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My Bitchy Half-Sister Can't Be This Cute Edition

Previous Bread: >>31682567

Binned Greens: https://pastebin.com/pTAqfjD6
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>>31708087
I want to betray Twilights trust by aggressively fondling her breasts.
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>Title
>Season 2 flashbacks
Thanks OP
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ded
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>>31708527
The burgers are asleep and all the underages are back at school.
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What happened to Lilly story?
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>>31708529
Oh, silly me, forget for a second what im a slav
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>You are Cheerilee
>Your life is empty and devoid of meaning
>Okay, maybe that's a little overly dramatic
>You love your students to death, but every one of them is a living monument to the fact that you don't have children of your own
>Even if you could lure in a man to inseminate you, you were pretty much out of luck
>The doc says that you're almost infertile now
>The worst part about all of this is that you've actually already had a baby
>But you put it up for adoPTION BECAUSE SIXTEEN YEAR OLD CHEERILEE WAS SUCH A STUPID FUCKING SLUT CUNT BI-
>The past is in the past
>Your therapist says that you can't let your past mistakes haunt you forever
>Besides, you just got a call from the private detective you hired
>They found your son, and he's agreed to meet you!
>You arrive at the predetermined meeting place, and you see that the detective has someone with...
>Oh no
>He's hot
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>>31708576
Another aspect of being a slav: every day it's qyiet, and in the morning it's 400 posts to read and a new thread with new 200. In every fucking thread.
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Holy balls, I missed so much over the course of this week. Have an appul while I sleep.
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>>31708731
Well yeah, but there is no time to shitpost online.
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>>31708296
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>>31708731
If it makes you feel better the threads have slowed down considerably.
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>>31708776
I'm lucky to not have overseer roaming above and I sit in the corner, protected from normies by monitor. Nobody seems to mind me listening chiptunes and reading while I do my tasks. But dayum, this place is empty at day, and whenever I'm ready to go to sleep there are updates coming in live.

>>31708850
You don't know what a slow thread is. One of those I feel most close to hasn't reach half of bump limit since mid-december, and that's not even i2p.
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>>31708868
Compared to how fast the thread was, yes we are slowing down.
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>>31708885
Posting speed gets higher and lower all the time, no big deal. One week you can hear only bitch that whines that thred ded, the other day several writefags dump all their shit and there are prompts one sexier than the other. I don't worry about that much, topic is relatively timeless and won't suffer the hype loss. All we should do is bump it and think of prompts from time to time.
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>>31708899
Unused prompt #45738907 sure is better than a bump I'll give you that.
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>>31708901
You can bump it with pictures of a cute horsegirl and crude implication, still better than nothing.
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>>31708903
>Be Twilight
>Your beautiful son Anon is struggling
>He can't seem to find a girlfriend
>You can't fathom why
>He's so smart, and funny, and handsome!
>Those girls don't know what they're missing out on
>In addition to literally every woman except you apparently being blind and stupid, Anon has a bit of a confidence issue
>That's okay; you have a foolproof plan to get him into the dating mindset!
>You'll pretend to be a girl his age online and sort of teach him how to talk to girls
>It's the perfect scheme!
>You make your profile, send the friend request, and he takes the bait
>Things start moving way faster than you expected
>He may freeze up when talking to girls face-to-face, but he doesn't have that issue when he's talking to your generic anime girl profile pic
>Pretty soon you're sending him carefully framed nudes and having cybersex
>B-but it's okay
>You're just trying to help him find a girlfriend...
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>>31708979
>a quick look at the profile of a new girl make him understand what it is his mother
>Anon still plays along with her
>If it makes her happy
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>>31708979
>>31709002
One thing leads to another, Twilight now wants to know how many babies can she have with her son before they get webbed feet. For research.
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>>31708979
Why must you do this to me?
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>>31709002
>Anon knows his mother is lonely
>He's accidentally walked in on her crying in bed, all alone
>Plays along for him AND her
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>>31709179
It's hurts but heartboner>regular boner.
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https://pastebin.com/aenqVpGr

>>31685310
>You recoil, raising an eyebrow.
"How many..? It's not like I can just OWN them, they go wherever they want."
>"I... no, damn it, I didn't mean-"
"But I kind of already do own them just like I own this kingdom, so I suppose it's a redundant question..."
>"ENOUGH OF THE CATS."
>Whoa, not cool.
>She squeezes your hands harder, almost hyperventilating into your face.
"Are you feeling well? Did the season get to you, too?"
>"N-no." She snakes a hand into your robes. "I just... need more..."
"A-already??"
>You step away, but she just follows, falling against you.
"Hold your fucking camels, can I get some time to BREATHE?"
>You tense up as her fingers find your limb, the touch more uncomfortable than not.
"Look, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak..."
>"Then don't work me up like this, you asshole..."
>The hell did you do?
"If you really can't wait, my tongue is perfectly functional, j-just saying..."
>Breathing even harder, she gulps, sounding more hungry than playful.
>"Y-you'd do that, JUST after finishing inside..?"
"Shit, wait... now that I think about it..."
>She takes a deep breath, calming herself down.
>"That's what I thought. Sit down, I have a plan."
>A plan, by the queen of impulse herself? This ought to be good.
>You stretch for a chair, sitting with your hands down your sides, your wife immediately getting on her knees to fish out your semi-erection.
>"Rise for your queen, peasant! Your services are required!"
>Peasant..?
>She stares down your 'peasant', waiting for something to happen.
"Try promoting his social standing, that would at least be one kind of 'rise'."
>"Well, worth the try..."
>She's joking, right?
>She lowers her head just over the tip, parting her lips.
>"Now shut up and behold my backup plan!"
>Oh, now THERE'S a plan.
>"Trust in your elders, will you? I've got this aaaall~ figured out..."
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>>31709373
>She descends further, the first contact with your head being the gentle carress of-
"T-TEETH!"
>You force your hands down, suppressing your every instinct.
"D-did you just BITE?"
>"Huh?" She looks up, confused. "Isn't that how this works?"
"Are... are you for real..?"
>These jokes aren't all that funny anymore.
>She crosses her arms, awkwardly looking away.
>"H-hey, I've been totally celibate my entire life, alright? T-technically, that is..."
>If you ever needed absolute, arrow-proof confirmation that you're her first male partner...
>She uncrosses her arms, staring at the door.
"Still. If this how you treat your peasants-"
>Your own eyes follow, the sight shutting you up immediately.
>The door is wide open.
>And it's being HELD open.
>By your MOTHER.
>"T-t-t-tia..? W-why are you..?"
>Shit.
>"I just thought I'd help you two out with the..." Your mother notices the mess of scrolls on the floor. "...taxes."
>"Uhh... this all has a completely benign explanation..."
>Your mother notices the cat, her eyes widening.
>SHIT.
>"What's a cat doing in a room full of scrolls..?"
>Horus bless your pragmatist mother! Her only concern is the cat destroying the records, not any of your totally non-existent fetishes...
>"I... may have forgotten to close the door..."
>"Well..." She waves at your wife, turning to leave. "Don't let me interrupt your show of dominance over your rival..."
"I AM NOT INTO-"
>Fuck this, why do you even try?
"How long were you watching, anyways?"
>"Oh, I just opened the door." She eyes your wife, giving her a wink. "If I were spying, I'd be a LOT more careful."
>Your wife shrinks into you, which you can't resist welcoming. "Wait... you KNEW? D-did you see me through the window..?"
>"Court intrigue is your lesson for tomorrow, dear sister." She steps out, waving again.
>Luna hastily gets on her feet, stopping your mother.
>"W-wait..."
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>>31709376
>Your wife whispers something to her sister, clutching her elder's robes.
>They've been going at it for a while now, and you're just sitting here, having your limp dick stared at by a cat.
>You'd call it over, but you're still not entirely sure how how much of a joke your alleged cat-fetish actually is...
>Their eyes trail on you, your mother giggling, your wife looking heavily embarrassed.
>"Aww, Luna, you're adorable."
>Heh, serves her right.
>Your mother brushes some hair out of her sister's face, giving her an affectionate peck on the cheek.
>"Of course I'll help, and I can't tell you how happy I am that you'd ask."
>WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT, DAMN IT?
>"T-thanks..." Your wife looks redder than ever, clutching her arm.
"Well..? The suspense is killing me."
>Your mother lowers the wooden bar on the door without a word, locking it shut.
>The cat is still in here, but whatever...
"Mother..?"
>She finally walks over to you, smiling innocently.
>"May I sit?"
>What, on YOU? In a room with two dozen empty chairs?
"Sure, I guess..."
>She sits across from you on your lap, resting her forearms on your shoulders.
>"We're in private, just call me mom."
>You look past her, seeing Luna already with the cat back in her arms, both of them staring at you.
>This is what she calls private..?
>"Would you mind if I did my sister a teensy favor?"
"Would you mind if I asked you to hurry up and tell me what it is?"
>"Not at all. Ask away."
>You're really not feeling these jokes today.
"If the favor's for her, what are you doing on me..?"
>She leans forward and whispers into your ear, resting her hands on your legs, suspiciously close to your exposed limb.
>"She took her time to get to the point, but she asked for a lesson on how not to disappoint you, basically."
"W-what?"
>"She's fallen for you, Anon. Hard."
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>>31709380
>Sweat starts forming on your forehead, your peasant starting to come back to life.
"Stop messing with my head... there's no way."
>"Trust me, she's smitten. It's blatantly obvious."
"H-how can you be so sure? Isn't she just feeling guilty?"
>Your mother giggles, still speaking too low for your wife to hear.
>"Don't rationalize it. She seems willing to do actual work, I don't think you understand how monumental that is."
>Was she really THAT bad?
>"That's something I could never do, but you and your manly charms did it in a *day*."
>You tense up, not sure if she's just trying to boost your ego.
>"If you were even half as proud of yourself as I am, you'd be the most arrogant man alive."
>Blood rushes into your face, warm breaths hitting your ear.
>"Can you stop whispering, already?" Your wife pipes up, scratching the cat. "You're talking about me, aren't you?"
>Wow, hypocrite.
>"Right." Your mother pulls back, flicking some stray strands of hair over her shoulders.
>"How long since your last finish?"
>OH BOY, HERE WE GO.
"F-five minutes, I guess..? I didn't exactly set an hourglass."
>"See, there's your first mistake, Luna. Too soon."
>She raises a finger to her sister, donning her teacher's persona without breaking eye contact with you.
>"It's not like you can just *order* it to rise."
>Your wife shrinks back.
>"O-obviously..."
>Wait... was that NOT a joke?
>"That doesn't mean you can't have any fun, it just means your foreplay needs foreplay. Pay attention."
>She keeps looking straight into your eyes, even while talking to Luna.
>It's awkward, but gods damn is it getting your blood pumping, especially given the subject...
"W-what am I supposed to do, exactly..?"
>Blushing, your mother strokes your cheek with her hand as she move closer, making you hold your breath.
>"Oh, nothing much."
>Her other hand moves to your free cheek, the purest look of adoration on her face.
>"Just allow a mother spoil her son..."
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>>31709381
>She leans further forward, allowing you just enough time to hastily lick your dry lips.
>Her mouth brushing against you, she pauses, hands still on your face.
>She's clearly letting you go at your own pace, unlike that time she scared away those painters...
>You open your mouth slightly, letting her begin to gradually pry it apart with her lips.
>This is dangerous. Your head might actually catch fire.
>You put up no resistance, letting her sneak her tongue into your mouth just before uniting your two airways.
>Sensing your looming suffocation even before you, she pulls back with an amused smile, letting you catch your breath.
>"Try breathing through your nose when your mouth is busy, your majesty."
>Wow, your nose can do that? Thanks for the tip, mom.
>Apparently you're dumb enough to need it.
>Being the mouth-breather that you are, you leave it hanging open, a fact your mother takes full advantage of.
>She dips into you a trio of kisses, each one carrying more urgency and tongue than the last, while her hand finds your left forearm.
>"Don't keep your hands to yourself... I'm not just here for show."
"R-RIGHT."
>Awkwardly handling her midsection, you eventually stumble on a gap in her robes.
>Picking a spot of bare skin on her lower back, you run it up her spinal column, figuring it's a good enough start.
>"Hnff~" Her face reddens further as she arches her back, inhaling sharply.
>"G-go on, this body is yours... indulge in it..."
>Snapping like a sun-dried branch under a camel's foot, you plunge back into her mouth, not caring anymore to hide your lack of skill.
>She responds like a hungry animal, pushing her tongue as far into you as she can manage as well as her body, your branch meeting the camel's toe.
>Breathe with your nose, Anon...
>Grinding against her, you greedily explore her inner mouth, her tongue teasingly tracking back.
>You can feel your her pulse.
>In several places.
>"T-tia..? I think I get the point..."
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>>31709385
>One of your hands dares find the back of her head, hitting loose something metal that clangs on the floor.
>Uncountable locks of her hair fall around your head, closing your world to everything but the face in front of you.
>"T-tia? Anon? Hello?"
>Letting your hands grab whatever's in reach, your mother's robes start to unravel by themselves.
>Getting bolder by the second, your mother conversely seems to get more limp with every whimper released into your mouth.
>The tongue-wrestling coming entirely from you at this point, you wrap your arms around her as she seems about to lose her balance.
>Falling out of the kiss, she grabs hold of your robes behind your back, thrusting her lower body against you while breathing frantically.
>"Fffff-hnnggh~"
>You hear fabric ripping behind you as her head falls on your shoulder, her trembling body pushing itself against you with dangerous force.
>Finally released from her hold, you fall stunned into the chair with your mother on top, hearing from her sounds inbetween panting and moaning.
>You look across the room, seeing your wife hugging her knees on a chair, hiding the most raging of blushes.
>You're hiding something raging, too.
"M-mom..?"
>"G-give me... a moment..."
>Silence fills the room, your mother's panting gradually quieting down.
>"O-okay..." Still breathing heavy, she attempts to push herself up, only to stumble and fall right back into you.
>"x'shoes me... I got this..."
>She waves away your helping hand before you can even offer it, staggering on her feet.
>"S-see, Luna? It's easy... you just need to... y'know..."
>She tries putting on her teacher's persona, her wild hair and barely hanging-together robes not helping.
>"...run myself ragged until I can barely stand?"
>"Ehh-heh..." Your mother sucks a breath through her teeth, stretching her neck muscles. "I *may* have gotten a little carried away..."
>"A LITTLE?"
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I'm feel like I should apologize to my mother for being such a degenerate, guys. Should I?
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>>31709411
Nah. She knew what she was diving into.
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>>31709411
Apologies are for those who regret their actions. There are no regrets here. Only dreams. Dreams of impregnating our mothers and sisters, cousins and aunts.
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>>31708296
Anyone got any ideas for a big sis Tempest green?
>Be Tempest Shadow.
>Obviously not the name you were born with, but your folks could never leave the flower child lifestyle in the past.
>Or the molly, apparently.
>Mauled by a bear when you were young, leaving you with a scar over your eye. Most kids avoided you, but your little brother, Anon, never did.
>Practically disowned by your folks by the time you decided to sign up to protect your country.
>In the army for a few years, before the jeep you're in drives over a landmine.
>Blast injury left you with impaired hearing at best, and one-less arm at worst.
>As if your scar didn't fuck over any potential of a social life before, but you're too dead inside to care about that now.
>You had life insurance, that's cool. About as cool as the military discharge your received from your injuries.
>About as cool as how even your parents barely visited you in the hospital. Mostly to brag about how you should've listened to them.
>Maybe they were right.
>There wasn't a day that passed where Anon didn't visit you however.
>Up until the day you were released from the hospital, Anon all but begs you to crash at his place until you're well enough to take care of yourself.
>Apparently you weren't as dead as you thought if you still had this many butterflies left in your stomach.
>You didn't want to become a burden, you didn't want to rely on anyone. Especially the kindness of your brother.
>But you also wanted to have at least been a veteran first before you could be homeless.

