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Previous Thread: >>33017173

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Gonna steal yo gurl
Oh yeah you catty bitch, I will slap the perfume on your face so hard fire will erupt from it!
Someone screencap those two parts of that sunset lewd from last thread, that was some good shit.
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Old thread's dead, so now we can get down to business
First to declare first for best pony
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>best pony
That's where you're wrong, kiddo
Ill do it if you want me to, but a bit later. Feeling sleepy now, maybe in few hours. That lewd was nice.
Interesting that you would post an unrelated image like that.
>so now we can get down to business
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I want to marry this pony then fuck her silly on our wedding night
Since the society in that movie is the literal definition of a patriarchy I can see poni getting very confused upon first viewing
Bless you anon. I would but on mobile at work and I'd rather avoid promotions
>Mulan, RGREdition
>The Yak horde has declared war on Equestria, and all able-bodied mares are being called to arms
>Including (you)r waifu
>But you had a taste for MILFs when you met her ten years ago, and now you're not sure she'll survive on the front lines
>So, naturally, you slap some waterballoons on your chest and report for duty
>transvestite fetishism
Declare yourself a girls cause we have nips and they'll never think twice.
Bulge they say? No, that's just puffy vag from fucking so many juicy stallions.
Woe is you for you're infertile, and perfect cannon fodder.
It's a joke Anon, calm your tits and sit down
I wrote this for an interactive story on writing.com
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Yeah anon, why did you post such a completely and utterly unrelated image?
>Anon works as a barista at hoofbucks
>He has to deal with basic colts and onions goils all day
>His boss is 10/10 big flanked mommy gf material
>Problem is she's gay
>Okay she's bi-curious
We are in RGRE, yes? Anon only has to bring her flowers, chocolate and all the regular stuff human females like, then bring her on a few dates. She will break.
I can see a hint of something there. Bossmare assumed shes lez because the colt or stallion she'd been with in the past only gave her a pitty date.

eh, IDK. I like the idea of Anon working in Equestria's version of Starbucks.
I admit I do enjoy fluffy Starlight/Anon greens.
>boss gave up on stallions after a few bad experiences
>claims she's gay now (or gayer than usual for an RGRE mare), but hasn't actually sought out an explicitly lesbo relationship
>the most she got was a few months in a batchelorette herd before pretty much shitting the bed in front of their first prospective stallion
>ended up ruining the date, along with the other batchelorettes' chances with that particular stallion
>left the herd in shame after that
>time passes, and she has to fight with herself to not get her hopes up when you start to show interest
>she's probably imagining it, anyway
Friendzone a mare
Show that you care, eat out a mare
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this pic disagrees
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>her face when estrus season comes around
>her face when dozens if not hundreds of mare up their flirting game to try and get in your pants
>not only do they slap you on the ass but also nuzzle your crotch
>not to mention they all talk about how they want some of your "coffee creamer" without any shame
>her face when you shoot them all down expertly
>her face when you offer to stay behind after closing to help clean up the extra stains on the floor that are common this kind of year
>her face when after the doors are locked up, you start flirting with her in the same unabashed way those mare did with you earlier
>her face when you two go back and forth with the flirting
>her face when her face is pressed into the coffee table she's bent over as you plow her to finally extinguish the heat that's been killing her all day
Oh! Ok, I'm liking that. What if the perspective is mainly told through Bossmare's POV. Could also make Anon aware of; if not used to RGRE. Thinks giving her hints the way a stallion would is the way to express interest since being a 'janefilly' scared away other mares he was interested in.
Mix in a couple of oblivious moments shenanigans for each side and BAM! Comfy RomCom green.
Here you go, enjoy.
Not that Anon but I tithe thee a (you) in thanks.
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I don't know Anon, once she has heart eyes it's already too late.
Even though she's riding her cock she still likes mares though, and she's had her eye on this little unicorn that occasionally comes in to order a mocha cappuccino for a while now. She's conflicted with whether she should ask her out because she doesn't want to ruin the relationship with you
It's not rape if they have hearts in their eyes. True fact
If a mare looks at you like this, your only options are to shoot her down and probably break her trust for males, or to put a foal in her and live in a whirlwind romance
Water balloons, not tiny sand bags?
Based anon. Papa bless
Thanks for keeping this jewel.
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>Sex toy creativity and attitude towards are flipped in RGRE
>Dildos are simple and don't even have vibration crystals, unless you want to pay through the muzzle for one
>Meanwhile, cock-sleeves are actually more than a slab of silicone; they have distinct textures, vibration crystals, and all sorts of features
>They also sell way more cock-sleeves than they do dildos
>While it's sort of expected for a stallion to own a few cock-sleeves, it's considered shameful for a mare to own a dildo (partially because it's seen as a sign that she can't get sex and has to resort to masturbation)
>Cue Anon's waifu, fresh into her relationship with Anon, being incredibly embarrassed when he nudges her bed and a dildo pops out from in between the mattresses
>Pick up dildo.
>Crush it in hand until the silicone ruptures/plastic breaks.
>Look waifu right in the eye.
"You won't need one of these ever again.
>Rail her until she can't walk, even if you end up with a case of numb dick.
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>tfw you are Anon and you are now fucking TWO mares
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Why indeed? An OGR guy is more or less a mare in a stallion's body. I figure lesbian mares would be at least intensely curious about you.
So herding?
Why dress it up as some sort of conflict when it just... isn't?
Uncertainty is its own inner conflict.
>"Herding seems so weird to me"
"How come?"
>"Where i'm from it's just two people per relationship, outside of weird fetish stuff or one-off group sex."
All it takes is one-offhand comment about herding to make her worry about his reaction.
Would Twilight write off a bunch of the stuff Anon tells her about the Earth as 'coltish whimsy'?
She wouldn't necessarily believe him without proof (which he cannot provide because he doesn't know shit), but would note it all down regardless, because thats just how she rolls.
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There's no if about it.
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>>Anon works as a barista at hoofbucks
Imagine trying to take Celestia's order every day
>"hi, is this the place where all the hot colts are mingling?"
>"... miss, what's your order"
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How would Anon deal with having a secret agent wife?
All I can think is that there would be a lot of role play.
"Do you expect me to talk Anon?"
>"No Ms Sweetie Drops, I expect you to cum"
Sweetie Drops alias "Bon Bon" is a very troubled individual. She lost many good friends back in her monster hunting days, and is so paranoid that a beasties gonna break in and harm her or her new hubby she takes a gun to sleep every night. Don't ask how she can use it without any thumbs to pull the trigger
[Secret Agent Mare plays in the background]
>any thumbs to pull the trigger
Forget her, how do YOU do that, anon?
By holding it like a glitched character model would
>asks for a new thread to post his story
>10 hours pass
>still no story
Stallions, amirite?
No work ethic at all
By pointing it directly between his eyes.
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>Not getting your own gun(s) and gitting gud so your waifu can rest easy
Smh desu
>something something Anon's workplace sells coffee cakes
>something something Celestia has to hide her crush on Anon behind her cake fetish
>something something RGRE
What is that thing? Looks like the l1a1 slr, but it has a weird rear mounted sight and underrail.
It's a JLD PTR 91, a clone of the HK G3.
>Anon and his pet [talking bird species] get poofed into Griffonstone
>Bird gets turned into a griffoness
>Shenanigans ensue
>Anon and intelligent griffon waifu
>She still has habits of her birb life
>Screams into tin cups, throws her toys around, and preens Anon's hair with her beak
>Griffons blush and hide their man-griffon's eyes because hair-grooming is L-LEWD to the n-th degree
>When Anon sings she screms
>When Anon plays music she Bob's her head up and down
>She still loves stritches
>Anon touches her literally anywhere other than her head
>Former birb waifu becomes sexually stimulated
This is a strong, tough mare. She can beat up all of the other females in the world because she's totally just that strong, she's just holding back her power levels to keep from destroying the planet.

