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Pic semi related to mine.
>"A waiter!?? With your qualifications?!?!"
>"You squander your talents!"
>"I don't care if no one's hiring, you quit your job this instance and find one worthy of an engineer!"

>TFW your waifu would be disappointed in you
>TFW still get like 18 per hour for doing next to no work....

I'm doing my best!
>"Anon, forgive me but, I do not approve of your current occupation. No one should do the manual labor you do for such pitiful pay, and I would think that term you coined..."wageslave"...is somewhat apt."
"Its the best I can do for now sweetheart, I am quite lacking in job experience after all. It hurts a bit when your favorite grocer, who happens to offer not bad wages, keeps declining all your job applications. I'm lucky I got this job, not all anons are fortunate enough to have friends that can get them hired."
>"I would hope that you do not decide on getting comfortable with this routine, anon. This sort of life is unbefitting of you. To maintain the workings of this "course" and its boring sport... Tis upsetting."
"Don't you worry. We'll be on to bigger and greener golf courses once I'm done with this place."
"Kidding, besides, enough money is saved for that degree. If all else fails, I have a backup plan. Things will work out for us".
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"Smirk all you want mute horse, I'm the one who fixes your gear when you break it."
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>"Truly? A guard for the security of a hospital? You spend your days being attacked by violent drug addicts and ensuring that the mentally ill do not end their own lives? All for minimum wage?"
>"Surely you are not proud of such lowly heights, Anonymous..."
Well maybe in YOUR fucking time any asshole could walk into a police station and get hired for the job, but these days, it's actually stupidly hard.
Whose your waifu?
why are you getting that kind of wage bro, and why are you complaining? those are around 140 hours per day man.
I work in a busy restaurant and am not a complete retard. With these two might elements combined I am, the very best thing a restaurant could ask for.
Minimum wage plus tips is how I get that much.
However, I work part time not full time.
And I'd really rather get a real job. One my waifu would be proud of.
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>"I'm going to stop you right there anon, you can try to make it sound grander than it is but what you're really saying is 'I pick things up and put them down'."
>"Why would I even keep you as a slave? I already have worker drones to move my stuff around."
>TFW you could legit be an asset to your waifus life!
Feels good bro.
I-I do it really fast and work very h-hard.
I-I'd make a good guard too....
You should really try and be a bouncer at this point.
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>"Oh please anon, you can't even fly, you'd get lost in one of the changing tunnels and starve to death if I actually let you roam around the hive and the last thing I want is some decaying monkey stinking everything up."
>"Now go be a good boy and shoo, your entire existence is so devoid of love I don't even want to waste a cocoon on you"
Because I've got a big day cock and cum in 10 seconds.
I could sire millions of minions in a month.
going from
>getting into minimum wage fights with angry, drunk, drugged up, suicidal, mentally afflicted, drug-seeking, attention-seeking, homeless losers because I told them they're legally not allowed to leave
>getting into minimum wage fights with angry, drunk, drugged up, mentally afflicted, physical confrontation-seeking, testosterone-boosted/brain cell deficient tough guy chads at a bar/club because I told them that they need to leave

I want to move UP, not sideways.
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You lack the proper equipment
You take bribes as a bouncer Anon.
It's in the work culture.
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Where there's a will there's a way.
I see you have a good head on your shoulders anon
I'm not big/intimidating enough to be a bouncer. Any chad who's put even 2 months worth of effort into weight lifting would take a look at my shapeless arms, scoff, and tell me to fuck off. I can tell someone that they need to fucking do X or else Y is going to happen, but the body that threat is coming from doesn't command a lot of respect or intimidation
>"So you're saying you just sit around all day and type stuff?"
>"And you get paid 35 bits an hour plus benefits to do this?"
>"And you're unhappy with this?"
"The company just sucks the soul out of me. I used to program for fun in my free time, this takes the joy away completely"
I feel you. I've been working at Oracle with a starting salary $50/hr with health benefits, after 1 year I'm eligible for $12k/month+unlimited PTO, but I'm only 3 months in and I can't fucking stand this place. I've been interviewing around and I can't wait to put in my 2 weeks notice. When I tell this to my old friends they think I'm crazy because most of them are in dead-end jobs. Sometimes I think I am crazy.
What requirements do you need for a job like that? Any degrees or just self taught?
Degrees are a must, it's a big fucking company, they can be extremely picky. Most of my coworkers have masters degrees, the others have bachelors, the only people with no college degrees (that I know of) are the security, cafeteria, and janitorial staff.
We are supposedly able to teach ourselves on the job, but in practice we are expected to learn new shit outside work, we're watched like hawks for downtime.
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>I work retail.
>She works in a delivery office.

