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Welcome back to Grillpone VS. the World, where the rules are made up and your decisions don't matter.

If you care enough to want to know what's happened so far, check this shit out: https://www.anonpone.com/grillpone/

Otherwise, here's a quick synopsis: In this quest, you take the role of the titular 'grill pone': a mare named Fire Cracker who "works" at the local fast food joint, Burger Stable. (In)Famous at Burger Stable for her eccentric personality, love of cooking, and seemingly endless supply of smartassy comebacks, Fire Cracker lives a relatively simple life. But that life is about to get a lot harder and more complex...
>>
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>>32931001

Last time, Fire Cracker and pals ventured into the unknown wilderness of Erebus, following the leyline Dr. Sparkle had discovered. It led over a series of ravines and eventually terminated at a rock wall with a previously invisible hole it it. Fire Cracker's Plot Key fit into the hole and acted something like the combination dial of a safe. After cracking the code, the three ponies (well, two and one changeling) were granted entrance to a glowing white void, at the center of which was a narrow path that led to some kind of... machine? The Plot Key opened a portal at the center of the gatelike structure, which led Fire Cracker and Drone (but not Twilight) to Ponyville.

This Ponyville is really strange, though. There's pony-themed mechas and bipedal steroid farmponies running around. And one of them is really Goddamn mad about something.


>Inventory: Cupcakes (6), Root Beer (3), Flashlight (1), Scythe (1), Survival Kit (1), Plot Key (1), Phone (1), Apple Potion (1), Rope (10 ft) (1), Frying Pan (1), Hoofful of Grass (1)
>Bits: 1
>HP: 40/86
>Status: Scared

>Drone's Inventory: Colored Pencils (8), Rubber Ducky (1), Honey? Jar (1), Lemon(1)
>Drone's Bits: 26
>Drone's HP: 46/50
>Drone's Status: Failed his charisma check


This is where this trainwreck continues.
>>
>>32931021
I see tracks, but no trainwreck.
>>
>>32931021
Please don't.
Keep on not being killed by a horse with two thumbs up.
>>
>>32931021
Hey, what does the apple potion do? Let's use that, or give it to her, whichever one is the right answer.
>>
>>32931021
Talk about how great apples are and all the food you can make with them, like apple tart apple pie ect ect.
>>
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>>32931023
>>32931092
>>32931101
>>32931172

The trainwreck's about 5 screens over. You saw it already.

Anyway, rather than answering the incredibly angry orange horse's questions, you decide to do nothing, then have a drink of your apple potion. You regained 10 HP!

>HP: 50/86
>APPLE POTION removed from inventory.

This incredibly passive approach is interpreted as disrespectful by the... uh, 'Super' Applejack before you - she thinks you're ignoring her. And you already tried flattery, which just made her madder, so... yeah. GG, my dude.


https://youtu.be/vlOsP4N8iso


1/2
>>
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>>32931191

2/2


...

...

Good thing you had that potion, huh?

...

Well, uh...

Maybe Drone will have better luck.


>7/86 HP
>>
>>32931219
Eat a cupcake and then be honest with Applejack. Might calm her down a bit.
>>
>>32931247
>>32931219
If that doesn't work, squirt lemon juice in her eye.
>>
>>32931219
Alright this applejack is clearly deranged, maybe we can use that. Turn into an apple tree to hide.
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>>32931219
She's so cute when she's fried. Is it a part of her special talent?
Anyways, tell Applejack that we surrender and please stop beating us. She mentioned a town, is there a hospital in it?
>>
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>>32931247
>>32931320
>>32931461

Nigga that pegasus is out cold. The only thing she's eating right now is dirt.

Realizing he's alone, Drone summons all his bravery and... pussies out. He cries like a bitch, spilling his guts and hoping against hope that this orange juggernaut believes him.