She's also not a dork. She also just reads those colty romance novels to "learn from the enemy". And she's NOT a DORK.

True fact. See? Evidence, right from the horse's mouth.
But what if he had a pet Shrike?
If anyone called this horse a dork or hurt her feelings I'd burst into the room like Jerry's cousin and kick the shit out of them, reversed gender roles or not
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>sexy sexy guns.

why must i live in commifornia.
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But you can have Sexy Guns. You just needed to register them before June 30 of this year or put a kydex wrap or something on the handle so that it's not considered a "pistol grip".
yandre griffon
You don’t pull triggers with your thumb, dipshit. lmao
Is it a Cockatiel, Raven, Crow, Parrot, Pidgeon, or something else?
Whatever you want her to be
I don't understand this. You guys mind explaining to this me why pistol grip is bad and what that thing is? Already checked google and I just got lost.
Cockatiels are like RD, energetic and silly
Ravens are smart but get a little emo sometimes
Crows like ravens but more social
Parrots are just very talkative
Pidgeons are kinda like pinkie but can actually get fat and can no longer fly
>Estrus is actually different in RGRE.
>Instead of mares going into heat, it is the stallions that are now flirtatious and wanting to get laid.
>Normally mares love sex and want it often.
>Stallions need to be heavily encouraged to have sex out of season, mainly with shopping trips or expensive dinners or shows.
>There are exceptions to this where a stallion likes sex but they are fairly rare to come by.
>Forget about having a stallion that could even satisfy a herd outside of his season though, which leads to some infighting amongst herd mates as to who gets laid.
>Anon is happy to have sex whenever and makes an effort to make his mare(s) happy in the bedroom.
>How will his mare friend react to the positive attention she gets from stallions who normally ignore her like the plague 11 months out of the year?
>Would she betray Anon for some horsecock to stroke her ego so she thinks she's hot shit?
>Mare isn't immediately aware that estrus had rolled around
>She's been getting so much dick from Anon and is so used to Anon giving her attention that it takes a few days for it to click in her mind that the stallions in town paying attention to her is significant
>Goes back home and gets fucked from behind while she and Anon watch a movie
heres hoping for a third to cap it off in the butt
just the typical hysteria over school shootings and such, the specific claim re: pistol grips was that it would make "firing from the hip easier and more accurate" so they threw it on their list of definitions for what constitutes "features of an assault weapon" alongside collapsible/adjustable buttstocks, foregrips, muzzle devices, and detachable magazines.
Having a pistol grip is just an arbitrary thing that's one of many things that's designated by CA as being part of an "Assault Weapon". It doesn't affect the general function of the firearm (see US v Miller, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Miller which gave us NFA and restrictions on full auto, short barreled rifles and such). The laws of CA DEFINE what is considered an "assault weapon" which is prohibited to own. What constitutes an "assault weapon" can be found here: https://oag.ca.gov/firearms/regs/genchar2

So, stuff like having more than 10 rounds in a mag, having a button release mag and a pistol grip/forward grip/telescoping stock/thumbhole stock, having a threaded barrel. Basically a bunch of bullshit stuff is defined as an "assault weapon" by legislators who know nothing about firearms. See "that shoulder thing that goes up" https://youtu.be/ospNRk2uM3U
Oh hey, look, people in positions of power who don't know anything about what they're talking about continue to make decisions that affect hundreds of millions. What a surprise. Next you'll tell me they believe they are objective right and everyone else is objectively wrong.
Let me tell you about how retarded the United States gun laws can be in communist states. What some states do, like California and New York, is instead of outright banning certain """assault""" guns, they will instead prohibit certain features on the gun itself in the misguided belief that somehow changing the configuration of the weapon itself will make it less effective. Outright Banning "scary assault rifles" would alienate voters in the central and soft right parts of the political spectrum, so they instead do this "boil the frog" bullshit where they ban bits and pieces little by little each year. In the instance with the pistol grip, many left-leaning politicians believe that a pistol grip over a traditional stock makes the gun deadlier. So with that, they prohibited certain rifles from possessing pistol grips. The law is very specifically worded, so you can bypass it with the handwraps. They do the same with a folding/retracting stocks, muzzle devices like brake and flash hiders, and for magazines, restricting the sale and use typically down to 10 round mags only. They also have the misguided belief that criminals will actually obey these laws rather than getting up to nefarious shit regardless, so really they just hurt law-abiding citizens.

Politicians who actively erode the rights of the people should be tried for high treason.
>Politicians who actively erode the rights of the people should be tried for high treason.

Agreed. This is why, while I don't quite like all of his rulings, I'm hoping Kavanaugh will get some 2A cases sent before him so he can strike the bad laws down. I'm also hoping someone fucks over Paul Ryan as that asshole cost everyone in the states Reciprocal Carry.
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>They also have the misguided belief that criminals will actually obey these laws rather than getting up to nefarious shit regardless, so really they just hurt law-abiding citizens.
Wait wait wait. Are you telling me that Larry the Looter won't turn in his gun if the government asks politely? A-Are you seriously trying to infer that criminals, by definition, do not obey the law?! Especially ones that restrict them?!
>believes he is objectively right and legislators are objectively wrong
>"Damn legislators believing they're objectively right and everyone else is objectively wrong!"
>They also have the misguided belief that criminals will actually obey these laws rather than getting up to nefarious shit regardless, so really they just hurt law-abiding citizens.

