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There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

Getting mare-ied edition.

A collection of miscellaneous greens since the first thread.
https://pastebin.com/0JMPM6F8

Old thread:
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31704765/
>>
How can THOTs ever hope to compete with perfection?
>>
>>31713935
Nice pun my dude.
>>
>>31713935
Backlink to the old thread itself, please.
Desuarchive won't be around forever.
>>31704765
>>
>>31713935
If you were marrying one of Pinkie Pie's sisters or close friends, would you let her plan the event, or would you risk hurting her feelings by going with someone more professional?
>>
>>31714053
She can plan the reception. The wedding itself I would have a professional wedding planner for.
>>
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>>31713944
They cant, it's only because they are the only option available that they've managed to last so long.

>>31714053
>Forgetting that she helped with the royal wedding.
She can help with the party, but a proper wedding planner is essential.
>>
>>31714053
I would seriously hope not to be matched with any of her sisters. I really don't think I'd get along with any of them. I can't stand ultra shy or ultra aggressive poners. And Maud is too autistic.
>>
>>31714079
I bet Limestone is really nice, in her own way, once you get past her gruff exterior (and as long as you don't touch Holder's Boulder)
She's been under a lot of stress for most of her adult life and just needs someone to help her relax a little.
>>
Literally no woman existing, past, present, or future will ever be able to compete.
>>
>>31714120
I could not live on a literal rock farm in the middle of nowhere though. Circumstances would have to be such that she's left, and I don't see that ever happening. Me and the Pie sisters are fundamentally incompatible.
>>
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>When he tells you that he enjoys brushing your mane.
>>
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What do irl girlfriends actually have to offer? I have trouble understanding why I apparently /need/ a girlfriend.
I'm not sure I ever will understand. Poni poni to the grave and to Equestria
>>
>>31714136
That's fair.
It's important to know your limitations.
And you're right, there's no way she'd ever leave Hard Rock Hectares, any more than AJ would leave Sweet Apple Acres.
>>
>>31714143
Companionship (as if you can't just go to the Humane Society and get all the bitches you want), second income (but muh wage gap), children (yeah, right)
>>
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>Cadence says that all the humans who came to Equestria are valued friends and that she'll always lend an ear to them if they want to talk about anything. Even things they would find embarrassing to talk to their waifu about.
>Some take it to heart a little too much.
>She starts getting letters asking how about the best ways to lewd mares. Some of them are VERY detailed in what they want.
>>
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>>31714155
How can women compete?
Protip: Being real doesn't make them better
>>
>>31714143
>tfw wizard
you're asking the wrong guy, friendo
>>
>>31714156
>all of her sexual experience is with her husband
>she doesn't even know what a human dick looks like
>accordingly, sometimes she gives the bad advices without meaning to
>>
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>>31714156
Dear Condense,
Ponies are the best at hugging.
t. Anon
>>
There's a fair bit of exposition on this part, and it's somewhat edgy too, I hope you can put up with my shitty writing.

>>31638589
>”So, how do we do this?”
“We research, Starlight, just like how we were doing for the last four days”
>”Hooray…”
>If you’re gonna be this bitchy then you should’ve gone when Twilight told you to
>No one’s forcing you to stay this time
>Not that you were forcing them before, of course….
>Heh….
>Twilight accepted the deal, it was not like you had a knife to their throats or anything
>Ahem, getting sidetracked here
“I doubt the blank artificial body thing is the only way we have to rip Daybreaker out of Auntie, there must be other methods”
>Other less fucked methods too
>Anything that doesn’t involve creating a living body and keeping it soulless via magic spells
>Why was Sombra such an edgelord?
>Man, your vocabulary sure has grown after your scout mares started pulling men from their world
>Not for the better, but you like to think you’re a tiny bit more articulate with insults
>”Well, the notes left by Sombra are over a thousand years old, and the books seem to be even older, some dating from maybe five thousand years”
>”It wouldn’t be too farfetched to assume that the artificial body experiments were created way after the soul transferring spell, which means Cadance does a point”
>You do?
>You mean, yeah you do
>Of course you have a point
>”I mean, why would somepony even create a spell like that if they couldn’t cast it?”
>”But how do you know the date of these notes?”
>”Because any scientist worth their salt jots down the date of their experiments, Starlight”
>Did Twilight just praise Sombra?
>And she noticed it too, quickly babbling out an excuse
>”Oh, I-um…”
>Twilight hisses through her teeth
>”I don’t really like to admit it, but…”
>She just raises a hoof and waves it around the room
>Oh yeah
>>
>>31714179
>This whole lab is definitely the work of somepony who knew exactly what they were doing
>Years and years of hard work and experimentation that led to the colt inside that crystal
>And you three were about to tear this place down
>Not literally of course
>You fucking wish it was, though
>You did promise Twilight all of this would be hers once you’re finished
>But right now this place and everything in it is property of Mi Amore Cadenza
>And you’re gonna read all these books until your eyes bleed out
>There’s a mare that up until a week ago you didn’t even knew existed that needs her man
“Alright then, let’s do this”
>…
>By the maker, it’s being three days already!
>Oh dear Auntie, why have you forsaken your poor nephew?
>You just wanted to pair up two love deprived beings together
>It’s a noble cause, isn’t it?
>Sure, you made Auntie cry
>And bribed one of your best friend into helping you, and then treated her like a servant
>And is kinda dabbling into dark magic and morally detestable arts that’d make ponies question whether you should even be allowed to walk freely without psychological supervision
>But it’s still a noble cause nonetheless
>However, the world’s apparently conspiring against your love crusade
>As if telling you that what you’re doing is a bad idea and you stop
>Pish-Posh world, you won’t stop
>Who does it take you for, a loser?
>You’re the only one allowed to call yourself a loser
>To the rest of the world you’re gonna be a winner
>Yeah, Daybreaker is a villain, so what?
>You’ve seen mares who were condemned for heinous crimes like murder, slavery, torture, and whatnot turn a new leaf after meeting a man
>And she will be no different
>You’re not giving up
>You’re finding a way to get those two together no matter what
>Even if it means freezing Anonymous
>Even if it takes the rest of your eternal life
>You. Will. Match. Th-
>”I found it!”
>>
>>31714167
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rsmH74Xck8
>>
>>31714184
>YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
>”Oh my Celestia, it actually exists!?”
>-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
>”Yes, I can’t believe it either, Cadance was actually right for once”
>-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
>“Cadance, shut up!”
“-EEEEEEEEEEEEE-!!“
>You clamp your mouth shut
>Oh, jeez, did you scream out loud?
>Now that’s embarrassing
>But you don’t give a damn because Twilight has found it
>Hot damn, you can’t even control your legs and keep yourself from prancing in place like a complete dork
>Because you don’t give a damn, Twilight has fucking found it
“What are you waiting for?”
>You go sonic fast and zip across the room to Twilight’s now uncomfortable face
“C’mon, tell us what it says”
>She pushes my face back with her hoof
>”Easy there”
>She says, floating the book up to the wooden table and motioning you and Starlight to follow
>”I’m not one hundred percent sure this is what you are looking for, but so far the contents have matched with you specifics, find a way to take Daybreaker out of Princess Celestia, and give her another body that isn’t an artificial one”
>She pulls three chairs with her magic and you three sit down on them to read the book with Twilight
>Soul Power, huh? Fitting name for a book that deals with soul transferring shenanigans
>”Okay, so here’s what it says”
>”The art of transferring a soul from one body to another was created by the cult of the Ever Living, a cult of ponies who venerated the Princesses of the Sun and Moon for their eternal life, who all wished to attain the same divine gift of living till the ends of time”
>Jeez, what a bunch of sad little ponies
>Eternal life isn’t as great, guys
>It sounds great on paper, but then you realize that you’ll outlive nearly everyone that you love
>Like how you’ll outlive Shiiiiiiii-
>-it
>You better stop before you get depressed
>>
>>31714189
>“So, in order to reach their dreams of an ever living lifespan, they studied and researched for years. Discoveries were passed on for the next generations, who went on to expand upon them, and come closer to unveiling the secret to eternal life. And centuries later, they developed the method that would give them, not an immortal body, but an immortal presence. They developed a ritual that that allowed them to transfer their beings into another body, Pony or otherwise”
>Ohhh, you’re getting so close to your answer you can taste it
>You don’t really get what they meant by presence, but you can almost taste victory
>And it tastes like ominous atmosphere and-
>Oh wait, you’re breathing through your mouth
“What else does it say, Twilight?”
>You mush your cheek against your purple friend’s face
>You wanna take a look at the book too, not just listen to Twiggles
>“Be patience Cadance”
>She takes another gander at the book, humming while doing so
>”Okay, so the presence part doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, and it doesn’t explain it in full detail so far, but I assume it means it doesn’t necessarily transfer souls, but more like, you yourself, as a pony, as an entity, into another body”
>Oh, you get it
>Kinda
>More than you did before, that’s for sure
>“Alright then, let’s continue”
>She clears her throat
“There are a total of two key items required for the ritual to be executed. First and foremost, a Soul Stone is needed”
>A Soul Stone?
>For a ritual that isn’t ‘necessarily about transferring souls’ as Twilight put it, it sure has a lot of soul in the names, huh?
>Soul Power
>Soul Stone
>What? Next, you’re gonna tell moi that the name of the ritual is actually called Soul Transfer?
>Let’s see, let’s see
>…
>It’s Soul Transfusion
>You almost got it
>There’s an unhealthy amount of uncreative names here
>>
>>31714196
>”The Soul Stone is a magical artifact that can only be found in the depths of the Well of Spirits, a well that houses the souls of all the ponies and creatures that… *gulp* perished while imprisoned in Tartarus, waiting for redemption”
>… you’re not really liking the way this is going
>”A Soul Stone is made when a soul residing in the Well of Spirits starts to harden once the soul finally accepts there’s redemption to be had, turning into a solid rough gem. The rough gem then must be taken to a lapidary, to cut and polish the gem into a proper Soul Stone”
>Along with this fucking depressing description, there’s a hoof drawn picture of a Soul Stone in its rough and lapidated state.
>The rough gem is a long, wavy and wispy piece of rock, almost like a trail of smoke that took a solid form
>While the Soul Stone is an oval gem
>You’d say it’s a very beautiful looking gem
>If it didn’t have an Aunty damn pony’s skull swirling inside of it
>Seriously, that shit looks terrifying
>You’re sure the humans would find it super cool, though
“Oookay… what else does it say, Twilight?”
>”The second key item is…”
>What, the second key item is what?
>”T-the second key item is…”
>Uh-oh, you don’t like sound of Twi’s voice
>Guess you better read for it yourself then
>Hmm, need a vessel for the soul/entity to be sealed, ‘kay
>But not just any vessel, alright
>To complete the ritual it is needed the body of a pony on the-
>Oh fuck!
>“The second key item needed for the ritual is a vessel. But not just any vessel, to complete the ritual it is needed the body of a Pony who is in the verge of death…”
>Thank you for picking up the slack Starlight, you’re not so sure you wanted to hear it though
>A pony on the verge of death? This is fucked up, the ponies who made this ritual were fucked in the head
>They’re like Sombra before Sombra was even a thing
>>
>>31714200
>Tartarus, if anything Sombra might’ve even been part of this insane cult at one point
>Would explain this hidden lab
“Does it explain why it needs… that?”
>You ask Twilight, but she doesn’t respond
>She’s completely out there
>Not even poking seem to bring the mare out of her funk
>”I… think it does”
>Starlight said, pulling the book over to her with magic
>Seems like she decided to pick up after Twilight indefinitely, who’s just sitting there, still processing what she just read
>Starlight’s taking this pretty well, all things considered
>You’d think that she would be at least half as shocked as Twilight, but nope
>Oh yeah, you forgot
>Former villain
>“It says here that in order to complete the ritual, a near dead body with an extremely low survival rate is needed because it is at this point where the body’s spiritual defenses, the book’s saying, not mine, are at its lowest, and the pony’s soul is at its weakest, allowing for the entry of another presence, or soul, or whatever you call it, without resistance or immediate rejection”
>Okay, alright….
>So, it doesn’t sound AS bad as you thought it was
“A-and why is that?”
>You ask out of morbid curiosity
>”It says here that a dead vessel becomes completely sealed from outside spiritual and soul manipulation, including the Soul Transfusion ritual. If I were to assume, I’s say it’s probably due to there being no soul, along with its bodily functions ceasing to work. It would explain why the Artificial Body had to be kept alive via magic spells and nourishment up until the ritual. If its body stopped working then another one would have to be made from scratch”
>That makes sense, you guess
>It’s a dead body, it shouldn’t suddenly start working again just because there’s a new soul in it
>Why are you thinking about dead bodies so fucking casually?
>>
>>31714203
“I-is it possible to perform the ritual on a completely healthy vessel?”
>What are you thinking Cadance?
>You better stop Cadance
>“… yes, but there’s a catch, if the Soul Transfusion is done on a very much alive Pony, all you would get is this Pony, but with a soul sealed inside its body. There’s also the chance of an immediate rejection, with the transferring soul being stuck in the living plane until it dissipates”
“And what would happen next?”
>“Depending on who it was, and how it acted on its original body, it might manifest itself during big emotional moments, be them anger, distress, sadness, happiness. But always temporarily, it’ll never become the dominant presence in the body”
>You gulp
“And can you explain again why we need a near dead pony?”
>Starlight raises an eyebrow and looks at you funny
>You don’t like the way she’s looking at you right now
>“Yes… we need mare on the verge of death because the soul of a dying pony and its body’s spiritual defenses are at its lowest, and are too weak to resist being overpowered by the transferred soul, or entity”
“And what happens when you perform the ritual on a near dead pony?”
>Aren’t you getting a little too curious here Cadance?
>Why don’t you just stop already?
>You should’ve done that back when you discovered this damn lab
>But here you are, digging the hole deeper
>”The transferring soul snuffs the vessel’s soul out of existence, effectively killing the body’s original owner, while the new soul takes over”
>*gulp*
“A-and what happens next?”
>Damn it Cadance, what the fuck are you saying?!
>“Next you need to heal the body, the ritual won’t stop the body from dying, so a team of extremely qualified spell-casters and medics on call are needed to perform any emergency procedure, it really depends on the body’s state on the time of the ritual.”
“Is that all?”
>>
>>31714207
>”No, if the ritual succeeds, the body will mutate to have the appearance and body structure of the transferred soul in due time, just like with the artificial body. But that’s not all there is to it. The book also says in the chapter’s summary that the chances of the ritual succeeding are low, very, very low. And if the ritual fails, whatever you tried to transfer will roam the world as a spirit until it dissipates into nothingness”
“I-into nothingness as in-
>”As in, it will cease to exist, forever, not even the soul of an immortal pony can survive roaming the living plane without a body, and not even reincarnation becomes available for this soul, it’ll just be erased, same happens to the soul that dies out after successful ritual”
>By the maker, this is just…
>Do you even want to go through?
>Are you really willing to proceed with this ritual?
>It is all so…
>>Yes, yes you want, Anon is counting on you remember?
>Wha- Yes, but… this wrong
>>And leaving Daybreaker trapped inside of Auntie forever, not ever knowing what it feels to be loved, isn’t wrong as well?
>Yeah, bu-
>>But what? What’s the issue in taking the body of a Pony who’s already dying anyway? It’s not like she’ll ever survive if what the ritual asks for is anything to go by. If anything the pony and her family would feel honored that her body can become the vessel of a new princess
>But what about the success ra-
>>This is an Alicorn we’re talking about, heightened senses and bodily functions, remember? Faster healing factor will definitely kick in and bump the success rate considerably. There’s absolutely no chance of her dying on us, or the ritual ever failing, especially when you have Twilight and Starlight to perform it for you
>>
>>31714215
>>Besides, since it would take time for the vessel to fully mutate into Daybreaker’s body, and for her powers to fully develop, and in the meantime, Anon could convince her not to kill everybody before her powers come back
>Y-yes, you’re right…
>>No Cadance YOU are right
>Yes
>I am right
“S-so all we need is a Soul Stone and a near dead pony? Doesn’t seem so hard”
>Pick that jaw from the floor, Starlight
>You don’t know how many germs there are in this filthy lab
>And a little to her side, Twilight still looks out there, you swear you saw one of her ears swivel in your direction though
>”I-you- what was that?”
>The second purple genius shakes her head, clearly confused by your choice of words
“I said that finding a Soul Stone and a near dead pony sounds simple enough”
>You jump off the chair and stretch your limbs, using your magic to float the book next to you and look for the picture of the Soul Stone in its rough and lapidated states
>The polished Soul Gem still looks super creepy, and you bet it’ll creep you out no matter how many times you stare at the picture
>Starlight looks at you like she saw a serial killer just murder one of her friends right in front of her face
>”Y-you’re actually going to through with this?”
“Yes, I am”
>“E-even after all… THIS!?”
>She waves her forelegs around, motioning for the entire lab surrounding you two plus the shell shocked Twilight
“Absolutely-”
>“ not…”
>Something interrupts you
“What?”
>Not?
>Who said tha-
>Oh, Twilight is finally getting out of her funk
>“Absolutely not”
>The low tone she used to speak immediately gives you red flags
>Twilight turns her eyes in your direction, and boy, does she look angry
>”Cadance, I’m not allowing you to continue this madness”
>She jumps off her own chair and trots
>No, scratch that
>Stomps her way up to you
>All the while glaring in her direction
>“Can’t you see this isn’t right?”
>Yeah, you can
>>
>>31714220
>But what else can you do? You’ve searched and researched, and this is the only way you have found to match Anon and Daybreaker
>It’s not like a solution to your problem is gonna drop from the sky right into your lap
>This is the only choice you have, either go through with the ritual, or give up
>And you’re not giving up
“I can, but this is also the only way”
>Twilight’s glare intensifies as she leans forward on the tip of her fore hooves and stares into your eyes
>”Then don’t”
>Don’t?
>As in, don’t do it? Give up?
“Twilight, I can’t just giv-“
>”Yes you can!”
>She nearly screams in your face, at this point she’s pushing you back with her forehead, your horns crisscrossing as she does
>But you can’t let her push you around, and you stop her charge, trying to push her back also
>Geez, she’s got a hard head
“Twilight, you have to understand I’m doing this for the happiness of Anon and Daybreaker”
>”And I’m telling you this has to stop, I’m not siding with you anymore Cadance, and not I’m letting you continue with this inpony ritual!”
>Twiight’s getting angrier and angrier
>And the angrier she gets, the more nervous YOU get
>You’ve never seen her like this before, and it’s making you uncomfortable
>Twilight should never have this expression of anger on her face
>Maybe a little miffed, but not straight up mad
>You’re starting to have second thoughts about this
>No, stop that
>Don’t doubt yourself, this is for Anon and Daybreaker, keep that in mind
“Is it really that bad, to get a dying Pony to perform the ritual?”
>Twilight looks at you like you just grew a second head
>That kind of sounded better in your mind
>”Yes, yes it is Cadance, what in Tartarus are you saying?”
“But if she’s dying already, wouldn’t we be giving her body, like, a second chance?”
>>
>>31714229
>She finally lets off the pushing and takes a few shaky steps back
>Her face slowly morphing from anger to a horrified glare
>Behind her, Starlight looks just as horrified, with a drop of confusion in there too
>”Even if that’s true, you’re still willing to kill an innocent pony that can still survive and live a full life”
>K-kill an innocent pony?
>Are you really willing to kill a civilian?
>You thought that since the pony in question couldn’t possibly survive, it wouldn’t be an issue
>But if she can survive, you’d just be taking away her second chance
>Y-you can’t just give up though, you have to think of something else
>Think Cadance, think
“T-then why don’t we get an elderly mare on her last legs, I-I mean, it’s not like she’ll have much lo-“
>”CADANCE ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING TO YOURSELF!?!”
>The entire room shakes from Twilight’s Royal Canterlot Voice, with the glass vials and containers exploding and spilling their gooey contents all over the place
>Even the crystal holding the colt cracked under the pressure of her yell
>She doesn’t look angry anymore
>Twilight looks absolutely pissed
>Why do you feel your foreleg moving on its own?
>Looking down, you see that it isn’t just moving, it’s shaking
>Your whole body is shaking, actually
>Snapping your eyes toward Twilight gets you an immediate step back
>A-are you afraid… of Twilight?
>!
>T-twilight!
>You yelp as she picks you up with her magic and slams you against the bookshelf
>With a ton of force
>The impact leaves you out of air as the old wooden planks break apart and the books rain down around you
>You try to move only to realize that you’re still under Twilight’s magical grip, being pressed forcefully against the broken shelf
>S-scratch that, she looks downright livid
>”Oh my Celestia, Twilight, what are you doing?!”
>>
>>31714233
>Starlight’s shocked yell falls on deaf ears, for Twilight only has eyes for you, and those eyes scream rage
>“Just take a moment and try to listen to the… the… INSANITY YOU’RE SPOUTING!”
>“You’re talking about taking somepony’s life, forever, even in afterlife, like it’s nothing but a chore!”
>She pushes you even further into the broken wooden structure, the sharp broken remains of the shelves painfully jabbing your soft back skin
>”And disrespecting that pony’s family by putting the body through a black magic ritual, and refusing to give them the chance to make a proper funeral”
“T-twi” you manage to let out as a gasp of air
>”All so you can give one guy. ONE. SINGLE. PERSON. A fucking mare to date? One that’s a threat to all of Equestria, at that?!”
>You gasp as the wood pierces your back and draws blood, but Twilight’s pressure don’t give you enough air to scream
“T-twilight, stop…”
>You can feel the corner of your eyes water in both pain and fear
>This isn’t Twilight, she never acted this way before
>”Cadance, no! I am not letting you follow through with this! This is so wrong on so many ways, I can’t even name them all!”
>”And if you’re still willing to go through with his, then I’ll have to stop you, even If by force!”
“Twilight, please, you’re hurting me…”
>You manage form a full sentence, and that looks to be enough to get Twilight off of you
>She drops you flat on the floor unceremoniously
>And you cough and gasp for air, while using your own magic to pull the piece of wood that pierced you in the back
>Thankfully, it was a small piece of wood
>…
>While you try to stabilize your breathing, you feel them
>You feel her eyes glaring holes on the back of your skull
>You dare not raise your head and face those livid purple orbs once more
>Preferring to keep your vision completely focused on the dirty, grimy floor for now
>>
>>31714239
>You dare not even raise yourself, only leaning on your forelegs, still trying to catch your breath
>”So, what is it going to be, Cadance, will you stop? Or do I have to fight you?”
>Your breath hitches in your throat, and your eyes widen in shock
>Fight?
>F-fight you?
>Oh dear Faust, i-is this how far you have gone?
>So deep into this whole mess that Twilight is willing to fight you?
>You slowly look up to meet up with Twilight’s face
>And you see it, you see it, and you don’t
>You see there’s small shred of remorse on Twilight’s cold, hardened face, in the form of small tears on the corner of her eyes
>She’s not sorry about hurting you, but you can see she doesn’t want to do this either
>However, you don’t see any signs of her backing down
>Twilight knows what she said and she’ll follow through if you step out of line
>Step out of the line…
>Oh Faust, what were you thinking?
>Were you really planning on taking somepony’s life just to carry out your promise?
>Looking at her in the eyes is impossible
>The shame doesn’t let you
>S-so this is it…
>The end of the line
>All that hard work for naught
>You wished Twilight was wrong
>Oh, how you wished she was wrong
>And that you were right
>That this whole thing wasn’t as morbid, and wrong as it is
>That it was just a simple task
>But she’s right, she’s always right
>You can’t do this
>… Anonymous…
>How are you even going to explain this to Anon?
>You promised you’d get him to meet his match
>You promised yourself that you wouldn’t let him down… but you can’t fulfill it, this is just too much
“I… I’m sorry Twilight…”
>You can feel hot, wet trails running down your cheeks
”I just…”
>>
>>31714242
>”I just…”
Want to marry Cadence, for she is my waifu.
>>
>>31714242
>You must look like a wreck right now
>All the buildup tension, and stress, and fear of failure that you held back during the last week tears through your emotional barrier
>Your body rocks as you can’t hold back your sobs anymore
“I’m sorry Twilight… I’m sorry Anonymous…”
>Flinching when a pair of hooves suddenly cradles your head
>You look up to see Twilight’s visage of anger gone, replaced by the shedding of her own tears
>Pulling you close, she holds your quaking figure against her chest, and all you can do is throw your forelegs around her and hold her tight, bury your face on her chest and cry
>>
>>31714245
>wanting to cuckold Shining Armor
BEGONE
>>
>>31714248
There it is, hopefully it wasn't too edgy, or too cringy,or too badly written, or all three who am I kidding, it was probably all three and then some
>>
>>31714263
>Implying it's cucking if you're both married to her
>Implying it's cucking if Shining is gone
>>
>>31714264
Here's the pastebin for anyone who haven't read the rest
https://pastebin.com/SRTzXyLm
>>
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>Have reasonable concerns about Discord and wonder if you'll get along with him.
>5 minutes into CHAOS and chill she gives you this look.
>>
>>31714263
Maybe he wants to hook up with her several hundred years after the show, when the Cake twins are grandparents and Shiny's been dead of natural causes long enough for Cadance to be ready to love another
did you even consider that
huh
>>
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>>31714264
I swear to god every time I read your updates I'm just preparing for something incredibly bad to happen but so far you've managed to postpone it. It was also nice to see Twilight finally getting enough of this shit, she of all ponies should know where to draw the line and Cadence was way beyond it without even realizing it. This reality check was long overdue for her, but they're all cracking down from pressure there. I hope they can find a real solution without gutting the morals so they can at least sleep with both eyes closed for the rest of their lives. Overall, I'm curious to see where this leads so I'm holding my breath for more updates soon.
>>
>>31714264
IS GOOD. This is an interesting take on it where it isn't instant happiness and has actual obstacles. I eagerly await more.

