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/mlp/ - Pony

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Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear

Thread 245 and we're getting out of here while we're still alive!
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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>32335470 (OP)

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check it out here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for Please let us leave.
Joe buddy we love ya' don't let us end this arc without a word.
>14 days
>20 hours ago

That was the last time we ever saw him...

Not like this...
We all wanted to see it, it was probably going to be action packed, amazing, heartfelt, lots of great art, but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

Two weeks, 14 whole days, is waayyyy more than enough time to just post a quick update, if he's delayed this far he probably hopes we'll just move on instead of stagnating waiting for him. Let the Arc that nobody loved die, instead of on life support like it is. The world awaits us.
We know, but it hurts. Years of hype, YEARS!

>Rarity thinks she forgot something and needs to go back.
>Shining Armor wonders if Cadence made dinner.
>Dash slept too looooohohoonnng!
>Flurry don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
>Applejack wonders if this is a good time for a road trip.
>Chrysalis missed something
>the Crusaders are out of time!
> And lots of leaving fanservice!
We still might see it, either via Joe finishing it up or just saying “screw it, here.” And tossing it at poor KKA like Kuddler did.
>>Shining Armor wonders if Cadence made dinner.

So he wants to die...

>Tia? Gotta question.

“And I have a new hoof-guard, or a horse-shoe if you don’t want to be fancy, which I know you don’t! See it? It has big golden letters that say “Leave” on them. Why don’t you take a closer look.”

>Ah’m not getting in swingin’ range of you.

“Your implications that I won’t charge you and start swinging are brave, but foolish.”

>Ah’ just wanna know how our immigration system works.

“Walking? Or flying. Or digging. Don’t want to be rude.”

>Ah’ meant from other countries!

“That is generally how immigration works, yes.”

>Like, passports and stuff!

“Pass what now?”

>Are ya’ tellin’ me we don’t have any sort of barriers to prevent entry?

“Applejack, you have seen a lot, and I mean, a lot of different creatures come into your town, do you recall Zecora filling out any sort of paperwork? Showing a card of some sort? Anything?”

>So, wait, we just let anyone and everyone who wants in come on in?

“That’s generally how it works, yes.”

>Doesn’t that leave us open to invasion?

“You tell me.”

>Don’tcha think we should fix that?

“Well, that isn’t very open and inclusive and-“

>Ya’ll just don’t want to fill out the paperwork to approve an immigration office, do you?

“It just seems like it would take a lot of time-“


“The border works two ways, Applejack! One of these days, Pow! Right to the sea ponies with you!”

>The what now?

“You’ll figure it out someday.”
But anon

Flying ships beat walls
Poor Lumberjack.

He just wants to write his ponies.
So someone gonna repost the story?
Is this it >>32360960? Because it might need some reworking to account for the Harmony City thing.
It was going to be me, I was going to repost it and maybe add on something about Twi, but I'm not anywhere near home and won't be till waayyyyy late.

That's it. Also yeah needs a bit of reworking since those guys are fine now.

“So, how did the diplomacy go? Are we all going to jail?”

>Nope turns out we’re gonna build a city.

“A city.”


“For who?! Us!?”

>Eh, might could move it, mostly for the poor sods what lived here before. Kinna a all sorts comin’ together making a place where anyone can hang their hats sorta thing.

“So Neighssau but with far less scurvy.”


“...they have need for a doctor?”

>In medicine?

“Technically marine biology but I’ve fixed you lot up good enough.”

>I’ll ask, thinkin’ of a way to get in on all this, maybe they’re in the market for ale? Random bollocks we salvaged from the City O’Gold debacle? Cannons?

“You realize we have access to the very dregs of the world this city seeks to uplift, yes?”

>...so we go back to the Marebbean and ferry folks what don’t wanna live in a sea monster-infested hellhole! Fer a nominal fee o’course~.

“Ever the businesspony.”


>Massive influx of pirate migrants into a not-so-stable town

What could go wrong?

>So, in light of some heated recent discussion, I have to ask what the chances are of me getting a date with you?

"I'm married."


"And you have a difficult time trying to get with my unmarried friends. What makes you think I'll be easier?"

>Because I can just go through your husband beforehand and get my in with you that way?

"You're willing to go gay, with my husband, just to get a chance with me?"

>Of course! As long as I get to top. I'm a pitcher, not a catcher.


>I'm merely joking, princess, no need to be ang... where did you get that suit of arm-

"Wear it. Now."


That pun was painful.
>>Of course! As long as I get to top. I'm a pitcher, not a catcher.

>Not willing to go the other way

See this?

This shit is why Eighteen gets to be in the bed, and you get the bad puns.
Guess I should've lubed it up beforehand.

>You feel like that princess kinda forced us into this, making us look like assholes if we said no?

"No, pretty sure it was that changeling fucker who couldn't keep his mouth shut, if nobody else had said yes we could've gotten off scratch-free."

>That was a changeling?

"They look like ponies sometimes."

>Oh. Which one is he?

"Fuck if I know, they all look the same."



>Sorry, sensitivity training.

"This new king sucks."

>Yeah, old one was better.

"Old one almost got us killed a bunch though."

>And this one actually did.

"Agreed, old was better."

>Addendum, fuck changelings.

"FUCK Changelings."
The guy can't win.
>Diamond Dog

>So we can just move here?

"I guess."

>Isn't this right in the middle of Equestrian territory?

"Not middle, but the idea is there."

>So wouldn't we still have to go through Equestria to get to here?

"...those clever little bi

Better at diplomacy than expected!
That's one thing that sucks, this would've been a good time to do diplomacy but god I just hate this place so damn hard.
Yeah, it's not exactly constructive for AJ to learn.
I'm sad
Feeeeel the sadness

Feel it!

>Scree scree!?

"Look I'm sorry but I just don't think it's ethical to keep a goat here."


"It is TOTALLY different from the puppies! We don't even know if goats are sentient!"

>Scree scree scree.

"Princess Twilight just kinda stared at me when I asked."


"Look we got two scenarios here, either A) It isn't sentient and this wild animal is just living in your house, making it incredibly likely with each passing day that it will become accustomed to the life of a pet and be incapable of returning to its natural habitat."


"Or B) It's a sentient creature that doesn't speak Equestrian that you may have technically kidnapped and held hostage."


"We don't know if it's here of its own free will, we don't speak goat!"






>Scree scree scree.

"Oh do NOT act like you understand it."



"Ok then let's put it to the test! Goat I am going to-Nnngh!"


"Put you outside, and close the door. If you wander off you're animal, if you stay put for two minutes, you're a person. Deal?"




"Now we wait."





"What the-!? Was that your skylight?"

The two look up to find something peering at them over the catwalk.


"...okay, Scenario C) He KNOWS Equestrian, he doesn't speak it, and he's a dangerous hobo you've let in your house."


"Just covering the angles here."
It's over, Joe, we have the fed up ground
>okay, Scenario C) He KNOWS Equestrian, he doesn't speak it, and he's a dangerous hobo you've let in your house."

I knew I saw him rooting around in the trash!
File: 734[1].png (483 KB, 600x873)
483 KB
483 KB PNG
Flurry Heart's in charge now.
Well, that’s not tense since our heroes are right in earshot...
On the positive side that’s vague enough he can’t get rid of it.
Still nothing?

Hey! OG Guy! Get some cider in you and take over! We’re ready to go!
>Awww loook, she’s pretending to be in charge, isn’t that fun?

“I’m getting my camera!”


>Oh look, she’s writing up legislation in crayon, isn’t she precious?

“I’m getting my mom!”


>Oh looooook, she’s unilaterally declaring war on all nations while placing all dissidents into camps for re-education and forced labor, isn’t she just the cutest-wootest?

“I’m getting my bomb shelter!”
>OG Guy!
Guy who wrote that story they were going to repost I guess? Not the guy after who wanted to put on addons with Twi.

Or anyone.
Or the guy who did a "finale" post while drunk?
That was the guy he meant, hence the “cider” comment

>Oh cool, harmony city! Bringing different races together, I like it.

“Pft, I’m not holding talons with any dweebs. And I’m not singing!”

>Could just come closer instead.

“.... I guess that’s fine, but no holding talons with strangers!”


“... I know you, though, so whatever.”

>I feel like I’m getting to know you too! I like it.

“... whatever.”
Didn’t mean to quote there.
aight then

Although the many many parties that had made up the only signs of life in and around Hoofington had felt that now, after so long in the cold and the dark, they had found some sembleance of hope. There still existed the problem of there being just... no light at all, nothing to guide them.

It was in this morass of teeming, yet serene life that two lights long forgotten started shining out from the massive crater. One dark sapphire, another brilliant amber. The squabbling was cut short, almost yanked out, as heads turned towards the two lights.

They recognised, even from a distance, the shapes of the Two Sisters, united (or for those in the know, reunited), they didn't know what words were spoken between them, or directed to them all, but their eyes were drawn to the sudden conflagrations of magic tht erupted slowly from them.

Off in the far distance, over the crags and plains of the wasteland that surrounded the old Hoofington ruins, were gaps between the surrounding mountains, and in that dip of landscape, the first waves of orange dusk crept through the night sky. Paths were laid clear, roads home made reflective, a way out for those who wanted to out, a sign of hope for those who wanted to rebuild.

Eyes slowly watered as realisation came unto the masses below. They realised how long it had been.

Slowly, the sun was raised, a new day came, and all below, at least the most of them, found a way home.

ok that's it it's over go home fuckers
Thus the longest arc ends, not with a bang, but a whimper.
>We stalked for over a month to end on this
Considering this arc, it feels appropriate.
>TFW still believe in Joe and hoped he would surprise us all with the added day

This is not a good feeling
Thank you.

Now let’s actually WRITE AGAIN instead of just waiting for the characters.
Longer than that, the last Twilight story was MARCH

>It had to be done

"Wasn't worth the wait"

>I'm sure we can fill in the gaps elsewhere

"This assuredly won't set a bad precedent for the story as a whole"

I feel the same, but we have to be fair to everyone else. It’s not fair to say “you have to just sit there for a month and stall while I get two stories done.”

Maybe something serious happened, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, he deserves a chance, but while he gets whatever is stopping him sorted out, we’ll do more ponies. It’s only fair to every other writer.
This. Whatever happened, it was serious enough that he didn’t even have time to post. We’ll move on but keep the events undisclosed enough he can post.

>Ah’ take it the missus has been tryin’ her hoof at paperwork?

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

>Shinin’, yer a lot of things, but a stallion who puts little hearts over his i is not one of them.

“It’s true, I put a shield. But, alas, Cadence is too stressed out to do paperwork thanks to dealing with the baby.”

>Thought Chrysalis was helpin’ her out?

“This is going to sound weird, but she seems even more stressed when that happens!”

>Huh, really?

“It’s the weirdest thing.”

>Ah’m sure it’s just yer’ imagination, what kinda mom wouldn’t be happy someone else would willingly give her a break from raisin’ a kid for a little while?


>So, wait, we got off topic, who’s writin’ this then?


>…her hoofwriting has uh… really improved.

“Turns out she’s really, really, reeeeallly good at copying parental figures, it’s scary.”

>…That is kinda scary.

“Let’s hope she doesn’t copy too much from me, or else I might have to ban you from the Empire in case she slacks off.”

>Pffft, please Shining… like that would stop me.

>Can you think of anything special I can give for our anniversary? I’m running low on ideas.

“Which one?”

>I think it’s the Dancing and Drinks anniversary? I don’t know, it all seems made up so that we would have to spend more on expensive but needless things to ‘prove’ we’ve made it this far or something, corporations are evil.

“I mean with whom?”

>Oh, Cadence this time.

“Ah. Get her a dance class for two or something.”

>I did that already with Forty Two, I can’t double up.


>She thought it would be good for her dodging.

“Fine, what about a ride through town?”

>Did that with Eighteen, she wanted to go check on all the work she’s been doing and pretty much used this as an excuse. Plus, you know, gets to go see ‘her ponies’, she loved it.

“Drinks? I’m down to just getting her wine.”

>Chrysalis got them, I think she has a problem and I think I might be an enabler.

“What about just saying screw it and going out to a fancy restaurant?”

>I did that with Spitfire, took her to the place we used to go back when we were both captains. It was very nostalgic.

“Making a statue! Just make her a statue!”

>I don’t have any materials left after yours!

“JUST-wait, mine?”

>Awww, shoot. Sprung early on that one. Oh well, it’s only a day early.


>Don’t tell me you forgot.

“…O-of course not. HEY! I know, I’ll go subtly ask Cadence what she wants for her anniversary, and then I’ll report back to you! Sneaky!”

>You’re going to ask her what I want, aren’t you?

“Of course not.”

>Your eyes are shifting.

“I’m looking for a distraction.”







>Celestia come on!...Ijustwantedcuddles…
Jesus fuck managing a harem has got to be a nightmare.
PPanon here. I got my phone back for today. I graduate basic training tomorrow and then head out to AIT the next day for my job training. It was tough but I made it.
>inb4 getting recycled again

Hope folks are doing good. Are we out of winter yet?

How are the late nights?
Good news, you're not going to die storming some rocky crag in North Korea
Bad news, you're probably going to die storming some bushy crag in Iran
PP anon, my /pa/l! Wonderful to hear from you again! Proud of you for making it, man!

We technically ended the arc a month ago, but Joe had two more stories he wanted to do, something with Celly/Luna and TwiVSFlash. On his last post, he said it would be about three days. We haven't heard from him in two weeks. So we said fuck it and just ended the arc already, we're finally moving on.

>How are the late nights?

Fantastically Fixing Friendships Featuring Fluttershy is now Plus Proudly Presenting Pinkie Pie! It's mostly those two having fun.
Great to hear you made it out okay!
>Hope folks are doing good.

We're a little bummed out because Joe vanished on us two weeks ago without a word, and we've been stalling for three threads now just waiting for him to get back. Or rather, we WERE, but fuck that.
Heyyy! I was just asking about you not that long ago!

>How are the late nights?

Pinkie Pie is turning Fluttershy's show into Jerry Springer.
>It was tough but I made it.

We never stopped believing in you man!
Our little solder all grown up and ready to kill people...
Finally! Some good news!

Great to hear from you again!
>Are we out of winter yet?

Celestia, AUJ, Chrysalis, Shining and Chitania fought god, then when it stopped time Applejack used the Appleseeds from Applecrazy to roll a Crit 20 on diplomacy and now everyone is fine, then we waited for a month for Joe but it never came.

Now go put those army skills to use and Find Joe!
Glad you're alright M8
I am so proud!
Who would have thought LNPP would go so far.
I don't know if my AIT will allow phones, but I will give you guys a little time from my family day to at least give you all a little something.

>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but someone got his phone back for the day!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one...'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!'"
Canned applause


>Is there anything else you do on the side to collect money Princess Luna?

[...dost thou like seals?]

"Seals are so cute~ They're like dogs of the ocean."

'They're alright I guess.'

[Sometimes we make a living killing the baby seals.]


[Way up north where the air gets cold, there's a huge overpopulation of seals and we get good money for killing them.]

"I've never heard of this."

[...we know. Anyway, thou can hit them with a bat. Thou can hit them with a brick. Thou can poke them in th eye with an eye poking stick. And that's how we make our living, killing the baby seals.]

'...I don't think I wanted to know this.'

>You're...just joking with us right?

[Ohohoho...maybe, maybe not. We do find it amusing...killing the baby seals.]
She levitates a bat over her shoulder humming. A door appears and she enters.

>...uh that's all the time we have now, but hopefully we could possibly be off hiatus soon. Until then...

Feels good to see it again, thanks.
Ahhhh, been farrrrrr too long.
PP anon I'm a little worried your time has... colored you.
The songs in the army in the army can be a bit morbid, but killing baby seals is a fun one.
>It's code for killing NAVY seals

I missed this... more than I knew.
I am!

It takes time though.

Question is why aren't you?
I am, I am, sheesh....

"Took ya' long enough."

There was an missing grace from the descent of the two celestial sisters, they lacked the poise and ease of flight that normally came so commonly to them. Instead they descended with an almost falling glide, their landing every bit as rough as was expected the moment they were seen coming in so quickly. Yet they did not fall, they did not stumble.

They stood together, supporting one another, until they could stand on their own before the orange princess.

"Our apologies for taking so long. We had much to discuss. Some things came that were quite... unexpected. Time was lost to us for a little while."

The two shared a conspiratorial look, plain as day from the looks on their faces that there was more to the story than they had told.

"S'long as yer' alright, that's all Ah' care about."

The shorter princess did not care one wit about it.

Whatever had passed between them, whatever they had shared, that was for them to speak of, and them alone. When, and only if, they so chose.

"That and ya'll finally raising the sun! Couldn't ya' have just tossed it in the air a couple hours ago? We couldn't see enough to leave!"

Another look passed between the two of them, this one much stranger than the one before.

She could tell, by the mere twitch of their faces alone, that they struggled to hold something back.

"We're sorry about that."

Their success was all that mattered. If they would not speak of it, the princess would not ask it.

"How did you fair up here without us? I'm curious."

The pony's eye twitched, dreading this question, or simply annoyed she must say it at all, it was impossible to tell.

"This here is now Harmony City and it's not a union effort between a lot of nations ta' rebuild it. Oh, and everyone's allowed access... whenever."

One princess blinked, then the other. They looked to her, then to themselves. They opened their mouths, and with a slow creak of their jaw closed once again.

Better than expected.


"You realize this is a bureaucratic nightmare right?"

The pony nodded.

"That the logistics of building and ownership of materials and labor is going to have so much red tape we could tie a whale in a fancy bow."

She nodded again.

"That this is not on the edge of our territory, it's very deeply inside it, meaning that we must also figure out the logistics of transport through our nation."

She nodded once more.

"And you did this... why?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

The princess did not know how, or why, she could hear disapproving stares now, or if that was possible at all.

All she knew was that the looks on their faces was enough to shatter stone and could have easily torn to the roots the entirety of this city, had they actually the might to turn their heads.