Never written a green before, so I know it's shit. Just spitballing to see if anyone has anything better.
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>>31709693
Maybe could be a very dangerous mercenary that came home as payment to get out of the lifestyle, but she needs help adjusting thanks to her little brother.
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>>31708680
I like it
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>>31709693
this has potential for top cute moments
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>>31709693
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>>31709693
Keep going and take your time.
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>>31709693
For your "first" green this is some pretty good shit, love where it's going. Now hand over the rest, faggot.
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>>31709711
Was thinking mercenary at one point too, but wasn't sure if it'd be unfitting for the type of story it is.
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>>31708979
I dreamt this once
it was the biggest sense of disappointment I have ever felt awake or asleep.
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>>31709411
even criminals' moms defend them for being big giant criminals, so you're fine
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>>31709693
unbelievably asshole parents, wow
buut she is a veteran..
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>>31709693
Fund it
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>>31710142
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>>31710121
She was probably mocking their shitty decisions since childhood. Being orthodox dildoes they saw her as devil but could never abandon a chilf because it's not what a good christian would do, so they kept the hypocricy going
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>>31710142
>The hero we don't deserve
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>>31710142
Lol, fapped to it 20 minutes ago
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>>31709693
>Thirty years later, their parents continue to wonder why neither of their children have spoken to them in more than a decade
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>>31710142
>Your sister Babs will never make it her personal mission to take her of her himbofied brother
>You will never rely on her to milk your heavy balls dry to function in society
>You will never act like her overprotective boyfriend in public
>She will never be so soak and grateful that she fucks you in the public bathrooms, only making all her suitors more jealous
>You will never become her husband so she can have a happy life and family.
God damnit Madman, why must you do this to me? I got hard then I got sad, it hurts.
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>>31710142
We got any good bimbo stories? The thread in trash is nothing but vague ideas for games and shit but no smut stories.
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>>31710142
W I T N E S S E D
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>>31710170
take care*
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>>31710197
I like the idea of bimbos, but I don't like the idea of my waifu being a slut with anybody but me. Especially if we're doing an incest thing and that waifu is my sister/mother/aunt/cousin.
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>>31710213
Then its your brothers duty to became her one and only.
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>>31710213
That's the idea, she isn't a slut for anybody but you, did you somehow miss the first line? Or the last for that mater, or did you just jump to the conclusion that she was a general slut before being himbofied?
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>>31710142
ZOOMED WORDS
O
O
M
E
D

W
O
R
D
S
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>>31710232
No, man, I'm talking about the concept in general.
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>>31710142
Mods send it
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>>31710252
....except that has nothing to do with the concept, that's just you pulling it out your ass. She isn't a bimbo, you are. What part of that could you not understand?
>>
>Bimbo sister will never like, totally hear from her girlfriends that incest is totes okay to do as long as balls don't touch
>"...or is it that it's not GAY if balls don't touch?"
>"Like, whatev's, little brother, I don't have balls so I guess it's cool if we bone."
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>>31710142
Them Apple thighs and Apple ass.
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>>31710298
Sides eliminated
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>>31710213
>I like the idea of bimbos

>>31710197
>We got any good bimbo stories?

>>31710286
Bimbos, Anon. I'm talking about bimbos. Christ's sake, try and keep up.
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>>31710298
>Bimbo sister forgets what day laundry day is supposed to be, and spends most of the weekend walking around naked waiting for the wash to be done
>>
Didn't you bimbofags used to have a general on the board
Maybe go back there
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BIMBO CIVIL WAR NOW!
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>>31710154
I must have missed that entire thing you're talking about
and why does she think she isnt a veteran
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>>31710370
At least its not glimmer
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>>31710142
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>>31711040
Avenge this fallen Anon.
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>>31711040
This>>31711248
Filthy "Man Whore" Rich needs to let Anon and Babs know their cousins.
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>>31711040
Dew it for babs
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>>31711345
>Oh jeez I'm gonna keel ovah heeah
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>>31692431
>Silver eyes you suspiciously.
>"Is this a trick?"
"Dead serious."
>"Hmm.."
>She narrows her eyes stroking her chin with a finger.
>"What about Diamond? If she sees us together then she'll-"
"It's just when it's you, and me, and I promise I won't tell anyone."
>Silver Spoon starts rubbing her arm nervously, looking from you to the teacher, reluctant to accept your offer.
>"H-how can we just start over? I mean after all the stuff I've said-"
>You take her hand and shake it.
"Hello Silver Spoon. I'm Anon. Nice to meet you."
>She looks at her hand with a slightly opened mouth.
"See? Easy as pie."
>"Uh..."
"Tell you what. I'll promise not to take it personal when you make fun of me, when you're with Diamond Tiara. Sound good?"
>She balls up her mouth, before taking a deep breath.
>"Okay. It's nice to meet you too."
>She forces a smile, but you can tell she still feels a bit awkward about this whole thing. For the moment you just need to get her to see you differently than the picture Diamond Tiara has painted(even if it is completely inaccurate).
>Harshwhinny drones on about the accolades of Abraham Lincoln in the meantime. The class is struggling to stay awake throughout the staggeringly dull ordeal.
>"So is it true?"
"Is what true?"
>Silver Spoon is doodling into a notebook.
>"Are you with Babs?"
"We're friends, yes."
>She taps her mechanical pencil on the paper a few times.
>"You shouldn’t hang out with her. She's seriously dangerous. Did you know she was in Juvie?"
"For stealing a car. I know all about it."
>Silver looks at you out the corner of her eyes.
>"Stealing a car? She went because she pulled a freaking knife on me and Diamond!"
>Your eyes widen.
"Wait, what?"
>"We decided to break off things with her. She was out of control, so she pulled a switchblade on us in the hallway in front of everyone-"
>She's lying through her ass. She has to be.
>"Babs is crazy, and now she's set her sights on the new guy. You."
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>>31711378
.....that's hot.
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>>31711378
Aw shit.
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>>31711378
>Before you could properly process things, the bell goes off.
>Silver stands up gathering her things.
>"You can ask anyone in school. They'll tell you the same thing. Get away before it's too late."
>Silver flips her braid over her shoulder leaving you with your thoughts.
>You sit there trying to see things from a logical standpoint- hell any standpoint. There's two sides to every story right?
>Is it really your business what happened in the past? Besides, Babs is a lot more tolerable than Diamond Tiara.
>You hear a loud whistle come from the doorway, making you look up.
>Speak of the Devil and so shall he appear.
>Babs leans in waving you over.
>"Let's go Nonny. Mama's here to pick you up!"
>Mrs. HarshWhinny just shakes her head at the display.
"Do you have to scream that out?"
>You slide out of your desk, approaching Babs, who leads you into the halls.
>"So who do you get to grace with your presence next?"
>She steals your schedule again without any resistance.
>"Oooh. Cheerilee. Looks like we're back together again!"
"Y-yeah."
>Babs cocks a questioning eye at your meek tone.
>"You good?"
>May as well ask her. Maybe there's a good reason she didn't tell you.
>You lick your lips prepared to-
>"Check it out. The Doggies formed a pack!"
>Both you, and Babs turn to the sound of an all too familiar voice.
>"Think they know any tricks Diamond?"
>Your awful Half-sister grins at you, while Silver brings up the rear.
>Babs scowls, slinging her arm around you again, as if she's staking her claim.
>"Check it out Nonny. It's Canterlot High's wealthiest Dykes! Tell me Silver Spoon. Is Diamond Tiara's carpet Cashmere or Persian?"
>You cover your mouth to keep from laughing.
>Diamond Tiara gasps in shock. Rich people must not be used to being insulted.
>Unfortunately, Silver doesn't make it any better.
>"Shows how much you know! She has both!"
>"SILVER!"
>"What?! What did I do?!"
>All you can hear is Babs roaring laughter, as you leave them to bicker in the halls.
>>
>>31711504
>Silver actually knows
Oh you sweet shiny girl, don't change your silliness.
And Anon better just come out and ask if she's yandere, if she aint and was framed then it should be understood.
>>
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>>31711540
>yandere babs
Yes sir I would like all the tickets to this ride.
>>
I missed the apple thighs and apple ass. I'm sad now.
>>
>>31711630
I can give you b&nthro yuuge tiddy babs instead of you'd like.
>>
>>31711660
Fucking mad man.
>>
>>31711660
The ass is a little too much
>>
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>>31711660
You glorious bastard
>>
>>31711674
It's made by the same person as this, believe it or not.
>>
>>31711674
>The ass is a little too much
Do you know the definition of Apple thighs?
>>
Quick test
>>
>>31711709
Shit. It doesn't work then.
>>
>>31711660
Her bottom half looks seriously deformed.
>>
>>31711718
I agree. It’s like one of those deformed Vietnamese porn stars with the oversized boobs
>>
>>31711504
>Tell me Silver Spoon. Is Diamond Tiara's carpet Cashmere or Persian?"
Top lel
>”Shows how much you know! She has both!"
Good sir could you help me? I’ve seem to have lost my sides
>>
>>31711674
it has its own zip code and the postmen all have severe foot problems
>>
>>31711709
>>31711716
What are you trying to do?
>>
>>31711752
does the cashmere or persian part tie into the double entendre at all or is it just kinds of carpet that a rich person might have
>>
>>31711660
Bless each and every single one of you anons for your sacrifices
>>
>>31711764
>whynotboth.gif
>>
>>31711775
Yeah but does that even... Is there any more to the joke?
>>
>>31711764
Do you really need this explained?
>>
>>31711788
Do you need more?
>>
>>31711803
Not at all, I just feel like it's not THAT terribly funny and it was really understandable that silver might have thought he was being genuine
As opposed to, say, "Carpets matching the drapes" where the other meaning makes logical sense and you can figure it out and that adds an extra layer that makes it funny.
I just want to make sure I'm not missing something. Like they refer to different colors or textures of pubes
>>
>>31711718
Deformed in all the right ways.
>>
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>>31711504
>She wipes a tear off her face, as the laughing fit dies down.
>"So what did you want to talk about?"
>Those emerald green eyes look into yours, accompanied with a big smile.
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
>She gives you a noogie.
>"Don't go telling me you're in love with me and junk so quickly, nonny. I need to be wooed first, you nerd."
>You struggle to halt the playful bullying all the way to Science class with Cheerilee.
>This day is going pretty awesome. You made a new friend in Babs, and you're getting a good lay of the land.
>The tone for this class changes completely. Where Doodle was an evil ass-kissing jerk, and HarshWhinny was dull and lifeless, it's like you walked into a Disney movie.
>Ms. Cheerilee is writing something on the board, when you and Babs enter.
>She smiles at the both of you, without stopping.
>"Good morning Babs! Who is this?"
>Babs keeps her head lock on you, poking your cheek.
>"This is Anon. He's my new henchman, and Canterlot High's Student heartthrob freshman."
>You slip out of her hold, and straighten your hair.
"I'm sure they told you about me. My last name is Crown?"
>Cheerilee wags a finger realizing who you are.
>"Ooooh! You're Aemer-"
"Please. Just Anon is fine."
>Babs looks at you, and Cheeirlee.
>"What?! What's his real name? It's not Anon is it?"
>You head to a random table, not answering.
>"Hey! C'mon! Answer me!"
>Babs continues to bug you for an answer until the bell rings.
>The class continues to chatter until Cheerilee's gentle voice somehow manages to quiet everyone down.
>"Everyone! Can I have your attention please?"
>She waves her hand, getting all eyes to focus on her.
>"Before we start, I wanted to introduce a new student to the class! Can we please all say hello to Aem-Er, I mean Anon?"
>You blush, not used to having a teacher shine the spotlight over you.
>Babs elbows you with a grin.
>You sheepishly wave to all the faces turned in your direction.
>>
>>31711378
>>"Stealing a car? She went because she pulled a freaking knife on me and Diamond!"
I trusted you, Babs.
>>
>>31712022
>She was just cutting an apple open. Spears a piece of apple, points it to them. "Want some?"
>"EEEEK A KNIFE!" "I'm gonna get raped!"
>>
>Trusting the best friend of the person who hates you
At what point did you think she would be truthful or trustworthy?
>>
>>31711871
>Cheerilee claps her hands together.
>"Excellent! Now that we've gotten that settled, let's gather into our groups and continue work on our projects!"
"Projects? What projects?"
>Babs groans.
>"Just...You'll be caught up to speed in a moment."
"Uh...okay."
>SLAM.
"JESUS!"
>A stack of books is dropped on the table next to you, making your heart damn near jump out of your chest.
>The culprit being a girl with long hair, and a giddy smile.
>You, and Babs are then flanked by two other girls, who you remember seeing before.
>"Hey cuz! Is Anon going to be in our group?"
>Babs covers her face with both her hands.
>"Yes. Yes he's joining our group."
>The girls look at each other ecstatic about this new information, and gather together.
>Babs quickly jabs a finger at them.
>"NOT THE CRUSADERS!"
>The crusaders?
>As quickly as they were excited, they slink disappointedly.
"Who're the crusaders? Is that some sort of gang?"
>The girl with a huge bow in her hair, places her hands on Babs shoulders.
>"Not a gang at all! We're a club, and Cuz here is a member!"
>"Oh my god..."
>You fold your arms together.
"Babs is your cousin? Interesting!"
>"I-it's just some stupid thing we did when we were kids Anon. There's no way I'd be part of something so uncool..."
>The short-haired girl scratches her head.
>"But you came to the club meeting yesterday..."
>"FOR THE SNACKS. I CAME TO EAT THE SNACKS!"
>Babs covers her mouth, looking back at you with a forced smile.
>Seriously, what's going on?
>Also, is someone breathing on you?
>The long haired one is staring at you almost robotically, with a huge, creepy smile.
"Uh....Can I help you?"
>"You...You're Babs boyfriend aren't you?"
>"SWEETIE BELLE!"
>Babs dives over the table to choke the one now identified as Sweetie Belle, in front of you.
>"Hey, quit horsing around over there!"
>Babs stops strangling Sweetie Belle at Cheerilee's request.
>She releases the gagging girl, who falls to the ground gasping.
>>
>>31712053
This, besides Babs was honest enough to admit to doing bad shit in the past. If anon takes Silver’s word on the matter without a pinch of salt then I will punch through my screen to grab Kirko shove five pounds worth of apples down his throat
>>
>>31712056
I need to eat something. Brb anons
>>
>>31712064
Just a reminder.
Remeber what kind of story you should be writing.
>>
>>31712071
>What kind of story you should be writing
What did he mean by this?
>>
>>31712056
>>"But you came to the club meeting yesterday..."
>>"FOR THE SNACKS. I CAME TO EAT THE SNACKS!"
>>Babs covers her mouth, looking back at you with a forced smile.
>>Seriously, what's going on?
"Is... is this a sex thing?"
>>
>>31712071
Shut the fuck up Anon. Seriously. What a shitty thing to say
>>
>>31712071
>>
>>31712079
I don't think so Anon. You don't recognize the hiding of a powerlevel?
>>
>>31712071
Just a reminder
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jlnmDPUQ2k0
>>
>>31712071
>incest author
>incest thread
He's writing about tech, right? Any second now, Twilight's going to pop in and tell Anon that she doesn't believe that humans ever built cities or cars and shit like that, and then he and Babs are going to leave school and go out into a desert and build a city.
>>
>>31712083
It's probably the same faggot from last thread bitching again. As if the story still isn't just barely starting or something.
>>
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>>31712064
>pic related
>>31712071
as for you dipshit, hide the thread and be about your business if you don't like it. no one's forcing you to read
>>
If the anon that kept going on about the thread white knighting the fuck out of Kirko is still around, I would whole heartedly agree with you right now.
>>
>>31712162
Again, knock it off with the negative waves brah
>>
>>31709385
FUCK
>>
>>31709411
That was hot as fuck my dude.
>>
>>31712056
Sweetie Bell you madwoman
>>
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bamping with non promotions Babs
>>
>>31712071
I don't care as long as the story is nice and lewd, but I can wait for that
>>
>>31710845
Because that's not a zilch about veterans, just bout why they hate each other
>>
>>31712747
What?
>>
>>31712064
Update your pastebin.
>>
>>31712162
yeah fucking kirko with his shitty stories, shitty anon names, shitty ends, shitty non-incest shit shit. shit.
>>
Speaking of pastebins, are either of the two general pastebin keepers going to set up a pastebin for the dt story?
>>
>>31711504
Don't be such a faggot, Anon, holy shit.
>>
>>31712056
>>Babs dives over the table to choke the one now identified as Sweetie Belle, in front of you.
>>"Hey, quit horsing around over there!"
>>Babs stops strangling Sweetie Belle at Cheerilee's request.
>>She releases the gagging girl, who falls to the ground gasping.
kek
>>
>>31712162
Oh hey thats me. Arguing is pointless. Kirko could forcefeed them shit and theyd enjoy it
>>
>>31710154
I'm pretty sure they were mentioned as basically peace and love hippies who like drugs, who else would name their child Fizzlepop Berrytwist?

They obviously disapproved of their daughter's 'warmongering' ways, or something like that.
>>
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>>31712098
IncesTech
"It's a Family Business."
>>
>>31708680
>Not just regular hot either, in the way your male students tend to sprout up from weedy kids to men over the course of a semester or two either
>Fair green skin, styled black hair, well tailored clothes over top a high-school athlete build. He looks like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue
>He introduces himself as Anon. Anon B. Rich actually, adopted son of Filthy and Spoiled Rich
>He also seems eager to get to know you. Just one little snag
>Filthy has forbade him from ever seeking out his real parents. He doesn't know who you are, but he assumed his real mother must have been some troubled junkie teenage whore, and he doesn't want his carefully groomed heir to be dragged down by her
>Stuck up asshole. He was only half right
>Your heart is breaking; you just finally found your son after all these years, and your about to lose him again
>Until he suggests a plan.
>A crazy, sure-to-backfire plan that's going to burn the two of you and this entire town when it finally comes out
"What if we just pretended we were dating? Nobody needs to find out the truth."
>This is a terrible mistake.
>At least you have to remind yourself of that when Rich takes you out to dinner and a movie every Friday evening in his european luxury car
>You hate to admit that this is the most fun you've had "dating" in years
>You hate even more that sometimes you catch yourself staring at him wistfully sometimes, longing for something you absolutely should feel ashamed for
>You know this can't possibly last...
>>
>>31712056
>"Hey, quit horsing around over there!"