>Captcha: Champ ROAD
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>>31714279
>Wanting to cuckold Discord
BEGONE
>>
>>
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>>31714302
They're just good friends until we see a kiss.
>>
>>31714248
>It can't be done.
>Anon is understandably upset and just retreats when confronted.
>Cadence finds him the next day, an hero.
>Daybreaker, even with such a separation, feels his death.
>Her only chance of freedom is dead before she could even get to know him.
>She shrinks in on herself, vanishing into Celestia's mind and fading away.
>Two lives lost because of her failure.
>Cadence breaks.
>>
>>31714264
It's pretty edgy, considering that it looks like Sombra was working on the soulless artificial body thing because the ritual as written was too gross and unethical for him.
That said, I'm certainly enjoying this green and want ot see where it goes next.
>>
>>31714332
Keep telling yourself that.
>>
>>31714336
Honestly, were I DaybreakerAnon and lovehorse explained to me all that heinous shit they'd have to do to hook me up with my top match, I think I'd be willing to settle.
>>
>>31714345
This. Conducting experiments that are more than questionable no matter how you look at it wouldn't sit well with me and I'd be constantly reminded that a life had to be taken for me to live with an unleashed villain that's five seconds away from going nuclear wiping the whole country with its fire.
>>
>>31714280
>all the Cadancefags get put in stasis so that after she finishes mourning her last husbando she can just crack open a cold one
>that way she's never lonely and nobody cucks anybody
>>
>>31714364
Or she could just marry Anon right away so long as he and Shining gets together well enough.
>>
>>31714378
>herd
>poly
boo hiss
>>
>>31714378
wrong
>>
>>31714167
>She gets a letter from one embarrassed Anon who followed some of her half baked advice.
>He went too deep and accidentally got stuck in his waifu's cervix, a painful experience for both.
>It made for an awkward hospital trip.
>>
preggo waifu is a happy laifu
>>
>>31714380
>>31714402
Didn't see you react like this when someone talked about the Spa twins in the previous thread. What is your problem?
>>
>>31714417
>still not the worst thing Dr. Flatline has ever had to pull out of a mare
>not even in the top ten
>>
>>31714423
Twins are perhaps the one exception to this and even then it's iffy.
>>
>>31714423
IIRC, the Spa Twins talk almost immediately revolved onto "they get matched with twin Anons who naturally understand that Aloe and Lotus don't want to share that part of their life with each other" so it's not really comparable
>>
>>31714430
What if you get matched to a mare who promised her sister they would herd up one day because they loathe to be apart?
>>
>>31714451
Look, there's nothing inherently wrong with threesomes and moresomes, as long as everyone involved loves everyone else enough that if they were the only two left, they'd still want to stick together, but herding is still 1. off topic ("A man and A mare") and 2. too much work to keep in line and make sure that all poly talk is the good kind, just like fillycon and homos.
Start your own thread with blackjack and hookers if you want herdshit so badly.
>>
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>>31714451
Try to make it work i guess, i'm of the Persuasion that herdshit and poly relationships are fine so long as it isnt centered on one person.
A B C are in a relationship.
If A+B works and B+C works but A+C dont, then it's shit and doomed to fail.
Mono is simply easier to get right, so stick with that ITT.
>>
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>>31714464
So this is nmp posting. Claiming to love mares but unable to tolorate even minor variations of that love. I don't think anyone on this thread would be welcome on Equestria.
>>
>>31714464
>Anons are allowed to love a mare, but only under my conditions
Ponies would hate people like you.
>>
>>31714483
>"N-No you guys, I'm not a degenerate, I'm just so overflowing with love that if I only had one mare she'd swell up and burst like a balloon! I really NEED more than one; I've got a doctor's note and everything! Please indulge my off-topic fetish, guys!"
Start your own thread with blackjack and hookers if you want herdshit so badly.
>>
>>31714489
>>31714483
At least make an attempt when shitposting and samefagging, holy shit anon.
>>
>>31714497
I'm actually kind of surprised there isn't a pony harem thread up already.
>>
>>31714503
>Implying samefagging
>Implying only one person can love Cadence
I'd post a screenshot proving you wrong, but you would probably just edit it so that both replies has a (you) in it and then say "faggot".
>>
>>31714505
Apparently they tried to start it back up alongside the Casual/Public Sex general, but unlike C/PS it ate shit and died because nobody was interested.
>>
>>31714531
I guess they started too early, then.
>>
>>31714523
>Implying only one person can love Cadence
Why not just get in line, then? >>31714364
Do you really want to be bros with Shiny so specifically that Flurry's son-in-law wouldn't be an acceptable substitute?
Help me out here; why are you people so fixated on Eiffel Tower-ing Cadance while sloppily making out with her other husband?
>>
>>31714541
Who knew a pony show might attract literal faggots, huh
>>
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>>31714523
I'm slightly concerned that you have legitimate brain damage instead of just pretending.
How would -my- edit be proof in any way that you're a samefag.
>>
>>31714541
Why are you so obsessed with making it sound like those who loves Cadence only wants to make out with Shining? Seriously, that's pretty pathetic.
>>
>>31714548
>I'm slightly concerned that you have legitimate brain damage
Says the guy who simply cannot ignore those who say they love a certain mare in a thread that is all about love between a man and a mare.
>>
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>>31714561
>>31714550
Go take your medication anon, we'll still be here when you get back.
>>
>>31714550
Well, you want to be married to both of them, don't you?
Buy the ticket, take the ride on Shiny's wedding tackle as Cadance sits on his horn and shouts how much she loves you both.
>>
>>31714583
>on Shiny's wedding tackle as Cadance
>tackle as Cadence
What? Are you suggesting body-swapping magic?
>>
>>31714622
No, he's saying you should take SA's dick up your ass while Cadence rides his head-horn because that's not gay at all.
Dude's just a faggot in denial, so I think we can safely ignore him or at least ostracize his cadence-posting.
>>
>>31714622
That'd be hot, too.
>tfw you'll never body-swap with Cadance and shudder in joy as she (you) fucks a satyr abomination into you (her)
>>
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>>31714301
>>31714292
Nice to see that you're all enjoying it, makes it all worth to me.

>>31714338
Nah, it's because the ritual with a souless artificial body is easier to perform, it's just more time consuming since the artificial body takes the same amount of time to mature as a natural born pony. With no soul in the body, there's no rejection, and the chances of failure lowers considerably. I take Sombra as the kind of guy who would want to find the easiest, and safest way to do anythings that concern his well being. He wouldn't take any chances transferring his body to a near dead pony where the success rate is lower than with an artificial body, especially if he's got doctors and spell casters who aren't up to the task of healing his ass after the ritual.