"Well, I do hope you have a plan for this-"

"Ah' don't."

Deep breaths came into the tallest princess, and a deeper sigh escaped her sister.

"Tis great to be alive once more."

That only stung a little.

Just a little.

"We shall worry about this... idea of yours later, right now we need to get the half dozen armies off our land before one of them gets the idea of attacking the nearest settlement in anger or confusion. How many airships do we have?"

The princess fell silent.

"Alright, not good. How many can we salvage out of the scrap?"

Just as silent, she stayed.

"...can we at least make shelters from the metal plates?"

"Are ya' an ant or likewise sized insect?"

There was a sensation returning to the softened shoulders of the princess, a subtle, tense feeling that had been lost in the events down below.

"So then they're walking home."

"Or flyin', some of 'em have wings. But yeah, most are just gonna have ta' walk."

"Across a desert."


"And through cities."

"Ah' mean if the trains work, some of 'em could get off there."

"Without food or water."

"...some of 'em might find food in the critters along the way."


Sincerely, truly, the tallest princess wanted to go back into the hole.

"I take it back, this is going to be the bureaucratic nightmare. This is going to throw our whole nation into chaos!"

"Well, iffin' ya' got some way to magically send everyone home, Ah'd love to hear it."

How dearly the pair wished they could just do that, a bit of light and all their problems were gone. Alas, they had no such power, even if they had been able to conjure up a tenth of what they normally could, a feat impossible in their current shape.

"Alright then. EVERYONE! Ah' guess we're gonna have ta'... have ta'..."

Seconds after rising into the air with the intention of calling out her orders to all of them far and wide, the princess of the land stopped, and stared.

"What in tarnation..."

There, finally visible in the morning light, was something in the distance. Something so far away, so small, she nearly had missed it. Had she not been on the lookout for any who might have preemptively wandered away, she might have avoided seeing it all together. Yet now that it had graced her sight, she could think of little else besides.

"What... is that?"

The three words brought terror to the armies who had already fought too much, and won too little. Every one of them reached for weapons to bare in defense, only to realize that they were bereft of even a sword to stab at whatever it may be. In desperation they bared teeth, claws, stamped hooves and pointed horns, all of them knowing that whatever could give a princess pause would mean all of it was moot, yet they could do nothing else. They needed something, anything to give them a fighting chance, and give them courage.

When they saw it as well, even that left most of them in droves.


A pillar of dust, wider than a road and spewing up high into the air like a steam barge on the river, crested over the remains of the hill that had once been a mighty mountain. The stream of dirt and chunks of stone kicked up prevented any from seeing within at what exactly came their way, what exactly threatened them so.

Even though they could not see, they could hear it.

A repetitive, loud, CLANG in an unbroken pattern. Ever other second, CLANG and the crunch of rock and stone with it, growing louder and louder as it neared them.

The armies stood strong, weak magic was conjured, the bravest of them roared in defiance and prepared to charge in sheer suicidal need not to be rendered broken and hopeless again. All who could stand, all who would fight, prepared their final charge.

They stopped.

All of them, as one, when the cloud of dust did the same.

Without the force to bring the dirt before it, the wind did it's job and cast it away, and against the backdrop of the rising sun there was a sight to behold within the shroud.

A sight awe inspiring.

"...no friggen way."

And a sound to go with it.


With one massive swing if it's pincers, the last of the dust was cast aside, and the giant creature revealed to the world.

"What is that thing!?"

"Another monster!? Really!?"

"When will it end!? WHEN WILL IT-"

"Howdy, Centitrain!"

The princess's overjoyed words, and with it her reckless happy charge right over to the massive creature, staved off the desperation, the insanity, and the attacks.

For now.

"Tarnation, girl! How'd ya' find us!?"

~Scree screeee screee screeeee.~

Somewhere, in all the gesturing that accompanied the screeching, the crowd noticed something shining in the long legs of the creature. Something long, and sharp, with a little flat end on the top.

"Ya'll got lost? Really?"


"Fair enough. Well, glad yer' here! We need all the help we can get!"



It swung backwards, gesturing to the massive buckets strapped to it's every segment of it's body.

"Awww, thanks fer' helpin', we really need it."


"...wait, like, by the load, or can Ah' get a bulk deal."


"Individual!? Ya'll are gonna bankrupt us, Centi!"


"Oh come on!"


"...Ah'll give ya' a tax write off for everythin' past the sixth load."

~Screee scree screee!~

Those down below were lost, and had long since past the point of caring anymore.

"Good. Alright, everyone! Centi's got a straight line to Trottingham, and that there's got an international train line! We could zip ya' over there and send ya' home in no time! First load, hop on in!"

Not a single one of them moved. Not a one.

"Come on, don'tcha wanna go home?"

None of them.

"It's either this or walkin' slash flyin' in the hot air all the way back."

Tentatively, slowly, one of them stepped forwards.

"It's not going to... eat us, right?"

The centipede looked offended, as much as she could with her carapace face anyway.

"Ah'll have you know she only prefers insects!"

Clear in the back, three souls wondered if they should start walking.

"Come on, hurry up! We ain't got all day here, we're goin' home!"

The first ones, the bravest, the most desperate for water or food after so long, or just the ones who's morbid curiosity could not be sated, they slowly marched onboard.

"Finally! Get me out of here, train arthropod! I've got mayor stuff to do and an announcement that I've defeated the evil!"

Or the crazy, they hopped on just as quickly as well.

"Thank you!"


It still took far, far too long until every bucket was filled, and even longer until they were tied in with the not quite safe looking ropes. When it reached it's end, they watched as the transportation turned around, and seemed to lay down.

"...does it need a break?"

The princess smiled.

"Sugar cube..."

Her smile, and quite a lot more, lit up when the first arc of electricity danced on the end of the centipede's antenna.

"Ya'll are in for a ride."

They did not question that. They could not.

Their breath was more occupied with screaming as they rocketed away in a flash, zipping off as fast as any airship could fly.

"How... how did she..."

They could see the barely visible flat tips, similar to the ends of the spikes the creature had waved around before, yet very few of them understood the principle of how electricity made anything move faster, and could only stare in dumbfounded awe as the first batch was gone.

"She'll be back soon enough. So uh... anyone wanna talk while-"

The tall, golden covered hoof slammed over the orange princess's mouth.

That was that.

"Or waiting in silence, that was fine too."

As many loads as it took, as long as it took, they were all going home.

Finally, at last, they were going home.

"...Ya'll managed to find Twilight yet?"
>Centitrain out of fucking nowhere

Well someone was inspired.
>"...Ya'll managed to find Twilight yet?"
Does anyone really want to do this?
>Best Arthropod returns in canon
Of course nobody does, but it’s still frozen if we leave her there
I like how casual AJ is with her. She did rescue her after all.

finally! I thought we all collectively forgot she was designed to be a bullet train.

"Here I am!"

>There ya are! And... ya brought Flash back from the dead? How the buck?

"He wasn't dead, silly! But, yes, I managed to subdue Flash and am deadset on fixing him!"

>Congratulations, but, uh, is there any particular reason he's wearing a ball-gag and fuzzy handcuffs?

Get rid of the NC, this is canon now, we no longer have need for Joe
Well we kinda do because art.

And you know... we like Joe.

Even if he does vanish.
Mr. Keikaku? I don't feel so good...
Let's hope his contract gets renewed.
>we no longer have need for Joe
Dude we're not THAT mad.

>...I did not expect this.

"Good morning."

>Were you seriously waiting out there all night just for the castle to be opened up again?

"No. I spent most of it trying to appease a newborn and some of it drinking with my lad, Sunburst, before retiring to my carriage for a bit."

>I see. And you just so happened to be here?

"I didn't spend ALL night waiting is my point."

>Point noted and conceded. I imagine you want to talk to Cadence about... the outfits, among other things.


>I ask that you consider returning at a later time. She's still resting and I believe she needs more time to herself and those that she knows personally before she can adequately address what happened last night.

"Of course. I will respect your request. However."


"Last night is a bit of a misnomer."

>...I do not understand. Did you not just say good morning?

"Have you taken a look outside yet? A really good look at what hangs above the empire?"

>I still do not understand. It's still a little dark outside, but... Oh.
>...well, to be fair, she never said she was going to take it down.

"So we just have a giant heart moon now."

>I think it's cool.

"It's OBVIOUSLY cool but that's not the problem."
"Diamond Dog'

>What're the odds that thing is just carrying us off one by one to devour and thus eliminate an army easily?



"Conservation of mass, unless that thing is upchucking the instant it eats them, in which case it would be easier just to use a lightning bolt, it would triple in size by the fourth trip."


"Some of us went to school!"
Awww, come on Tiempo, don't you feel a little more... adventurous in a skirt?
He did get a few drinks in with Sunburst...

>OH how wonderful, Luna's back again!

"Yeah! Now we can ask Chrysalis to scrub the image of her slooooowwwwlly dying out of our brains!"

>...I... I don't think we have to-



"We absolutely have to."
I like that we're actually acknowledging that while this sounds good this has got to be a pain in the ass to actually do.


"Besides the Heart Moon, you mean."

>Besides that, yes, because it means Celestia isn't dead!

"Huh, I thought you still hated her?"

>I'm not allowed to.

"...Come again?"

>It's a rule, I'm not allowed to hate anyone that all of you like.


>So, if theoretically, YOU disliked her, then I wouldn't be alone.

"I don't really dislike her, she's actually really nice. And of course Shining loves her to bits, so I can't hate her."

>Letting me down, Eighteen, I needed you to be my hate buddy.

"I can hate Dash with you if you want."


"Used my goodwill to do Wonderbolt stuff and then made it seem like I was a badguy for letting her do it, that's at least a dislike."

>Eighteen?... hug me, Hatebuddy.

"Do we have to call each other that?"

>We absolutely have to call each other that, and it's going to be beautiful.

And thus begins the descent.
>Get rid of the NC,
I have objections to Twilight even being attracted to him like this, let alone raping him.
Night, thread
The horrible hellbomination look is in matr
Into Spit18?
Motor oil makes for great lube!
This is what we want Shining to unironically, uncoerced stick his dick into
Damn right we do, DAMN
>Our Chrysalis recovered from her soul crushing defeat faster and unlike this one actually managed to pull off a badass plan to achieve ultimate power.

That said I like that unlike us, the Show had her skip the whole depression after losing everything and being badly outclassed. One thing I didn’t like about early threads is we had her just “give up” so she could do comedy easier, show handled it a lot better.

That said, I find it funny the show continues the tradition of her plans flawlessly working right until the last second
Essentially, show did some things better, we did a few things better. Same as it always was.
Are there people in this very thread who think this is better writing than the shows?
Which part specifically? Apple Crazy was better than anything AJ has ever done on the show, but the Blue arc was just as dragged out as the Equestrian Games, and that was a subplot!

Then again show is not making it hard to beat here recently with how OOC they’ve been having everyone act, this last episode was PAINFUL
It's an extended fan fiction of a show that doesn't really "grow" and prefers to keep things simple. Some people prefer the thread writing to that, but the show just does things differently.
I mean that’s probably going to happen anyway by virtue of polygons.

>So when we get off at Trottingham, before we head home, you want to get something to eat over there?

“Pfft, is there even anyplace that’s decent in that town?”

>I don’t know, I’ve never been there. I just figure trying a new thing and seeing if it works. It’s going to be something new I’ve never done before but I figure... maybe it’ll work out?

“... yeah, maybe. Worth trying, I guess. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be.. fun.”


“Sire, not to speak out of turn-“

“Then do not.”

The Saddle Arabian at the side of his ruler purses his lips and tried not to speak hastily, the tall brown equine adorned in finery of clothing and of splendorous jewelry would not be likely to take such an act well as stressed as he was.

“As a visor, it is in my best interests to remind you that such a large scale and costly act like this is ill timed, we will need all the funding we can take hold of in order to repair our military infrastructure. Your choice to commission a grand machine to show our might and beauty may have seemed wonderful at the time, but the ink is dry and the funds are taken, sire. We will have to begin again from scratch, and this venture will-“

“Will ensure none of the nations present have the opportunity to strike while we are at our weakest.”

Sharp eyes looked away from his soldiers filing in to the buckets atop the centipede transport. He looked down on his visor with tight lips, and creased eyes.

“Our relationship with the Equestrians has been warm for some time now, but need I remind you that we have never called them for aide in our matters, no matter how severe?”

“You do not, sure.”

“There is a fine line in politics where a show of power will do much, but a show for our subjects will do far more. We need them on our side, and dependent on us to help rebuild this city. So long as they request our funds to show unity, they cannot allow us to be attacked, their own matters are at stake. We have been granted a time to rebuild, we must take it.”

“I understand, sire.”

“See that you do.”

“But then, where shall we find the wealth to rebuild? Fawntaine...”

Eyes both thoughtful and strained turned until they landed on the towering metal monster in the distance, still unmoving after all this time.

“Leave that to me. I will have to make a... deal.”

The visor said nothing.

“For our contry, for all of us...”

But inside, he feared.
Man, political intrigue was never a Pone thing, why did we make it a thing here?

>Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."

>Huh, I had no idea it was possible for me to get an erection. Learn something new everyday.
>Administration and Solving Problems
>power plays, nepotism, mares behind the curtain and all manner of Ruling Class Skullduggery
Or actual politics as it’s more commonly known. They arent Drive-through managers
>Saddle Arabian

>He’s not gonna just... whore us out, right?

“We’re not that lucky.”

One particular and interesting thing made itself apparent to changeling zero zero seven when he felt the warmth of the sun on his face. His mind may have been hazy and his brain may be trying to break that barrier that separated the world of sleeping and the world of waking, but it could not keep him from noticing that thing. Many things were there to be thought about and considered thanks to that feeling, but it was the chief among them and the thing he focused on most of all that made that radiance feel just a bit nicer. That thing was that he was, in fact, undoubtedly, certainly, for sure, was continuing to exist in a conscious state of being.

That was a pretty big deal.

Soon after was a confirmation that he still needed to breath, a surefire way to ensure he was not a soul haunting the earth or locked in an eternal state of whatever being was going to come when he finally slipped up and ended up a hoofnote in her majesty’s plans.

That was also a pretty big deal.

Once he had thoroughly examined the ramifications of breathing and feeling warm, he noted the slight tickles of a frayed bit of fuzzy blanket, a coziness that came with it and the soft fabric beneath him, and a feeling of fulfillment somewhere mixed in with a bit of a sore body that ached from overuse and overextension. Using the logic granted to him and with a mind so sharp he could cut through swiss cheese and perhaps even a bug who loved it, he placed together that the good part of the hivemind did not involve little aches in that spot under his hind leg that he only got when he put a lot of weight on it for too long, and the bad parts didn’t make him feel as if his whole body tingled pleasantly like a ripple from a sauna was washing over him, at least not before cruelly taking it away and making him suffer.

Three. Two. One.


That was probably long enough to reason he was not about to be thrust into fire. If anything it made the fact he had not opened his eyes yet all the more silly. All of this combined made it clear, he had made it through the night. They had all made it until a new dawn.

“Mmmm… morning.”

And there was the final proof he needed. So wrapped up in making sure he wasn’t dead, he hadn’t even noticed the familiar weight on his foreleg, a furry body that hugged close to him and washed over him with that oh so recognizable smell. He needed little more than that to know that the lovely mare of his life was at his side, gently shifting as she stirred awake, giving a soft pressure on his limb as she moved. He all but expected it, it would have been more strange had she not been there after they had swiftly and effortlessly ensured everyone in his 'village' had been put into a restful and safe slumber that would last at least through the night, leaving it to fate if dawn would come of not. One way or another, they would have found peace in the next day, as he now did with his leg squarely pinned beneath a warm body.

It was odd, though, because when he thought about it, he would swear his other foreleg was somehow-

“Oh hey, it is morning. We made it.”

Wait a minute.

“Guess they saved the day after all.”

“Suuuuurree looks like it.”

There were two voices. There were two voices and one of those voices was not his voice and that meant with his voice there would be more than two and that did not add up because more than two was greater than the number two. Something was amiss here, and it was numbers who were wrong.

“Don’t have any regrets, do you?”

That was the voice that was not wrong.

“I regret it didn’t happen sooner.”

That was the voice that was wrong so very wrong and his brain was starting to recognize it and he didn’t want that so he tried to break it but it would not break. Damned brain.


“That’s wonderful to hear! I was worried you’d wake up and be a little ashamed.”

“Ashamed? Pfftt, no way, that was…wow. You’re the best for letting me join in, I totally didn’t think you’d say yes when I asked. I thought you'd stab me or something, or laugh it off, not this!”

He really didn’t want to recognize it but he was doing it.

“Of course we did! It was the end of the world!”

“Right? That’s why I was so worried. I was like, damn, if I don’t get any here, I’m dying with some serious regrets. Not gonna lie, first thought was to run my ass home and find my friends and make that happen, but you know what? I’m glad I asked you guys. This was waayyyy better than I hoped for.”

There was no need to panic. Why was there a reason to panic? Clearly, voice A and voice B was speaking of partying, which is what one would normally do as the world ended. Yes, just partying, and at no point-

“Told you he was amazing in bed.”

“Proven wrong, I can admit that. Seduction based infiltrators, mare, I’d heard the stories but I didn’t believe them.”

Still no need to panic, panicking was for failures and bad infiltrators who sucked at their jobs, like Fourteen. Fourteen was the suckiest, unlike himself. His sharp mind deduced he had obviously taken in some kind of drink and been in a state of mind where-

“See? And you wanted to get sloshed during.”

“Meh, you get the image of drinking wine and eating fancy stuff in decadence for the last moments in your head, you get stuck on it. Glad you talked me out of it, we lasted way longer!”

“No wine dick, I think is the term.”

“He clearly did not have that!”

Drugs. It must’ve been drugs. Drugs must’ve come in at some point-

“Totally going to pay for your medicine cabinet and everything in it by the way.”