>Dead-end job vs career
Here's a simple analogy.
You are running a race.
You can jog at a steady relaxed pace and come in 12th place.
Or you can push yourself to your limit, work as hard as you can and possibly come in 2nd or even 1st.
Is the prize of 1st place worth the time and effort you put in to reach it.

You're not crazy, you've just been pushed from a young age to consider simple work as bad because we're at the point where everyone can easily be replaced unless you have a specialized skill set, and your parents wanted 'a better life' for you, which translates into better education.
The problem is that most of the population subscribed to this, so we're in the situation right now of everyone being overqualified.
Couple that with mass unqualified immigration and increasing amounts of automation and you've got a steadily more explosive powder keg brewing.
There's going to be some serious shit within the next decade or so.
Not sure how Glim Glam would react to me being a postal worker.
Delivery, counter, or internal?
Internal, sorter.
Flatsorter, actually.
What company do you work for? What is your degree in?
I want to work for a large IT company like that.
Got any advice for an 18 year old looking to get into the computer science and IT industry?
She's a fucking neet. I doubt she cares.
>Is the prize of 1st place worth the time and effort you put in to reach it.
In my case, yeah. I want a stable income and not have to worry about bills and shit being paid each month. I don't need the nicest car or biggest house but I want to have a decently comfy life where I don't have to worry about money too much. That's my prize for coming in first
By the language, I'd say Rarity. Possibly Luna or Celestia
Fuck you.
My Glim Glam is gainfully employed now.
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Well, at last carrying soil and various gardening shit steadily makes me more fit, is easy and saves me some cash.
That's enough, right?
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Well we both work in food service. She serves sushi, I serve burgers and McNuggets. She would probably feel indifferent about it since she would understand I'm just a freshman in college working towards a degree so I can get a legit job.
Oh yeah. She's the professor of commie studies at the Frankfurt school of Equestria now.
This is your husbando for tonight. Say something nice to him.
Made me laugh.
Have a (you)
He’s ugly
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We'll be post scarcity soon enough Anon. Don't give up.
>"..It's shit and you could be doing way better."
I feel kinda bad for having a proper job now...
>"Please stop yelling at me Anon..."
>"I know how hard you work...."
>"I-Im trying to go back to school Anon."
>"I know that no one becomes a lawyer over night but I-I really don't want to....."
>"Y-yea dear... I'll go make dinner..."

>Tfw only want to make your waifu feel like shit for having a worst job than you.
>Tfw you want to financially support her and move towns so she has no friends and is completely alone.
>Tfw you want to make her feel like she's walking on eggshells everyday.

I just want to be the abusive husband that I know I'm destined to be. With a cute little wife that's terrified of Me.
here's that reply you wanted
>tfw she loves the smell of McDonalds on you after you get off from work and wants to make love
>environmental scientist
I'll have to teach her how to accept advice on running her farm; she clearly needs help.
Though I have to say, since nature works in a completely different way in Equestria I'd probably have a lot of catching up to do before I knew what I was talking about.
>"Anon, what's thot patrol?"
>flight student
>rainbow dash
Probably excited about common interests but frustrated by the regulations and bureaucracy that come with human flight
>"All you do is read dusty old law books and go to class all day? Anon, this doesn't sound like very much fun."
>"One time I talked to Mayor Mare about the laws and she told me she can't get a 'restraining order' lifted no matter how much pull she has!"
"Ooh, what is this "bar" you keep talking about passing? Do they have punch?"
I too went to law school.
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Something along the lines of
>"Oh, that'd a little similar to what Luna does. She would definitely relate to your frustration."
I work at customer support, answering e-mails.
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>So you once even went to university, but now you just put things on a shelf? I understand if ya don't like it Anon, put you gonna pull through, ya hear me? Things can get better, just don't give up"
"Sure AJ, sure..."
Almost done with my first year. What are you doing now, Anon?
Posting on /mlp/
What are the requirements of being a postal worker? I'd love a comfy federal job.
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>"So, like, you create sound effects, build and tune speaker systems, mic up instruments and singers, mix front-of-house and monitors, and you also record in studio?"
"Yeah. I'm a sound engineer."
>"I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds pretty rad, dude."
"Would be if it weren't for the people. Love the music, though."
>"Far out, man."
>"You've been pushing a broom and cleaning toilets at night... for nearly a YEAR?"
"I-I'm the best in the store! I get piles of trash bigger than I am from places no one else goes, and make everything spotless! People count on me and think the other guys are lazy!"
>"Are they promoting you to a job with authority and some better pay?"
"...No, I took a few off days to watch movies with my friends, so they act like I'm 'borderline' cus two more call-outs would kill me. Right now they're just... increasing my workload."
>"Why are you still there?!"
"Because I had to send 1500 applications to even get this! It took me eight months straight with a part-time job to get the bottom of the barrel, and if I spend all day doing that now instead of making things and depressurizing I'm going to go crazy and put my fist through a window or something!"
>"But you have a degree!"
"Well, no one told me that Communications students get fuck-all until it was too late to swap out!"
>"You have to do SOMETHING! Where are you going to end up in five years?!"
"I don't know! If I stay here long enough they'll have to scale me up the ladder sooner or later! Or I'll get lucky and I'll find a better opportunity, doing... I don't fucking know, something!"

