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Almost Got Caught Fooling Around With Your Cousin Edition

I Got Hay Stuck In My Ass Crack Sub-Edition

Last Thread: >>31847877

General Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/pTAqfjD6
>>
>>31880357
Ah, that new thread smell...
>Tfw no big titty goth sis
>>
>wanted to start off thread with nice appul
>OP beats me to the punch
What the hell am I supposed to do now? You tell me, anonymous.
>>
>>31880373
Post more appul friendo. Can't go wrong with more appul.
>>
>>31880357
>Ywn have a tumble in the hay with your sexy cousin.
>Ywn have the rest of the family ask why you both had hay stuck everywhere.
>Ywn both awkwardly look away, flushed and give an unconvincing lie they actually buy.
>>
>>31880371
I'd rather a small titty goth sis like >pic.
>>
>tfw no weird sister who talks to you through seashells with eyes glued on them
>>
>>31881010
I didn’t know I needed this.

Can someone please make this a thing?
>>
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>>31881010
Just noticed
>Queen Novo has the blackest voice out of anyone I've seen in MLP
>Refuses to help
>Husband left
>Can't raise a child for shit
>>
>>31878420
>Just like...
Just like what? JUST LIKE WHAT?

>>31879354
Sonata is pulling some serious moves on Anon.
>>
>>31880357
>Tfw too late to give these to kirko
>>
>>31881173
Go visit him in /nmp/. He even bins his story, that fruit.
>>
>>31881185
Nah he hates the loli thread now.
>>
>>31881192
A loli thread with a distinct lack of lolis.
>>
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>I actually managed to get myself sick and there's no cute niece to keep me company...
MFW
>>
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>>31881225
Now you have to get so ill they come to you in your feverish dream
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>>31881185
>>
>>31881277
That doesn't sound half bad...
>>
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>>31881393
What a little twat
>>
>>31881225
>>31881277
>tfw you just slowly waste away from sickness all alone
its too real
>>
>>31881452
I think she is just super repressed that her mom is dang nice that she can't compare and has some major mother issues.
>>
Does anyone else here actually have an incest fetish because of IRL family?
>every single aunt on both sides of the family is bangin
>little cousin that reminds me of scootaloo
It’s fucking suffering, anons.
>>
>>31881810
>tfw all your cousins married chads
>>
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>>31881642
> no little cousin to make you eat those awful pills and stroke your head understandingly
> nobody to worry for you untill you feel better
> nobody to thank for all this care and hot chicken soup
There's gonna be something to stop this madness
>>
>>31881010
>you'll love Oyster Lucy!
I love this character. but she should be drawn skinnier and longernecked. I need my bubbly Candace Flynn water horse birb horse
>>
>>31881810
no real incest but cousins absolutely to the max 100%
>>
>>31881906
Guess I'll just take a bunch of painkillers and hope for sweet dreams.
>>
>>31881810
I had an adopted cousin about three years older than me flash me her vag when I was around 12.
>>
>>31882011
hot.
>>
>>31881995
>Guess I'll just take a bunch of painkillers and hope for sweet dreams.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMFqkcPYcg
>>
>>31881810
No, but every day I imagine how I could kill mine. Not sure why I like this place so much. Appleposter is nice though.
>>31881906
Its called a Hollow point 45, take one and wait to see the light.
>>
>>31882216
I swallowed three but the light does not come, should I take more?
>>
>>31882261
At this point consider upgrading to homemade Dragon Breath rounds, and see if the fire can cleanse you.
>>
>>31882275
> Dragon Breath rounds
They look like they're hard to swallow and biting pieces off seems hard as well.
>>
>>31882261
Those were supposed to be suppositories anon
>>
>>31882011
Care to share more Anon?
>>
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>>31882104
>>31882455
She wanted me to literally fuck her with a spoon, but she got caught by my OTHER adopted cousin, who was her sister, and she panicked.
All around it was a massive clusterfuck.
>>
>>31882621
dat's cute. sorry you got caught
>>
>>31882739
But I don't own a swimsuit...
>>
>>31882739

>Ignore sister for her friends the whole day
>then comfort with cuddles all night
>>
>>31882749
That's devious, anon.
>>
>>31882744
>"Well, I guess we could all go au naturel if that makes you feel better "
>>
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>>31881173
A-are those Candy Apples?
>>
>>31882766
>CMC strip off happily
>stuck-up twins refuse until they see the anon D
>>
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>>31881810
Nope I romanticize incest because I've never had any meaningful family relationships as they're all druggies. Feels strange, man.
>>
>>31882802
Welcome back Birko Kangz.
>>
>>31883158
her poor knees
>>
>>31883158
>Wow, what the fuck are you still doing up, Anon?
>>
>You will never have a threesome with your sister and your black-sheep cousin
>>
>>31882739
Spot the future thot.
>>
>>31883293
>tfw no goth cousin and bubbly huggy niece to cuddle
>>
>>31883305
It's Sweetie B
>>
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Objetive: Protect your sister Lilypad from your pervy cousin Pinkie
>>
>>31884002
now why would I do that? and who is that
>>
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>>31884002
Protect your sister by perving on your cousin? She'll be too distracted by you to go after her, then.
>>
>>31884002

>"I will take a bath with your sister and you can't stop me this time"

GAME OVER
>>
>>31884008

Some random girl from this EQG short

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbELTheKgIE
>>
>>31884024
>You will never be the younger brother of a Pinkie who is a raging loli- and shotacon with thick stacks of fanfiction she's written about the cake twins
>>
jefe, frosty, pls come back
>>
>>31884017

Just join to the bath
>>
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>>31882431
Oh shoot
>>
>>31880357
sauce on that image OP?
>>
>>31882621
>fuck her with a spoon
How exactly would that work?
>>
>>31884464
one scoop at a time.
>>
>>31884464
Spoon head first
>>
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>>31884464
Not very well
>>
>>31884002
>>31884024

This have potential. Shota anon sacrificing himself to save all the other little boys and girls and his sister from prision
>>
>>31884630
It's not much of a sacrifice if you enjoy it :^).
>>
>>31884478
>>31884494
Kek
>>
>>31884002

Pinkie mission: Use Anon little sister to turn him into a perv
>>
>>31884002
>Better Objective: Let Pinkie help you give your sister the 'birds and bees' lesson with an interactive demonstration
>>
>>31883178
>Kangz
WE
>>
>>31884836
>"Come on, Lilly, don't you love your brother?"
>"Y-yes."
>"Well then you should show it, silly!" She says, giggling.
>"You two are so cute together!"
>"You really think so?"
>"Yes indeededly! Don't worry, I'll guide you!"
>>
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>>31884906
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Glad to see people having fun again. Ponkcest was always an enjoyable idea. Have a late-night appul. Hope you get better, Sap
>>
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>"Come on."
"No."
>"She's a growing girl! she needs to learn all this stuff eventually, and having another girl and her brother help teach her is the best way!"
"Don't lewd the loli, Ponk."
>"Don't give me that. I can see right into that perverted little head of yours. Both of them. And I can tell you like 'em young."
>Pinkie waggles her eyebrows
"Unlike you, my sister is an innocent little cinnamon bun. And she hasn't even hit double digits on her birthday cake yet. The answer is no."
>"I remember you looking at me that way when I was a flat chested little thing. You don't think you ended up seeing so much of my birthday suit by accident did you? Heheheh."
"It doesn't matter what I want or don't want. She is not to be corrupted. If you need to get off I'll pound you into the mattress, but my sister is off limits!"
>>
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>>31884953
>>
Why does your bot protect Brazilian arts that Brazil has stolen from France?
>>
>>31884939
> late-night appul
Not as late as mine
>>
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>>31885000
Fuuuuuck
>>
>>31885000
Trips confirm Triple D Appuls
>>
>>31884953
Is Pinkie his cousin?
If so, time to pound her into the mattress.
>>
>>31885098
>Anon starts pounding Pinkie.
>Lily walks on them bumping uglies.
>>
>>31885000
Now THATS an appul
>>
>>31885154
>>31884953
>>31884836
>>31884830
This thread and it’s sudden fascination with pedophilia is disturbing. Perhaps someone should head to the chat and talk to the mods...
>>
oh . . .
>>
I want to read about siblings going on Valentine's Day dates.
>>
>>31885387
Today is Flurry Hearts birthday. How would you celebrate with your niece anon?
>>
>>31885389
By taking her and our mom out for peetzer.
>>
>>31881173
Is this the same leak as in Xmas or is this a new leak?
>>
>>31885396
What kind of peetzer....
>>
Pineapple.
>>
>>31885415
>>
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>>31885420
>>
>>31885405
same, 10min segment of 2nd EG special got leaked as well
>>
>>31885422
>>
>>31885435
>>
>>31885406
Three meat.
>>
>>31885460
>>
>>31885460
I came back just to find you and tell you I love you Anon.
>>
>>31885518
Thanks kirko
Too bad today is a garbage day either way
>>
>>31885521
Did you tell your waifu you love her?
>>
>>31885460
And then you would give them the meat with some added white sauce.
>>
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>>31880357
>"Oh my darling boy couldn't find a valentine? That's ok I'll be yours today."
>>
>>31885575
>rarimom spoils herself with decadent chocolates and son loving
>>
>>31885575
>Candy Hearts on the bed
Has Kirko indoctrinated this thread?
>>
>>31885575
>>31885589
>Rarimom will never put a heart shape chocolate between her breasts.
>"Just use your mouth darling."
>>
>>31885639
>>
>>31885597
Yeah, because heart shaped confections weren't a thing until some guy wrote a story about pastel colored girls wanting to fug their relative.
Congrats, you've cracked the Da Vinci code Anon.
>>
>>31885639
>>31885688
>Rarimom picked up food play while messing with Ponk in her highschool days.
>>
>>31885688
>"Ain't yall spoilin' that boy a yer's too much, Rarity?"
>[Exaggerated posh gasp]
>'I should say not! My son is the most important man in my life. Perhaps you should seek more human relations yourself, Applejack, unless farms make good sons.'
>>
>>31885705
>Applejack ends up stealing Rarity's son.
>>
>>31885705
>Rarity sometimes slips up her words.
>"Well my son knows how to use his tongue Applejack."
>"Hwat?"
>"I meant he had silver tongue when came to his words and when I am done with him."
>>
>>31885575
It's always way easier for me to imagine Rarity as a mom than the others.
>>
>>31885890
gold diggers seem to usually end up single mothers.
>>
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>>31885575
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk
>>
>>31885898
"M-mooom?!!" O.O
>>
>>31885731
>"Ahm gonna make an 'honest man' outta that boy of yours yet, Rarity."
>'Pfft, darling, please, isn't that what you have a brother for?'
>>
>>31885898
>Rarimom throws the condom.
>"We don't need this."
>>
>>31885322
Perhaps you should go to the hardware store and buy a rope to hang yourself.
>>
>>31881393
makes me kek every time
>>
>>31885575
>>31885589
>you and Rarimom will never get accidentally drunk off liquor chocolates after her Valentine’s date blows her off and she comes home a romantically starved mess
>you and her will never give in to frustration, released by your newfound lack of inhibition
>you will never tell her you don’t care what her friends would think and that the only important thing is how long you’ve been there for each other, and how much love you share

Really fucking tempted to write this now that I’ve got Dazzlings updated for the week
>>
>>31886155
> liquor chocolates
Disgosteng
>>
>>31886155
>>
>>31886155
Sketches are okay, but don't you dare putting Dazzlings on hold
>>
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>>31886167
have you ever had rumcake?
guess it's an acquired taste
>>
>>31886155
Fucking do it.
>>
>>31886155
>Pinkie forgot to tell Rarity that chocolates had liquor in them.
>>
>>31886223
>Oh
>Oh my word, Rarity, dearest, steady girl, easy..
>L-liqour? In chocolates? Only Pinkie Pie..
>"Anonymous-, Anon, my dear...do any girls look at you whistfully?"
>"A-ARE THERE ANY UNCOUTH HARPIES OUT FOR MY BOYS MANHOOD?!"
>Anon slides the Pinot out of Rarimom's reach
>Some carbs will get her sobered up
>He nudges the box of chocolates towards the middle of the table
>Damn these things are hella bomb, too..
>>
>>31886255
Drink Rarimom is cute.
>>
>>31886286
>Drink...
You mean, like her milk :^)?
>>
>>31886241
Lewd
>>
>>31886298
Fuck auto correct.
I don't go on mobile often, but my pc broke.
>>
>>31884906
>"Silly Nonners, rubber is for noses and balloons!" she inflates and ties off the condom, then lets it float into the air somehow, Pinkie is apparently full of helium
>"Now go in there and do it natural-fratural like a good brother"
>>
>>31886197
> not just having a rum with your cake
You people will go miles to waste time and good rum
>>
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>>31886298
>you're not even coherent when you wake up
>not til that first meal of the day
>break of fast, as ivan would say
>you do notice something though while opening the fridge for moo juice
>there's a pitcher of what looks like milk infront of the regular milk jug
>there's a strip of tape across the glass reading 'please use first' in mom's handwriting
>how the eff can she do that calligraphy font on barely an inch's width of tape
>whatever all this thinking aint puttin no milk on your frosted mini apple wheats
>rarimom's face when 'h-he's doing it!'
>>
>>31886420
> >break of fast, as ivan would say
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGxAtO5n9SY
>>
>>31886420
>>31886325
I love you both.
>>
>>31886241
tiddies
>>
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>>31886241
There are things that you can forgive line art for, and then there this "volume"
>>
>>31886500
*there's
>>
>>31886500
no worse than pixar
>>
>>31885575
Would hotdogging or anal be too uncouth for Rarimom?
>>
>>31886827
Touche
>>
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>>31885575
have some hot incest guys!