DAMM YOU CARLOS!
>>
>>31713163
See, this shit right here, this is a good name. Puned just right to sell the story.
>>
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I have a mighty need for more cute moondancer greens.
>>
>>31713629
Come off it anon. All anyone wants is incest lewd to fap to. Not an actual story
>>
>>31713642
>not both
Why are you even here if not to erect both your pants boner and your heart boner?
>>
>>31713648
Just watch the autism start when the lewd takes too long in kirko’s story.
>>
>>31713661
Speak for yourself, I had a blast the first time around. Though I am a little sad that the current story has had barely any DT thus far.
>>
>>31713666
It just started. Kirko does shit crockpot style. A slow cook
>>
>>31713666
Its okay satan, your little she devil will be there.
>>31713671
Except for the ending. That shits lifted out of the pot and throw right into the fire.
>>
>>31713671
Yeah I know, it just seems like a rather unorthodox start. Still, I was enthralled like a motherfucker last story so hopefully it goes somewhere good.
>>
>>31713642
Don't you fucking dare. I want a good story, not some cheap porn-magazine.
>>
>>31713683
The only thing you want to start doing is fapping.
>>
>>31713690
>implying I'm not fapping right now
>>
>>31713683
I think it will
>>
>>31713715
Can I has ID?
>>
>>31713756
No.
>>
>>31713715
Sauce?
>>
>>31713715
I can have sauce for this hopeful breeding?
>>
>>31713892
>>31713916
No.
>>
>>31714090
Why not faggot?
>>
>>31708296
What's the status of big sister Rainbow Dash? Is it finished, or still updated
>>
>>31714142
It's in a constant state of "I'm not busy anymore so I'll start writing again".
>>
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>>31708296
Trixie likes teasing her cousin.
>>
>>31714234
>"Anon, you can see that Trixie is wearing a shirt underneath her zip-up hoodie, yes?"
>"Trixie wants you to know that this is unusual."
>>
>>31714328
That’s a pretty shitty looking nipple
>>
>>31714334
SEE?!
I too can never tell what the fuck is up with how that guy draws nips, man.
>>
>>31714234
Soon, as in sometime today soon, got busy starting something for >>31713629
>>
>>31714328
>"Trixie needs not jacket, Ah-non. She us used to much colder weather in the winters of her country."
>"She needs only warm hoodie."
>"See? Trixie does not even need to wear shirt under cloth!"
>"Trixie thinks you are not of the belief. Trixie thinks you should give feel of breast with warm hands and dexterous fingers."
>"You will make great husband for Trixie when we go back home to motherland."
>>
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>>31714366
>russian trixie

YES
>>
>>31712959
I've backed up what he has in his pastebin, just need to go through the archives and copy/paste it and then link it in thread so onii chan fables can add it to the general pastebin.
>>
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>>31714387
>Ywn accidentally pick a seat next to the exchange student
>Ywn look at her, wondering what in the hell she's saying
>Ywn see her bashful smile as she gives out a heavily accented, "Soreh."
>Ywn get annoyed as she constantly pokes your side, asking what the teacher is saying
>Ywn have to slowly repeat the lesson
>Ywn see a slow wave of realization hit her face
>Ywn get that grateful smile
>Ywn get up as class is over
>Ywn head to your usual lunch spot with the lads
>Ywn see her standing about, looking uncertainly about the cafateria for a place to sit
>Ywn have the internal debate of what to do
>Ywn have a friendship that grows from there
>Ywn look back at how it all began as you're both looking at your firstborn
Why live?
>>
>>31713678
Have you ever managed to serve anything out of a crockpot and not spill it everywhere?
>>
>>31714334
Iunno I've seen tits like that
they are a tad high though. and the dialogue is mildly cringey.
>>31714316
>"In fact this is just a tube top under here. It would roll up easily."
>>
>>31714366
>"Yeah no, I'm not going with you back to bumfuckistani nowhere and living in your cold war bunker eating sardines for the rest of my life."
>'...But is room enough for two and I share rations, Cousin. Is no longer up for debate, yes?'
>"The fuck? No damni-"
>'Spring is wonderful in motherland, is time when for hunt. Ah-non look so dashing standing over first bull elk felled by bare hands.'
>>
>>31714433
>"Ah-non! Love of life, look what Trixie find!"
>"See? Is funny coincidence. You have the aunt named 'Anastasia Kuznetsov', yes?"
>"Is also name of mine mother!"
>"She is say he have sister who leave motherland when she was very young."
>"Met foreign man and fall in the love with him. Move away to foreign man's homeland."
>"Never hear her since."
>"..."
>"Anyway, Trixie brought vodka. You have lunch, yes?"
>>
>>31714456
> Kuznetzov
That's male version, female would be Kuznetsov_a_

>>31714452
And elk must be either one leg in the trap, or starving to the point of not being able to break your skull with a good kick.
>>
>>31714469
My bad. I just googled a list of Russian last names and grabbed one at random. I didn't know that surnames in Russian were gendered like first names were.
>>
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>>31714471
They often are. Though, if they are eastern, they can be without gender. For example, ukrainian or belorussian ones ending with -ko, or something -nskih near Volga. Pretty much anything with blank letters on end is gendered, except when it's a literal noun.
>>
>>31714456
>"yes"
>not "da"

Why?
>>
>>31714533
Thhat's never happening irl. Numbers do though.
>>
>>31714556
>Thhat's never happening irl

Eh?
>>
>>31714564
Strain your skull muscle a little and imagine what words would slip more - fundamental common ones, that you learn in the first day of studying foreign language, or those which you don't often use even in your own?
>>
>>31714593
As a slav i can tell you that i use DA on daily basis.
>>
>>31714648
In english conversations, poekhavshiy?
>>
>>31714533
Same reason I chose a male-gendered last name for Trixie: a mixture of ignorance and laziness.
>>
>>31714674
Poyekhavshiy.
>>
>>31712056
>"Hey, quit horsing around over there!"
you think you're funny don't you Carlos?
>>
>>31713642
The dazzle story was nice
>>
>>31714983
>Aria, Sonata, and Adagio realize that Anon is being sincere in being a decent person
>He's the first person to ever treat them as anything but hated burdens
>They latch onto him like motherfuckers
>"I-If we have sex with him, then he'll love us! Then he can NEVER leave us! Never ever!"
>>
>>31708296
>you will never teach your rich bitch niece a lesson in humility
>>
>>31715046
with paddles?
>>
>>31714234
Which one is this from?
>>
>>31715066
>Diamond Tiara
>Spanking fetish
I'm... actually O.K. with this...
>>
>>31715151
She's yearning for the "discipline" she hasn't been given by her parents...
>>
File deleted.
>"Cousin Anon, as your future wife I must put penis in mouth to mark you as territory, da?"
"Trixie wai-"
>>
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hi
>>
>>31715167
Go forth madman, and become as god.
>>
>>31715066
>>31715151
I was thinking rough buttstuff, but this is good too
>>
>>31715280
Only if its okay to mark her womb as mine. Also post the capped version of that pic
>>
>>31715238
>This man receiving a blowjob from a woman sure is gay
What does it mean when you see gayness everywhere you go?
>>
>>31714365
Bless you!
>>
>>31715280
When did this thread become so motherfucking cool?
>>
>>31715612
When we get smut stories we level up. Pretty simple system.
>>
>>31715650
Godspeed you based black ugandan bastard. May the heavens smile kindly on you.
>>
>>31715650
PRAISE THE MADMAN, PRAISE ANON Y. MOUS! FUCK THE CAMPY COUSIN!
>>
>>31715650
M-Madman? I thought you were dead.
>>
>>31715673
WHENEVER SMUT IS DROPPED, MADMAN IS THERE, HE IS THE HERO WE DONT DESERVE, BUT ALWAYS SHOW GRATITUDE TOO, FOR HE IS THE MADMAN!
>>
>>31715650
> she won't cry her eyes out returning in her apartament after the shift is over for the winter
> you won't ever wait her on the stairs to return something she forgot or whatever
> she won't drag you inside and voice the rolling credits with moans and grunts
>>
>>31715702
Wat?
>>
>>31715719
Well, this was also posted immediately after the Gloriosa rampage, I thought I'd repost it too
>>
>>31715726
It makes no sense, what the hell is it trying to say?
>>31715702
If you repost stuff and its gibberish try making it legible first.
>>31715739
You and everyone else on this board. But besides the point. You are THE MADMAN, you will never die, only rest and fap, until its time to grace us with moar.
>>
>>31713629
>You are Anon, Moondancer's little brother
>There was an accident when you were younger, leaving you and Moonie on your own
>She did her best to raise you and tried to give you a normal childhood
>Mother's day is coming soon
>She may technically be your sister, but you still plan on doing something special for her to show your appreciation
>>
>>31715871
Can you even read, or you just come here for titty pics?
>>
>>31715880
Cum inside of her.
>>
>>31715890
Based Madman.
>>
>>31715890
Bless your heart, my Albino Ugandan brother.
>>
>>31715894
I'm with >>31715871 here. >>31715702 sounds like a particularly retarded slav made it. What does "returning IN her apartment" mean, and what idea is attempting to be conveyed with "the shift is over for the winter"?

>she won't drag you inside and voice the rolling credits with moans and grunts
The credits to what? How do you voice scrolling text, let alone with grunts?

>"Oh yeah, HNG TOM HANKS OHHH EXECUTIVE PRODUUUUCEERRR~~"
>>
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>>31715940
>>"Oh yeah, HNG TOM HANKS OHHH EXECUTIVE PRODUUUUCEERRR~~"
Fucking gold
>>
>>31715940
> tfw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQuT-Xfyk3o
>>
>>31715940
>sounds like a particularly retarded slav made it
Didn't write that >>31715702, but it's sound offensively, you meanie.
>"the shift is over for the winter"
Even i understand what that mean what the camp is closing for a winter peroid.

t.slav
>>
>>31715650
which character is this and can there be something fun with her and treehugger
>>
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>>31716055
>apparently not bothered by eqg
>posting in an exclusively eqg thread
>not having seen eqg
>>
>>31716039
Before Kirko stumbled upon here. He had a pretty kek worthy Sweetie Belle green on a thread that got nuked couples months back.
I wish I would of saved those fake text messages and facebook post Sweetie made.
Also that Sunset comment still makes me laugh.
>>
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>>31716073
Perhaps he doesn't think of them as ayylmaos and sees them like they were pic related?
>>
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>>31716055
Gloriosa Daisy from Legend of Everfree, and anything may be made if you beg for it enough.
>>
>>31715895
specifically inside her vagina
allow her cervix to take it into her womb and then make babbu
>>
>>31716085
>Diamond Tiara tries to make Anon jealous by wearing that dress
>"Ugh... how could he choose to associate himself with a criminal like Babs Seed over me?"
>>"I thought you hated him."
>"I DO, Silver Spoon! It's the principle of it!"
>>
>>31716103
>filename
Ain't that the truth. Lots of people love her other look but I think she's great just the way she is.
>>
>>31716112
Lots of people love her other look because villains get tenfold of attention, especially from designers. I don't say they're proper, but still way better that they put on protagonists.
>>
>>31716073
eqg has bad writing. even the normal show has bad writing now. but I still like the cute art and the fanfiction
I also don't know where I would go to watch it
>>
>>31716260
netflix
>>
>>31716276
like, for free
Is it really worth it? If I'm gonna watch girly shows that arent good and smart like early FiM i'm gonna go watch some magical girl anime. maybe with some inner-self no-nipples nudity in it.
>>
>>31716282
dailymotion should have them uploaded somewhere
you might have to fish around for decent quality uploads
>>
>>31716289
I don't care much about graphics quality, just writing quality
>>
>>31716076
>>
>>31716299
>cute teenage girls will never have this kind of crush on you
>and if they do you can't even enjoy it anymore
I'll find the closest guy to young me and send her his way. It's the least I can do.
>>
>>31716299
Kek.
>>
>>31716299
>Sweetie "Mz. Anonymous" Belle
>Sweetie had a phase where she had a crush on her older brother and would loudly declare to anyone who stood still long enough that she was going to marry him someday
>The adults thought it was funny, Anon thought it was mortifying, and Rarity never let either of them live it down
>Thing is, Sweetie never grew out of that phase
>Jealous, she tended to make things difficult for Anon and his girlfriend to get it on as long as she was in the house with them
>Anon's girlfriend, Sunset Shimmer, knows competition when she sees it
>Considering that Sweetie is Anon's sister, Sunset can't bully her into submission and make her leave them alone
>And so as the old saying goes: if you can't beat'em, join'em
>Two heads are better than one, and what man can turn down two pussies and two pairs of tits?
>"Anon? Anon, sweetheart, Sweetie Belle and I have something to show you~"
>>
>>31716626
Yessssss, horse girl has an excellent head on her shoulders. Pun intended.
>>
>>31716666
You have good taste super satan.
>>
>>31715937
nice vagiber
>>
>>31716626
>They have a heated argument where they declare only one of them can be the wife and the other has to be the pet who gets to sleep at the foot of the bed and still enjoy concubine type relations but has to be the #2 (and maybe get some help from the real wife once in a while)
>Then they can't decide which one would rather be the pet
>So they take turns
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>>31716766
Anon must facepalm before grabbing them both and calling them silly, boop their noses with his dick, and proceed to snuggle them both in a cuddle pile.
>>
>>31667976
>A piercing ray of life-giving sunlight forces you from your dreams as you throw a hand over your eyes.
>”Mhmmm...”
>The warm weight on your right arm falls aside as you sit up in bed, wiping the crust from your vision.
>You look over to see Sonata’s adorable scowl as she snatches your arm up again and tries to pull you back down.
“C’mon, Sonata,” you drawl, prying your limb free from her and throwing your legs over the side of the bed.
>”But it’s coooold!” she whines, scooting on her side to press herself back into you.
>You laugh and stand up, turning around and pulling the girl up by one arm.
>She stubbornly follows you, taking your comforter and throwing it around her like a shawl, her bare legs quivering.
“You’re cute when you’re mad, you know?” you tease.
>Unexpectedly, she smiles and blushes, opening up her cotton chrysalis to hug you.
>”Good morning, Uncle Anon.”
>You can’t help but beam with pride as you return the embrace.
>You could really get used to hearing that.
>A few seconds of silence pass before the both of you are startled by a sharp knocking on your bedroom door.
>You open the door and stumble backwards as the other sisters burst into the room, Adagio tackling you to the ground with a ferocity you thought impossible from such a spindly frame.
>You hear Aria muttering something to Sonata over the youngest girl’s protests.
>But most of your attention is focused on the near-feral snarl Adagio’s giving you, not unlike a den mother whose cub has been killed.
“Get off of me!” You shout as you press one palm into the eldest’s stomach and push her off with ease.
>No sooner than you begin to stand she immediately scrabbles over to Sonata, her slender shoulders squared up to match her grimace.
>”Adi, what the hell?” Sonata snaps.
>”I knew it! I knew you were the same, you son of a bitch!” Adagio screams, pointing one finger at you.
“What are you talking about?” you reply.
>>
>>31717241
forgot my fucking name again jesus tap-dancing christ

>”Sis, this isn’t what it-“
>”What I’m talking about is you bringing my sister into your bed right after she put her trust in you!” Adagio said. “After all the water she carried for you last night, you turned right around-“
>”ADAGIO!”
>The room becomes deadly quiet for a few short seconds, Aria tucking herself against the closet door.
>”Anon let me sleep in here so you and Aria could have some space,” Sonata continued in her normal voice. “I was the one who suggested it.”
>Her words do little to alleviate Adagio’s incensed glare at you.
>”Sonata, if you’re lying to me because you don’t want to make him mad-“
>”Would you quit it already?” Sonata cut her off. “I’m clothed, he’s clothed, and we don’t smell awful, so why are you still acting like he’s the bad guy?”
>Adagio’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she failed to find words, before settling into a curt snarl.
>”...sis, you can’t just assume you know what happened,” Sonata replies. “And you don’t have to scared anymore, remember? He’s family.”
>A moment of shock seems to overpower Adagio for a moment, and your own shoulder unconsciously loosen as she slumps to the floor.
>”You can’t scare me like this, Sonata,” she croaks out. “We always wake up together.”
>”I should’ve told you, sis,” Sonata said as she knelt down. “And I’m sorry for that.”
>Sonata gives Adagio a small smile of reassurance as she pulls her sister up into a hug.
>”We’re not going anywhere.”
“...So, breakfast?”
>Your awkward interruption manages to crack the glare Adagio gives you into an amused smirk.
>Walking over to Aria, your lightening mood crashes again at her clutched expression, eyelids smashed tightly against each other.
“Aria?” you whisper, gently tapping her on the shoulder.
>>
>>31717257
>She convulses at the contact, whimpering and flattening her back against the wall.
>You decide right then and there that that call to Hyun you promised needs to happen.
“...Aria, it’s Anon. Can you look at me?”
>You swear to God you can hear her heart pounding in her chest as she lets one eye open, her ragged ventilating slowing and smoothing as her sisters each take one hand.
>”I’m sorry for yelling, Aria,” Adagio croons as the middle sister’s shoulders uncoil at her touch.
“...I’ll get the food started,” you near-incoherently mutter as you back out of the room.
>Adagio seems like she has it covered.