The Element of Honesty does.
>>
>>32931505
Well bringing her to a hospital would be a start.
>>
>>32931505
That's nice of you, thanks. I suppose we'll want to try and reseat Fire Cracker's casts, or maybe let the local doctors have fun with that.
>>
>>32931505
Yeah, maybe. At her discretion. Do we control Drone? Check how's Cracker, apply disturbing bug first aid.
>>
>>32931505
Crisis averted, I guess. Ask Applejack if she'd be willing to take us to the closest hospital.
>>
>>32931505
>>32931544
>>32931662
Hospital sounds like a good idea but also complicated, steroid jack looks like she should have access to some magic potions or something.

>>32931505
I like the way you think, bug goo solves a lot of problems.
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>>32931544
>>32931554
>>32931565
>>32931662
>>32931688

Oh hey.

That's a convenient way to circumvent more boring hospital scenes that don't add anything to the barely-extant story!
>>
>>32931723
Thank her and take the apple thingy. Also that description seems to fit pretty well.
>>
>>32931723
Thanks, thought so, also it's important to avoid doctors whenever possible.

So.. Yea that was definitely her, she was all messed up. Thank her for the magic apple and for not beating us into bug paste.

We'll have to feed Cracker that apple, if she can't chew it, just process it like mother bugs do and feed it to her
>>
>>32931723
That sound like that robot twilight.
Go feed the pega the apple and thank the orange mare.
>>
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>>32931737
>>32931747
>>32931763

Well, as horribly as you fucked that up at first, it looks like everything worked out. But Fire Cracker is only barely alive; she ain't going to be eating that whole apple anytime soon; it's not a tiny Senzu bean or something.

>GOLDEN APPLE added to Drone's inventory!
>>
>>32931870
Hmm, can we revive her, maybe with the survival kit? If we get her awake long enough to swallow, we can try feeding her a piece of the apple.

I guess that just leaves dragging her almost corpse back to the portal, hopefully the portal is back, man i don't know, what's up with that bush, can we do something with the bush?
>>
>>32931870
Uh, feed her a drop of bug honey first maybe? Also can we maybe move off the rails, so we are beside them and not on them?
>>
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>>32931914

Boy this is a 2-D plane. You think you can just move off those tracks on a nonexistent axis- oh hey you did it.

And the honey is for status ailments, remember? I don't think being unconscious counts as one of those.
>>
Sopping for the night. Thanks for playing!
>>
>>32932276
Time to carry her on our back as we head to town.
>>
>>32932276
Maybe we can have a root beer and call someone to pick us up.
>>
>>32932276
Poke em on the nose. Don't know when you'll get a chance like this again.
>>
>>32932276
Much better. Do check the survival kit for smelling salt or something like that.
>>
So it's like a really gay clipshow of previous Pony Quests?
>>
>>32932276
Boop Fire Cracker to see if it'll wake her up. If not, do this. >>32934332
>>
>>32935266
Yes but this time the Pony Quests try to kill Inept.
>>
>>32932276
Drone use dig to either teleport to the nearest hospital or just get out of the way of the train then use buggle snuggle to coax Firecracker out of her trauma induced nap!
>>
>>32935482
We've already gotten out of the way of the train.
>>
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>>32933169
>>32933708
>>32934332
>>32935330
>>32935482

You could at least wait for her to be dead before you start hoof-molesting and looting her body, you callous assholes.

Drone doesn't have a phone, and Fire Cracker's is password-protected. Even if it wasn't, you think you're getting reception in a parallel universe? Fire Cracker can't even get a signal in the woods 200 feet behind her house!

The boop makes Fire Cracker twitch, but otherwise she doesn't respond. Maybe a little looting will work better...?

Her survival kit is an Altoids tin, spraypainted a hideous pink and covered with stickers. Two rubber bands are wrapped around it; sliding them off causes the tin to pop open, countless small items pouring out of it:

>1 lighter
>1 pocketknife; contains a knife, scissors, keychain, file, flathead screwdriver, and can opener
>1 keychain flashlight
>1 128GB flash drive
>1 pencil; sharpened down to the eraser
>10 sticky note page markers
>3 sanitizing towelettes; individually wrapped
>2 bandages
>1 micro pill case; contains 1 extra-strength painkiller, 1 multivitamin, and 1 charcoal filtration tablet
>6 strike-anywhere matches
>1 whistle
>1 pony-sized mylar blanket
>6 ft. of duct tape; rolled into a tube
>12 ft. of dental floss; rolled into a loop
>1 $100 bill
>1 needle
>1 paperclip