"Ma! MA! You around?"
>You barrel down the stairs after finishing off a particularly toxic round of fortnite, to see if dinner has been made yet.
>"In here."
>A soft, somber voice echoes from the kitchen.
>Heading towards the source, you find Mom sitting at the table, garbed in her trademark bathrobe, sipping a glass of red wine, the bottle resting on its side next to her.
>"I thought we discussed you calling me "ma". It's "Mommy" or "Mother"!"
>She smiles through her slightly slurred words.
"You're drinking already? It's not even six yet."
>She lifts the glass in a mock toast.
>"Today is a special day."
"It is?"
>She sips again.
>"Yes! Today is Valentine's day! The one day of the year that is a testament to my loneliness!"
>She forces a sad smirk, and downs the rest of the glass.
>You take a seat at the table across from her.
"Lonely? I didn't know-"
>"How could you? You're just a reminder of the one man I thought loved me, leaving me because I was having his child!"
>You're taken aback by her comment.
"I thought dad died. I didn't know he left you Mom!"
>She hiccups.
>"Of course you didn't. It's not like you care anyway. You just spend all your time playing stupid games, instead of taking care of your beloved mother! Just like him..."
>Your heart sinks.
>"I wish I never met him! I wish I never had you!"
"Mom-"
>She puts her head down and starts sobbing loudly.
>You travel to her side, and touch her back, making her lash out in response.
>"Don't you touch me, you little brat! If it wasn't for your SSI I would've gotten rid of you long ago! You're a waste of Flesh! Talent! A reminder of my greatest mistake!"
"Mom, you don't mean that-"
>"Go away! Go lock yourself away in your room! Go back to your little video games, and leave me to wallow in my grief!"
>You sigh, fighting back oncoming tears, and comply with her wishes.
"Yes ma'am..."
>You drag your sorry self back upstairs to your room.
Happy Valentines day
>>
>>31886857
Time to hate fuck Rarimom.
>>
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>>31886857
Haha, you know, that's actually not funny if that's happened to you in real life, hahah
>>
Meh.
>>
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>>31886857
> You barrel down the stairs
>>
>>31886915
1111111/10
>>
>>31886915
That’s rolling. I daresay a tumble
>>
>>31886935
Barrel rolling. He's doing a maneuver gefore heading to the east
>>
>>31886944
Goddamn Slavs
>>
>>31886915
see
>>31886894
>>
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>>31886961
It's slav time of a day, get used to it.

>>31886973
I once fell on the stairs and broke my spine, I have the right to joke about it.
>>
>>31886980
>I once fell on the stairs and broke my spine, I have the right to joke about it.
Story?
>>
>>31886996
Not much of a story. Was to happy about end of school day, ran fast, slipped on an old worn out stairs, welcome to the hospital where doctor will prohibit you things that don't even hurt.
>>
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>>31886857
Are you okay?
>>
>>31887018
So you're in a wheelchair?
>>
>>31887018
Stop drinking vodka you Slav fuck
>>
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>"I was just listening your recording bro. You're really good in this. "
>>
>>31887066
>Actually thinks you came up with the nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga rap
>"Y-you only hate my bro cuz his dick is bigga!"
>>
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>>31887044
Stop me, burger

>>31887037
It'd take more than simple staircase, so no
>>
>>31887066

>rock star anon
>your sister is your biggest fan
>actually going famous
>they try to destroy you with rumors about you and your sister having forbidden love
>those rumors are actually fake but make you more famous because the society is fucked in the head
>your coach suggests you to play along with the rumors
>>
>>31885322
Maybe we should call the mods on your obvious self bait attempts, because you couldn't ban the thread last time. Fucking neck yourself and let your sister fuck the hole.
>>
>>31887243
rock stars have coaches?
>>
>>31886857
Hey you just described my 10th birthday.
>>
Glad to see everyone is having a good day, will have some green up by day's end for you glorious bastards.
>>
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>>31887249
>>let your sister fuck the hole.

"I don't think I'm comfortable with this."
>"Why ever not, darling? You certainly put all my holes to good use. Especially that one. It feels divine you know. I'd simply like to return the favor, as it were."
>She wrapped her hands around him from behind, feeling your chest.
"Rare. uh-"
>Anon could hear the lust in her voice as she whispered in his ear.
>"I'll be gentle. Bend over."
>>
>>31887243

Plotwist:Anon manager is his father.

>"come on my boy, just kiss your sister in front the camera. We already know that she actually love it"
>>
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>>31887347
> around him
Whom?
>>
>>31887357
His action figure, and totally not fuck doll Rarity made for him.
>>
>>31887357
fuck, I can't into writing.
>>
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>>31887361
> Rarity cannot use strap-on herself because she won't be able to ride Anon's cock, so she makes him a fuckdoll
She's so romantic
>>
>>31887066
>sister that listens to your contribution to erotic male audio when
>>
>>31887357
>reading Slav green
>>
>>31887382
> everything is slav-made now
Calm down, burger, no slav would indulge in buttfucking.
>>
>>31887379
That's actually a fun idea. Would she know beforehand or discover it?
>>
>>31886857
Ah, I see you've taken inspiration from those Ponk-mom prompts from a while back. I thought of writing a story about that but I genuinely have no idea how to put incest into it. I've been debating having a cousin Surprise that acts a lot like Pinkie did when she was younger or roll with the Aunt Maud ideas that were also in the thread.
>>
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>>31887488
That wasn't inspiration, it was just a textbook kirko dickslap.
>>
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>>31887417
Discover it. Then it'd make the moment where she accidently unplugs the headphones even funnier.
>>
>>31887620
>she's just cumming almost literal buckets and frigging herself sore all day long
>now every time brother says anything normal in real life she almost doubles over with sploosh
>good big bro anon wonders if she's sick or what, does she need some help?
>sure whatever, she agrees to anything he says at this point
>soon enough she's lying in bed. bronon brings her soup and offers to tell her a story
>>
>>31887488
I actually wrote that Ponk mom prompt
>>
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>>31887641
>Hfw
Meanwhilr Celestia wonders what's up with Luna's sudden uptake of tissues.
>>
>>31887688
weird how this looks like it's zooming in
>>
man it sure is stories in here!
>>
>>31887641

Writefags pls.
>>
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>raramom
Why do you assholes know my weakness
>>
>>31880357
Is BadlyWritten around?
>>
>>31888377
I'm hoping that he's the one who posted >>31887341
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>>31885000
good fucking lord, Anon
>>
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>>31888428
Just like my parents prepare to be disappointed.
>>
>>31888549
It's fine anon, as someone who spends most of their time in Flutterrape waiting for green, I think it's actually impossible for me to be dissapointed with content.
>>
>>31886857
I can't have been the only one laughing thinking this is something that personally happened to Kirko can I?
>>
>>31880357
>no muslims
>choosing someone from a group with the lowest inbreeding rate
OP's a humongous faggot.
>>
>>31887066
Stop listening to my homoerotic asmr channel
>>
>>31888849
You are
>>
>>31888849
Yeah if you’re really that much of an idiot to think whatever someone posts is automatically projection
>>
>>31886857

Maybe suicide would be a great gift for mother day or her birthday
>>
>"Are you alone in valentine big bro? maybe I can be your valentine today...please?"
>>
>>31886857
>Did you mean to bring this feel back to me?
>>
>>31886857
She sounds like a total cunt.
>>
>>31889398
How can any other little sis compare?
>>
>>31889398
>"I don't know what kind of things a girlfriend does, but... If you just tell me, I'll try it"
>>
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>>31889588
>>31889398
>>
>>31889398

>that blush

Look like someone ask advice to rarity before the date. I bet that she is pantyless right now
>>
>>31889398
>that blush
She knows exactly what she's asking.
>>
>>31889701

She is just thinking about the kiss in the lips after the date. She probably don't know anything after that
>>
>>31889741
Neither does Anon.
>>
>>31887252
Managers I guess?
>>
>>31889753
"Yes, I can finally lose my virginity!"
"... Oneechan, do you know what sex is?"
>"Is that when you hug someone rrrreaaal close and go to bed with them?"
(fuck, is it?)
"Th-that's right!"
>"Yayyy sex with big brother!" and the li'l giblet clings and snuggles you and falls asleep
>>
>>31888871
Show me single mislim character in the show or go back to /reddit/
>>
>>31889398
>Slavshy
>>
>>31889398
>omorashi
>>
>>31888871
>wanting greentext of the religion that thinks throwing acid at hot women is okay if they're angry about the woman's hotness

The fuck were you thinking, Anon?
>>
>>31889940
Not him but
>>
>>31890010
Okay, but how about airing more than 5 seconds? I;m not asking for a voice even.
>>
>>31890010
not muslim. chick isn't wearing a hood.
>>
>>31890010
They look like horses, not like muslims.
>>
>>31890076
She's his bedslave, he just shows her off because he's rich
> your bedslave won't get ill from traveling
> only woman that can play your wife in public won't be your sister you took along for sightseeing
> she won't usually wear hijab so nobody can even tell
> she won't drag you into her dorms after the ceremony because walls have ears and you cannot drop the act untill you're in Equestria
>>
>>31890076
>>31890080
Silly Slavs. Horse Muslim culture is reversed here. Their mares have to wear less or have bleach thrown on their clothes
>>
>>31890010
Star and crescent moon saddle... You might as well call him Mohammed
>>
>>31890110
Your slavhysteria is wrecking your mind, Anon. Stop it, you sound dumb.
>>
>>31890114
isnt that the symbol of the guys that the muslims fought though
and also the gerudo
I wanna say muslims are forbidden from having symbols
>>
>>31890110
Definition of muslim is vague today. We have three different muslim states in Russia and none of them is like the other: ones are oligopoly caricature, second ones cosplay mad max and third are mongolian horde all over again, all three don't even wear muslim outfits and eat pigs when Allah doesn't see it at night. So, why even reversing them when they are inconsistent as it is?
>>
>>31890155
Oh yeah come to think of it that's true in western europe too
we're in a very strange place right now where the people killing each other all need to die, so for the first time the doves have a point in that we can sit back and just let the problem solve itself.

buuut none of that is pony related so let's get back to horses fucking each other
how much fun would it be to raise cute babies with your sister pinkie?
>>
>>31890150
Stupid, subhuman silly Slav. All you can ever sound is dumb with your broken English
>>
>>31890080
>characters in a horse show beh lewking like horses comrade
>>
>>31890180
At least not a xenophonic scum you are, burger.
>>
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less shitposting, more incestuous horsegirl shenanigans.
>>
>>31890190
They actually do.
>>
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>"Y-you better b-back the fuck up before you c-catch this 45."
>>
>>31890207
This is not Equesgria, your stare doesnt work here, shuravi
>>
>>31890204
I love when you goofy reds try to talk like people! It’s so fun to read your broken English with Russian accents! Can you say “moose and squirrel”? I’ll give you a Slav snack!
>>
>>31890214
Like in South Florida?
>>
>>31890223
Last (You), fatty
>>
>>31890252
Does crouching so low to the ground,kill brain cells? Do your dogs go “Bork” instead of “bark”? Silly stupid Chernobyl ghouls~
>>
>>31890234
I live in Florida and understand this reference!
Also its pretty quiet tonight.
>>
>>31890308
How much frags he got anyway? Quite nice remake of Columbine.
>>
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>>31890336
IIRC, somewhere near 14? A bunch of good talk happening down on /pol/ right now if you care, some more conspiracy talk about he was alt-right, if it was a false flag attack by da jooz, the usual.
>>
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This is considerably less fun than yesterday. Get back to fantasizing about moms or something and take this appul as incentive.