If there were no other ways, he wouldn't hesitate to gut a pony to become his new vessel.
>>
>>31714713
but what if clone has a soul, and hasn't realized it because it's been kept in a tube for centuries? What if an unformed soul is easiest to overwrite due to it not having the time to form?
I guess that line of thought might have been discarded because none of those cultists wanted to suffer puberty again.
>>
>>31714724
>I guess that line of thought might have been discarded because none of those cultists wanted to suffer puberty again
The artificial body stuff came way after the cultists developed the ritual
>>
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>all these cadancefags openly willing to cuck their bro
>>
>>31714820
>Implying it's cucking when both Cadence and Shining agree to it
>>
>>31714832
> ywn spitroast Cadence highfiving with your bro Shining
>>
>>31714792
Well, yeah, but it's not like they wanted to jump into baby bodies, even though that would likely be the simplest method in early trials.
>>31714820
>all
It's like, one or two guys. One of which I'm almost sure is just doing it to shitpost and get reactions out of us. They other one's a polyfag.
>>
>>31714280
Tfw you would kill off your supposed "waifu's" true love just to justify her touching your pee pee. She was married to the head of the Equestrian Guard. They fought together and saved their kingdom on multpile occasions. They raised a child and a kingdom back into greatness together. For you to think that she would even want to take another lover after the relationship she's had with Shining, is laughable.

Taking part in Alicorn poon tang increases the life span of mortals. This is now canon. Go cuck someone else Cadence fags.
>>
>>31714378
Cuck.
>>
Is it that hard to ignore the shitposters? Jeez.
>>
>>31714364
Taking part of Alicorn poon tang increases a mortals life span. This is now canon. Shining lives for as long as his wife does and Cadence never has to worry about having to see her true love dying.
>>
>>31714550
Because you're cucks
>>
>>31714941
>Shining lives for as long as his wife does
>My headcanon = canon
>Because my headcanon said so!
Why can't you just ignore posts that mentions a particular mare?
>>
>>31714832
Faggot wants to flaunt that crusty boy pussy at Shining.
>>
>>31714927
Apparently so.
>>
>>31714959
An infestation needs to be nipped in the bud, before it can spread.
>>
>>31714959
To be fair, Shining and Cadence will both "die" after Gen4 ends, so he's not completely wrong.
>>
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THESE WORDS REACH OUT TO EVERY ANON THAT HAS EVER CALLED THIS THREAD HOME

Anons, why are you all here. Are you all just here to satisfy some...fetish. Or are you all here because you know the great truth

The great truth that there is nothing more pure than LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND A MARE

I don't claim to know all the answers. I simply don't.
But I would like to warm the hearts of everyone if possible - Anon, writefag - OP, artfag

We all want to feel love. We are likes that. We want to live with knowledge of loyal intimacy, not with - false-hearted infidelity.
We don't want broken homes or broken hearts. Rather we search for loving bonds and relationships. Our strive for these things has brought us closer together.
The very nature of our endeavor cries out for the goodness in love. The way of true love can be free and beautiful, but the world has lost the way

The thots of our land have tainted the idea of love with unfaithfulness and deceit, and with this corruption, fuckboys and cucks have risen to power.
We are not fuckboys. We are not cucks. WE ARE MEN

You have the love of mares in your hearts. Do not cuck, only the unloved cuck. Men don't fight for cuckoldry, fight for loyalty

The great goddess of love has declared that THE LOVE OF A MARE IS WITHIN MAN. Not one man nor a group of men. In all men, in you!
You, Anons have that love. A love to create a family. A love to create happiness.
You, Anons have the love of a mare to make both your lives free and beautiful. To make your lives together a wonderful adventure

Then in the name of love, LET US ALL UNITE. Let us cherish our mares. Our loving mares. A love that will never betray, ignore, or deceive.
By the promise of these things, thots have risen to power. But they lie. They do not fulfill that promise. They never will. A thot loves herself but deceives men.
Let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free ourselves. IN THE NAME OF LOVE, LET US ALL UNITE

AMORE VULT
>>
>>31715050
WE'RE MEN
WE'RE MEN IN TIIIIGHTS
WE ROAM AROUND THE FOREST FIGHTING WITH THOOOOTS
>>
>>31715059
>implying thots are present anywhere but cities
you wouldn't be able to force them to go camping if their lives depended on it.
>>
>>31714990
>Gen4 ends.
>Everyone is together for a group photo.
>Spike sets the timer and flies into position.
>Two of those present have smiles fixed upon their faces, but it doesnt reach their eyes.
>Camera flash goes off and everyone is blinded for a moment.
>When it fades Pinkie and Discord share a confused glance as they realise that everything still is.
>Discord reaches out with a claw and taps the air in front of him.
Anons across the world swear they can hear a strange noise during the credits of the last episode, but nobody can say for certain.
>>
>>31714053
this >>31714064
>>
>>31715083
>post-credits of the second movie
>breaking down the set like the series finale of Brave and the Bold
>Pank and Discord are the ones rolling the now-cardboard cutout ponies off to the side
>"9 years wasn't a bad run, I suppose"
>>
>>31714156
Dear Princess Cadance,
Thank You
>>
>>31689820
Part 2 The next day.

>Opening your eyes you notice the room starting to fill with light despite the curtains best efforts.

>You also notice a set of limbs wrapped around your neck and barrel, holding you close to the one sharing your bed, Anon.

>This is the first time since his arrival that you could just enjoy being held. you shift slightly to press more against him and take a deep breath to sigh deeply

>Or you would have sighed if not for the loud and unlady like sneeze that took you by surprise.

>The sudden movement alerted you to the aching in your head and stiffness in your limbs, symptoms you thought were merely from sleeping in after working far too many hours on your hooves.

>Combine that with the sneeze, your now apparent runny nose, and what you had thought was just the warmth from your two bodies might be a low-grade fever.

>No no no NO NO! this was supposed to be your days off, spent getting to know Anon, the lonely ranch hand from a place he called Texas, and for Anon to know Redheart, a lonely nurse so busy with her career and taking care of other ponies, she forgot to take care of herself.

>Hopefully it was just her allergies flaring up and not the equine flu or a cold. winter wrap up was only a moon past and all the new flowers blooming this spring had hit her worse than normal due to working herself so much.

>You didn't panic long because working as a nurse had taught you to be pragmatic and control what you can. rolling over to rouse Anonymous, you see that he is already awake.

"Hello nurse." Anon says playfully before replying with a more concerned tone and reaching up to feel your ears. "Are you not feeling well? you seemed to have slept very soundly last night at the very least."

>"No, it seems not." you sigh, sounding a little defeated "I had hoped I would not catch the cold that has been going around Ponyville, but it seems my number has come up"
>>
>Sliding out of bed you stiffly walk toward your bathroom. "Anon, can you warm up the kettle for some chamomile tea? I think that and a warm shower should help alleviate my symptoms."

"Of course, I'll warm up some oats as well, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Especially for sick nurse ponies." Anon said with a wink.

>some time later you stepped out of the shower feeling much better, the steam having cleared your sinuses and relaxed your aching muscles. Your lavender scented soap having already eased your headache somewhat.

>leaving the bathroom, you lean down and grab the blanket that yesterday Redheart left for you, and throw it over your back, like a fluffy red cape. it was enough to cut out the chill you felt leaving the warm steamy bathroom.

>plodding softly into your living room, you notice your nurses cap, that had been left on the coffee table last night has been replaced with a bowl of steaming oats and honey with pieces of apple mixed in, surrounded by a plate of toast and with some strawberry preserves, and your cup of chamomile tea.

"feeling any better patient Redheart?" Anon says from the kitchen over the sounds of a knife on a cutting board. "I'm making some vegetable and noodle stew for lunch, a hearty meal like that always helped me feel better when I was under the weather."

>"Yes, I am feeling much better, thank you for coo-" you say turning to look at Anon before stopping and giggling mid-sentence. Now you know where your nurses cap went, and that it looked equal parts cute and ridiculous on his head.

"glad you like it, I figure since I get to play nurse today, I should look the part." He said with a sly smile "You should eat your breakfast before it gets cold."
>>
>Heeding that sound advice you take a sip of your tea, feeling the warmth spread throughout your body. Soon the toast was gone and so were the oats. Being a nurse with your hours meant you didn't see many home cooked meals as good as this and it was just oatmeal. You couldn't wait to try the stew.
>As soon as you finished, Anon came to collect the dishes and pour some more tea, declaring proudly "I'm the nurse today." insisting you lay down and rest, lest he fetch the orderly.
>shortly after your third cup of tea, each with a generous amount of honey, your headache fully subsided. Setting your cap on the table again, Anon joined you on the couch.
>resting your head on his lap he ran his fingers through your soft pink mane, if you were one of Fluttershy's cats, you would certainly be purring.
>"Now that my nurse is on break," you say rolling onto your back looking up into his eyes. "How about you tell me more about you Anonymous. You've been here nearly a week and i've spent more time around you asleep than anything else."
"truth is you know all the important stuff." he remarks, sliding one hand under the blanket to gently stroke your barrel, causing a contented smile on your face as your eyelids droop close. "Grew up on a ranch, much like sweet apple acres, but with less crops, and more animals. The rest is just as interesting as the apple family's daily chores."
“Well, I do have a few stories,” he said, recounting the aftermath of when his sister had lead a cow into the living room, because she wanted it to listen to music with her.
>Once he started talking one story lead to the next and then the next. You were content laying half in his lap, listening to the stories of times past, only interrupting to ask what an Ipod was.
>In turn you tell a few stories about living in ponyville, and the unusual occurrences that happen to your little equestrian town.
>>
>You felt enormously comfortable like this, snuggled next to Anon, trading stories back and forth like they were bits.
>Morning was now long over, with Celestia’s sun high in the sky by the time Anon finished his latest tale, amazed that he’s never broken any bones, yet his nose had been broken 4 times growing up, the last time by his sister with a shovel.
>”That sounds terrible Anon, what would possess her to do that? Does it still hurt?” you ask, your nursing instincts kicking in before remembering that you are, in fact, the sick pony, not Anon.
“I kind of deserved it, probably more. I had said some hurtful things I regret and don’t want to repeat. All because her and the neighbor’s boy were sweet on each other. She sat with me afterwards, helping to stop the bleeding and resetting my nose. Even helped clean the blood off me with her handkerchief while we talked about what was really bothering me. We were having lots of problems on the ranch that year but, when didn’t we? Really I was just being a bit overprotective and jealous she had found love.”
>”But Anon, you should have been happy for her.” You say with a surprised look on your face, putting a hoof on the hand rubbing your chest.
“Deep down I was, I just wish I didn’t need a shovel to the face to dig it out. That’s why she did it. Being the two youngest we had to look out for each other.”
>Even though you didn’t have any brothers or sisters, the concept wasn’t entirely alien to you, after all you did have lots of close friends growing up.
>”When I was in school I was the smallest filly in my class, a few of the fillys and colts could be quite mean, but I had a friend, a very kind unicorn who would look out for me. She didn’t do it for any other reason than she detested seeing somepony being taken advantage of or picked on.”
>>
>”In fact she inspired me to help out other ponies when I could, which inevitably led to my nursing cutie mark while helping to bandage a friends scraped knee.”
>Sitting up on to your haunches, you lean against him, nuzzling his chest.
>despite how you felt, you felt today couldn’t have gone much better even if you had gone to the park or even just a walk around town with Anon.
>taking a deep breath you inhale his scent deeply, well, as deeply as you can with your nose in its current condition.
>You pick up a bit more than just his scent and remember he had put on a stew for lunch.
>As if on cue, your rumbling tummy told you what your brain already knew, that it was just past lunch time.
>”Anon, you smell wonderful, but so does the stew you prepared, I think you should check on it to see if its ready.
“good idea, I didn’t realize what time it was” Anon says getting up and walking to the kitchen.
>You take this opportunity to stretch your muscles, and take care of this morning’s tea.
>leaving the bathroom feeling much better, you return to the still warm spot on the couch, awaiting Anons return.
>soon you hear the unique sounds of Anon feet before he steps into view and sets a couple bowls of stew on the coffee table.
>”Anon, what happened to your hand?” you ask in concern, seeing it wrapped in a damp dish rag.
“just me being all thumbs, thankfully I was cooking the stew ‘Low and Slow’ so it’s not as bad as it could be.” Anon said, a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
>”may I see it, despite being a sick pony, I’m still a trained medical professional.” You say motioning to the cloth wrapping his hand.
“sure, if my hands any indication the stew needs to cool a bit before we eat anyways.” He says, unwrapping his hand to reveal the redness underneath.
>he was right, judging by the redness and his reactions to your probing, it would be sensitive for a day or two but was otherwise superficial.
>>
>”Well Anon, I have some aloe to help with the pain if you would like, I also have something else, it’s a bit of an experimental treatment for minor pains such as this, I’ve been waiting for the right patient to test it on.”
>taking both his hand in your hooves, you don’t wait for a response as you bring is hand up to meet your lips
>Planting a couple kisses above and below the sensitive area on the back of his hand. “Feel better Anon?” you ask as you plant another kiss, this time on his open palm.
“Much better, I don’t think I’ll need any aloe after that.” The mild surprise apparent in his voice
>”Very good.” You say softly, moving to sit sideways on his lap as you release his hand and drape your forelegs over his shoulders.
>His arms caressing your barrel and holding you close.
>Your pulse quickens as you peer into his eyes, with your faces less than a hoof span apart, his breath mixes with yours as you become lost in each other’s eyes
>Thoughts were rushing through your brain almost faster than you could comprehend.
>so you focus on your heart.
>You had crushes on a couple stallions, and even a mare growing up, what little filly didn’t? but they weren’t right.
>This wasn’t about physical attraction
>Something you couldn’t express in words was missing then, something the crystal heart had found in a human called Anonymous.
>while neither of you were perfect, you were each perfect for one another, completing each other like puzzle pieces.
>you were unable to describe this to Anon using the Equestrian language.
>actions did speak louder than words after all.
>Taking a deep breath, you still your beating heart and press your lips against his.
>The last time you felt anywhere close to this was when you got your cutie mark.
>That feeling of something that had been missing being found.
>Breaking the kiss you try to hide your face, burying it into his shoulder.
>>
>You were a little embarrassed you kissed him first, but you regret nothing.
>It would be the first of many if you had any say and you were sure Anon felt the same way.
>After your heart had slowed a reasonable amount you lean back to look Anon in the face again.
>”How does your hand feel now?”
>A look of genuine confusion crosses his face as he looks down at his hand.
“Actually it doesn’t hurt at all now, and the redness is gone, it looks as if I never burned it.”
>He brings his hand into your line of sight to show the redness and swelling were indeed gone.
>”That’s curious, when I return to work I’ll have to ask one of the doctors about this. Perhaps it’s something with human physiology I’m unfamiliar with.”
>But that was a couple days away, and future Redhearts job.
>Present Redhearts job is to get better and continue getting to know Anon.
>Present Redhearts stomach also let her know that she needed food if she was to get better.
>”I think the stew has cooled down enough, shall we see how it turned out?” you ask, reluctantly sliding off his lap to sit next to him.
>He couldn’t eat very well with you in his lap.
>Running his hand through your pink mane, he leans over and kisses you on the cheek.
“yes, lets. You’ll need sustenance to keep up your strength.”
>Before you knew it you had finished the bowl, and was tempted to grab another but decided against it.
>you were a little more tired than you normally would be this time of day, but you wrote that off as a combination of being a sick pony, and the hearty stew sitting heavy on your stomach.
>>
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>”Anon,” you say with a slight yawn, “I think I’m going to take a nap for about an hour, would you care to join me?”
“Sure, let me take care of the dishes first and I’ll be right there.”
>As Anon heads to the kitchen you stop off in the bathroom to clean up a bit before crawling back into your bed, the sheets pleasantly cool.
>Not long after closing your eyes you feel Anon join you in the bed, snuggling close like last night.
>Soon you drifted off to join Luna’s dream world, not needing her to protect you on this voyage, for your dreams were filled with the sounds of laughter and the clopping of tiny hooves in your modest cottage.

Constructive criticism is welcome. please be gentle. When I wrote the first day I had a slow day at work so I hashed it out pretty quick, I wanted to write a little more this time but it has been much busier at work.