There's also usually a fish hook, but it got tossed into a different dimension. Press F, as in 'Fish,' to pay respects.
>>
>>32938388
Cut off a peice of the Golden Apple with Fire Cracker's knife and force feed it to her. Being extra careful not to make her choke.
>>
>>32938388
take the charcoal tablet and sanitize it with the towelette
then you need to grind it into a fine powder before injecting it with the needle
finally you need to wrap the needle to the injection site with the bandages to allow for a slow release
>>
>>32938388
>individually wrapped
Surprisingly adorable.
She may have troubles with swallowing. >>32938425 will work better if the apple is mushed or chewed. Diluted suspension is even better, don't we have any water? As the last resort we can try to improvise an enema.
>>
>>32938469
Why.
>>
>>32938531
To heal her. What the fuck else for?
>>
>>32938388
F
>>
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>>32938469
>>32938545

A SEWING needle, dude. You ain't fitting a syringe into an Altoids tin. Trust me, I've tried.

>>32938425
>>32938510
>>32938531

Oh hey, that actually did something. It's not much, but, y'know, it's a start.

>8/86 HP
>>
>>32938388
Blow the whistle right at her ears.
>>
>>32938593
Pack everything back up and then try carrying Fire Cracker into town. If she's too heavy, put her on the blanket and drag her into town instead.
>>
>>32938593
How much of the apple is spent? Can't we just keep doing this shit until she's completely healed?
>>
>>32938593
What's to the left?
>>
>>32938593
Pack everything back up (or put it in your inventory if you can't fit it in the tin again) and take it.
>>
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>>32938596
>>32938609
>>32938631

The whistle made her deaf in that ear. She's still unconscious, but guess what? Being unconscious doesn't stop the laws of physics from making sound waves cause vibrations in your tympanic membrane.

>Status affect: Deaf (Perception lowered, focus lowered, speech skills more likely to fail)

Good job, shithead.

>>32938609
>>32938631
>>32938654
>>32938702

Drone can't figure out how to pack all that garbage back into the Altoids tin. All he can do is bunch it all together while he tries to get Fire Cracker to wake up. One slow, boring process of cutting and feeding tiny pieces to her later, and she finally regains consciousness.

>28/86 HP

Control now shifts back to her. Where to next? To the east is that wrecked train and the railroad to Canterlot; to the west is a shrub and, about a mile beyond that, a town.
>>
>>32938593
Continue to feed the Firecracker as you begin to think of her more and more as a pet rather than a friend. A pet that needs brushing and walkies and periodic treats for good behavior!..

>>32938738
Aww dang. Anyway, back to business.
Go to canterlot I guess.
>>
>>32938738
Town so we don't have to climb
>>
>>32938738
Thank him for saving our life. Put things back into the box. Go to the nearest town and look for a friendly face.
Is our face burned completely or it's just hair? Now bad are our nose and eyes?
>>
>>32938738
To ponyville.
>>
>>32938738
>Status effect
Does that mean the honey works now? Because unless you need to eat all of it that seems like a good opportunity to eat some.
Pack your shit back together and stow it, then continue towards the town. We originally saw Ponyville in the portal, so maybe we'll be able to find a portal there.
>>
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>>32938772
>>32938789
>>32938795
>>32938821

One rushed off-screen explanation and boring cleanup later...

The good news is that the honey is effective at curing Fire Cracker's deafness. The bad news is that the jar is small; it took half its contents to do so.

>Fire Cracker's status returned to normal.

>Drone's JAR OF HONEY(?) is now a HALF-EMPTY JAR OF HONEY
>Drone's GOLDEN APPLE is now PARTLY-EATEN GOLDEN APPLE

After getting their stuff together (and a quick 'Thank you.' to Drone), the two ponies continue on their way. Fire Cracker has suffered no lasting physical damage.
Mentally, on the other hand...
Okay on second thought, maybe a teensy bit more Drone-ing would be helpful.