>>31890308
No shit, sherlock.
>>
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>>31890348
I have my own theory on who was behind it
>>
>>31890353
>still reusing old appuls
Why is appulfag such a cancerous avatarfag?
>>
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>>31890353
How is this one less fun than yesterday? If anything it's better, what with Rarara posts, the Luna stuff, and yellowquiet?
>>
>>31890371
I meant in the more immediate sense. Everything up until the last 2 hours or so was nice.
>>
I'm always down to talk about cute cousin Luna. Any ideas come to mind?
>>
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>>31890381
Ah, gotcha. Don't worry, I got something lewd cooking, though it's far behind schedule due to several failed starts.
>>
Updated to current point : https://pastebin.com/2r0fa9CA

Happy Valentine's fuckers, I love you all.

>You calm yourself down a little. Magic is to be expected a lot more towards Canterlot.
>Get a grip, Anon.
>”I’m the titular Diviner, but just call me Mal’, I’ll be the lucky gentleman to be at your service this fine night.”
>A fairly impressive moustache is almost enough to distract from the fuck-off horn jutting from his forehead.
>He beckons you closer with a small gesture, waving his hand.
>”Now, I’ll ask the lovely young lady you’re accompanying to pick somewhere to sit and we’ll get down to brass tacks.” He gives a cheery wink to Jack, who just tips her hat and strolls off to a booth further along the diner’s length.
“Uh.. hey.” You offer uncertainly, jamming your hands into your pockets.
>”Fun night?” He asks, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at you with an amused glint to his eye.
>Of course, your eyes keep nervously glancing up to the horn sat atop said eye.
“Yessir,” you respond, almost by instinct, nodding quickly.
>”My boy, you’ll have to excuse me for being forward – but you’re awfully nervous. Now, from what these eyes see your lady – “ he nods over to Jack, who’s idly leaning back in the booth. “ - isn’t causing the grief. Might I hazard myself a guess and say it’s the horn?”
>Instinct says to deny everything.
>Logic says that’s retarded, because evidence says yes.
>Never argue with evidence, Anonymous.
“Yessir.” You admit, tensing.
>This guy’s throwing you off, and making you all sorts of fucking nervous.
>Unicorns that live long enough are supposed to be powerful as all shit.
>Smart, too.
>Natural selection at work.
>The stupid power players get themselves blown up by fucking up.
>Plus Mal’ introduced himself by teleporting without breaking a sweat.
>>
>>31890436
>”City boy, hm?” He briefly strokes his moustache, before nodding. “Well, rest assured, my boy – any patrons under my roof have nothing to fear. Besides, between you and me – Enchantments and teleportation are my specialty.”
“So.. why not Enchanter Diner?”
>He levels his gaze at you, raising an eyebrow.
>”Does that roll off the tongue as well?”
“It does not.” You admit.
>He nods, satisfied and pushes himself back to his full height.
>It’s not overly impressive, but given the fact unicorns enjoy making physics their bitch you aren’t going to bring that up.
>He tilts his head at you, curiously.
>”Two coffees, two sweet teas.” He nods.
>How in the fuck
“How—“
>”Part of the enchantment work at play. I get general ideas of the best orders. Not advanced mind scrying, but it does well enough.”
>You stare at his back as he turns on his heel, beginning to levitate glasses, coffee cups and jugs in a halo of white light.
>He turns to wave you away, still looking amused. “I’ll have it sent over. You can order the main course when ready.”
>You quickly stride over to the booth, sitting down in a hurry.
>Jack turns from looking out at the darkened street.
>”Somethin’ wrong?”
“He’s –“ you start, before clenching your jaw.
>You wave a hand quickly at Mal’s general direction.
“He read my fucking thoughts, Jack. To figure out what I wanted to order.”
>She shrugs, setting her hat down on the booth next to her and tousling her hair before carefully trying to organise it.
>”Annnnn’ that’s a problem how?”
“What if he figures it out? You know, us.” You hiss, looking over the back of your booth back towards the service counter.
>”Ah’m gonna go out on a limb here, an’ say he’s all sorts a aware that we’re on a date.” She drawls, slinging a toned arm over the back of her bench and relaxing back.
“No, ‘Jack. That we’re fucking—“
>>
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>>31890436
No fucking way
>>
>>31890439
>Flash.
>Mal appears, setting down two coffees in front of you, not spilling a drop.
>”I shall kindly ask you to refrain from such in my diner. This isn’t the nine-seventies.” He chuckles, and is gone again.
>You stare at Jack over your coffee.
>Keep staring.
>Don’t think about how good she looks with the slightly messy hair.
>Also fuck that coffee smells amazing
“See?” You ask.
>Flash.
>Mal sets your iced teas down, ice cubes clinking against the glass in a way that can’t possibly sound that way without magic.
>Look, as far as you’re concerned everything in this old fashioned diner is magic until proven otherwise.
>”Please order when ready. Although, I request you do not take too long, we shut at daybreak.”
>Aaaaaaaand he’s gone.
“Jack, please tell me you get what I mean.” You’re almost pleading, and you eye your coffee and iced tea.
>”Yer overreactin’. Trust me, folk here wouldn’t jus’ up an’ start reading yer mind.”
>She retrieves a straw, removing the paper packaging from one end, before aiming the other end at you and blowing.
>You stare at her, unimpressed as the wrapper hits you in the cheek as she smirks.
“Real mature, hick. Look, maybe we can just.. drink this, pay up and get out of here.” Jabbing a thumb over your shoulder towards the exit, keeping your eyes locked on hers.
>She HAS to understand this is fucking weird.
>”Ohhhh no. Ain’t the deal.”
“What.”
>”See, Ah still got yer cell phone.”
“You can just say phone.”
>”Whatever. Look, way Ah see it, we’re sorta here until Ah get a nice dinner date.” She holds up her index finger. “Orrrr option two, is we set ourselves down and see how long y’can last without yer c—phone ‘cause y’went an’ reneged on yer promise.”
>>
>>31890440
ye boiiii

>>31890445
>She can fucking walk back.
>You’ll buy a new phone.
>Fuck it.
>You’ll buy a new cousin.
>Why stop there?
>You’ll buy a whole new family.
>That should stop the daddy issues, too, hopefully.
>You plant your hands on the cold table, ready to push yourself to your feet.
>you’ve had enough of this magic horseshit.
>Something yanks your knee forward, forcing it to bend.
>You slam back into the booth, and look down.
>Yep, there’s Jack’s boot.
>”Anon, y’promised me a date. An’ I’m getting’ it. But, Ah promise Ah’ll make it all sortsa worth yer while.” She smiles slowly, tilting her head slightly as though waiting for something.
>The tip of the boot gently strokes your knee, before gently sliding up your inner thigh.
>Tap. Tap.
>Her boot retracts, setting down on the floor, as she smirks around her straw.
>Slurping indulgently at the iced tea.
“..So, Anon, reckon yer thirsty enough t’stick around?”
>She has no fucking idea.
>You throw back a mouthful of the iced tea, taking an icecube into your mouth and focusing on solely that.
>Gotta divert bloodflow somehow, right?
>”S’matter? Somethin’ on yer mind?”
“Yeah, leaving your ass here.”
>You look out the window, trying to pick out which fucking alleyway you came through.
>”Figured y’had other plans for it, but sure, let’s go on ahead with that.”
>Well.
>Hell awaits.
>You’re sat on a date with Jack.
>And awkwardly trying to adjust certain anatomy with one hand as you tap the glass to draw her attention.
>Anonymous Apple.
>Master of subterfuge.
>>
>>31890481
This feels weird
>>
>>31890481
“Which alley did we come out from, again?”
>”Don’cha worry none, Ah remember. Also, y’ain’t gonna find the way back to Mac’s truck with yer hand down there, Ah’ll tell y’that much.”
>You look back at her, and she’s calmly glancing through one of the menus.
“I.. I’m looking for my phone, alright?”
>”Y’mean the phone y’know darn good and well is squarely lodged right under the left-most member a’ the C-team?”
>She sets the menu down, sliding it across the table to you.
>C’s?
>Well, shit.
>They looked bigger.
>You start to glance at the menu before she stretches, setting her arms beneath her chest and crossing her wrists, drawing her arms out with an exaggerated groan.
>You’ve seen shit like this on the nature channel.
>Some animals use hypnotic movements to draw in their prey.
>Fuck that.
>You aren’t being prey.
>You’re above being prey.
>You’re a predator.
>An Apple
>Wait fuck no that doesn’t work.
>EITHER WAY.
>Situation critical.
>What’s in the environment?
>You don’t trust your voice to not crack like you just hit puberty.
>Moving isn’t going to work.
>Wait. The plastic coating on the menu.
>You grip tighter, letting the slight sting draw you out of it, and lock your eyes to the menu.
>”Enjoyin’ th’ show?”
“Fuck off.” You retort.
>You’re a man of wit, even in the hard times.
>Or rather the times when some things are hard.
>See, that went better than the apple predator line, you’re getting back on your game, Apple.
>This wanton seduction will not stand.
>You are a bastion of traditional values.
>>
>>31890489
Weird how? I dare say it's the painkillers. Something I can improve on?
>>
>>31890436
>When you’ve been dead so long other writers have to look you up in the pastebin to recognize you
>>
>BadlyWritten returns

truly, this is a valentine's day miracle.
>>
>>31890501
Get lost Secondchances. You drove kirko away, so don’t mess with the real appulman
>>
>>31890501
>>31890505
>namefagging and not writing anything
>>
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>>31890501
>still in the pastebin after however long
>pic very much related. mostly due to tramadol

>>31890505
Shit, is it even V-day in any timezone still? also this is fucking with me. Timeline wise in the green we haven't even hit september yet. AND IT'S FEBRUARY NOW. I was meant to keep this shit concurrent.

>>31890508
Kirko's never gone, he just fucks off to kick homeless dudes for a day or two then waits for the heat to die down before crossing back into state lines.
>>
>>31890512
well, it's not, but it still feels like it is to me.
>>
>>31890511
Oh how fucking dare I try to interact with the thread I write for

>>31890512
Ignore the idiot - he’s been trying to kick up drama for almost a month now. I’m pretty sure you went inactive before I started posting here - good to have you back.
>>
>>31890534
wouldn't surprise me if that was the same guy trying to get the thread banned because loli.
>>
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Don't mind me
>>
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>>31890520
Welp, Happy Valentine's day, Butts.

>>31890534
There's always somebody, I find when I get back here in between my little expeditions. But, yeah, you're a new 'face'. Good to meet you, I'll take a glance at your green if you don't mind after I knock out some posts and sort some chores out.