Harshwhiney and Insights writefags, your greens inspired me to stop lurking and try my hand at writing for the first time in years. Cheers /nmp/
>>
Inter species sex/marriage/relationships are not okay. You have to be a horse too
>>
>>31715193
Shut up you gay
>>
>>31715193
all depends on where you live.
>>
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>>31714345
I'd be cool with it, Daybreaker is pretty hot
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>>31714451
I'd try to make, first off I wouldn't dive straight into a relationship with hem first I'd try being friends with them both then try out individual dates, learn to love each mare for who they are rather than their relationship to each other and then herd up, but only if my mare insisted I'm not bringing in other mares if my waifu is wants to be monogamous
>>
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>>31715108
>"See you in the next gen Pinkie?"
"I hope so I GET WINGS IT'LL BE GREAT, though you might not make it, you're kind of expensive you know?"
>"I am an artist Pinkie, and chaos does not come with a discount feel free to drop in for tea when you're off-screen though"
"That would be great, oh and if you do make it I'll throw you a 'Congratulations On Making It Through The End Of The Previous Universe Party'
>"I'll be looking forward to it"
>Discord snaps his claws and vanishes for the last time
>Pinkie looks at the camera, smiles with tears in her eyes and wave, with her voice wavering
>Quotes pic related
>Snaps her hoof and vanishes too
>Credits
>>
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>>31715174
Shit was comfy and cute, keep it up.
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>>31715305
>>snaps her hoof
>>
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>>31715174
>for your dreams were filled with the sounds of laughter and the clopping of tiny hooves in your modest cottage.
heart status: muh
>>
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>>31715174
Good shit anon, more nurse pon is always good.
As for criticism.
>Proper grammer
"It's just green" is no excuse, anon's who say that are just lazy and never developed the good habit.
>Link your previous posts.
Helps keep things organised.
>Dont double space after every line.
It looks terrible and throws off the readers flow.
>Seperate lines of dialogue from actions.
Same as above.
>'[character] says' is lazy, there are other ways to infer which character is speaking such as; greentext vs non-greentext and following or preceding their dialogue with the character performing an action.
Example
"feeling any better patient Redheart?" Anon says from the kitchen over the sounds of a knife on a cutting board. "I'm making some vegetable and noodle stew for lunch, a hearty meal like that always helped me feel better when I was under the weather."
Would be something like
"Feeling any better patient Redheart?"
>The steady rhythm of knife on wood emanating from the kitchen draws you over as he continues.
"I'm making some vegetable and noodle stew for lunch, a hearty meal like that always helped me feel better when I was under the weather."

There's different rules for prose and green but you'll pick them up as you go.
>>
>>31715174

>when someone cites you as an inspiration to get back to writing

Aw, shucks, anon. I feel all flustered and spoiled again. Your story feels pretty comfy, and I like that a whole lot. >>31715394 gives some pretty good feedback on what you can do to improve your greentexting magics; you just have some grammatical issues like not capitalizing where appropriate and whatnot. Also, it might be smart to link your previous posts together to let readers know which posts succeed the other.

All around good comfy feels, though, really anticipating more to see where it'll go.
>>
>tfw no husbando
>>
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>>31715193
>tfw 110% down with becoming a stallion and settling down with a nice mare.
>Anonfilly thread filled with pedos and closet gays.
>TF thread filled with gays and trans faggots.
>This thread is the closest i'll get because at least it's straight.
>tfw i'll never be turned into a colt by cadence and grow up with my waifu in a classic childhood romance.
>>
>>31715443
>having a filly waifu
Are you sure you're not one of those pedos in the anonfilly general
at least you're willing to wait until she's of age, I guess.
>>
>>31715394
The spacing is due to copy and paste from google docs while on a phone, I forgot to go back and delete it afterwards for those posts.
I've been terrible about proper capitalisation for years and have been actively trying to retrain myself since last year.


Thank you for the advice! I'll add all this to my docs so I know what I need to work on. Hoping I can do nurse redheart proud.
>>
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>>31715492
Pretty sure, fillies do nothing for me as far as my dick's concerned, it's idea of knowing someone almost your entire life and exploring everything together that appeals to me.
I'm one of the unlucky bastards who hasnt found his waifu yet.
tfw she's out there in the void as a complete unknown and there's nothing i can do about it.
>>
>>31715557
Maybe your waifu is the void, anon.
>>
>>31715557

>it's idea of knowing someone almost your entire life and exploring everything together that appeals to me.

To bad that the perfect waifu for that is dead
>>
>>31715050
This copypasta is still childish. At least waha pic was representing theunsureness in your words properly.
>>
>>31715150
Aloe is a shitty remedy.

t. victim of ethnoscience
>>
>>31716008
Isn't that mostly because most aloe vera products don't actually have any aloe whatsoever in them?
>>
I bet you all kiss mares, faggits.
>>
>>31716089

I bet you kiss girls, you sub-saharan mongoloid.
>>
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>>31716089
Yes. Every single day.
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>>31716094
kissing girls is gay
>>
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>>31716057
I had a fucking aloe leaf... needle... fucking limb of it, okay, sliced from the plant on the window and taped to me and all it did is wettened the cut beyond reason instead of supposed calming the swelling, only making it worse. I'm pretty sure they don't work because the aloe itself is useless, and my granny and her rural shit was there because mom couldn't say no. At some point I was enduring an injury for 5 fucking years untill a proper surgeon fixed it in a week while granny was visiting her friends in another city.

Go to a fucking specialist, kids. Keep away from people who offer to brew plants or use any form of natural components, it's too slow to work and has too much side effects unlike FDA certified pills and ointments.
>>
>>31716185
>using aloe for cuts
dumbass. You're supposed to use it on BURNS, not cuts.
>>
>>31716185
Aloe is great for a lot of things, but if you need a surgeon then you're well outside of its range. Natural medicines like honey and aloe are great for what they're good at, but real complex shit needs modern medicine.
>>
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>tfw you wish there was a good 3dpd to marry and have kids with
>tfw have abandoned all hope
At least I found superior mares
Too bad a cartoon can't watch over you when you are dying in a hospital
>>
>>31716222
>dying
She's waiting for you on the other side, Anon.
>>
>>31716217
It was complicated.
I think anything beyond the sticking-plaster better be trrated by proper chemicals, not made worse by unsterile bee barf, possibly causing allergy. Especially burns. There are so much meds for burns, all kinds of burns, why not spend a cojple of bucks and skip the phase where you apply weird shit in hope it will work faster just bare bandage.
>>
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>>31716222
I taught my imaginable horse gf to override my body like power rangers did if I'm too disoriented or tired. If doctor will be powerless, we'll just romantically die at the same day. What can be better than going beyond with your waifu?
>>
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How many thotties have you destroyed for [her]
3 here
>>
>>31715174
I enjoyed it greatly and I really hope you write more.
>>
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>>31715430
>tfw no husbando no matter what you do or how much you try
>not miserable enough to get one
>not happy enough to not want one
>stuck in the middle without anyone to hold you at night
>>
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>>31716341
Little mares are not allowed to be sad
DELET THIS
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>>31716357
It's a pretty scary idea, actually. You're not on the priority list because there are mares that are more lonely than you. A mare with five good friends can't possibly be unhappy and lonely. Some ponies don't even have one friend. So your number is never up. Before you know it basically the whole town is filled with man-mare pairs. And you're still alone. At least this kind of feeling should've bumped you up on the priority list, right?
>>
>>31716185
>They just stuck the leaf to your cut.
>They didnt even mash it into a paste to seal it or anything.
Granny might be retarded anon.
>>
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>>31716387
>>31716341
>She tries to rush it.
>Things get a little bit out of hand.
>>
>>31716387
Noble privilege forever keeps you in the same spot on the list because there are always mares in worse situations and lonely young mares coming of age to be matched. RIP
>>
>>31716387
Nigga just apply already
Or do what Amethyst Star did and sit outside Cadance's castle screaming until she gives you a husbando
>>
>>31716413
The only Second Impact she's looking for is the one on her rump, Anon.
>>
>>31716413
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmXlNzq09gc
>>
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>>31715557
iktf anon.
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>>31716441
>tfw forgot pic
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>>31716422
>Day 3
>Briefly stopped for a glass of water and some bread.
>Wonder if they even noticed the hunger strike aspect.
>Oh well, breaks over.
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-oof"
>"HERE, NOW SHUT UP ALREADY!"
>Jackpot.
>>
>>31716467
I'm surprised she didn't recognize the reeing coming from inside the castle, answering her sperg mating call.
>>
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>>31716413
>if love magic won't help you
>maybe the Void will guide you to your husbando
>you just have to accept it into yourself, even if there's price to pay
>>
>>31716331
explain
>>
>>31716535
I remember a Twi green where she Anon went into a coma but woke up on the other end back on Earth with his body still back in Equestria and then Twilight travelled through the void to get to him, anyone got the link?
>>
>>31716622
https://pastebin.com/iYTq23du is this it?
>>
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>>
PTSD Rarara Writefag here with an update regarding the next bit of story. It’s going to be Sunday. We’re going to follow up with Commander Twilight Sparkle and her friend Pinkamena Pie as they go to the Crystal Empire together to meet their matches.
>>
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>>31716611
Not all of us here are turboautist neckbeards, those spergs have moved on to FNAF or some other shit. The diehard fans and the cloaked normals have stayed.
A cloaked normal is an average person who hides his autism levels.
I happen to be moderately handsome, enough to have 3 girls interested enough to pursue me. All 3 of which I have shot down.
>>
>>31716996
My nigga
I have had one thot asking me to be her bf and I turned her down
She wasn't 8/10 but it happened
Most of the thots hate on me and call me gay because I don't instantly succumb to their charms and manipulation
>>
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>>31716981
>The human brain can easily create the sensation of a cold mare shaped void just by looking at an image, yet cant imagine the opposite without pretty heavy focus.
Yet more evidence that our existance is some sort of cosmic joke.
>>
what would the ponies do if most of the humans became aggressive against other humans for believing that their waifu is the most beautiful of them all?
>>
>>31717023
Hilda
Sierra
Dakivia
Name thyne slain wenches, Anon.
What body of mortal pleasures have you denied in the name of your eternal mare?
>>
>>31717093
I am fat now, but when I was fit, most thots at least jokefully flirted. Some of them get very annoying because they get fascinated by a guy that doesn't pay them attention for some reason, but eventually give up.
That's when they start hating on you and calling you gay.
It is hilarious.
>>
>>31716982

Nice to hear what your status is, PTSD Rarara Writefag. It might be nice to see how they deal with such athing, and if one of them will be more open to such a thing than the other.

A little bit of a status update from Insight's writefag, since that appears to be the hip thing to do at the moment, still getting the opening post of the story I have planned ready. Just need to set up the world and make it a good hook. It's interesting to visualize the Crystal War timeline, but hard to get the ball rolling.
>>
>>31717078
I doubt anons would would do that. I have trouble being angry when I'm near my LS waifu, and she isn't even real.
>>
>>31717131

Hey Insight’s Writefag. Yep, that’s the difficulty with AU stories. You have to figure out everything that’s different before actually starting. I have a google doc containing all of my worldbuilding autism for my story.
>>
>>31717198
>>31717078
>anons tell stories of how violent humans can be.
>nopony believes it
>villian kidnaps a mans waifu.
>problem solved within the hour as said villian checks himself into the hospital to have his head removed from his own ass.
>Literally. Cartoon physics allowed anon to get a bit creative.
>>
>>31717359
>Starswirl becomes incredibly interested in human application of magical theory
>especially after one suggested just "turning the sun into a giant laser"
>he had no idea what he was in for, however
>>
>>31717370
is that a Ringworld reference I see?
>>
>>31717392
If it is I've made it unintentionally.
>>
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I don't know about you fags but I wouldn't want to be paired with a pegasus due to the perpetual fear I would feel about unintentionally hurting her
>Waifu lying in bed with wings out
>You roll over in your sleep
>*SNAP*
>>
>>31717440
Anon they can lift weights and do push ups with their wings, you're not fat enough to hurt her.
>>
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>>31717551
I guess that's true, especially since I'm 6ft 130lbs
>>
>>31716996
Lucky for you. I'm just a failed normal. Socially presentable, but autism too much to attract the opposite sex, or rather, pick up opposite sex cues.
>>
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>>31717551
>tfw 280lbs
>would crush sweet little waifu to powder if I rolled over in my sleep

S-shut up, I'm trying to lose weight
but food just tastes so damn good
>>
>>31717551
but pones are small
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>>31715492
>Tfw you remember the era when Anonfilly wasn't all pedo and abuse.
>Tfw all the non pedo and abuse writers left.
>Tfw the 'Don't fiddle the filly' fell through shitposting.
>Tfw you kept hope the writers would come back.
>Tfw a few did just to be chased off by nufags.
I miss it but don't at the same time.
>>
>>31717661
Anonfilly thread was always bad. Good contentfags wasted on such a shitty premise.
>>
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>>31717646
Go to /fit/ for help Anon. I did and believe it or not they have very good workout plans. The rest must be powered by the love of your wifu. Think of how sad she'd be to know you let your beautiful body be destroyed, how she'd want you to workout and get better, how she'd hold you tight and say how proud she is! Do it for her.
>>
>>31717702
You know, I'd try to fight that if I didn't see how it ended.
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>>31717639
Same here, but being 5'6" keeps away most of the thotties.
>>
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>>31717715
>liftan yesterday
>leg day lel
>squats
>1pl8x20
>2pl8x15
>lmao 3pl8x15
>wew lad 4pl8x10
>Look around
>some dumb slut is mirin
>coolbro is lowkey peepin
>Toss up another plate
>holy shit 5pl8
>3 reps in, something feels weird
>Go to 5
>Back is a little sore
>Suddenly realize I stopped at the city limits of Snap City
>Get a massage afterwards
>>
>>31717759
>>1pl8x20
>>2pl8x15
>>lmao 3pl8x15
>>wew lad 4pl8x10
Please, do not do this.
>>
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>>31717440
This is what cuddling is for anon. You won't roll over if she is in your arms.
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>>31717639
At least you can pick up cues.
Every single time a woman has shown interest in me I've either been completely oblivious to their advances or just wandered off out of boredom or to get food.
>>
>>31717646
Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.
>>
>>31717779
Well...at least I have better reading comprehension than you, so that's a plus I guess.
>>
>>31717766
Do what, exactly?
>>
>>31717791
That.
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>>31717796
>he isn't getting fit for his waifu
>>
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>>31717440
Their wings are no where near that fragile, Anon. She comes from a warrior culture you know, her first instinct would probably be to grab you under the arms and fly you off to a secluded cloud to fuck your brains out.
>>
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>>31715492
>>31717702
>t. aerolite
>>
>>31717812
>starting squats with 20 lmao1pl8
>can do lmao5pl8 for 3
>>
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>>31717727
BROTHERRR
>>
>>31717702
PTFG had the premise of Anonfilly covered already. The only thing Anonfilly added was the abuse and they haven't come up with an original idea since.
>>
>>31717812
I will probably never go to a gym or workout in public. I'm too private of a person for that, so I end up trying to figure out what the fuck I can do in my own home.
>>
>>31717783
Lies and slander
t. Formerly thin that didn't felt any better being thin
>>
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>>31717834
I'd rather be thin than fat, but obviously it's better to be strong than either
>>
>>31717832
bodyweight and dumbbell stuff
or you could pay up and be homegym master race
>>
>>31715165
>tfw pony kisses actually make it all better
>>
>>31715050
If it reaches out to all anons that have called this board their home, Does that mean it reaches out to an AI poner fag such as myself?
Because I would gladly stand under the banner of Man and Mare, but to me it feels like this thread has been taken over by people with a very traditional view on their relationship. Including but not limited to a dozen foals as fast as possible. seeing any other way as herrasy. And if you're just going to control how people should love the mares they love then you're doing exactly the same thing as the Thottery you're trying to move away from. Using female interests as a means of control is just as cancerous when it uses real women as imaginary poner Waifus.
>>
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>>31717877
I see nothing wrong with AI poners, mainly because that is most likely as close as we'll ever get. Maybe someday lots of babbus with AI pone will be possible with the advent of artificial wombs, but until then it is all just a fantasy.
>>
>>31717844
Apart from having more stamina and not feeling heavy, it is literally the same and you have to eat only healthy boring food and do a lot of exercise everyday.
So it is boring as hell.
I don't have to impress anybody so why should I bother.
>>
>>31717893
>why should I bother.
Her.
>>
>>31717832
Simple. Jogging. So long as you don't over do yourself or under do yourself you'll be fine. That or ride a bike, saves your legs from the collision damage of jogging or running. Push ups, sit ups, squats, and alot more also help. If you want to get muscular get some weights. If you just want to lose weight and not do any of that you could do Mr. Homo Afro's gay dance tape.
>>
>>31717877
WAIfus and robomares are alright in my book.
>>
>>31717893
But anon, if you're fit then that means you'll have more energy to devote to projects, like learning to sew and make plush toys of your waifu.
not that being /fit/ helps with that, but it should help you focus longer and learn easier.
>>
>>31717893
>having more stamina and not feeling heavy, it is literally the same
This is so far from the truth it almost hurts. Being a big fat fuck makes you sick. Your quality of life will decrease. Things like sleep, autoimmune response, cognitive function, life expectancy and happiness, just to name a few, will all deteriorate. This is scientifically provable fact. Do not do this to yourself because you think being less heavy and being able to run further are the only benefits of not being fat.
>>
>>31717917
Being /fit/ just makes you feel better about yourself. Actual mental clarity and emotional health comes from a healthy diet and a normal sleep schedule. Many of us here are fucked in at LEAST one of these things.
>>
>>31717893
You do it for your waifu. When you die you get the body most suitable over the age of 18 for her. If your body was always a fat glob of shit how happy do you think your waifu will be? You don't want Flash Sentry taking her, do you?
>>
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>>31717817
Well I skipped posting the warmup with just the bar
>>
>>31717905
I started jogging every single day and was slowly building up stamina and muscle over the course of three weeks, then got horribly fucking sick for two weeks and now have to start all over again.