Or you could just make the bitch keep moving, whatevs.
>>
>>32938981
Drone give Firecracker a hug

Firecracker, realize you already died twice on this journey so it's all good.
>>
>>32938981
Time for a bit of wound-licking. Sit down, inspect your body, clean your face (that is just some singed fur, right?) and take a deep breath.
>>
>>32938981
Sit down and cry until the jar is half-full or at least until you're bored, why not. Make a mental note to show eyes to a doctor when it's all over anyway.
>>
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>>32939011

Deaths are resets. They only happen to you, not her.

>>32939036
>>32939065

Hugging Fire Cracker is usually a bad idea when you're a guy, but luckily Drone is girly enough to not set off Fire Cracker's alarm bells.

Not right now, at least.

She doesn't return the hug, but she doesn't actively resist, either. Eventually, she even leans into it.

She doesn't cry though. She's not that kind of bitch.

At least not in public.
>>
Need to stop here and go do stuff. Thanks for playing, guys!
>>
>>32939090
>luckily Drone is girly enough to not set off Fire Cracker's alarm bells
I thought it was because of the multiple fractured bones.
>>
>>32939090
It's gonna be fine, or not, probs not. But you'll be able to get some privacy in Ponyville, and if for some reason we, players, count as a public too, you'll just shove a timeskip down our throats again. How great is that?
>>
>>32939090
Hey we also don't belong here, but we need to find a way back to twilight and complaining is not going to help us.
>>
>>32939090
You're here because instead of cowering in fear, you set out to fix a hole in the sky that may be threatening your home. You and your party sustained multiple injuries, but you still powered through. You made the king of hell laugh and made some significant headway in solving part of the problem that your new scientist acquaintance spent years researching. Burger joint notwithstanding, you definitely have something.
Although if you really have the plot key in your inventory again, I might know why the portal is closed again. Which would suck.
>>
>>32939090
Firecracker is literally the chosen one in this case. She's one of a few that can enter all the portals. A trait only shared by the party of friends she dragged along I might add. She is the one given the plot device... I mean key. And the goddess of random numbers rang her doorbell and basically said, "you fix it!" So, no, you can't say you don't belong here because every bit of evidence there is doesn't support it.

Also, should Firecracker know that she QM'd these quests or is she supposed to not recognize shit?
>>
>>32939777
>spoiler
I'm not sure how many levels of meta we are on, I've been wondering for a while, too.
>>
>>32939777
I'm almost sure that she's not deranged enough to try to become a malevolent god of the real world on purpose, but, you know, what she doesn't know won't hurt us all.
>>
>>32939090
Inspect that black orb. I'm getting weird vibes from it.
>>
So, after looking through PQ1 briefly I've come to the conclusion that it may be possible to combine with other ponies. This may be a necessary feat depending on the upcoming circumstances we may encounter.
>>
>>32942319
I don't think that'd be a good idea. Should be a last resort at best.
>>
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>>32943096
I didn't mean now. We'll wait for something powerful trying to kill us. Besides don't you believe in Firecracker and her own inner power? Can't she rely on you to be the one to believe in her?
>>
>>32943511
She can also no I still haven't watched Inept's favourite animu, heathen that I am, but I'm concerned about separating again.
>>
>>32939090
It feels like you've placed yourself in your own deranged little world sometimes doesn't it? But instead of the fantasy land you had first designed, it's become a suffocating escape from a reality you don't even understand anymore. All you know is that the walls have become closer and closer, and the exits have been welled up tighter and tighter, until one day you realize that screaming is your only hope, but don't have energy left to make a sound, and who would hear?

Well don't feel that way silly! You've got a bug friend now, and lots of others you can't even see or will ever know about will always appreciate what you've done for them.

Now let's give Firecracker another hug and get going before Drone has to get even gayer.
>>
BEEP BOOP!
>>
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As of today, I think that life is finally starting to not suck for me again. I'll be here to run tomorrow.
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>>32945639
BEGONE BOT!
>>
>>32946759
Take your time, Inept.
>>
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>>32948525
Bath?





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