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Previous Thread: >>32492965

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>>
Celestia is best princess
>>
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>>32505144
First for best pony
>>
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how about we don't have this thread deleted, alright?
>>
Why did the last thread get fucked?
>>
>>32505155
how about i go fuck your mom?
>>
>>32505144
>pic
Now I have a need. A need for Mommysalis greens.
>>
>>32505166
Hell if I know

>>32505167
I would be generally against that and also question your taste
>>
>>32505166
Because its OP is a fag?
>>
>>32505170
not exactly what you're looking for but pretty close
https://pastebin.com/XvD076Gt
>>
>>32505184
It will do. Thank you, friend.
>>
I'm going to take a shower now, and hope that this thread will still be here when I get back
also, uhh
>something something pony baths are weird
>something something Anon complains about it
>something something "nice mares" volunteer to try and help him figure it out
>something something he accepts, because >ponies
>something something massive spaghetti containment breach
>something something RGRE
>>
This is a horse

To the untrained eye, you'd think that this was a hyoo-man thot, but you'd be very wrong.

You can tell that this horse an a unicorn by her tight, round rump and her large teats, as unicorns are known for having the largest teats out of the three races. You can also tell because, like all of her kind, she's a monogamists, as well as a unicorn's playful superiority.

And like all unicorns, this horse can and very much will mate for life. She also has a taste for fine wines, titfucking, and thigh jobs. Behind closed doors she's also a professional nuzzler, hand holder, and someone that knows how to fit herself perfectly against you to make sleeping together as comfortable as possible.

She also has a pretty sweet apartment. And she'll wear all of that lingerie around the house because she knows you like it a lot. Did I also mention the handholding and the thigh fucking? What about the oral fixation and the completely controlled gag reflex?

Because she has that. This cute little horse.
>>
>>32505249
that's a Barbie tho
>>
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>>32505264
I'm tired of you. Don't talk shit about my wife.
Go back to jerking off for to that old white hag you call princess.
>>
>>32505249
>>32505264
well, barbie or not, she's a slightly better horseimitator than the one from the last thread
calling people sluts isn't exactly the best ice-breaker in the world, believe it or not
>>
>>32505249
Thats a nice post and all that, but I can see a single problem.
You say that this is a horse, and yet I can not see any hooves.
What gives?
Are you trying to cheat me?
>>
>>32505273
Your wife sucked Flash's cock while Twi tickled his balls.
>>
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>>32505249
And once again here is my reply
>>
>>32505293
That's a picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm, right? Not the best waifu, but not terrible.
>>
>>32505039
>What becomes alarming is when Anonymous Heart begins to crave protein, not just the typical seafood that pegasi crave.
>Twilight and Celestia are the first ones to realize that his magic, though meager in comparison to Flurry's, is literally developing at a faster pace than his body can handle.
>Hence his body trying to gain nutrients to quickly grow to compensate.
>Unfortunately, the strain is horrific, and his health is beginning to decline.
>>
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>>32505292
>Twi tickling Flash's balls
Why is this bad?
Did you forget he is /ourguy/ now?
>>
>>32505307
>Did you forget he is /ourguy/ now?
How did this happen?
>>
>>32505304
Does he have to wear a full magic-nullifying hornsheath now?
Is it an equivalent of those old-time full head teeth braces?
>>
>>32505315
Did you completely miss the "punished Flash, a man denied his waifu" memes?
>>
>>32505323
That doesn't make him /ourguy/
>>
>>32505323
yes
>>
>>32505323
I must have.
>>
>>32505323
must have been some shitty memes if I dont remember them
>>
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>>32505340
>>
>>32505291
I gotchu senpai
>>
>>32505323
Walk me through it, or point me in the direction I need to go to see what you're talking about.
>>
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>>32505201
ayy, we're still here
how about that
>>
>>32505358
>pic
So does she still have a horsepussy?
>>
>>32505358
More like Whorgans
>>
>>32505381
You tell me? https://derpibooru.org/1222166
>>
You know, there was a story I read a long time ago that had a trace of RGRE. More transformation too, but the premise was fun.

>Anon gets transported to Equestria, but turned into a colt.
>Does not magically know how to use his body, however, as well as not knowing the language.
>This leads ponies to suspect some horrible shit in this little colts past.
>Does he not know how to walk becuase he's never had enough space to learn?
>Does he not speak because no pony has talked to him?
>When he sees himself in a mirror, he acts like it's the first time he has ever done so.
>Some one has obviously locked this colt away in a small box somewhere and kept him isolated his entire life.
>Determination abound to rehabilitated this little boy.
>Anon is just confused and stressed by all of this.

Anyone read that before?
>>
>>32504634
>You are Anonymous
>You are currently walking/stumbling through the castle looking for mom or dad
>You feel like you're burning up
>You see Crystal walking down the hall you are currently in, on her way to the library
"C-crystal!"
>You collapse and curl up
>It feels like you're being ripped apart
>She runs over to you
>"Anon what's wrong?"
>You have no clue
"I d-dont know!"
>She looks you in the eyes with a serious expression before casting a spell on you
>You black out

>You are Chrysalis
>Anonymous' magic is growing too fast for his body
>You can save him from being cooked alive by his magic
>You knocked him out with a spell and put him on your back and teleport to the hive
>You drop your disguise and find a stone slab to lay him down on
>You need to drain his love and by extension his magic
>>
>>32505421
No, but I'd like to. It sounds neat.
>>
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>>32505430
>>You need to drain his love and by extension his magic
l-lewd
>>
>>32505430
Oh, now that's a twist. What will this turn into, Chrysalis legit falling in love with him after said 'draining', eh?
>>
This is also a horse. A teaching, very lewd horse that is very much against condoms.
>>
>>32505381
Obviously.
>>
>>32505421
I'd read it.

>>32505430
>"I have to suck your dick, Anon!"
"Wh-"
>"It's the only way!"
>>
>>32505463
>Christmas cake
>>
>>32505463
>ywn have a teacher who wants to /ss/
>ywn make her dreams come true
>ywn make the night last forever
>>
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>>32505463
>that is very much against condoms
True in any form. Every day with Celestia is a "try for foals" day.
>>
>>32505430
>>32505460

Well, his feelings for her are genuine, and noody's ever had genuine feelings for Chrysalis for who she is, so who knows?
>>
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>>32505513
The best kind of cake
>>
Do you guys think that Luna would be rgres' equivalent to Sigmund Freud? I'm thinking of this for some keks in the future
>>
>>32505676
>Luna thinks that most psychological issues boil down to wanting to have sex with their fathers
>Thinks ponies have hoof fetishes because the frogs and overall imagery superficially resembles horsepuss
>Pretty sure the man thought foot fetishes existed because feet or toes or the overall shape of feet look like penis, or something like that.
>Always stares pointedly at Anon when he eats his carrot-dog with the long slit down the middle of it (to let out steam, of course)
>Has a habit of asking, "And how does that make you feel?"
>Tries to convince Cadence that the best thing to promote Anon's healthy psychological growth is for Luna to have sex with him
>>
>>32505676
What do you mean? I don't know much regarding the details of Sigmund. He had a nice beard, he built everything based on parent+offspring sexual attraction, and that a lot of his theories were discarded without a whole lot of reasoning behind it.
>>
>>32505676
>Do you guys think that Luna would be rgres' equivalent to Sigmund Freud? I'm thinking of this for some keks in the future

Complete with being mostly wrong about psychology?
>>
>>32505676
>Luna constantly diagnoses ponies with nonsensical (and usually sexual) explanations for their problems

"So tell me, Anonymous, what did you feel when you had the nightmare in which you were eaten by a manticore?"
>"Uh...scared, I guess?"
"Scared and aroused?"
>"What? No?"
"Just aroused then. I see."
>"But that's-"
"Clearly, your issues stem from inadequate sexual release, and the presence of a powerful predator indicates an subconscious, unfulfilled fixation on powerful mates. Note that in your dream you were eaten, or more precisely, "devoured" and "consumed" by a much larger and stronger female."
>"...Is this some kind of-"
"I'm writing you a prescription, Anonymous. I insist that you follow the instructions provided."
>"This note just has directions to your bedroom."
"And my work schedule. I do hope to see you soon, my sweet young thing."
>>
>>32505293
Hey that's cool, how'd you get the dress to just float like that?
>>
>>32505712
kek
>>
>>32505421
This is a common thing on FimFic, but (annoyingly enough) gender-bending is frequently included, too.

Sometimes the SI/character becomes a special snowflake alicorn colt.

The best ones of the above sub-genre is when one of the alicorns, typically Luna, go motherly on him, causing hijinks.
>>
>>32505712
top kek, Anon
>>
>>32505513
>>32505647
Now I want this except with Celestia and Luna.
Or maybe Harshwhinny and Peachbttom
>>
>>32505727
>Peachbottom
God I haven't heard that name in years
>>
>>32505703
>>Tries to convince Cadence that the best thing to promote Anon's healthy psychological growth is for Luna to have sex with him
>is for Luna to have sex with him
shit man, looks like a thousand years wasn't quite enough
speaking in third person is always the first sign
>>
>>32505722
>The best ones of the above sub-genre is when one of the alicorns, typically Luna, go motherly on him, causing hijinks.
those can be very cute, but they also have a disturbing tendency to magical alterations to the guy's mind to make him recognize his new "mother," either from the body itself, or the "mother" in question
always freaked me out, that
>>
>>32505728
It's a pretty unfortunate name, though. It doesn't imply a flattering figure.

I actually used to know a guy who's last name was Sidebottom. I hope he went into a field of work where he gets to make jokes about that.
>>
>>32505676
>Do you guys think that Luna would be rgres' equivalent to Sigmund Freud?

Do you mean her being an advocate of a certain drug/substance, touting it as a miracle cure and failing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigmund_Freud#Cocaine); or being a therapist who psychoanalyzes others?
>>
>>32505732
Seen a few of those, too.
>>
I really wanna see Archer in Equestria. Jesus, what a shit fest that would be.
>>
I want to see ponies reactions to Anonymous Heart thinking that hoof-holding is lewd.
>>
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>>32505782
I guess it could be interesting. He'd finally see the kind of world he wanted to create, and he could probably have a few good discussions about magical theory and show off a few things.

Hell, he might even be able to potentially make a new set of the elements of harmony. Just in case, you know?
>>
>>32505840
Wrong Archer.
>>
>>32505741
>openly flirts with a married monogomous prince
>in his own fucking empire
>in front of his sister
She's got a pair of titanium teats, or the tightest cunt in all of Equestria to try that.
The absolute Trixie.
>>
>>32505868
The absolute madmare.
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>>32505849
?
But she's been in the show for years.
>>
>>32505883
This Archer
>>
>>32505892
Oops
>>
>>32505892
Yep, she's best Archer.
>>
>>32505849
Right Archer.

>>32505840
>Archer gets summoned with such force that he's ripped right out of the Throne of Heros and across space and time.
>Appears in front of a shocked winged unicorn in a flash of prana so dense he can taste it. Next to the unicorn is a dusty book.
>Once he gets over his shock at seeing a real phantasmal beast, he asks what is going on.
>Learns he was summoned by an "alicorn" giving off godlike levels of magic energy just because she wanted to try a spell she read about.
>Archer has lived multiple human lifetimes and served many masters, but this is by far the strangest one.
>And it'll probably be his longest one, considering his current master is ageless.
>At least no one thinks his hobbies of cooking and mundane chores are strange thanks to RGR.
>>
>>32505430
>You are Chrysalis
>It's time to drain Anonymous' love
>You open your mouth and start breathing in, causing a green mist to be pulled from the sleeping Anonymous
>There's alot of love you can "taste"
>Love for his family, for...ugh crab meat, a new love for cake, and a slight amount of puppydog love for...you?
>You almost stop draining from surprise
>You look deeper into that love
>It's not for the ponysonna that you disguise as
>It's truely for you
>Nothing but a mere crush or admiration for you but it's still there
>How could he know that you weren't a pony?
>Why didn't he rat you out the first chance he got?
>Why?
>>
I need to see a story about the Lone Wanderer.
>>
>>32506008
Check fimfic, there's several stories about the Lone Wanderer.

They're all long dead though.
>>
>>32506031
That sounds like something glados would say
>"You can try talking to our resident organic scientist for any questions you may have. They're dead."
>>
>Be Anon
>You had always had a fleeting interest in magic tricks
>And you don't mean just card tricks
>Your interest was caught by tricks like walking on broken glass or eating fire
>Though it was little more than a hobby for you back in your world you found yourself working as a traveling magician here
>Apparently your hands allowed you to do tricks that ponies couldn't, and you're fascination with learning magic tricks back home led you to perform more 'dangerous' stunts than ponies were used to
>Honestly you liked it
>Your partner in crime was rather easy to get along with
>She didn't treat you like most other mares, she saw you as a fellow artist of the trade and an equal
>Plus getting to travel all over Equestria was pretty fun too
>The only annoying part was all the mares trying to 'protect' you whenever you got to a city or town
>>
>>32505901
I forgot Shiro was a massive Faggot before he manned up.
>>
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>>32506289
Cooking was/is one of his pleasures. Kiritsugu couldn't cook, so Shirou doing it himself was the best way to get good food.