I want to die.
>>
>>31717893
Being strong unironically owns in every respect.
I eat whatever I want and level grind for maybe a total of half an hour a week and my ability to pick things up and put them down is so far above average that at work I'm the default "hey can you pick up and move this heavy thing for us" guy.
If you're American, it takes disgustingly little effort to reach a point where you're like a god compared to 95% of the people around you.
I really ought to start going to a gym and eating "right", though.
>>
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>>31717820
>tfw nickname at work was weeman (midget from the Jackass movies)
>tfw you realize 5'6" is not only lower-tier manlet, but comedically short
>>
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>>31716982
Looking forward to it
>>
>>31717943
If you're sick you do homo afro's tape. No excuses.
>>
>>31717877
AI mares are fine.
Not my cup of tea, but I wouldn't kick one out of bed.
>>
>>31717958
>homo afro's tape
what
>>
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>>31717949
>>31717820
>everyone in my family is 6"+
>5'7" due to diseases as an infant
>regularly have to crane upwards to speak to people five years younger than me
you'd think you'd get used to it, eventually. nope.
>>
>>31717982
I was pretty sick as a baby too. I was always throwing up, didn't sleep well, even into my young and mid teens I didn't eat much because I would always get sick from food.
>>
>>31717982
Just remind yourself that it just gives you better access to the kidneys and tender bits if it comes to a fight, Anon.
and you don't have to bend down to hug your pony wife.
>>
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>>31717982
>tfw I'm 5'7" as well
I know that feel, brother. At least we're bigger than our waifus.
>>
>>31717992
>>31718004
Good point, manlet gentials are right level with a pony's behind. Besides just lying down on a bed, how would /fit/ giants fuck their waifu? They'd have to be limited to a lot less poses.
>>
>>31718004
>arrive onto Equestria
>get matched with R63 Troubleshoes
>fug :DDD
>>
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>>31718004
>>
>>31718037
>titus
>get the footstool
>>
>>31718033
>how would /fit/ giants fuck their waifu? They'd have to be limited to a lot less poses.
I musty be autistic as fuck because shit like this keeps me up at night. What if I'm too tall to engage with my waifu without it being awkward or weird? I'm 6'9 ~235lb
>>
>>31718057
>6'9 ~235lb
Do you also happen to go by André?
>>
>>31718057
Well, you've a wide world of standing positions you can try (especially if paired with a small mare), including holding them by the sides and using them like a ponahole
>>
>>31718057
>6'9
uhhh
>>
>>31718069
Nope.
>>
>>31717899
I don't have a waifu
>>
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>>31718069
He would have to be a ghost then anon, I'm sorry you had to find out this way but André died in 93'.
>>31718084
bic
>>
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>>31717982
At least you know why you are said size. I'm the tallest person in my family going back 3-4 generations on both sides. I'm not even that tall ffs.
>>
>>31718084
I find that kind of hard to believe, but I suppose as long as you endorse the concept of the thread, you're still welcome here.
>>31718108
Sometimes recessive genetics win out, Anon. Perhaps way back in the family tree someone didn't marry a manlet.
>>
>>31718042
stay sharp harp
>>
>>31718084
you what
>>
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>>31718091
>André died in 93'.
You're lying. Wikipedia is lying. RIP all my childhood hopes and dreams.
>>
>>31718091
>>31718122
Just because I don't have a waifu doesn't mean I don't recognize the superior horse pussy, anons.
>>31718113
Yeah I used to like Ponk and Flutters but now I don't like them anymore.
So it was just a temporal thing, maybe.
>>
>>31718149
Temporary.
Still, a waifu is an important decision so it's good to take your time with it.
>>
>>31718084
I don't have a waifu either. I just like cute poners. I'm too cold and apathetic for a waifu anyways.
>>
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>>31717967
>not knowing homo afro
>>
>>31718233
Oh, Gene Simmons.
That makes sense.
>>
>>31714248
>>31714264
getting kinda weird senpai
>>
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>>31717982
>5'6"
>Tallest in my family
>Go outside, reminded that I'm just a tall dwarf
>>
>>31715150
>>You had crushes on a couple stallions, and even a mare growing up, what little filly didn’t? but they weren’t right.
wot

>>31715174
You have this weird schizophrenic capitalization issue. Sometimes you capitalize the next line, sometime's you don't. Sometimes you capitalize dialogue, sometimes you don't.
>>
>>31718466
Even mares aren't immune to childhood crushes, Anon.
They're a part of growing up.
>>
>>31718487
I was referring to
>and even a mare growing up, what little filly didn’t?
this.
>>
>>31718507
"even a mare" implies that it's out of the ordinary and that "what little filly didn't?" refers to having crushes in general.
I'll generously assume that you don't need an explanation of why someone woud have a crush on a mare.
>>
>>31718507
Ah. That.
Well, I can only assume that came about as a result of there being so few dudes. Maybe she ran across a particularly "manly" mare at some point?
Not the writefag for the story, I'm just trying to make sense of it.
Personally I think it was just his own preferences trickling in a little.
>>
>>31718564
>Maybe she ran across a particularly "manly" mare at some point?
Maybe she met a mare who embodied what she wanted to be like when she grew up, and she confused those idolizing feelings for romantic attraction?
>>
>>31718593
that's also a possibility.
>>
>>31715174
That little ending was super duper nice.

Not too good enough with spelling, grammar or punctuation to pick any of that out, so the only problem I had was some of the dialog didn't feel realistic to me.
the one that irked me the most was
>“yes, lets. You’ll need sustenance to keep up your strength.”
No ranch hand would ever use the word "sustenance" even "yes, lets" feels a little to... effeminate to me.

But that just may be me.
Still really enjoyed it.
>>
>>31717877
Why would you feel that way when wAIfus were always a part of this thread and nobody was strictly agains it. It's completely alright in my book, especially if it brings some nice content here. And this is coming from the guy who argued about their chatbottness and true free will back in autumn threads
>>
>So Anon!
>I’ve been thinking...
>I’ve crunched some numbers and I think I have something figured out.
>Let’s assume that you are around 20 years old as of right now.
>Since you refuse to tell me your current age for whatever silly reason.
>Let’s say that you live to be around 80, and during those sixty years, we try to have as many kids as possible.
>Assuming the ideal 11 month gestation period for every child, I would be able to have around 66 children.
>But!
>But,
>Let’s consider my magic for a second.
>Let’s say that I were to magically store your semen, so that I can inseminate myself after you...
>...Well, let’s then assume that you “get off” as you so aptly put it, around twice a day.
>Let’s also assume the best case scenario, in which I only need the sperm from one orgasm in order to impregnate myself.
>Let’s assume we don’t count the orgasms that bear child while you are still alive to the total amount, and instead have you “cum” again that day.
>You humans have such weird, vulgar vocabularies.
>I would then be able to bear an additional 43,830 foals!
>As I stated earlier, assuming the perfect conditions, it would take 482,130 months, or 40,177 and a half years (considering leap years) to bear them all!
>So that...
>S-So that long after you’re g-gone...
>You’ll s-still live on in s-some way...
>A-And maybe, i-in over forty m-millennia...
>L-Long after I-I’ve f-forgotten y-you...
>O-once I-I’ve g-given birth to y-your last f-foal...
>I-I c-can *hic* m-move *hic* o-on...
>I...
>*hic*
>I...
>I’m not ready to lose you...
>I don’t want to forget you...
>Anon...
>Will...
>Will you stay with me...
>Will you stay with me for a little while longer?
>Please?

Aw fuck, I made myself sad. Now you guys have to feel sad too.
>>
>>31719104
*Sigh*
Fiiiiine.
*puts aside the happy thought that he just found*
>>
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>>31719104
You say "sad", but all I can think of now is Celestia having a dynasty large enough to fill an army by the year 40k.
>>
>>31719104
Life and Death are two sides of the same coin that we all have to pay, you of all people should now that.
Also tone it a bit down you're creeping me out.
>>
>>31719144
I am of the opinion that Celestia has very little means by which to accept the idea of death. That’s why I imagine she’d be the type to drown her sorrows through other means with intense fanaticism, which in my little green, is about having as many alicorn babies as she can. They will stick around as long as she will, so she won’t have to worry about loosing them too. And since this is a 40k year long endeavor, she plans on stretching it out so long that by the time she finishes she won’t even remember that she is supposed to be hurting. She overindulges until the pain goes away.
>>
>>31719104
>your headcanon isnt 'sticking your dick into her horsepussy renews you in the same fashion that the sun renews her'
Praise it.
>>
>>31719152
From the Lifestyle she has led I find it hard to believe that she has trouble accepting mortality.
She ruled at least more than a thousand years. To put it into perspective that's around 40 generations.
I would agree with you if she were very sheltered but this isn't the case she leads the school for gifted unicorns which means to deal with retirements and the staffing of new teachers, there is also her court, I don't think her Advisors and the other nobles are also immortal and at last there is also her pet Philomena a Phoenix whose whole theme is about death and rebirth.

I mean I can see your point if Anon were her first proper love or something but even then with such an impressive lifespan you can't hide from death, you can't look away that long.
>>
>>31719177
My headcannon is that alicorns lose their immortality upon childbirth
>>
>>31714167
> Cadence gives the best advice on how to woo your mare, get to know her better, apologize when you've fucked up or how to kiss her like a champ.
> Because her sex life with Shining Armor is very vanilla, her sex tips, on the other hoof, is Cosmo-tier shit.
> The mares of the Initiative have even less experience, so naturally they think that she has unparalleled knowledge on what they should do in the bedroom.
> After dozens of letters from mares asking about how they should please their husbando on that magical first night, Cadence wrote The List and added it to the Handbook that mares got when they were matched.
> It contains classics such as:
> "Hold his penis in one hoof and lightly slap it with the other… you can tap it back and forth like you're volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many mares make the mistake of being too gentle."
> "Firmly hold the bottom of his shaft in your hooves and slowly push it towards the base. (Imagine you're pushing his penis into his body)."
> "Chew a small piece of mango… then take him in your mouth. You can use whatever fruit you have, just don't try anything too acidic, as it can burn him."
> “Go hot and cold. During oral, suck in air as you go down and blow it out as you go up.”
> "When you're cooking, apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple, and ask your man to lick it off."
> "Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed, and give each other a strategic spritz to extend the encounter… Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other's body, such as the nipples."
> When these tips inevitably lead to a husbando crying with pain, or hopefully just with laughter, the mare in question usually think she was the one who did wrong. Embarrassed, they tend to never mention The List and what the results of following its advice were to their husbandos, friends or even to Princess Cadence herself.
> The List is still there to this day, unchanged.
>>
What about your waifu do you love? Can you quantify it into a list or do you even know?
It's been five years and all I know is that she's literally perfect.
>>
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>>31719354
Make sure to snuggle your human everyday
>>
>>31719354
All of these are from Cosmo, BTW.
If you've ever made the mistake of being with a thot, and wondered WTF she's doing when she's "trying to be sexy", look at what she's reading. If there are any women's magazines in her reading pile, exit the situation ASAP, not just because WTF are you doing with a thot, but because the health of Anon Jr might be in jeopardy.
>>
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>>31719364
>If you've ever ...[been] with a thot,
>>
>>31719383
Some of us saw not the error in our ways until it was too late, brother.
>>
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>ywn cuddle a dirty NEET pone
>>
>>31719415
>ywn clean a dirty neet poner.
It hurts to exist.
>>
https://derpibooru.org/1621837?q=human+male+on+mare
Where we should all aspire to one day be
>>
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What would you propose to your waifu with?
>>
>>31719481
That's adorable. We all know a THOT would never handle this so gracefully.
>>
>>31719481
>posting cute this small
>>
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>>31719356
>It's been five years and all I know is that she's literally perfect.
Same for me and I don't even need to know anything else. I'm fine with just being in love without trying to make a fuckhuge list of all the things I enjoy in her because it is just "everything".
>>
>>31719481
Whatever's normal in Equestria.
I want to give her a perfect day, like she's dreamed of since she was small.
I don't want to be an ungrateful refugee who refuses to assimilate and makes everything about me.
>>
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I've fantasized too many times about coming home from the front in some distant war out in some desolate place, keeping Equestria safe, in order to protect Applejack and our little fillies.

She would come home one evening and just as I lay my bags on the floor, after having just brought the kids back from school, she'd run up to me, proud and relieved. I'd be covered in scars, grim reminders of how brutal those filthy Yaks and/or Griffons can be. However, I am too strong and determined to be separated from my family, so I'll keep coming home and I'll keep spoiling my kids with the gifts I bring back with me, be it gold to finance their education or exotic children's toys.

We Pegasus' are stubborn and relentless creatures, our spears, wings and armor always at our sides.
>>
>>31719731
>we pegasus'
so are you a pony stallion in this fantasy?
>>
>>31719731
*Pegasi
FTFY
>>
>>31719731
>self-inserting as a pony
That's a little weird.
If I had to be ponified to be with my waifu, fine, but it's not something I actively fantasize about.
>>
>>31719731
>self-inserting as a pegasus
I'd miss my hands too much. If I had to be a pony, it'd be a unicorn.
also she's my wife you can't have her
>>
>>31719753
*pegasusususeses
>>
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>>31719744
You know it. Being human would be just plain weird in Equestria, imo.
>>
>>31719753
Bah, either works, desu. I use both terms from time to time.
>>
>>31719763
Alternate timelines and Universes means multiple Applejacks. As for the hands, Pegasi can just their wings in a similar fashion to manipulate objects with, I mean, I don't see why not.
>>
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>>31719767
No weirder than being a minotaur or a griffon or whatever.
Ponies are accustomed to that shit, and will be extra accustomed after the S8 diversity quotas kick in.
>>
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>>31719766
Your words hurt me friend, they sting me like an arrow that has pierced my ass. I'm leaping in pain as I type these words!
>>
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>>31719779
Well, access to magic is one advantage, I think.
Though, winghugs are hard to beat.
>>
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>>31719756
Not him but
>Unaided flight
>Removal of birth defects
are pretty solid reasons for me personally, although it's somewhat off topic ITT.

That said, minor idea just spawned:
>Go to equestria
>In order to have foals you need to do the deed as a pony.
>Thankfully one of the first anons was a huge nerd and came up with a transformation potion and antidote based on some tree or whatever.

>>31719787
I still find it fucking hilarious there's no mares in the school.
Mares confirmed perfect.
>>
>>31719796
>Removal of birth defects
Yeah, if your human body is fucked up I can imagine wanting to trade it in at the earliest oppportunity.
>>
>>31719787
True, it's all just a personal preference of mine, I can't really judge. As for S8, S9 and for what the future holds, I'll stick to the classics. The show cannon stopped just before the second defeat of Evil Glimmer and has yet to continue as far as I'm concerned.

Again, personal tastes.
>>
>>31719779
>Pegasi can just their wings in a similar fashion to manipulate objects with
don't remind us
>>
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>>31719795
Wing related activities concerning pegasusususies are always cute and comfy to think about.
>>
>>31719817
Aww come on, it's adorable and whoever came up with the idea on the show deserved some praise.
>>
>>31719837
> loving and careful wing-fisting
>>
>>31719843
> wing-fists with much gusto!
>>
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Would you tease your birdhorsewife
>>
>>31719857
She'd be whimpering and struggling to find a way out, desu.