Why catch criminals when you can just make them.
have you not read the news? I will quote that one politician perfectly, line by line. "I believe I am objectively right and everyone else is objectively wrong." You weren't there? he said it, just like that.
Oh, sorry dude, I take it back. I didn't realize that one politician said that.
Yeah, a lot of people don't believe me when I tell them that.
Every time I think this thread can't get any shittier, it manages to exceed my expectations.
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What are ya, some sort of no funs queer?
You clearly weren't here for the ketchup fiasco.
>Shrike griffon waifu still impales prey on spikes
>When a griffoness looks at Anon she kills prey much more often and looks said griffoness in the eyes while doing it
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Ugly gun
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I prefer shotguns myself
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Griffins dont do herds right?
>Anons birb herd is keeping the neighborhood at bay
>"how the fuck am I gonna cook all this meat?"
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That's no a birb, Anon. That's a fish. A fish that probably eats birbs.
Who said she cooks what she kills? Anon just buys food for himself because he knows that his shrikfu can take care of herself
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I prefer a more elegant weapon from a more civilized time.
Other way around, anon.
The image name is very, very apt. I am absolutely triggered by that monstrosity.
>Anon comes home to Twilight yelling.
>"Did you beat up Gilda while we were away!?" Twi yells angrily.
>"Fucking legend!"
Not /v/, /k/, or /pol/. I don't understand what's offensive about this rifle.
would you mind doing this again in the "tomorrow" style?
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Flying fish are honorary birbs though, I would trust them better than any pony
Everyone else is trying to be a law abiding citizen, and then oy caome in here just asking to get arested for possession of a weapon of mass destruction. Jesus man if you want to get charged with a war crime just show up with that thing, no shots required.
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I'm fucking pissed. Don't tell me that's in BullshitFieldxXcurrentyearXx
I'll be disappointed if it is.

The trigger is setting behind the trigger guard. Making the guard fucking useless, the trigger in an awkward place, and otherwise just being a shit design that the worst manufacturers still around wouldn't be stupid enough to ever take seriously.
Yes, it is in BullshitField 5. It's supposed to be the Gewehr 43.
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If I tried getting that into the house my herd would have a heart attack and doubt their mareliness
>not taking your mares shooting with you

>Things in Equestria are pretty smol.
>The average stallion can barely, BARELY reach the bottom of your belt of they stand up straight and perk their ears to max.
>You were a zoo handler for the aviation exhibit and were the favorite handler of a fuckhuge golden eagle.
>When you get warped to RGRE, your eagle loyally follows.
>And god damn.
>She's turned into a griffin the size of an earth horse thanks to her previous huge size.
>Powered by magic and newfound intelligence, her new favorite prey is adult alpha manticores, who normally take a whole griffin hunting party to MAYBE kill.
>If any of the colorful little prey items think they can have her human, another thing is coming.
These fish never manage to eat a single birb. Try again, anon.
Single anecdotal occurrence in nature, and textbook definition of atypical.
>28% success rate
>have to beach themselves, leaving them vulnerable to literally any predatory species who might see them as a decent meal, hell, even leaving them at the mercy of tidal forces.
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You don't try to change the people you love anon
>You don't try to change the people you love anon

No, you don't. You could invite them along to share and partake in what hobbies you have.
Damn it, you beat me by about an hour.
Mares, unlike women, are actually decent, moral beings.
Cat vaginas are super small. Like only a very unfortunate man could get it in on a lioness. Scaled up to the size of a large horse, the average man would be be a snug and satisfying fit. Just throwing it out there.
The gun in that pic looks like shit.
>Just throwing it out there.
>size of a large horse
>large horse
Reel it back in and don't bring it back.
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>Be Anon
>You once had a bird
>She was a good girl
>Brought you back dead mice and didn't peck your eyes out in your sleep
>Now she's a bird-cat monster with a cunt that's at face-height with you, and she keeps making unexpected stops when you're walking directly behind her.
>She seems to think you're lovers now; all because you touched parts of her body and the internet informed you that that means you were making promises you had no intention of keeping
>She doesn't like it when the lady-horses get near you, and none of them seem to wise up that a giant four-legged half-tonne of fuck-off doesn't like it when they rear up on their widdle hind legs and try to sniff your crotch.
>If it weren't for that one time a bunch of thigh-high horses ganged up on you and succeeded in relieving you of your pants, you'd say she's a bit overprotective.
>You guess you're birdmarried now.
>Pic related: it's you, only the birb is bigger.
>Anon was almost gamgraped
What if RGREqG took place in the world of inFamous. With Rainbow Dash and the rest of the main six plus Sunset Shimmer.

>Speeding pass pedestrians and oncoming traffic, The rising star of Wonderbolt Air Force, you must be Rainbow Dash. And girl, reaching the adult life wasn't all that grand as you thought it would be. 'You're being put in the reserves Dash, you have yet to learn about coordination and most important teamwork.' And even though you're kinda of miffed about it, but at least you were badass about it and all the cute boys were swooning about your skills.
>'But now, look at yourself. You, the Rainboom, delivering packages until the Wonderbolt Session.' As she speds by buildings after buildings, getting off the bike (Heh), and then giving the packages (Double Heh) to rightful spots. 'I need a boyfriend.' As Dash groans in complete boredom as she reaches inside her bag ans saw the last package. 'Oh thank Goddess, the last one. At least nothing can go wrong now.' A huge metal sphere with a strange blue glowing hue coming off the strange item
>As she dug out and held it aloft, Dash gave snorting chuckle,"And of course, as always the last item belongs to an egghead. Better get a good hold on this or I'll be paying the insurance company to the nose" As she went to tight the sphere in both hands, the energy inside explodes. The sounds of Buildings crashing around he and the screams of people were too much for Dash, she collapses but when she wakes up she will find that her entire world will be different than ever was.
(Continue?) And that's all I've got.
Not a fan of Rainbow being the one with the Raysphere. Anon being the random mook doing delivery duty makes more sense. Rainbow being what is essentially a Blue Angles recruit wouldn't be in contact with it, if anything, she would be a Fort outside the city watching in at the weird shitshow going on.
Hey, I'd take a yuge birbcat wife if she insisted.
>cockatieliffon birbfriend is visiting and in the kitchen, having promised to show you how to make some of the uncommon tropical griffon desserts
>suddenly hear an unholy racket and go to check it out
>she's dancing around wearing a fruit hat while letting out loud trilling chirps and working a pair of maracas like Michael J. Fox on flakka
>ask her what the hell is going on
>the spots on her cheeks get a bit more rosy as she tilts her head sideways and continues dancing in a circle around you saying that she remembered you talking fondly about something from your home world called "shake and bake"