The "doing random chores for people" is to go with his desire to be a "hero". Remember that that term means something more like someone who selflessly lives a life of service for others to make things better, with no thought of repayment. No-one had to bully him into doing their chores for them. He'd take them on happily.

He was still /fit/, and already had a good amount of martial / magical training. As much as he could have without qualified instruction to rely on, at least. Remember that he impressed Lancer for a second when he showed up to kill Shirou in his home later that night.
>>
Playing catch up right now
There is a concept that I always enjoyed, I'm not exactly sure where it originated

>Twilight for her whole life thought celestia was the strongest pony in the world
>I mean how could she not, she could feel her power
>Most ponies just saw celestia and either bowed out of respect or because they knew what she could do
>Most were unable to actually feel what she could do
>Then ones who could were small, but she decided to take them in to help mold them to a responsible adult
>Most are found during childhood, nothing special they just go a bit out of control
>Some are found because they tremble before her when they first meet.
>Some slip through the cracks like glimmer
>ponies to celestia see an immense power
>but celestia to most ponies, its like there are some ants on the ground, do you notice when the ants are 1mm bit and there are a few 2mm bit ones? or do you just see ants?
>When twilight was a filly, she felt celestia, is scared and inspired her at the same time
>when twilight ascended she felt it...
>She asked her teacher who was that, but celestia had no idea

>Be anon
>You are a failure in school
>You have to wonder how the hell any pony is able to levitate things when one wrong move would rip you apart

Basicly, to feel someone's power level, you have to be close to them, If there are any artists out there, it would be like a normal person looking at a painting, sure they may like it because it's aesthetically pleasing, but an artist who is far enough along likes it for so much more.

Basicly, anon has so much magic it is effectively invisible to everyone around him, and because he is so far ahead, he cant gauge he is anything special
>>
>"Celestia, we need luna to be part of the heard"
>Why would you let your sister in your herd
"Anon, why would you want that?"
>"Because we all get along, she is a royal blue color that I like, and she is going to make her butthole taste like blueberries though magic"
>You think it was at the butthole blueberries you were taken aback by
>Your not sure how to respond to that
"I can make my butthole taste like pancakes"
>ZIGGA DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT?
>THAT'S HOW YOU DECIDED TO RESPOND?
>"Fuck yea"
>Anon looks over to raven
>"Can you make her more juice taste like maple syrup?"
>Why, WHY Would he want that?
"I see no reason I cant"
>Raven is just looking at the two of you like she just cant even this conversation, just literally cant even
>You want to join her but anon runs out the door
>"LUNA WE NEED TO MAKE THE PONUTS KISS, GEt in here"
>And he starts to fade away as the door shuts
>You let out a sigh
>This is going to be the weirdest century of your life, just just feel it.
>>
>>32482637

"So..."
>you look out at them
"We broght you here today to save my life, any questions"
>All hoves go up
"Yes, celestia"
>"You only needed 1 powerful unicorn, why did you call us all?"
"Glad you asked, the more the better"
>She seems to accept that
"Yes luna"
>"Why is SHE here?"
>You look towards chrysalis
"Fucking unf, thats why"
>She looks at luna smug
"Twilight"
>"Ok, I get glimmer, but why pinkie and especially trixie"
>"Yea, why AM I here?"
>Shockingly when a life is on the line, trixie drops the 'great and powerful' act
"For one, its possible pinkie is more powerful then all of you, and for two trixie has a massive ego and it will piss so many ponies off that she got invited in"
>You look at trixie
"You also have a color scheme I like, a tsundere attitude that I think will be fun to pull out, and I saw what you and glimmer do"
>They both go red
>you start stripping
"So without further adieu, I have 2 hands, a face, and a penis, if I blow inside don't sit on my face"
>Its at this moment that everyone buy buggums realizes what anon had in mind
>now, the question is, who sits on formerly useless first and forgos getting eaten out.
>>
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>>32506490
>Anon is a magical god with zero control and completely retarded.
>>32506559
>Royal herd:Breakfast edition.
>>32506656
>Orgy to save anons life.

Cant see the RGRE and your english needs work.
>>
>>32506687
anons a colt with magical powers, he cant feel others so he has no comparison, all he knows is he is not able to control it thinking others can, in comes twilight

a royal herd with anon in it

and anon cant live long, so he gets the most powerful for the most part mares together for an orgy to save his life

for the most part rgre never comes through in single posts unless you lump something like sugar dick into it.
>>
>>32506490
Its an interesting idea, especially for the part where the character discovers and develops their powers and abilities, but the meat of any interesting story is going to come down to the conflict that involves Anonymous and his newfound power. That's always the trickiest part.
>>
>>32506716
I see any of these being one shots or window dressing to a story, pretty much all told from an outside anon perspective with only going to anon when it's necessary or when anon

>You can feel it, the world is going to end
>Anon is channeling to much power though him
>This is going to be ground zero

>Be anon
>You learned you can assemble parts together and force them to fuse through magic
>you decided you had to make it
>A toilet with indoor plumbing and a bidet

>You are twilight
>You have said your goodbyed in your heart
>Anon is now so bright your shadow will be etched into the wall if a wall remains
and just as fast as it started, it stops
>"Awsome, I made it"
>You open your eyes
>There is something ahead
>You get closer
>"Lets see here"
>There seems to be a bowl of some sort
>Just as you were looking in side
"AHHHH"
>Something hits your eye
>You can feel it
>its wet
>"HOORAY IT WORK"
>>
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>>32506656
meh, cuddling was better imo
>>
>>32506448
>Shiro dies.
>Instead of being brought before Alaya to get tricked into being a counter guardian, he is instead reincarnated into RGRE as a unicorn colt.
>It's a bittersweet feeling, leaving behind his ragtag 'family' in Fuyuki formed from hardship to a gentle and loving life with a blood related family.
>He keeps his memories and his basic spells like reenforcement and tracing.
>But most importantly, he keeps his Ultimate Blade Works.
>His family is naturally worried about his self sacrifice issues and his fascination with sharp objects.
>>
>>32506785
>"ANON, You only need to be in proximity to us, you don't need to... This!"
>She hoofs at you
>chrysalis has decided to lay on top of you ponut on nose, clit in mouth Tentacle making out with you... if you can call it that with her beautiful eyes on the prize
>once this happened, trixie snapped out of it and sat on your hand
>Luna scrambled to the other hand
>You break away from christalis just enough to tell her
"Im going to make the world a better place, one day at a time"
>You give a lick to her clit
"She cant be left alone to her own devices, you don't like putting me in potential danger, and at times all of you are gone for long enough I need a fix"
>a short suck gets a moan form buggums
>You wiggle your toes
"Join us in advanced friend ship"
>The sound of trixie slushing is heard by all
>She falls back while starlight takes her sport in reverse
>she goes to town on a still cumming tixie
"We can cuddle when we can no longer move"
>celestia takes this opportunity to lick your feet, causing a giggle
>once wet, she gets up and lowers herself down
>Twilight is horrifed
>"My faithful student... when in prome"
>And with that you start moving your foot getting a moan from her

>Be twilight
>Its been hours
>You are currently the little spoon
>Chrysalis is the big spoon on anon
>Celestia is facing you with a wing over top
>luna decided to flop down on top
>You cant see where the others are
>You are getting the cuddles you wanted
>More cuddles then you thought possible
>You feel a prodding on your ponut
>Anon is still asleep
>You are the most conflicted mare in the world at this moment.
>>
>>32505782
You mean this Archer?
>>
>>32506811
>>You feel a prodding on your ponut
>>Anon is still asleep
>>You are the most conflicted mare in the world at this moment.
Give in, Book horse.
It's not lesbian as long as the ovaries don't touch.
>>
>>32506885
> Touching ovaries
Physiologically, the phrase should be "It's not lesbian if the teats don't touch."
>>
>>32506929
> TheJokeYourHead.jpg
>>
>>32506975
> joke
Keep trying, Anon. You'll be funny one day.
>>
>>32491627

>an empty castle where NOPONY can hear us
"Challange accepted sunbutt"
>>
>>32506730
What? Was Anon playing in the toilet or something?
>>
>>32506815
Yes
>>
>>32507080
he was creating a pony version of a modern toilet, the magic he used was so immense it caused twilight to have a 'this is how I die' moment and when he tested out the clean your asshole function, it shot her in the eye
>>
>Mister Rogers in Equestria
>>
>>32507085
>Clean your asshole function
Is this some weird British thing or was Anon whipping his asshole super hard? Because if a toilet starts cleaning my ass for me I'm going to have to question how lazy people are they needed that to be made.
>>
>>32505934
>You are Anonymous
>You just woke up feeling like shit
>At least you aren't being cooked alive
>You look around and see you're in your room
>Weird
>Time to get ready for the day
>You try to use telekinesis on objects in your room
>It doesn't cast
>What
>You try again
>Nothing
>You go to a nearby mirror
>There is a metal sheath covering your horn
"What is this?!"
>The guard outside your room looks in and sees you panicking
>She walks up to you
>"My prince, your parents wish to speak with you."
>You look at her and just nod
>The guard escorts you to your parents study
>The moment the door opens dad shoots out and latches on to you
>"ANON ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU FEEL FEVERISH?! ARE YOU HUNGRY, TIRED "
>And he's in full panic mode
>... He's still asking questions
>You poke his neck
"Dad I feel fine."
>Mom walks over and Pat's dad on the back
>"So, how do you feel Anonymous?"
"I feel like a pillar fell on me. So what's with the horn thing on me?"
>"Well, you need to wear that so your magic doesn't grow too fast. It stops you from generating magic, sorry sweetie but you'll need to wear that until your body grows"
"Aaaww! But why doesn't Flurry need one?"
>"Her body was born with alot of magic so her body is used to the strain, also she is larger than you."
>Oh hell no
>Your mom didn't just call you a manlette
>Er...horselette but still!
>Sure Flurry is five inches taller than you but that doesn't matter!
>How you barely grow is a mystery
>You eat more than a morbidly obese American and nothing changes
>What the fuck biology?
>>
>>32507098
it shoots water at your asshole so you don't have to use wet wipes or dig fingers into the hole to clean the shit out so you stop seeing brown on the dry toilet paper
>>
>>32507106
Is it REALLY that hard to wipe your own ass? Like, I don't even use wet wipes, I just use some fucking toilet paper, but for fucks sake you need a high powered toilet hose to spray your anus clean like some sort of disgusting elephant.
>>
>>32507123
every other aspect of life, you spray liquid on the area that's dirty to clean it, you don't shower with a dry cloth, you don't wash mud off your car by wiping it with paper towel, why is your asshole any different?

Then for me, I can wipe my ass till Its raw and bleeding and still fucking see brown streaks, so it's either get a wet wipe and shove some fingers inside to clean it, or spray it with water.

I think its largely an american thing to clean it dry, something I honestly hate this country for as there are no good standard ways to implement this in a toilet without spending real money.
>>
>>32507143
It's call a shower you disgusting burger! You don't need a fucking specialized ass cleaner to get yourself clean, just fucking shower once a day like any other normal person and thoroughly clean yourself! Have you not cleaned your cock because you don't have a specialized cock cleaner?
>>
>>32507160
so you shower every time you take a shit?
>>
>>32507167
do you shit more than once a day?
>>
>>32507098
think its japanese, though I may be wrong
>>
>>32507171
how can you not?
>>
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>>32506811
>>
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>>32507231
Tacklehugthecutemare.execute
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>>32507201
I like how this mare thinks
>>
>>32507198
>eat fiber
>don't be a fatass
>don't eat tai chili food
Boom. 1 shit a day
>>
>>32507318
eat 3 meals a day, about 5 hours apart
don't be constipated
3+ shits a day
>>
>>32507328
I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.
It could also explain your asshole problems. They usually don't work a 12 hour shift.
>>
>>32507167
Yes.
>>
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>this thread
>the literal shitpoosting

I like it!
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>>32506695
Jesus fuck, come back when a keyboard isn't so mystifying to you.
>>
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>>32507269
Pinkie gets first dibs
>>
>>32507160
I shower to wash my hair and soap up my body, not to bend over and shove a hand up my keister. Cleaning my asshole is a job that I do with toilet paper, like an adult, at the time of shitting.
>>
>>32507386
>doesn't clean entire body while showering
>adult
Bet you don't wash out your belly button either you repugnant bastard.
>>
>Anon ends up in Equestria
>Everypony treats him like a stallion
>That means like he's glass
>Except for Twilight
>She grew up with a stallion who eventually became captain of the guard
>She knows that not all stallions are prissy
>>
>>32507386
would you wash your waifu's butt?
>>
>>32507403
Given the highly efficient workings of pony assholes that probably wouldn't be necessary
>>
>>32507409
>wouldn't be necessary
look at this fag and laugh
>>
>>32507421
>He doesn't know about the marvelous self-cleaning horse butts
>>
> All those Americans admitting they only "dry-wash" their asses.
Ewww.
I mean, it's an improvement over Indians but ...
>>
Can we please have the comfy greens back now? This literal shitposting is getting out of hand.
>>
>>32507430
Don't give me that. Bidets lack the high pressure necessary to provide the thorough, deep cleaning I require. It would leave me with an itchy butthole all day.
You may think that a little water fountain drizzle is enough, but I have higher standards.
>>
>>32507437
Could be worse. Could be indians going "literally what is wrong with shitting in the street and wiping my asshole with my bear hand?"