>>31890541
Are the Jannies still doing random shit, or are we in the clear now?
>>
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I'm really into this.
>>
>>31890550
The jannies have been quiet since the incident with Anonfilly and [IT HURTS] getting kicked into the /trash/ can
Lately it's just some shitstirrers kicking up drama in the thread lately. Mostly centered around Kirko, but we've also got a hanson hanging around.
>>
>>31890493
>Besides being a borderline recluse.
>And throwing a ten year old into a creek.
>Twice.
>And causing your cousin to have a breakdown over her reading impairment.
>And rubbing onions into your eyes.
>Sure, you were the victim then, but there was a victim.
>That has to count against you.
>Shit fucking stung.
>Now you think about it, you’re a danger to society.
>Next you’ll be raping villages.
>Pillaging children.
>Burning women.
>Pirating WinRAR and framing it on Granny.
>Have you done that yet?
>Of course not, but like fuck are you gonna wait until you do?

>You scan the menu carefully, almost hiding behind it.
>Oddly, the jukebox keeps churning out very.. slow, sensual songs.
>You hadn’t noticed earlier.
>Maybe that’s what’s making shit a little more heated than usual.
>Anyhow.
>Burger and fries sounds good.
>You still give the rest of the menu a glance over, briefly debating chicken.
>AYO.
>HOL UP
“So, what’re you getting?” Asking whilst hiding behind some laminated craft paper isn’t the boldest move, but if it isn’t the safest currently, you’re shit out of ideas.
>”Ah kinda wanna try the Slimmin’ Pot Roast.”
>You scan the menu.
>Well.
>Two out of three isn’t bad.
>You slide the menu back across the table, tapping the word “Simmerin’”.
“Close, give it another shot.”
>”Oh, fer..” She sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Eyes are jus’ a li’l tired.”
>She fidgets idly with the remnant of her straw’s paper packet, tearing it into small pieces.
“You’re getting pretty good though. I mean, the font isn’t easy.”
>She looks at you, quickly.
>”Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s sorta done all.. bubble-like. No wonder Pinkie likes it here, huh?” You try, smiling, hoping to distract her from the mistake.
>>
>>31890560
>”Are you quite sure, because you seemed to squeak.” Mal asks, clasping his hands in front of him.
>Fuck you.
“It was a battle cry. For the Earthen uprising.”
>Mal considers this, and then nods. “I look forward to meeting you on the field of battle – now! I believe orders are to be taken, or more accurately, divined and hungers assuaged. Although, I do ask you both delay assuaging a particular hunger here, as I said.”
>He points at you.
>”One B..” He clears his throat, offering a smile and trying again. “And for you, my good Earthen firebrand?”
>Wait, can’t he read your
>oh
>You catch up with what’s going on.
>He’s being fucking nice.
“Can I get the Equestrian All-For Burger with some fries?”
>”And will that be with any sauces or extra side dishes?” He asks, writing on thin air.
>Or maybe he’s being a dick.
>You can never tell with these guys.
“No, that’s fine.”
>He makes to grab something between thumb and finger, before yanking it to the side.
>His horn glows, and a now-visible notebook page floats beside him.
>OH SHIT
>OH FUCK SON
>HE DOIN MAGIC AN SHIT
>SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
>Before you know it he’s repeating the motion, and a second page floats next to the first.
>Then he disappears, and pops up again behind the counter.
“Wait – I didn’t even hear him take your order like he did for me.”
>Yeah you’re a little confused.
>>
>>31890550
Don’t really know yet. We’ve had a thread or two take a hard nosedive into shitposting recently thanks to spam and people trying to force some shitty drama between writers, though.
>>
>>31890559
>>31890564
I can only imagine the Mods are still salty and are looking for a good chance to drop this thread into the trash.
>>
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WAIT FUCK. Put this between these two.

>>31890560
>“How’d’ya figure?”
”Strikes me as a girl who likes obnoxious shit.” You shrug a shoulder, setting the menu down.
>“Figured she’d like ya pretty well, then?” She flicks a stray scrap of paper at you.
“Jack, we were having a moment there.”
>”..Awright, y’ain’t obnoxious. Thanks fer pointin’ out mah screwup an’ bein’ all nice about it.”
“Anytime. I’m not aiming for a repeat of a couple weeks back. You ready to order—“
>FLASH
>FUCKING DIARCHS IN A BURLAP SACK
>Mal and Jack look at you, somewhat worried.
>”Y’alright?”
“Y-yeah. Fine.”
>>31890562
>>
>>31890560
I thought WinRAR meme died when 7zip came out of beta
>>
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>>31890585
See, that's why it's the perfect crime. Granny Smith ain't gonna know shit about 7zip.
>>
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>>31890588
> let's pirate mspaint when there's Krita under GPLv2
This is kind of why RAR died.
>>
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>>31890562
>“It was a battle cry. For the Earthen uprising.”
>>Mal considers this, and then nods. “I look forward to meeting you on the field of battle
>>
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I want to be mad but I'm just so happy that it's finally returned, and that you're okay enough to be writing again. Welcome back nigga, and have this appul.
>>
>>31890493
good to see you back in action
>>
>Plethora of greens from SC and Badly.
I don't mind being stuck in bed so much anymore.
>>
>>31890665
Nice to be back.

>>31890678
Same. What's got you mostly bed bound?
>>
The circlejerk is stronk in here. Should I pretend you’re my aunts to make it more acceptable?
>>
>>31890559
You know it’s SC and Pois doing it
>>
>>31891050
I'd rather be a cousin.
>>
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>>31891075
Is it just a title or are they really cuddling?
>>
>>31890862
Some Nordic strain of the flu.
>>31891050
Whatever your mind fancies!
>>
>>31890436
Unicorn humans?
>>
>>31890862
Badly has returned?! Oh now I gotta update nigga. I missed you man!
>>
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>>31891176
It bugs me too.
>>
>>31890493
The nature channel bit had me chuckling Badly. Good shit.
>>
>>31890534
If you're not actively posting content, then why does anyone need to know who you are? Everyone might as well tripfag at this point, because hey, we're interacting with the thread we're a part of.
>>
>>31890562
I'm glad you're back, please don't leave for so long again.
>>
Is SC still going to do the Rarimom green?
>>
>>31891427
After kirko appeared the others do it for ego now. Shit at least kirko will write something if he trips, these other guys just want the (you)s. Be careful though. SC may try to denounce your argument by calling you names or getting other anons to bash you
>>
>>31891898
>Shit at least kirko will write something if he trips
kirko did more shitposting than any other tripfag by a wide margin, which alternate reality are you living in?
>>
>>31891911
It’s still content
>>
>"D-d-do you think I still got it, brother?"
>>
>>31891978
Oh auntie you're so fine
you're so fine you blow my mind
>>
>>31891979
I guess she always works better as an aunt...
>>
>>31891754
Yes. Haven’t done a proper one-off for a thread in a while, but I’ll try to have something coherent to start with by tomorrow evening at the latest.
>>
>>31892359
Which is a shame, I much rather prefer some sister/cousin action that's more relatable to Anon's level of maturity than having Celestia and Luna pigeon holed as vastly older figures of authority.
>>
>>31892390
Amen!
>>
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>No shy little sister Luna that clings to your side at family/social functions while older sister Celestia mingles freely
>>
>>31892653
Cute...
>>
>>31891075
>>31891080
oh damn, it's POV.
and british
>>
>>31891075
oh my god every time she grabs the camera and brings it closer and pretends she's bringing you closer
get this woman a cameraman please. she deserves it but I laughed so hard every time it made a 'you hit the camera' nose
>>
>>31892653
I'm usually partial to the older princesses but this is definitely something I can see myself enjoying.
>>
>>31893033
What about being in an incest club with all 4?
>>
>>31893061
How would that make sense? Unless someone brought in aunt Celestia and Luna from some alternate dimension, but then it wouldn't really be incest would it?
>>
>>31890481
>“..So, Anon, reckon yer thirsty enough t’stick around?”
Should be a greenline.
>>
>>31893061
Incest club? 4? Is it another drunk slav?
>>
>>31893033
>no shy sister that bonds with you because you relate to each other better than other, more gregarious people
I've been trying to work out an idea where you are apple bloom's twin brother and the two of you have been raised separately from AJ and Big Mac
in the process of choosing which ideas to use and which not to use, I thought of a prompt I want someone to use but 'mnot gonna hold my breath... involving Twilight or that pink friend of hers that I hate using some kind of hypnosis or subliminal messages to alter Anon and his sister's sensitivity to exposure, either lowering it for their own good or raising it so they can be pushed into certain situations and the squirming be enjoyed
>>
>>31891117
Get well soon, repel the viking virus.

>>31891176
>>31891329
Yeah I couldn't come up with a good name. I mean, unicorn just means one horn. But I wanted some visual shit for Anon to freak over.

>>31891294
I BACK SON. I see you've held the fort well.

>>31891418
Works best if you read with an Attenborough voice.

I'll get back to writing after I'm done being passed the fuck out, seeing as I have tomorrow off.
>>
>>31893074
It makes sense if the reader is shining armor. Or rather thinks he/she is, and the club is exactly what it sounds like. Fans of incest with the four princesses in it.(Twilight,Candy,Luna,Celestia)
"Dookie Dookie Incest Club"
>>
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>>31893132
Kirko I swear to fucking god I never know whether to hug you or punch you. Have appul.

>>31893122
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CRY LIKE THIS. You get appul too. Aw fuck it, appuls for everybody!
>>
>>31893162
It all depends on your choice of love interest of the four princesses being
>Twilight
>Twilight
>Twilight
>Twilight

The best part is they all want you to be their brother.
>>
>>31893132
JuSt LuNa
>>
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>>31893162
>>31893189
>Four Twilights
I know for a fact I put Celestia, Luna and Cadance in there. Here have a Candy image
>>
>>31893189
This nigga gets it.
>>
>>31893204
T̶̡̳̞̳͎̙̰̫͜͝ͅh̶̢̨̰̯̮̱͎̥̙̱̬̝͚̮͈́ę̴͙̩̩͔̭̼̠̥̟̗͇̱̘̩̖̖͇̕ŗ̧̥̳̙͜e̡̺̜͖̫͎ ̧̢̢̛̖̗̱̫̪͍͇̯̠̺͚̝̳̫ị̸̴̖͚̥̣̺̥̟͎̠̙̝̀s̢̤͍̥͈̳͉̠̤͘̕͢ ̷͍̼̖͉̰͎̱̟̫́͘ǫ̵̬̬̺͎̣̞̱͇͍͖̥̣̼̹̘̯͔̺̦͘̕ǹ̢͙̠̗̼̪͙̦͢͠l̵̬̯̮̥͉̹̞͈͔̺͜ý̷̯̼̼̱̖͍̥̼̳̭͈̼ ̫͎̘̖̮̱͓́͜T̡̧͉̼̞̞̀͝ẁ̩̬̙̼̪̬̦̣͢͡ͅì̘̦̫̩͖̰͍͕̕͘͜l̵̞̪̤̪͙͖̗̻̪͇̭̟̖͔̩͓͖͢į̷̛̛̬̪̜̟̗̘͈͉̣g̸̸̯̘̱̕͜͞ͅh̛̰͎̙̺̫̥̬̭̟̫̤͚̝̕ͅt̴̷̨̨͖̭̥̮̫ͅ ̷͖͎͙̜͓̭̥̙̤̟͓̠͙̬̺̘͠ͅͅŞ̖͎͉̜͖̼͔͈̘̟͕͢p̧̺͕͖̣̜͉͜͝a̴̬͖̞̜͕͕͔̞̰̥͍̪͡ͅr̨̡̡̬̟̭͕̻̰̥͚̹̜̜̼̰͙̯ͅk̷̷̮͇͇̤̳̘͇̣͙̪̠͕̗̩̱͈̩̩͜͡͝ͅļ͍͈̗͘ͅe̢͉̞̦̘̪̹̗͝
>>
>>31893215
Slasher's gone anon, and he took his bin with him.
>>
>>31893222
Oh hey! Slasher Science call out!
>>
>>31893189
>The best part is they all want you to be their brother.
I wanna be their mother, be their brother too.
>>
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>>31891978
Does this look mean anything to you?
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>>31893291
>It's time
NO STOP STOP STOP IT
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>>31893301
But it's always time
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>>31893291
>>31893301
>>31893317
IT IS TIME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfRwU6rgV4U
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>>31893579
MOM STOP
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>>31893596
>>
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>>31893132
>Dookie Dookie
Confirmed:
Kirko is a scatfag
>>
>>31893698
Confirmed: Tripfag contributes nothing.
>>
>>31893734
>wanting any green from handsome Jeck at this point
>>
>>31893734
Please, for the love of god, don't be finding this out just now.
You had to have known this before.
>>
>>31893734
Confirmed:
Moron doesn't know the difference between a namefag and a tripfag
>>
>>31893763
This thread became cancer the moment it was uplifted. I’ve never seen anon the denizens of a thread work so hard to kill it and then complain when their target wants nothing to do with them. Has autism gotten out of control?
>>
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>>31893806
>>denizens of a thread
>One or two people at best
>The whole thread
Pick one and only one.
>>
>>31893829
This started when the Slavs came
>>
>>31893867
I'm sure it was when the thread police started going on about what they personally found offensive or problematic.
This board can't ignore shitposting to save it's life.
>>
>>31893887
>thread police
So moralslavs?
>>
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>Wake up, open thread
>50 replies
"Oh shit, nigga, hopefully some good gre—"
>Shitting
>Endless shitting
>>
>>31893981
Does that show still come on?
Zazz Bacon was so chadly.
>>
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>>31893981
It’s the Slavs. They love shitting up our thread because they lost anon filly
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>>31894001
Little sisters grow up quick.
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>>31894001
Fela pure
>>
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>>31893803
Fair enough, Adagio's got me there.
Adagio's sounds like a breakfast cereal.
>You're older sister will never regret moving in with you just to get away from your strict parents while also cutting down on rent.
>>
>>31894069
>those ties
I thought it was a tampon string.
>>
>>31894045
>>31894069
>>
>>31890010
This is why we need a Crusade asap.
>>
>>31894069
sounds more like canned pasta to me
>>
>>31885575
Who else went out early this morning to buy some 75% off V-day candy?
>>
>>31886857
Poor bastard
>Anon dreads tomorrow, expecting a discussion from Rarity
>A "I was drunk, I had a very bad day, I didn't mean what I said, that was completely inappropriate, I'm sorry" talk
>If not that, possibly a stern discussion about how he needs to spend more time outside his room, backed with plans for a fun night out; just the two of them
>Maybe even just a few days of awkwardness where neither of them talk to one another and Rarity looks remorseful, but is too ashamed to apologize
>Fuck, ANYTHING AT ALL that would suggest that she didn't mean what she said
>That's all Anon wants
>That's all he desperately wants
>Only there is no discussion
>No awkwardness
>No apologetic looks
>No firm talking-to or plans to limit his access to the computer
>Rarity just smiles at him and says "good morning"
>She says it the exact same way she says it every morning
>He even manages to catch sight of the bottle of wine out of the corner of his eye; it's half empty, which means his mom didn't get roaring drunk and just forgot the awful (if somewhat valid) things she said
>It wasn't the liquor talking
>Anon realizes that nothing has changed, and that last night he got a peek at what had always been laying under the surface of his mother's careful, hollow smile
>Several horrible feelings well up inside of him, many of which he doesn't have names for since this is his first time feeling them