>pigeon griffon waifu is somewhat chubby
>can't quite fly, but is able to pull off the short-distance chicken hover
>some mornings when you wake up she's perched on top of you like a hen on an egg and smugly refuses to move for a while
>is constantly making innuendo-laced food jokes in public, and thinks it's particularly funny to talk about how much you like her breasts and thighs in company
my only question is is the cockatieliffon the queen of the rumba beat?
>Shrike griffon is possessive
>She knows Anon can get his own food but still catches animals and fucking impales them on spikes she makes
>She always has you take the first slice of whatever she catches
>She just eats it raw while you cook it
>Whenever you wake up she's looking over you
>The first time this happened you had asked her what she's doing
>"Shh shh shhhh. Go back to sleep Anon."
>Fluttershy hates her
>Inb4 Gilda insults borb griffon waifu
>The results vary depending on the bird that turned into a griffon
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i know its not griffin but i remembered the shrike birb pone some anon drew back when the birb pone threads were up
I like the idea but how about you do Infamous Second Son?
In that game there were multiple people with different powers, ash, neon, other shit that I can't remember
I feel like it could make for a more versatile story and could give each main character a cool power
>Raven griffon broods in edgyness and needs Anon to coax her out by taking her to horse hot topic
>Crow griffon broods with other crow griffons
Birbpone threads were nice.
>>Whenever you wake up she's looking over you
>>The first time this happened you had asked her what she's doing
>>"Shh shh shhhh. Go back to sleep Anon."
>"Your cock tastes sweeter when you're asleep."
>Pigeon waifu snidly snips that "malnourished" griffins without any meat on their bones like Gilda are probably piss poor hunters.
>Cockatiel waifu spitfires insults back as loud as a rock concert.
>Raven waifu glares and let's it slide. Gilda then suffers a few overly complicated "accidents" over the next few days.
>Crow waifu and her gang jump Gilda in an alley.
>Giant gold eagle waifu punches out Gilda right there with a bowling ball sized fist. She wakes up a week later in the hospital.
>Shrike waifu smiles and doesn't do anything. Gilda wakes up the next morning to find her house trashed, shredded animal carcasses thrown everywhere, and a spike diven into her mattress right by her neck. On the wall painted in blood is "You get one warning."
>Be Anon
>Live in haunted house without realizing it
>Ghost of a snuggle rapist mare resides in the house
>Anon, being a NEET, is both very uncomfortable and craves the snuggles immensely
>The ghost blowjob
>Woo woo
>Shrike reaction
That actually made me chuckle
>>Giant gold eagle waifu punches out Gilda right there with a bowling ball sized fist. She wakes up a week later in the hospital.
>"I don't understand, doctor. She just kept yelling about 'freedom' and started peppering me with cheeseburgers."
Gold eagle isn't the merica bird, the bald eagle is
Yo, if I was just wondering around the forest near Anon's house with Shrikebirb I'd be pretty damn spooked
Ohhhhh fuck, I needed that laugh.
Thanks for posting that.
All of this bird waifu griffon, but what about bro bot griffon?
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Don’t forget the best griffin
tfw no big tufted potoo or tawny frogmouth/serval gf
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Lucky you, Anon - you can have any superpower you want as you find yourself headed to Equestria! There’s just a slight catch, very minor - insignificant, really…

The superpower works on Worm rules… so you’ll only get it following an appropriately horrible experience that will more likely than not leave you with some mental trauma, it comes with a built-in drive towards conflict to encourage you to use it in new and exciting ways, and it’s actually a piece of a giant spacewhale connecting itself to your brain via wormholes and specially-created brain structures.

So, what’s your power, Anon?
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The power to have all powers.
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You know if you go for that you will be fucked beyond all belief
So by that logic, the power to say, instantly kill myself means I would suffer a wonderful encounter that leaves me with great memories and encourages me to never want to use that power ever?
Couldn't he just use one of the space whales powers to unfuck himself if he has all of them?
The power of self-termination is not a super power, Anon. That’s a normal power. Try again!
Of course, you could choose something like explosive teleportation…

Perhaps… if he maintains enough sense of self through the whole thing. The last person with a similar power wound up calling herself the Fairy Queen and referring to other powered individuals by Titles based on the powers they had.
Also, she had to harvest powers from other individuals, unable to just make them herself.
Oh, right, how could I forget the OTHER person who effectively had the power to have all powers? That one was actually pretty sane! Until he died, that is. Then he found himself sharing brainspace with his killer, a process which repeated with each new host’s death, such that anyone who kills the current host gains every previous host and the original all as headspace buddies.

On the upside, you get all their powers! …If at a significantly nerfed strength, of course, but you still get them.

On the downside, as the voices of previous hosts cannot take control of the body, they will effectively drive you insane as quickly as they can until you are compliant with their demands (usually taking up the mantle of boss of their gang and continuing their tendency to seek out powered individuals to kill or get killed by.)
Not to 'NOT REGREEEE ENOUGH' but how is this RGRE? Go ahead and take this over to >>32964421 they might have some fun with it.
> Worm
Yeah, no thanks.
Would these be the griffon versions of midgets/shortstacks? Eternally bullied since they're made up of two domesticated breeds instead of two alpha predators like lion/eagle?
Cockatoo griffon is a curse machine
can humans even pleasure ponies
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All unicorns have the innate ability to tell if someone is a virgin. A stallion's virginity is very highly prized amongst all unicorns to an almost religious level because of this ability. To find a virgin and "take" his purity is a sign of status and power even amongst the lower class magic users.

This is the main reason why the horn heads won't leave you the fuck alone whenever you walk outside.
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>"Anonymous? Yoo-woo! Anonymous, darling? Are you there?"
>"Ah, there you are, darling. I was worried something had happened!"
>"Oh this? Well, I just happened to be strolling through the market this morning and found this wonderful brand of soaps that I thought you'd very much enjoy."
>"They're from Saddle Arabia. From what I was told their nobility use this very product."
>"Cost? Oh don't worry about it darling. What sort of business mare would I be if a few bottles of shampoo put me in financial strain?"
>"No, no. I insist. Just follow the instructions on the bottles and I'm sure your mane will be the envy of Equestria."
>"Between you and I it's already the envy of Ponyville. Have you SEEN how some of these stallions style their manes? It's laughably silly."
>"Anon? While I have you, I'd like to bring up a concern."
>"That Lyra filly. I saw she was doing some rather... inappropriate things."
>"While I understand that you have the patience of a saint dear--it's one of the many, MANY things that I admire about you-- you may have to put your hoof down
>"There is trying to show the opposite sex one's interest and then there's making a fool of oneself."
>"Not that I expect you to have any interest in Lyra or her sort at all."
>"No, you'd want a mature mare, one that knows what a stallion wants and doesn't drape herself all over him like some silly filly."
>"A mare of impeccable taste perhaps? A generous mare?"
>"A mare that happens to make clothing for a living. A very successful living I might add?"
>"On a completely unrelated note, I find myself needing some company later today. You see, I have a reservation for a restaurant in Canterlot and I'd hate ever so much to go alone."
>"The two of us could have dinner, take in the sites... discuss some things?"
>"Yes? Oh wonderful! As luck would have it, I've been designing JUST the thing for you to wear. Come, let's be off to my boutique to check the fitting. I'd like the two of us to look our best before our outing. Though I feel like I'll need to try far harder than yourself, dear~""

Rarity is the smoothest virgin hunter. She'd have you on a date faster than you could blink.
Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....
Smooth indeed.