>ywn give your waifu a bath
>>
Worst. Thread. Ever.
>>
>>32507443
a better middle ground would be teenaged mares bragging about all the anal they've had with their sixteen coltfriends, while secretly not even knowing what lube is yet
>>
>>32507449
oh my sweet summer child, you probably weren't even here for the birth of the bandit meme, were you?
>>
What would be RGRE equivalent of shitposting?
Piss talking?
Or shitposting would bee universal?
>>
>>32507460
Not that anon, but that was at least meme worthy and not literally shit. Like this thread as of now. First we get shitposting about schools and education, now we get shitposting about literally shit, summer really is in full swing, goddamit.
>>
>>32507450
>Rainbow sits in the tree outside your window with that sign as she chirps and bobs her head like an owl.
>>
>>32507482
Shitposting is universal. It transcends time and cultures.
>>
>>32507460
>The bandit meme is brought up as a baseline for bad threads
Friendo, you clearly do not remember the thread from late 2015 to early 2017. It was the most toxic thread, jam-packed with literal actual autistic individuals you had ever seen. This thread is tame as a declawed and de-toothed kitten compared to those days. Iveseensomeshit.thousandyardstare
>>
>>32507492
Perfect.
>>
>>32507508
Yeah, those were the days were autists literally chased off writefags through nonspecific REEEEEE'ing and thought they were helping the thread be better. Fuck those days, what we have is a walk in the park.
>>
>>32507544
I know, right? That shit was awful. I really like what the thread is like these days, compared to what it used to be. Ideas flourish and the environment is much more welcoming than it used to be. Congrats to everyone who contributed to making the thread a better place.
>>
>>32505430
pastebin?
>>
>>32507601
Don't got one, sorry
>>
>>32507604
You should make one. Your story is worthy of it.
>>
>>32507604
What >>32507617 said. Is a fun and enjoyable story, you should really bin it.
>>
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>>32507445
>Bear hand
Just try it, motherfucker.>>32507449
>>
>>32507395
Another "everyone but waifu treats Anon like glass" prompt. Please, do something original. Introduce conflict. Make Anon less generic. Something.
>>
>>32507690
>Less glassy
>More silicon
>>
>>32507690
How about "Anon's waifu treats him like glass, but everyone else doesn't?" And maybe Anon has a peculiar knack for getting into improbable, dangerous situations.
>>
>>32505376
>constellation freckles
fuck, I never knew how much I needed this
>>
>>32507725
That you need freckles or you need constellations?
>>
>>32507722
>anon is that baby that wandered into construction sites all grown up
>>
>>32507762
Anon suffers from "Kidnapped Prince" syndrome. No matter what he does to improve himself, he's always the one kidnapped by the villain du jour.
>>
>>32507853
>Be Anon
>You work out three times a week
>You eat well
>You learned all sorts of things to defend yourself against magic
>YOU'RE READY WALK TO THE BAKERY WITHOUT BEING KIDNAPPED
>AGAIN
>"Ah-hah! A lone defenseless colt!"
>Not today, bitch!
>You smugly pat the crystals you have on your belt; those'll absorb any magic cast within 3 feet of you for about 45 seconds
>More than enough time to get out or to whip out your custom-made magic wand.
>It's a bit faggy, with a giant pink cartoon star on the tip, but you'll be damned if unicorns fucking HATE it when you wave that thing at them.
>...now where is she?
>"Up here, stupid!"
>Up from above, a sinister-looking pegasus grins down at you, stare-raping your bare, muscled chest.
>"My, my, aren't YOU just a tall drink of water?"
>She flaps down, not reacting at all when you wave your wand at her.
>Before you can react, she rockets forward and bites down on your belt
>She swoops up into the air, and you're dangled ass-over-teakettle and watching as your incredibly gay anti-unicorn wand falls down to the ground.
>From this angle, you can't even kick the stupid pegasus mare stealing you away.
>You didn't do 100 crunches every morning for this crap!
>From your position, you can see ponies pointing at you.
>A few moments later, your waifu and her friends go sprinting off in your direction.
>Looks like you're going to be rescued.
>AGAIN.
>Why does this keep happening to you?!
>>
>>32507905
One would think Anon would get at least two bodyguards to be constnatly around him, or his herd would spare at least one mare to piggyback him, but instead... he is doing a stupid.
Great job, Anon, you've done well.
>>
>>32507102
>You are Anonymous
>So what if Flurry is bigger and has stronger magic than you
>You'll be the best damn magic user
>Other than Aunt Twilight
>And Starswirl
>...and Celestia...and Luna...
>And Dis- stop naming them.
>You just need to grow
>Like, literally grow

>You are Chrysalis
>You are in the rafters watching Anonymous
>When he goes into an empty hallway you drop down quietly and grab him from behind holding his mouth with your hoof
>He just sticks his tongue into one of the many hold and blows a raspberry
>Grossgrossgross
>You let go of him and dry your hoof off
>He's looking at you with a blank look
>"So... how's your day? If you're here to foalnap me my dad will tear you a new one...nevermind you have plenty"
>Why isn't he screaming how you're a monster?
>Whatever
>You cast the sleep spell on him feeling mildly irritated
>You take him back to the hive for answers
>>
>>32507933
>my dad will tear you a new one...nevermind you have plenty
Top kek! I can't recall seeing this one before, nice!
>>
>>32507937
Thanks
>>
>>32507690
Do you have any preferred prompts to contribute, or are you just going to complain without actually showing what you want to see?

Other people do prompts of things they want to see in response to things they don't like. Heck, some people even write stories that go the way they want in response to stories that don't go quite the way they want. We like these people.
>>
>>32508051
An example of what I would like to see in prompts:

> Be Anon working at Sugarcube Corner
> Trixie walks in, and you brace for bad pick up lines and blatant solicitation
> Instead, she just orders the Saturday special muffin and slumps off into a booth
> Eventually, you check on her
> "Anon, I think I am a goddess."
> She says this tiredly, without a trace of her usual arrogance
> She proceeds to tell you about how she's been looping through today more times than she can count
> You recognize the groundhog day scenario, and offer advice about helping others and such
> Trixie is intrigued about her life resembling human art, and agrees to give it a try
> She leaves with more pep in her step
> Over the course of your shift, you hear about good things she had done in town
> As you go to bed, you hope Trixie gets the same sort of ending as the movie
> The next morning, you start your shift and start on the Sunday Specials
> Pinkie Pie stops you, giggling
> "Silly, It's Saturday, not Sunday!"
> What does it mean, that you are now looping?
>>
>>32508166
Experienceing a groundhog day effect by itself would be weird but enjoyable for a while. Getting it passed down to you from someone else is infuriating, to say the elast.
Any good writefriend wants to make more of this?
>>
>>32508166
>>32508186
wonder how many times she tried to pick up Anon in her loops, and whether or not she thunks she's still looping, given that her last day of looping was on Anon's first
maybe that could work as a bookend of sorts, a different story from Trixie each day before Anon starts fucking around in his own
>>
>>32508237
I would really enjoy this story if Anon started off his Sunday and that began to loop instead. So his advice to Trixie and her doing good things/becoming a better pony altogether, would actually happen and have impact.
It should end with a pony helping Anon in a way he didn't think about, the looping passing onto them.
>And then Celestia is like "Not this again."
>>
>>32508186
Then there are variations that could happen:
Trixie and Anon are both looping

Anon goes through Trixie's loops, but she doesn't remember him in the next loop, only remembering her original go through of her loops. Eventually he catches up to her current, live self, having seen much of what she went through to become what she has become.
>>
>>32508312
Or maybe Trixie and Anon alternate loops, so that each one effectively loses the previous day's information, meaning that they need to carefully coordinate their efforts in order to solve the mystery and escape.
>>
>>32508312
Trixie goes through many loops, at the end her accumulated experience cause her to turn into an alicorn
>>
>>32508312
>>32508329
Why not make Anon actually join Trixie? Like in that Stargate episode. Man, I loved that show.
>>
>>32508350
Yeah that was pretty great
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U1jSGib-NA
>>
>>32508369
Hah, make Twilight be Daniel Jackson and the story for the green is complete.
>>
>>32508312
>>32508350
>Trixie tried to woo Anon just before the loops started
>that is, she tried it in her usual manner
>demanding he drop his pants and make her a sandwich, or something to that effect, of course
>got her shit slapped, but went about her day, largely forgetting about it
>but when she woke up the next day only to find that no time had passed, she figured that it must be some human curse
>tried to get him to undo it
>problem is, she was looking pretty fucking crazy, screaming at a cashier to undo the curse he had put on her
>more than once, she went to sleep in a padded cell, or just a regular old cell
>eventually realized that a subtler approach might be required
>started to spend time with him
>but there's only so much time that can be spent in a single (if repeating) day
>started to direct the conversations into different topics over the course of several loops
>learned more and more about him
>and eventually, "intelligence gathering" started to become "dates"
>but again, there's only so much time in a day
>and did it matter how perfect that day was, if only she remembered it the next?
>this broke her, and on that loop, she told her story to Anon
>even as she confesses to him, she doubts that it would truly matter in the end
>and with that, she heads out to follow his advice, if only for the novelty of it
>so, what is Anon to do when he wakes up to find he is not only in his own loop, but a boisterous Trixie confirming he may be at the start of it all, even for her?
basically, Anon knows Trixie likes him, and has to walk her through her own realization and character development via the story told to him by her future self
>>
>>32508398
I don't like variations where Trixie's efforts through the loops are nullified.
>>
>>32508166
>Trixie learns how to play the horsepiano and becomes proficient in ice-sculpting
>>
>>32508407
That's often the point of the loop story though, for good or ill no matter what happens it's only the last one that matters.
>>
>>32508480
But in that case, having Trixie go through the loops at all was completely pointless. You could just start the story off with Anon looping or something. Imagine if we read the whole story about Anon time looping, but then in the last paragraph it reveals he started the next day and forgot everything. It'd be a complete ripoff.
>>
>Luna ends up doing the Groundhog
>Finds out Anon also is looping
>Celestia becomes worried about her sister's sanity every loop when she does crazy shit with Anon
>Like O'Neill and Teal'c.

Though, it might be funnier with Anon and Twilight, with the Six and Glimmer wondering wtf's going on.
>>
>>32508494
Depends what you mean by 'nullified'
Trixie going through the loops and only her remembering them all is the standard variation.
I think what another guy suggested was that Anon suddenly starts looping the same day and has to 'catch up' to Trixie, although it's making my brain hurt a little trying to work out the logistics.
Best way to do it would be for Trixie's Saturday to loop. and for Anon's Sunday to start looping afterwards, with Anon's get-out-clause not being as obvious as "Be a nice guy."
A decent twist i dont recall seeing before is if the only way to solve the loop is to commit an evil act.
>>
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>>32508552
>A decent twist i dont recall seeing before is if the only way to solve the loop is to commit an evil act.

So, how evil are we talking about here? "Ow the edge" level evil? Make Flutters cry kind of evil? What?
>>
>>32508552
>Trixie tells Anon about the loops
>tells him what she did during them, then heads out to heopefully end her loops
>Anon is sent "back" to the beginning of Trixie's loops
>she doesn't remember anything, since it hasn't happened yet for her, but he remembers what she told him
>thus, they begin their loops together
>>
>>32508620
That sounds pointlessly complicated. Why not just join her for the next loop and the following ones, after Trixie explained Anon what's going on with her?
>>
>>32508634
I agree, that would make better sense
Either that or Trixies Saturday loops end and Anons Sunday loops begin
>>
>Be Spitfire
>Wonderbolt Captain and all around pretty awesome filly
>It was super early; eight in the morning in fact
>The sun was hanging pretty low in the sky
>You had been in this maple tree for a good half and hour, trying your hardest not to fall asleep
>You were wearing a neon orange hunting hat and a vest
>There was camo-colored paint under each of your eyes
>There was a pair of binoculars in your hooves, which you were using to survey the area around you
>You, the awesome, athletic creature that you were, had decided to partake in what was becoming a pastime for mares across the country
>You were human hunting
>For the past two weeks you had been stalking this area out, checking to see what game you'd be able to bag
>It had taken a little bit, but you were pretty sure you found your game
>He was a big fella, with bright blue eyes and hair that looked like it was black
>Liked to wear these dorky looking pink boots, and had these thick-rimmed glasses
>You liked stallions that wore glasses
>You also liked that his pants were JUST a bit too small around his groin
>The pegasus thing to do would have been to just fly over, give his rump a slap and take him on a date then and there, but you had read Princess Celestia's book
>The human male didn't like his fanny getting slapped
>Usually, a fanny-slapping was immediately responded with an angry man picking a mare up and throwing her violently through the air, usually into something hard and painful
>A human stallion needed to be treated differently
>You needed to beat around the bush a little bit; not quite sneak up on them and hit them on the heat with a club but kind of
>Steps needed to be taken
>Sort of
>You needed to play hard to get, or walk up and talk with him, or do what you're doing now, or go to a clothes shop and try to lewd him
>>
>>32508552
I think the problem with that twist is that it feels like a trick for the sake of a trick.
Someone in a situation where they're under stress, in a completely unusual supernatural situation, and (as far as they know) their actions have no consequences is very probably going to do something that's at the very least morally questionable pretty quickly.
Suddenly going "Oh, okay, NOW your actions have consequences," feels like pulling the rug out from under them out of spite. I guess it could make a good horror story, but it'd still feel pretty cheap.