—-

“And, voila!” you proudly announce as you set a steaming hot plate in front of each of your nieces.
>Adagio rolls her eyes as she keeps the same uneasy glare she’s had on you for most of her time in your home.
>You really hope that the bedroom incident isn’t going to be a recurring thing, although Aria seemingly acting like her normal, quiet self after clamming up like that makes you question if she's really as uptight as she'd like you to think.
>The other two are already poking at the stack of pancakes before them with their forks.
>”Uncle Anon? Isn’t there normally syrup served with these?” Sonata pipes up.
“These don’t need it, trust me,” you laugh.
>All three of them shrug and pop a forkful of breakfast in their mouths.
>All at once, you hear three surprised, muffled moans of pleasure as the sisters close their eyes, savoring your cooking.
>You giggle over the sound of curled toes popping under the table and dig in yourself.
>So much easier to just use vanilla in the batter.
>As the glare on Adagio's face fades after breakfast, you excuse yourself and walk back to your bedroom.
>Three taps on a touchscreen later, and Hyun's voice comes through your cellphone receiver.
>"I was beginning to think I'd have to physically come over," she quips.
>>
>>31717276
"Hyun, you know I love sass at 8:30 in the morning, but I'm not in the mood."
>"And I'm not in the mood to have a powwow with my neighbor over parenting issues, but I didn't put you on voicemail, did I?"
"Hyun, please, I've already been assaulted verbally by one woman younger than me today. I don't need another tongue-thrashing."
>She sighs into your ear, and you swear you can hear her eyes rolling.
>"Alright. How are each of them doing?"
"Adagio's been the most aggressive out of all of them," you reply. "She's uptight about most things and usually glares or gives some sort of worried look whenever I'm around the others."
>"Go on."
"She... attacked me this morning when she found out one of the others slept with me last night-"
>"Hold up."
>You gulp at the sound of her voice dropping and sharpening.
>"You slept with one of them?"
"Sonata. She's the only one who seems to trust me, and even then, she might just be trying to put on a face to avoid upsetting me."
>"And I assume that this was actual sleeping?"
"Yes, Mother Superior."
>You giggle at her exasperated sigh.
>"So what happened?"
"She knocked me to the ground, I pushed her off. She accused me of the... other kind of sleeping, and Sonata managed to calm her down somewhat."
>"Somewhat?"
"The whole thing kinda blew over when Aria clammed up over the yelling."
>"...oh no."
>That doesn't sound good.
>"So you're on Sonata's good side?"
"Yeah. She's the only one who calls me uncle, and isn't afraid to approach me or ask for something."
>"You have no idea how lucky you are that she's opening up to you this quickly."
"What do you mean?" you reply.
>"Oh right, you haven't got the chance to get the CoI release processed, have you?"
"No. I was hoping you could expedite that," you mutter, leaning back against your dresser.
>>
>>31717287
Pastebin? This is pretty good, once tried my hand at an Uncle Anon story with the three shits, got 40k words in before growing tired, deeming it shit, and only publishing a small bit on /dzg/ a long while back. Needless to say, your's is better.
>>
Ded
>>
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>>31717276
I wanna give Aria a hug, except it seems like that would only make things worse...
>>
>>31717603
https://pastebin.com/RCRbDWF9
>>
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>>31717666
Thanks Satan
>>
>>31717678
https://pastebin.com/CVRGe8Zu
Split for reading convenience/mobile users
>>
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>You'll never fuck the demon out of your sister
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>>31717915
I can only assume people dot really make stuff with her is because she already has a brother. So why don't we switch it up and be the ultra helpful uncle that visits and keeps big bad Filthy Rich away from the camp?
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>>31717915
There aren't nearly enough Timber and Gloriosa lewds in the world.
>>
>Like ever
>>
>Not even once
>>
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>>31717929
Or you can just make Timber fuck off because of college or something, that way her baby brother Anon can be "volunteered" into helping her
>>
>>31717980
He's sent off to deal with this>>31717960
hot mess, (and probably dies) while Anon and Glorissa practice breeding techniques to show their hippy visitors.
>>
>>31717940
He likes them young.
>>
>>31717990
And he will die of mysterious circumstances when Shinning finds out. So who cares.
>>
>>31717929
>I can only assume people dot really make stuff with her is because she already has a brother.
Doesn't stop Apple greens, or Twilight greens, or Fluttershy greens...
I guess writefags just aren't fans of Gloriosa, because greens involving characters with canon male siblings just write them off and don't even mention their existence so I don't see why Timber wouldn't be given the same treatment
>>
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>>No.31688854
>”You never cease to be a Godsend, dearest nephew.”
>Doing up a final zipper of Luna's finally packed hiking bag, you give it a thorough once-over
“It’s nothing, really.”
>...Seems everything’s packed away nicely
>Making to stand, you’re met with an abrupt hug
>And a damn strong one at that, your feet soon coming off the carpet as she gives out a small giggle
>The embrace lasts for a good twenty seconds before you’re gently lowered to the carpet
>A lone, delicate kiss is placed on your forehead
>There’s a lingering scent of lilac and gooseberries
>”Well, regardless of what you think, I’m very grateful.”
>She gently grabs your wrist, leading you out of her room
>”Come, come, let’s get dinner started and pour out some drinks.”
>There’s a warm squeeze
>”It’s been far, far too long since we’ve had some personal time to sit and talk, don’t you agree?”
>You let her drag you along
>A low hum leaves your throat
“We have been pretty busy, now that you think about it.”
>Down the stairs and into the kitchen you are lead, the aunt leaving you at the table before heading to the fridge
“Last time we had time to relax was, what, the last family camping trip?”
>She gives out a refined chuckle
>”I’m afraid so.”
>Your eyes widen slightly as she goes to pull out an expensive-looking bottle and two drinking glasses
>You’re forced to give an impressed whistle when she moves to you, as if reading your mind, and places the thing before you
>”Do be a dear and open that thing for me while I get everything in order…”
>Naturally, you’d offer to help cook
>But, then again, you’ve learned that she’s always one to insist on doing the cooking for any guests
>Something about, “The natural order”
>Yeah, you’ve no idea
>And with a shrug, you pull out your swiss army knife before having at it
>You glance at the brand while you’re at it
>...Sounds French
>>
>>31718197
>But that doesn’t matter, what matters is the year
>2003?
>You whistle a high-pitched-one as you undo the thing, careful to pour each glass
>You have no idea if that’s good or bad, but, hey, it’s something
>You take a preparatory whiff of the stuff…
>Feels like someone stuffed a fucking match up there, holy shit
>You can hear her laugh among the clatter of pots and ingredients being laid out
>”Only the best for my little helper.”
>You catch her eye
“I’m taller than you.”
>She rolls her eyes at this, smile still present
>”You’ll always be my little helper, no matter your semantics.”
>You take a hesitant drink…
>Your eyes are screwed shut and you nearly buckle under the pressure to upchuck that shit ASAP
>”Like it?”
>You give a low nod, giving a low growl once it’s finally down and there to stay
“Not bad.”
>She gives a low, satisfied hum
>”I thought you would.”
>Slowly, surely, you begin to take bigger sips from the glass
>Besides the burn, it doesn’t actually taste all too bad
>Just as you go for a refill, somewhat having to put a bit of mental force as to keep the bottle steady, you catch something in your peripherals
>Or rather someone…
>...
>......
>Hmmm
>Green tea, water, or coffee?
>Getting low, you rummage further through the fridge
>”Trix…?”
>You give a low hum to auntie, eyes not leaving the shelves racked with drinks and foodstuffs
>”This… this is the reason I…”
>Her voice crumbles into a low fit of giggles
>Grabbing a can of tea, you shut the fridge and give her a curious look
“Are you quite alright?”
>Cracking the can open and taking a sip, you slightly shudder at how cold it is
>She only shakes her head before returning her attention to the steak
>”I’m… I’m quite fine, honey.”
>She still gives off the occasional giggle, not once meeting your eyes
>You groan
>Not this again
>It’s been, what, half a year since the fallout with dad happened?
>>
>>31718203
>Half a year since you and mom had to move in with auntie!
>And you’ve had this argument countless times with her about how it’s perfectly acceptable to wear as little as much, or as little, as you pleased… within reason, of course
“Auntie Luna, if we have visitors and guests about the place, then the Perceptive and Well-Endowed Trixie will clothe herself properly.”
>Another sip of the drink is followed by a larger fit of giggles from auntie
>Is she drunk again?
>”Sure, Trix, sure.”
>You want to raise a finger, to prove how her fears have not once been founded by an actual incident, but you decide against it
>You’ve got that paper to finish
>Rolling your eyes, you turn and ma—
>Oh
>Oh God…
>...
>......
>Is…
>”You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her run that fast…”
>Is it hot in here?
“That’d… uh, that’d… yeah.”
>Shaking off the situation, you down another glass of the stuff
>Not too bad, really
>You two share a laugh, though you can’t dare to meet her eyes
>Sure, you’ve seen her like that from years prior, but those were way back
>But that…?
>God have mercy
>”Terribly sorry about that, Anon.”
>You try and laugh it off, going for another refill
“Don’t worry about it.”
>You can all but feel the smug coming from the next few words…
>”Oh, and what of your cheeks?”
>You take another drink, definitely feeling its effects now
>”They make me feel as if I should have a problem.”
>There she goes…
>Giggling that poised giggle that she always giggles
>Wait, why are you laughing too?
>Fuck, stuff’s stronger than you thought
>”But, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised… she’s been clinging onto you since the day you met.”
>That’s…
>That’s not really funny, so why are you laughing
>And why’s it so hot again?
>This is a bit too much for you to process immediately, so you stare at her with a smile, mouth moving yet only scattered fragments of a sentence coming out
>>
>>31718208
>”Oh, wait, am I onto something here?”
>Another shared laugh, your brain acting on autopilot
>You go to speak, but you can barely raise a finger, much less formulate words
>”Well, don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”
>Not good
>Panic?
>Hmmm
>It seems like a pretty good option—
>She gives another giggle, stirring you from your thoughts
>”Well, at least you aren’t so worried about the whole ‘blood’ thing like everyone else.”
>You blink
>”Say, since you don’t mind…”
>Wait, since when was she wearing yoga pants?
>”Do these make me look fat?”
>She takes a break from attending the food, pressing herself against the fridge while making a myriad of poses
>”I mean, I’ve asked Damascus, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t swing that way and just said it to make be feel good, so I’d like a second opinion…”
>You…
>Wow, uh, you…
>You give the universal ‘Okay’ hand gesture, eyes flickering between her and the uh… assets
>”Oh, this is gold.”
>She runs a hand through her hair, whipping it around just a little
>”Your mother always jokes about how much more wandering eyes she gets every time we go out…”
>She does another wiggle of the ass
>”Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see her face now.”
>Finishing it is whatever she’s cooking, Luna saunters her way over to the table
>Okay, there’s no way she walks like that normally
>Hips swaying back and forth…
>The look in her eyes…
>The gentle bite of the lip…
>Crossing your legs in an attempt to hide little Anon, you lean back slightly in your seat
>She takes this as a sign to sit atop the table, no more than a foot away
>”I mean, I don’t look too old, do I?”
>She takes a pose, putting one arm behind her head and the other resting on her thigh
>Your face must have betrayed you, for she gives another giggle
>Picking up her glass, she takes a dainty sip
>”It’s rude to keep a woman waiting, Anonymous.”
>>
>>31718215
>Lifting your eyes to finally meet hers, you can’t help the small smile slowly growing on your face
>It must be the drink forcing your eyes to feast on her curves
>It must be the drink forcing little Anon to become one of pure iron
>It must be the drink that forces two words out of your mouth
>Two words that make your aunt’s eyes narrow with satisfaction and temptation
“I would.”
>And, with that, you slump down in your seat, forehead giving a meaty ‘Thunk!’ as it collides with the table
>...
>......
>Hmmm
>Well, this is anticlimactic
>And you were so close too
>And there he goes
>Off into dreamland…
>Sighing, you idly go to ease the growing itch between your legs
>Maybe you’ll have time during the camping trip?
>That thought wipes away the disappointed frown on your face
>A good flask of wine here, a gentle touch there…
>Under the moonlight, your gasps and moans echoing out into the wilderness?
“Maybe this was for the best.”
>Standing up, you make your way over to the stove
>And though you were planning on a nice, romantic dinner of steak and saute, you can’t help but chuckle at it all
>It’s a dangerous game you play
>The potential for repercussions?
>Limitless, to the point of losing every semblance of family you have and possible jail time
>But, then again, that’s what makes it fun
>The sheer thrill
>The primal fear of being caught
>Humming a little tune, you put your attention back to cooking, all the while trying to ignore the itch
>...
>......
>This is bullshit
>”Please, dearest cousin?”
>This is fucking bullshit
>”The Lowly and Supplicating Trixie would be grateful to the utmost degree!”
>Has she ever even read the fucking Geneva Conventions?
>Those puppy eyes and that way she refuses to meet your eyes, her hands nervously fidgeting about
>This has to be a war crime up there with the six gorillion…
>>
>>31718220
>And adding onto this, you even had to help her pack her shit right after she got out of school
>Apparently she forgot about the camping trip
>How the fuck could she forget the family camping trip?
>It’s every year, the start of every Spring break, without fail
>Hell, you even remembered it, and you woke up with one hell of a hangover and only twenty minutes to pack
“I dunno, smurfette…”
>Your eyes flicker between her and mother’s van
>Or, rather, they flicker to the woman in the backseat
>The expectant smile on her face tears away at your bitter resolve
>She…
>She can’t possibly be in on this, can she?
>Sunflower, you goddamn hippie...
>You give a long, drawn out sigh
“Go put your bags in the van.”
>Shifting slightly in your seat, you give your vehicle another once-over
>It’s a simple enough motorcycle
>It’s a cruiser, jet black for maximum puss catching, and has seats enough for two…
>A faint smile comes to your face as you undo your stahlhelm
>It really was nice of Luna to sell you the thing for such a good price
>The abrupt feeling of, ‘Oh shit, Anon, you’re forgetting something important’ is brought to an end as you notice Trixie returning to your side
>The smile on her face is almost blinding
>You give her a preemptive, “Shush,” before standing
“Stay still for a second.”
>And for once in her life, she listens to you
>Her happy and wide eyes never leave your own as you place the helmet on her
>”Trixie has never ridden on a motorcycle, is it fun? Is it as hard as it looks? Is it—”
>You silence her with a soft, if not playful, slap to the side of the helmet
>Her look turns into one of puzzlement before returning to joy
>Making sure everything was snug and in place, making sure not to have the thing pull at her hair at all, you give it a gentle pat
“Alright, seems good… try nodding for me.”
>She gives an overly-enthusiastic nod
>>
>>31718227
>And, much to your relief, the helmet remains glued to her hollow little head
>You finally return her smile
>Taking the bike by the reigns, you give her a motion to follow
>She takes a moment to get on, but she she does
>Fuck, it’s like she’s giving you a bearhug from behind
>...Better to be too tight than to be too loose, you suppose
“Yeah, just hold on like that the rest of the way, and you should make it there in one piece.”
>”Trixie likes it when she survives!”
>You return the laugh, putting the key into the ignition
>Glancing back to the van, you can see three faces of varying emotion
>Your mom, for one, looks at you with a worried expression, apprehension clear in her eyes at your lack of head protection
>Luna, meanwhile, gives you an approving nod, being one of the main reasons you got into biking in the first place
>Sunflower just wears her usual face of mellow happiness
>This time, though, you think that there’s a bit more honesty in the smile and a little less herbal medication
>You rev up the vehicle and pull up next to the van
>”Now, sunshine, promise me you’ll drive sa—”
>”Pop a wheelie!”
>”Luna!”
“Say I won’t.”
>”Anonymous Unknown, don’t you dare think—”
>”You won’t, no balls!”
>No balls
“No balls?”
>”Anonymous!”
>”No. Balls.”
>”Anonymous, I swear on everything that is good and—”
>The deafening screech of burning rubber, vocal cords, and the wind whipping at your ears
>And, above all that, you can hear Luna’s cheer
>Man, can she scream...
>Oh, and so can Trixie too, you guess
>Cracking a smile, you ignore the slight tremble in the arms holding onto your midsection for dear life
>Hurricane Hill, here you come
>>
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>>31718232
https://pastebin.com/45fcZNuP
>>31713629
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!
>>
>>31713629
>It’s kind of funny, really
“No, I get it, it’s just—”
>She can hug whoever she wants, claiming that they’re like her brothers
“No, I don’t—”
>She can speak with whoever she pleases
“Yes… Yes…”
>But, hell, God forbid you go to cheer on CHS, your alma mater of years past, when the soccer team makes it to the state championship
“Yeah… alright, I… yeah.”
>The CHS soccer team has only made it to state how many times?
“Sorry… I love you too, beautiful.”
>Oh, right
>Once
>Sighing, you end the call and shove the phone back into its usual pocket
>Lips being singed by the clearly-spent cigarette, you spit it out and reach for another one with a shaky hand
>Flicking open your lighter, you take in a deep breath…
>”H-hey, Anon?”
>Blinking, you turn to meet a set of eyes
>A set of nervous, hopeful, and purple eyes
>A smile, however forced, comes to your face as you flick the cancer stick to the ground before stomping it out
“Yeah, what’cha need, Looney?”
>Her eyes flicker to the floor as your eyes meet, a small blush appearing soon after
>”I, uh, I… help… need help.”
>Without another word, she reaches up and grabs your hand
>Or, rather, grabs a whole finger with her baby hands
>Yeah, she’s still waiting out on that growth spurt
>Wordlessly she leads you back into the house, your mind alight with ideas all the while
>She see another spider?
>Can she not reach the animal crackers?
>Or does she need some help with some school project?
>...Probably not the later
>She always did her homework on the ride home
>”Second grade is easy,” she would always say
>Pfft
>She must’ve gotten the good genes—
>”Stuck.”
>Blinking, you shake yourself from the reverie
>You look up to the television
>A smile slowly creeps its way onto your face
>Subspace Emissary?
>And the first boss no less?
>A faint chuckle escapes your throat as she leads you to the couch
>”Help.”
>>
>>31718252
>And so with a quiet shake of the head, you plop your ass down
>A moment later, though, you notice something very, very wrong
>She tries handing you a Wiimote
>M-maybe she isn’t the prodigy after all…
>Giviner her head a quick pat, you stand up, quickly making way for the little box besides the TV where all the game supplies are held
“For your first problem, Looney…”
>You pull out two gamecube controllers
>A bit worn, yes
>A bit nasty if you looked at the gunk between the gaps, sure
>But, fuck, these things have to be the greatest battle implement ever devised
>You hear a small gasp as you flip open the top of the Wii
>”Y-you broke it!”
>You shake your head, plugging the things in
“Nah, these are the controller ports.”
>”...Wait, what?”
>She scampers her way to your side before peering over your shoulder, a scrutinizing look in her eyes
>She stares at it for a few moments, tilting her head like a confused puppy
>Her gaze soon melts into a neutral, if not happy, one
>”Oh, I saw that and I wanted to open it, but I was afraid I would break it!”
>You begin to make your way back to the couch, little sister in tow
>”I mean, I tried finding the manual to figure out what it was, but I couldn't find it or anyone to help me find it... sis is always busy at college, mom’s always in bed, and dad’s always at work…!”
>You nod, taking your usual seat at the couch
>”And then I tried getting on the computer to look for a digital version of the manual, but then I remembered the computer has a password on it!”
>She scrambles onto the couch before crawling into your lap
>She takes the proffered controller, quite literally chucking the Wiimote to the side
>...Thankfully it lands on something soft
>”So, wait, if it can use gamecube controllers, does that mean it can play—”
>The gleam in her eyes makes you fear for your heart
“W-wait, so you didn’t know it's backwards compatible…?”
>>
>>31718257
>Ah
>So that explains it
>That's why she made such a big fuss about the GameCube breaking last week
>Speaking of which, she’s already scrambling for the game binder
>You laugh for the second time today
>Maybe your Sunday isn’t ruined after all?
>...
>......
>You swear, this is the happiest you’ve seen her in months
>From the way she always talks about how she just loves certain townsfolk to how she commentates about always catching sea bass…
>She just looks so eager
>So happy in the fact that she has someone to play with
>...
>...Wait, when’s the last time you actually spent time with her?
>I mean, sure, you always drive her home from school because nobody else can, but you’re usually doing that on your lunch break because nobody else can
>No, like the last time you actually spent time with he—
>”Oh, oh, look, a shark!”
>Right
>Back to Animal Crossing, Looney's undisputed favorite game
>She bounces up and down in your lap, absolutely giddy at the prospect of finally paying getting a second room for her little house
>”You, you catch it, I don’t trust myself!”
>She all but shoves the controller in your face, her little hands shaking at the thought of finally being able to do it
>”I’ve counted… fifty two times I’ve failed catching him!”
>...Wow
>Fucking casul
>Chuckling, you warm up your hands before taking the proffered controller
>Alright, time to show this little shit how it’s really done…
>*Plonk!*
>...
>*Dibble dibble*
>*Dibble dibble*
>Silence reigns king for several moments
>Little Moonie holds her breath in, physically leaning in and balling her fists in anticipation
>*THUNK!*
>The gasp you hear from Moonie would make one think that you just cured cancer
>All you did was press and hold A
>”Again, again!”
>She’s…
>She’s clapping, eyes wide and astounded
>Raising a brow, you shrug
“I mean, if you really want…”
>”Again!”
>Smile slowly growing, you give her a nod
>Heh
>>
>>31718266
>At least you can make someone smile
>With that in mind, you turn your attention back to the screen
>Why...
>Why is this the funnest you've had with vidya in so long?
>...
>......
>”Awww, c’mon!”
>Giving her hair a gentle tousle, you find chuckle away the small feeling of guilt as she gives you the eyes of a kicked puppy
“Sorry, Looney, someone’s gotta cook dinner—”
>”Pizza!”
>You blink
>That was fast….
“Looney, we had pizza yesterday.”
>”So?”
>You scoff, beginning your walk to the kitchen
“Pizza’s a once a week type’a food, if not once a month.”
>”Lies!”
>You can hear her above the gentle hum of the freezer as you parooze through the thing
>”Lies and slander!”
>Whistling a low tune, you gently pick out some peas… a bit of broccoli… and, last but not least, some chicken breast
>She’s still hard at work fishing, which you recently just taught her was much more profitable than shaking trees, but finds time to glance your way
>”Aw, awww!”
>You chuckle aloud, digging around for just the right pot
>”Pizza, pizza, pizza!”
>She begins to chant
>”Pizza!”
“Nope.”
>”Pizza!”
“Nah.”
>”Pizza!”
“Nein.”
>You’re more than a bit surprised to find out that she has an iron will when it comes to this sort of thing
>And by that you mean she continues chanting it up until the moment you have her ass seated at the table
>Like, holy shit, props for dedication and all, but god damn…
>”Hey, Anon?”
>You look up from the tray, laden with a plate and drink
>”Is mom going to eat with us today?”
>You glance down at the tray, already knowing the answer
>A sad smile is sent her way, along with a shake of the head
“Sorry, mom’s… not doing too well.”
>Her eyes slowly fall to her plate, her voice dropping
>”Oh… okay.”
>With a sigh, you pick up the tray of food and make way the stairs
>Hopefully mom will eat more than a quarter this time…
>...
>......
>This…
>This sucks
>>
>>31718273
>Sure, it’s good for you in every sense of the word, but you still hate it
“Why can’t pizza be healthy?”
>Anon looks up from his plate, raising a brow
>What?
>This is a serious question!
“No, seriously, think about it!”
>You tap your forehead just like he does whenever he says something smart
“If we made healthy stuff taste good, imagine how much more we’d eat the stuff!”
>He snorts before returning to his meal
>”It’s called acquiring a taste, Looney.”
“...”
>”...”
“Wait, so where do I get this taste?”
>You tilt your head slightly as he goes to rub his forehead
“Do you have it? Can I borrow it?!”
>He laughs, though you don’t know why
“Can I? Please? C’mon, I’ll actually eat all the green stuff if you—”
>”I’m home!”
>You both blink, looking to the direction of the front door
>Oh
>Dad’s home
>Well, not Dad, but new Dad
>That makes sense, right?
>Right
>The loud thuds of heavy boots give way to the familiar and husky musician that lazily makes his way around the corner
>He eyes you two warily, barely returning Anon’s wave
>”What’s for dinner?”
>”Veggies and grilled chicken breast.”
>He grumbles something you can’t quite catch before heading behind the counter
>He joins you two at the table a few minutes later, plate filled to the absolute brim
>”Hey, what’s up?”
>Your eyes dart to the neglected vegetables on your plate
>Anon, thankfully, speaks so you don’t have to
>”Eh, not much, just hung around the house, keeping Looney company… small stuff like that.”
>”Ah, cool, cool…”
>You’re not so sure why you’re suddenly quiet
>You’re also not so sure why Anon seems to have the same problem
>Hmmm
>Maybe you should eat these green things so you and Anon can go back to fishing?
>...That’s actually a lot more inspirational than you thought
>...
>......
>That…
>”Aw, c’mon, I’m not even tired!”
>That went better than expected
>”It’s like, eight thirty!”
>>
>>31718280
>Probably had something to do with the lingering scent of weed, though
“It’s nine forty, and you’ve still got to brush, floss, and settle down.”
>She doesn’t offer much resistance as you carry her up the stairs
>Little shit never did complain about a free ride…
>Eventually, with the little one quieting down in your arms, you make your way up to her room
>...Well, as much as it can be her room, what with it being shared between her and Morning Roast
>Though, what with Roast now living in her dorm, it’s more or less hers
>Reaching the entrance, you slowly open it and flicker on the light
>You set her down and give her a gentle rub on the head
“Alright, now get ready for bed, and I might just read you a good one.”
>Her eyes widen slightly at the proposition, all notions of annoyance forgotten
>”Ooo, ooo, how about The Giving Tree?”
>You snigger, idly tousling her hair again
“Sure, kid, now scram, I gotta’ get ready too.”
>With a smile, she runs off to her bathroom, the faint sounds of running water hitting your ears as you head to your room
>Hmmm
>Maybe you can finally get a full night’s sleep?”
>That thought is enough to make you slump and give a happy groan
>What you wouldn’t give…
>...
>......
>How…
>”C’mon, tuck me in already, tuck me in, tuck me in, tuck me in…”
>How did she get all the adorable genes while you and Roastie got shafted?
>Sighing, you relent to her high-pitched demands
>Soon only her head is poking out above the covers, content smile still showing
>Tousling her hair one last time, yourself now sitting at the edge of her bed, you gently open the book in your lap
“Once there was a tree.... and she loved a little boy.”
>You take time to try and put out your best narrator voice, each page followed by a slow showing of the page
“And everyday the boy would come and he would gather her leaves…”
>There comes a noise…
>>
>>31718287
>A very faint noise, but one that you try desperately to ignore
>An angered yell from just down the hallway
“And make them into crowns and play king of the forest.”
>You try and speak a bit louder to drown out the second voice that always comes shortly after
>Mom’s voice
>”He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples.”
>Just as you go to flip the page, however, you hear it
>The shattering of glass and a distant thump
“And they would play hide-and-go-seek.”
>More screaming
>This…
>This is worse than usual
>Gently, slowly, you close the book and lay it on the floor
>Placing a kiss on her forehead, you place a palm on her cheek, trying to calm her
“Hey, I’ll be right back, okay?”
>Her eyes dart about before finally settling on yours
>She’s nervous
>”O-okay…”
>Nodding, you suck in a deep breath
>Planting one last kiss on her forehead, you make to stand before heading for the door
>Looking back, you give her the most reassuring smile you can
>And then you shut off the lights and close the door
>...
>......
>Anon…
>Is Anon going to be okay?
>You stare at the sliver of light coming from the crack underneath the door, eyes straining without your glasses…
>The screaming continues, though there’s no more crashing sounds…
>It reaches an apex before another shout reaches your ears
>It’s Anon’s
>Then, a moment after, there’s silence
>Total, deafening silence
>The ringing in your ears is more terrifying than anything that came before it
>Wait, are you shivering?
>That’s bad
>You shouldn’t shiver, because Anon’s going to keep you safe
>He said so—
>There’s another crashing sound followed by the screaming nearly doubling in intensity
>Another crash, another string of thunderous curses and other things Anon tells you to never say
>You pull the covers under your head
>It usually isn’t this ba—
>You seize up at the sound
>It’s loud
>Almost deafeningly so
>>
>>31718295
>Kind of like someone smacked down a paper clip board right next to your ear as hard as they could
>There’s another scream after this, though it sounds different from the others
>More clear
>Less angry
>You seize up again as the another one of the terrible sounds goes off
>You whimper as the third comes in
>By the fifth you’re whimpering under the sheets, palms cupped to your ears
>This…
>This has to be thunder
>There’s nothing else that it could be
>Everything will be fine
>You just have to wait for Anon
>He’ll be back
>He’ll be back any moment now
>He’s never lied to you
>He’ll come back
>He’ll come back
>He’ll come back
>>
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>>31718305
https://pastebin.com/KhYJt01a Well, time to go crawl into a hole and die for a few days until my batteries recharge, have fun, you glorious bastards.
>>
>>31717915
>>31717929