But of course my dear LaP.
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Well, I'M smitten.
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>WizardAnon in RGRE
>he’s been a virgin for so long that he’s on the same tier as the Princesses and freak unicorns like Twilight
>to unicorns, virgins only become more and more enticing with age
>he has to constantly fight off their advances to retain his godlike magic powers
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"Why did you need me to record this sister?"
>"Because Anon needs to get sent a message."
"Wouldn't the Royal Telegram Service work just as well? Or telling him yourself?"
>"Do you really have a problem recording this Luna?"
"I-it's just that this is so... l-lewd..."
Luna quick to recognize lewdness.
I miss them, and I miss all the writefags for it
>"This is kind of dumb."
"Oh don't be like that, Anonymous. Now be a dear and lift your arm please."
>Anonymous let out a long suffering sigh
>The big stallion was seated in the middle of your shower, naked as you were
>Water was raining down upon him, giving his pinkish skin a marvelous wet sheen
>You were standing behind him, a loofa held aloft by your magic
"Come on, you silly stallion," you said, nudging his side. "Lift that arm."
>It took a few more pokes, and another sigh from the stallion in question, but Anon eventually did lift his arm
>You immediately began scrubbing it, humming as you did so
"There we are. We'll have you shining like a diamond in no time."
>Your hips bucked gently
>You attempted to be quiet, but your hooves skidded against the shower flooring
>Thanking, the sounds of the shower masked the sound
>"Are you sure you ponies do this kind of stuff?" Anon asked, looking over his shoulder at you
>You gave him a smile
>The shower was hot enough that you were positive he wouldn't find your red face amiss
>The various shampoos and soaps that you had littered around you also masked your scent
>But not his
>Oh Celestia, nothing you had did
>It wasn't the smell of dirt or filth
>It was an exoticating aroma that left you tingling
>Better than any perfume, better than any charm that those colts in Canterlot came up with
>It took a considerable amount of willpower not to let out a less than ladylike whimper
>Leaning forward, you rested your muzzle on Anonymous shoulder, inhaling deeply
>Shame on Twilight for keeping this away from you for so long
>You were the one to reveal it to her, and there she was hogging him all to herself
>If you didn't completely understand the desire to keep this stallion very, VERY close to hoof, you'd have been furious
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I'm surprised we haven't seen this more often. Makes for some obvious wish fulfillment.
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Smooth as fucking silk
"Of course, darling. Communal bathing is very important to us ponies," you said. "Earth ponies more so that unicorns or pegasi, since their lack of appendages and magic makes cleaning their entire bodies difficult, but I can assure you that it's still done with us unicorns."
>It was only a partial lie
>Unicorns, and ponies in general, did bathe with each other regularly
>But if one were to be knit-picky they would have said that members of the opposite never bathed together, as it was seen as indecent
>Unfortunately, nopony in this bathroom of yours was to pick over details like this
>Anon looked over his shoulder at you
>You smiled at him even as you felt your marehood clench
>A shiver ran up your body as your tail twitched
>Thank goodness you were in a bath, otherwise you'd have made quite the mess of yourself...
>"Huh, well, I'll take your word for it," he said, raising his other arm so that you could clean it
>It took you a moment to do so, as you were in the middle of a particularly rigorous orgasm
>"Thanks for helping me with this whole fitting in stuff. Twi's been doing her best to help me but sometimes I kind of want to give her a couple hours to herself, you know? I don't want her to feel like she's babysitting me."
>You giggled breathlessly, allowing your eyes to cross as he looked away
>Oh there was something truly marvelous about this
>Anon wasn't touching you, he didn't even know what his scent was doing, but here you were draped over him as you came
>Again, and again, and again, and again
>A small part of you felt bad about the whole business
>A gentlemare should see to the stallion's pleasure before indulging herself, but you would take the stain upon your honor just this once
>You could return his "kindness" on a later date
>Such an undertaking would take time however
>Time and much planning
>You nuzzled Anonymous's cheek
>With another breath, the tingling was already returning
"You're very welcome, d-dear," you said. "Not lets get you finished then, shall we. Afterwards, if you're comfortable, you could give me as washing as well."
>Anon looked back again and smiled
>It was the sort of smile that made those green eyes of his light up
>A primal urge welled up in the core of your being
>To push him to the ground
>To take that cock of his--which had been teasing you all morning, hanging out as is was--into your mouth until it's girth forced your jaw apart
>Then you wanted to run him to ruin
>Ride him until your muzzle couldn't so much as twitch
>But you resisted
>Somehow, you stayed your hoof as you felt a hand give the top of your head a pat
>A little demeaning to be sure, but you weren't about to chide him for it
>"Thanks, Rare. I think I'll give that a shot," he said as you began scrubbing his back. "When we get to that though make sure to tell me if I'm scrubbing any bad places. Don't want you getting uncomfortable."
>The heat was already growing in your groin
>You silently panted, your chest heaving
"W... Worry not, darling. I'll... be sure to... t-to tell you the moment... I'm--"
>Your eyes narrowed as your lower half tensed
>Oh by Celestia's mane this colt was lucky you weren't the sort to force an issue...
More of that pheromone thing
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Keep going.
>”Grandpa! Grandpa!”
>You push off the overgrown children as best you can.
“Calm down, children! No need to tackle.”
>All the little munchkins run around and under you.
>”Thanks for taking them for the day, dad.”
>Each of your daughters say this their own way. You give the three of them kisses on the cheeks.
“It's not a problem, sweeties! The kids love coming over. Silver will be so happy when she wakes up!”
“You all go along on your day! Go on, have fun, sweeties! Go have fun in Trottingham!”
“Oh, and bring back a souvenir! I hear they have great city miniatures!”

>You close the door and trot around into the living room, where all the little children are roughhousing.
>You stroll around into the middle of them.
“How old are you little shits?”
>”13!” “15!” “14...” “18.” “18.” “17.” “24.”
>You trot your wrinkly ass over to the closet and whip it open.
>You bite down on the edge of a podium and start dragging it out.
>”Grandpa, is it story time already?”
>”Yeah, stories!