>Anon, being a young teenager, does not know how to deal with this
>He has no father present to confide in and nobody close to talk to
>He feels betrayed by the one he had absolute trust in, and begins to wonder about the validity of every other friendship he has
>Like many children before him, he blames himself for his mother's problems; both those he is responsible for, and the ones he is not (which are the majority)
>Alone, Anon turns inward and begins to drift away from his mother
>Maybe a part of him hoped that Rarity would notice, but she never appeared troubled by his behaviour
>>
>>31886857
Why you gotta be such an asshole?

>Anon, feeling hurt, decides to stay with aunt Sweetie Belle for a while
>He confides in her about the evening, and his aunt comforts him
>Sexually
>>
>>31894765
or
>Anon decides to use that feeling of betrayal and anger as fuel to improve
>He becomes more social
>He works out
>He improves himself
>Rarity notices and tries to engage more with her son
depending on the author Anon could push her away or forgive her.
>>
>>31894781
Based Auntie.
>>
>>31894781
I have no idea what you mean. this story is loving and touching, and I boldly claim that I've never done anything that could label me "asshole",
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>>31894810
Personally, those crushing feelings of disappointment and self-loathing would kill any resolve I'd have. I would be ruined if I found out one or both of my parents hated me and regretted ever having me.
>>
>>31894781
>Aunt Sweetie has roommates, too
>"Sheesh, I knew your sister could be a bitch, Sweetie, but to make Anon cry?..."
>'That don't sit well with me, either, ain't right treatin' er' only son like that.'
>>
>>31894810

Realistic option pf any teenager when he don't have any help at all and is already with stress:
>Suicide
>Leave the house and never return
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>>31894855
Yeah, that'd probably be a little worse than being told you're the guinea pig child, and they were able to raise your siblings into functional, loved human beings because they learned from their mistakes raising a mumbling autist like me. I-I mean you.
>>
>>31894859
>Roommates Scootaloo and Apple Bloom
Oh, heck. We just took a good idea and made it better. If they babysat him when he was a kid, that would mean they're already fond of him from the get-go.
>>
>>31894855
in the end you can lay down and prove those feelings right or you can try and become a better person and prove them wrong
>>31894865
maybe. but then again we are talking about fantasies and fiction here
>>
>>31894882
>in the end you can lay down and prove those feelings right or you can try and become a better person and prove them wrong
I'm all for this attitude, Anon, but if it were that easy then depression wouldn't exist.

>maybe. but then again we are talking about fantasies and fiction here
Point.
>>
>>31894882

>we are talking about fantasies and fiction here

Sure, let use magic to solve everything.
>>
>>31894865
Why not combine this with the Aunt Sweetie path?

>Anon feels overwhelmed and absolutely awful
>After school is over for the day, Anon walks home
>He reaches his house and keeps on walking
>He doesn't stop until he reaches his Aunt Sweetie's place
>Aunt Sweetie tells him he can stay for as long as he wants
>Cue emotional breakdown
>Cue being doted over by his aunt's roommates
>Cue "get well soon" handjobs
>>
I've been gone for a while, so correct me if I'm wrong, but has there really been, like, no new clop written for the thread in the last few months?
I mean, okay, I get it, just because it's the incest thread doesn't mean it has to be just taboo sex, but come on, every story should culminate in a detailed sex seen, right?
>>
>>31894907

>anon move out after another fight
>aunty belle allow him to live with her
>rarimom finally got what she want
>she actually improve her live
>become a famous fashionista
>anon does it too and get a great job and a healthy live married with his aunt

Happy ending for both.
>>
>>31894867
At least you're not the youngest one. All my other siblings are successful in school and in career, and here I am: some little fuckup who struggles with the basic responsibilities and expectations of life. Either my parents don't care and love me regardless, or they're really good at hiding their disappointment for me. If I were given the opportunity to find out which it was, I wouldn't take it.
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>>31894932
>improved her life
>end up delving into more cases of wine
>no son who'd gently ask her to stop out of concern for her wellbeing
>will forever remain bitter about another man leaving her like his father did
I don't think becoming a cat herding shut in who designs snuggies would be an improvement.
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>>31894869
>>31894859
I gotchu fampais. Time for some boner-inducing green

>A few short weeks later, after that whole Valentine's day fiasco, you had told Aunt Sweetie about what happened, and she took your side immediately.
>She was always the cool Aunt, and thought the things Mom had said to you were unforgivable.
>Although still in College, she offered to take you in.
>Mom didn't object in the slightest, but she did ask if you would still give her some money each month. She has bills to pay after all, and every little ounce helps.
>Plus you're only fourteen. Not much you can do. She controls your funds.
>It's great! Aunt Sweetie is so cool. Her roomates, Scootaloo, and AppleBloom are neat too.
>She told them your story, and you were met with "You poor thing" or "How could she say that to you?" and the like on the night you came there.
>Aunt Sweetie lets you sleep in her room on the floor. It's dirty, and you feel bugs crawl on you each night, but at least you're wanted.
>Days pass without incident, and you're free to play video games as much as you want, do whatever you want, and go wherever.
>Mom hasn't called since you left, but you know she's regretting it.
>One particular day, after a Fortnite Battle Royale match that dragged on for too long, you decided to stretch your legs, and see what the others were up to.
>You stroll out into the hall, your bones popping in satisfaction with each step as you near the kitchen.
>"...fford it."
>You stop short of entering, listening intently.
>That sounded like AppleBloom.
>"I know...I know. I was doing it to be nice at first, but I didn't think he'd be this much of a burden on our finances."
>Aunt Sweetie?
>"Well, I can't blame ya. None of us expected him ta be here this long."
>"No offense Sweetie, but he's useless! I mean, he's just a kid, but all he does is sit in your room, and play games day in and out. Does he even go to school?"
>"I don't know. I'm usually gone, so I can't tell."
1/
>>
>>31880357
>I Got Hay Stuck In My Ass Crack Sub-Edition

>Have a roll in the hay with hot cousin Applejack
>Apple Bloom takes one look at the back of your pants and the hay sticking up over the waistband
>She gives you the eyebrow-wiggles that say "I know that you know that I know"
>"Y'all want me to keep this from Big Mac, huh, cousin? Ah reckon Ah can think of a way to keep me quiet..."
>>
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>>31894946
You're a bad man.
>>
>>31894945

Who know, we are talking about fantasies and fiction here.

Maybe we can have a good ending for both. Sometime you need to remove your mistakes to have a better life. Not a happy ending for you, but this is better than have something that you regret every day of your life.
>>
>>31894945
Well do you really expect her son to stay after she straight up told him to his face that she regretted ever having him without even pretending to be sorry about it?

That is someone who deserves to be a miserable wreck of a human being.
>>
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>>31894946
I am skeptical of your stated intentions.
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>>31894946
>When the ones who say they care about you don't actually mean it
>When you find out they're only putting on smiles to be nice
>When you find out they immediately regret doing nice things for you (because it means having to be in your presence for longer)
Why are you playing off of my insecurities?
>>
>>31894949
>Ice cream at the nice place Applejack never takes her too because it's too expensive
>>
>>31894963

>bitch mom that don't love her son
>happy ending
>not dying alone like the useless whore that she is

Fuck off
>>
>>31894946
At this point I'm just genuinely curious if you're going to keep going with this.
>>
>>31894946
>That familiar feeling of your heart sinking crops up once more.
>"What did Rarity say? Does she want him back?"
>"No. She gets to manage his SSI check as his guardian so she's absolutely fine with the free money."
>"Maybe she could toss some of that government dosh our way. We need groceries."
>"Groceries your tubby nephew eats up Sweetie!"
"T-tubby...?"
>"Look guys, I'm sorry okay? I'll fix this, I promise!"
>"How?"
>"We have ta get rid of him, but we can't just toss him out on the street."
>Your cheeks feel warm with tears.
>"I've been working on that. I talked to Mom and Dad, and they're willing to take him in when they come back from their trip. Dad thinks he can make Anon into a man."
>You hear Scootaloo "Pfft".
>"Like anyone could turn that wimp into anything other than an autistic meal ticket."
>"Scootaloo!"
>"Well it's true."
>You grit your teeth, clenching and unclenching your hands repeatedly.
>Does no one want you? Is this your fate? Doomed to be a burden to your family and others?
>"Look, I'll go talk to him, and break the news. Wish me luck."
>You hear the loud screeching of a chair being pushed out, and are greeted with the statuesque form of your aunt.
>"O-oh! Anon! I was j-just coming to see you."
"..."
>She stands there awkwardly, rubbing her arm.
>"How long have you been there?"
"Since you decided to get rid of me."
>Applebloom and Scootaloo watch from the doorway closely.
>"Oh Anon! It's not like that! It's just too expensive for four people to live here! Not that-"
>She has the nerve to lie to your face. After all she said, she still can spew these lies with a straight face.
"You're as bad as mom. Both of you hate me for something that's not my fault. Maybe I should just kill myself, huh? Ease your troubles a little?"
>"Come on Anon. Don't be so melodramatic! I spoke to mom, and Dad. They can put you up for a while! You'll be able to sleep in a bed, and play games as much as you want!"
2/
>>
Jefe we're sorry, please come back
>>
>>31895007
Why do you hurt me so?
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>>31895007
You were the chosen one, Kirko. You were supposed to destroy the sith, not join them.
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>>31895007
"Until they decide I'm too much of a urden to keep around, and they hoist me off on the next relative."
>Sweetie frowns.
>"It's not like that. They're much more financially stable than we are, so it'd be a good fit for you."
>You narrow your eyes at her darkly.
>"Look. Just sleep on it. We'll talk more in the morning, and you'll see! Things will be great!"
"...."
>She places a hand on your shoulders, leading you back to the room.
>"It'll be okay. Trust me."
>Once inside, she closes the door, but not before saying "Sorry."
>Throughout the night, as you laid on the filthy floor, you could hear them outside, chatting and laughing. Music is even playing.
>You're not a fool. You know what's going on.
>A celebration.
>Your mom doesn't care what's happening to you as long as she gets paid.
>Your Aunt was just trying to seem morally righteous but didn;t want you either, unless she;s getting some type of incentive.
>Only one thing could make these people truly suffer for this evil. Only one action can set things on the correct path.
>You can cut off your Mother's finances and show the world just how wicked they are.
>You must die.
3/3