>Anonymous and his sister Gloriosa are in charge of their summer camp, which has been in the family for quite sometime.
>Gloriosa is the nature loving, chipper camp director and nature guide.
>Anon is the creepy innawoods guy that's almost the polar opposite of her down to his tone of voice.
>"Look everyone, isn't the air so fresh? And the view, mother nature surely is the best."
"The air may be fresh, but mother nature ain't a saint, kids, she's a cold hearted bitch that doesn't even bat an eye at the monstrosities it birthed simply because that would imply she even cared. Show it any weakness and you'll be mulched. Humanity didn't thrive by loving nature, they did it by beating it into submission."
>"R-Right. We've got a lot planned for you kids this week but I won't spoil everything! we've got crafting, bird watching, ooh and we can even take a dip in the lake! it's gonna be the bees knees!"
"Whoopee, taking a bath in nature's toilet bowl... thankfully this is North America and not some godforsaken jungle down south because if you think tapeworms are bad, wait until some parasite crawls up your urethra and makes its home in your bladder - by the way, it should go without saying, but don't drink the water. We'll see how Bees knees this week is while you've got the runs."
>"Anon please! I'm trying to make them feel at ease, stop scaring them with these things!"
"Never feel at ease innawoods Gloriosa. That's mistake number 1. It's a fight for survival out there."
>>"Mr Anonymous, if you don't like the woods, then... uh... why are you working here?"
"To test myself against the elements, to go into the dark of the forest and see how long I can last. Man vs uncaring Nature. That's what summer camp should be all about."
>"For goodness sake Anon, stop trying to act gruff in front of the kids like you're Liam Neeson in The Grey, this place is as safe as someone's backyard!"
>>
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>>31718561
>The kids think they are married because they never say they are siblings.
>Despite the back and forth, they get along pretty well.
>Plenty of the girls see the contrast as cute.
>Anon is also the master of campfire stories when the kids all sit around the crackling fire in silence while he maintains his hunting rifle to drive them on edge before before breaking the silence himself.
"What I'm about to tell you happened to me when I was around your age, in these very woods. Tell me, have you ever heard of skin walkers...?"
>No one is seen alone the entire week after.
>Also, Anon and his sister Gloriosa fuck a lot.
>>
>>31718320
>Writes a brutal cliffhanger
>immediately takes a vacation

Congratulations, you're officially a writefag.
Please allow three to five weeks for your computer to suddenly malfunction in the middle of writing a chapter.
>>
>>31717287
I really enjoy this story. It's one of my favorites.
>>
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>>31718232
>>31718305
You've got some serious balls trying to write two stories at the same time. It makes me feel in adequate about my own skills.
Shit's really good too.
>>
>>31718676
?
>>31712959
>>
>>31718227
Fuck is this Trixie adorable.
>>
>>31718305
>>31718320
This story makes me sad.
>>
>>31718568
kek
>>
>>31718568
>"Anon, it's a beautiful day! Let's go for a hike and just enjoy nature at it's finest!"
"No can do, Glori, I can't go for a hike when I've got a list of jobs to do around here a mile long! Maybe another time."
>Gloriosa gives you a look that screams "Unacceptable" then sighs
>"I understand, you've got a lot of work to do around here, and taking a hike alone with a beautiful girl like me just wouldn't be fun."
>...You know what she's doing
>"You know, I was just thinking about that waterfall we found last summer, remember when we found it?"
>Remember? How could you forget?
>"Remember how hot it was up there? How quiet and out of the way it was? How great the cool water felt when we took a dip, how much fun it was..."
>...Fuck.
>You can hear Daisy walk up behind you and whisper in your ear
>"...The feeling of your naked body against mine..."
>FUCK.
>"Would be nice if you came along, but I understand. you've got a lot of things to do. Don't worry, I've got this."
>Hook. Line. Sinker.
"...I think I can put this off until tomorrow."