>You get the podium lined up where you can best tell stories while they lounge around the furniture.
“Of course, children! And you're all finally old enough that I can tell the most important story in our family!”
“Come around, sit down, sit down I said! Yes, go to the bathroom, grab a snack or whatever you ingrates!”
“Good. No, dammit! Don't wake your grandmother! She's tired!”
“None of your damn business why she'd tired! She ate too many cookies; there, I said it!”
“We all settled? Good. This is going to be the most important story you'll ever hear from me.”
“Yes, more than Hearthswarming...Yes, that too. Uh huh... Look, I really mean it. Yes, I'm sure.”
“Really? Just- just go whenever you need. Stop asking me. It's right there. Yes. Go!”
“Finally. Alright, pay close attention. Every detail matters, because this is the story of your great great great...”
“... great grandfather...”
“...Sir Anon Y. Mous.”

- - -

>Far long ago, in the magical land of Equestria;
>In the long ago youth of this land, the three tribes ascended to one.
>And, as if confirmed by the gods, two sisters were chosen to ascend, to exemplify the greatest of the traits of all the tribes.
>In the Castle of the Two Sisters they settled. Around them, unity and harmony grew-
“Shut UP sapphire; background into is IMPORTANT.”
>-and harmony grew in the land as Equestrians learned to live with eachother. In time, others, too, were destined to share in this.
>To fight against harmony and its coming rise, chaos shat upon the world a plethora of magic; Twisting and turning against all the worlds we overlap with.
>Some magic was thrown across existence, and when it was called hither again, it slithered in with all manner of creatures.
>Discord, magistrate of chaos, was born of this convulsion from the void.
>Others, like Slaane, the six-winged dragon was also created from this event.
>But one creature was brought here untouched. Unscathed. Unchanged.
>A creature like none other, though some claim these creatures have been here before, and linger on, hidden.
>A human.
>It was these eons ago that a legend began, alongside many others at this time.
>The human came from an unknown world, deposited here in the Ashen Valley, where dragons once resided when they became too elderly, scrawny, and wise to continue their vast greed of all things that glitter.

>When he awakened, the dragons twisted and turned around him. He grabbed his sword, but did not draw.
>With every motion he followed, over and over, until they settled, looking him over.
>It was a rare sight, you see, that anything but a dragon should be there.
>Even in their autumn age, these dragons moved swiftly to see what brave soul dared stand among them.
>He turned and looked, and they saw him, and he, they.
>And they spoke.
>”Wherefor do you stand among us? You are quite brave to plant your feat in our stead.”
>And he said nothing that was falsehood.
>”I stand here against my wishes, but even so, I will stand tall.”
>And the dragons murmured among themselves.
>”You stand with a hand on your handle.” They said. “Yet you do not draw.”
>”You are the first of all dragons I've laid eyes on, and have done nothing to draw my ire, and so, I have not drawn my sword.”
>Again, they murmured.
>They appeared to him a wise fool.
>He clearly knew of wisdom and principle, but not of the new land he has found himself in.
>For they themselves know of the infinite dangers of the world, and that dragons themselves among the deadliest.

>They asked for his nature, his name, his titles.
>”Sir Anon Y. Mous. A mere knight.”
>He gave no other titles, and they asked, “Wherefor do you have such lowly honor, as to only be known as a mere knight?”
>A lesser soul would have their pride hurt by this, but Sir Anon was forgiving, as he knew they seeked truth, rather than to hurt him.
>”My honor was left abroad, where wicked magic ripped me from. It is to my honor, and the honor of my people, I intend to return.”
>One elder dragon, older and wiser than all the rest, rose above the others, and looked down upon Sir Anon.
>”I have traveled all the lands, and have seen many peoples, but none such as yours. Would you enlighten us?”
>And so Sir Anon spoke at great-

“Shut up, Ruby. Yes it is Equestria. Yes, dragons used to be here. Yes. They moved. Because grass grew and they were allergic or something, I don't know.”
“Okay, quiet. Stop the interruptions unless it's important.”
>Sir Anon spoke at great length of his people. He spoke of lands with little magic, where people lived among the rocky shores, and sailed all the seas.
>Still, the wisest dragon insisted that no land such as that belonged there.
>Sir Anon turned and silenced himself. He wished to mourn, but could not bring himself to do so under their eyes.
>”Then I've a grand journey, ahead.” He said. At that, he finally took his hand off his sword. “Please, wise dragon, tell me of yourself and your people.”
>And so the dragon told Sir Anon of the many dragons that knew no formal nation. Of all the noteworthy, from the greatest flight to the singular nomad, he told of noble and vicious alike.
>Though wise, this dragon was also prideful, and loved to speak. He told of the many surrounding lands; The Equestrians, Griffonians, the distant Taurens and Hippogriffeths.
>He told of the many powerful mages and artifacts to be found. And of the kingdoms, and empires, and what could be found within.
>Sir Anon did listen, and asked; “Could the Two Sisters send me to my home again?”
>And the wise dragon stayed silent.
>”Thank you for your wisdom. You showed me mercy as a stranger in your land. If I should ever come back, could I expect this mercy again?”
>All the dragons agreed that they would, and Anon excused himself.

>He traveled westward, through the grounds where dragon hatchlings once ran rampant.
>Though many younglings scurried around and looked upon him, few cared to impede him through the land.
>Upon his reaching the end of this land, he was happened upon by a drake of his own stature.
>The drake, who seeked a fight, found exactly what he asked for, but not from Sir Anon....

- - -

>”Fight me, you coward!”
>This time, you hardly even look at the drake egging you on.
>You brush by him stoically once again.
>”I want a challenge! Give me a fight!”
>He charges in front of you, growling in your face, and you stop.
>You both stare at eachother for what feels like forever.
“I've no quarrel with you.”
>You walk around again and continue on.

>”You're supposed to fight me!”
“I beg to differ.”
>”You're a knight!”
“ And you're a dragon.”
>”So fight me!”
>You answer with silence.

>He moves to stop you one more time, and you do.
>”Look, please. I won't kill you if I win. I just need to impress some girls!”
>In another mood, you'd cackle at such an explanation.
>But right now, you offer a smirk at best.
“I'm on a journey to go home, drake. I've a nation to return to. Why not go fetch a more willing knight from a surrounding kingdoms?”
>”They'll leave in two days if I can't convince them to stay.”
“And this will convince them?”
“Fickle. If they stay over little, they will leave over little.”
>You move around again, nearing some wooded area, having reached the beginning of a path.

>The drake bursts up and flies, landing on the end of the path, spreading his wings and putting himself in a fearsome stance.
>You stop.
>”If you won't come and fight there, then I'll just carry your broken body to them as evidence!”
>He breaths a gout of fire to punctuate his point, charring the grass in an arc.
>You grab the handle of your sword and square off.
>If you must fight, then the least you could do is to fight well.
>He growls at you, akin to a wolf, growing louder and louder.
>He slowly steps towards you, and fire slowly leaks from within his maw.
>Now it sounds like wolves.
>Wait, it IS wolves.
>They're crawling out from the woods, probably attracted to the noise of the drake.
“You're making a mistake.”
>”No mistakes here.”
“I'm serious.” Could he not hear the danger behind him?
>”As am I.”
>You take a relaxed posture, opening your arms to him.
“Don't say I didn't warn you.”
>As he stands tall, trying to tower over you by a foot or so, the wolves jump upon him.
>He roars as they bite and chew on his wings, thrashing about in the pain.
>They tear the webbing and he falls to the ground, biting and burning them.