How was that? Boner inducing right? I'm gonna bin this lewd one off!
>>
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>>31895028
>>31895014
>>31894993
>>31894971
>>
>>31895042
>Cut to 5 years later
>Rarity's business is taking off
>She's meeting nice people and finally having the social life she always wanted
>She even has her eye on a handsome young man
>She and Sweetie have lunch together once a week
>>
>>31895048
No, I want to expand on the emotional pain. Embrace it and share it with everyone.
>>
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Thanks for playing, dick
>>
>>31895055
pls no
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>>31895067
>Being this salty over green
>Laments how much it reminds him of himself
It's content you faggot. Don't whine that tripfags don't give you shit, and then act like an SJW butthurt lesbina femnist when you get it.
>>
>>31895007
>>31894946
>>31886857
>>31895042
You know what? Fuck you, Kirko. I reject your reality and substitute my own.

>After realizing that he is well and truly alone in this world, Anon has a psychotic break
>The only reason he doesn't off himself, despite how good that would feel at this moment, is the fact that his very existence spites the people who hate him for no reason
>As expected, his family tosses him into a mental hospital and doesn't look back.
>While inside, Anon uses his omnipresent depression to fuel his creativity.
>Ends up writing a novel based on his real life expriences
>He doesn't try to publish until he's no longer a minor so his mother never sees a cent of it.
>By the time he gets out he's in a better headspace, and goes to live in a group home.
>Works a minimum wage job for a few years, while writing more, and saves up his money until he can publish his first novel.
>It becomes a major hit, and the sales rapidly propel him out of poverty.
>Completely reinvents himself. He dyes his hair and even legally changes his name to sever all ties to his old life.
>Anon happens to meet his mother and aunt again while working on his next book in a coffee ship
>They don't recognize him at all, as evidenced by the fact that they're both hitting on him.
>Anon decides to ruin them emotionally the same way they did him by making them fall in love with him, only to break their hearts.
>>
>>31894614
you fuckin know it man. . got 3 big bags of cinnamon jelly hearts, some sour patch kids conversation hearts that taste good but have baffling netspeak on them (the fuck is 'bae'?), and some heart-shaped reese's. Passed up the more fancy chocolates, but picked up a bar of awful, awful dollar-aisle chocolate from fucking russia, and got some sour mike and ikes that were surprisingly good
>>
>>31895090
Delete this or he’ll continue you fool!
>>
>>31895091
I'm a whore for chocolate (and also, the only non-chocolate valentine's day candy was sold out) so I only bought those big dumb heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. I... kinda had a bit of a hard time meeting the cashier's eyes, but I managed to get a haul of like $50 of candy for $13.

>You will never comfort your sister as she sadly picks at a heart-shaped box of Valentine's day chocolates that she bought for herself the day after Valentine's day
>Sexually
>>
>>31895103
But I want him to. I enjoy the pain.
>>
>>31895090
And then run away when they get pregnant, just like his father did, right?
>>
>>31895111
>dooming another kid to go through the same shit he did.

They don't deserve to have children.
>>
>>31895090
>put him in mental hospital
Why? He’s only thinking of suicide and he’s not depressed.
>for no reason he’s hated
Don’t the girls see him as a useless autistic drain on resources and a reminder to rarity of her not getting that abortion?
>dyed hair means different look
Except rarity says he looks like his father. I doubt she’d forget the face of a man she despises. Also Sweetie would be busy with a great job after graduating and engaged to someone twice as autistic. Button Mash.
>>
>>31895090
I'd probably read that.
>>
>>31895137
I'm just shitposting at this point, Anon. Whatever makes the prompt more interesting.
>>
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>>31894946
Fuck off. Reality is cruel enough and I dont want go through more shit even here.
>>
>>31895167
Filter it, it's just going to keep dumping joke greens and laughing at the ensuing cancer.
>>
>>31895137
>He’s only thinking of suicide and he’s not depressed.
>thinking about suicide
>not depressed

Really nigga?
>>
>It's been about a month since your cousin Pinkie Pie moved in with you and your parents.
>Says she wanted to get away from the rock farm, and "broaden her possibilities," whatever the hell that means.
>Who knows what Pinkie's motivations are, anyway?
>At first, her moving in seemed pretty normal. She has her own room, which she decorated with a frankly obscene amount of pink.
>She fit right in at your school, quickly making friends, even sharing some of your own.
>For a while, things were pleasantly exciting with her around.
>But, now, things have taken a turn for the awkward!
>She constantly seeks you in the hallways, wrapping you up in her arms from behind.
>"Hi, Nonny!" She would sometimes say, in a sing-songy voice, rubbing her hands down your chest.
>At lunch, she often sat next to you at the table.
>She'd rest her hand on your thigh, and lean into you, rubbing your shoulders together whenever you cracked even the lamest of jokes, cackling with laughter.
>”Oh Anon! You're so funny,: Pinkie would say, resting her head on your shoulder.
>She sounded so genuine. So sweet… Whenever she got close, you could smell the lavender in her hair, sneaking a peek down her loose shirt, and at her cleavage…
>You can feel the tent being pitched in your pants, and pray to GOD she doesn't notice, especially with her palm tracing your thigh, dangerously close to your groin.
>Every day is like this. Pinkie cuddles you whenever she can, regardless of the circumstance, while you hide an awkward erection with anything you can.
>Needless to say, loose shorts are a no-go at school…
>>
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>>31895258
>>
My day is ruined by this cruel green.
>>
>Apparently, Pinkie didn't get the memo…

>You sit on the island in the kitchen, pouring a bowl of cereal, smothering it in a layer of milk.
>”Morning, Nonny!” Pinkie says, surprising you with yet another hug.
“Hey, Pinkie Pie,” you return, keeping still, your cheeks flushing.
>You feel her breasts pushing into the small of your back as she leans into you.
>The hug seems to last for an eternity, your heart thumping in your chest.
>Finally, your cousin breaks the hug, tussling your hair.
>”Whatchya eatin'?” She says, walking around, going to the cupboards.
“Cereal.” You reply, simply, munching on the crunchy grains.
>”Awww, that's boring!” She huffs, opening the wooden doors.
>Her eyes light up with sudden enthusiasm “Hey! You should let me bake you something! Whatdya feel like? Cupcake? Turnover? Pie? Cake? Fritter? Brownies? Custard? Bread pudding?
“Uhh. Whatever you feel like baking is fine with me.”
>”I'll just make one of everything!” She says, turning around to look through the cupboards for baking supplies.
>Through your attempts at ambivalence, you completely missed what Pinkie was wearing, until now.
>She wears a thin pink tank top, her breasts filling it out, lifting up the base, revealing a little of her midriff when she moves.
>Her panties must've been a size or two too small for how little they covered of her nethers.
>Her ass cheeks just barely peek through them, revealing just the start of their curvature through the leg holes.
>Connected to them are her legs, big and shapely, but not overly fat. They have just the right amount of width to them to excite you in all the right ways.
>As she walks, they sway and jiggle, mezmorizingly. You have to fight to peel your eyes away. A few centering breaths, and a mouthful of cereal slowly bring you and your little man, from your excitement.
>Until she bent over to search through the cupboard…
>>
>>31895014
that is one strangely 'cast' crossover
>>
>>31895358
Time to go to sleep.
I'll continue tomorrow.
>>
>>31895106
you know the cashier got all the good stuff upon arriving at work in the morning
i fucking love 'chocolates' they're just usually too expensive even after a discount
I mean anything with ganache is heaven, and I love the various fillings and fucking coconut and shit but still.. hard to justify.
and not hard to make at home either.
>>
>>31895396
Looking forward to it
>>
>>31895194
everybody THINKS about it.
>>31895358
yes please
yo kirk if you're legit depressed or something and letting it out in your writing, like, we can talk or someshit. and if you're just trying to be playful and jerk people around as a joke, maybe.. yknow, give us a smile so we know that's the idea?
>>
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>>31895408
>giving it the benefit of the doubt
nigga you gon learn
and i hope you learn sooner than later
>>
>>31895416
you get from people whatever you inform them that you expect of them.
>>
Well that sure is some enjoyable chaos.

>>31895358
Yes, back on topick, moar plz.
>>
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>had some of the worst news ever possible come in
>Maybe I can run from my sorrows in the thread, just for a bit
>this
No appuls. Not tonight.
>>
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>>31895439
I can't offer you much, appul poster, but I can offer you this Hope everything turns out alright
>>
>>31895439
Just remember, that pain is A) what reminds you that good things exist and are different from the current things, and B) the consequence of having a functional sense of how much things suck or rock, something which without it you would be unable to enjoy the awesome ones.
Let's just get ourselves a little chocolate, get either naked or at least down to clothes we really don't care if we ruin, and just settle right down into that misery. Just sit right in the wound and let some of it coagulate on you. It's there, it's gonna be like that. It won't be forever, but it will never be like it was nothing. It's not like you CAN'T run, but you might as well not. and you have a whole bunch of strangers sending you vague wellwishes, and in the case of some of us, actual prayers. So it could be worse.
and it will be. Because that's just how things are. It's as if we dare them to get worse by being happy. But not for a while. and not very often.
>>
>You are greeted to a face full of your cousin's ass.
>It's clear where all the weight from her sweet tooth has settled, as the soft mounds billow out frin the overworked underwear.
>She sways her hips from side to side, humming to herself as she rummages through the cupboard, pans and pots carefully set aside and not allowed to clang together, Pinkie being surprisingly considerate of your sleeping parents.
>You watch as every motion moves her underwear further up her voluptuous ass, revealing more of the sizable cheeks, turning the panties slowly into makeshift Daisy Dukes.
>”Hey Anon, do you know if you have any muffin trays?” Pinkie asked, her head still in the cupboard.
Oh, god, Anonymous, pull yourself together! You think to yourself, swallowing hard, your mouth going dry.
“I - I don't think we have one, Pinkie,” you manage to stutter out, after clearing your throat.
>”Hmmmm” She hums, pensively. “Maybe it's on the lower shelf?”
>She bends down even lower, lodging her underwear deep in her crack, and you think you can make out her lips puffing out from the sides of her panties.
Oh fuck! Oh shit! If you weren't at mast before, you DEFINITELY were now!
“Uh, you know what, Pinkie,” you blurt out, suddenly, feeling ready to explode, in a couple ways. “How about I help you find them? That should make it quicker, right?”
You pop off the stool, walking around to the cupboard Pinkie is searching.
>”Aww, thank you so much, Nonny!” Only after you dismount the stool does Pinkie stand up straight and does the realization set in. Your massive erection will be right there for her to see, once you round the corner.