guess who I don't have any pictures of.
>>
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>>31718232
>>”Trixie likes it when she survives!”
>>
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>bunch of new stories
>finally more Dazzling nieces after a week
It's like Christmas fucking morning again. Have an appul.
>>
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>>31718305
Please tell me it's gonna be okay. Please!
>>
>>31717287
>Confidentiality of Information, or, in layman's terms, everything pertaining to exactly what your sister did to your nieces.
>"Swing by today - I've got a light load on my plate right now. We'll get it sorted out."
"...Thanks, Hyun," you breathe, releasing chest muscles you didn't know were taut.
>"No problem."
>The click in your ears times perfectly with Sonata stepping into the doorway of your bedroom.
>"Uncle Anon?"
"Hmm?"
>"We're, uh... not full after breakfast," she sheepishly says.
>Jesus Christ, teenagers are ravenous.
"I'll get us something to top us off when we head out today. For now, you three take turns in the shower and get dressed. We've got places to be today," you reply with a ruffle of her bedhead.
---
>After some frustration with Adagio insisting that her poof of a hairdo needed time to fluff properly, and a quick raid of the corner store for cheap donuts, you let out a sigh as you and your charges walk into city hall.
>You notice Aria sticking close to her sisters with a panicked pace to her step as they take seats while you fill out the necessary papers for the consultation.
>"So, why are we here?" Sonata inquires as you sit down.
"Well, first I need to get some last little strings about you girls staying with me tied up, and then we're going to the mall," you reply.
>All three of them perk their heads up in confusion at the last part of your sentence.
>"Anon?"
>You look up to see Hyun standing in the back office doorway, waving you over.
"This shouldn't take too long, girls. Sit tight for a bit," you say as you move to get up.
>You're stopped short by Sonata wrapping her arms around you again.
>You squeeze her back and follow Hyun into her office.
>"You two look cute together," she quipped.
>You sputter at her comments as you both seat yourself on each of the loveseats in her office.
>She always did have peculiar tastes in furniture.
>>
>>31718916
>"I'll need your signature here, here, here, here, here, aaaand... here," she nonchalantly spoke, pointing to various dotted lines within the stack of paperwork she had prepared.
"Good Lord, it's a neverending tempest of files with you people, is it?"
>"Yep."
>The moment you're done signing, Hyun slaps a stuffed manila folder down in front of you.
>"Anon."
>There's that sharpened voice again.
>"I've talked to you as a friend up until this point, but I need to say this as a professional - you're not going to like what's in this folder."
"I figured that much-"
>"Stop trying to play this down!" she snaps at you. "Humor might be a good way to get some stress off your head, but I NEED you to take this in complete seriousness."
>You gulp at the pitch-black pupils boring through you and nod.
>"You're going to be angry, and disgusted, and want to make some rash decisions," she continued, one of your hands firmly grasped between hers. "But you need to keep calm. I'll be here to help you think through this."
>You want to say she's being dramatic or paranoid, but you know the look in her eyes.
>She's never this on edge unless something is beyond wrong.
>You gently free your hands from her and turn the front cover of the folder over.
"This is gonna take some time to read over-"
>Your voice dies in your throat as you read the heading of the first document.
>"I wanted to get this out of the way first," Hyun whispers.
>Date: 11/7/2016.
>Subject: Sexual Assault Investigation.
>The bile is heavy in your throat as you silently sift through the contents with a shaking hand.
>Pictures, forensics, testimonies...
>"I need you to keep calm," Hyun said, taking your other hand back in hers.
>A few minutes later, you look back up to her, ready to vomit.
"...No wonder she flinched this morning," you manage to choke out.
>Hyun's pained expression matches yours as you fight back the heat in your eyes.
>>
>>31718924
>"Let's keep going. Don't let yourself get entangled in one part of this," she replied.
>The two of you spend the next ten minutes reviewing the rest of the folder, mostly consisting of psychological analysis of the culprit.
>By the time you're finished, you borrow Hyun's office trashcan and retch your breakfast.
>"We've gathered all we can from other sources," Hyun speaks up, handing you another folder. "It's not much, scraps of neighbor testimonies and camera footage, but we couldn't risk directly making a house call out of fear she'd do something drastic to them."
>Her.
>HER.
>You take a few moments to breathe the stale interior air, working your hands against the hem of your shirt fabric.
"...So what do I do now?"
">Aria needs to know you can be trusted to take care of her," Hyun replied. "She's anchored herself to the only two people she feels she can trust, and you're going to need one or both of them to back you to get to her."
>You flip open the other folder to find more statistics.
>Weight, physical descriptions, personality, basic interviews...
>You shudder at Adagio's painfully frail frame in the photos.
>She'd somehow been even more malnourished than before you took her in.
>"As for Adagio, you've got a textbook sentinel on your hands."
"A what?"
>"Oh right, you're not familiar with our, uh, lingo," she replies.
"Just give it to me straight," you mutter, one hand cupping your burning forehead.
>"She sees herself as a guardian to the other two, and you're threatening both her sisters by being a potential enemy, and her by taking her self-appointed position from her," Hyun says.
>You lean back into the cushions, rubbing your temples.
"So how the hell am I supposed to "fix" that?"
>"You don't."
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-"
>"Keep your damn voice down!" Hyun hisses. "Do you really want to scare the girls in here?"
"...Sorry. I'm just at the end of my rope here."
>>
>>31718927
"...Sorry. I'm just at the end of my rope here."
>A few stretched seconds of silence pass before Hyun slowly gets up from her seat.
>"Anon, if I didn't think you were capable of helping these girls have the best shot at a normal life they can, I wouldn't have pulled as many strings as I did," she began, placing a hand on your shoulder. "What they need is a rock, someone outside that the know they can depend on, something they've never had before. You just need to be there, and to listen. They'll open up to you if you can just do that."
>It's not every day - hell, every week - that you see Hyun genuine give anyone a wide smile.
>With a pull to your feet and a strong hug, the two of you gather up the documents and head back out to the girls.

Will have more either this thread or next
>>
>>31718929
Looking forward to it. I always figured Aria acted the way she did in order to make herself seem strong and not so much as a henchman for Adagio.
>>
>>31718916
AWW YISS
>>
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>>31718929
He needs to get through to Adagio first. This means lots of headpats. Bitches love headpats.
>>
>>31718929
You tear at my heartstrings, man. You tear at them with the vigor of a wounded hawk. I'll be here waiting when you've got the next batch.
>>
>>31718929
It can't come quickly enough. Lovely stuff.
>>
>>31718220
Fucking lightweight
>>
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>>31718561
So Anon and Gloriosa are like Hec and Bella from Hunt for the Wilderpeople?
>>
>>31718215
Auntie Luna is such a cock-tease.
>>
>Be Sunset Shimmer
>Your little brother Anon is infatuated with your friend Rarity
>That's totally fine
>It's normal for a guy like him to be attracted to a girl like her
>It would be weird for him to be attracted to, say, his sister for example
>Even if his sister would okay with that
>More than okay
>Ecstatic, even
>But that's just a hypothetical situation
>He keeps trying to talk to you about Rarity, but you usually avoid it
>This time, you decide to try and help him
>You can't just keep cockblocking him because of your own (purely hypothetical) feelings
>You tell Rarity that your cute and handsome brother is interested in her
>"I suppose we can go on a few dates and see where things go from there~"
>Fuck
>You try to tell her how great that is and how totally okay with that you are, but your voice cracks a few times and she picks up that something is wrong
>You resist her attempts to ask what is wrong at first, but you eventually cave and admit your shameful, hypothetical, incestuous love
>She is pretty shocked, but quickly regains her composure and tells you that she understands
>She won't get in the way
>But Anon is in like with Rarity
>He wants her
>Rarity thinks for a moment, and smirks
>If Anon wants her as his girlfriend, then he has to accept being in a polyamorous relationship with you as well
>A sort of incestuous love triangle where you are all in a relationship with each other
>If Anon's feelings for you grow, then you can both dump Rarity and be a happy couple together
>You agree to the plan immediately
>You've been attracted to your brother for a while, and this feels like your best shot
>The only contentious part of this plan is Rarity's insistence that the relationship be totally public
>People will see you and your brother (and Rarity) together, and they'll know that you're in a (possibly sexual) relationship
>That's a price you're willing to pay
>You tell Anon that Rarity wants to meet him, and then wait with her to deliver the ultimatum
>>
>>31718197
>“We have been pretty busy, now that you think about it.”
Is this supposed to be a thought or spoken out loud?
>>31718215
>”I mean, I’ve asked Damascus, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t swing that way and just said it to make be feel good, so I’d like a second opinion…”
make me*
>Finishing it is whatever she’s cooking, Luna saunters her way over to the table
whatever* it* is*
>Crossing your legs in an attempt to hide little Anon, you lean back slightly in your seat
Wait, I thought you were making the main pov Trixie, when the hell did we switch, what is going on here?
>>31718232
>She takes a moment to get on, but she she does
remove an extra she*
>Sunflower just wears her usual face of mellow happiness
who the hell is this?
>>31718252
Dude, you are all over the god damn place, are you posting while drunk? That's not a good idea, people tried before and it only turns out like an insane person trying to write.
>>31718257
>Giviner her head a quick pat, you stand up, quickly making way for the little box besides the TV where all the game supplies are held
giving* her
>>31718305
So aside from the random as hell shit ending, are you actually updating different stories at the same time or something? Because you need to make that clear before doing this.
>>31718320
The hell are you talking about? This is some crack heads attempt to write in between blackouts and the OD, what the hell are you trying here?
>>
>>31719486
>Dude, you are all over the god damn place, are you posting while drunk? That's not a good idea, people tried before and it only turns out like an insane person trying to write

Jeff managed to pull it off when writing the Ponk story but, you're right in this case.
>>
>>31718927
>"Aria needs to know you can be trusted to take care of her," Hyun replied. "She's anchored herself to the only two people she feels she can trust, and you're going to need one or both of them to back you to get to her."
Goofed the greenline.
>>
>>31718929
>"...Sorry. I'm just at the end of my rope here."
Repeated the same line.
>>
>>31719416
Rarity is the lewd cupid. Bless her fashion heart.
>>
>>31719501
jeff was insane already, the difference is that he could post while drunk and make sense.
>>
>>31718916
>a quick raid of the corner store for cheap donuts
Go to fucking Tim Hortons, jesus christ. You can get 12 of'em for 7 bucks.
>>
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>>31719416
Perfect Rarity. Best wingman.
>>
>>31719486
Keeping a single perspective can help avoid these sudden shifts, but I can see the reason behind multiple perspectives.
>>
>>31719961
Its not even just that, the entire "update" is a hot mess of unrelated situations with small "arcs" if you can say that before crashing into a completely different situation. The horrible perspective shifts with no context or difference between characters is the just the tip of the iceberg. Its the gibbering nonsense of a 11 year old trying to write.
>>
Wasn't there a r63 Flash sentry green? And one with Trixie's dad?
>>
>>31720053
63 Ashly is probably dead, Trixie's dad updated a little while ago, read the thread to find it.
>>
>>31719974
Maybe I'm autistic, but I didn't have much trouble figuring out who was who.
>>
>>31720101
Me too
>>
>>31720053
>Ashley "Flash" Sentry will never get drunk at a celebration party after her band wins some kind of competition
>She will never stumble through the crowd until she finds her brother, Anon
>She will never grab him by the front of his shirt, fumbling for purchase, and then give him a passionate (if sloppy) kiss in front of everyone
>She will never be confident enough in herself and her popularity that she will never try to hide the relationship she has with her brother
>"Yeah, I'm fucking Anon. What of it?"
I crie every time.
>>
>>31720101
Figuring out who is talking is passable, but the random scene shifts with barely any continuity is not. But on the topic of that you may just have autism.
>>31720109
you too then.
>>
>>31720114
You are overthinking things. I was reading it with horribly lowering iq temperature my flu gave me., and still has no problems.
>>
>>31720077
I have ideas for 2-4 more updates but got busy with work...it wasn't very good so my motivation dropped a bit. That said I don't like leaving things unfinished so I might complete it for the sake of it.
>>
>>31720128
Maybe it's like how in the original Fallout games, if your character has an INT stat of 3 or less, you're able to have a civilized conversation with that one NPC who's retarded. You also kill that NPC by pretending to shoot him with your fingers. He's so dumb that he believes you killed him, and so he dies.
>>
>>31720131
Excellent.
>>31720128
Or you are underthinking things, because that update was nonsense.
>>31720138
.....how, did he hold his breath till he died?
>>
>>31720140
It's like the Matrix, Anon. The mind makes it real. He also lived in a radioactive wasteland, so that might have had something to do with it. Perhaps it was an enormous coincidence that he died of radiation poisoning at the exact moment he pretended to be reeling from being shot by a pretend gun.
>>
>>31720140
You being grumpy isn't much better. I had fun and feels reading it, and this is all that matters.
>>
>>31720146
I suppose. But what are the chances of that instead of aliens taking a pot shot for shits and giggles?
>>31720151
You mean the end part? I guess, but when its a non sequitur at the end of a rambling amount of posts that did nothing for any story, it was meh as far as I'm concerned.
>>
>>31720165
> enjoying anything but one-shots
I feel sorry for you
>>
>>31720177
Masochist at heart for this board, but everyone goes through it at some point.
>>
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>>31708296
>"It's bad enough those cunts ruined my silver screen debut, now I got to babysit my bratty cousin I haven't seen in five years."
>>
>>31720332
Would fuck on top of the bitches that ruined her chance, chairs. Maybe if we leave a strong enough stench we could ruin the movie.
>>
>>31720332
WeW
>>
>>31720332
>Cousin
Be funnier if Anon were her older brother and theatre manager
>"Hey, Tarantino, the floors in 7 need a once or twice over. That slasher flick made some kids toss their cookies."
>'I hate you!'
>"Love you too, also there's a clog in the womens bathroom, I know you can do it, later."
>>
>>31720332
>Antifa.gif.
>>
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>>31720409
>>
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>>31720332
>Anon is now 16 he can take care of himself but his mother is over protective and has to go to a different country to film a role.
>His bitchy cousin Juniper he hasn't seen in five years is going to look after him.
>This is bullshit.
>The doorbell rings.
>Mom opens the door.
>He sees her.
[Oh n-]
>Be Juniper
>[-o,he's hot]
>>
>>31720454
There is a reason they look good, the famous models inbreed to insure pretty babies. The two don't know this though, so they fuck like rabbits and try to make each other movie stars too.
>>
>>31720110
>The party goers collectively rolls their eyes and sighs
>"Well, looks like Smashley strikes again!"
>The crowd laughs as she has Anon pinned to the floor, mini-skirt hiked up and vag-lips forming a tight seal around his mouth
>>
>>31720409
?
>>
>>31720497
>Strikes again
>Grinds the juices of her previous conquests in your face
Pass.
>>
>>31720472
>Turns out Anon has an enormous cock, and Juniper won the genetic lottery, giving her a perfect figure
>They film porn together and exclusively fuck only each other
>Nobody knows they're brother and sister (until the overseas market they're selling to expands and hits local shores)
>"Oh, man, this is super hot. Wait, isn't that Anon? Yeah, that's Anon! Holy shit, what's he-IS THAT JUNIPER?! What the fuck!"
>>
>>31720559
>When this comes out they just say fuck it, last video they do for a year is them having the most hardcore baby making sex seen on screen in some time.
>>
>>31720332
I want a green of this.
>>
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>>31720575
>>
>>31720575
>Anon and Juniper show it to their kids
"And that's how you were conceived!"
>>
>>31720794
>implying they weren't looking up hot shit to reenact for their own incestuous lifestyle
>Implying the kids don't find their parents making the hottest porn they have ever scene
>Implying they wont do it in front of them because the two retards took it as an acting challenge
>Implying you will never watch, proud of what you created.
>>
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>>31718929
What the fuck did that bitch do to her daughters? I'd throttle her with a garrote wire if she were my sister
>>
>>31720946
Lewded them, like you love so much.
>>
>>31720946
If I know my dramatic fanfiction, and I do, at some point Anon's skank sister will probably show up.
And at that time, Anon will probably do something "responsible" or whatever instead of inviting her out to "lunch," driving her into the woods, and beating her to death over the course of a few hours like a normal person would do.
But, this is fiction we're dealing with, so it can't be "edgy," I guess.
>>
>>31721016
But then Anon would go to jail and his nieces would be on their own. Sonata would be heartbroken and she'd never trust again.
>>
>>31721052
Based on what we've seen, the authorities in Anon's city aren't exactly on the ball. I think he could get away with it.
Crack whores wind up dead all the time. Nobody's going to care too much.
>>
>>31721080
Yeah, but this is fiction. There's a direction that things take that just doesn't exist in real life. Remember in Candy Hearts when Anon went to that party and people theorized that not only would the cops bust that party, but that Spearhead would be the cop who busted it? In real life, Anon's presence at a party would not have affected the chances of it being busted, and there probably would have been a very low chance of Spearhead (of ALL the police officers on duty) showing up to bust it, but it is inevitable in works of fiction. In fiction, everything happens for a reason, and every action has a significant affect on the plot, thus advancing it; otherwise, why would it happen and why would it be written?