>You draw your sword and charge a swing, slicing the first wolf, then cutting again and again.
>A second wolf comes upon you, and you cut and stab, skewering it.
>A third, trying for the drake's neck, but unable to penetrate the scales, you stab and kick, pushing it off.
>The wolves retreat, leaving you and the now injured drake, along with the two corpses.

>You wipe the blood from your sword to the grass, then return it to your sheath.
>You look down on the drake.
“You'd do well to sear those cuts. The smell of blood attracts all sorts of wretched animals.”
>The drake seemingly can't speak, so you step around and continue on your path.
>Should you help further? Perhaps. But a blow to his pride might set him straight.

>As you carry on through the woods, you heard loud steps behind you.
>The drake catches up to you and you turn to him.
>”I... thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
>You keep moving, and he follows.
>”What's your name?”
“Sir Anon. Yours?”
“Well met, Obsidian.”
>”Why would you help me?”
“You needed it.”
>”After I threatened you?”
Will we be seeing this on FimFic soon?
>You whip around and look at the drake in the eye, speaking softly.
“You did not even scratch me, and the fairer sex drives the young to do many stupid and immoral things. You've since ceased, so you are forgiven.”
>You keep on the path as he ponders your words.
>”Well, they'll not have me without something to prove my worth.”
“What's worthwhile to a dragoness?”
>”Strength. Power. Stature.”
“All things that take a lifetime to build.”
>”Gold. Jewels.”
“If you know where to find some unclaimed, then make haste and seize them.”
“Do you feel you have honor?”
>He hesitates to answer.
>He makes no other suggestions.

>You move along the path for a while longer.

- - -

“Okay, kids. This is probably a good place to take a break. What king of cookies do you want?”
>”Raisin!” One suggests.
“What kind of flaccid cock enjoys raisin? You're getting mint chocolate and you're going to like it!”
>You trot into the kitchen and get all of your cooking supplies.
>You sure love when the grandkids come over.
>Your grumpy wife is going to be upset she didn't wake up earlier, but she's heard this story before.

>”Grandpa, what's a human?”
“It's a tall biped with no scales and little fur. They might kinda look like a monkey if you chop off the tale and make it stand straight.”
>”If he's our ancestor, then why don't we look like that?”
“Because Anon didn't make human hybrids for children.”
>”Why not?”
“Because the one drop rule exists and ponies have the stronger genes and he didn't want half-breeds anyways.”
>”How do we know we're his descendants?” Another cuts in.
“Because it's the ONLY explanation that we have canines!”
>”Coulda been a dragon...”

>You slam the countertop with your hooves.
“There's no LONGMA SHIT in MY family!”
- - -

“Okay kids. Stuff your gullet and kick back. You're going to understand why my family is the most kickass family around.”
>”You mean our family?”
“You can decide it's 'ours' when everyone in the room is alive because of your own balls.”

>Sir Anon continued on his path. Obsidian followed him blindly, at then not knowing even why he followed, except that he'd rather roam the world with a companion than alone.
>Soon, Anon was upon his first Equestrian settlement, Sour Springs.
>As he and his drake companion neared the town, he saw ponies working the fields.
>Thrice he approached a pony, and thrice they turned and hid.
>Upon the fourth pony, it was he that was approached, by one bearing a crescent hilt and starry shield.
>The brave knight stood up to the travelers, demanding to know their intentions.
>They answered true, as they've nothing to hide; They were to see the princesses and ask for help in returning the human home.
>At this, the noble mare asked for Anon's story, and she did listen.
>Moved by his words, the mare offered to protect him on his way to the Castle of the Two Sisters.
>He laughed eagerly, for he did not yet know of the dangers that laid ahead.
>He asked instead that she accompany him to the town center, to ease the timid ponies who he believes fear either him or his companion, and she did.

>Anon and company entered the town and, being an honest knight, Anon did seek honest work, as his coin was surely worthless in this new land.
>With some difficulty, he did find some blacksmith in desperate need of assistance, hammering tools for the town.
>For that day, he worked hard and earned his wages handsomely.
“No, I don't know what happened with the other two.”
“It doesn't say. They aren't mentioned again until the morning.”
“Well, it's implied they were with him at the bar, later.”
“Well, 'bar' is a bit strong of a word. It was the Church back at the time, just a part set aside for relaxing.”
“They did that to help keep mares from acting like drunkards.”

>He thanked the mare and departed to the bar, where many mares drank and sang happily.
>Anon made mentioned the perceived oddity that so many of the town were mares, himself not understanding how few stallions are born.
>There, he drank and talked with others, and traded stories for knowledge of the land. He did learn much that night.
>With the town having no inn, Anon slept on the grass beside the bar.
>Awakening at dawn, he gathered his companion and found the mare that first met him, and they thanked her, and they left.
>They walked along the western route, towards Equestria's crowning city.
>And on this route, Sir Anon met another of his many trials.
>A lone apothecary, waning on a tree...

- - -

>You approach a frail figure, leaning on a mighty oak.
“Are you well, madam?”
>You reach down and pull her hood back, and large eyes met yours.
>”I am... in need.” She explains, between huffs. “...ingredient...”
>She clutches an object from under her cloak, and presents a green glowing potion.
“What ingredient?”
>”...basilisk egg... only... one...”
>She points into the forest, and you begin walking.
“I'll only be a moment.”
>Obsidian comes with you, more content with the prospect of a kill than staying with the mare.
>You move deeper into the forest, searching for the beast, or its nest.
>”Why do you do wish to help the mare?”
“Because she is in need.”
>”She need not be your concern.”
“Need? No, of course not. But I am able, so I make it my concern.”
>”You did not concern yourself with me yesterday.”
“Impressing a girl is not a matter of life and death.”
>”Concerning establishing a lineage, it could be considered just as such.”
“You're young. You'll find a girl.”
>”Any as good as I find her?”
“If you were so enamored with her as to find all others lacking, you'd have stayed anyways when you were pounced by wolves.”
>Obsidian huffs and follows closely.

>You look and see a statue of a pegasus, rearing up and wings extended.
>Along the base is a pile of eggs, each the size of two fists pressed together.
>You both ease up to the eggs, watchful of the area around.
>There appears to be no creatures nearby, so you take up an egg, keeping the other hand on your sword.
>Obsidian grabs seemingly as many as he can hold, wrapping them in the leather of his wing.