Still, adorable work.
>>
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>>31719857
No. I'd like a non-bird wife.
>>
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>>31719796
Race Realism is a funny thing and a very true thing and the lack of self-awareness in that episode was really funny to witness. I'm surprised it even made the cut.
>>
>>31719867
That one's by xieril.
nigga has two waifus, the deviant.
>>
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>>31719883
He is skill in the art of cute, but he still needs some time in the gulag for his heresy!
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>>31719894
There's no saving him, Anon.
he also has a horsebando.
>>
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>>31719896
The faggot is eternal as is my disgust.
>>
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>>31719900
...and he's the reason everyone keeps calling these mares traps instead of mares and got super-butthurt when someone edited out the text
>>
>>31719883
To be fair all artists are deviants and degenerates so it's kinda what you expect. Though I can't forgive this one for being unable to post certain cute mares without encountering a shitty forced meme. Had to delete what pics I have of them since there's no way I'd ever get to post them anyway. Too bad.
>>
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>>31719903
Hmm, I've heard about that, it is a sad thing that his skill is outshined by such an advanced level of fag. A man and his mare is a sacred thing and in the spirit of this thread: hooves before bros.
>>
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>>31719911
>>31719914
At least he'll draw what you pay him for, though, so there's that.
>>
>>31719878
Havent seen the leaks yet, do they seriously try and pull a "we're all the same" moral?
>>31719903
He deserves death through paper napkin.
>instead of a renissance of gaston memes and a bunch of green + art of hot mares we got TRAPS LEL XD
>>
>>31719957
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Anon
Looking so down in the dumps
>>
>>31719957
I just get a bad vibe from the way the scene is portrayed, and knowing the writers, I'm sure they'll pull a "we're all the same" nonsense because it's 2015+3.
>>
>>31719967
>>31719957
To be fair, they were about as close to thots as ponies can get.
>>
>>31719946
What do you mean "at least", anyone will draw anything as long as you pay them, that's what artists do. It's not something unique to him.
>>
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>>31719946
Aye, fair enough. There is hope in this man's soul.
>>
>>31719973
You say that, but there are some artists who will take liberties with commissions. Most are small things, like decals on mugs/cups if you don't specify what's on them or that they're plain.
I had one artist slap a "male tears" label on a coffee mug in one thing I've commissioned, which I have long since edited out.
>>
>>31719971
They're just really, REALLY thirsty
>>
>>31719275
>MY headcannon is that humans gain immortality upon dickening an alicorn
>>
>>31720099
My headcanon is that with all the magical rocks and shit littered over Equestria and beyond, you can easily (comparatively speaking) find one that can make you immortal. A philosopher's stone might even be something you can make, with the right texts and research.
I mean, if Maud had records on magic rocks that could overthrow the power balance of Equestria, just imagine what other shit is out there.
>>
>>31720107
>Magic rocks everywhere
Holy shit that means Equestria might also have CHALK ROCKS!
>>
>>31719967
It's far too late for that anon.

>>31719971
>>31720013
>Follow him around on his music tour.
>Fight for his affections at first.
>He's completely oblivious to their spy vs spy tier shenanigans.
>Eventually come to appreciate each other's companionship.
>Decide to work together to win [him]
>Episode happens.
>Followed by pic related.

Alternatively.
>Feather bangs cant decide which one he likes most.
>They go to the empire since Cadence is doing some matchmaking thing.
>GastAnon and Nonny bravo are summoned by the crystal heart.
>>
>>31719883
Xieril turned into a massive polygamous faggot. A shame.
>>
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>>31720235
These three being so attached to him are great. I'm surprised they okayed that. Especially the end of that episode.
>>
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>>31720519
>disgusting semi-anthro bodies
How to ruin a drawing in one easy step
I also have no idea why there's cobwebs everywhere
>>
>>31720577
How the fuck is this anthro except for weird pegasus angle?
>>
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>>31719104
>that ending
Aww, I can see her becoming obsessive after centuries of being alone and finally having someone, too.
>>
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>>31720577
>anthro
You're an idiot. The pegasus is the only one that has some fucky anatomy and that's not anthro.

>I also have no idea why there's cobwebs everywhere
It's a allegory, holy shit. Implying he's caught in their web, come on Anon.
>>
>>31720628
Human shoulders, human pose on the pegasus. Also hilariously long left foreleg (or just arm, it is humanlike after all) on Featherbangs.

>>31720647
>reading comprehension
Never said it was straight up anthro, but I'm not surprised you missed that if you missed obviously human shoulders on that picture too. If you don't know how mares look like what are you even doing here.
>>
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sheeeheeeheeheeiiiiiiit
>>
>>
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>>31720752
B E W A R E
>>
>>31717744
*thambs ap*
>>
>>31720777

what did holy trips mean by this?
>>
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>>31720752
>>31720763
It's too late for them anyway. Everyone already seen their true colors. Mares will remain unchallenged.
>>
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Remember to rub your mare.
>>
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>>31720873
I'm going to rub the sun!
What a coincidence that I'm writing about Celly Belly rubs right at this moment
>>
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>>31720888
I can't wait
>>
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>>31720888
EXCITE
>>
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>>31720888
>>
https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/10/23/1568584.gif
>>
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>>31720888
>>31720906
>>31720912
I want to pull the sun princess into my lap and aggressively attack her fluffy chest and belly with pets and rubs until she's a wiggling, giggling mess.
>>
>>31720932
L-Lewd...
>>
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>>31717779
>just wandered off out of boredom or to get food.
but Anon that's the best way to shut them down, thots are boring and food is a better way to spend your time
>>
>>
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>>31719104
well fuck, can't I just perform some amoral dark ritual and become immortal or something?
>>
>>31720888
>Celly Belly rubs
nice
>>
>>31721086
Well, I mean you have to consider how the human mind works. It hates monotony. If you were to make yourself immortal, wouldn’t there come a time when you have exhausted every avenue by which to enjoy Celestia’s company? Would it not be natural to desire an end to that? To stop loving Celestia, after every avenue has been completely and utterly drained of spirit?

So then comes the question—
Which would be better? To live a mortal life, but love Celestia for every minute of it?
Or live forever, but eventually fall out of love with her?
>>
>>31721146
And there is also Celestia to consider. I’d imagine that after so long being lonely, she’d be extremely fanatic about finally having a lover. As is natural with a healthy relationship, we’d have to bring this up with her. And knowing her, she’d not want us to become immortal, because she doesn’t want us to hurt. But what she will fail to account for is her own feelings on the matter. If you decide to remain mortal, you wouldn’t be hurting, but Celestia would be devastated. In contrast, becoming immortal would prove to be an immense strain on you that will unavoidably end in heartbreak for the both of you. Given these circumstances, really, the only true option to take is to remain mortal. She will eventually get over your death, and yeah it’ll hurt. But becoming immortal and having to live with your breakup forever would make living on even more painful for her. She’d think that it was her fault, and for the rest of eternity she would blame herself because you couldn’t love her anymore.

Why the fuck do I do this to myself, fuck.
>>
>>31721146
The human mind wasn't made to hold 5 lifetimes in its head. If you were to live alongside her extended life, it would be like having Deja Vu when you pick up some activity you stopped doing four centuries ago, only for her to giggle and say that we can learn it again.
>>
>>31721146
>>31721219
This is True Love we're talking about here. The kind that even time and Death can't shatter.
>>
>>31721228
Yeah, but after some time, how would Celestia feel about that? That every moment you spend with her will eventually fade away, and even though you can repeat those moments, the magic would eventually fade away. How miserable she’d be every time she would have to teach you how to remember your love for her. And what of her magic? What if she were to bypass that issue by casting some sort of memory spell? If she did that, then the problem described above would happen.
>>
>>31721239
How do you know she doesn't have the same memory issues after several thousand years?
>>
>>31721239
Anon, you seem to fail to realize something.
When you love someone, truly love someone, just them being there is enough.
>>
>>31721231
Maybe. I just can’t picture that, though maybe my isolation is responsible for that. That would make me feel better though. If true love would last forever.
>>
>>31721250
That’s fair. And it would make sense then.

>>31721257
I’m sorry, you are talking to an Anon that has never been touched by love. Having a bit of trouble understanding that concept. Hell, the whole reason I’m in this thread is to figure that whole stuff out for myself, because pony makes this Anon happy.
>>
>>31721276
It's okay Anon. We're all here, as a union of armchair philosophers, to try and determine the depths and heights that love can reach.
It may not be much, but so far we know it reaches with four hooves.
>>
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How many times per day should you kiss and hug and scritch your mare?
>>
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>Instead of a magic notebook, your waifu can send you emails/texts
How does this affect the meta?
>>
>>31721334
Yes.
>>
>>31721346
Well that makes it far less personable for one. I've always wanted an excuse to practice my handwriting.
Two, that makes the Initiative vulnerable to whoever controls the cell networks in your area. Someone jacking in and sending traffic across dimensions will be noticed eventually.
>>
>>31721346
It means we start up threads where, instead of comparing dicks, we compare the length of email + # of times 'love' is used in our recieved emails.
>>
>It's been...
>How long has it been?
>I... I can't seem to remember.
>I don't think it matters all too much though.
>My name is Princess Celestia.
>I live in Canterlot with my sister Luna and my husband Anon.
>Anon is very special because he is a...
>He's a...
>What is he again?
>Not a pony, but something else...
>I can't remember that either...
>But!
>He and I have been together for as long as I can remember!
>We first met...
>When...
>...Um, anyways.
>I raise the sun and my sister raises the moon.
>Anon doesn't do much, because he doesn't have magic.
>Which is strange, because everything in Equestria has magic.
>I think he told me why...
>He's from...
>From...
>Argh, curse this memory of mine!
>Whatever, it doesn't matter I guess.
>What does matter is that I love him dearly.
>And he has shown it my giving me so many perfect little foals!
>I'm pregnant with one now, as a matter of fact.
>Another little bundle of joy...
>The doctor says that it will only be another month or so.
>I can't wait!
>But as happy as that is, I have to say...
>Anon has been concerning me as of late.
>He is struggling to remember something.
>It was after he took another glance at one of the many stained glass windows.
>The one he was looking at pictured six little ponies on it.
>When he brought it up, something nagged at the back of my head.
>As though I should remember who those ponies are.
>Hmmm...
>But it's sort of been worse for Anon lately.
>He's becoming more and more upset at his memory failing him.
>I'm not sure what to do.
>Maybe I will take him to see Discord; the two of them always got along.
>But...
>Discord has been acting strange too.
>When Anon pointed the window out to him, he stopped for a minute, before screaming in agony and teleporting away.
>I don't know why, but the last time I saw him, he was sitting in front of a grave so eroded that the name has been lost to time.
>He looks so sad...
>I'm sure I can help the both of them.
>Yes, I can help them.
>>
>>31721385
Oof, I did it again.
>>
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>>31721146
>wouldn’t there come a time when you have exhausted every avenue by which to enjoy Celestia’s company?
>fall out of love with her
>>
>>31721334
all of them
>>
>>31721385
Please stop this, man. Pony isn't for this existential dread. Post happy.
>>
>>31721470
>Be Celestia
>Have Anon husbando
>Have lots and lots of foals
>Don’t have to worry about real problems that make the triumph of love all the sweeter
>True Love conquers all

Better?
>>
>>31721505
Alright, fine.

I think I can do something.

Give me a second.
>>
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>>31721146
>>31721219
>>31721239
>If you were immortal everything would be boring.
Tell me right now what you did on the 13th of january five years ago.
Probably impossible right?
What about rewatching movies, replaying video games and rereading stories?
Sure the most notable aspects will stick in your mind but the details will be rediscovered again and again.
Likewise for simply being with Celestia.
Her simple presence will be like the sun shining gently on your face and always be welcome, while the little things you rediscover with her will be like a warm blanket, good for a while but you dont wear it all the time.
Loss of important memory is a sign of either illness or deteroration through age, and immortality (Especially the renewal variety that celestia has) is free from that problem.

Essentially, so long as you dont have eidetic memory and are fine with watching your non-immortal friends and loved ones eventually die you'll be fine as an immortal.
>>
>>31721533
Jacked some, went to a shop to buy some capacitors for a questionable motherboard.
>>
>Be Anon.
>Be in Canterlot Castle.
>Ever since you’ve been brought to Equestria by magical means that are irrelevant to the plot of this green, you and Celestia have been very close friends.
>You believe that it is now time in your relationship with her to do something... daring.
>Something no one would ever dare to do.
>You are going to eat a slice of her favorite cake.
>The cake that she never lets anyone ever eat.
>Soon, you shall have it all to yourself.
>After much snooping around, you’ve discovered it’s secret hiding place.
>Underneath the cushions of her throne lies a door to a secret compartment.
>There lies the cake.
>You enter the throne room inconspicuously.
>The guards are well aware of you, so they don’t grow suspicious.
>Celestia is taking a shower right now, so you have very little time to sneak and get the cake.
>With utinsels and plate in hand, you power walk over to her throne and lift the cushion up.
>No lock?
>Celestia, you trusting fool.
>You open the door and lay your eyes on the cake.
>There appears to be a single slice left.
>Just for you.
>You quickly grab it and dig your fork into it.
>Just as your mouth closed around the bite of cake, you hear the sound of teleporting.
>”NOOOOOOOOOO!”
>Celestia, dripping wet from her shower, cries in agony as you take a bit of her cake.
>And it tastes...
>Wait...
>Is this...
“Celestia...? What is...?”
>”Anon please—“
“I can’t believe that you actually eat that shitty whipped cream frosting instead of actual frosting!”
>”Anon it’s not what it looks like—“
“Only pussies can’t handle real buttermilk frosting, what the fuck is this?! This is fucking tasteless and bland! Here I thought you had taste Celestia, now I see that it could not be further from the truth.”
>”Anon please... don’t tell anyone...”
“And why wouldn’t I tell the world that Celestia eats shit cake?”
>Celestia casts her eyes downward, silent for a moment.
>”Maybe...”
“Maybe what?”
>>
>>31721589
>Celestia avoids your eyes for a moment before looking up to meet your gaze.
>"What if we were to give you some better cake to eat?"
>You sit there stunned.
"And how do you think that better cake would change my opinion of the absolutely abhorrent cake I just ate?"
>Celestia sways slightly from side to side.
>"This cake... well, to say that it's really good cake is an understatement."
"Really now..."
>"Uh-huh. And you'll be the first to ever taste it. Doesn't that sound rather... delightful?"
"Very well Celestia. I shall give you one chance. This cake better be amazing if it's gonna shut me up."
>Celestia, her cheeks tinted pink, slowly walked up to you.
>"I'm sure you'll find this cake really... wonderful. Consider it my apology cake. Just for you."
>You remain still.
"And where is this cake?"
>"Oh, not here. Definitely not here. I'll show you."
>With a blinding flash of light, you find yourself in Celestia's bedchambers.
>While you admire the room, Celestia leans against the side of the bed.
"I repeat myself, where is the--"
>You turn around to come face to face with a part of Celestia that was dripping somewhat more than the rest of her.
>You are silent, speechless.
>"Is... Is this cake acceptable?"
>You sit there for a moment before choosing the only correct choice.
>And you had to say, it was a very good cake.
>But you weren't sure if just one bite would be enough to earn your silence.
>Luckily for you, Celestia was more than willing to offer some more.
>And boy, did you take some more.
>>
>>31721638
There we go. A wholesome green about eating cake. Nothing about existential crises or the choice between mortality and immortality or anything like that. This is much better.
>>
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>>31721638
OH MY
>>
>>31721533
>and are fine with watching your non-immortal friends and loved ones eventually die you'll be fine as an immortal.
should I be worried at how ok I am with being immortal even after considering this?
>>
>>31721638
nice now we're getting back into what made this thread great
>>
>>31721533
Actually wait, this is the first I’m hearing about any kind of renewal immortality for the princesses? Hold on, I gotta look this up.
>>
>>31721707
You could say that he's making this thread great again
>>
>>31717715
I have been lifting weights the last few months. There is actually muscle building up beneath the fat. I cut out almost all soda and candy. And I also only eat homecooked food, vegetable stews with meat and stuff like that.