In real life, there might be a chance that Anon would get away with it scott-free (I say this as a man who has no idea how the whole, whore-killing and body-hiding thing works). Nobody cares about some crack whore dying; Anon just happens to hide the body especially well; there isn't enough evidence to pin it on him; etc. But in fiction, there are going to be consequences that affect the story because otherwise there's no point of including it.
>>
>>31708979
bump for more
>>
>>31721016
>Implying Adi’s not going to bash her goddamn brains out first
>>
>>31721052
you can't go to jail for murder if they never find the body
>>
>>31718252
oh jeez that's way way too cute.
>>
>>31718266
too cute a sister
>>
>>31718280
it's bread, tomatoes, and cheese. what more do you want? god i hate modern attitudes
>>
>>31718305
If it's a story about Moondancer, why is Anon calling her Looney?
>>
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>>31721676
Just thought it would be a funny nickname for Anon to have for Moon Dancer, as I've already seen 'Moonie' done a few times and wanted to give a new spin on it.
>>
>I'll never use my fingers and tongue to explore my cop sister's nether regions while she watches a playoff game on TV
>>
>>31721676
Moon == Luna - > Looney?
>>
>>31721724
>when your woman does not pay attention to you during sex

Boi
>>
>>31718561
>I live in a shack. I poop in an outhouse. LET the grid go down
>>
>>31719899
That is not a good price
>>
>>31721724
>not cuddling together with a beer after work and vigorously fucking during halftime after two quarters of slowly getting more intimate with your touching
>>
>>31721724
>"Fine, make it quick. Make sure you finish inside too, I don't want stains on my uniform."
>>
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>>31721842
>You're acting like boner isn't a best compliment for a woman's beauty
>>
>>31721842
the high testosterone of unfulfilled sexual desires help with muscle growth
you should watch porn before working out but don't masturbate to it, only let your hormones crank up
>>
I love that Op.How can a half-sister be that cute?
How is everyone?
>>
>>31721982
Its 2.35 p.m. and im still here.

t. slav
>>
>>31721955
God, I knew that the people from /fit/ are evil, but this bad...
Dont listen to that doubles, Anon.
>>
>>31721982
Good just waiting for green
>>
>>31721982
Got my car out of the snow, so in a good mood today.
>>
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>>31721982
Just finished cleaning my Garand, going to wash my hands and then take care of this freedom erection.
>>
>>31720911
There is not NEARLY enough whole-family green in here. I want an anon whose mom comes home some day with a self-help book that says family intimacy is the most important thing of all and lays out the changes that will occur with the household
>>
>>31721982
Get back to the wordmines, faggot
I-I'm good, hope you are too, glorious bastard.
>>
>>31722101
>>31721995
>>31722016
Today is super day. You know how it goes fellas. We'll get to the green after with no lewd scenes, but implied sexual activity
>>
>>31722161
But, but the lewd.
>>
>>31720053
Trixie Dad is still ongoing, I just can't find the necessary amount of focus to churn out a decent update.
>>
>>31722205
Take your time, dude!
>>
>>31722248
exactly like when it comes to updating his pastebin, he can do that anytime he wants
aaaaaaanytime now
>>
>>31721942
>"Baby, you trigger almost every single flag in my lizard brain that tells me you are the ideal mate to carry my children. Millions of years of evolution are telling me that I should ask you out to get some coffee. Oh yeah."
>>
>>31721982
Eatin' pizza. So pretty good, I guess. You?
>>
>>31722503
Been watching a strange influx of Hentai where a girl is getting DPed, or banged to the point she starts peeing at the end and wondering if dudes actually like that. Like if some shitty, ego-driven pain in the ass end rushing asshole writefag were to write about a spoiled half-sister shitty brat being banged hard and then peeing how would that look?
>>
>>31722742
only scat fags like that shit, please no
>>
>>31722742
>watersports
Not my thing, but I don't shame motherfuckers for what gets them off, except a few that are complete shit, but they have /trash/ so that's that. I'm sure some of them would think we're a bunch of freak fucks so it all balances out.
>>
>>31722742
See >>31722762
>>
>>31722742
Pissfetish is trash, fucking her ragged however is a true patrician fetish.
>>
>>31722742
If it were me, she'd be pissing in the middle, not at the end, so that she and Anon would stay nice and wet the whole time. And, you know, make a big event out of it.
>>
>>31722818
Get out
>>
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>Not going to the bathroom before you fuck
>>
>>31722762
>>31722765
>>31722770
>>31722791
>>31722818
>>31722902
>>31722839
oh you guys
>>
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I fucking called it! Vegeta's new form is pretty much super saiyan blue 2! Fucking hell, the only way it could be any better is if they call it super saiyan blue sparkling! Vegeta turned into a fucking twilight vampire! Next episode makes it sound like Gohan is going down too, so that'll be interesting to see Gohanfags lose their shit.
>>
>>31723048
I haven't bothered to look at super. Its just Saiyen fun time, to GT's Goku time. With the exception being Gohan is shit on the entire series after Cell.
>>
>>31721982
update your pastebin
>>
I know we've had prompts about anon nursing a sibling who got rekt in war, but why not some green of a wounded anon being nursed by his relative?
Since I'm bandaged up myself right now after surgery it got me thinking about it.

Which pone do you think would make the best impromptu nurse?
>>
>>31723088
Best impromptu nurse? Ooh.... that's a tricky one. I'll bet Gilda's gotten into some scraps before, so she'd be good at patching Anon up and keeping him alive (depending on how he got injured)
>>
>>31722742
I'm into the peeing part, not the rest.
Honestly the number of girls I know who have never had an orgasm because they're terrified they're going to pee is fucking nuts. This is what comes of people being this over the top bothered by clean natural functions. I want to be like JUST DO IT. I will mop it up. Your orgasms are worth a lot more than whatever piddlin' problems a little urine would cause me.
>>
>>31708979
Bumping for more.
>>
>>31723088
Nurse Redheart is the obvious choice

>Anon gets into a huge fight with his mother Redheart
>Decides to cool his head by taking a drive
>Gets into a huge wreck
>Wakes up two weeks later
>His left leg has been amputated below the knee
>He tries to sit up, only to find a weight holding him down
>His mother is asleep across his lap, holding his hand in a deathgrip
>She hasn't left his side since he was admitted
>She blames herself for Anon's injury, and is in full self-hatred semi-suicidal mode over his leg
>Redheart oversees her son's physical therapy, while he tries to heal her broken heart
>>
>>31722081
Let's see those magic fingers anon! Pump us out a good story will ya?
>>
>>31723204
mmph.. honestly right now I kind of need to be either drawing or playing videogames to satisfy my creative urges. besides it would just end up being a ripoff of some asstr shit I've read
>>
Is anyone else following this?
It's amazing.
>>166961204
>>
>>31723964
Well maybe if I knew what that was.
>>
>>31723048
It’s probably a bait and switch, so I wouldn’t count on gohan going, but you never know. Also you and nearly all the fandom arrived at the same conclusion about vegeta. Keep up anon
>>
>>31722902
It's more important to take a piss afterwards than before (especially for the girl), gotta avoid those UTI's
>>
>>31723184
That also sounds like a good plot for a non-incest comfy, feelsy green
>>
>>31723184
>be me
>suggest basically this exact prompt
>just reversed roles
>and rainbow dash
>everyone gets triggered
>get ran out of thread causing multiple shitstorms
Guess its ok now
>>
>>31724548
The fags and casuals are all asleep now. All that remain are the Euros and the people too dead inside to sleep when they should.
>>
>>31724548
>RainbowTrash again
The reason is pretty clear
>>
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>>31724789
Fuck off, Dashie a cute
>>
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Slow day, huh? We all need breaks. Have an appul.
>>
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>>31723088
She instantly popped up in me mind, couldn't think of anyone better besides maybe Colgate for just how chipper she would be and always trying to get you to laugh.
>Ywn fall asleep to her playing guitar on your bedside
>>
>>31724548
You don't hurt waifus dumbass, it wasn't okay until someone fixed it. Quit bitching.
>>
>>31708296
I just finished Rainbow dash big sis green by OniichanFables and it was fucking great. Any chance for comtinuation?
>>
>>31723184
Bless you, fag. I love it
>>
>>31723964
Wow, post 166 million? Last I checked, Onii, we were at somewhere around 31 million posts. Tell you what, slugger, I'll make sure to check back in a couple of years when we hit that milestone, okay? I'm sure the post you're referring to will be spectacular.
>>
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>>31723184
>"Every night, I can feel my leg… even my fingers. The body I’ve lost… won’t stop hurting… It’s like it still there...”
>Jeez, Anon! We know about your loss, but, you repeated this quote already, like, gazzilion times! Can you stop, please?!
>WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.mp3 playing at distance
>>
I'm new to this thread and I'm sad as fk, during to the latest leak.
Can anyone suggest some decent Appul greens?
I want to remember her as my favourite country girl, not as a fucking retarded nigger
>>
>>31725135
>"And stop singing that stupid song every time you climb a ladder!"
>>
>>31725173
If you go to the pastebin and find BadlyWritten his cousin AJ green is pretty great
>>
>>31725186
Ty mate
>>
>Mama Redheart gets sick
>She uses her son Anon's ignorance of proper medical procedures to get sex out of him
>"No, really, Anon. If we have sex, I'll sweat, and then that sweat will evaporate and lower my body temperature."
>"I swear to god, Anon, this is how they did it back before thermometers existed. You've just got to shove your dick as far up my ass as possible, and the sensitive head of your penis will be able to tell how high my temperature is."
>"Would I lie to you, Nonny? By kissing me for a prolonged period of time, we are exchanging fluids. And your fluids have foreign antibodies in them, and my body can use them as a boost to get rid of this infection quicker. I told you this when you weren't sure about cumming inside of me."
>Anon feels proud of himself for helping his mom get better
>>
>>31725544
"So what's your temp mom?"
>Redheart moves her ass side to side to get a feel of your head.
>"105"
>>
>>31725544
> we are exchanging fluids
Aaaaand he's ill too.
>>
>>31725626
>"Oh, no! Nonny, I know just what to do! First, we have to have sex so that you sweat and lower your body temperature. Next, we need to kiss so that you get MY antibodies. And then..."
>>
>You will never find out why your mom, Redheart, was called "Red Hot" back in medical school
>>
>>31724548
Paralyzed from the waist down is not the same thing as lost leg.
Very not the same.
>>
>>31726165
Its just that creep dude, he is incapable of understanding his shit taste. Even if the cops knock on his door.
>>
>>31726165
Real question. How is it not? Like, can you back that up at all? Because losing control of legs seems pretty fucking similar to losing your legs to me.
>>
>>31726189
>Even if the cops knock on his door
What does that even mean
>>
>>31726074
I'd rather not have a bunch of male nurses smile everytime they see me.
>"Heeey, you're Red Hot's kid, huh?"
>The two exchange glances at you then at each other
>"..You're full of shit, Jerry, he looks nothing like me. He could be the custodians kid for all we know."
>"Red Hot sure made her rounds throughout the staff here.."
>>
>>31726411
>male nurses
>implying it isn't the female nurses who give her knowing looks, like Coldheart and Sweetheart
>>
>>31726411
>Slutty Mom
Ew
>>
>>31726411
>>31726423
I was about to make the comment that it doesn't matter if it was male or female nurse, it still meant your mother was a slut and >>31726426 beat me to it. Well at least the slut bit of it.
>>
>>31726394
Anon lost A leg, not both. You can recover from loosing one.
>>
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>>31726074
Not him, but someone who has one leg can take a shit by themselves and can go about living their lives in society once they get good enough walking around with a cruch, or pull some Katawa Shoujo shit and get a prosthetic limb. A person paralyzed from the waist down needs help getting off the wheelchair and onto the shitter unless they have some sort of bars or shit to grab onto before hoisting themselves onto the thing. Beyond the obvious shit, I'd imagine someone with just one leg gone would also be leagues better, emotionally speaking, than someone who has little to no chance of living a normal life again.
>>
>>31726394
If you have one leg, you are walking with a little crutch over ladders, walking lanes border bricks and other shit. Also if it's only behind the knee, he gets a prosthetic limb and continues usual activities like driving a car, mild sports and being a normie. Paralysis means you shit in a diaper and roll in a chair.
>>
>>31726444
Shit, I'm retarded, meant to reply to >>31726394
>>
>>31726394
You lose your leg, you can get an artificial leg (various kinds, in fact). You can still stand up and walk etc. etc. etc.
Being paralyzed means you can't do any of those things, and also very probably
>can't piss properly. Probably need to wear an external bag that must be emptied periodically.
>can't shit properly. Possibly require various forms of assistance. If you can actually keep yourself from shitting on yourself OR can actually shit on purpose, consider yourself lucky
>can't move and flex the trunk muscles
And so on, and so on, and so on.

And that's why paralyzed Rainbow Dash is very nonsexy.
Could it be a uh, "touching, heartfelt drama"? Maybe. But it'd have to be really, really good to make up for everything else, nobody wants to risk a failure of that magnitude.
>>
>>31726423
>Mom Redheart only used to mess around with other female nurses.
>The one other time she fucked a guy was your father which her reason was "I thought the young guy was cute." Turns out it wasn't her safe day.
Truth be told if my nurse mom was a slut I rather have her be a slut to other girls.
>>
>>31726074
Post-maker, here. I meant it's because she's very attractive, not that she had sex with everyone in sight.
>>
>>31726579
Oh.
I figured it was because she was a slut.
Or a stripper.
>>
>>31726582
It's my fault for wording it that way. People in med school saw how fuckin' hot she was and made a pun out of her name.
>>
>>31726589
Mommy Redheart is pure...aside for the lewd thoughts about her son.
>>
>>31726894
...so pure then.
>>
>>31714328
This is still up
>good porn is gone
>>
>>31726894
>"No... No, Redheart, resist."
>"Resist the call of your son's dick."
>"I don't care how big Anon's cock was when you performed that annual physical on him."
>"I don't care if you performed three more physicals just to make extra-sure it was as big as you thought it was."
>"I CERTAINLY don't care that his sperm output was too voluminous for the little cup to hold."
>"...or that the sample tasted delicious."
>"....or that you cleaned him off with your mouth."
>"You can't just have sex with An--aw, fuck it."
>"Anon! Anon, meet me in my room, okay? It's time for your annual physical! ...yes, the fifth one! Just trust me, it's necessary!"
>>
I'm picturing Mama Redheart muttering "professional interest" under her breath over and over as she rides her son.
>>
>>31727034
She just wants her son to be healthy.
>>
>>31727051
That's bullshit, but I believe it.
>>
>>31724925
Sunny is top waifu. Best sister. Most baby-crazy.
>>
>>31712056
>"Ah'm Applebloom! That's Scootaloo-"
>Applebloom points to a short haired girl you were sure was a boy at first glance.
>"And that's Sweetie Belle! Welcome to the group!"
>Sweetie Belle finally makes it to her feet, rubbing her neck.
"Pleased to meet you all."
>"Can y'all fill Anon in on what we're doing? Ah need to talk to Babs fer a sec."
>Sweetie, and Scootaloo nod, as Applebloom pulls a confused Babs to the side, where they begin talking in hushed tones.
>You watch them for a while, until Sweetie touches your shoulder.
>"So Anon, where are you from?"
"Uh..nowhere special. My father thought I should transfer here after my mom passed away."
>"Your mom's gone...?"
>Sweetie puts her hands to her moth as if she asked something horrible.
"Yeah...so what type of prohject are you guys doing?"
>Scootaloo smirks seizing the opportunity to insert herself into the conversation.
>"We're going to do a volcano! It's sure to win us first place this year for sure!"
"It's a contest?"
>They both nod.
>"It is! First place gets a blue ribbon, and will be in the town newspaper!"
>You put a finger to your chin thinking.
>As quickly as both girls showed excitement at the prospect of winning, do they slump in defeat.
>Scootaloo rubs the back of her head.
>"It's just...well we've yet to even get in the top three.."
>Maybe because they're doing a typical volcano, but this is actually a blessing in disguise. Imagine if you won. That'd be the perfect stepping stone.
>Babs and Applebloom are waving their arms around as they continue to talk. Looks like it's getting intense over there.
>"But, we're sure to win it this time! This will be the best volcano ever!"
>Sweetie fists pumps in agreement.
>"Yeah!"
>You cross your arms thinking.
"Maybe, maybe not."
>Both girls look at you with questioning frowns.
>"What do you mean?"
"Well, a Volcano? Excuse my saying so, but that's so played out, and typical. If you want to win, you'll have to do something amazing."
>>
>>31727862
>Sweetie puts her hands to her moth as if she asked something horrible.
mouth
>>
>>31727862
Anon, Anon buddy, listen to a fellow non, DO NOT DO THIS, you have no idea the apocalypse you will wrought on the poor town.
>>
>>31727866
>implying that she doesn't have a pet moth that she strokes when she feels bad
>>
>>31727919
>Implying Rarity would let one of the fashion plague insects live in her house
Sweetie might be fine, but Rarity would kill it with fire.
>>
>>31727934
No, that's why she would have it.
>>
>>31727979
>Sweetie getting pets that she knows will mortify and anger her sister beyond words
>It starts off small with a moth as an experiment
>Soon it goes into having a pair of mice
>Two get into constant fights as Sweetie plays around with the things all about the house
>Rarity gets a cat in retaliation
>Sweetie gets little hamster balls for them to run around the house
>Opalescence quickly loses interests and goes back to pissing on whatever dresses and designs Rarity leaves unattended
>Rarity eventually grows indifferent to the little bastards
>Sweetie then gets a baby snek
>She begins to wear it around her neck, always making sure to sneak up on her sister with it on
>>
>>31727934
How else do you think she gets to make excuses to make Sweetie Belle new, fashionable clothing?