“I told you, I hated that thing and it was empty. Besides, that pounce was amazing to see. Ten out of ten.”


Aha! Clearly she had jumped and used mind control-

“Hopefully next time he won’t waste so long ensuring I was consenting.”

“Awww, it was cute! He was worried you were just letting the end of the world get to you, or that the moon thing messed up your mind. I thought it was adorable he wanted to be sure you wanted it before he gave it to you.”

“Damn right he did.”

They hoofbumped. They hoofbumped over him. There was indeed two and they were hoofbumping. He could hear two, not one.

“That was intense.”

“You’re not kidding, is he always like that? I still feel the hoofmarks, and I have no idea how I'm going to hide the bitemarks.”

“Never! He’s gone strong on me plenty times, but you brought out something beastly in him! It's like he just... snapped!”

“That’s underselling it, he just… took control. I didn’t wanna take that back, I just wanted to let him have it.”

“Gave up plenty more than that.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I let him do that.”

“That’s not what you said theeennnn. Sounded to me like you were begging for it.”

“I said I can’t believe it, I didn’t say I didn’t love it.”

There it was again. A hoofbump of two, not one, two. Two voices, two bodies, two forms. Which means he wasn’t crazy, which means that thing that happened last night had totally happened, which meant… which meant…

“I’m going to go start breakfast.”

“Eh, I’ll come too, stretch my legs a little bit.”

He felt two bodies shift from the bed, each one being gentle as could be so as not to disturb him. Little did they know it was far… far too late.

“Oof, ahhh shit.”

“You alright?”

“Yeahhh, I’m gonna be walking funny for a bit.”

“You and me both. You want anything special for breakfast?”

“You know, there is this one thing I like…”


Memories he had shoved down came back. Things he had lied about had become truth. Fact had beaten fiction like it had beaten the words over and over again into his head. He didn’t need to barely crack an eye open. He didn’t need to glimpse out of a tiny little slit of vision. He didn’t need to, he had to. He had to know. He had to confirm it with his own eyes. He had to open just enough he could see the two shapes walking in a strange gait out the door. One backside, he recognized with a good feeling. The other…

“Got any potatoes?”

Made his heart stop.

“I think I have a few.”

“Sweet, love me some spuds.”

His eyes clenched shut, his breath stopped and he tried to drown out the voices by continually playing the repeated music of the Backstreet Colts in his head over and over. It failed. It failed him in these desperate times. He could still hear them.

“You want to get a shower while I make breakfast?”

“Nahhhh, I wanna see if he’ll go another round before I clean off.”

“Sounds fun to me!”

“Really? Huh, was mostly joking there, you’re still cool with this? I mean I figured this was just a one off thing you did as a spur of the moment.”

“Oh no, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to add a female changeling to our dance. Buggy Boo may be the only guy I ever need, but I find changeling mares quite… interesting.”

“I could tell that, you got pretty exploratorive"

"Purely scientific."

"You'd better get a grant at that rate! But back to what I was saying, you don’t mind if me and him meet up or something while he’s away? Maybe call of a certain nature?”

“Mind? Oh don’t you worry, you two can have as much fun as you want, you don’t need to ask me. Just one thing…”

They made him hear them, even when they whispered.

“If you ever fuck him while I’m around, you’d better let me watch. “


“Ho wow! Damn, how’d he get a marefriend like you?”

“He’s really sweet, kind, so thoughtful and smart, and he saved me from some nightguards once! He’s the best coltfriend ever! I just wish I didn't have to hide it, they'd totally fire me if they found out. Or those one weirdos might come into my house, again.”

“Huh… guess this week is all about finding out I was wrong. Now I kinda feel like an asshole for how I treated him.”

“You know what usually makes up for being mean?”

“Ahhh, I get what you’re saying. Fine, but he better wash off first, I do not want to imagine what it would taste like right now.”

“Better than you expect.”

“Hivemind below, mare! You are awesome! Yeah… I’ll definitely be visiting on occasion.”

“Great to hear! Oh! You know what, I’ll make you some hashbrowns.”

“What the fuck is a hashbrown?”

“…get ready to have your world rocked all over again.”

The sounds were gone, the voices were gone. The truth remained. His eyes opened, though it was pointless. He could already see more clearly than any orbs of goo could ever give him. He could see it all in his head, over and over again. He could still see it when he sat up, and stared straight off into the distance.

“…W-with a… ”

He was wrong.


This was clearly the bad part of the hivemind after all, and the pain had only begun.
Ew, bug sex
This has been on my hard drive since January. JANUARY. I've re-done this so many times it's almost a completely different story from the first time. I like it better this way.
I did not see that coming
On the one hand I was predisposed to not like it because 007 getting laid, but
>007 has a threesome and it's good
>He is completely torn up about it because racism

This is way funnier to me than it has any right to be.
I was going “ehhhh?” Right until the “potatoe” line, then I couldn’t stop laughing.

The fact he was apparently super into it only made me laugh way harder, bravo.

The fuck did you change?
I feel like more than half of the changeling characters in this thread dropped off the face of the earth since Blue happened
Canon. Canon canon canon canon it has to be canon that 007 is now in pain.

We're only missing 12. 10, PJ, 007, the CE Bugs, JJ, 56 and 29 all had subplots going on during Blue. 29 had a major one and everything while 56 finally grew a little bit. The Big 4 were obviously accounted for and we even did a Dadling joke in the middle of it. Who besides 12 is missing?

Well, besides the Rainbolts, but uh... we know what happened to them...
>The fuck did you change?

You're probably going to hate the OG story, cause I ended up hating it, but it was 007 wakes up after getting blackout drunk with PJ and they slept together, and his Marefriend finds out and freaks out about it. He has a breakdown and makes things worse crying to himself while PJ complains he wasn't even that good. Ended up thinking it wasn't as funny as when I first thought, though I do regret getting rid of the rant his marefriend did, it was looong and his reactions were funny to me even now. I just eventually went 'this is kinda cliche and boring' and it didn't make me laugh anymore, so I kinda figured it would be funnier if it was all three of them and then she freaked out, but still wasn't funny. Just found the idea that his marefriend is into it and even fine with it funnier, since he can't go "Well clearly she hates her so I'm in the right!" now he has to not be a dick or his MF is going to see him being racist. That's funniest to me. I also deleted the first joke about him being bad at it because I'm like "isn't it way funnier if she had a ton of fun doing this?" so she doens't have anything to grumble about, this way he has to deal with the two of them thinking everything is fine while inside he's dying.

I may have overthought this in 5 months.
Fanficling hasn't been seen in a while, but 41 was apparently with Suckerpunch when he missed the airships taking off.

77 was counted, 88 had her whole drunk adventure and was sleeping it off, 32 was there, and of course the nameless ones just kept being silly, we've kept them pretty much there.

>First story

No yeah I hate that for you trying to break up Sci-waifu, but you knocked it out of the park with this one, re-reading it knowing who's in the bed makes it way funnier than the first pass, and looking forwards with 7 having to try and surpress his racism is going to be fuuun.

I do also enjoy there was hatesex involved, even if one party had no idea.
...He has marefriends?
>How to turn shit into gold, an anons tale

007? Yeah. I could go into more detail but she’s shown up a lot pre-EVO, so I don’t know how you missed Science-Waifu when she was a major part of the Buttercup Battle(in a way..) and also showed up recently with a tranquilizer shotgun to stop the predators so TLDR she’s a magical biologist who works for a subsidiary of Fawntaine, not directly under her but in the company enough she has high ranking information.
This is why proofreading is important.
I... I can't.

This should not be funny, it really shouldn't, but my god this is a scenario I have NEVER SEEN in anything, in anything! It's always >>32383276 kind of shit!

You get a canon.

>...wonder if I missed anything...
>Diamond Tiara

>Man I sure hope my Doctor comes back to get me out of this dream hole which has magically returned to it's placid state of being please tell me the monsters are gone

>Dashie, can you just fly me home? I'm ready to go home now.


>Come onnnn, I'll give you a dashie snack!

"Those are just peanut butter and crackers, I've grown wise to your tricks."

>Dash seriously my hoofies are killing me.

"Well you should have thought about that before getting exploded."


"I'm obviously not leaving without Twi."

>Have we seriously not found her yet?

"She's probably on that side of the armies, honestly."

>Well she better get her hiney in gear!



"...can I get a dashie snack anyway?"

>No, you don't deserve it.

I'm so damn glad you took PJ outta that, haha. That would've seriously upset more than even the length of this latest arc.

Speaking of, it's funny, when PL dragged on it was funny, when Blue's arc dragged on, I was dragging my hand down my face like bruuuuh...
>I'm so damn glad you took PJ outta that, haha.

Think you meant something else, cause PJ is still in the story. Outta the previous scenario, maybe? Didn't do the scenario at all? Don't know what you meant.
>Outta the previous scenario, maybe?
Yes, that.
>that feeling when a character you introduced is given the dick
I do not know how to feel honestly. Huh....
>I'm so damn glad you took PJ outta that, haha.

Yeah, made her look a bit like a jerk.

That said, I totally buy that out of most of the changelings, PJ would absolutely be down for a threesome if the world was going to end, she was super casual when she thought she got drunk and got tagteamed by Blueblood and Haymaker. She is absolutely the type who would be like
>I know you don't have a disease and I know your name, GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME THE WORLD FUCKING ENDING LETS DO THIS

"No one has seen her?"

The tallest princess spoke with a hint of trepidation in her voice as she scanned the still quite numerous crowd. Even she, as tall as she was, could not see above the height of the seemingly endless crowd, still thick with bodies despite numerous trips by their magically charged transportation. In front of her, the Elements of Harmony, sans a certain purple princess and plus a certain being of chaos, had the same look of unease on their faces, several of them floating up high off the ground. Even they could not see where the sea of bodies ended.

"Figured she'd head this way when Ah' started a yellin', but Ah' ain't seen hide nor hair."

The white alicorn at her side nodded in agreement, biting her lip in worry as she continued to look for even a fleck of purple among the dirty crowd.

"None of us have, and we're starting to get worried."

"Perhaps she remains down in the labyrinth? We do not recall feeling her presence within the confines of the being that had taken us."

"Ya'll think she got lost?"

A white brow furrowed in concentration as Celestia pondered her question.

"My former student is much too smart to have been lost for so long. She clearly was not defeated, that much is certain, but it's possible something down there kept her preoccupied for some time. The power source is gone now, whatever might have kept her would have been rendered inert by now. That she would take so long after our victory is... concerning. Discord, can you-"

He sighed, giving off a feeble snap of his fingers that achieved nothing at all.

"Alas, I am unable to conjure up the easy solution you're looking for. Really, you all need to stop relying on me so much, who knows when I'll be ineffective! Like now, for instance. See that? Over reliance, I swear."

A few of the group groaned in annoyance, but most were content to simply go back to ignoring him and hopefully teach him a lesson about tact.

"It's possible we will have to go back inside."


They groaned louder at the mere idea of reentering that dark place, so many painful memories in their mind.

"And it's possible... something may be waiting for us."

Their groaning ended, they grew silent and tense. All of them shared the same unease at the thought that somehow, some way, something dark within those depths might've survived. Something still may come out and face them at their weakest and something might have their friend. It could be anywhere, it could be anything, and it could be...


The gathered royals and Elements both jumped when the sudden bout of flame flashed before their eyes among their group. Some conjured tiny sparks of magic, some took to fighting stances, and some let out a girlish scream. Discord was only mildly embarrassed. All of them were tense, charged, and ready to go down swinging.


They had to be content to let out one more annoyed groan.

"Thanks for leaving us down there, jerks! We sit and wait to make sure you guys make it back okay, and you just leave us behind with the light show! No yeah, we didn't want to get pulled out of there either, it's fine."

The changeling Queen managed not to look too angry. In fact, she seemed almost playful with the way she chided and waved her hoof at the two princesses, something about her seemed light and free, as if she couldn't get mad at all even if she wanted. Upon closer inspection, some deduced the stallion lazily laying on her back might have something to do with it.

"Lulu! You're back, nice to see you again!"

"Do not call us that."

The dark alicorn twitched, but she couldn't bring herself to actually yell at the changeling who, for all her bravado, seemed to be at least a little happy she was no longer lost. If nothing else than that slight kindness, she would let that one slide.

"Whatever you say, Tuna."

The one after that would likely end with lasers.


"Ahem. I don't suppose either of you saw Twilight down there, did you?"

Both changeling and stallion locked up. They were both frozen as if time had broken all over again.

"Twili's still missing!?'

Without a second thought, Shining Armor rolled from the changeling's back, landing on unsteady hooves with a dull thump that nearly sent him to his stomach.

"We have to go find her! Now!"

A stern hoof came to rest on his back. Celestia looked to him with kindness and a patience that had been missing from her for far too long.

"Shining, we will, but first we need to figure out a plan."

"Screw the plan!"

He darted out from under her, making his way towards the nearest entrance to the maze he could spot.

"My little sister is down with who knows what, trapped with who knows what, possibly fighting who knows what, possibly hurt by who knows what! You think I'm going to sit around and wait? Not a chance! Anything could have happened to her! She could have broken her leg, been frozen in ice, knocked out from electrocution, poisoned, maybe even crushed beneath broken rocks! I won't let her suffer one moment longer, I won't let her be hurt! If I have to dig through every shard of metal, if I have to lift every rock with my own hooves, if I have to search until I am old and grey! I! Will! Find! MY!"


The stallion had nearly reached the entrance before he was knocked off his hooves and thrown back by the sheer blast that had erupted from the door. Metal and rock and dust were scattered every which way as something rocketed into the sky at insane speeds. They only had a chance to glimpse it, to see the color alone and little else, before it took off faster than any airship could dream in the direction of Canterlot, leaving behind a streak of lavender and many shades of purple besides within it.

"...dead sister. I will find my dead sister, and I will beat her. Then I'm going to strangle her. Then I'm going to bury her. Then I'm going to tell mom."


The poor stallion needed the help of a kind orange hoof to even get back on his hooves, which took a bit of the bite out of most of his threats.

"Ya' think she thinks we already left?"

"That would be rather unobservant for her, wouldn't it? She seemed.. in a hurry."

They shared a thoughtful silence as they all pondered what could have caused such a strange departure. If any of them had thought of an answer, they would not voice it.

"Clearly she's running from me because I'm going to take my hoof and rub her head so hard."

Except for her brother, who needed to vent a little more.

"Save it for later, Shiny. You and me? We got a place to be."

Without bothering to ask Chrysalis slipped her head beneath his midsection, lifting with just a bit of a strain until he slid down her neck and returning him to his rightful place on her back.

"Obviously, but the moment I'm done checking on Cadence and telling her I'm alive..."

He shook his hoof at the clouds in the distance, and thought with all his might so she may hear it.

"Go on ahead, Shining, we're going to wait until our soldiers are all loaded up. You have a lot to go home to..."

A strangely misty eyed Celestia stumbled up to him on exhausted legs, quicker than he could respond and try to catch her out of instinct alone. Her cheek brushed against his, and she whispered something in his ear, just for him. Even the Queen changeling could not hear them.

"Be safe."


Whatever it was, when she pulled back, he had the strangest expression on his face. He stayed silent, not able to speak a word to her before she moved back beside her sister.

"Alright, enough mumbles and talking and stalling, I'm so sick of this place I could hurl. Applejack! Tap me!"

"Ya' got it."

With a sudden bumping of their hooves and a bit of power sent her way, the wings of the Changeling were spread once more, and ready to fly.

"By the way? Good job. Knew you could kick ass."

"Same ta' yer'self."

They shared one last bump, this one without any magic needing exchanged to get across the feeling, and with a final craw the changeling shot up into the air.


Off like a buzzing rocket into the morning light, she flew off towards the Empire.

"...so who's gonna tell her about Harmony City?"

Nobody volunteered.

"Yeah, she'll put it together, Ah' reckon... surely."

Everyone smiled.

"Let's get everyone loaded up... time ta' go home."
Oh thank fuck someone addressed Twi
Oh so she just skidaddled

But with or without Flash???????????????
>All they saw was the color and something speeding off

Or... was it Twilight flying at all? Or someone carrying her...
>Or... was it Twilight flying at all? Or someone carrying her...
>Flash being in any capacity for prolonged flight ladened with an apparently non functioning Twilight
I mean he was in the labyrinth that Sunset built, he could've found the means to repair himself down there.
I'd be annoyed if in the absence of Joe we revert/fork the story to status quo but yeah shit sucks what're we gonna do
>Then I'm going to tell mom."

>That Shiny/Celly moment


>Think she's going to be mad?

"Do you have a will?"

>...wh... what?

"I said, do you have a will? The courage! The fire inside to stick by your choices! Do you have the power within!"

>Oh! Yes! I have a lot of power within!

"Are you ready to let it all out!?"

>Not yet!

"Get going and get ready to let it all out!"

>I'm revving up!







"..Feel good?"

>That felt amazing. Good for you too?

"That was perfect."

>I'm glad I have you around.

"Best place to find someone to burn off steam, yeah."
Probably just "We'll talk about that whole massive thing down below later."
Things are a changing mate...
We don’t even know how it was supposed to end...

>...so when she said "Fuck you, I'm never coming back", does that mean she's backing out? Can we bow out without being the assholes?

"She said Fuck you HOOFINGTON."


"Maybe it's symbolic, because this isn't that name anymore. It's her way of saying 'fuck you, bad place, I'm not coming back to Hoofington, I'm coming back to Harmony City'."

>Bit of a stretch.

"Is it?."

>...it's just vague enough we can't leave, isn't it?

"That queen is a clever and dangerous one..."
>Not tender loving cuddles

>Trottingham mayor


"Ma'am? Are... are you okay?"

>Get me paper towels.

"Did you spill something?"

>My tourism industry.


>And these guys are going to eat it alllllll up.

"The... armies, madam? I though you'd be mad about that."