Seconding this. Is it comfy shit where you drive around a route every day and just deal with weather, or is there something nasty and hidden about it that makes people "go postal"?

We fucking better be. This generation better not give up and NEET out just short of utopia.
People pay me to tell them what they're doing wrong despite the fact I'm rarely actually qualified to comment on their work.
Fuck man I don't even know how the ponies would react to that.
Adagio is literally homeless. I'm sure she would be content that she has someone supporting here, rather than being pissy.
Pulled up some info on postal workers.
Seems like a sorta low paying but very comfy job.
>"So, you say hi to people and bring food to tables for a living? Do you at least get to run while doing that? Anon, if you're not happy there, then do something else. Like, be an athlete or something! Or start your own restaurant, can't be that hard, right?"
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Sunset seems to still have some anger issues, but even with that in mind I don't think she'd be excited about the idea of me being in the service.
Stop trying to come into the bathrooms while I'm cleaning them!

Trips confirm homeless Dagi, but she's not going to put up with someone she cares about being in an unambitious dead-end for very long.

Thanks anon. That's ten grand more than I make now, and I could probably listen to audiobooks and shit too. God, I'm jealous.
Isn't it interesting that the burden of "Austerity Measures" always seems to fall on those who are already leading pretty austere lives?


how do i explain flying for the military?
That depends on which branch you fly for.

Man, you're gonna be a great lawyer one day. All you need is the cocaine habit and a few girls on the side to cheat on your wife with.
>I play video games all day and file hurt feelings reports when people call me a fuccboi
Long time sorter, I'm maxed out at $28/hour.
Then there's lots of overtime.
What are the requirements to get the job?
US Citizen, if male you had to sign up for Selective Service.
Pass the postal 473 test.
Meet the requirements of the actual listed posting.
Lot of times you'll get hired as a temp and have to wait for conversion to career.
The hardest part is surviving Postal Logic. You will be entering a counter-intuitive environment and it can wreck your thinking.
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What I do right now is great. Run a giant machine that sorts magazines, listen to audio books, or if I'm moody, pony music.
Lots of times I'm paid to do absolutely nothing because the supervisors are morons.
It depends on where you end up, it can be comfy. Or it can make you "Go Postal".
I just wish I could come home to a real live, loving Glim Glam.
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>"Wow Nonny it must be fun getting to see all the students go by while you clean the school"
"It really isn't. Its very depressing actually."
>"Buuuut you made friends with the lunch ladies and your the HEAD Janitor ANNNDDDD your office has a vending machine!"
"Today the basement flooded and I considered drowning myself in it to end my suffering."
>"Cheer up Nonny,once you get out of your funky wunky you can start writing again, leave this job and make loads of money and buy snacks and go to parties and..."
Pinkie, Id have to write several high selling books to make enough royalties to live off of. I haven't typed anything in months.
So I am.
I do removals and mow lawns very part time.
I have a bunch of IT related qualifications but no one cares because "xD no experience, also we don't have insurance to take you for free either."

I'm sure she wouldn't mind, i get by just fine and i have a lot of hobbies.
As long as i have some passion for something then she would admire me.
>"It's time to get a job Anon."
>Getting launched out the door with magic isn't as fun as it sounds
>Especially if it's moon horse doing the launching
I'm not sure if Celestia would approve of me profiting off of war (Private Security Contractor), or my previous job in the military.
Mildly aroused would be her reaction most likely.
As well as her trying to hit you up for some tech. Maybe trade some Tang for a discount.
Hah, I like the idea of Celestia secretly being turned on by strong soldier types.

Though she's SOL if she wants me too hook her up with weapons or equipment, I'm just on contract and the last thing I need to do is steal company firearms for a magical cartoon pony.
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>Not abusing company position for your waifu
Shame on you, anon. I don't care how nice your job is, your waifu needs some goddamn human weapon superiority.
If she could guarantee me a spot in Equestria, away from this fucked up world? Shit yeah, I'd steal stuff for her. Fuck this company and this shitty place, I'm gonna go live with pone.
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That's the spirit, Anon!