Speaking of horror stories, it reminds me of a Korean comic once that had an interesting take on it. A guy gets to go back and live his life over again with his existing memories, but soon comes to realize that having to relive his childhood with an adult mind is crushing and unbearable.
>>
>>32508671
>It had all been a bit confusing, and you weren't too proud to admit that it had been a little overwhelming
>Princess Celestia's book was nonsensical a best and a horrible mess at worst
>But some of the girls on the team that had already gotten humans had said that all of this horse apples would be worth it
>So here you were, waiting for your prey
>There was a movement to your left
>Training your binoculars in that direction, you saw him making his way through the woods
>He looked half asleep, his hair messy and his eyes barely open as he stumbled forward
>This was apparently the best time to catch a human
>You gave your wings a ruffle, trying to sit still in your tree
>There you are...
>He lumbered toward you slowly, in the direction where you had set up a small table with a few cartons of blackberries
>Humans LOVED blackberries, no much so that they'd just walk up to them and start eating, no matter how they were presented or where they were placed
>You had thought that that was a load of horse feathers when you read it in the book
>Every human would do that?
>Really?
>They'd do it if you put them in some bucking back alley?
>There's no way
>But, as you've seen the last few days, your assumption had been completely wrong
>As soon as the human had seen the blackberries, he's always rush over and start stuffing his face
>He wouldn't look around, he wouldn't look confused or concerned, he'd just make an adorable little sound and rush toward them
>Just like he was doing now, some of the sleep leaving his face as he hurried over
>You couldn't help but shake your head at the sight
>Setting your binoculars down, you very slowly and VERY QUIETLY became climbing down your tree
>>
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>>32508681
>With the human distracted, all you'd need to do was go over there and catch him
>A wing hug and a lewd whisper in the ear should do the--
>A twig snapped as you stepped on it
>You winced as the human perked up and looked around with wide eyes
>Not a second later, he was dashing through the woods
>Shit...
>You deflated, falling out of your tree and landing in such a way that you were on your back
>There was no way you'd catch him
>A frightened human was a fast SOB, and you weren't zooming through these trees
>Sighing, you looked up at the sky
>Better luck tomorrow you guess...
>>
>>32508686
An idea I was kicking around. Will probably make a full one shot with it
>>
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>>32508606
>So, how evil are we talking about here?
With terms like "An evil act", I think you just have to do something entirely motivated by ill will and malice, without any thought of mitigating the damage or injury on someone else.

So, as long as your reasons for making Fluttershy cry are just "being a cunt", and not trying to get revenge for some imagined slight or accidentally being a bit rude to her, I'd say it would count.

When you start to get into "parody of a supervillain" level evil, logistics becomes a big limiting factor.
>>
>>32508692
I'm intrigued, but I'd like to see things from Anon's perspective next to understand how he's thinking, here.
>>
>>32508494
Tell me Anon, have you read Background Pony?
>>
>>32508692
Nice work LaP, I would love to see this expanded into something bigger. Also, this >>32508734
>>
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>>32508671
>>You had been in this maple tree for a good half and hour, trying your hardest not to fall asleep
Hmm
>>
>>32508734
>Anon
>Pink boots, tight pants, thick framed glasses
Sounds more like Anon's least favorite cousin, Basednon.
>>
>>32508674
>Suddenly going "Oh, okay, NOW your actions have consequences," feels like pulling the rug out from under them out of spite.
Code Geass did this. The MC had actually agreed to settle things peacefully in private talks with Euphemia, his sister, who was a pacifist. He's very fond of this particular sister, and didn't want her to be harmed.

His original plan was going to be to mind control her into shooting him and using that as justification for his terrorist forces to attack the princesses forces and rescue the civilians.

When she was confused at this, he started explaining his mind control power, and how he could give any order and the person would obey it. Up to and including ordering her to kill all of the civilians she'd gathered in the special administration zone.

I'll give you three guesses as to the exact fucking second his mind control power decided to activate itself on it's own, completely against his will, and the first two don't count.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1NHVUXHBI4

He ends up having to kill her himself, and oh boy is it awkward.

The writers were maliciously cruel towards him, honestly. To the point that it's actually a little bit funny to see just how much the deck was stacked against him due to random chance.
>>
>>32508761
Gookmoot is a real faggot with this word replacer shit, let me tell you.
>>
>>32508761
Yeah he's pretty based, not a lot of people can pull that style out.
>>
>>32508847
I'm already expecting the punchline to be that Anon is gay.
>>
>>32507690
Ok, let's do a complete 180 then.

>Anon has a bunch of health problems: anemia, asthma, etc.
>He's not in danger of keeling over at any moment, but he's far from being capable of being an athlete
>He's treated like glass, but he's thankful for it since it's less likely that he'll trigger any of his symptoms
>One day, Anon gets hurt and he needs help
>Mares start to swarm him to see if he's alright, but a nearby stallionist stops them
>"Look at what you're all doing! This colt has been so coddled all his life that he can't do anything without a mare's help! If you care about this stallion at all, you'll leave him alone and let him learn how to help himself."
>All the mares look conflicted between the angry, random stallion and the human who is whimpering in pain
>>
>>32508882
>So Anon takes a big breath and yells at the stallion.
"Fuck you, I'm actually hurt! Somebody help me already, goddammit!"
>Thus the mares silently agree on that the stallion is talking shit.
>They rush and help Anon and get him to a hospital in safety, leaving the stallion that stopped them fuming in rage.

What's the name for this world's feminazis? That stallion sounds like one of those people.
>>
>>32508681
>blackberries
I love you LaP, and I'm sorry, but you taste in berries is just shit
>>
>>32508916
Stallionazi, I suppose, though I'm pretty sure they don't have nazis to compare them to
Perhaps something to do with Nightmare Moon or Discord instead?
>>
>>32508930
maybe something to do with sombra, sombrallions?
>>
>>32508773
Blame /v/. They ran it into the ground, just like with everything.
>>
>>32508671
>You needed to beat around the bush a little bit; not quite sneak up on them and hit them on the heat with a club but kind of
Incomplete green line?

>>32508681
>VERY QUIETLY became climbing down your tree
Began?

Glad to see you back in the thread again.
>>
>>32508980
Well, /pol/ didn't help either. They were using that word in pretty much every other sentence when they first discovered that insult.
>>
>>32508606
Compare how a person acts prior to the standard loop story to how they are afterwards, that kind of act but in reverse.

>>32508674
>Suddenly going "Oh, okay, NOW your actions have consequences,"
To be fair, the standard groundhog day type story is often just as arbitrary.
It'd be an interesting take on the whole aspect, sort of a glimpse to how far your moral code will stretch before it breaks, or whether your sanity would first i suppose.

>>32508692
>Hunting the most dangerous game.
>Using a book written by the Princess of the Sun rather than the Princess of Love.
Although admittedly the blackberry thing would totally work, so maybe there's some merit.
>>
>>32508919
>doesn't like blackberries
fuck off, changeling scum. I'd bet you like that imitation crab shit too
>>
>>32508916
This reminds me of an episode of Ed, Edd, n' Eddy. Maybe we can add a stallion that's jealous of all the attention Anon is getting and starts pretending to be hurt to compete with him.
>>
>>32509041
>Shining Armor tries to get his son to eat imitation crab so that he can have some peace of mind that his family isn't ruthlessly murdering sea life

"Ew Dad, what is this stuff!? Tastes like Great Aunt Celestia's alfalfa!"
>>
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>>32508773
Actually it's a good change , only /pol/kiddies and /v/edditors used that word.
>>
>>32509091
What is it? Tripfag? Tripfriend? Faganon?
>>
>>32509099
s o y = onions
s o y b o y = basedboy
And the obvious
t b h
f a m
s o n i g g e r
n i n t e n i g g er (or n i n t e n k i d d i e s can't remember)
>>
>>32509109
Thanks for the list. Is there a running list of the wordfilters kept somewhere?
>>
>>32509109
Sounds like he takes personal offense to references to emasculated men with too little testosterone and too much estrogen.
>>
>>32509128
Sadly I couldn't find one, if you find a list please link me.

>>32509131
Nah, the s o y meme was boring, spammed too much and the joke run out. Just like those "Your mother will die in her sleep tonight if..." pics (they are now banned by the way).
I prefer the /fit/ version "Estronaut"
>>
Dammit, not the shitposting again. It took me minimal effort to lead the thread towards actual RGRE topics, I'm too tired and lazy to do that again.

Oh, here we go.
>>32508692
Hey LaP, would you kindly write a green about the groundhog day Trixie and Anon prompt that was posted before you posted this latest green of yours?
>>
>>32507690
Unironically this.
>>
>>32507933
>You are Anonymous
>You wake up in a dark room lit by dull green lights
>The changeling that you spent most of your time with is there
"So, how are you today?"
>"How did you know that I was a changeling?"
>Okay straight to the point then
"Well first off Crystal Clear is the most generic crystal pony name I've ever heard, second you never appeared on the census, and three I used a spell that let me know you were a changeling. It also helps that I saw you fall into my crab meat."
>She gives you a dull look
>"Then why didn't you go running to your parents?"
"I thought it would be fun to mess with you."
>"That's it?"
"Yep"
>She sighs in irritation
>"So you are a still living crab to mess with me?"
"Yes, also it was delicious"
>"You are either a sociopath or an idiot."
"No need for name calling. So what should I call you? Your real name obviously isn't Crystal"
>She looks at you for a moment
>"I am Queen Chrysalis."

>You are Chrysalis
>You almost expected the colt to brake down crying after waking up to the situation
>But then you remembered that Anonymous is most likely a sociopath
>Maybe you could intimidate him?
>You lean in and bare your fangs slightly
"Now what should I do with you?"
>"Let me go?"
"Why would I do that?"
>"Because I wouldn't tell anyone about this."
>What
"Why would you do that?"
>"Because I consider you my friend. Even if it was an act, I don't want harm to come to you."
>This has to be a ruse
>No pony could ever be friends with a changeling, much less the queen of them
>...Right?
>>
>>32509206
>>"So you are a still living crab to mess with me?"
Wat. What was supposed to be here??
>>
>>32509228
ate, I think
>>
>>32509234
Ah, okay, that actually makes sense. Thank you Anon.
>>
>>32509235
No, she had transformed into a crab to mess with him.
>>
>>32509247
A crab is fine too
>>
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>>32509228
>Mfw my auto-correct fucks me over
>>
>>32509206
>>"So you ate a still living crab to mess with me?"
There.
>>
>>32509277
One question - why did Chrysalis foal-nap him again after she drained him once and returned him to his home?
>>
>>32509282
Because I have no idea as to what I am doing, but I am trying my best
>>
>>32509166
No u
>>
>>32509320
Well, if she wants answers to the question about how she knew what he was and wasn't freaking out or anything and was worried about what would happen if she revealed herself then and there in the castle, that would make sense.
>>
>>32509282
She's confused as fuck as to why he's acting like he is and wants answers.
She's even more confused after receiving said answers.