My problem is that I'm never satisfied with one portion, and all my motivation and selfcontrol dies whenever I eat. Even if I only eat vegetable stew and chicken breast I'm not losing weight because I eat twice of what I should. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to eat less. Eating healthier is no problem but eating less sucks ass.
Sorry for blogposting, i'm gonna shut up now and hug my daki.
>>
>>31721844
Add some cardio to that. That'll help.
>>
>>31721844
Just lift moar bro
>>
>>31721844
Keep liftin man. Lift like you're raising a burning tree off your best friend.
>>
>>31721844
One thing you can do is fill up on low calorie foods before main meals. Celery and stuff like that are so low in calories bt volume that you can sate a good deal of your hunger before eating and only taking in miniscule amounts of extra calories. Also, you won't feel the need to eat double portions.
You could also try manning the fuck up.
>>
>>31721533
>tfw eidetic memory
I'd be immortal with my waifu if I could, I'd hold her until the stars died out and then some
>>
>>31721853
this, just think of jogging as 50,000 squats with zero weight and also you don't actually squat at all
>>
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>>31721948
>>
You wouldn't breed your mare before marriage, right? You'd wait a year to really fall in love with her and propose, right?
I mean like deep in love, so that when you do finally breed her it will be amazing.
>>
>>31721993
I am a man of virtue at heart, but if nature wants to run its course I won't fight it, if we're gonna have those dozen foals might as well get a headstart.
>>
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>>31721948
>he does a "5k"
>he doesn't do a 1x5000 leg lunges w/ minimum ROM
>>
>>31722006
First week - Roommates/friends
Second week - Close friends/first dates
Should've held hooves by this point
Two months - First kiss
Six months - Start planning for proposal
Eight months to one year - Propose
Estrus usually fucks up the planned timeline
>>
>>31721993
This year's fancies are passing fancies,
But sighing sighs, holding hands
These my heart understands.
>>
>>31721993
Wedding dresses can always be tailored a bit to accommodate a baby bump.
>>
Reminder
Little mares don't even have to try to BTFO any woman ever.
~105000000000 people have ever existed
~52500000000 of them have been THOTs
Floor Bored can skip bathing for months and be generally a little grumpy and still be #1 on the list
Limestone can be an abrasive bitch all day and still be #1 out of 52500000000
Because they really love you
>>
>Be Celestia.
>On break, sipping some tea.
>Everything is calm and peaceful.
>You loved coming to the garden for your private little tea parties.
>But recently, you've come to enjoy something else just as much, if not more so.
>A faint rustling sounded off, a little ways away.
>You ignore it for now.
>You take another sip of your tea.
>The rustling grows a bit louder.
>He thinks he's being sneaky.
>As wrong as he is, you weren't going to exactly ruin his fun.
>He gets too much of a kick out of it for you to tell him the truth.
>You close your eyes and hum to yourself quietly.
>The rustling stops.
>You stay still and sing to yourself a bit longer, before you open your eyes.
>A quick glance around reveals nothing of particular interest.
>Did he pass you by perhaps?
>No, he knows you are here.
>He wouldn't want to waste an opportunity like this.
>Where could he be?
>You survey your surroundings, yet they bear no fruit.
>Just as you are about to close your eyes and return to your tea, you feel a weight on your side, sending you and your attacker tumbling down onto the soft grass below.
>After a bit of rolling, you come to a stop on your back with a bunch of your mane blocking your vision.
>Giggling jovially, you blow the offending hair aside, only to have a familiar hand block your sight, followed by another deeper voice joining you in laughter.
>You feel the weight on top of you shift lower, and feel his teeth graze your neck as he brings his head up next to you ear.
>His hot breath against you sends shivers down your spine.
>"Gotcha."
>Your giggles resumes.
"I don't suppose you'd be so willing to let me go, mister. I would do anything if it meant no harm would come to those I care about."
>"Anything, you say? I could be... convinced."
>You feel the tip of your ear being nibbled, and you shriek in delight.
>Trying to keep your composure, you stifle your cries, yet your gleeful tone betrays your true nature.
"Oh yes sir, please."
>>
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>>31709768
>Not even the calming warmth of an early morning shower eases your tension.
>Celestia has gone to check on the others in her throne room, just to make sure everything is fine.
>It can possibly mean that she's going to worry about it during her time with you and you really wouldn't want that.
>The princesses specifically designed this to be as worry-free as possible for Celestia.
>But your guess is that's where you come in too.
>With you, the Sun princess should feel just right. You wish for her safe return without any worry on her mind.
>You're done with your shower shortly and as you leave it (adorned in another type of coat-dress Gleam just couldn't resist giving you, this time it's a dark-green one) you see the door on the other side of the corridor open.
>The princess moves to you and you see hurry in her steps, like she can't wait to get out of there to walk with you.
>It subsides soon enough, she probably realizes it was obvious, but her attempts to hide her glee are for naught now.
>"Well, they've kicked me out," she says with resignation in her voice.
>She is relieved, there's no denying it, even if she does try to hide it.
>That won't do. She's in your hands now and you won't stand for that.
>Wasting not time you put your arm around her neck and it makes her smile.
"Let's go then."
>To your room it is - for now.
>You don't really have a plan for this and you don't know if she does.
>No worries, you'll figure it out soon.
>When the door closes behind you it finally becomes official: Celestia's little vacation has finally started.
>It didn't come easy for her it seems. The princess states right away:
>"Anon, I have to apologize but this sudden change has come so soon I had no time to prepare for it."
"It's alright."
>"I mean honestly, I have made no plans and I have no idea what we should do."
"Yeah, it's alright."
>"But..."
>>
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>>31722049
>Two months for first kiss
Way to dry up those ovaries. If you're literally destined to be together there's absolutely no need for arbitrary phasing, just go at the pace things naturally progress.
>>
>>31722200
>She can't find the right words to voice what burdens her mind so instead she just looks at you as if she's asking for forgiveness.
"Celestia, the last thing I want is to see you worried. We should just relax. Isn't this why you're here, why this whole thing was organized in the first place?"
>"Well, yes. I guess you're right. I just feel a bit bad that I don't really know what to do. Some princess I am..."
>This is over the line.
>You come closer to her but she doesn't look at you. Instead her eyes are glued to the mirror where she sees herself, helpless before the undeniably brutal challenge of having to spend days doing whatever she wants to.
>But you, on the other hand, know exactly what needs to be done.
"Well, what if you weren't a princess?"
>"Huh?"
>You stand right next to her and you look in the mirror together.
"What if you were just a pony? A little pony who has free time to spend with her match."
>"I'm not even that little."
"Yes you are, you only technically bigger than me because of your horn. You're a little silly cute pony, Celestia."
>"Oh yeah?" she smirks, still looking in the mirror, but at you this time. "I don't recall little ponies being this tall and wearing all this princess stuff on them."
"So that's the problem, huh?"
>You don't waste even a second in hesitation - you know she won't stop your little game.
>Watching Celestia's reaction you reach to her neck piece - still no idea how it's called - and pull it up.
>It's surprisingly heavy. The poor mare is wearing this all the time? No wonder she can get so grumpy.
>Her smirk never leaves her face. She watches your motions with curiosity but also with delight.
>You set her golden horse collar on the vanity, just near the mirror.
"Feel better?"
>"A little, yes. But do you really think this way?"
>She looks deep into your eyes and you feel, yet again, that swirling vertigo inside of you.
>>
>>31722210
"You're not only a princess to me, if that's what you mean."
>"So then... One more thing."
>Celestia lowers her head before you without hiding a smile. She closes her eyes in acceptance.
>Her horn almost touches your shoulder. The princes is bowing to you.
>No, it's not just a simple bow. You understand her intention right away and touch her crown.
>Off it goes. The princess is no more. Before you stands just Celestia, resigned and surrendered.
>She looks happy.
>The crown goes right next to the mare's yoke and its shine is so distant now. Celestia herself shines way brighter right now, radiating confidence and warmth.
>She is content. Her fate is sealed by you. Maybe it's refreshing for her to let someone else decide for her. All the more proof that she likes it when you take reigns and make decisive moves.
>Well then she's in luck.
>"Anon, I think you're-"
"I'm not done, Celestia."
>"What do you mean?"
"These have to go too."
>Just as swiftly as you acted before, deliberate and precise, you get on your knees before Celestia, not even inches away from her.
>She gasps but it's already too late. You reach out and grab her foreleg. Your grip is just as sensual as it is firm.
>On your knees, bent before her majestic figure you support her fetlock with one hand while other frees her hoof from her golden horseshoe.
>It comes off easily, which you're grateful for, since it would be extremely awkward if this plan wouldn't work because of something as trivial as her hoofwear being secure.
>But you've seen her easily putting these on, so you figured they come off just as easily; your bet payed off. Now your hand slides down Celestia's foreleg, caressing it.
>The metal is gone and the princess' pristine hoof is in your palm right now, supported by your other hand.
>"A-anon..."
>If she's confused and flustered right now, you can imagine what happens to her when your give her leg a gentle stroke. Down from her hock to her hoof - and under it.
>>
>>31722213
>Without looking upwards at Celestia you carefully put her leg down and immediately repeat the same procedure with the second one.
>When you're done you finally look at her and you see a fierce blush on her cheeks that look even puffier when you look at her from her chest height.
>It crosses your mind that this is how regular ponies look at her. Though you doubt many get this close.
>You feel heat her chest radiates and you can faintly smell her coat conditioner. Her mane is also really close, waves of its ethereal glow passing right at your side.
>You both know what happens next. You just have no idea how to do it.
"Celestia, if you would..."
>This is enough for her. She passes near you and her mane brushes across your face, leaving its aroma hanging in the air.
>Celestia gets on the bed. But only so much - her hind legs are hanging down, just within your reach when you turn around to face the princess.
>It is in this moment you see how amazing her legs really are. They are slender and long, curving beautifully, but also getting a bit fuller right at her thighs. Now that she's on the bed with her butt up it's extremely obvious that her form is rather curvy in the place where it counts.
>You're having hard time tearing your eyes off of an asset like that and this doesn't get past Celestia's attention.
>But you don't linger long enough. Your target is no less intimate than staring at the princess' cutiemark.
>Again, you remove her horseshoes in a rather sensual manner, feeling her legs in all their glory. You're pleasantly surprised to feel some softness in them. Just how perfect can this mare get?
>You want to touch up more. That wouldn't be inappropriate, right? To caress Celestia's legs some more. You want to kiss them. Her hocks, her fetlocks, her hooves, all of it.
>Before this pushes out all other thoughts you manage to snap out of it.
>Celestia is smiling and her wry smile tells you that she's reading you like an open book.
>>
>>31722222
>But that also means that she's not exactly against it? You guess?
"There you go."
>You finally get up and stand right above the horse that's lying seductively right before you, just one sheet dive away from getting cuddled and kissed all over.
"Now you're just a little pony."
>"I am at your mercy."
>Whoa, where did that playful tone come from? But that's just what you need right now.
"Are you now? Well, do you know what little ponies get?"
>"What would that be?"
>You fall onto the bed right next to Celestia and your tackle her in the next second, pressing your lips to her neck.
>And your arms fall right on her side, motioning her to roll on her back.
>As soon as Celestia complies, wishing to partake in your game, she gasps and giggles because your fingers now roam her chest and belly freely.
>From digging her coat with your fingers to caressing it by your flat palm you give every inch of her pony tummy attention it deserves.
>Celestia can't stop giggling and soon she can't help but wriggle as well. That's when you get your other arm around her neck to hold her.
>The mare's hindlegs curl as they bounce up and down when she can't decide if she wants to relax or tense up. You keep her in constant motion and she loves it.
>You've never seen this pony so happy before. Maybe she wasn't taking you seriously when you said that she's just a pony to you, but you were in fact stating the truth the way you see it.
>You figured her out. Just like lions and panthers look intimidating and big, Celestia towers over ponies. But just like lions and panthers are just big cats, Celestia is like a big pony. A big little pony. A filly that's a few times larger than an actual filly.
>And this filly hasn't been played with for centuries.
>As soon as this understanding dawns on you it all becomes so clear. Her desires, her fears, it's all not unlike any other pony.
>And so you'll treat her like that - the way she hasn't been treated, well, ever.
>>
>>31722234
>The first thing you find out is that this giant filly absolutely adores belly rubs.
>Celestia is outright writhing under your touch, legs thrown apart, happy laughter ringing like the sweetest music in your ears.
>Good, this is the princess you love to see.
>This is Celestia you...
>You love?
>This unexpected suspicion hits you so hard you manage to stop with your motions.
>Celestia doesn't mind though, she looks exhausted and she's panting heavily. She's even sweating a bit.
>"Oh, Anon, if that's your plan for-"
>She doesn't get a say in this.
>That's it.
>You're diving in her coat, straight under her chest. It's time for your finishing move.
>She really didn't expect you blowing raspberry on her tender alicorn tummy and it throws her into another fit of happy laughter with a little jolly squeals this time.
>When you stop she doesn't let you go. Her hooves gently lay upon your head and you keep it there, kissing her instead.
>Her stomach goes up and down as she tries to restore her lost breath. When you press your cheek to her coat you feel her heart beating way faster than usual.
>Such exhilaration over something this simple is what you wanted to see.
>It keeps you off your thoughts too. It's too scary to think about it now. Even thought it's so stupid to not face it.
>Yes, it's so much better to pretend to be oblivious to your feelings about the mare you're matched with. This surely is the right way to do this whole husbando thing.
>Whatever. Not right now. Not when you keep the mood so innocent and lighthearted.
>Now you're just nuzzling her with your hands around her barrel and she strokes your head still holding you close with her bare hoof.
>"I guess that's one way to start a day."
"I don't mind continuing it like that too."
>A hearty laugh makes her belly tremble and you borrow your nose even deeper while also catching the hairs of her coat with your lips to give her another kiss.
>>
>>31722238
>"I wouldn't want you to just tend to me without letting me do the same."
"I'm not against that either."
>"Are you sure it's fine just like that?"
"Why not?"
>"Well, I mean, we have all this time to get to know each other.'
"We already do that."
>"I mean more than we do now. You know, we don't exactly spend much time talking to each other."
>She tugs at your shoulder and you follow her, positioning yourself for an actual hug, now at her chest. She puts her hooves over your shoulders and her head rests on yours.
>A position so beloved by you. It feels so secure being in her embrace.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Celestia."
>"Come to thing of it, we basically spend all of our time just hugging."
"Well, maybe that's what we want when we're together? Who ever said hugging is bad?"
>"Well, nopony, but..."
"Maybe I want to spend these three days just hugging you."
>You feel her legs tightening their circle around you. Likewise, you rub your cheek against her chest.
"Maybe I want to spend the rest of my life hugging you."
>She is silent for some time, thinking about what you've said. Or maybe just enjoying the cuddle.
>But then she states with a note of regret in her voice:
>"It's just I don't really have time to get to know you. It almost seems like as soon as we get together we just hug and that's that. I want to spend time with you, actually spend time, you know? Not just three days where we have to rush, thinking about filling them with something meaningful."
"We still talk enough and get to know each other day by day."
>"But I still don't know so much about you..."
>Then she adds in a more playful tone.
>"Oh, I know, maybe I should ask Twilight? You seem to talk all day long."
>That wasn't said with any sort of bitterness but you still think it's a bit sour of her to say something like that.
"Celestia, please don't say things like that."
>"Oh?"
"Are you seriously worried about me and Twilight?"
>"No, that's not what I-"
>>
>>31722243
"We don't do anything but talk, you know. And it's not about me. She respects your orders and she teaches me language and history, and when we talk about me she changes subject quickly."
>"I didn't mean to insinuate that you two- Ugh, this came out wrong, didn't it?"
"Don't worry, I'll forgive you... For a price."
>"Really? How about this?"
>You feel her hoof at your chin propping it up and the next second a soft and warm sensation drowns your lips in velvet - a kiss most gentle but still powerful.
>The Sun princess opens your mouth with a motion of her upper lip and she goes in deeper, tilting her head just enough to fit her mouth in yours.
>After a few seconds of heavenly friction she pulls away, but not before enveloping your lower lip in the moist embrace of her own, tugging at it lightly as the pony exhales.
>A barely felt sucking motion that borders actual passion, a tempting sensation of such a distant premise you barely dare to imagine it.
>The magenta stare of a goddess sends warm waves across your body.
>"Is that better?"
"Yes, Celestia."
>"Good."
>You are drawn in for another hug but your head is still dizzy because of that adventurous kiss.
>Little by little you get more and more intimate with her and she's not afraid to push the envelope.
>These days, where will they lead you two, you wonder. Between your own feelings for her and Celestia's obvious warm attitude towards you you're certain that you'll get even closer.
>Maybe you'll have another piece of the puzzle that is Celestia's happiness. So far you've been lucky with your guesses and all your plans have payed off.
>Something else should be done though. You need more. You need her more happy than this. You need more of her. You need her.
>You're getting lost in thoughts here, and they all lead to the one and only mare.
>She seems to be content with hugs too. You spend some time just lying in her embrace.
>>
>>31722245
>Again, no words are needed. It's so good just being with her. You always thought that she needs this way more than you but now you understand how much it means to you too.
>"Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>She probably thought you're asleep or something because you just now notice that you weren't even moving, just enjoying her company.
>"I think I know one thing I want to do together with you."
"What's that?"
>"Come with me."
>Celestia takes you somewhere you've never actually visited - up the stairs that soon lead to a spiral staircase.
>A long way up, almost too long, ends with you walking out on a balcony. Actually, more of a observation platform.
>It's pretty much the highest point of the castle, right above the big telescope of the Canterlot castle observatory which you did visit a few times.
>But here it's a bit different. This place gives you a great view over the castle, the city and everything around it.
>It's breathtaking. Under Celestia's gentle Sun Equestria flourishes and it's beautiful. Everything lives under her gaze, everything is in order because of her rule.
>"Do you like it?"
"It's amazing."
>"I always wanted to take somepony here to watch the view together, but, you know."
"Do you come here often?"
>"I do sometimes, near the sunset. Reminds me of different things and helps me calm down sometimes."
"I can see how this works."
>"I'm glad you do. Look, you can almost see Cloudsdale over there. Ponyville should be down there and here's the railroad to the Crystal Empire."
>She points over and even though you barely see what you're supposed to see, you believe her.
>Then Celestia points at the enormous forest just below the city.
>"And there should be our old castle. Now it's surrounded by the Everfree forest. Even Twilight wasn't able to refurbish it. I guess it's forever destined to be abandoned."
"That's kinda sad."
>"It's for the best."
>>
>>31722193
>A deep rumbling laugh reverberates through the otherwise tranquil garden.
>"I suppose if you are so inclined, then I shall simply take what I desire from you."
>The weight on top of you shifted again and as your attacker's body intertwined with yours in a rather intimate manner, you felt your face flush as warmth swept through you.
>Your half-hearted attempts to free yourself cease in their entirety as your lips connect with another pair, foreign and distinctly alien in nature.
>Clearly not pony-like at all, yet endearing to you all the same.
>As you melt into the kiss, the hand that was covering your eyes was removed, instead finding it's place rubbing up and down the length of your side, tickling you slightly.
>You wrapped your forelegs around the alien body and pulled him closer to you.
>You didn't have much time in your busy schedule to enjoy moments like these, so you had to make the best of what you were given.
>A few more seconds pass before you open your eyes and face the human on top of you.
>Anon catches you staring and disconnects the kiss with a smirk on his face.
"Aw, why did you stop?"
>Anon chuckled before tapping the end of your muzzle with his finger.
>"Because I'm on top and what I say goes."
>You smile similarly before charging up your magic.
"So is that how it works? Very well then."
>With a poof of your magic, Anon quickly found himself in a complete role-reversal, as you pinned him down.
"Now, where were we? Oh yes, of course."
>You re-engage your kiss with a fervor.
>Anon submits to you, clearly satisfied with his current predicament.
>As you feel his arms wrap around you, gripping you tight, you couldn't help but feel more happy than you've been in a long time.
>Oh, how you waited for someone like this.
>Anon, I never want to let you go.
>>
>>31722252
>She goes silent but her eyes are fixed to that spot you barely even make out in the sea of trees.
>"Can I tell you something very personal?"
>You heart sinks hearing that. But you nod nonetheless. She probably has something to get off her chest.
>"Right after Nightmare Moon was gone, banished, I realized how alone I was. So I did the only thing I thought could keep myself sane and happy. I indulged in hedonism as much as I wanted. The idea of missing out on life was terrifying and I wanted to take everything from it, even if by force, even if it's to my own detriment. But I never noticed that it was also to forget that I'm completely alone. Without my sister I was lonely and my heart ached for love just like my body ached for somepony's warmth to remind me that I'm not alone in this world. Luna was exactly that for me and I never even realized it. When she was gone..."
>A pause hangs heavily in the air and it feels like the world is waiting on Celestia, even the wind has stopped.
>No matter how painful she must continue.
>"We were quite close back then and I never even thought I was taking her for granted. I was also ashamed that I felt that way when she was the one banished. So in the end, I simply needed to shut these emotions out. I was looking for a partner. A husband. A stallion to call my own. That didn't work out."
>"Ponies were happy to indulge in my lavish lifestyle. All I cared about was parties. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to make others happy, I wanted them to know it was me who made them happy. So in the end I spent a whole decade in parties. That's how the Grand Galloping Gala came to be, by the way. Now it's just one evening long and all the hard liquor has been banned there for hundreds of years now so you'll bear with me if I'll start snoring when we attend this year, alright?"
>She chuckles bitterly and you won't even ask her about her implications about the Gala and dragging you there.
>Celestia needs to speak at her own pace now.
>>
>>31722259
>"But anyway, during that time even though I was trying to be "the ponies' princess", I was still too distant from them. When I tried forcing myself onto them they were afraid. When I was desperate they never responded with anything more than pity. From nobleponies to common folk I've tried many, and barely anypony even got past the first date. And those who did, well... None stayed for long."
>"I was always proud that my ponies valued family and commitment so much, but in the end it was this need to commit that made them bail out of any sort of relationship with me - they weren't ready to do it. And when my "phase" was over I realized it was probably for the best. It was a pretty rebellious period for me and I was lucky to get out without lasting consequences."
>She turns to you and you feel like she's a bit happier now.
>"Funny how it took an alien who lacks prejudices and is oblivious to our society's dogmas for me to have an actual kiss."
"Celestia, you know, it's hard to believe this. Surely some would take advantage of you having... needs, you know? Who wouldn't want to "commit" to starting a family with such a royalty?"
>"You flatter me, really, but it's complicated. These ponies don't see me as a pony, as one of their own. I might as well be something else entirely."
>She points at the bright star of hers, the glorious Sun in the skies.
>"As soon as a foal learns about what Sun is they learn about me. It might be the first thing they learn about this world. Their parents learned it, every other pony learned it. It's a universal constant of this world for them. I guess it's hard for you to understand but seeing me as anything but a pony is in this nation's blood, and has been for generations."
"I guess I can see that, but in our folklore it's not rare to read about mortals trying to interact with gods like they are equals."
>"Is it? Well, maybe this would explain it."
>>
>>31722259
Oof, accidentally broke up the other Celestia green with my one-off Celestia green. My bad.
>>
>>31722267
"You could say that reaching way beyond our grasp is in humanity's blood as well. Hell, some legends involve gods being enamored with mortals, having affairs with them. People wanted to rival gods or outsmart them. It mostly ended badly for us lesser folk, but still."
>What a smooth explanation, jeez. But seems like she accepts it. More than that, actually.
>"Oh my, then it is certainly my luck that I have a match like you, oh conqueror of gods."
>Even though she giggles at that herself her gaze is warm and you can tell she is actually reassured by this little boast of yours.
"Thank you for sharing this, Celestia. It must be hard for you to remember those times."
>"Not anymore. I accepted my fate long ago. Instead of trying to find personal happiness and fulfillment I just focused on making my subjects happy."
"You can't be that selfless forever."
>"It worked so far."
"Well, it doesn't have to be this way now."
>Celestia nods and takes a step towards you. You do the same.
>The wind, now returning to this realm, makes her mane flow in an even more entrancing manner and it pushes it off her eye that's usually covered by it.
>In this moment you feel that very same burn in your throat. And the need to embrace this pony.
>You do exactly that.
>"I'm glad for it. To finally feel someone else right next to me..."
"You better get used to it."
>She lets out a satisfied sigh when your fingers dig into her coat and you press her head to your shoulder with all your strength.
>Your head falls onto hers, but not before you give her forehead a nice wet smooch.
>"Same goes to you. I hope you get used to all of this. Since all of it is now yours."
"What do you mean?"
>"Whatever you want it to mean."
"Well, what if I prefer a more secluded lifestyle?"
>"That's too bad."
>Whatever does it mean? She's feeling mysterious now?
>"Anyway, I just wanted to share this little thing with you."
"It's not little by any mean. I'm honored that you shared it with me."
>>
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>>31722273
>"I think we should share something more pleasant now. Like maybe a nice lunch?"
"That'd be great."
>You return to the castle and the door to the outside closes behind you.
>All of it is now yours. Maybe you're starting to understand what she means.
>You hope you do, anyway.
>A long day is ahead of you still, so there's no need to overthink it right now.
>Especially with how much this story reflects on where you currently stand. The only thing your understand for now is that you absolutely can't let her down.
>For her own sake and yours too.