God, typing in the dark does not do wonders for speed.
>>
>>31890401
>Anon wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, or a prominent social butterfly.
>You had a tough time standing out anywhere, often prefering solace in his adventure books.
>Clubs weren't your thing, neither any of the functions the school threw.
>Often times you felt as if your head was in a fuzz, like you were looking at your life through a funhouse mirror.
>The morose of daily life started draining on you; School, home, bed. Schooo, home, bed. Ad nauseum.
>Your parents thought a change of pace was neccessary and sent you to spend a year with your aunt across country.
>You hadn't seen your aunt or either of your cousins since your were little, now you're curious how the years have been for them.
>There were a few things that struck you upon your immediate arrival.
>Your cousin Celestia, a few years your elder, was hoping for your utmost comfort when you came here.
>Her presence radiated positivity, almost overwhelmingly so, and your aunt couldn't stop gushing her accolades.
>Adults always loved how helpful and selfless she was around the neighborhood.
>Cheerleader captain, Mu Alpha Theta member, and Honor's Student.
>She was as popular as she was beautiful and held the crowd captive with her every word.
>Your little cousin Luna was pretty...weird, to say the least.
>She didn't inherit her sister's social acumem, and rarely was she in the forefront of school life.
>Her teachers noted how she dozed off in the back of class and frequently skipped out on assignments.
>She often couped herself in her room, only coming out of her respite for a brief and silent dinner.
>And while Celestia was often swarmed with gentlemen callers lined up by the door, her wan complexion and droopy eyelids meant Luna held no such amount of the boys' attention.
>There were even some murmurings Luna was involved in a stint that landed her in juvie for a couple of weeks.
>>
>>31895459
Tuck that shit into your waistband bruh evasive maneuvers
>>
>>31895439
Sorry to hear that appul poster, take care.
>>
>>31895464
I think this would rather call for "disciplinary actions".
>>
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>>31895447
It won't unless they find a cure for gunshots

>>31895454
>>31895468
Thank you, you're good people even if I don't know you.
>>
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>>31895358
> >Until she bent over to search through the cupboard…
Aaaaand I lost it
>>
>>31895439
Maybe some cute Tavi would help?

>>31895496
Oh shit.Well, medicine got better aver last 50 years, maybe they still have a chance?
>>
>>31895496

Oh no, appulnon, I'm sorry. Just...take care of yourself, alright?
>>
>>31895510
>"Cowbell? In a classical piece? If that's what the young people are 'getting jiggy' with these days, I suppose..."
>'Mom, Aunt Vinyl wasn't being serious.'
>"Ah. Once again her sarcasm was lost upon me. Thank you, love."
>>
>>31895524
> he doesnt get the reference
I'm doing it just this one time
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x64iyhl
>>
>>31894931
Issues did some like a week ago.
>>
>>31895461
>Needless to say adjusting took some time.
>Celestia, practically a saint, took your enrolling in her school in the best of moods, volunteering to show you around campus to get a feel for the environment.
>While you couldn't help but be thankful, it seemed as though someone always wanted Celestia's ear for something or other.
>Patient as she is, she always obliged them, before continuing the tour.
>Celestia was a well spring of knowledge and was insistant on you making good grades on your assignments to make a first impression, offering some tutoring after school and stating that her room is always open.
>In order to get properly acquainted with the school, however, Celestia noted that it's crucial to get involved in an extracurricular activity.
>And though you try your best to voice your dissent, your older cousin seemed adamant on helping you achieve an adequate social standing with your school peers.
>Her aunt mentioned the troubled mental state you had before you got here, and it seems Celestia is hellbent on preventing such a downward spiral from happening again.
>Overbearing as she might be, your cousin really seems to be looking out for you and wants you to make the most out of your experience here.
>Before long you two seperate and head to your respective classes.
>It wasn't until lunch time that you caught another glimpse at your handler; well groomed students all hovered around the table, with Celestia sharing a discussion with a variety of people.
>You opted not to disturb her, thinking it isn't worth diving in the midst of all those people, and went to eat your lunch in relative solitude, when you spot Luna at a table nearby chewing absent-mindedly on her food.
>>
>>31895258
YES
>>
>>31895583
We all know Celestia will end up as a THOT. Go for pure Luna.
>>
>>31895613
this
>>
>>31895408
>everybody THINKS about it
And you genuinely think what its not the sight of depression?
>>
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>>31895510
MORE
>>
>>31895613
Dont you dare to insult sunbun, fucker.
>>
>>31895636
Face the truth or fug the sense back into her
>>
>>31895583
>You decided to sit with Luna and plop your tray next to hers.
>Apparently she didn't notice your arrival considering she nearly jumped out of her skin when you spoke to her.
>You offered an apology but she cooly brushed it off and curtly asked what were you doing sitting here?
>Seeing as how you'll be sharing the same school for the year, you figured it would be nice to get acquainted with your little cousin and eat lunch with her.
>Luna rolled her eyes at you dubbing her your little cousin and reminded you she's only a year and a half your younger.
>She questioned whether or not you would rather hang out with her sister, but you state that she looked busy and, truth be told, you didn't feel like getting up to your knees in strangers to sit with her.
>She mumbled something about feeling a similar way until she goes back nibbling on some of the food on her tray.
>When you mentioned that her lunch went practically untoched, she said bluntly that she doesn't eat at school, and went back getting lost in thought.
>Seeing as how this attempted conversation wasn't as stimulating as you expected, you began shoveling cafeteria food in your mouth and pulled out a manga book from your backpack.
>'Mystery Vigilante, Mare-Do-Well', a manga that was a callback to your favorite tokusatsu shows you used to watch when you were a kid.
>After struggling against the ennui of school, you seldom found yourself without a volume of some sort in your hand to get lost in the gripping characters and dynamic action of a well-penned setting.
>The publisher ceased printing the translated copies of the series despite it still ongoing overseas, and while scans are openly available on the internet, you found yourself preferring the tactile sense of a paperback volume, cherishing its concrete nature as an anchor whenever you felt like floating off.
>>
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>>31895710
> cherishing its concrete nature as an anchor whenever you felt like floating off.
Not this shit again. Why don't you publish your green in paper, translated into 5-7 languages, and mail overseas to whoever subscribed to incest thread mailing list? Fucking fetishist faggots, I'm so fucking tired of this. They'd spend hundreds of dollars on tons of wasted wood, yet they cannot afford a tablet with good e-ink screen.
>>
>>31895439
SEE WHAT YOU DID KIRKO? FUCK YOU!
>>
>>31883158
>>31883286
>Cooler older sister Chryssi has often told Anon that she loves him more than anything in the entire world.
>She has to. It's her job, considering their drunkard parents don't love either of them enough, and she wants to do everything she can ti prevent her brother from becoming a highschool drop-out and fuck-up like her.
>So when she heard the news that Anon got his first girlfriend, Chrysalis saw that it was vital to arm him with as much information as she possibly could.
>She spent hours mentally preparing him for the eventuality of sex, stating the highlights, but mostly focusing on the do's, the don'ts, and the repercussions of any of the numerous bad events that could occur afterwards.
>Chryssi even went out of her way to buy him a box of condoms he could keep on-hand.
>Unfortunately he never got to use them since his girlfriend ended the relationship and told him she only went out with him as a joke and dare from her friends.
>Furious with the skank playing with her younger brother's heart, and worrying that her intensive lesson would be for naught, Chrysalis demanded repercussion.
>One day, she drove Anon to a hotel out of town and pulled a bottle of lube and the condoms she brought out of her purse.
>She told Anon that he was this close giving his precious virginity to some heartless hussie, and that his first time should be with the only person that loves him enough to make it special: her.
>So she stripped off all her clothes and unzipped his pants to begin the love making session.
>>
>>31895408
Oh I'm good Fampai. I'm just bullshittin around. Eliciting emotional response like that makes it much more fun when you drop something happier down. Like drinking tequila and biting into a lime. I'm just biding my time for when it's time "to bite into the lime". Plus it makes for good writing exercise.
>>
>>31895822
>They didn't open the condom box until he blew his third load, the first two in Chrysi's mouth and the other between her tits.
>They spent the entire afternoon using up the entire box of condoms and then some.
>The majority of the condoms were used for the copious amounts of anal sex Chrysi was crazy for, and even then she chanced blowing a couple of loads inside her.
>After basking in the afterglow, they both took a shower and drove to a restaurant and refueled before settling for bed into each others arms.
>>
>>31880357
Where did Fables go?
>>
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>>31895524
You ruined it anon! You may have just cost humanity its greatest symphony ever composed! I spit on you sir! SPIT!
>>
>>31895827
>Anon lay awake in the darkness of his sister's room
>His lips curled in a cunning smile
>All according to keikaku
>>
>>31895978
> putting your bootleg trollface mask on
> playing this on your cowbell xylophone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc_xfLCtsMo
>>
>>31895042
>The only option.
You know there is another option.
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks..
>>
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>>31896126
Gib moar milkies, madman
>>
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>>31896044
What. The. Fuck?
>>
>>31896126
Only one thing to do then!
>>
>>31896191
What is wrong?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_moWowYLqI0
>>
>>31894069
Interesting. What about Aria and Sonata?
>>
>>31895548
>implying
hey thanks though, board could always use more simps ready to spoonfeed when they think someone doesn't get muh refs.
>>
>>31895727
Are you getting mad at the smarmy "books > ebooks" folk (who are paradoxically much younger than the people who ought to feel nostalgic for physical written work), or is this because he's a weeb? Because fuck that guy in both of those cases.
>>
>>31895828
Don't worry, he'll be back soon to reassure us he'll be writing again. Then in a few threads from now, he'll make a post reassuring us that he'll be writing again soon.
>>
>>31895496
Anything to do with Sminem shooting up that school?
>>
Which would be hotter: getting knocked up accidentally by your brother? Or on purpose by your father?
>>
>>31896362
First one, I don't mind mongolian cave paintings periodicals. And those arguments are as stupid as cheap romantic novels you buy at the train stations, or outdated by 20 years or so. I had a fucking CRT screen back in the day that was better for reading than 75% of printed media in my area, because half of it is impossible to find and other half is either damaged or has a fucked up font or something.
>>
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>>31896397
Why not both?
>>
>>31896397
Being the brother and knocking up your sister on purpose, consensually.
>>
>>31896126
I remember those greens where little brother Anon helps Flutters with her milk problem.
>>
>>31896126
>little head
>>
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>>31895439
Hope it gets better apul poster
>>
>>31896649
>Waking up in the morning to this sight of your sis.
>>
>>31895439
Battle Brother AppulPoster is down, I repeat. Converge on unit, appreciation mode.

>>31890562
>”That’s prob’ly on account a ya bein’ all zoned out by his pullin’ paper from nowhere. Plus, Ah don’ mind him jus’ skimmin’ it outta mah head. Side effect a Twilight exposure.”
>You shrug it off, and idly chit-chat about mostly normal shit as you wait for your meals.
>School starting back up.
>Some chores on the farm you need to figure out.
>Trying to argue that ‘work’ is not a hobby.
>Followed by you trying to find out what the fuck a hobby’s definition is online, without access to your phone.
>It didn’t go well.
>Dinner itself goes much of the same, and apparently you were both hungrier than you thought.
>It’s no surprise Jack finished first.
>You’re still idly nibbling on a fry as you think, and try to avoid thinking too much about HER.
>It’s really tricky, considering trying not to think about something involves thinking about something.
>Especially when the something is a someone sat across from you, idly wiping her mouth with a napkin.
>Snuggling back into the booth, she sighs contently.
>Dontthinkaboutitdontthinkaboutit
>fuck she’s cute
>SHIT
>Surprisingly, Mal doesn’t materialise to slap your shit and decry you as a dirty cousin lover, so you got that going for you.
>”How’s yers?” She asks, cracking open an eye.
“’S fine.”
>”Looks like yer strugglin’. Ah spy with mah li’l eye.. half a huge burger an’ a heap a fries. Want a hand?”
>You pluck another fry from your plate, jabbing it at her.
“Firstly, mine. Secondly, how in fuck’s name are you still hungry?”
>She attempts a pout.
>”Ah work a lot. Body’s built to put it away, y’know?”
“Put it away WHERE?”
>”Muscle. “ She flexes an arm idly, bicep tensing.
>”Also gotta fill out these curves with a teeeeeeny bit a paddin’.” She pats her hip, hidden by the table.
>>
>>31896748
Don't just dissapear now Badly.
>>
>>31896722
>She claims to have nightmares
>"Claims" being the operative word here
>"They only go away if I snuggle you tight, Anon. Make sure not to let go of me, okay?"
>>
Anyone got the link to that Derpy story where Anon and Derpy are siblings, their parents die, and Dinky thinks that they're her parents? It's not in the thread paste.
>>
>>31896748
Thank you for the updates Badly, been dying for some Apple.
>>
>>31895459
Oh, shit. I'm awake