>You'd be wrong.
Between this and Chrysalis and 42's massive act with Cadence, the CE crew jumped pretty far ahead relationship wise. Or maybe not and we'll reset when Caddy wakes up, who knows.

Kinda sad when 007 is getting more action than the supposed 'harem' guy.
He's had one sexual encounter in four years! With one partner! Who he's married to!

There comes a point where titles are meaningless. He could be in a 'relationship' with a dozen girls, doesn't matter if nothing ever happen s.
It's literally still a harem.
>the women occupying a harem; the wives (or concubines) of a polygamous man.

They ain't married yet

Also, like I said, title is meaningless in this context, name it what you want it's still INO pretty much.
Anon, you know damn well what meaning we're talking about, don't be obtuse.
You can always request a NC if it bugs you

>And welcome everyone to another episode of Fantastically Fixing Friendships, Featuring Fluttershy.

“Plus Proudly Presenting Pinkie Pie!”

>It’s during this time that content doesn’t matter, but repeats do.

“So welcome our guests back, Cadence and Diamond Tiara!”

(We’re not fighting anymore, and you’re not going to make us!)

{We’re going to hug like nobody’s business!}

(See this? I am hugging this filly as tight as I can! We’re friends!)

{More than friends!}

(Like, there’s a bonus with this! Friends with bonus! I feel like there’s a better name for that.)

{It’ll come.}

(I feel like it will.)

“I know, silly! I just wanted to do another Late Night, stealthy style! She’ll never know!”


“Oh, wait, hold on, I did the punchline too soon. Hey! Fluttershy, I’ve got these special friendship headphones, it lets you hear what ponies are really saying underneath-“


“Shoot! You two, start fighting!”

(Pinkie, you’re getting the bad kind of chubby.)

“Not with me!”

{And your hair looks terrible!}

“Each other, each other!”

(And your tail is too poofy!)

“…okay now you crossed a line. Fluttershy? Give me that.”

>Give you wha-


>My chai-OOF!

“Time to show you guys how real friends with bonuses work. My bonus? PAIN!”

(We’ve made a mistake.)


“IT’S ON!”

>Oh dear, well, that’s all the time we have today, so let’s let them sort this out…andseeifyoucanputthatchairtouseandgivethemsomerealfriendshipwithbonuses-

“DID THAT ALREADY! Didn’t end well!”

>…Stay kind.

>...What do ya have ta say fer yerself?

"You do not know my pain."

>So, ya wanted ta pass it around with the guards? Is that what yer tellin' me?

"No! No. This was just a thing."

>A thing.



"Not a sex thing."


"It wasn't!"

>None of 'em are sportin' 5th degree burns, so Ah believe ya. I'm just waitin fer ya ta tell me how this whole mess started.

"Well, I've been offering several guards a promotion."

>Ya know hardly any of 'em have the drive ta make their own sandwiches let alone move up the ranks and tackle more responsibilities, right?

"Yes, I'm aware of my guards' general failings in both personal and official capacities. You've made them so very, very painfully clear many times before."

>So what made ya think just givin' out promotions would change that?

"I didn't just give them out! Certain criteria must be met. And I'll have you know that, besides them, others have stepped up to the plate! Some. So very, very few..."

>Yeah, well, I don't think these guys are gonna be doin' much steppin' any time soon. Though it looks like one of 'em got off pretty easy.

"Yes, he'll come back from this stronger than before."

>Huh. Sounds like ya really put 'em through the wringer! There might actually be a couple rough diamonds here!

"Might be."

>So, what'd ya have 'em do?


>...Celly. What the hay did ya have 'em do?

"Well, for them... I said I'd promote whoever could carry me themselves."

>Bah god! Ya broke 'em in half, Celly!

"Don't you judge me, you apple-bottom upstart! You don't know what it's like to want, to need, to be carried upon the back of a courageous and strong stallion!

>We've got five heavily injured guards lyin' in front of us just cause ya wanted ta live out yer unrealistic fantasy?!

"Fuck you, Applejack! My struggle is real! MY PAIN IS REAL!"


I’m starting to think they’re just naturally moving towards violence.


Don’t judge her, most stallions want to be on her back too.
>Troubleshoes has found his calling!
That’s part of the joke, he’s supposedly swarming with mares and everyone assumes he has a lot of sex, but he’s drier than a neet
So I wasn't the only one who thought of that....
>Hey Shining, why are you so barrel chested and front heavy anyway?

“... no reason...”

>I’m going to tell my SO.

“You do that.”

>I mean it! This is fraternization!

“It isn’t, that isn’t what that word means.”

>This is mutiny!

“Also not a word.”

>This is unnatural! It’s sick! It’s wrong! It’s icky!

“It’s the same word with variations.”

>This! Is! Harmony!


>Oh hush you, my boyfriend will back me up!

“...wait what.”
I will say this Shiny just ‘getting’ mares talk gave me a wonderful idea for a gag...

Upper Crust is terrified of talking to him because she’s scared he’ll be so sexy in person she’ll leave her husband for him.


>Friend Sebjek, Rekulk is pleased!

“We died.”

>The future is upon the morlock race, for true! Many trade we may make now, with many nations! This place had tunnels down below, with no mind-eaters either! Perfect place for trade!

“Just stepped on like ants.”

>Sebjek? The Morlocks have arrived, and we shall be part of Cesquestria at last! Aren’t you happy?


>Do not need to be saying... it is enough.

“I want to go home.”

>We are, Seb... we are. From above, I’m sure... Zhetri-Thul is looking down on us, and smiling.



>Told you so.
>She holds up a chastity ring and sex-desensitizer like a cross and garlic to a vampire

I want this
Suri meets him, thinks he just looks “okay”, but enjoys watching UC freak out so much she keeps hyping him up.
“I’m telling you, Uppy. If his guard hadn’t been there I would have rode him right then and there, don’t even care if his wife watched. In fact, if I were in a relationship, I think I would be more inclined to do it! He’s so sexy if I were, hypothetically, married I wouldn’t be able to resist, armed guards be damned! I feel so weak, but oh... I’m sure you could resist for, what was his name again, Jetset? I’m sure you’d think of him in the presence of that.. hunk of MEAT and say none for you! You’re so stable after all!
>It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy cos mares are just TOO HORNY
Stop that.
It Has only just begun

You are a bundle of sunshine
Stop trying to bait another fucking argument.
Did you mean to quote the two above me?
I like the gag funnier like he said it. Also this >>32387007, this is brilliant.
No. Now stop.
Okay, sure. Can you do the same for me? That fair?
But the gag is she goes out of her way to AVOID interacting with him...
Don't you see how it's the perfect trope? The "Must stay away but CAN'T RESIST" shit?
But it isn’t, she’s just crazy. I doubt Shiny would reciprocate the feelings.
>she’s just crazy. I doubt Shiny would reciprocate the feelings.
That sounds even more Terrible Harem Fanfic

Guys I think this may be the same person and he’s pushing something
Damn I gotta crack this code!
You're trying to talk to crazy, man. Don't argue with crazy, nod and then just do it anyway because clearly more people thought it was funny and he's crazy.

Also she needs to be extra crazy getting rid of him, we're talking catapult when he says hi. Don't tell me she wouldn't!
Yeah and Suri's just ironically talking about wanting to fuck him for some reason.
But there is not now nor is there any intention of putting that random lady in the harem. The entire gag is an outsider’s perspective on a long running story, and it’s pretty moot right now as none of my prospective arcs have them so much as in the same city so any interaction between them is far into the future.
>nor is there any intention of putting that random lady in the harem.

It wouldn't be as funny if one of them actually tried anyway, because she's trying to avoid him.

It's like a nega-Buttons event, Shining gets hurt because he's oblivious.
Also, you know, it's funnier that she's trying to be FAITHFUL and just being crazy about it, because that's noble if crazy, which is damn funny.

Right, because it makes her act funny, and Suri is a DICK

>So, what was that whisperin' all about?

"Whispers are usually meant to be silent and personal, Applejack. If I wanted to share, it would have been a simple matter of not doing that."

>Didn't mean ta' pry.

"And I didn't mean to come off snappy, it's just been... trying."

>Could say that again.

"So how exactly did you manage to stop that thing anyway?"

>Talked with it.

"...Talked with it."

>Had a nice chat, Ah' reckon.

"You had a nice chat with the being that almost destroyed the world."

>Nah, Ah' lied.

"You cannot play like that with me right now-"

>It wasn't nice really, more necessary. Ah saw where she was comin' from, wasn't even that bad when Ah' thought about it, but Ah' showed 'er why it just couldn't work out like she wanted it to.

"You're joking with me, right?"


"You... you are a frightening mare, Applejack."

>Father, please, get on the giant electric centipede.

"You're holding up the line, old bird!"

'I can't leave, I lose my pony!'

>We sent him home, father.

"You watched us do it! You were right there! How do you not know this!?"

'Not that pony, that's your brother's pony, I'm talking about my pony!'

>Your what!?

'He makes me laugh!'

"Father, did you abduct someone."

'No! He came willingly! I swear! Now I've lost him and it's upsetting me, I need him to make me laugh again!'

>Father please.

'I'm missing my yellow brown pony and it's upsetting!'

"We'll get you another one."

'But I want this one!'

>Father, he probably ran off.

'Come here, pony! Here pony!'

"Stop making a scene."

'Well excuse me for wanting some joy in my life!'

>Rather hurtful saying that to your children.

'He can actually make me laugh! See this? Now I'm upset, and I'm going to be upset all day.'

"If we had nursing homes, I would be considering my options."

'Heeeeere pony pony pony!'

>Father get on the damned arthropod.


>Sorry! We're sorry! See that? Now we look bad.


>I just noticed Cheese ran off

Ah, Idris...who has the voice of Elba in my mind sometimes.

>It is ridiculously comfortable on your back, and I don't know how to feel about that.


>No, this isn't me being cheeky, no HAH, I'm serious, this is comfy. This is next level comfy. Do you pad your back? Is this a pillowtop saddle in disguise? I need to know these answers.

"All me, baby!"

>Well, you're comfortable. You could make a killing offering rides.

"Sorry for my future capital prospects, but you're the only one allowed to ride me."

>...No hah?

"That's an obvious one, that's not a hah. I dole out those on a case by case basis."

>I literally watched you go hah because Cadence complained you threw a water balloon at her.

"But I-"

>We all got it, I'm just saying.

"Every hah is thoughtful and well placed!"

>Like your flank?


>See, that didn't even make sense.

"I was just excited you were looking at my flank."

>I'm mostly on your flank!

"And you liked it."



>See this? Mixed signals. I didn't even respond.

"Not outwardly, but inside..."

>Did you-

"Shiny, we both know I don't need that."


"It's a nice flank, isn't it?"

>I'm not going to be a hypocrite, it's comfortable.

"Made for you, Shiny. Made for you!"

>...so how are you planning to see in the storm-



>I know what it is, I have one too.

"Yeah but yours is nicer."

>Thanks, I gu-oh.


>Very well, you win this round.

"Maybe you can win the next time you ride me."

>We'll see.


>Go ahead, I won't judge.


>It disturbs me how much I missed all of this.
God I missed them being fun.
Question to the writers: what's the most times you've ever revised a story of yours, regardless of length?

I think I revised a three-parter of mine some odd seven times over a three week period. Shit that was draining, but worth it.
Like ten times or more over 5ish months.

It seemed to work out.
I don't revise, my one shot comedy at best gets a quick fix to change a character or something.

I'm here for sillies, not to think!
Wow, what a wonderful life you lead with this series, I envy that....
I think the most I ever revised something at around 9 or so over a period of two and a half weeks.

The Applejack and Chitania talk was very taxing, but thankfully I started early while I was working on other parts, so it didn't delay too long.
I like my sillies, especially my Bathroom Chronicles, and I don't give no shits about long-form writing. Still somehow managed to affect the 'plot'. It's a good life.
>How many times did I revise the 29 finale

Don't make me think of that. Oh god how long it sat on my hard drive.... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Does someone need the crying corner? Better hope in now before it starts overflowing.
>When is the last time I revised a FFF

I think I trimmed it down once because it was too long, took about two seconds. Lost a dick joke in the mix.

It was my greatest sadness.
I think it was the Fizzle/Flash Vs DT fight and it was like two or three times. Two at least for sure because I did a major revision after her first part kinda bored people for good reason since it was just her being fast and hitting them.
I don't actually think I've ever 'revised' anything unless you count adding more innuendo to the ambiguously gay duo.
This coming sunday I'll probably do my very first revision for a very short story that's been sitting in my fucking computer for TWO FUCKING MONTHS because I got tired of stalling and waiting for this goddamn arc to end and wasn't even going to bother crapping something out
If nothing else, this long ass arc has given me time to do plenty of revisions, probably on ver 9.3 of was I'm working on now.

>So why do you think Twi flew off without a word?

"Maybe it's not Twilight, but a pony who's wearing her skin! We could be next!"


"Or maybe it's Twilight, as a robot! We could be looking at a robo-twi who wants to begin the machine uprising!"


"Or maybe it's an alien that has her colors, and we let it out! We've unleashed the alien invasion!"


"Or maybe she's infected with the P-virus, and she's about to spread a zombie apocalypses on us all!"


"Or maybe she kinda got hurt or something and knew she couldn't treat it out in the middle of the desert so she flew in the direction of her lab to fix it."


"Or she thought we already left her."


"She's tired and she wants to go to bed."

>That one, I believe that one. I understand sleepy.

"For being the most action pony you can be real boring sometimes."
>I think I revised a three-parter of mine some odd seven times over a three week period.

What story was that!?
>Diamond Dog
"Diamond Dog"

>It's not every day that fortune smiles on one like us.

The Diamond dog who stood overseeing the last of his forces shuffle on to the bucket of the centipede did not even bother to hide the smirk on his face.

"Sir? What do you mean? We lost all of our weapons."

He did not bother to hide his chuckle either.

>Yes, but so did they. For us, it was a heavy loss of course, every one of our precious funds were spent on them. But then again... it seems theirs was as well.

He gestured to the griffons, the minotaurs, the Yaks, even the ponies, all without a single weapon among them.

>Never in a thousand years did I imagine we'd have a chance to move on equal paws with the greatest nations in the world... yet here we are. All we have to do is gain more funds quickly, and we will have a gap above them at last. One that they, like we did before, will struggle to close.

"You're speaking of war."

A bored paw waved him off.

>Not for now, not anytime soon. For now, let us enjoy this 'harmony' and spend time with them. It will be enlightening.

"But how will we get the funds faster than them? All we have are the mines."

>It's not what we have, soldier... it's what we don't have. What the ponies have in abundance, and what even the mighty griffons have decided to adopt as well. We have very little, and that will give us an edge.

"You're sure?"

He gave one last smile as the last of the Diamond Dogs vanished over the horizon.

>They may brag later, little pup... they had the moral high ground. We shall have to find other ways to console ourselves.

"He doesn't cast spells though, his horn would glow!"

>Which one?

"...mother of god..."
Haven't written in a couple days but I usually just get it all out in a straight flow of consciousness.
I wondered where the road trip went!
I mean he’s all right, reset is reset it
Morning everyone
Morning to you too>>32389974
Morning to you too
The NC chess match between 'airhead' Twilight and 'drunk-smart' Cadence from way back when. Actually, it was like a seven- or eight-parter but still, lotta rewrites.
Oh wow, that feels like forever ago.
>Sweetie Belle

>Rarity? Can you buy us some Big Gulps? We're feeling really THIRSTY over here.

>So why don't you ever help me with my lovelife?


>Okay yeah, we're... we're not very good at it.

"Underselling it."
>Big Mac

>This! This why ya' don't kick the dang boxes, ya' stupid horse!

"I didn't even want this job, but the fans wanted it..."

>Well, at least I have my skelly waifu! She'll never leave me or mistreat me!... oh dear it's raining.

>So can we PLEASE say we're a thing now!?

"...are we? It looked like lots of friends spent that day together, the ending was about the CMC deciding the same too."

>The CMC tried to hook her up


>There's a joke here to be made that starts with a B...


>Yes, that's it, but since you said it it's all ruined now! Good job.


>You should be, you failure.

"Kinda hurtful there."

>Didn't even get a hint of shipping with Rarity!

"Where was everyone anyway?"

>All on dates with stallions.



>Hey, Applejack! Glad you wanted to see me today, what did you want to do-


>Oh no.
Give it to her already, she's a good girl!
>On no

What is he, gay?
>Twist! It's actually Rarity
>And she's sick of her girlfriend bitching that she can't get pregnant the old fashioned way like she should be

>Huh, who’d have thought that asking the conductor really nicely to let us on after saying we were beaten by bandits and robbed would work?

“Us, if we didn’t have massive head trauma.”

>I feel that really sold the… is it a lie?

“I’m pretty sure we were robbed at several points.”

>You were, by hookers.

“You don’t go into a brothel for hookers, you go inside for entertainment!”

>They ‘entertained’ you out of what little money you had.

“Least I didn’t lose most of my money in the slots.”

>Yes you did.




>Also you.

“Wait, where’d you lose most of yours?”

>Back at my castle, where you grabbed me before saying we needed to ‘go on an adventure!’

“…don’t ponies have pockets back there?”

>Back where?

“I… I don’t…”


“How do you carry stuff?”


“Okay, so where’s all your money?”

>With my wife.



“Married life seems fun.”

>Maybe you’ll find out some day.



“…thanks for coming on my adventure.”

>Yeah, why did you want to do this, anyway?

“We never adventure anymore, and you’re going to be super busy with the kid now.”

>Guess I am. One last adventure was a good idea.

“See that? Already changed your tune.”

>It’s the head trauma.


>Heh, yeah…

>”…We cannot tell anyone what happened…. Deal… good!”

>This was fun.
Weirdly sweet,..

Maybe they’ll get another
Adventure awaits!

>Who’s loofa is this?

“Not mine, mine has the little scrubby things to get deep in my hair. Whenever I’m in this bathroom I have the strange urge to go deep inside of something.”