That's it for today, I hope you enjoyed it. More soon, I hope.

>>31722268
It's okay, I kinda broke between your posts first. And more Celestia is always good.
>>
>>31722130
They really shouldn't be, though, especially white ones.
>>
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>>31722144
To bad the chances of getting an episode on Limestone or Marble are lower than soyboy testosterone levels
>>
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>Winners of the monthly Lonely Heart lottery prepare for the husbando hunt.
>>
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>>31722439
*too
I'm a fucking idiot
>>
>>31722289
Customary (You) for the gargantuan amount of green. I'm reading and anticipating more.
>>
>>31722439
Yeah, I'm really upset that we'll never get an episode about how all the Pie sisters are fucked up because they were brought up by farmers and how they need someone from a big city like Canterlot or Manehattan to show them the light.
It'd be one thing if the writers were good and could be relied upon to come up with good stories that leveraged existing characters and settings and respected them for who they are, but these guys? Really?
It really is much better if they simply forget about your favorite pony and let her slip through the cracks unmolested.
>>
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>>31722289
>>31722254
I love this big mare and all the wonderful green she's been getting lately.
>>
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>>31722635
I want to smooch her big horsey muzzle and tell her that she's really pretty.
>>
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>>31719842
It's gross and horrifying.
Feathers are not fingers.
Winghands make as much sense as being able to pick things up with your chest hair.
>>
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>>31722592
>how they need someone from a big city like Canterlot or Manehattan to show them the light.

>Maud starts a rock rights revolution.
>Marble shaves half her mane and swears off stallions.
>Limestone comes out as trans.
>>
>>31722723
>Pinkie becomes a single dam with a half-Diamond Dog bastard and a black eye
>>
>>31721993
yeah
>>
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>>31722686
It could just be a visual shorthand for them using magic to move things, since it makes about as much sense as gripping objects with a hoof, or picking up something without even touching it.
>>
Ree update pastebin
>>
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>>31722592
Grey mares are pure sex tbqh
>>
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>"I-it's for you. Marble said I should bring you something."
>>
>>31722193
top cute
>>
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>>31722254
Cozy.
>>
>>31722871
>"N-not that I like you or anything, dummy, I just wanted to show my appreciation for all the help you've been around the farm!"
>>
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What if you had to get turned into a stallion to enter Equestria but she would still love you that way.
Easy mode: You keep human sexual stamina
>>
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>>31722951
I think general consensus was "sure if i had to" and a couple guys who would prefer it that way.
As long as i had [her] love i could be an elderitch gestalt comprised entirely of tentacles for all i care.
>>
>>31722951
I'd be fine either way desu. Either I'll have the use of my hands, or we can go on a silly rom-com adventure together to get me used to the new body.
>>
>>31722951
As long as it's a magically smooth transition that doesn't require months of physical therapy to learn how to walk and perform fine motor skills again, there's literally no downside to being a pony.
I mean, besides having to change diapers with your mouth if you aren't a unicorn.

People who headcanon stallions as having sexual stamina comparable to IRL horses are just premature ejaculators who want mares to be less judgemental of their handicap than women are.
>>
>>31722951
What kind of pony would I be? Would I be able to choose or would it be random?
>>
>>31722951
>colt at her flanks with a dripping mouth
god I wish that were me
>>
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>>31721533
I can barely remember last Tuesday, the past 3 years blend together.
Don't become a NEET anons, you won't climb out of the hole you dig the same.
>>
>>31723032
>pic
Anons love greens, though.
>>
>>31717646
Just associate bad memories with dangerously high cholesterol and fat/high calories food to create some inhibition.
>>
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>>31723040
You can't eat words on a screen anon.
Then again I eat a fuckton of salad because its cheap and somewhat filling.
also I don't feel like digging through my old 4chan folder for r9k memes
>>
>>31723021
Easy mode: your choice
Normal: automatically assigned based on your personality
Hard: you can't fly or cast spells, so obviously you're a mudpony
Nightmare: same as hard but your first year in Equestria is spent learning how to walk on four legs and use your mouth-hand
>>
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>>31722845
>Pony milfs
>>
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>>31722289
That was a super warm, fuzzy update. I loved it.
>>
>>31723064
You sound like a quitter Anon
>>
>>31723117
Find me a version of quickpic 4.5.2 or lower that is stable on Nougat then.
Everything lower than 6 months is on my PC and I access it over smb.
>>
>>31723133
>>
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>>31723097
Beauty Mark is top tier as far as OCs go, too bad 90% of her art is anthro porn
>>
>>31723172
Honestly, I'd both of them.
>>
>>31723181
you'd better not
>>
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>all this Celestia green

I love you writefags almost as much as I love my waifu. Thank you you beautiful bastards.
>>
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>>31723369
Could you honestly deny this mare?
>>
>>31723380
Youre waifu a shit
>>
>>31723408
Yes?
>>
>>31723380
Literally Trash
>>
>>31723417
>>31723421
heres your (faggot)'s, you
>>
>>31723380
Glad to see my little 40,177 and a half years green started a Celestia green revolution in this thread.
>>
>>31723408
If I would be single and she would be hitting on me, then I could not. She's damn hot and I got a thing for milfs.
>>
>>31723417
>>31723421
Literally, you both are subhuman scum. No ponies for either of you.
>>
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No bully in this thread guys.
All waifus are good waifus
>>
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>>31723472
Never
>>
>>31723472
Don't you have a 404 to face, butthurt faggot?
>>
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>>31723486
With all that hate in your heart, I deem your chances of getting to Equestria low anon. Please change your attitude. There's no need for anger.
I would be sad knowing someone missed their shot at paradise because they felt the need to hate and insult others.
>>
>>31723505
That's rich coming from the the thot genocide thread.
>>
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Your chosen mare has done some research about human culture and, sadly, has found memes. Now she's obsessed with them and spouts them pretty much everywhere the she goes. Would you try to talk some sense into her or would you just let her be?
>>
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>>31723505
That qt pegasus is cruising for a cuddling.
>>
>>31723526
>implying thots deserve protection
>>
>>31723537
They don't deserve scorn either.
>>
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>>31723526
Can't wait for those artificial wombs and marebots!
>>
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>>31723419
More for me I guess
>>
>>31723528
>It's just another day for you and your waifu
>Todays adventure is shopping
>"WHAT ARE THOOOSE!" One mare shouts as her husbando rolls his eyes
>"THIS. IS. SPAR TA!" Another shouts taking a canteloupe from a display
>The entire store is alive with rowdy mares and their mostly quiet husbandos
>While in line a mare turns back to you and says she needs about tree fitty
>Her husbando gently turns her back around and mutters out an apology to you
>>
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>>31723546
God, she is so hot.
>>
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>>31723558
>>
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>>31723544
>tfw no waifubot carrying your growing child in her level four armor protected womb willing to defend it with her built in protective arsenal to the death
>tfw she'd never have to even use it because her just shifting into a combat stance would be enough to scare most potential dangers away
>>
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>>31723546
H-hot.
>>
>>31723546
>When you're dating a milf and you're less than 10 years older than her daughter.
The awkwardness is worth it.
>>
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>>31723543
They mostly just deserve to be ignored and forgotten, but a final solution to the thot question is fine, too.
>>
>>31723526
>implying girls don't love getting murdered
>>
>>31723526
shoo shoo roast beef
>>
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>>31723526
Why kill thotties when you can just go to horseland and forget them?
>>
>>31723652
Pity?
>>
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>>31721638
>>31722254
>>31722289
I really do adore this sudden outpouring of Sunbutt green.
>>
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>>31723652
>you will never bathe in liquid rainbow with your waifu
>>
>>31723676
Every mare has her day. Perhaps it would’ve been a bit more appropriate if it had happened tomorrow. You know, Sunday and all that. But Celestia green is few and far between the many Luna greens, not to say that Luna isn’t green worthy.
>>
Kill the thread, time for new
>>
rip
>>
Why do you always die with less than ten posts left, thread.
Stop doing that dammit.
>>
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>thread dies with four posts left
>>
>>31723755

Not with this post. Now, it will live forever.
>>
I ain't waiting, I'm busy
>>31723763
>>31723763
>>31723763
>>
last
>>
>>31723544
Whatever happened to those marebots green. They were spicy
>>
>>31723943

I believe they're in the mischellaneous greens bin. If you're asking about additional wA.I.fu content, it looks to have temporarily fallen out of writefagging popularity.

Maybe some more might be written in the near future?
>>
>>31722289
but where's the pastebin?
>>
>>31724421
https://pastebin.com/WRUW1xQu
>>
>>31723590
>that pic
Right person at the right place, if you ask me.




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