>You stop, frozen in place, Pinkie looking at you with a wide smile.
“Hold on just a sec,” you say, turning around, adjusting your shorts.
>You feign playing with the pull string, trying to lay your cock along the thicker waistband.
>The damn thing doesn't want to cooperate, flaring and twitching, thinking it's time to play.
God damn it. Please, just sit still!
>After wrestling with it for far too long, you get your little man into a sensible position.
You turn back around, with a smile. “Sorry. These things are too big on me, they tend to fall off.”
>”That's fine! Gosh knows I've never had that problem, hahaha!” She giggles, snapping the tight waistband on her panties.
"Yeah, I noticed." You answer quietly, turning the corner, carefully keeping your movements slow.
>You manage to get to the cupboard, thankfully, without incident.
“Let's see. What did you need?” You ask, leaning into the cupboard.
>”Baking sheets, molds, bread pan, cake pan, muffin tray, pie tins… Oh! And a mixing bowl and stand mixer, with measuring cups and ingredients!
“So much for a lazy Sunday.” You chuckle, searching through the supplies.
>You set the items on the counter, piling them up on top of each other.
“There. That should be everything I could find.”
>”Yay! Thank you, Nonny!” Pinkie wraps around you, nuzzling her head into your chest.
“S-sure.” You mumble, resting your hand on her head.
>”Wanna help me?” She asks, looking up at you. “I wanna spend time with my favorite cousin!
>There it is again. The smell of her hair, the feeling of her bare legs against yours, when she gyrates her hips back and forth.
“But, I don't know how to bake…” The idea did sound genuinely interesting, but all this distraction was too much!
>>
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Would you give your Southern cousin babies so they can inherent the farm?
>>
>>31897566
Counter-question: why wouldn't you?
>>
>>31895007
This is all that fucking faggot that hated Kirko so much's fault. Now he hates all of us.
>>
Test
>>
>>31897566
>You will never have slow romantic sex with Applejack in the barn while there is a storm.
>>
>>31885000
W-Woah Nelly...
>>
>>31886197
Yo b that shit cash cash nigga
>>
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>>31897431
> ywn cook little bit of everything with your cute af sister
>>
>>31897632
Something something bun in the oven.
>>
>>31897596
>You will never hear Applejack's heavy breaths drown out the rain as you put your hands spred her firm freckled ass as you start prodding her enterance.
>>
>>31897431
>”Don't worry, I had to learn by myself, so we can teach you twice as fast!
>Pinkie breaks the hug, grabbing the mixing bowl and a few ingredients.
>She effortlessly measures out the ingredients, cracking eggs, and pouring vanilla adding them to the bowl.
> She whispers to herself, bending her back to closely inspect the consistency, giving you another sneak at her bubble ass.
>”There!” She says, loudly, snapping your attention out of your daydream, and onto her face.
“”All you need to do is mix that batter together, until it's niiice and creamy! Then, we're gonna put it in this cake mold, and bake it! I'm gonna go preheat the oven, okay?”
>You nod, looking at the alien contraption. Lowering the blades into the batter, you search for the “on” switch. Finding a knob, you crank it as far as it'll turn…
>The mixer angrily whirrs to life! It spits batter everywhere! On the counter, on you, on the wall behind you! And, of course, on Pinkie Pie.
“Oh, shit!” You quickly shut off the machine, but the damage is done. The room is a mess and both of you are covered.
>Pinkie turns around, surveying the damage. “Uhh, maaaybe I should handle the baking from now on.”
>Having her back turned to you, the batter splattered all over her back and butt.
>Batter drips down her legs, tracing the musculature of her thighs, dripping onto the floor.
“I'm so sorry, Pinkie! I'll clean this up!” You hastily go to grab a handful of paper towels.
>She giggles, grabbing your wrist. “It's okay, Nonny! This isn't the first time my baking has destroyed a kitchen. Let's get ourselves cleaned up first, okay? Can you help me?”
>She walks off, toward the bathroom, still dripping batter with each step.
“Help you? With what?”
>>
>>31897674
>Anime-level convenient clumsiness.
melikes
>>
>>31895042
Kirko. Take your meds dude
>>
>>31897678
Hey, plot contrivances for the sake of lewd are worth it.
>>
>>31897694
Hey, I like such plot contrivances. Lewd away, sir!
>>
>>31897583
It’s because it was all of the thread. Don’t scapegoat one anon for what multiple anons did. I say this is well deserved
>>
>>31897684
I don’t know about you but I thought the lewd was nice
>>
>>31897716
Yeah it was hot. But sad boners are a weird thing
>>
>>31897725
The one thing we all have in common with kirko bangz green and our boners is we all feel sad after the climax
>>
>>31897746
Come on man. That's too real
>>
>>31897596
Yeah, I read that doujin too. Good taste
>>
>>31896748
>Not an outright invitation, but enough she should get the message.
>You snag your coffee cup, and take an experimental sip.
>It’s still at the perfect temperature.
>You squint at it.
“Try the coffee.” You nod at her cup.
>Chewing, she follows your eyes.
>“Why?” She asks, through a mouthful of food.
>Apparently confusion fucked up the table manners region of her brain.
>Poor Granny.
>All that hard work for nothing.
“Because it’s still warm. Somehow.”
>Jack sets down the rest of your burger she has appropriated.
>She swallows, clearing her mouth before taking a sip.
>”Huh. Ain’t that somethin’. Wonder how they do that?”
>Maybe you could ask
>You slowly turn your head to see Mal stood there expectantly.
>Yeah, fuck it, not even strange anymore.
>You point towards the coffee.
>”Forgive my interruption, is something wrong with your coffee?”
“No, it’s just.. still warm?”
>”Ah, yes. Another small enchantment, powered by myself, that allows the coffee to be continually kept at a certain temperature.”
>You swirl the dark liquid around the cup.
“Never heard of that before tonight.”
>”Really, now? Where was it you lived before coming here?”
>”City boy over there’s from Fillydelphia.” Jack nods at you.
“Yeah. And coffee shops were pretty much the only place I left the apartment for.”
>Mal rubs his chin thoughtfully, occasionally reaching up with a finger to smooth his moustache.
>”Tell me, were these establishments part of a chain?”
“Uh, yeah. Youngbucks, Cesto. Things like that.”
>He snaps his fingers with an affected ‘eureka!’ face.
>”It would be rare for a chain to bother hiring a unicorn of talent significant to allow for them to enchant that many mugs. Especially in such a large city. Folks coming and going so often. No, no. Simply not effective.”

When will my love Kirko return from the war?
>>
Why do I keep fucking forgetting lines. DAMMIT.

>>31896748
>You chew for a moment, before pushing the plate a little more to the centre.
>>31897811
>>
>>31897811
Why worry about Kirko when you can have a harem of sub writefags?
>>
>>31897834
Because Kirko's my nigga. ;_; When I failed to hold the thread, he rode in and held the line.
>>
>>31897863
He'll probably be back for real eventually, currently he's writing for /nmp/, most likely because they don't try to chase out writers.
>>
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Silly burgers, Slavs will soon rule.
>>
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>>31897925
Nice б8 м8
>>
>>31897925
Nah, drujiche. We are on our own path of selfdestruction.
>>
We beat nmp in hitting bump limit first!
>>
Onii-chan, please come back!
>>
>>31895502
>panties didn't snap at the side
I know that's not how cloth works but I needed that to happen at the end of that gif
>>
>>31895823
Okay just try not to squirt lime juice into people's eyes mmkay?
>>
>>31895827
condoms for anal? does one of you have a disease?
>>
>>31898107
I squirt it inside bby
>>
>>31897651
Fuck buns and ovens, mere having a nice time together in the kitchen is a thing to murder a small village and rape a fire hydrant for.
>>
>>31898021
>Implying that's important
Nobody cares about /r9k/'s favorite thread.
>>
>>31897834
You sick fuck. How dare you not care about our favorite depressed faggot
>>
>>31898114
>>31898114
That's how you avoid disaster in general
>>
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>>31898141
Well he's not my favorite. Some other writefag whose style I prefer in this thread is.
More generally I dislike when too many people praise and/or hate on a single fag. That said I enjoy all the non-troll[/spoilers] greens in this thread, I'm glad we got a couple of new writefags in the past...3 months? I hope they continue and grow.
>>
>>31898183
messed up the spoiler, tee-hee
>>
why must writing be such a chore. I wish I could feed a computer my outline and let it just expand everything according to basic algorithms, then I could go back in and tweak and add.
>>
>>31898219
Less complaining, more writing. Back to it, wordslave!
>>
>>31898141
>depressed faggot
Appulposter doesn’t write though
>>
>>31897882
>implying we want him back
>>
>>31895823
But limes also taste like shit.
Nope, I can't see any positive outcome to the Rarity story.
Well, I can, but those outcomes would be considered "edgy." But oh so satisfying.
>>
>>31897674
>”With cleaning up, silly!” She says, grabbing a towel, walking into the bathroom.
>Your cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“Can't you do that yourself?” You call out, your cock filling your waistband again.
>”Well, yeah, but I don't want you to have wait to take a shower.” She retorts, the sound of water splashing into the tub.
“I guess that makes sense. But I can wait, really…” You turn the corner, peering into the bathroom.
>Pinkie is bare ass naked! Her panties are around her ankles as she steps through them.
>She turns to look at you. “You sure? It'd only take a second.”
“No, r-really, I think I can wai - “
>She walks out to meet you in the hall, her snatch in the open air.
>You can feel your muscles tremble as she approaches, you heart pounding.
>You turn your head, closing your eyes tightly.
>You can feel her rest her hand on your shoulder.
>She turns your head to face her. ”Look at me.” She orders, her voice uncharacteristically stern.
>She speaks up. “Anonymous, relax. I get it, I'm naked. It's not that special. Really. Once you see it a few times, you've seen it a thousand times.”
>Taking a shaky breath, you open your eyes, greeted by Pinkie's pretty face and wide smile.
>”There. That wasn't so bad, was it?”
“No. I guess not.” You chuckle, as Pinkie backs away.
>As she does, she peels off her tank top, her breasts falling out onto her chest.
>”Ta-da!” She laughs throwing it into the bathroom. "See, you didn't burst into flames!"
"I feel like I'm about to…" You admit, flushed with warmth.
>”Hee hee hee. Your turn!” Pinkie says, excitedly.
>Reluctantly, you slide your shirt over your head, throwing it on the floor.
>”Shorts, too!” She says, still looking you in the face.
>You turn your head again, slowly sliding down your shorts, kicking them aside, your member at full attention.
>>
>>31898227
alright but you guys have to like this because I'm doing it instead of masturbating and because i'm including nudity embarrassment fetish and I know I'm not the only one here who likes that and the way it ties into incest since families usually have different standards from others
>>
>>31898370
You better put this in a pastebin you person of substantial writing skill.
>>
>>31898370
>pinkie takes a firm hand with getting naked and looking
hell yes please
>>
>>31898536
>except she only demands Anon not make a big deal over her nudity because the idea of the two of them being in any sort of relationship, sexual or otherwise, is so absurd that it didn't even enter into her mind
no please
>>
>>31898559
hey don't insert that bummer in there! she didn't say anything of the kind..
>>
So who's going to make the new thread?
>>
>>31898228
kek
>>
>>31898683
Give me a sec.
>>
>>31898836
>>31898836
>>31898836
New thread is up lads.
>>
>>31895494
Such as a dishonorable discharge?
>>
>>31897431
All thought lines need to be greentext, also put in 'marks' . Do it right man. How are you fucking up like this if you lurk here?
>>
>>31897674
>“”All you need to do is mix that batter together, until it's niiice and creamy! Then, we're gonna put it in this cake mold, and bake it! I'm gonna go preheat the oven, okay?”
Needs to be a greenline.




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