>>32509320
It's cute senpai, keep doing you.
>>
>>32509282
First she took him to save him, because she genuinely likes him, then she took him to question him, because she does not understand why he likes her back.
>>
I want more greens where Anon doesn't take ponies shit.
>>
>>32509270
At least it's good for a laugh.
>>
>>32509372
I'm glad my fuck ups at least bring others joy
>>
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>>32509270
stop phoneposting
>>
>>32509408
I have no working computer for I am a poorfag
>>
>>32508515
it'd make more sense if it was anon and glimmer since she'd be more likely to mess with high tier magic that could cause such a situation.
>>
>>32509418
Why not unicorn Twilight then? Would make more sense, no?
>>
>>32509157
It's still a valid word with important uses. Not to mention the possibility that you might actually need to discuss the beans in some context.
Faggots just don't like being called faggots, I guess.
At least that word isn't filtered.
Yet.
>>
>>32509356
Maybe Anon could head a stallion rights movement.
>>
>>32509452
>Maybe Anon could head a stallion rights movement.
This would be a trainwreck and/or a big mess of ironic self-awareness.
>>
>>32509457
Or he could start actual equality stuff, aiming for equal rights and equal responsibility
>>
>>32509469
>Says he wants Equestria to be equal in the seconds
>Absolutely everyone shows up
>Next meeting talks about taking more demanding jobs like sewage treatment and plumbing
>Only Big Mac shows up
>>
>>32509356
That's about 50% of all the prompts stretching 4 pastebins.
>>
>>32509551
I don't know what stories you've been reading. It's more like 10%. Stories where he starts out strong, but then gives up and lets them do what they want don't count.
>>
>>32509511
kek
>Stallions spread the word about his meetings, excited that the new guy in town (and, thanks to his alien status, mild celebrity) wants to talk about more rights for stallions
>Half the male population shows up
"Let's talk about the workplace."
>"Yeah!" shouts a stallion from the crowd, "I get stare-raped all the time! We need higher wages! FUCK AIR CONDITIONERS!"
>Anon is nonplussed
"What? No. No, I mean that jobs like plumbers, sewage workers, and other dangerous professions are mare-dominated. You've got to take the good with the bad, and it's not fair to demand better better inclusion in the workplace if we don't do those sorts of jobs too."
>The entire crowd walks out
>Anon goes home and finds that one of his windows has been broken
>>
>>32509564
Well, let's think of ways to build up on and improve the idea, then. Just by itself, "Anon doesn't put up with ponies' shit" would produce a story that is unironically "you go, grrl!" and is nothing but repeated two-dimensional scenes where equally-flat pony characters demand Anon not do Thing, and then Anon effortlessly proves them wrong and does Thing. There are only so many times you can write "sexist pony doesn't want Anon to do traditionally mare-dominated job because reasons" before it gets boring. But the idea has potential if we expand on it: what if the jobs mares do are actually legitimately dangerous, and their motivation for trying to stop him is more white-knighting than being stubbornly sexist? Or, the mare who's arguing with Anon thinks he only wants to start doing Thing to make some kind of point or to impress his stallion friends, and objects on the principle that SHE doesn't want to put up with ANON's shit. It's a good solid base and something interesting can come from it, but by itself it's flat and boring. LETS DO THIS
>>
A REAL woman can cook her man a meal after coming home for work
>>
>>32509603
I assume that they don't want males doing dangerous jobs because they could get badly injured/die and that would be bad since there's an extremely low number of stallions. Loose too many of them and then your species won't be able to reproduce any more.
>>
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>>32509619
>Naked Apron
>>
>>32509619
I don't know. Sounds pretty fictional to me.
>>
>>32509621
Of course this doesn't apply to Anon since he's the only one of his kind there, but the instincts still apply. It's not about being sexist, it's about ensuring that their race can live to see another day.
>>
I'd like to see some greens about RGRE dragons. We haven't had any for a long time.
>>
>>32509579
>Modern ''Feminism'' in a nutshell.
>>
>>32509619
The only meal a REAL woman should make a man when she gets home is her cunt when she sits on his face, basedgal
>>
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>>32509619
>>
>>32509695
This
>>
>Anon thought getting a do-over of high school with dozens of horny teenage girls desperate for cock would be a dream come true
>Except there’s one problem.
>Anon wants to drown his dick in pussy but he still also wants to settle down and have kids at some point.
>And he knows that if RGREqG is anything like Earth, then decent girls typically aren’t going to consider a guy whose been with numerous girls in the past husbando material.
>So it’s with a heavy heart that he restrains himself despite the mental images of all his male ancestors calling him a huge faggot.
>It doesn’t help that one of his few male friends, Caramel, is a slut who’s always talking about which girls in school are the best in bed.
>Anon just needs to find the girl he intends to marry and fuck her till she’s confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
>>
>>32509603
>>32509579
"Rarity! Come on, open up and let me in!"
>"Absolutely not! Stallion or not, you are not coming in this home with that dreadful stench!"
"How do you expect me to wash myself if you won't let me in the shower?"
>"You should have thought about that before you took that sewer job. Honestly, not only do I get hounded by ponies about letting you take such a job, I spend the whole day worried about you, you know."
"... You do?"
>"Of course! How could I not!? All day, I thought about you being alone in those dark tunnels, surrounded by the filth and diseased-ridden rats. I couldn't stop thinking what could happen to you. What if you got bit and got a terrible disease? Or you get lost and nopony could find you? Or if a tunnel collapsed with you in it!
"..."
>"Darling, you can go and be a strong, independent stallion and make your own way. I would support you with all of my heart. But, I need to know that you're SAFE. I ... I need to be assured that you will come back to me at the end of the day."
"... I'm sorry, Rarity. I didn't mean to make you worry, but this job is important to me. Look, can we talk about this inside? Ponies are staring."
>"... Fine, I'll teleport you to the bathroom so you can bathe. But you can forget about sleeping in our bed until your natural, salty scent returns!"
>Honestly, you probably should have considered who your marefriend was before getting a job in the sewers
>>
>>32509798
>"... I'm sorry, Rarity. I didn't mean to make you worry, but this job is important to me."

>Many years earlier
>Little Anon sits in front of the TV, captivated by the adventures of Mike Rowe.
"Daddy, when I grow up, I wanna be a sewer maint'nance man!"
>"...Ask your mother."
>>
>>32509798
>>"Of course! How could I not!? All day, I thought about you being alone in those dark tunnels, surrounded by the filth and diseased-ridden rats. I couldn't stop thinking what could happen to you. What if you got bit and got a terrible disease? Or you get lost and nopony could find you? Or if a tunnel collapsed with you in it!
>"..."
>>"Darling, you can go and be a strong, independent stallion and make your own way. I would support you with all of my heart. But, I need to know that you're SAFE. I ... I need to be assured that you will come back to me at the end of the day."
Best waifu.
>>
>>32509397
Not really your fucked ups when it's auto correct and I'm still enjoying the story nonetheless. Keep up the great work friend you're a far better writefag than I.
>>
>>32509837
Fuck ups. See everyone falls to auto correct eventually.
>>
>Greg Universe in RGRE
>Music lover
>Single dad separated from his son
>Prone to panic attacks
Am I the only one who thinks this would make for a really good green?
>>
>>32509927
Yes.
>>
>>32509939
Is that a no yes, or a yes no?
>>
>>32509927
Steven Universe is tumblr cancer, so no.
>>
>>32509954
Just cause the fandom is cancer doesn't mean the show is cancer.
>>
>>32509958
True, but that also doesn't mean it's good
Which it isn't
>>
>>32509927
If what happens in the show doesn't matter, then why not just make it an Anon? He doesn't have any powers or anything, so there's no real reason for it to be him, as you could just do this
>Anon in RGRE
>Music lover
>Single dad separated from his son
>Prone to panic attacks
There we go, essentially the same character just without pointless baggage
>>
>>32509982
Greg is an already well established character that many people already sympathize with. It makes it easier than having to build that up from nothing.
>>
>>32510012
>Greg is an already well established character that many people already sympathize with. It makes it easier than having to build that up from nothing.
Just write well
>>
>>32510012
but it also makes him easier to hate, as evidenced by this very fucking conversation
like the other anon said; pointless baggage and cancer
>>
>>32510037
There will always be people who hate on stuff no matter what.
>>
>>32506559
>>Raven is just looking at the two of you like she just cant even this conversation, just literally cant even
"On a scale from "one" to "even", I just can't.
>>
We need more greens revolving around music pones. Like Rara or Songbird.
>>
>>32507328
>3+ shits a day
Fuck, dude. You're either eating so much per meal that +25 feet of colon are packed clear full EACH MEAL, or you're in DESPERATE need of fiber. Either way though, if you're shitting more than an average of 1.5 times a day, your colon health is the stuff of nightmares (seek help before you find yourself stuck for life with a colostomy bag).
>>
>>32509066
Isn't imitation crab still meat though? I thought it was just a different type of fish.
>>
>>32509927
>Be Greg Universe
>You ended up caught in some magic shenanigans with the gems that sent you here
>To be honest Equestria wasn't so bad
>It was pretty peaceful for the most part
>Plus you didn't have to work any more
>Heck, you were basically being pampered
>There's just one problem
>YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR SON WITH YOU
>>
>>32507409
In ponyland, their colon's work perfectly. To the point where they're damn-near sterile after shitting. No residue, no cling-ons, it's like they've just had a full medical-grade enema prep job for a colonoscopy. Squeaky clean all the way back to the connection between large and small intestine.
>>
>>32507430
Actually, bidets spread extreme levels of fecal bacteria all over your ass crack. Wiping is significantly more sanitary (provided the wiper washes their hands afterward, of course).
>>
>>32509579
>Anon goes home and finds that one of his windows has been broken
Good thing he didn't try to start up an abused wives shelter in RGR world, otherwise he'd have bomb threats at events, death threats, police escorts, police checking his mail, and he'd go home one day to find his dog killed.
>>
>>32509206
>You are Anonymous
>Cryst- Chrysalis decided to "interrogate" you
>You told her the truth
>The truth may not have been what she was expecting or something
"So Chrysalis, can you take me home? I'm pretty sure my parents noticed that I'm gone."
>"I took you five minutes ago."
"Well then nevermind."
>She sighs and shakes her head
>"I don't understand, why do you consider me a friend? I'm an enemy of Equestria and by extension the Empire."
"So? We spent months together having fun and NOT killing each other."
>She stares at you with a confused expression
"As far as everyone else knows, you're just Crystal Clear an average unicorn, and not the queen of changelings. And even if they find out, I'm guessing you were the one who kept me from being cooked alive. That should be a good point in your favor"
>She stops

>You are Chrysalis
>He's right
>You did save his life, and the fact he trusts you can sway any punishment you may receive if caught
>That colt is right
>You sigh in relief that your secret is safe and that you can spend more time with the little colt
"Alright, I'll take you back. But you need to swear to not tell anypony about me!"
>"Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye"
>Gross
"Never say that again."
>"No promises"
>>
>>32509603
I remember a story where Anon started a job working at a Pony Coffee Shop. Technically he was Twilight's ward and needed her permission to do that, and everyone generally objected to him doing dangerous things. Same basic idea, right? Coffee shop work was the most dangerous job he could convince people to let him do.

It goes fine until something goes wrong with one of the steam machines, and Anon gets a really, really bad burn on his arm. Writhing on the ground, unable to talk coherently levels of pain.

I think the story ended just as Twilight is doing some kind of medical spell on his arm.
>>
>>32509847
>>32509837
>>
>>32508681
>>As soon as the human had seen the blackberries, he's always rush over and start stuffing his face
>rush over and start stuffing his face
>>32507504
>"The man I am feeding blackberries is a barbarian."
>>
>>32507328
What >>32510100 said. Something's either wrong with your diet, or your digestive system.
>>
>>32508930
>>32508973
Stallio-nightzis?
>>
>One day Anon decides to do a social experiment
>He walks around the entire day naked
>How do the ponies respond?
>>
>>32510331
>Finally! he stopped wearing all those clothes like a filthy sloot. i'm glad he came to his senses.
>>
>>32510340
>He really should learn to keep it in his sheath though... not that I'm complaining.
>>
>>32510285
Now we need the poner equivalent of Austin Powers
>You are Celestia
>You contracted the most distinguished spy in all of Equestria
>The job is simple
>Find your "nephew" Anonymous Heart and make sure so mare has her eyes set on him other than yourself and Luna
>The spy may do whatever she sees fit to make sure no mare takes him

And Austin Powers-esq hijinks esnue
>>
>>32508515
>Luna in a time loop
>Is initially convinced that it's a dream/nightmare and not real.
>Takes several loops at the least before she catches on.
>>
>>32510432
>Spend at least 40/50 loops as Nightmare Moon before getting bored of it.
>>
>>32509963
Greg universe is legitimately the best character in the show, besides the creators giving him a giant woman fetish, but everyone in the show as that
>>
>>32510536
I agree.
The plane-uncle is up there too.
>>
>>32509780
>Anon resists mightily.
>He doesn't know who his waifu is yet, he must discover her somehow.
>He goes on dates occasionally
>It's much easier to get a date when they ask him out.
>They obviously want sex, but he must be strong!
>If she wants his boner, she must give him a heartboner too!
>One of them realizes that he's struggling mightily to restrain himself from ravishing her.
>She can't help from pushing her chest out or bending over in front of him when she can practically feel his gaze on her.
>This is an alien experience for her, every other boy gave no signs whatsoever of actually wanting sex at all, let alone with her specifically.

>She works up the courage to just ask him what's going on.
>She is genuinely confused when she hears his reasoning.
>When he brings up Caramel's THOT-erry, she understands a bit, but there's obviously some disconnect going on here.