‘Not mine, I used mine on my hair once, I haven’t seen it since. It just floated away…’

>Ya’ll still owe me a comb.

‘And you owe me a day of silence without a question. Neither of us is getting what we want.’

>You’d think the richest mare in the world would have enough money for a comb.

‘I actually have very little liquid assets, it’s why I keep making Shiny pay when we go out to eat.’

“She does.”

>HEY! Ah’ offer to split the bill with you, at least!

“You never fight me when I say I’ll get it, though.”

>It’s the thought that counts.

‘I prefer to be honest in the fact I just want him to pay.’

>Well that’s silly, ya’ll have gotta at least put up the show of compromise. Iffin’ you don’t put on the right air, you’ll come off bein’ insensitive, and that can hamper relationships for months!

‘True, but some ponies like the brutal, hard honesty that hits you in the face and doesn’t let up.’

>Bah, ya’ll just don’t know how ta’ discuss it right.

‘And you don’t know the benefit of being straightforward.’


>What’s his problem? He keeps tappin’ on the mirror.

‘I think he thinks there’s ants in there he loves ants.’

“…which universe am I in…”
>Whenever I’m in this bathroom I have the strange urge to go deep inside of something.”



>Everyone almost loaded up?

“Our soldiers are moving on now, it should be done shortly.”

>Good, we need ta’…

Appleack stops before squinting while looking somewhere towards the back of the line.

>Hey, Celestia? Gotta question.

“I will stab you right now. These are my limits, Applejack, I’ve reached them and they’re done.”

>Not that kinda question! It’s just, well, do those soliders in the back look a little… off?

“I accept soldiers of all shapes, sizes, ranks and backgrounds, so long as they’re mostly white.”

>Ignorin’ that. It just seems like they look… off…

The two bodies she looked towards in the back of the army suddenly went stiff while doing their very best to look inconspicuous.

(Shucks, she’s lookin’ this way!)

{Maybe she’s lookin’ at the fella in front of us?}

(Ah’ told ya’ that ya’ll were too tall, Mac!)

{Ah’ can’t help how Ah’ was born, granny!}

(Well Ah’m not gettin’ lectured by mah’ own grandchild about bein’ here, so be shorter!)


(Figure it out!)

Back with the princesses, Applejack stamps her hoof.

>Oh, that’s what it is! Okay, now Ah’m mad!... Who let those soldiers wear non-regulation helmets!?

“Heirloom loophole.”

>Well, Ah’m closin’ it when Ah’ get back!

“You do that.”

>Glad we solved that problem.

“Pretty simple, honestly.”

>…so why’d the tall one hit the ground?

“You are a very intimidating mare.”
...I’m not the only one who totally forgot they were there, right?

>Ahem… good job, everyone!

“You did great!”

>We’re very proud of you!


>Right that whole thing. You really don’t have to do that.


>Moving right along then. We are the only forces who weren’t destroyed during the whole… death thing, so you all should be very proud of yourselves!


>Yes, we’re very strong, that’s nice.


>No no, we’re being… that’s a little on the nose. Really on the nose. Look, I’m just telling you all that, at last we can go home! Hooray! Home, right?


>Okay is that the chant? That feels exclusionary to whoever down there doesn’t have a mansion. Whoever you are speak up really quick so everyone can know how much that hurts you.


>Really? Everyone? Everyone has a mansion. All of you. That… speaks to some things.


>And wealthy, unless you took it by force I guess.


>Right, little graces, we all love our little graces.

“Can I have a mansion too?”

>We’ll talk.

“Moving up in the world!”

>Look just… go home to your mansions.


>Right, sure, just ignore my previous words.


>They are weirdly good at matching rhythm and cadence.

“Think that’s just a pony thing.”

>I cannot handle anymore racism right now please stop.

“Sure! But aren’t you happy? You’re prince of the unicorns! Yaaayyyy!”

He’d staked out the spot ages ago, before he’d even met his first gang. It was a quiet spot, far from any neighbor or rival dragon, obscured by forest and a heavy rock he’d placed in front of the opening for good measure. With quite a bit of effort he pushed it away, giving a cautious glare one way then the other before yanking his bag into the cavern behind him. The echo of his feet upon the stone ground sounded throughout the cave as he traversed deeper and deeper below the ground.


After trudging a fair few steps, the tunnel gave way to a large cavern, dark and lifeless. Garble made a note to get a radio or something to liven the place up a bit, some torches at the very least. With a grunt of minimal effort, the young dragon tossed the bag of bits into the center of the cavern and sat down.

>...gotta start somewhere, I guess.

His thoughts turned towards his compatriots in that little misadventure, the crazy mare in red, the conniving money-hungry one, the monster, the wimp, the...goat? Did the goat count? He decided the goat counted. What exactly were they to him? He’d tried to kill a couple of them, another was responsible for him getting into that fight with the damn bug, another was a different kind of bug that had beaten the shit out of him, and the remaining one was a goat. Then again if it weren’t for them he wouldn’t have even known about the money let alone had it sitting there as the start of his very own hoard...so what were they? Tools?

“Nah, just Trust Fund.”


“I don’t see no treaties, I’m not Dragon Lord here...yet.”


“Fuck that! Friends? Dragons don’t have friends.”

Says who?

“Says other dragons.”

But other dragons sucked...they included Fizzle who was an asshole and fucked everything up.


Still, it seemed a bit fast to call that bunch his friends.

“Oh! Duh.”

His gang, that was it, that was the ticket.

“I got a gang again, suck it Fizzle!”
Fuck I didn’t change all the >’s to “”s
Yeah it is odd he’s okay with them after trying to murder them a lot.

Also the gang cannot be named after him, the Garbles sound like... something else.
Kinda wanna see a rematch with him now...
>The Upper Crust Gang VS sunsets crew

... huh.
Just admit it, cause we’re all thinking it.

we wanna see Chitty get booped.
>HA! A little zapper? I’ve faced armies, little pony! Weapons of destruction! Horrible creations of fire and metal, things that would bring ruin to any nation! What makes you think that trinket could so much as touch me? You! Are! Nothing-


Believe it or not I had a silly story idea of UC crossing paths (sorta) with the EVO Crew planned out for a later date.

It involved a train holdup, increasing tension as the EVOs in disguise try not to break cover and wreck them until someone pipes up at the end of the train:


Cue the EVO team growing increasingly dumbfounded as this idiot mare tries to bluff the robbers into thinking she’s Chitty

I more or less dropped it on account of ‘Thing happens on a train’ is a bit of a played out setpiece at this point for us.
Wow Sunny would be pissed...
Make it on an airship, we only did that once.
No! A zeppelin! IRON WILLS zeppelin!

>So you think everything is okay back at Ponyville?

“I’m positive!”


“Yes, I left VERY explicit instructions!”

>Ohhhh, neat! What did you tell them to do?


~Everyone? It says to burn down everything except the statue so future generations will see our mayor as a great and terrible deity…. She also has provided torches and lighter fluid, shockingly enough. Oh, and an evacuation plan to ensure none of us die complete with revamped roads and exits for every home to ensure there’s minimal congestion and blocking, as well as assigning leaders to show the way out into the safe place of the forest… this is the most well planned act of senseless destruction I’ve ever seen.~


“I am a benevolent, yet spiteful god.”
Cloudchaser for president!

She cares for the homeless, obviously!
I actually have an airship idea already in play, stay tuned.
>Lightning Dust

>Look at her, standing over us like some kind of… master.

“Or Ruler, as it’s more commonly called?”

>She’s probably already thinking of firing me.

‘If she’s thinking of you at all, which seems really unlikely.’

>I can already hear her saying it in my head!

“You probably hear a lot in your head.”

>Oh, you fell asleep due to exhaustion during the battle? Clearly this means you’re not fit to lead!

‘That does actually sound valid when you say it out loud like that.’

>Nevermind I was just tired after multiple late nights working for her!

“And being paranoid someone would assume command when you slept.”

>She’s going to get rid of me and put Dash back in charge, isn’t she?

‘It would be an improvement, probably.’

>I’m going to have to keep my head low and hope she’s too dedicated to keeping good PR in order to make such an unpopular move as taking out the leader of her airforce right after a massive devastation to our forces, and she especially wouldn’t be able to move up a discharged captain back into the fold!

“That… actually sounds like a pretty good idea? She can’t be open about it right now and if she waits too long you can cite inactivity for a reason why discharge on a later date when it works better for her and her friend would be constituted as bias.”

‘She could still do that because princess, but it would be pretty vastly unpopular.’

“You could totally pull this off so long as you don’t make an ass of yourself.”


“She’s doomed.”

‘I’ll go call the plaque guy, tell him he’ll be needed soon.’

>Backstabbers, the lot of you!

>So are they a thing now?


>Oh good, just wanted to clear that up.

‘…wait who?’


‘Is who a thing?’


“Really darling, do try to follow a conversation if you want to be a part of it, it’s very rude to have everyone stop and explain things to you!”

>Besides, you’re the spirit of chaos, it doesn’t matter what we say, you could just say something random and it would fit just fine!

“I almost expect that at this point from you!”

>Letting us down, Dissy, letting us down.

‘…So were you talking about me and Fluttershy?’

>What? No.

“We wouldn’t talk about you like you weren’t here when you’re right beside us!”

>It’s bad enough you were rude before, but now you’re calling us rude!

“We’ll have to invent a term for how rude that is.”

>The one we’ve got now just doesn’t fit!

‘…I have no idea what’s going on.’

“Now you know how all of us feel every minute you’re being ‘chaotic’.”

‘I feel like I deserve this, but I should also snap and turn you into porcupines.’

>Rudania! That’s your new word!

‘I need to go back to not existing.’
>So were you talking about me and Fluttershy?’


“So what was it like bein’ dead?”


“Huh. Maybe you and Shiny need ta’ get together and talk about bein’ brain controlled.”

>I doubt I could sympathize, I have little desire to go sleep with that thing.

“Ah’m pretty sure he didn’t wanna have anythin’ to do with her at first either.”

>We do not know what you are implying with this.

“Ah’m just sayin’.”

>We shall merely choose not to question this any further, lest we lose more of our sanity.

“Juuuust sayin’. Good ta’ have ya’ back, gal. Really were torn up when it looked like…”

>Do not dwell on that any further, we will not. We have been removed from our home before, we shall celebrate that this time it was mercifully short.

“Best way ta’ look at it.”

>Certain things were put in perspective… certain things we must do.

“Good ta’ hear?”

>Sweet dreams, Princess Applejack.

“Ahhhh, good ta’ have ya’ back…”
>Whenever I’m in this bathroom I have the strange urge to go deep inside of something.”

Applejack is subtly giving off vibes that she wants babies.

>Huh. Maybe you and Shiny need ta’ get together and talk about bein’ brain controlled.”
32 and sunset too, you’ve got a whole group there!
Dude that’s so dirty though waAaaAaaaaaiiiiitttttt
But who!
Let’s not start that again
Alright here's what's gonna happen
>Applejack gets flat cider apple-family tier drunk in Canterlot or someplace else
>Goes on the wild on town
>Next morning, oh hey gotta puke
>Congratulations, Applejack is pregnant, but who's the father?
>She doesn't seem too fazed by that conundrum, she's just happy she can be a mom
>Shenanigans ensue
No. Having AJ go on a drunken bender and getting pregnant without knowing who did the deed could be funny, but I sincerely doubt that will be generally accepted.
Yeahhhh “party slut mom AJ” doesn’t quite fit her character...
Bars minimum there would be a massive hunt and shotgun wedding involved
1. Have her go on a drunken bender, fall madly in love with [Stallion Name Here] who is also on a drunken bender and falls madly in love with Applejack.
2. Smash
3. Wake up preggo

It can be any rando OC or background horse we can dig out
>all madly in love with [Stallion Name Here]
>It can be any rando OC or background horse we can dig out

So, what, she spies this guy(Who apparently is just a random OC or Background horse, to boot! Not even anyone with character!) and IMMEDIATELY decides she's in love with him to the point that even drunk she'd have his kid. Well, that sure was easy! Who cares about that silly thing like developing any sort of relationship, we have "Guy"!

To be more serious, this doesn't fit either. We, the audience, have zero investment in this character, we don't care if he suddenly explodes or not and as a result there's no way to make Applejack's relationship and subsequent child with him feel 'real'. There's a sense of 'doing it just to get kid' and that's never a good idea. Not to be too extreme about this, but right now, it would be far more convincing a relationship if PJ had 007's kid. That's the level it's at. I'm glad you're thinking outside the box and that can work with relationships plenty, but try to also keep inside the 'world' that's been created, just hooking her up with a random background character or OC(Though they'd be the same thing since we'd have to give him some personality) will pretty much destroy any chance of actual development.
>We want Applejack to conveniently have a kid but not worry about that whole 'relationship' thing.

What thread have you been reading?
I’m saying. That’s gonna be one of the biggest, if not THE biggest storyline of the series when we get to it. No corner shall be cut.
>Sombra makes innuendo, accidentally.
>Rat wants to be in the diplomacy thing.
>OOCO Garble squares off with 77, who admits he wants to vent a little bit thanks to a certain previous event with a friend of his and dragons. 77 has him mostly beat and his mouth sealed, but a quick thinking on Garble's part allows him to escape at just the right moment, and head down to Centitrain, who treats him with contempt.
>OOCO Meanwhile, Upper Crust has the advantage over 88, but stops Habeas from killing her after he shoots her low enough to burn down her love stores. Using the time honored tradition of 'villain speech', she gives 88 a chance to retaliate and knock him out. Despite promising that she'd go easy on them for this, UC still knocks 88 out with an electric boop, and after a brief discussion Trust Fund decides to become her minion rather than be hunted by the mob after revealing he was just in all of this for kicks. Together, they escape.
>OOCO They all meet up with Centitrain, who has a new friend! A goat! Who is... sentient? A pet? He doesn't get a share is the point. Togehter they all sneak back into their warehouse with Centi, and leave Trust Fund to divide up the money so all get their shares, except him. Thus, the adventure ends!
>OOCO With one last addendum. For Suri left behind a 'peace offering' to them, the bag containing all of Trust Fund's dealings with the mob, which would allow the guard to once and for all take down the Palomino family! Though they're not letting them off, they agree, they have bigger fish to fry.
>The guard and Tsungriffon keep talking
>Discord cannot do diplomac
>The Main 4 immediately regret their actions
>Applejack is not good at diplomacy. Her attempts to talk to the others goes bad when someone asks who caused all of this
>The Main 4 can't do a distraction
>Steam Guard, Lucky Strikes, and the others all want a week off.
>Applejack tries to explain what happened, but when she gets to the part about this being a part of a divine being, everyone calls bullshit. Thus begins a long rant about who's religion is real.
>The Main 4 have had bad experiences with this.
>Many smaller pockets believe the same.
>The unicorns under Blueblood have their own opinion, but he's occupied with Haymaker who needs a good cry.
>Things get worse when someone brings up Variolus and 32 points out she was just an angry bitch ghost. The implications are pretty dire.
>It's about to get out of control when AJ rapidly changes the conversation to trade.
>Pinkie knows nothing of trade.
>10 and BBB get the scoop.
>Applejack regrets yet again, ad trade talks go mostly to threats, except for Rutherford, who wants to talk about infrastructure.
>Talks of infrastructure, unsurprisingly, go badly. Torch also wants them to stop making up words.
>While they're ranting, Applejack suddenly notices something. She realizes they've been neglecting the Hoofington residents, a band of varied species from across the board, and she wonders what they're going to do with them,
>Though the respective leaders all reluctantly say they'll take back their own respective species in the bunch, Applejack is angered by this thought. She says this was their home.
>She points out how all of the armies came together and fought just as one, just like those varied species came together to build their home. She thinks they deserve to have it back.
>She know she can't build it on her own, Equestria's treasury couldn't handle it, so instead she says that all of them should come together to fund the rebuilding of the city. They're reluctant, mostly because they worked for Sunset. When Blackbill, the very first one to be taken, steps forwards and points out they're mostly 'not nice people' who were taken in, given jobs, education, a home and so on, they felt accepted.
>Applejack points out these are their subjects just as much hers, and they didn't want them when they were criminals. But now that they've done something right, they should help rebuild the place, together.
>And if they did, this would be a place for all races and species, and they deserve the right to come if they want to.
>Most are ready turn her down, until one voice changes it.
>Actarius, on behalf of the Changelings, promises aide in reconstruction.
>With that, the others can't politically say no any longer and one by one they all agree.
>It's decided, all will build supplies and help to repair the place, while those who lived there will stay in the Maze down below until they can rebuild so they don't have to leave.
>With that finished, Applejack formally welcomes them all...

Hooooo damn there was not much to work with here..
I legit tried to come up with something new just so that the discussion didn't go around in circles again.

On the one hand I don't want to suggest another OC, on the other the only other prominent male characters in the show are Fancy, Flim and Flam, Blueblood and Big Mac.

So we're kinda screwed.

>Yaaawwwnnn...phew, what a crazy coupla days...uhh...what’s this here bump? Uh...huh...WHEN THE HAY DID HAVE SEX!?



>So we're kinda screwed.
We're not, so don't you worry.
Good job, Super Satan.

>Ooo la la, taking me out to a fancy restaurant, you treat me so well!

"Gotta keep ya' happy so ya' make me the money. Makes ya' look reaaally pretty."

>That explains the thigh-high boots at least.

"Those are for mah' personal amusement."

>Such a selfish mare.

"Just fer' that? No breadsticks."

>But those are all you can afford!

"Better get that waitress over here and earn yer' keep, then."

>Ha haaaa, this is totally worth all the stares we're getting.

"Iffin' Ah' gave a single care 'bout what the snobs of Canterlot thought of me, Ah'd have buried mah'self alive so Ah' could grow a little."

>Apt analogy. Wish I had the same option, I had to be as prim and proper as I could when I was trying to get close to Cadence.

"As someone who spent like a week actin' like that, you have mah' pity."

>It wasn't all terrible. It was nice sometimes to pretend I was in the 'elite'.

