I'M being dragged into the Initiative?!"
>And you're pretty bucking pissed right now.
"I catch the next train to the Crystal Empire to talk to Cadance personally, and you want to know what she tells me?!"
>"Why are you askin' us? You're just going to tell us anyway." Gilda rolls her eyes.
"She tells me," you begin doing your best impression of Cadence, "'Oh Twilight, this will be good for you! You'll be so happy when you meet your match!'"
>Your friends look decidedly unimpressed as the five of you sit at a table playing Go Fish in a dive bar in Baltimare.
>Fools.
>You shake your head.
"I swear, this is just like my application to the Royal Guard getting rejected. I KNOW Shiny had something to do with that."
>With your record in the war, you would have made Captain by the time you were Shining's age!
>"Have you ever considered that perhaps they're trying to help you?" Maud asks in her usual deadpan.
>You snort.
"No duh, but I don't need it. Those ponies who are so broken by the war that they refuse to leave their homes? Or the ponies who lost everything? THEY need it. Yet I'm being dragged into the Initiative because I'm apparently 'at high risk for a violent mental breakdown without intervention'?! I am the PERFECT example of ideal mental health, thank you very much!"
>"Or maybe they just think you really need to get laid?" Rainbow snarks, placing a card down.
"And what? Some random alien from another world is supposed to be sweep me off my feet?"
>"Well, I've heard that the humans go to war with each other all the time. Maybe you'll get matched with a guy who can understand how you feel?" Pinkamena suggests, placing a card down.
"That's not the point, Pinkamena! I don't have time for romance! There's still so much to do!"
>>
>>31668073
Hnnnnnng
>>
>>31668444
>continuing your green in an autosaging thread
oh shit nigga what are you doing
>>31668276
good stuff, though
>>
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>>31668444
Nice might want to repost it in the new thread though
Checked
>>
>>31668444
Oh hell yes, please continue in the next thread.
>>
>>31667586
pastebin friend?
>>
>>31668073
>>31668598
>>
>>31668598
nvm sorry, I didn't refresh thread in a while
>>
>>31666713
You know, Filly, It Hurts, Fat, and Fart all ate shit because they were seen as shitpost and Incest nearly did too. Stayr could easily be seen as anthro if the mod ever notices it. I know it's not, you know it's not, but if we continue to post out of our board we could be the next target of the trash man.
>>
>>31668699
>Board
Fucking hell. I meant thread.
>>
>>31668699
What. None of this made sense.
>>
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>>31667586
It's beautiful. You're beautiful. You beautiful bastard.

Never stop writing this
>>
>>31667586
You did a good job making that day seem long. and that reunion was just a wonderful payoff.
>>
>>31667988
>Get notebook
>Waifu starts writing a message to you
>Draw a picture of spurdo and write BENDIS IDN BAGINDA
>>
>>31669147
Kek




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