>Being a THOT is obviously bad.
>But while not quite as lopsided as horsequestria, the ayyys still have boys outnumbered by the girls.
>Monos are common, but small herds (2-3 girls to a guy) aren't rare either.
>Virginity is a plus for guys, but not required.
>Girls don't want a guy who gets gangbanged by the whole soccer team, or has one night stand's every weekend.
>But it's acceptable if he's got some prior experience by way of girls who were actually in a relationship with him at the time, and he's not as psycho asshole who breaks their heart and dumps them whenever someone new catches his fancy.
>>
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>>32510536
It doesn't really matter whether he's good or bad. Aside from people's dislike of Steven Universe, there's no real reason for him to be the Human instead of Anon. What does he bring that an Anon couldn't?
>No special powers or anything of a similar sort
>No special vehicle or tools
>His money is worthless in this universe
>He barely knows anything at all about the Gems so he wouldn't even be a very good lore dump to interest the Ponies in
>They don't know anything about Earth so his describing his version isn't really surprising or impressive
At this point, there's no reason to have him in a story instead of Anon other than wanting the character in a story for the character's sake. If anything, someone like Grunklestan would be a better character to have.
>Has dealt with all sorts of supernatural creatures before
>Has a knowledge of both science (to a degree) and the supernatural
>Has knowledge of alternate universes
>Has an assortment of bizarre creations laying around
>Has books of knowledge at his disposal
>His wide variety of schemes, plus his love of adventure would be an easy set up for many stories
If you want to have a character instead of an Anon in a story, fine, but people will generally be reasonably uninterested if the character only exists in the story because you like the character and that's it.
>>
>>32510107
It's extremely fine-pulverized (cooked) white fish meat (generally cod, I think), they add a ton of refined starch to make it more uniform and to hold the shape. Then they color parts of it with food-safe dyes to make it look like crab meat.

It's like the crab version of a hot dog. It's not really healthy, but as long as you're not subsisting off the stuff, it's fine.
>>
>>32510606
>If anything, someone like Grunklestan would be a better character to have.
This.
>"Hm, this seems like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing im an uncle!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YB1xGh1Gwcw
>>
>All this talk about groundhog day loops.
What if the time loops were longer term than a day?
A week, a month, a season?
>>
>>32510697
>Ponies think Anon is an omnipotent, wise-being.
>In reality, he's groundhog so much that he knows pretty much everything about the ponies and their lives.
>>
>>32510697
There is a Sweetie Belle story with a groundhog day loop who last a week. It was more interesting like that with more possibility.
>>
>32510115
>No (You) for faggots
Is summer over yet? Get the tumblr-trash out of here.
>>
So how would things go if gary busey showed up.
>>
>>32511086
He would get into a terrible carriage accident, and they would have to rebuild his brain with sawdust.
>>
>>32510258
>You are Cadence
>Anonymous and Crystal have been spending more time together
>Gooood
>Your plan is coming together
>"Honey you're making the face again."
>You look at your husband
"My plan is bearing fruits Shiny! We shall be grandparents by the end of the next two decades!"
>"Cadence please tell me you aren't in heat again, you act crazy when you're in heat."
"No that starts in another two weeks, but look!!"
>You made a shipping chart
>It has a bunch of X's over potential mares that could have gotten together with your son
>The only mare, this case filly, that isn't crossed out is Crystal Clear
>Her picture has circles over it
"MY PLAN HAS WORKED!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
>Shining sighs and shakes his head before dumping a glass of water on your head
"Gah sweet Celestia that's cold! What the buck Shining?!"
>He gives you a look that says "I'm done with your shit, calm down"
>"Stop acting crazy. You always get like this when you think ponies will get together but this is the worst I've seen you. Calm down and I'll do that thing you like so much."
"...which thing?"
>"THAT thing"
>You calm down instantly
>>
>>32511189
>that thing
You understand you have to write about Anon walking in on his horseparents doing that thing, right?
>>
>>32511202
>Chrysalis sees it too, and is shocked at this lewdness before her eyes.
>Anon is surprised at her naivete regarding sex.
>Cadence finds out about this, and wonders how Chrysalis could ever fool Shiny into thinking she was her.
>>
>>32511202
I'll try to bring the keks
>>
>>
>>32510718
>I don't feel so good, Scoots...
>>
>>32509780
I feel for his hell, or I would, if I even noticed anyone looking at me after pulling a disappearing act like Wallflower.
>>
>>32509982
Honestly, an Anon like this would be pretty normal in a RGRE setting.
But more willing to hug sad mares.
>>32510012
The don't suck at writing a made up character. Duh.
>>
>>32510569
Stop reminding me reality is shit.
>>
>>32510606
>>32510677
I miss Nonnybravo and the fun writing he brought. This would be perfect for him.
>>
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>>32509780
>He doesn't slut it up in this newfound paradise
NIGGA YOU CAN'T FUCK MORALS AND DIGNITY
>>
>>32511246
I want to see more interesting shenanigans due to the fact that Chrysalis is 10 years old but nobody knows it.
>>
>>32511519
maybe not, but morals and dignity can get you things you CAN fuck
long and hard, even, and for the rest of your life, too
>>
>>32510718
You're thinking of The Sweetie Chronicles, which was a fanfic about fanfics. Sweetie ended up getting tossed through a bunch of alternate realities after a magical accident Sliders/Quantum Leap-style, with other fanfic worlds being where she'd end up. One of them was a Groundhog Day inspired Blueblood redemption story that I can't recall the name of. It was one of the largest arcs to the story as far as I know, though I haven't read it since 2012 and where I left off she had just finished that part and jumped to another world.
>>
>>32511561
That was The Best Night Ever. It was extremely good, although shorter than I remember.
Interestingly, it was written by the same guy who would go on to write Psi Effect, one of the best Mass Effect fanfictions.
>>
>>32511561
Probably, I didn't read The Sweetie Chronicles but there is an other story (maybe from that) called A Little Loopy, you can find it on fimfiction.
>>
>>32511561
>a fanfic about fanfics
not quite the same, but I absolutely DESPISE fanfic crossovers, and a fanfic that's pretty much just that sounds... pretty shit, actually
far too many good displaced stories had interruption after interruption shoved down their throats in order to make space for some other author's OC to make an appearance and slaughter the pacing even more
>>
>>32510536
Kys summer fag
>>
>>32511590
My thoughts exactly.
>>
I agree that we need more single dad Anons.
>>
>>32510012
Nobody fucking wants your dumb crossover, you shit. If you're that desperate to write about Stephen Universe, then just apply his most prominent characteristics to Anon and go from there.
>>
>>32511609
uh, but why?
>>
>>32510246
iunderstoodthatreference.gif
>>
>>32510379
We once had Johnny Bravo (Nonny Bravo) in Equestria. Would an Anon stand-in be Anon Powers or Autist Powers?
>>
>>32511716
or Autism Powers
>>
>>32511246
>>32511523
That's actually a pretty good idea.

>If Shining had not been mind-controlled by Chrysalis, he probably would have thought it was strange that she only wanted him to cuddle her and tell her bedtime stories
>>
>>32511733
>Anon/Autist thinks he's being really smooth with the mares
>In reality, he's just staring silently at them because he has no understanding of the concept of social graces
>>
>>32511738
hahaha immersion too real
>>
>>32511738
>he finally gets a date with a mare, but he’s too handsy and a stallion in a cucumber suit takes his date
>>
>Autism Powers gets into a fight with the main villain
>The poor mare feels very uncomfortable that a mentally-challenged male is confronting her and apparently expects her to attack him
>Surrenders silently just to escape the situation
>Autism feels proud of himself and rewards himself with his favourite dinner
>>
>>32511762
>"TENDIES, BABY, YEAH!"
>"OH BEHAAAVE, MR DIPPING SAUCE!"
>>
>>32511716
No, the spy would be Pony Powers, or something like that of I'm understanding this correctly
Anon is the nephew
>>
>>32511827
Arcane Powers: International Mare of Mystery.
>>
>Be Dadnon
>Through some twist of fate you and your baby boy landed in Ponyville
>Literally
>Luckily your body broke the fall
>The ponies were a little wary until they learned you were a single father
>Then you couldn't get them to stop fawning over you
>You didn't really mind though
>It sure as hell beats having to work a dead end job just to make ends meet
>Maybe in this world you could give your son the life he deserves
>>
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>>32511858
>You see Ms. Powers
>I love GOOOOOLD
now using picture not for ants my bad
>>
>>32511872
Fuck, I actually have that movie on VHS. It was great.
>>
>>32511862
>Be Anon Jr.
>It's parents day at Ponyville Schoolhouse
>Against your better judgement you asked your dad to come
"Dad c'mon, we're gonna be late!"
>"Hey Late, I'm Dad."
>Today was going to be Tartarus
>>
>>32511862
>Single father is extremely popular because he's a single father
>RGRE
Does not compute.
>>
>>32507386
Wash yo ass
>>
>>32511933
"pitiable" might be a better term than "popular"
and besides, if you were in that situation, would you turn down any hand outs?
>>
Speaking of single dad-anons, what happened to that story about Moondancer, Anon, and his daughter Jane?
>>
>>32511933
In the old days when marriages lasted, being a single mother ment you were torn from your husband by circumstance or had to leave him because he was an asshole, thus lots of fawning and assistance from friends and neighbors. Not so common anymore with the single mother epidemic
>>
>>32511952
Ye. The fawning still tends to happen, regardless of the circumstances of divorce. "I fucked a trillion dudes while my husband was at work" still gets nearly as much pity as "My husband beat me half to death and nearly raped my children".
>>
>>32511995 I'd like to think that's not true, but knowing humanity...
>>
>>32512009
Well, it's unfair to say that sort of thing happens with every case, and I know I've seen a good number of "I sucked dicks and divorced my husband" cases get the general response of "what the actual fuck, you whore?" But, I mean, it's certainly out there.
>>
>>32510115
Considering his nature, I could see Greg talking down some of the MotW just by being sympathetic.
>>
>>32510677
Oh god that would be hilarious.
>>
>>32512136
Agreed
>>
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>>32511770
>>
>>32511918
>dad jokes
some things are never change no matter what universe you're in
>>32511770
>>32510677
kek
>>
>Anon had a villain phase, then switched to a hero phase when his daughters were born.
>Have to be a good example, you know?
>One of them is growing up well, and will be a functional member of society one day.
>That's more than he could ever ask.
>Problem is, one of his daughters found out about his past, and she absolutely idolizes him (from the past).
>She's constantly trying to get him to return to his old ways.
>Always trying to bring upon an eternal [something] upon the ponies.
>Recently she's settled on [night], after discord took [candy storm]
>She's also been calling herself Nightmare Moon.
>Good name, but her MO could use some work.
>Well, if things get bad, he could always give her a time out to the moon.
>>
>>32512339
>>Well, if things get bad, he could always give her a time out to the moon.
"Go to your moon, young lady!"
>"But daaaad!"
"Don't 'but dad', me. I don't want to see you down here for a thousands years, alright?"
>"Fiiiiine..."
>>
more for the last thread then this one
>>32503407

The best moment some of the people in my school had on a bus was when the driver died while driving and the bus flipped over into a ditch.

no one was seriously injured... besides the busdriver
>>
I wonder how an anon who sung lounge songs would be received. Tom Waits early stuff might be a hit.
>>
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>>32512016
>I've seen a good number of "I sucked dicks and divorced my husband" cases get the general response of "what the actual fuck, you whore?"
That's when they start lying about it and flat out making things up to make themselves look better. If they don't start the lies in the courtroom, that is.
>>
>>32512584
That's why you don't marry a thot, Anon. That's what dating is for: determining if you're having sex with trash.
>>
>>32512584
that's why you record /everything/, make copies, and plan contigencies if there's even a shred of doubt. god bless those that are able to find those without a shred of doubt
>>
This board could use some /ss/
>>
>>32512748
>Ponies age much slower than humans
>Ponies can expect to live at least a few hundred years, which is why an elderly pony like Granny can remember when an entire town was founded
>Ponies find out that Anon is only in his 20's, and their hooves immediately fly up so that nopony can see them and think they're touching what they think is a young human colt
>Other mares find themselves suddenly interested
>Anon plays along because acting as pseudo-jailbait is the only way it looks like he's going to get any pussy
>>
>>32512940
I like the reversed version of this more.
>Ponies grow and age really quickly
>A foal reaches sexual maturity at 6 months and physical maturity at 1 year
>Granny Smith is actually 12 years old and the princesses are in their mid 40's
>There comes Anon, a normal human in his mid 20's
>After a while he realizes how ponies age and then regarded the same way Tolkien's elves compare to humans
>The princesses are quite intrigued by the strange biped alien that has the potential to outlive them
>Meanwhile Anon is just trying to wrap his mind around why would a year on the planet would last 17 days, while the days last only 8 hours, if his phone can be trusted
>Is Equestria's sun a red dwarf or something? Is it Trappist-1?
>>
>>32513017
>>Meanwhile Anon is just trying to wrap his mind around why would a year on the planet would last 17 days, while the days last only 8 hours, if his phone can be trusted
>Meanwhile meanwhile, ponies are worried that Anon has only slept 17 times in the entire years and stays awake for days at a time
>>
>>32513037
God this is weird. I love it.
>>
>>32507180
french actually, but japan is one of the countries who adopted it near universally, at least when its a western style toilet
>>
>>32513037
Like an elf on cocaine.
>"No Anon, I'm telling you, you are not fine!"
Twilight, for the love god, I'm normal, this is normal, you are overreacting! Now let me sleep a full 8 hours."
>"A whole day again?! See? I'm telling you something is definitely wrong!"
>>
>>32513017
>>32513037
9496 days in 26 years
1 year = 17 days
Anon is 558 years old and I did the math without counting the 8 hours day because I suck at math. I guess he must be over one thousand year old or something like that in this setting.
>>
>>32513114
>24 divided by 8 = 3
>9496 multiplied by 3 = 28,488
>28488 divided by 17 = 1675.7
and with only 5.1 poni-days left until his 1,676th birthday, I'd say he's a bit passed a thousand "years"
>>
>>32505144
Here is an idea, Have anon have a secret password that only he knows. He decided to tell a time traveler the password, and when they use it on past anon, he will believe everything they say and roll with it.