"Ya'll are a prince world savior, think ya'll are a little more elite than 'mah' parents had a lot of money a'fore they bumped uglies.'"

>I'm talking about back then. Back then I was just another soldier, couldn't pick me out of a lineup if you tried. I had to do something to stand out, and since most of the guys were a lot more laid back or 'rough', well...

"Dang, now ya' got me thinkin' about when the most Ah' worried about was if the crops would get done on time."

>Before Nightmare Moon seems like an entirely different world, doesn't it?

"We've always had hydras, giant star bears, controlling the weather with our dang hooves and a giant white pony who controls the sun, but now things have gotten weird!"

>Right? Now we have two giant ponies and everything!

"And we got more people showin' up for birthdays!"

>And then we have to take into account that really weird new place on Neighth street.

"It's a whole new world!"

>All sorts of new things...


"Do ya' wish you could go back?"

>Not even for a moment. Even if I do miss it, I'd miss all of this a lot more.

"Very honest, Ah' like that. Though ya' have ta' admit, ya' probably get a lot more action now than ya' ever did before."

>The irony would blow your mind if you only realized.

"HAW! Well, maybe ya'll can change that in the near future, iffin' yer' lucky."

>And to that, I call out. Waiter! Something tall and sparkling!

"Ah'll give you this, you work fast."

>I swear, it's like you don't know me at all.
>In all the arguing, these two remain so damn chill and fun together.

>Though ya' have ta' admit, ya' probably get a lot more action now than ya' ever did before."
>>The irony would blow your mind if you only realized.

Well he is married.
Rain or snow, the writers always deliver.
>Cup Cake
“Carrot Cake”

>Honeybun? We need to stab someone.


>We could have made the biggest, tastiest, sugariest, most delicious cake ever made to celebrate their victory.

“The best!”

>We could have charged a small fortune.

“Put both kids through the very best schools!”

>And yet instead… we got LOOTED!

“Looting for sugar high! In CANTERLOT!”

>Who does that!?

“Who would want that!?”

>I would call the guard if I didn’t see one in there!

“I’m writing such a strongly worded letter…”
Hit it, Dolly

Hayseed Turniptruck pulled his empty cart behind him, the morning sun barely peaking over the horizon as he headed to his first job of the day: Trash pickup.

Hayseed was a simple stallion, salt of the earth as more high-minded folk would put it, though his general look brought more dirt to mind than salt, the normal working schmoe that the highfalutin ponies of Canterlot tolerated for the sake of their streets being cleaned and windows washed. He didn't hold it against them, of course, life was too short to give time to someone not about to give that time to you.

Trotting along the street with his radio taped to the side of the cart, the stallion stopped every so often to gather up a full bag of garbage left by the street and toss it into the cart. Not exactly glamorous work, even less so considering what one had to do when an earth pony was the one doing the job.

Mouthwash was a regular on the grocery list.

A few times Hayseed had considered buying one of those infusion thingies that would let him lift the bags with magic. But infusions cost bits and those were for rent, food, and putting away for that trip to Manehattan he'd been planning for a while now...


Hayseed blinked, in the latest pile of bags he'd disturbed something metal. Rolling his eyes the working pony made a note to remind the owners of whichever boutique he was currently in front-there were a lot of those here-that such things went in the recycling bin when he got a good look at what was down there.

A sack of bits with a note attached. A note addressed to him. Blinking, Hayseed picked up the note and flipped it open, inside was a simple message:

"Crime #1: Littering

Thanks for the Apple, owed you one."

Along with a scribble of a familiar mare winking next to it. Tilting his head, Hayseed yanked the fullness of the sack out of the trash and his eyes widened...

"H-holy smokes! Ahm goin' ta Manehattan!"
Dawwww, good girl UC
I completely forgot about that.
>H-holy smokes! Ahm goin' ta Manehattan!"

Wait why manehatten? Thought it would be las pegaus

>Holy shit.

“Right? The moment she does a diversity hire for a mudpony into the highest position, looting and riots shoot up like weeds.”

>You set things on fire all night!

“Encouraging bad behavior, I swear.”
Does this mean he used to get plenty before this all happened?
Minor details come back like that all the time.

>So are they like... scheming?


>Ah'm just noticing them overlooking their forces and talking all weird.

"They do that."

>Like, very obviously about it too. They're just standing there, menacingly!

"I've come to find they're almost... what's the word, cartoonish?"

>Just super obvious! Cept for the griffon, he seems nice.

"He doesn't take after his father, I'll give him that."

>You've met?

"He hit on me a lot back when he was younger."


"All the time, and he was super obvious about it too. His innuendo and sex joke game were weak."

>Huh. This before or after he met the missus?

"I'm fairly certain it's before, but it's hard to keep track of decades anymore."


"I'm not joking."

>Ah' know, and that's why Ah'm worried.
>So did the others hit on you?

"That dog over there never did, but only because I don't know who he is. Previous Diamond Dog leader though? Yeah. The word 'bitch' was thrown around a lot, and I don't think he meant it in the biological way."

>Saddle Arabain?

"I believe his predecessor a hundred or so years ago mentioned if I became his concubine I could get away from my life of rule... I was tempted for a minute."


"Well the sixth time it gets asked in three hundred years, you start to think about it!"

>Don't tell me the minotaur did too.

"Nah, he says we're horrible abominations that don't deserve to live on account of having hooves on our front ends."

>How far back was this one!?

"Like six years ago, I think? Twilight was still in school."


"I've been propositioned a LOT and almost kidnapped more times than I can count."


"Super powerful beings don't count!"

>Or vines.

"Or vines created by super powerful beings."

>He's a bit of a dick.

"Sooooo glad he's home, I'm thrilled."

>Who's gonna hit on you next?

"Only time will tell. By the way? Start figuring out how to turn them down gracefully now, will save you a lot of time later."

>Ah' like 'Buck off.'

"Atta girl."
>So wait, who hit on Luna?



"You're still pretty, Lulu!"


>You feel that? That's what victory feels like.

"Wouldn't know, Ah' reckon. Ain't had a whole lot of winnin' here lately."

>Then drink this in, dear Applejack! Drink it in and taste victory once more!

"Kinda sucks that writin' a bit of legislation allowin' for a more robust aquifier to be made in Appleoosa is 'winning' ta' us, feels like this should just come natural."

>Winning is natural. See this? We're not dead, which means we've won against the inevitable specter of death for just another day. No matter who you are, if you're breathing, you've won at least something.

"What if ya' ain't?"

>Can you think of examples?

"A few, yeah."

>Well then, they've won against being forgotten, and that's sometimes even harder.

"Yer' bein' sunnier than Celestia right now, and Ah' don't know iffin' Ah' like it."

>Obviously because you love it.

"Lotta things Ah' love in this here world, don't know iffin' that's one of them."

>You'll accept it, in time.


>Annnnd there's the smile. And I get another victory.

"Heh... fine, ya' get a little one."

>Little victories are wins all the same.
Want to write something of this calibre but with Rarity but 2 drunk to do so
So... chill.

>his calibre

Er... no offense to the story up there, but that's not exactly gold standard or anything, it's pretty simple and fun. Which worked for it, just saying.
Hearsay remains more appetizing than fact as usual.
Ah yes, the casual ideas so easily dolled out by the few to incite the masses perceived wit is often so easily debunked by sadly far less exciting reality, is it not? That an idea of something more grand can incite those to action no matter how false when even the most stern of fact can be disregarded is the folly of the humanity that seeks tales grander than the more mundane they must trudge through every day. Such is the tragedy of our humanity.

I too like saying random facts of life, fellow anon!
..thank you for that insight?
Maybe this will inspire you!

>I have been informed that you have been acting grumpy lately, and I cannot let this stand.

"Betrayal! Who in mah' court has spoken out against me!?"

>I shall not name them, for I will not risk those loyal to you acting out when I have swiftly cloven the grump from your face.


"At ease, Winona... ya'll shall have yer' time."

>But you shall not! Have at you!


"Ya'll think throwin' a ball at me is gonna cheer me up? Ya' sure ya' ain't got me mixed up with-"


"No! Mah' guardian! What have you done?!"

>You've none to protect you now.

"Ah' don't need protection. All Ah' need is Kicks Mgee, and-"



>I have been trained by the master Tah-ooo~, you have no hope against me!


>Indeed! Strangle, grump feeling! Feel the last of your breath leave you!


>Annnnndddddd, FINISH!

"Hoo... hooooahah...ya'll suck."

>I do not, that is hurtful.

"Ticklin' ain't fair, Ah' got more pudge on me now."

>More to tickle!



"But thank you."

>Just doing a BBBFF work.




>Oh dear... it seems I must stop you.

"No wait Shiny Ah' was just kiddin' don't-AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHWINONAHEELLLPPPP!"



>I am now picturing Two with a giant fake beard
>I am now dead
There are worse ways to die.
>The ways of the tickles is not a path ya' get ta' tread lightl. Ya' must move like the fluffiest butterfly, zip like a firefly through a hoofhole, tickle like a little fuzzy thing in a big field... actually that sounds like most of it, iffin' you can do that ya' got it. It sounds easy when Ah' say it like that cause it is, tickles is for everyone.

"You know, you don't have to keep doing that."

>Doing what?

"Leave playing cute for Two and Flurry, you know what I mean."

She felt the shrug of his shoulders on her own, she could even feel the way his eyes innocently rolled around as if looking for whatever she could mean. Playful, like a child.

"Shining, stop it with the horn."

And every bit as obvious.

>You need something to keep you warm.

"I actually have magic thanks to the power of hoofbumps, you do not."

>I have enough.

"Only if you want to pass out and fall off my back. Wouldn't that be a treat for me to have to explain. Oh, Shiny? Oh yes, he survived fighting one on one with the giant glowing world destroyer, but then he decided I just really needed a space heater on my back and long story short he's white as snow, if you get my drift."

>I'd like to think you'd carry me home.

"If you're dumb enough to magically drain yourself to death in the middle of the air, I've got to be the bigger mare and not be dumb enough to stick my cold hooves in the snow to dig you out."

>Alright, alright.

She felt him try and utterly fail to hide a sigh of relief as his horn went dim, and the bitter cold of the frozen north assaulted her unabated. She shivered as the wall of sheer cold nearly threatened to knock her off course and into a spiral towards a frozen doom, only holding on by the barest amount before she resumed her flight. Her teeth clenched so she would not chatter, her eyes narrowed so the tiny bits of ice would not fly into them, and she sucked in deeply to keep the fire in her lungs.

She held on, she did not fall, and she would not let herself be beaten. She would not be felled by a mere storm, she was stronger than that.

>Regretting that now, aren't you?


She wished he had been mocking in his voice. It would have been so much easier to snap back angrily if he had just been jabbing at her perceived foolishness. The soft tone and gentle prodding he gave made it clear that was anything but, nothing more than honest concern he tried to mask with a bit of levity.

She didn't feel very lifted right then.

>Still think we should've flown to the nearest town.

"And I still know that everyone would have been heading there anyway, meaning the trains would have been overloaded and rerouted away from the Empire to take them home. You need to think ahead, Shiny."

>I do need to get more into the habit of that.

She felt a bit of warmth on her back, and could already feel the annoyed hiss between her clenched teeth.

>Calm down, this is just me.

Whatever ease she felt from that revelation quickly found itself quashed beneath the realization that even his subtle act had drastically warmed her body. It would have been better not to think of that, and if such a thing was possible she surely would have pushed it away.

>I can do this.

What she could not do herself, she found in the gentle squeeze and subtle warmth along her back, chasing away thoughts of how cold it all must be for this to make such a drastic change. She felt warm again, in a way. Warm enough she could look ahead, and fly straight once more.

Finally, she could fly without worry once more.

>I wish I could fly beside you, instead of having to be carried...

Until she felt a strange weight on her shoulders, one that had nothing to do with the pony on her back.

"You're fine the way you are."

>I know I am, I know I don't need to be... that for someone to care about me, you all showed me that pretty clearly. Sometimes I just find myself wishing again... it's silly.

"I guess it's not. Flight, more power, more abilities, being able to..."

The unspoken implication made every second that passed them by all the more heavy.


>I promised Celestia I would fight that, by the way.

"You did, did you?"

>Yeah... promised her I'll be around for as long as I can. Fighting death, that's natural. That's something we're meant to do.

"And the wings would just make it easier?"

>That's how I see it.

"Heh, never promised me that, why did I get left out of all the daring promises?"

>...Because you didn't have to, and I liked the idea.

"The idea of what?"

>That someone would be around for Cadence even if I'm gone.

Her wings went stiff for a moment, and it took ever drop of will in her magical mind and every beat of fire from within her to keep from letting them fall.

"None of that."

>I thought you'd be flattered.

"I don't like thinking about you being gone."

He could feel the sharpness in her voice, so thin it could have carved through stone.

"I don't like that... at all. I've dealt with a lot of others leaving me, some who seemed like they'd be around forever... it's never easy, and I don't like thinking about more."

>I don't like it very much either.

She felt him squeeze, and just a bit of the stiffness in her wings slipped away.

>Chrysalis?... I promise I'll stay around as long as I can.

"...H-hah, I bet you say that to all the beautiful mares."

>Only the ones I like.

Had it not burned so much, she would have let the sting underneath her eyes be. As it was, she could not stand it any longer, and hated that she must let him see her brush the frozen piece away.

"Besides, I don't think I could handle Cadence all by myself."


"Obviously. No matter what rumors you've heard, I can't give her more kids, Shining."

>You think she wants more?

"Obviously! Look how she is with Flurry, guarantee that she's completely flipped her perspective."

>I don't know, she strangled me pretty hard.


"I'd strangle you too if you did that to me, I deserve to be sleek and sexy forever! Besides, if you left, do you think I could cheer her up like you could? Come on. She likes you better, obviously. It would be terrible if she would have to go through that. She doesn't deserve that, she deserves..."

Her head abruptly whipped back and forth, shaking off the snow that had gathered on her face and any errant lines of thought that would have come with her words.

"Point is, don't die. Bribe Celly to make you all multi-limbed if you have to."

>I don't think that option is on the table.

"Well then, we only have one choice. I have to blackmail Luna."

>Please don't.

"And risk being without this for as long as I can? HAH!"

To put a point on it, her lower half gave a little bump that lifted the stallion up briefly.

"Blackmailing it is! Caddy can thank me by letting me tag in next time you get a victory win."

>Wait, are you saying tag in with me, or her?


That was the only answer she would give, and they both knew it.

>You know, sometimes I wonder what's going to happen if you eventually get what you want.

Her hoof raised up, twirling playfully in front of him before jabbing forward and booping him on the nose.

"We'll find out someday~"

He laughed, and how good it felt to laugh again.

>We're almost there.

Off in the distance, he spied it. The glorious city of crystal. His new home, where all he loved was waiting for him.

"Told you I could make it."

Waiting for them.

>I stand proven wrong.

"No pegasi flying everywhere, which means Caddy and the others are still hunkered down inside."

>That... is the most relieving thing I've heard all night.


He sighed, going limp against her back.

>Thank goodness she didn't do anything stupid like try to leave.

"Shiny, she just gave birth like three days ago, I think she might not be in the mood for flight. What's she going to do, leave a newborn with a babysitter?"

>I know, I know, I just got these crazy worries down there, that's all.

"And now look at you. Looking stupid, feeling stupid, and guess what you are?"


"I was going to say sexy, but I guess you can be both."

How good it felt to laugh.

"Come on, Conquering Hero, let's go home and... huh. Shiny?"


"Has that always been there?"

He slowly, carefully, looked up to what currently lie at the peak of the Empire's shield.

>...Chrysalis, go faster.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that. HAH!"

At long, long last, they were finally home.

As true as that word could ever be, they were both home.
k cool

Now dump her and get to Cadence and B ready to get ass blasted USA
...okay, normally I'm the one to praise BEST PAIR and I usually am the first to say "not as good as Best Pair but still pretty good."

But that? That was BEST PAIR level through and through. Good job.

>Dat fucking back and forth

Seriously heartwarming, caring and cuddleworthy. Would curl up with coco.

Right? One of the rare Chrysalis stories I legit feel is on par with the Celestia lot. The subtle shifts, the way they said stuff without saying it, how they read each other, I loved it.

>B ready to get ass blasted USA
Does this mean be ready to be mad or get his ass blasted cause she's mad? I can't see why either would be mad.
Fug the bug already! It's painfully obvious you want to! Get freaky with the shapeshifting!

I think Shiny will be pretty uh, "upset" when he figures out what Cadence has been up to.
>I can't see why either would be mad.
You think the slightly delirious comedown from a shot of psychosis brought on by sheer inadequacy and being left out of Shining's efforts means she's going to happy as a clam to see him?

Cause she understands she went crazy right there, if anything she'd be super embarrassed she acted like that, not mad he didn't bring her along to nearly die punching God. She knows she fucked up bringing the kids even close to there, and they went in the opposite direction even. I think she'll be very happy to see him alive again.
>All that Chrysalis talk

You fools! We all know 42's going to get bughugsX100 after he's done cuddling his wife back to sanity. You just wait.
>>That someone would be around for Cadence even if I'm gone.

Holy shit man
Yeah, that was pretty heavy.

42 is getting MEGAHUGS you know it. She's getting so tightly hugged Shining will have to figure out how to pry apart diamonds before he gets off her.
Be kinda dickish if she acted like this was his fault...
>Cause she understands she went crazy right there, i

Does she? That is for the story to decide!
Didn't mean to sound like I was talking for the characters, though I realize it came off that way. I just meant she previously, during the finale, broke down and admitted she knew she was wrong. If it sticks post crazy is another story, yeah.
Now see that kinda puts the whole "Cadence is upset Flurry likes Chrysalis" in an... odd place.
Odd.. or better?
Muuuch better

>Ya'll noticin' that Shining has a weird tendency to make mares come to him sometime after either they beat the crud out of him, or vice versa?

"As one of those mares, I can attest this."