Also, nice dubs
I wouldn't risk losing a job just because it benefited my waifu.
My needs come first.
>"At least you're trying to get out of that crappy job. You're better than this, I just know it."
I'm not into that hippie/weed culture, but Tree Hugger is still a 10/10 waifu imo
I don't think many girls like their man smelling like McDonalds, that would be quite an exotic fetish. Besides, I work graveyard which is mostly cleaning and stocking so I usually smell of sweat and coffee (sometimes biscuits which smell like heaven).
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Your waifu finds your lack of dedication disturbing, anon.
Of your waifu really loved you, she would understand the importance of you not risking your job for her.
The mlp universe and EQG universe is filled with niche fetishes.
I wouldn't be surprised if one of the girls had a braaap fetish.
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She wouldn't talk to me.
Damn, I used to work there back when they let you wear t-shirts under your vest
>"Wait, so you do nothing but leech off your parents? I'm a young adult and I can live on my own!"
I'm not sure how AJ would feel about Tech Support.
>having a job
>most likely eligible for autismbux
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"Tis" partially correct. Luna.
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I'm quality control at an engine manufacturing facility, so she might be put off that most of the work here is dirty and oily, but that that my job is making sure the engines are perfect when they leave here.

She should be happy to know that I will sometimes wear a button up and bow-tie when everyone else is wearing ratty old t-shirts.
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>"You mean you just sit at home all day and read and write? That sounds kind of nice actu—"
>"Oh, well didn't you say that you studied physics before, couldn't you just go back and—"
>"Well I'm sure there are plenty of things you could do if you just look in the right places! Have you tried—"
>live in Russia like I do
>be a cashier
>have a 2$ per hour
(No,really,it is a average paid by cashiers, by all it's about 300$ a month)
It's all about cost of living and purchasing power, my dude.
No! He's very handsome! I would kiss him on the penis!
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She'd probably be concerned as to why I work a shitty second job as a driver in the weekends when I already have a cushy contract gig that pays well in the weekdays, to which I would respond with my student debt and house bills.

Turns out adult life fucking sucks here in the real world, who would have thought?

Give me the fucking portal to Equestria already so I can live easy just by making cute dresses and shit.
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>"So you spend your day fixing those computer thingies?"
>Yep! All day long.
>"And you fix allll the ones in the school? Wow Anon, that sounds like a lot of work."
>Well, I mean, it can be. It can get hard, but I enjoy it.
>"Oh, that's so super-duper awesome to hear! Being happy with what you do is the bestest!"
>Heh, well I have my coworkers to thank. They're good people, and we have a lot of fun together.
>"That makes it even better! You have friends there at work AND you have fun doing the work itself! What more could a stallion ask for?"
>Man, Pinkie. The word is man.
>"Nonny, your Earth words are really weird."
>I know, I know. So, cupcakes?
What drones? Last I checked you solo
>Imagine if the company you are working for were spying your computer for security reasons.
>Imagine the reaction of the people spying on you after reading how you would steal weapons from them in order to become a horse princess's husband
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>Not enjoying to be called a stallion by your horse waifu.
On the other hand, I'm happy for you anon
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>"A trains-lay-tore? What kind of job is that, Nonny?"
>"Oh, so here in your world ponies from other lands speak differently, and your job is to make sure everyone can understand each other?"
>"Wowie, it's like hundreds of parties going on at once and you can only join if you know the secret code!"
>"You should tell Twilight about this! She's been obsessed with non-pony stuff lately and would love to help you with those Joor-mane and Rush-in texts of yours!"
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Como hiciste para conseguir un trabajo así de asombroso amigo mío?
You gonna be ok bud?
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Probably not but my pride won't let me seek help or off myself. Im in a comfy middle.
I feel ya. Asking for help sucks and doesn't usually work, but suicide is still too pathetic.
>"You run your own business? What do you do in it?"
"Well, nothing quite as cool as being a Wonderbolt."
>"C'mon 'Non, You know I don't judge, tell me what your business is about."
"Well, I go to people's houses and look at their computers, I clean em up, fix em if need be. All-in-all a comfy and pleasant job. Plus people like me cause I charge a ton less than the local repair/parts shop. Small town means word gets around about me quick enough, and I don't have to go very far."
>"That doesn't sound too bad. As long as you're happy, right?"

"Not as happy as I would be if you were real..."
Kinda interesting to see all the jobs of the anons of this board and their hopes and dreams
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