In the case of a groundhogs day scenario, this would mean the password is infinitely useable.

Imagine luna in a loop, this is the 20th day since she gave in and let it happen deciding fuck it, let's get some strange dick tonight and went to anon, after a few more loops she realises he is a bit weird, breaking down and telling him the situation, he gives her the password, an instant 'ok, lets do this shit' keyword
>>
>>32513158
I'd say the years that happened before he was on pony world should still be counted by human world time.
>>
>>32513158
How long would this make Luna's thousand years long banishment? Imagine Anon doing the math and then being disappointed at the ponies. Dadnon disappointed.
>>
>>32513158
Thanks for doing the math.
>>
>>32513183
just under twenty days, earth time
>>
>>32513168
but we don't know how long he's been on Equestria
>>
>>32513168
I don't think that's how it works. Even dog years are derived by the biological aging of dogs compared to humans' and this is literally a different planetary system.
>>
>>32513017
Twist: The ponies actually perceive time normally - but relative to Equestria, Earth (and thus Anon) is just incredibly sloooooow.
>>
>>32513037
>Birthdays every half month in a town with Pinkie
> A winter wrap up every 17th day
> More days woth holidays than without
>These days are a third of normal Earth days

This would be a nightmare. The kind of stuff that makes someone go mad.
>>
>>32513203
>>32513206
The two ends of the spectrum, wew. I think I would rather go with the second option.
>>
>>32513206
Maybe ponies perceive time slower as well, so they never stand there and wonder, "Why are over half the days of the year holidays?"
>>
>>32509157
to be honest, every single person who eats s o y as a supplement is a tremendous faggot and are near universally the same archetype.
>>
>>
>>32509579
>After this shit show happens, he understands what he must do
>Anon infultrates the stallions rights movements in various cities, and starts vicious infighting
>He plants the ideas in their heads
>Its never linked back to him
>On city at a time, he turns the movements into complete jokes till most normal ponies are embarrassed to be associated
>>
>>32513189
>The Town Hall goes dark as Nightmare Moon enters, revealing that Princess Celestia is nowhere to be found.
>Her speech is immediately interrupted by a weird hairless primate that wears clothes and a really disappointed expression.
"Luna, are you quite done?"
>Nightmare Moon is taken aback, her eyes going wide.
>"But... a thousand years... you didn't even age a bit... how?"
"Get down from there young lady."
>"B-but!"
"No buts. I am disappointed in you."
>Meanwhile the ponies, including Twilight Sparkle, are just staring at this strange display in disbelief and confusion.
>>
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>>32513223
>>
>>32513233
>>"B-but!"
>"No buts. I am disappointed in you."

"No buts, except for the one I'm going to spank if you don't get down here right now!"
>>
>>32513159
>tfw have already created a password for myself in case time travelers happen or something
>>
>>32513206
Assuming a normal sleep schedule, Anon would stay up two full 8 hour days the sleep every third. This means that Anon would have to occasionally miss his “birthday” which would probably be determined by Pinkie in some contrived method requiring long dividing 365 and 17 then rounding to the nearest whole number. Additionally, a normal human metabolism would require three meals interspersed every 16 hours, or three meals every two days. A standard work day in Equestria would be 2 hours and 40 minutes which would mean a 13 hour 20 minute work week.
>>
>>
>>32509780
This anon knows jack fucking shit about the real world. crazy cunts who fuck everything that walks are not marriage material due to a track record.
Knowing what I know, most men will only be going after the top 20% of men, and even then, the top 5% or less is what everyone is shooting for. This allows me a great opportunity of I can have my fun, fuck off when im done, and find the right person then, If they ask how many people you are with, say a few, or some other vague answer so you are never lying, odds are they don't want to know the real one, and if push come to shove point that out, that no matter how small the number is, anything more then 1 will upset them.

from there, you got your waifu, you got a good waifu, while every single other guy is trying to get the multi millionaire pissed off they didn't get the billionaire, you get to cuddle with someone you love at the end of the day, and though you life of wish fulfillment, you don't wonder the 'what if' scenario that everyone else is.
>>
>>32513273
>Fish tits steal the dicks
>>
>>32513017
Do I really have to be the one to point out the problem with this scenario? Okay then, fine.

>Apple Bloom ambles up to Anon and does some cute kicky hooves.
>"Hey Aynon, me and the crusaders are gonna try gettin' our cutie marks in 'bein adorable.' You wanna help?"
>One week later
>"Ahm daeyed."
>>
>>32509798
Sould have anon just pause there till rarity pipes up and ask why is he silent

"Im sorry rarity, im still getting use to the whole someone other then me gives a shit about me so long as money is on the table, going to take a long time to get use to that"
>>
>>32513286
>>one week later
but that would only be, like, a third of a poni-year
>>
>>32513286
How can it be made more realistic then? Maybe if a year lasted like... 117 days instead? Yeah, that sounds better.
>>
>>32513275
thanks for the lifesnax, chad
>>
>>32510340
>She notices his penis is out of its sheath
>Why is it out of its sheath
>Its the go kart race episode
>Oh god he's going to watch
>He sees cherrily in the cheerleader outfit
>OH NO HE HAS AN ERECTION
>>
I like the idea that ponies can tell who their soulmates are, but humans can't.
>>
>>32513288
That's so heavy-handed it probably made Rarity think he's implying something about her in the fashion of a typical cunty colt.
>>
>Normally Fluttershy has anxiety issues, and stallions almost make it crippling.
>But not with you.
>You don't look like a stallion, don't act like a stallion, and don't smell like a stallion.
>Fluttershy can acknowledge that you're male, but subconsciously it doesn't click. She can speak and act around you without issues. She cozies up to you without her usual hangups, even going further than a mare should because she's so comfortable. It even seems weird to your dense self, but you're not going to push the attention of a beautiful female away.
>The other mares around town wonder when meek Fluttershy suddenly kicked her game into high gear.
>>
>>32513328
IDEAL
PONE
SIZE
I like your idea. Fluttershy a cute.

>that pic
Also it's been a long time since I saw anybody acknowledge that ponies can use their tails to do things, to the point where Applejack can throw a lasso with hers.
>>
>>32513328
Yes.
>>
>>32513298
If we keep the 8 hours days, that would make an Equestrian year last precisely 39 Earth days. So 26 years old Anon would be ~243.5 years old on Equestria.
>>
>>32513342
and that would make the moon-banishment last somewhere around seventy-eighty years earth time
haven't done the math, but it could be interesting, though I prefer the 17 day year
>>
>>32512748
One of the current stories is shipping colt Anon and queen chrysalis.
>>
>>32513358
I did the math, if we take the 117 days long year variation, then the millenia long banishment would be just under 4.5 Earth years.
There were many speculations about the age of Granny Smith too, right? She's considered to be around 110 years old afaik, which would make sense in this scenario, making her 12 Earth years old.
8 hours long days, 117 days in a year, an Earth sized planet orbiting a red dwarf star, this sounds quite plausible to me.
>>
>>32513381
Chrysalis whom is of approximately the same age as him.
>>
>>32513393
?
I remember the idea being tossed around, but was it ever put in the story?
>>
>>32513392
huh, guess I was off by quite the bit, then
always show your work, kids

>>32513415
its a work in progress, so they aren't exactly fucking yet
>>
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>>32513328
My favorite Fluttershy.
>>
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>>32513223
>>
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>>32513328
>Anon cant speak equestrian at first, so coupled with his numerous differences from ponies and other horse-creatures her brain classifies him as "Animal friend" first and foremost which bypasses all her social anxiety.
>By the time she considers him a full person she knows him well enough to be completely comfortable.
Without the "Ponies and humans speak the same language" plot convenience, Fluttershy is pretty much your go-to pony for basic needs.
>>
>>32513475
I like the idea that Fluttershy is the only one who can understand Anon and vice versa, thus causing him to have to rely on her for translations.
>>
>>32511189
Is there a pastebin for this green?
>>
>>32513532
Nope
>>
>>32513475
>Maybe you won't be such a disappointment in the next dimension
Man, Fluttershy would absolutely mean this in the best. most earnest way possible if she ever said that. If she spoke these words, it would mean that she was genuinely optimistic that you'd do better next time and wanted to cheer you up.

>Fluttershy will never console you when you realize nopony wants to date the weird monkey alien
>Her experience with animals makes her more open to the idea of dating someone as strange as you
>Which is to say, she's used to seeing creatures like you and nothing about you triggers the "oh god what is this take it back please go away" reflex other mares seem to have
>Fluttershy worries that she's becoming a typical "nice mare"
>>
>>32513421
>its a work in progress, so they aren't exactly fucking yet
I was talking about them being the same age.
>>
>>32513582
yeah
Anon's six in this life, and Chrysalis is ten, even though her body's gone full queen-mode (probably) earlier than expected for an as-of-yet undisclosed reason
>>
>>32513556
Please make one, friend.
>>
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>>32513573
She gets closer every day.
>>
>>32508692
Great work!
>pls more Spitty green
>>
Let's get sad shall we?
>Anon lands in Equestria
>At first it's pretty great
>No poverty, no war, no pollution
>Sounds like a paradise right?
>The only problem is that there are no other humans
>Anon needs human contact
>Contact that he can't get
>Ponies just don't fill that void
>It only gets worse as reality sinks in
>He'll never see his friends again
>He'll never see his family again
>He can't even start his own family because he can't interbreed with ponies
>At first he starts loosing energy to do things
>Then he starts loosing sleep
>Then he can't even bring himself to leave his house
>One day it's become too much for him
>He can't stand it any more
>He'd rather die than continue to live in this hell
>So he writes a note and hangs himself
>He's only found a few days later when somepony goes to drag him out of his house for a little while
>This is a huge shock to the ponies
>Suicide is literally unheard of in Equestria
>>
>”Some of you dykes are cool. If any of you live in the Canterlot Area, don’t go to school tomorrow.”
>>
>>32513249
You don't have one, anon?
I've had one since I was 8 years old, just in case I ever needed to get word back to my past self but couldn't do it in person or wouldn't be recognizable.
>>
>>32513280
Is it wrong that every time someone says "fish tits" I think "fish sticks", and imagine cooking their breasts and eating them with ketchup like cheap walmart fishsticks?
>>
>>
>>32513727
Actually cooking and eating their tits is weird, but I could see Sonata making a dumb joke like that, then putting ketchup on her tits so you can "clean" her up.
>>
>>32513740
You know what's weirder? Ketchup on fish sticks.
>>
>>32513742
ikr? Dipping is superior to all other forms of sauce-usage.
>>
>>32513742
Just the shitty walmart off-brand kind. Their breading is junk, the fish is sub-par, and wasting any other kind of dip on it would just be an abuse of power over your condiment selection. (Like wasting expensive scotch as mixing booze and drinking it out of a plastic dixie cup.)
>>
>>32513738
>sonata will never rape you
>>
>>32513245
"Don't make me take off my sandal, young lady!"
>>
>>32513773
We've been over this, anon. The willing cannot be raped.
>>
>>32511189
>You are Anonymous
>It's been two weeks since you were taken by Chrysalis
>You haven't seen your parents all day
"Flurry have you seen mom and dad?"
>"No, why?"
"I haven't seen them at all today."
>She thinks about where mom and dad could be before getting a shit eating grin
>"Why don't you ask your FILLY FRIEND where they could be?"
>You can't help but blush
>Stupid child body and it's mind altering chemicals
"S-shut up!"
>You go to the library and find Chrysalis
"Have you seen my parents anywhere?"
>"Why would I know that?"
"You have spies everywhere."
>She sighs and goes up to one of her changelings
>They say that mom and dad have been in their room all day
>That's weird but whatever
"C'mon let's go"
>"Why do I have to go?"
"I want to see the look on their faces when they see me holding hooves with you."
>"H-how scandalous!"
>You give her a confused look but internally shrug
>You and Chrysalis go to your parents door and open it while holding her hoof
"Hey Mom Dad gue-...what the buck."
>Chrysalis' face is completely red
>Mom and dad are...
>Double hoof holding and kissing
>THIS is what kept them here all day?!?
>Mom and dad stop kissing and look at you and "Crystal"
>"Um...hi Anon"
>You wordlessly close the door and walk away
>After getting far away enough Chrysalis looks at you still red in the face
>"THAT WAS SO LEWD! HOW COULD ROYALTY DO SUCH A SCANDALOUS THING?!"
"They were just kissing."
>"EXACTLY!"
>you squint at her
"How old are you?"
>She calms down slightly and looks at you
>"I-i'm ten years of age"
>What
"You look like an adult!"
>"When a changeling queen perishes or leaves the hive the strongest drone takes her place."
"That kinda sounds like how bees' work"
>"Oh please, don't compare my kind to those little bugs!"
>She got in your face and puffed up slightly
"If you don't back up I'll kiss your cheek."
>She backs up fast
>"How lewd!"
>>
>Anon is found as a baby
>He's raised by ponies
>He still ends up as a marely colt though
>It's all thanks to the large amounts of testosterone in him
>Nature vs. Nurture
>>
>>32513789
We know that's not how that works, anon. There are too many beta sissy faggots who don't deserve to draw breath out there nowadays for the simple existence of testosterone to explain remaining a good person when growing up in an environment that encourages such blatant THOTery.
>>
>>32513787
I wonder, will Anon tell Chrysalis that he is actually a reborn person and kept all of his memories from his past life? Would blow Ms. Buggo away for sure.
>>
How can horse girls even compete?
>>
>>32513795
It depends on how much testosterone your body produces.
>>
>>32513800
>Chrysalis starts having lewd thoughts of her own
>kinda wants to do lewd things with her kinda-maybe-sorta-coltfriend Anon
>but they're both young enough for Chrysalis to think she has to "protect" him and his innocence
>so no lewd yet
>when Anon learns of this reasoning, he casually drops the fact he's (mentally) a fully-grown adult in a colt's body
>surprisingly enough, Chrysalis doesn't question this, but rather questions whether or not that should matter
>confusedandsexuallyfrustratedbughorsenoises.tapestry
>>
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>>32513801
Horse pussy
The end
>>
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>>32513801
>posting anti-horse pussy in horsefucker thread
>prefers 3dpd looking thot wymmin to glorious pony waifu(s)
Where the actual fuck do you think we are?
>>
>>32513810
>He doesn't know about superior fish puss
>>
>>32513819
Pass, you can have the dead fish girls.