>"Oh, no! Another swarm of moths went through your entire wardrobe, Sweetie! Again! I guess now I get to--er, HAVE TO do the thing in life that makes me happiest and test out all those new techniques and fashion ideas I learned since the LAST time moths at your clothes. I hope you like frills and studded gems!"
>>
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>>31727862
>They look at each other.
>"Amazing? Like what?"
>You look around the room, and see that everyone is drawing up plans to make...Volcanoes.Is this real life?
"...Anything, but a volcano."
>They frown harder at your answer.
>"You have to have some sort of idea to reject our awesome Volcano plan!"
>Sweetie shakes your shoulder.
>"C'mon new guy! Stretch that brain!"
"Alright! Give me a second..."
>You scan the room for any ideas on what your group could do. You get the feeling these three aren't exactly the most proficient at doing new things, so you'll have to choose carefully.
>After a few minutes, your eyes fall on an Ice Cream Sticker on the notebook of some puffy haired girl with big glasses.
"I got it!"
>"You do?!"
>"Tell us! Tell us!"
>They huddle around you with piqued interest.
"We're gonna...make Ice Cream."
>Their faces fall in disappointment.
>Scootaloo cocks an eyebrow.
>"This isn't Cooking Class Anon."
>Sweetie giggles at your suggestion.
>"Ice cream isn't science silly."
>You roll your eyes.
"We're making Ice cream to explain on how to lower the freezing point of water."
>Scootaloo waggles a finger getting it finally.
>"Oh...Ohhhh! That could actually just work!"
>Sweetie sucks her teeth.
>"Put it in the freezer to make it colder. DUH."
>You and Scootaloo both facepalm.
>Scoots starts explaining the meaning behind your suggestion, as Babs and Applebloom rejoin your group, both wearing angry expressions.
"Welcome back. Everything okay?"
>Babs folds her arms, glaring at Applebloom, who returns the look.
>"Everything is just FINE."
"Uh...O-okay?"
>Applebloom walks over to her two friends, turning her nose up at Babs, as they discuss your idea.
>"Look, I'll tell you about it later, okay? I'm a little pissed right now, and don't want ta take it out on you."
>Looks like they had a pretty good talk.
>The sound of AppleBloom sucking on her teeth grabs your attention.
>"Just put it in a freezer. DUH."
>"I know right?!"
>Scootaloo facepalms again.
>>
>>31728113
come on, sweetie belle, I thought you were the smart one
>>
>>31728192
I know, right? She's probably the only one of the crusaders who isn't inbred. I'm lookin' at you, Apple Bloom. Don't think I don't know what Applejack and Big Mac got up to all those years ago.
>>
>>31728364
>Engaging in incest is what makes you dumb, not being a product of it
>>
>>31728192
>>31728364
Two words
Anony-miss
>>
>>31728461
Yes, that was the joke. She's the product of incest.
>>
>>31728113
I wonder what the hell Babs and AB got all pissy about. Makes me even more surprised that AB was the one that started it, too.
>>
>>31728732
She's still angry that Babs made the moves on Mac last time she visited.

>"Mah brother still can't get those got-dang stains outta his sheets, y'little whore!"
>>
>>31728113
>One explanation later, and everyone was on the same page at last.
>"This idea might just net us first place! Imagine the fame, and prestige! We'd be local celebrities!"
>Sweetie has stars in her eyes at the idea of being famous.
>"It's just a local newspaper article. Not that big of a deal ah'd say."
>"You're just thinking too small."
>A smile creeps across your face, while they excitedly go over your ingenious suggestion.
>They all nod in unison, and face you.
>"So we talked about it..."
>Applebloom looks between her two friends.
>"We like yer idea, but we don't have the faintest clue on where we'd even start..."
>They nod in agreement.
"What do you mean? You start with Research. It's just Chemistry at its core."
>Sweetie brightens up.
>"Oh! You mean like mixing chemicals together! Babs used to use the clubhouse to mix chem-"
>Babs quickly covers her big mouth before she can blab any further.
>"Sweetie. SHUT UP."
>You'll have to watch yourself with these three. Especially Sweetie Belle.
>"What do we research? Ah know someone who's good with formulas and stuff! Ah can ask her--"
>You hold up a hand.
"No need. I already know what we'll need. Can you give me a piece of paper, and a pencil?"
>Scootaloo rips one out of her notebook, and hands it over.
>You start writing down various things for them to gather in order for the experiment to go off without a hitch.
>Babs peeks over your shoulder watching you work.
>"Say, how did you learn how to do all of this anyway?"
"I grew up in the hood. If you know how to make meth, you can make Ice Cream easy."
>All the girls look at you with big eyes.
"N-not that I made meth."
>You hand the list to the crusaders, who look it over.
"As long as we have all of that,everything else is easy. It's just a matter of talking after that."
>They nod to each other with smiles.
"The main point of this experiment is to explain how to lower the freezing point of water, and why it happens. The Ice cream is just judge fluff."
>>
>>31728838
The fuck?
I haven't been here since mid december, the candy-flurry story already finished?
>>
>>31728848
It got a rush job ending and no one was happy. So here we are.
>>
>>31728848
Yup. This here is a new story about Anon and his half-sister, Diamond Tiara. Much like Kirko's other story, this is gonna be a slow-burner, so you're going to have to play the long game if you want some sister-fucking.
>>
>>31728908
>Sister-fucking
Uhhh
>>
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>>31728926
Oh, you. Oh you, Kirko.
>>
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>>31728926
You know what must be done, writefriend. Dicking. Lots and lots of dicking.
>>
>>31728943
I want something to the effect of "dick the sister" in Latin done in the style of a Christian holy warrior yelling "Deus Vult", but I have no godly idea how to do it.
>>
>>31728954
you mean you want it translated in latin?
>>
>>31728960
The last time I tried to translate a phrase into Latin, I learned that they did not have a word for "pizza". I'm not very good at this.
>>
>>31728838
>"Oh! You mean like mixing chemicals together! Babs used to use the clubhouse to mix chem-

damn, Babs is ticking every white trash box she can, isn't she.

...oh my god, she's totally the Kenny of their group
>>
>>31728972
nigga pizza IS latin. Granted, nobody can agree on exactly what word it comes from, but whatever it is it has a latin root
for example if you go by the 'italian for fermented pastry' i.e. bread, cognate for pita, its root is greek pikte which is picta in latin.
Or if you go by the 'italian for pluck/pull' (be it pulling out the dough into a thin layer or pulling the whole pie out of the oven), the italian pinza derives from the latin pinsere. Same we get pincer and pinch from.
The only way there's no latin for pizza is if you go by the 'lombardic language influence' theory, which is pretty unlikely since the lombards just adopted latin and let their language go away
>>
>>31728995
Jesus christ, you know way more about this than I do. If I put enough effort into it (ie, more effort than "Google translate the word 'pizza' into Latin") I'm sure I could come up with something along the lines as what you provided. However, I refuse to use any of the Italian words for pizza, because the stuff they create in Italy is MUCH different than the stuff we make here in North America. I heard they don't even use sauce as a layer between the dough and the cheese. They use it as a topping, like pepperoni or olives.
>>
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>>31728838
>All in agreement over your idea, the bell rings signalling the start of the lunch period.
>The Crusaders could barely contain their excitement, hurriedly leaving the room, discussing how they would get the items on the list.
>"Look at that. First day, and you've already gotten used ta things."
"I had some a pretty awesome guide to show me around."
>Babs smiles.
>"I know I'm awesome, but pretty also? You're quite the charmer, huh?"
"WHAT? No I was saying you're pretty awesome! There's no comma--!"
>"So you don't think I'm pretty?"
>You start to stutter.
"No--I mean yes! Wait--You're cute and stuff, but I was saying you--"
>You facepalm feeling the stupidity flowing off you in waves.
>"I'm just busting ya chops a bit romeo. Take it easy!"
>She pats you on the back, slinging her arm around you once more.
>"So whatcha doing for Lunch? You brownbag it?"
>She ushers you out into the hallway.
"I didn't bring anything-"
>"Too poor to buy lunch,eh? Don't worry. I got ya covered. First times my treat-"
>Before the two of you can go any further, you're stopped in your tracks by none other than your half-sister.
>She's holding a solid gold box tucked under her arm staring daggers into you.
>"...."
>Babs face twists into a sour grimace.
>"It's the Princess again. Whaddya want now TinkerBell?"
>She stomps towards the two of you, shoving the box into your chest.
>"I wouldn't have done this if Daddy, and Randolph hadn't asked."
>Diamond then about-faces, and storms off with cheeks reddened by rage.
>"What was that all about?"
"I-I haven't the foggiest."
>"Well open it. See what she gave ya!"
>Babs takes her arm off you, allowing you to stand up straight, while you open the box.
>Carefully, undoing the clamps you open it,discovering food inside.
>"What the--Is this hunk of gold a friggin LUNCHBOX?!"
"I guess so."
>Babs eyes you suspiciously.
>"Anon...are you--"
>>
>>31729047
well authentic original neapolitan pizza used sort of loose chunks of tomato rather than a smooth sauce, yeah. but they also used loose flat chunks of cheese because they didn't have graters back then. Reshaping ingredients is different from reformulating them, so anytime you use a yeast dough, pulled thin, and cooked at high heat for a low time in order to make something crispy and chewy, it is real pizza.
the rest of the time it's american pizza, but that's fine. after all, american chinese food is better than chinese.. so is japanese chinese food, british indian food, and jewish greek food
>>
>>31729053
>>She stomps towards the two of you, shoving the box into your chest.
>>"I wouldn't have done this if Daddy, and Randolph hadn't asked."
>>Diamond then about-faces, and storms off with cheeks reddened by rage.

>"D-Dummy!"
>>
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>>31729058
While we're here, talking about pizza: I can't cook mine properly. The inside is always doughy, even if the outside is crispy and (in some cases) slightly burned. I usually cook it for about 11 minutes at 475-525*F, right? I don't go TOO hard on the sauce (despite how much I love extra sauce when I order out), and I don't smother the damn thing in cheese and toppings, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I mean, I don't use too much dough, and I make sure the crust is thin. I don't have a pizza stone to cook on, so I'm just using a standard circular cooking pan. This is the one big thing keeping me from making really good pizza. Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
>>
>>31729053
>You swallow a lump sitting in your throat.
>This is it. She's figured it out. She knows you're the son of Illumindaddy, and is gonna stop being your friend.
>"Diamond Tiara's Boyfriend or somethin...?"
>All your what.
"NO."
>She cocks an eyebrow.
>"Really?"
"POSITIVE."
>"Even though she gave you such an expensive thing?"
>You rub the back of your head.
"Let's just say we have an arrangement where she sometimes delivers things to me..."
>Babs stands there for a moment puzzled.
>"Ooooh. Is it like Blackmail? I'm surprised you're making her bring ya food. If I was a guy Blackmailing her, I'd shove my di-"
"It's not Blackmail. Let me stop you there."
>You don't wanna know what she was gonna say.
>"In any case, it doesn't matter. Soups on!"
>Babs keeping with her kind consistency showed you the Cafeteria, which resembled a Safari watering hole.
>Jocks, Rockers, Goths, Actors- They're all here.
>"Go find us a table. I have to wait in line."
"Sure. Any spot in particular?"
>"Somewhere with a window seat. I like a good open view of the outside in case I have to escape the police."
>She winks at you with a smirk.
>Fair enough.
>You take a deep breath, starting your scouting mission with a tinge of anxiety in your chest. It feels like everyone is staring at you.
>Or are they staring at the four pounds of solid gold you're holding?
>"Yoo-hoooo~!"
>Someone must really like that drink to be yelling it like that.
>"Yoo-hoooooo~! Over here!"
>A girl is waving you over with a handkerchief.
>You look around, and point to yourself.
>She nods, and motions for you to come over to her table.
>You reluctantly head over to see what she wants.
>At her table sits several other girls of various colors and styles.
>"Why hello there! I heard you were coming today, but I didn't think I'd get to meet you so soon!"
>She bats her eyes at you.
"Uhm...Thank you...miss?"
>She tilts her head, her royal purple curls bouncing with her.
>"I'm sorry. How rude of me! I'm Rarity~"
>>
>>31729141
my bro is the one who handles all the pizza making, but I hear the hotter the better for pizza, the minimum being 500 degrees F.

maybe try adjusting the cooking rack? not sure what the ideal position(gigidy) for making pizza is, but it might be worth experimenting with.
>>
>>31729177
>>She cocks an eyebrow.
>>"Really?"
>"POSITIVE."
"I mean, I'm not sure."
>>
>>31729181
I might do that. I usually judge when the pizza is ready by how the cheese looks, and I tend to take it out once the cheese has that nice burnt look to it. Maybe I need to risk actually burning it to get a good proper cook to the dough.
>>
>>31729195
How dare you! Just for that, All my lewd scenes will be fade to black like a shitty mass effect game because of you Anon.
>>
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>>31729228
>Be me
>Be the one who made the "Mass Effect Andromeda/10" comment
S-So, uh... how're things, Kirko?
I enjoyed Candy Hearts, you know. I was a fan of how spergy Flurry was.
>>
Last couple of posts before end of thread. Question for y'all: We usually get questions like "who is the best mom" or "who is the best sister". But who would be the best aunt? Luna? Redheart? Moondancer? OOOOOH THE RACE IS ON
>>
>>31729258
aunt's don't have to be authority figures like mom's but even if she is, I think spitfire would be a nice aunt
>>
>>31729269
Spitfire: that sexy aunt who teases you with her cleavage and sneaks you booze when your mom is out with her friends

>"No, seriously, kid: you'll never get laid if you can't learn to hold your liqueur."
>>
Damn. End of the thread already? Oh well. Here's a song dedicated to the current scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY
See you next thread gents
>>
>>31729296
Also, for you guys wanting more DT, she's coming up. You know I like to let my stew bubble before I add the meat~
>>
>>31729281
>She's always so physical with you
>"Heavens sake, Spits', he's damn near 18, he doesn't want his Aunt hanging on him." Your mom says
>'I wouldn't be so sure~'
>"What?"
>'I said I'm sure he doesn't mind, we're family after all.'
>>
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>>31729307
Next Edition is Rarity
Edition: I ain't saying she's a bad Mother, but she ain't messin with a broke brother
>>
Just in time, fresh off the presses:

>>31729335
>>31729335
>>31729335
>>31729335
>>31729335
>>
>>31729296
>gold digger
I have a better digger for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4
>>
>>31728838
>"I grew up in the hood. If you know how to make meth, you can make Ice Cream easy."
>>All the girls look at you with big eyes.
>"N-not that I made meth."
my sides
>>
>>31718305
holy shit that's dark
>>
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>>31729177
>>If I was a guy Blackmailing her, I'd shove my di-"

Babs is hardcore.
>>
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>>31729228
> shitty
> Mass Effect
Swear om me mum lad i'll make ya swallo' these blabbers
>>
>>31729141
if it's thin enough there shouldn't BE an inside to be doughy.
>pan
well there's part of your problem. at least preheat the pan
>>
>>31729269
the best aunt is some young character who gets to be the youthful adult




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