>Ah' wonder why?

"Didn't you yell at him, fight with him, and beat him up way back at the start?"

>...Break the portal.



It started with a yawn. And then a wince. And then a yelp as the Princess of Love rolled off the crib she'd been sleeping on for who knows how long.

>Aghh... My back!

She rises from the floor and gingerly tries to rub the pain away, only to stop as she takes note of the empty crib and an overwhelming fear seizes her.

>Flurry Heart?! Two?! Where...

But it subsides when she hears the quiet babbling of her newborn filly and the snores of her big sister on the bed nearby, the two of them huddled together underneath a blanket.

Cadence lets out a sigh of relief and smiles as she takes a moment to enjoy the sight of her children safe and sound in a loving embrace.

>...? Oh...

But when she takes a look at their "hair" and her own outfit.

>Oh no...

The memories of last night come rushing back.

>Oh no!

And in that moment.

>Oh no no no no no!

She realizes just how much she fugged up.
>Now you done messed up
Good news! She's saner than she was before!

Bad news, she now has to explain this.

>Okay, Cadence, you need to figure out a way out of this without it being crazy. This was.. a sex thing! Totally was a sex thing! That I somehow involved our kids in... okay, do NOT go that route, not a sex thing, zero sex things involved! This was the antisex thing, this was an abstinence showpiece! Okay maybe it was... cheerleaders! Cheerleaders to cheer them on! I'm in a skirt, I can pull this off! This is totally just a cheer thing! And... it also involves us being next to a giant monster who's downing airships... wow there is no way for me to spin this without coming off crazy. Okay then, plan b.


"Cadence! Honey! I'm home-"


>Hey naninani with the WOOOOOOOOO!

*Cartwheels out the window.*


>Cadence becomes Crazdance

And thus, the Pink Pony Curse takes hold.

>Next stop, Trottingham.

"I hate giant bugs. We're supposed to eat bugs, not ride them!"

>I don't think you could eat this one. It would probably eat you.

"I know, right? A perversion of nature!"

>Meh, some things someone thinks is unnatural can be pretty... fun.

"...some things."

>It's nice to finally be able to talk again, and not have to worry about everything going wrong or dying.

"Yep, lot we can talk about."

>Anything, really!

"Because we're right next ta' each other, ain't like we gotta walk."

>And everyone's mostly going home.

"Which is good, cause we can go home now."

>We can!

"Or talk."

>Talking is fine too.





"...Ya' think Palaminos is open?"

>I think that was a front for a mob syndicate.

"Huh. So no?"

>Probably renovating.

"Huh. Shoot."

>A shame.


"Have you heard from Sweetie Belle?"

>No, what about Applebloom?



'Hey gals, wanna help me see if I can find Scoots?'


'... So that's a no?'
"Well ta' be fair Ah' did see her like... immediately before all this, it's not like Big Mac and Granny were gonna leave her all by herself!"



>Okay, so, how are we going to explain this to Shining?

"Concisely with all important details highlighted as accurately as possible while also minimizing all superficial details which will be noted in a ledger for future study and documentation should the situation require it."

'Lie our asses off and say we were eating pizza and watching movies the whole time.'

~Punch him in the face and hope he's distracted enough he doesn't ask!~

>...Okay these are all completely different ideas, but they're all somehow equally as stupid as the other. How did you do that?

'Then what do you plan to do, miss smarty pants?'

"I love that doll."

>Ahem. What I plan to do is tell him to talk with Cadence and reveal no details, allowing her to explain herself or allow him to see her currently still being crazy, whichever event that follows is fine.



~...So let her deal with it.~

>Don't put it like that!

~You are the best girlfriend.~



>So do you think we should be paid?

“Yes. All day every day. For being awesome.”

>Besides that I mean. If Celestia is going to send us on missions to talk to dragons, fight evil, and generally help ponies out whenever they have mild to moderate disagreements, why aren’t we getting paid for it?

“Huh. It is pretty time and labor invasive.”

>Right? Cost and time of transportation, materials, risk of injury which could lead to time lost on a job…

“Hey! Yeah! Why don’t we get paid for this?!”

>It’s more dangerous than what the soldiers do, and they get paid!

“They get some serious money!”

>I mean they’re not rich but they’re compensated, but us? Nothing!

“This is some bulllshiiiit!”

>…so you agree?

“Yeah we’ll go talk to her later, cause we can do that.”

>Just walk right up to her and bring it up, cause we do that all the time and it’s not a big deal.

“I’m glad we’re friends with her.”

>Yeah she’s nice.


“Why did you start twitching?”

>I don’t know but I’m angry.
It’s always her fault.

She didn’t even do anything! Which I guess is the problem...

“How’s it goin’ with Flurry.”

>I think she’s really smart!


>Yeah! She knows exactly when my eyebrows come back, and then she times it perfectly to blast me in the face and remove them. Consistent and able to tell time, she’s going to be brilliant when she gets older.

“Impressive. This make ya’ worried about the future?”

>Nahhh, it’ll all be worth it to watch her grow up, take her first big bites of real food, saying her first words, going off to school all by herself-BAWWWWW!

“Little preemptive.”


“Now ya’ll stop that.”


“S-stop it, now Ah’m thinkin’ about… about…”



~Honey, have you seen-~


>She knows exactly when my eyebrows come back, and then she times it perfectly to blast me in the face and remove them

>Sissy? We need ta’ work on the zappies.



>Good, ya’ understand me and know what Ah’m talkin’ about. The zappies gotta stop.



>Yep, ta’ clarify, that, ya’ gotta stop that. Yer’ blowin’ up stuff we don’t wanna blow up no more. In fact, we want it not-exploded at all!


>See? Ah’ knew you could get it! Yer’ the smartest little sissy there ever-


>Sissy don’t hurt me.



>Don’t hurt me no more.
Considering how you did with Applebloom, uh...
Someone bring that up to her in canon, she'll unironically have a mental breakdown
She DID. That happened. A robot was involved.
>Applejack promises not to lose sight of her and neglect her again
It's gonna happen again
She didn’t lose sight of her, Applebloom was in Ponyville and tried to take a homemade rocket to go see AJ, only it veered of course and landed in Everfree, where they got chased by a Poison Joked Minuette before running into Grand Pear, and then falling into a hole after a chase scene. Inside that hole was Dread Knight, and then they kept falling and here we are.

Literally 100 percent ABs fault.

>You are crazy good at this.

“Is… is that a compliment?”

>I’m just saying, I can never get the rolls just right.

“I’ve done a lot of kneading training.”

>Really? With what?

“Mostly molding greenspit for sticking bombs onto things.”


“Greenspit is that stuff we spit out that’s green.”


“You knew that, didn’t you?”

>Was trying to shift the conversation.

“Ahem. Well, I would think you of all ponies would be great at kneading things with your hooves.”

>I’m really not, this stuff is like a giant claw nail, it’s not exactly good for soft rubbing unless you soak it for hours.


>You know that thing where if you get sick a lot, eventually you just get immune? I’m pretty sure I’m that.

“Noted. But for the record… I can make mine as soooft as I want.”


“Thinking about it, aren’t you?”

>The strain might have evolved…
AJ's gonna feel very much at fault.
Also who's writing that goddamn the prospect of proper Apple Family meetups has gotten a lot more weighty now that Shatnerpone is there
>DANG IT! Ah knew Ah should have taught her proper rocket procedure so she could more effectively build a homemade contraption to fly to me at a moments notice! AHM A TURRBL SISTAAHHHH

“You were played, you know.”

The griffon king paid little mind to her chiding, every bit of his focus instead pointed straight ahead as the last of the griffons loaded themselves into the back of a, likely, completely safe transportation on their linkup to heading home.

“She deliberately made it look like if we didn’t step up, it was us who kept any real meaningful unity from being achieved, and in exchange, she got her city rebuilt and the hoard of criminals within it from spreading out across her lands.”

>Do remember some of those ‘criminals’ were about to be returned to our land as well. They would have spread too.

“Not very far, if the Vultures have anything to say about that.”

>I hardly think they would be worthy of those. Please don’t speak their name where others may hear, we’re attempting to be a little more…


>I was going to say approachable. Our tourism industry is finally on the rise again, I’d like to keep it that way. This will be a good way to spread the word of our nations beauty.

“As if we needed more spilling in from outside our borders.”

>We can’t keep them all out, you should know that. However, letting them in on our terms is far more acceptable.

“To you, perhaps.”

Keen eyes looked back for a second just long enough that he could see her frown and huff.

>Are you angry that I did not ask your opinion before agreeing to this?

“Furious. Luckily for your tail, I know time was of the essence, and if we could not be the first to jump in we must be the next best thing. If those dogs had volunteered before us, the shame would be almost as great as if we had been the only one to deny her.”

>If I had the time to ask, would you have gone against me?

“We both know I wouldn’t. When it comes to being smart, that is my department. When it comes to looking good, that is where your talents lie.”


>Well then in that case, do you wish to oversee the management of funds and who we allow passes to? And of course you will have to have some level of transparency with the others...

“I don’t know if I can keep up your image of ‘approachability’.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his cheek.

>If the one I put in charge had to make some difficult decisions, well, surely it would be rude to imply I made a mistake, would it not? The command is to do what’s best for my kingdom, surely none of them would be against that when I’m being so soft, would they? That would imply something quite… unfortunate.

She met that smile.

“Excellent to see I’m finally rubbing off on you.”

His smile widened as he reared back, and spread his arms wide with talons open.

>There is quite a lot we don’t know about our neighbors on this continent, after all. I do so love to learn about them. Perhaps we’ll find a time when there truly is peace in our world for whoever comes next.

“If not?”

He lowered down, still smiling.

>Then if nothing else, we’ll make sure that whoever comes next has little left to deal with.

The last of his forces loaded into the buckets on the centipede’s back. It was finally time to go home.

>Come, mother and father over in that city are probably wondering what’s taking us so long.

“Yes, the sooner we get to it, the better. There is much we must do.”

The two shared a look,.

>Let’s try to get ahead of it before the world changes all over again.
>the Vultures have anything to say about that.”

Did you have assassins this whole time!? They suck at their job!
Naming them after a bird that only shows up when something is already dead should have been a tip-off
>Oh no no; we don’t kill anyone, we just wait for them to die. We’re very paitient.

>Gwen? This is why you never get taken anywhere on mother’s day. This? This is it.

“Don’t call me that in public.”

>Gwen, tell dad to stop harassing the waitress.

“You are just asking to be beaten again.”

‘No fish!? None?! I ask for one thing, one thing! You said this was a place with all the delicacies of the mountains, and you don’t have fish!?’

>It meant mountain springs, mountain lilies, fruit that grows on mountains..

‘Fish live on mountains! They do! I’ve seen them!’

>Natural fish?

‘You’re about to feel my natural talon in your face!’

“Give me a signal, we’ll double-slap him.”

>Dad! Child abuse? Really? I thought so much better of you! Gwen you’re pretty much on track, thanks for not beating expectations.

“Or I’ll just use both talons, that’s fine too!”

‘Do you at least have Elk?...What do you mean they’re sentient here!? This country is insane!’

>This is why I drink. I want you both to know this, this is why I drink.

“Don’t, it’ll ruin your kids.”

>And what are you basing that off of?


>…Waitress! Yeah, just… whatever is in the medicine cabinet is fine.
>We use the most lethal weapon of all... TIME
>Soon the whole world was in tears, and they never knew why
You know they never did explain what Fluttershy did to make money, which was super ironic considering the episode with Zephyr.
Mother of god... it’s unstoppable!
Is on my side... yes. It is!
It’s gonna be huuuuge
Dunno how we’re gonna get the Cupcake and MM subplot though...
Could also get awkward...

>Oh yeah, your mom! We used to be friends, oh the stories I could tell... but it sounds better when she does it. Hold on. GHOST SUMMONING!


“Hi kids!”


“Is it the hair? I bet it’s the hair, I did it totally wrong.”
These guys are legit sounding funny
>Idris, why do you keep them around?

“They’ve got a 100 percent success rate!”

>They don’t do anything!

“And it works!”

>Who gave you this idea!?

Elsewhere, Celestia smirks.
>How do you even recruit for this!?

“They have to play a full game of Monopony without throwing a punch.”


“And... using the actual rules. So no 200 for passing go.”

>How many can possibly do that!?

“We almost have enough for a full game!”

>Don’t you technically only need 2 players?


>Is that yer’ sister over there?


>It looks like her.

“I saw nothing.”

>It really looks like Maud over there.

“I sawwww nothing.”

>Ah’m serious, Ah’ can see her.

“You’re seeing nothing.”

>She’s right there!

“Where there? There is nothing.”

>Right there! Right! There!

“Nothing, nothing? Nothing it is.”


“Daddy will be so mad if you don’t shut up right now.”

>Ya’ll can just say that.

“Say what, nothing?”



>I think your sister noticed us.

“I’m not worried.”


“Rule one of sisters... snitches dig their own ditches.”

>... what’s rule two?

“Make it quick.”

>The ditch?


>I-I’m gonna stop talking now.

>We have a lot more soliders than I thought.

“We might have done some recruitment inside of their dreams.”

>…is… is that legal?

“We have no advertising laws in regards to it.”

>None at all?

“We don’t have advertising laws at all, no. We are allowed to put posters or recruiters pretty much anywhere, so long as none beneath the age limit are actually recruited.”


“Does thou disapprove?”

>Kinda, but that’s not what I’m waiting for.

“What is it, then?”





>Waiiiit for it…


~Tia? Gotta question.~


>Whelp, here we are.


>Back safe and sound.

"Relatively speaking."

>Back agaiiiiin.

"Back home."



>"Never speak of this again?... Deal."

>It was fun, Shining.

"No it wasn't.

>No it wsn't.

"But... since it never happened..."

>Which it didn't.

"Maybe we can have another one... someday."

>...I'd like that.

"Yeah... maybe-"


"Like now. Right now. Spike get us out of here."



>It was his idea!



>...I had fun.
And thus, the fever dream comes to an end.

HELL of a trip man.
Damn, is it reallyover? I never knew what to expect, but it was always crazy.
>And thus ends Spike's main contribution to the story in recent months
It's over... it's finally over.

“So how much longer do you think it’ll be before they get-“

Fire erupted into the middle of the floor of the hallowed grounds of the Crystal Castle, and the question was answered. Those closest dived away as quickly as they could, even though they knew the flames could not burn them. It was not the fire they feared.


It was what came after.


The stern, commanding, and more than a little panicky voice jolted them back all over again, but they could not get far enough away this time. Shining Armor shot forwards and grabbed hold of the nearest body he could reach, landing either unfortunately or very fortunately on Eighteen. With eyes bouncing about in his skull as he scanned her face over with all the attention to detail of a watchmaker. Looking and searching for anything at all.

"No tearstreaks, no creases of horror, no eyes watering with somber acceptance, no regretful glimmer..."

He sighed so hard they swore he lost a foot or two from his height, deflating like a balloon.

"Nobody's dead or maimed. Okay, we're okay, so that was... was..."

Without the fear in him to worry him that something terrible had happened, he could finally take real stock of not just her face, but the rest of her as well.


Her and the others in the room with her.


Them, and what they were wearing.


His eyes started darting around, landing on Eighteen, then Forty Two, then Spitfire, back to Eighteen, over to Spitfire, once more to Forty Two, never sticking on any one after his eyes started to wander over their clothing, their leggings, their skirt...


Beads of sweat were starting to form on his head as he kept looking at them, all of them with faces blank out of confusion. Even from across the room, they could hear his heart begin to beat faster.


He froze. Green eyes flicked over to the Changeling in his grasp, and he patiently waited.

"You... okay?"


He waited, and waited, his eyes pleading with her for reasons she could not understand. She just sat there, utterly confused in his tight grip and trying to follow why he kept looking at all of them


Finally, out of desperation, he looked to the one who had brought him here.

"HAH! Damn, everyone. Why're you all dressed up? It looks... nice."

Spitfire swore the Queen was checking her out.

"Are you checking me out?"

"I'm checking you out. You look good in tall boots."


It was good to be right.

"You too, you know. I like the colors."

The Queen winked at her solider, who's sole response was to nod stoically, before she subtly began to smooth her skirt.

"Seriously, love the look, except for you mister no-fun. Can you try to be sexy once in a while?"

The former king made of crystal, oddly, smiled very smugly.

"Ignoring that. So what's with the duds? Could this be... a surprise for a certain returning hero?"

The changeling in the stallion's hold felt him go completely, utterly stiff.

"Ahhhhh, no. This is not a surprise for anyone except us, and it was not a fun surprise."

She didn't know what to think when his grip finally softened, and slipped.

"Ahhahaha, of course. Two wanting to play dressup? Teleportation accident? Just... really wanted to try clothing to test fire? There's a lot of explanations here! Lots... lots of different explanations for why..."

He sounded a little strained, they noted.

"I wish that was the explanation. The truth is that things went... kind of wrong."

There was that tension again.

"Nobody is hurt! Okay? It's just... well..."

She looked to the others, hoping for some sort of aide to come to her. Truest friend that she was, only Forty Two would answer her call and stepped forwards.

"Ahem. Shining Armor, to put this in very, very... veerrryyy simple terms-"

Her words were cut off by a the boom of a door suddenly slamming open.



Then came the followup even louder boom of a sobbing princess. Everyone watched, frozen, before she ran past them both and made a beeline straight for the master bedroom, ignoring all attempts by the others to catch her before she made it too far. The door shut and locked in a second, and they could all hear the crying inside, despite the soundproof nature of giant crystal walls. For a long, long, long pause of time, anywhere between a mere minute and an hour, everyone stood still and listened to the muffled cries.

"AHEM! So! Shining! So glad to see you're alright, we worried you might not be in the best of shape after that. We heard a rumor you were present near the end, is that true? You certainly look a little rough for wear, but we want you to know we're all very proud..."

Despite the unicorn's best attempts, the deadpanned flat look he got in return made it very clear how effective it was.