Let me know when you're expecting too, as I understand it's the males who do all the preggo fun shit.
>>
>>32513795
thats because of all the estrogen in the water supply

thanks birth control
>>
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>>32513817
There is actually alot of eqg stuff in these threads, too. I'm not a fan of it myself, but some people here like it.
>>
>>32513819
Here's the (un)official /mlp/ "horsefucker board" rating system:
Poner>cat>pile of manure>3dpd>fish>gay>trap>nigger with AIDS>pavementkinSJW
If this doesn't apply to you, you are in the wrong place. But don't worry! We're more than happy to give you directions. >>>/trash/ is that way.
Best of luck to you, but don't come back.
>>
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>>32513834
what a bunch of fucking weirdos
>>
>>32513683
>ywn catch what's-her-name before she does something stupid and cuddle the anger out of her
>>
>>32513738
I like to think that most mares have that attitude towards condoms due to machismo. Mare-chismo.
>>
>>32513835
I dunno, I might put fish over 3dpd, but yeah. It's a pretty close tie for me.
>>
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>>32513847
Oh most definitely.
>>
>>32513847
>>32513857
Especially if mares aren't fertile year-round. No risk of unwanted (IE, teen) pregnancy, and a marely disregard for the fear of STD's.
>>
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>>32513787
>>Double hoof holding and kissing
TOO LEWD
>>
>>32513801
>Fish vagoo
I can't argue with that.
>>
>>32513704
I’ve maintained a favorite number for 27 years.
Future me knows.
>>
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>>32513843
They are. But me & you; we know, man.
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>>32513787
Don't kiss her, Anon! She'll get pregnant!
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>>32513917
>tfw cooties are real in Equestria
Some mares have gone years without a hug, because then the cooties would spread.
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>>32513914
is it 8008?
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>>32513677
>Anon needs human contact
>needs
ha ha no
where do you think we are?
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>>32513762
squirting is pretty top shelf too
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>>32514001
Everyone needs human contact, even if a lot of us don't like it.
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>>32514012
>like
i like it just fine
we just don't get any, so its clearly not necessary, especially when you will have your hands and lap full of poner to cuddle
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>>32514012
I know you think that, but, some of us don't get any and will never get any.
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>>32514019
>we
Speak for yourself, friendo. I might not be drowning in pussy, but at least I can function well enough in social environments to get my daily recommended dosage of human contact. Seriously, it's not hard.
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>>32512612
>don't marry a thot
Easier said than done. Part of the "I love her so much!" deal is that a man's higher reasoning functions literally shut down and can't evaluate things properly regarding her.
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>>32514019
>we just don't get any
What the fuck are you doing right now, Anon? Talking to yourself? Is 4chan secretly just you?
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>>32514028
I'm not talking about human contact as in actually going up to someone and talking to them. It's been scientifically proven that if someone is put into total isolation, no human contact whatsoever, that it takes a heavy toll on their mental wellbeing.
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>>32514078
That sounds like bullshit to me. It's like I'm on the huffington post and I'm reading an article on how "part of a man's brain changes when he's holding a gun", or I'm watching a cartoon where the male character floats up into the air and hearts surround him whenever his crush is around. Seriously, just don't date a piece of shit.
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>>32513288
What is your first language, and how well would you rate your command of written English?
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>>32514082
Hush, now. This sort of denial and justification is all he has.
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>>32513704
No, I do have one, perparing for the exact scenario in the post, verbatim.
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>>32514095
Those Nigerian princes realized that duping gullible rubes over email is a lost cause, so now they've moved onto places like 4chan.

>Anon gets a letter in the mail from a Zebrican princess who wants to visit him to see if he's worthy of becoming a prince
>Anon thinks this is silly bullshit and replies "sure, go ahead"
>A month or two later, a zebra shows up at his house, and Twilight confirms that she is a princess of an obscure line of Zebrican royalty
>She seems to have only taken a passing glance at a "Zebra>Pony" dictionary
>Goes into his house and refuses to leave
>Something something RGRE
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>>32514114
kek
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>>32513556
Do NOT tell us you've just been writing the story in the reply box each time. Say you have an offline copy in notepad with the whole story, at least.

Or better, use Notepad++ with a custom "greentext" language.
>>
>>32514114
Certainly wouldn't mind seeing this continued
we always need more zebras here
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>>32514114
Is she a plains zebra or a mountain zebra? There's an important distinction.
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>>32514142
It's the type that isn't a zigger.
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>>32514079
>typing and reading text on an anonymous underwater basket weaving community college seminar bulletin board
>is physical contact
???are you of the retarded???
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>>32514179
Human contact, you nig nog. Literally nowhere this comment chain is "physical contact" mentioned a single time. One of us is retarded, and it ain't me.
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>>32514172
If she's from an obscure line and not a zigger as you say, I'm thinking mountain zebra, like Zecora. My headcanon is mountain zebras are ascetics who live in relative isolation and speak in rhymes while plains zebra live and talk more like regular ponies.
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>>32514184
literally the first response here>>32514019 was:
"any of us would not care about losing those indirect human contacts, we already get very little of, when we would have so many affectionate ponies vying for our attention immediately"

you sir are the dumb
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>>32514189
Yeah, alright, mountain zebra it is.
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>>32514201
>indirect human contacts
What does that mean to you? Jesus, Anon, c'mon.
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>>32514208
nigger this >>32514079 explicitly is classifying 4chan of all things as acceptable humn contact, and this >>32514082 is not exclusively talking about physical contact
solitary confinement still has you interact with guards

let me be as explicit as possible:

Anons on this board in this thread would not go into withdrawal from human contact, (which we already have already been given so little of), when we would be placed in our preferred setting, because we would have more sentient affectionate contact than we could handle
>>
you're all idiots. fuck right off if you aren't talking about ponies being adorably sexist to anon
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>>32514228
>Being this salty
It's fine to admit you lost. >>32514179 said 'physical contact' when nobody specified anything beyond basic human interaction. I don't understand why you're so upset about this, Anon.
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>>32514228
Once again I reiterate. Complete. And. Utter. Isolation. No guards, no internet, not even a picture of another human being. And while most of us probably wouldn't mind being in Equestria and never seeing another human again interacting with ponies would be similar enough for us. But for someone whom it isn't they'd literally be driven to madness.
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>>32514228
>(which we already have already been given so little of)
Once fucking more, speak for yourself. Just because I like ponies and find the concept of reversed gender roles interesting doesn't mean I'm some kind of goblin hiding in my basement.
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>>32514258
>Once again
Ok Dude McNormal
>>
I'm going to bed, so someone else will ha E to make the new thread tonight
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>>32514268
Once MORE, thank you, not once AGAIN. I won't have you besmirch the good name of Dude McNormal by misquoting me.
>>
>>32514250
>>32514254
>>32514258

if you are getting physical contact, and social contact from ponies, then why would you go into human contact withdrawal? humans do not have a monopoly on contact

that was the fucking prompt
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>>32514279
I don't know, I just got drawn into the argument. It swept me off my feet like a deceptively deep river.

>>32514270
>ha E
Well thank christ the phone poster isn't going to make the new thread.
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>>32509011
>That pic
Stories where Anon is the "gamer grrl" are the best.
>>
New thread?
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>>32514279
Like I said, Anon may not necessarily consider contact with ponies to be the same as contact with humans.
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>>32514302
>Anon may not necessarily consider contact with ponies to be the same as contact with humans.
Why the fuck are they in this fucking thread then?
WHERE DO YOU THINK WE ARE?
THE PRIMARY FUCKING MOTIVATOR FOR THIS PLACE'S EXISTENCE IS THE WISH FULFILLMENT OF BEING IN AFFECTIONATE CONTACT WITH GODDAMN CARTOON PONIES
ITS A FUCKING RETARDED PROMPT THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE IN THIS PLACE

at least when its "a depressed anon offs himself" his depression is not given whimsy retarded validity with BS like "i miss those fucking terrible humans, even when the ponies do contact better"
the vast majority of people in this place would not shed one tear for loosing contact with the shit stain of humanity if they gained their wish
>>
NEW THREAD
>>32514341
>>32514341
>>32514341
>>
>>32514337
>the vast majority of people in this place would not shed one tear for loosing contact with the shit stain of humanity if they gained their wish
Why the fuck do you keep assuming the "vast majority" of people share your shitty disposition? I'd kill a man to get into Equestria, but while I was there I'd miss my family and my friends so much that it would hurt.
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>>32514348
the statement of "i would kill for this" and " i would regret this" is a contradiction
sort yourself out

>why assume the majority share that commonality
THE FUCKING EXPLICIT WISH FULFILLMENT OF THIS THREAD THAT EVERYONE HERE ADMITS
THE CONTENT OF THE WISH FULFILLMENT
IF WE HAD THAT IN REALITY WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE WANT IT FROM A FICTION?
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>>32513968
Not even close doppelgänger
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>>32514348
You have to *have* friends to miss them.
I would miss my family though.
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>>32514827
C'mon guys, I can't believe that you don't have one real life friend that's as fucked up as you. I live in my grandpa's basement with no job, and I still have one friend who's fucked up like me.
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>>32514368
I'm mostly here for the "fish out of water" flavoured culture shock exploration of a populated fantasy setting without any (other) humans around to mediate things.

That might be a bit of a word salad, but it's late here.
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>>32513819
Fish don't even have penis-in-vag sex. They just lay their eggs then the male fish jizzes over them.

So, fish vag smells like shit and you can't even have fun with it like you can horse vag.
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>>32514368
Not him but I lived alone in a third world shithole with no real good consistent contact for years and it's made me so socially stunted that I get tongue tied and can't look family in the eyes anymore, I can barely look their initial direction. I can't remember the last time I felt 'lonely' either. I'm staring to think it was just boredom. I'd probably be fine.

Problem is, I know being around small horses won't fix it, unless I saw them as beats of burden all the time and kept lying to myself that they'll never be 'really' sapient and that's kind of mean. I'd easily treat them as such to cope, and any horse like tendancies like knickering, getting all nosey, and grazing would ony cement it.
>>
>>32514129
He has said he can only mobile post.




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