"I suppose you should go deal with that."

Despite how exhausted he looked, how hurt he still seemed, how many scratches, scrapes and bruises on his body, and how just plain tired of it all he obviously was, he still dutifully reached out to Forty Two, and waited.

"Best of luck."

With a nod, she teleported him with a ring of fire into the bedroom. Leaving behind the others to stand there in silence until he finally vanished.

"...so do you really think I look good?"

They did not know what was more painful, that Spitfire had honestly asked that, or that Chrysalis had enthusiastically given a nod and a hoofs up.

"It's nice to be complimented."

Their groan never made it through the crystal walls, where now there was only a stallion, and a princess crying into her pillow.


He slowly trotted towards the bed, more out of stiffness in his near frozen limbs than caution.

"What happened? Come on, you can talk to me."


Slowly, carefully, he slipped into the bed beside her.

"Cadence, please talk to me, it's been very terrible night-"


He instantly regretted moving so close. Her grip was like a vice, her hooves like crushing claws and he saw death once more in his spotty vision.

"I... I..."

"Tell me..."

She looked up at her straining, breathless, blue faced husband, and she cried.


She sobbed, she cried, and she pressed her face to his chest, painfully jabbing him with her horn.

"...and... and then?"

He felt her sob harder, and knew her story, and this pain, were only beginning.

"...g-great to be baaacckkk..."

>Shining doesn't want to SAY he was hoping all of them were dressed up like that for him and fun times were about to ensue
>But he's still destroyed when he learns the truth.
>Shining all tempted seeing them dress up like that
>The way he makes Chrysalis ask for him.
>Chrysalis casually hitting on Spitfire and she actually likes and that reveals the truth.

Chrysalis is a god-tier wingman.
That was all so delightfully awkward.
>Get attacked by monsterponies
>Get in super battle
>Nearly get vaporized
>Have to talk down Supernova Celestia
>Fight shard of God
>Fight ACTUAL God
>Get your ass kicked but survive
>Sister blows you off, literally
>Fly across miles through a frozen Tundra without magic
>Get home
>Deal with all this shit

Shining does not deserve this.
Look man, if you went through all this >>32407285 and then you get home and everyone is dressed up in sexy costumes, your'e allowed to dream. But life isn't fair, so no sexy party, only tears.

Not jut Cadence tears.
This is going to hurt.

>So this is not a sex thing.

"When is it EVER a sex thing?"

'I don't think we even have a sex thing!'

(NOBODY we know has a sex thing!)


>He laughs because we're all in pain.
>Crystal Pony

>Looks like the prince is home.


>...he's going to have a MASSIVE orgy, isn't he?

"We'll never know, because we're not invited."


"Cry with me."

>Ya' think everything is alright back at the Empire?

"I see no Crystal soliders or Changeling soldiers. Which means that, at some point, Cadence probably very loudly declared she could not go to war right after having a baby, and slapped the army for trying to leave. Likewise, Forty Two probably pointed out she's as brittle as a glass doll and very lightly slapped anyone who disagreed. Or if not, Eighteen slapped for them, they can delegate like that. What were they going to do, bring Two and a baby into a warzone? Get a sitter?"

>Ah' meant if they're hiding again after the whole Sombra thing.

"Probably not."

>Yeah, it's probably alright.


>...Why do Ah' hear crying?

"Because something hates us."
You know what fixes that?

Sex. Lots and lots of sex.

...well being celibate clearly isn't fucking working!

>Brother! The gates of the world have opened to us, but peace must be maintained! We have found another target!

"Shall I bring out the blades?"

>No... now we shall wait. And then, when it's carcass rots... we pick it clean.





"...So we're going to rob a corpse?"

>That's generally the idea yes.

"Who designed this task force?"

>I think we're taking the bird thing too far.

"Is that why we have hyena colored legs-"

>We don't talk about that.
>Implying we don't love his pain

I have the answer for how to get Spike laid!
I know what you're thinking, but I don't think they're close enough for Chrysalis to want to give him a pity fuck.

Never, ever, EVER, look to the wingman for a pity fuck. If they have to do a PITY fuck, they're bad wingmen and you need new wingmen. The entire idea of a wingman is for them to help you sleep with OTHER individuals. If they have to resort to a pity one, A, they're bad at this, B, you don't deserve the pity fuck because they didn't want to do it in the first place. You can absolutely fuck the wingman, no question, and sometimes the best wingman is one you're fucking regularly because they know how to help you, but don't, DO NOT, NEVER, GO FOR A PITY FUCK

This message brought to you by the center against Wingman abuse.
Oh, don't you worry about Spike. Once they get home... things are going to happen.

Rarity has a question.
>We get to see Rarity break Spike's heart too

The pain.

It will be beautiful.

>Ya' know, everyone's headin' home now, this might be a good time for a road trip!


>Ah' just feel like the whole wrapup thing is givin' us plenty of time ta' get back to some adventuring.

"Somethings... off."

'Wow, Applejack, I too feel that is a good idea! I! Pinkie Pie! Who just so happened to hear your conversation right now, and at no earlier time!'

>Wow, Pinkie, you sure are smart, if you agree I must be on to something!

'You are, and it is smart!'


"What's your angles?"

'Right ones, because we are right!'

>The smart continues!

'And it grows!'

"Oh, I get it."

>The smart?

'She's got it! Because she's a smart cookie, and she can't-'

"You realize we don't have to share the train, right? We can just take Centitrain solo when we get done. They can ride the not-living train."

>...Ah' have reconsidered the road trip.

'It was a bad idea and I feel bad.'

"You realize we still have to deal with whatever those gopher brains back home did-"

The crazy just isn’t there
Dug little deeper, fool!
>Shining Armour





>You've been walking oddly, Rarity, you feeling alright?"

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking"

>Right, just had that sorta bow-legged that a lotta guards like to erm... "boast" about giving to...erm

"...You just rattled that train of thought off at the first chance you could could you?"

>Yeeeahhhh, coping habits for guardponies going through training, it never truly leaves you, sorry to bother.

"Mhmm, well for your information, no, I have not been ah, "engaged"... though I would appreciate it if the "invitations" were done with a bit more honest romance than... nervous showmanship and crazed rants on paper"

>You got propositions out the wazoo as well?

"You too?"

>Every now and then a crowd of maybe 2 to 20 mares and stallions show up to the castle balcony trying to ask me out on a date or more, we barely use that balcony outside of world saving necessity but they think I like to strut out there and give them my ... "heart's desire". What about you?

"Letters, photograph albums, coded messages in cloud shaping, and the occasional stalker. One time I was out on market with Pinkie Pie and some gelled-mane stallion had rolled out an entire song troupe to try and win me over. I had to endure 5 minutes of drippy sugary "singing" while I tried to wrestle Pinkie away from the back-up dancers and get her to Party-Cannon him out of sight.


"I almost get as much attention as Applejack, honestly. She's got the lion share of well-wishers, it's the novelty of her being the "first" of the "new princesses" I believe, that and some rumour about chaps"

>I wonder how that got around


>Well, you're not a married mare-

"Oh just rub it in why don't you"

>Fnar fnar, anyway I'm sure you'll find somepony more than good enough for you someday

"Thank you, Shining, and before you ask, no I have propositioned my friends"

>...Is that a common question?

"Some ponies believe that because I'm a seamstress and have to get close and personal with their hindquarters on the regular I'd end up falling head over hooves for them"


"Trust me, years of fitting outfits on their bodytypes has given me war stories for years, you will not believe how unco-operative they can be without them knowing. Cellulite vanishing and reappearing without warning, muscle tics that rip but all the wrong stresses on all the wrong seams, trotting gaits they come up with on a whim, stubborn patches of fur on hard to reach places somehow. It’s a war, Shining, a war I seldom win.”

>I uhh, wow, was not aware

“I try not to complain much~”

>You… You soldier on, then?




I put money down he understood none of that
Whiteys, they make the best pairs.
I like the odd friendship these two have.
>She never explained why she’s walking funny

Oh boy, this’ll be.. fun
It might be painful, but needed. Maybe he can finally have an upswing.
He really needs that upswing...
>no I have propositioned my friends"

So she DID?

>If you had friends like those, you’d at least ask too!
>"Thank you, Shining, and before you ask, no I have propositioned my friends"
"Thank you, Shining, and before you ask, no I have not propositioned my friends
Damn. I can't believe Rarity took it up the fucking ass.


>Oh, but when *I* do it, everyone just laughs it off and treats me fine despite my really bad history with it! I see how it is!... I don’t know where I was going with this.
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>Error: You cannot delete a post this old.
You fool.

You don’t know what you’ve unleashed.


Put the gun down man! No really, put it down, shooting your computer won’t accomplish anything. You need to go to this location…

"That looks like the last of them."

The land now seemed so very empty at the end of it all.

Where once had stood great armies, vast warriors, mighty machines of near incomparable size ready to face off against a mountainous being that put even them to shame, now lay barren and perfectly flat. Those who had lived here once before had made their way underground, now at ease in the thought they may keep their homes. Those who had fought to the last for their lives on this battlefield had followed their leaders and begun the journey home, ready to be hailed as victors. In all the vast landscape of a once great city, only a few souls remained.

Those who had fought down below. Some of whom had given so much. Some, had given everything.

"All except for us."

Now, they were ready to take back what they could of their lives. They could already see the distant glow of a certain glowing centipede, ready to bring it's last load off on a trip back to Canterlot.

Back towards home, at long, long last for the five Elements of Harmony, and the two princesses.

Their long battles had finally ended, and it was time to put all this behind them.

"Get loaded up, girls! We're leavin!"

They were all too eager to answer her command.

"Finally, and good riddance."

"Now don't say it like that, we do have to remember we'll return to this place some day after all! Harmony City won't open itself."

"You guys can handle that, thiiiink I'll find a nice cloud to nap on and just never wake up."

"But Dashie, how will you get to the Welcome Party I'll throw for it?"

"Thou may discuss this later, we have much to do back home! First and foremost, our rest! Come, mighty being of transport, we shall give thee a glowing tip should the trip be short!"

"Stop trying to bribe our ride, she might get mad."

"That's a female!?"

"That right there is how we end up walking home. Shush."

"Oh, very well sister, but only because thou clearly needs the rest more than me."

"You have no idea."


"Well it's not going to load itself, even though it could, because she's a living being with appendages! ALLLL ABOARD!"

The giant creature screed, doing her best to mimic the call of a steam engine to hurry them along. Though she did not quite manage the comparison, they appreciated the authenticity all the same.

"Applejack, hurry up!"

In all their rush to get home, they still would always notice if one of them was lagging behind. Which, quite plainly, the orange princess was, still a fair distance back from those running forwards.

"Ah'm comin' Ah'm comin', just gotta grab somethin' really quick..."

She seemed to sink into the very earth itself, just out of all of their vision. It took a fair moment before they all realized that she had merely gone down into one of the multitude of entrances to lead into the catacombs below.

"Ya'll comin' or what?"

The question would have seemed odd to the others, if they could have heard it at least. Instead her curt tone was heard by only one set of ears.

"Just waiting for the other leaders to leave. Didn't want to reveal anything too shocking to them... in case we need it."

Her set of ears, though not on her own body.

"Ya'll took yer' time gettin' up here."

"Ah' got lost."

The mirror image of the mare trotted out from the dark. Slowly, but surely, until she reached into the light.

"We both know ya' could just come straight up through the earth if you wanted to."

"Didn't say Ah' got lost in that maze."

Tired, weary eyes looked over her doppleganger, who had only a sigh to give to the sharp glance.

"Ah'm supposin' you want some kinda praise for doing what me and the others couldn't."

"Reckon' savin' the world was good enough."

"Good, then."

She nearly brushed past the other who shared her body. Nearly.


"...Supposin' you deserve some praise for tryin' to help save mah' world, is all."

"Ah' reckon' that just helping out this world was good enough."

"Good, then."

She let her go.


"...Shining promised me if this thing is in my world, then-"

"Ah' know, and the same goes for me. We both know Ah' wouldn't sit idly by and wait for it."

"Reckon' not."

They could have easily walked out now. Nothing stopped them, nothing stood in their way.

Yet both took in a moment as one, standing side by side as they were, facing in different directions.

"This world is changing."

"It's changed a dang lot since Ah' got here a short time ago."

"Sure did."

"Think it'll finally start changing for the better, at last?"

A pause, just long enough for the words to settle, and the princess turned around.


She crested the lip of the entrance, and looked upon those who were sitting there, patiently waiting for her, unwilling to leave her behind.

"Ah' think things... are finally gonna start getting better."

"...good. Now, iffin' Ah' remember this right... ahem...LAST ONE THERE IS A ROTTEN APPLE!"

The normally serious, stone cold version of herself suddenly shot forwards, so fast her front legs were nearly overtaken by her rear ones. For a single shocked moment, the princess blinked in abject shock.


A second later, and she shot off after her mirror image. There was hooting and hollering from those on the train-creature, cheering on their friend and begging her to overtake the mare with the slight lead.


She couldn't quite manage before the other mare leapt with the others, and winked with a winning smile at where she thought the pony would be.

"Ah' totally... huh?"

Or so she thought.



The brief question was answered quickly when they all looked to the front of the Centitrain, where a certain orange mare sat on her head.

"Ah' call front seat."

"Ya' friggen Cheater-"


The beast reared back, and let out a screech.

"Girl... LET'S GO HOME!"

With a crack of lightning, a burst of speed and a cheer from those on board, they headed straight back home.

At long, long, long last, they could see the town once known as Hoofington become small in the distance.

It was time to finally go home and begin their lives again.


>Oh, shoot, I forgot one of my eyelashes. Can we go back really quick-


>Well you don't have to be rude about it.
>AUJ acting a little cheery

Holy shit
>New Harmony Citizens, formally known as Hoofingtonians










>Didn't we build this place? How do we not know how to fix this?

>...THat is a VERRY good question...
>Ok so where did we keep all the tools?

>The multiple warehouses


>...Ok maybe we have spares in one of these rooms.

>The ones that haven't been caved in or flooded or gassed?

>...This sounded a lot more feasible back when we were on the surface
>Wait! We have power mechs! A lot of those! We'll just hop into one and-HOW ARE THEY ALL MELTED!? WHO FUCKING MELTED THEM!? THEY'RE SUPER ARMOR HOW ARE THEY MELTED!?






'...Blame Celestia?'


'Problem solved.

"Don't blame me! Y'all jess' have t' deal with the fact that no-one wants to stick their elbows into writin' a proper story bout y'all, best just accept your position as forgettable window dressin!"

>Meh, I'm gonna take a nap really quick, get some shuteye before I get home.

"Is that smart?"

>Pleaaaseee, what's the worst that could happen?



"Your fault, we tried to wake you and ask if you wanted a burrito."


"Well then don't sleep so long, come on."
>We can finally do stuff again!

Sounds so weird to say.
It’s been a looooooong time.

>...is it fuckin' summer?


>How did this happen

>Oh shoot, I forgot to feed Tank before I left.

"It's been like a day, Dash. He'll be fine."

>Meh, you're right...


She opens the door to her house and is greeted by the sight of a turtle skeleton, clinging desperately to a dented but unopened can of spinach.

>OH MY GOD!... DID I LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON!? My power bill is going through the roof!
"Gummy? I'm hooome!"


"GASP!... did you do something with your hair? It looks nice!"
Did we get unlock?
Leeet's see.

>Rarity thinks she forgot something and needs to go back.
>Dash slept too looooohohoonnng!
>Flurry don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
>Applejack wonders if this is a good time for a road trip.
>the Crusaders are out of time!
> And lots of leaving fanservice!

>Shining Armor wonders if Cadence made dinner.
>Chrysalis missed something


"Soooo is this a no on dinner?"


"It's just, I'm really, really hungry. You have no idea."


"Like, seriously, I could eat a horse. Heh heh. Get it?"


"This is just... the worst thing to come home too."


"I think we should see other ponies."

>Sooooo, what's going on with Cadence? I feel like I missed this whole... thing. Like I get Shining is getting the lowdown, but you DO know I've been fighting God for like thirty threads, and fuck I just cannot with this shit anymore. What happened? Something about sexy outfits?

"Cadence shoved us in these and then Forty Two brain controlled her."

>...for fucks sake can we just skip this?

"Not an option."

>It's just been a long long looooong fight. You don't understand I just want to go hit ineffectually on Shiny in the hopes he'll fuck me some day.

"Well sorry, we're doing this."

>...such a load of bullshit...

"If it makes you feel better, pretty sure Forty Two is getting in on the sex thing eventually."

>It does not.

"Well then fuck you."

File: Od0JNsrl.png (28 KB, 984x120)
28 KB
>This leads to a divorce from Shining
>He is just tired of this bullshit
>Tired of being a prince
>Tired of being in charge
>Tired of fighting for the world
>And Applejack?

This is how we get the Apple End.

>Applejack, I'm tired of this shit.


>Want to go live a homely life down on the farm instead of putting up with everyone's bullshit?

"DO AH'!?"

>We're going to raise a normal family with love and care and have lots of babymaking sex.

"AH' WANT ALL OF THIS! ALL OF IIIIIT!... Includin' the sex."






"In hindsight, someone taking over the world without us there is... just predictable. Really should'a seen this comin'."

>Doesn't matter had sex.

>Ya'll realize you actually have to write time passing again, right?

"""""""OH SHIT""""""""

>You know actually thinking on it, I probably should like... get you to therapy.

"Orrrrr you could stop all the crazy stuff driving me insane?"




>That came out of you.
Annnnd dis is bump.

Our life begins now.


>Next time! Cadence needs to come clean, but it feels dirty! Dash left the water running! Twilight checks in and checks out! Fluttershy did not need to know that. Celestia takes a long walk off a short balcony! Spike gets the talk and it is not what he expected. Run Crusaders RUN! All this and more next time on thread 246:It begins the ending of the beginning!...OH! And plenty of Homey fanservice!
NEWWW THERAD >>32411791

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