>Suddenly, a screech lets out and you yank on your sword.
>You swirl around and lash out, keeping your eyes on the ground.
>You miss, and barely dodge a bite from the creature.
>Obsidian spits fire and torches the basilisk.
>It screeches as it thrashes about, and you charge with a stab, piercing the chest.
>You both stand back as it whips around and smashes against a tree.
>The cries of pain dies down, and Obsidian holds out his claw.
>”Mind lending your sword?”
>You hand it over and watch as he guts the beast.
>He severs some of the ribs, pulls out the heart, and finally cuts the tail.
>He hands you back your sword, and you immediately get to wiping the blood into the grass.
>”A bountiful meal, wouldn't you say?”
>You chuckle.
“Quite a stomach you must have, Obsidian. Let's not delay, though.”
>”Very well.”
>He breaks off a rib and gently chews as you both walk it back to the mare.

>A mere few minutes and you both make it back to the mare. She's upright against the tree, staring at the vial in her hoof. Her bright pink form is practically rigid.
>You kneel down next to her and show her the egg in your hand.
>She grabs it, cracking a little of the top and pouring some of the white in.
>She closes the vial and shakes vigorously. It glows for a second, then settles on a dull green color.
>”Your just reward!”
>She splashes some of the potion on you, then obsidian.
>You shift back and wipe it off, preparing for a fight.
“For what reas...”
>You look around. You look behind the tree. Through the woods. Up in the canopy. All around.
>She's gone?
>There's no trace of her.
>”Where did that little rat run off to?”
>You shrug.
>He groans. “Never shoulda stopped for some damn potion maker.” He wipes off some of the potion with his elbow. “It reeks of soured milk.”
“It is what it is. Come. Lets find a river.”

- - -

>They searched along the path for any source of water, and found an overflowing spring.
>At midday they bathed themselves, but the stench of the potion did not fade. They could not remove it by any means.
>Obsidian ever bathed himself in flame, and it did not work.
>They forsook further attempts and cooked and ate heartily.
>When the afternoon had come, they prepared again and walked along the original path.
>Obsidian, still gluttonously consuming what was left of the meat and eggs and bones, taught Sir Anon of the many dangers that made homes in woods such as they traveled.
>This continued until sunset, when they happened upon three children running for their lives.
>Behind them, a mighty bulwark hog chased. The beast was twice the height of Obsidian, bearing a vicious anger, and scorched on some of the fur.
>The children cowered behind the knight and the dragon, who both prepared themselves for terrible battle.
>The hog eased the chase and halted some distance away.
>It approached, and then retreated several times, until it eventually retreated.
>The children thanked them, for they recognized the stench of the repulsive potion, and knew it for its use against beasts.
>Upon asking, the children guided them to the nearby town of Perish, said to be tailored to the edge of the Chasm of Infinite Depth.

“Depth, not death. That one comes in later and it's in a totally different place. Try not to confuse them.”
“No, Perish isn't around anymore. We're pretty sure it fell in.”
“No, nopony died. Everypony just lost their homes, livelihoods, and property. I'm sure everypony had a wonderful time singing campfire songs back to Mare-Idian.”
>Twilight needed Starlight to keep her from raping Anon only to rub herself raw on his dirty clothes
>Starlight jacked off on Anon's bed
>Rarity was alone with a naked Anon and held herself back by will alone
Rarity 1 - Twilight & Starlight 0
“Mare-Idian was the closest city to the Castle of the Two Sisters. No one built anything close to their gods back them because everyone revered them too much. Wanted to give them space or something.”
“It's out on the coast.”
“Yes it's still here. Why wouldn't it be?”
“You never heard of it cause they're weirdos that STILL refuse to make a train station like us normal folk.”
“Something stupid about magnets, I don't remember.”
“Ahem. Anyways...”

>They happened upon the town and looked for an inn.
>The children they sheltered had first made them a potion to remove the stench, then they showed the town to them.
>They paid with what little money they had left and stayed through the night.
>During this time Anon continued to learn of the land.
>He learned the path to the Castle of the Two Sisters was through Mare-Idian, which could be reached by the river, then down the River of Carving Stone, then upon the top of the Chasm of Carved Stone.

“We call it something different now, but that's where the Everfree Forest ends at a cliff and drops down to the river near sea level.”

>He also learned of Equestrians themselves. He learned of the companionship and harmony that filled the land, and of the many things particular to Equestrians.
>He learned of the strict matriarchy of the land, contrast to the patriarchy that dominated his own.
>He learned of the near isolation of Equestria, as few members of any species roam or extend far beyond their brethren. Barring dragons, of course.
>He learned of the griffon nation in the distance; Though it was far out of his journey's way, he did enjoy those tales the most.
>And so the night passed, and they both woke in the morning.
>The children found them and said farewell, giving some trinkets as thanks.
>And so they left the town, following along the river towards the sea.

- - -

“That seems to be a good place to stop for now. Has anyone had lunch yet?”
>”It's ten A.M.”
“Brunch, then.”
>”I'm hungry!”
>”Me too!”
>”Did I hear food?” Your wife asks.
>You whip around and hug Silver, her straight gray hair covering half her face.
“Pancake sandwiches it is, then.”

>You hop around your podium and go into the kitchen, breaking out all the fixin's you'll need.
>Jade, your favorite little pegasus, comes up next to you and begins helping.
>You kiss her on the forehead.
“Thank you, sweetie.”
>She just smiles and bolts around. Getting everything you need as she can.
>”Hey grampa?”
”Hey gramdaughter?”
>”If Obsidian wanted to fight something to impress girls, why didn't he bring back the basilisk tail and say he killed it?”
“Dragons don't consider hunting to be the same as battle. Also, knights back then were well trained killers, and were a threat, even to creatures thrice their size.”
>”So they didn't see a basilisk as a challenge?”
“I doubt it. Basilisks are big and nasty, but still just animals. Dragons believe there's more honor in defeating conscious, thinking enemies than mere vermin.”
>”I don't get it.”
“Neither do other ponies, sweetie. It's odd and negative and has no place in civilized society. That's why dragons are lonely assholes.”
>”What about Spike?”
“Except him. He's nice.”
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Fucked up the replies a little.
Posting under pseudonym to protect my precious, fragile ego test this idea. Is the style interesting, or shit and confusing?
>>”Grandpa! Grandpa!”
Well, MY first thought (due the the scarcity of Anon being grandfather-age) was "foal from the future going back in time to make sure Anon doesn't die from his pelvis shattering due to too much sex" or something.
Honestly, yet another storytime about the legendary ye old Anon made me skim, the drake trying to impress lady dragons made me skip the entire thing.
Loving this grandpa you're writing, content is a bit stale at this point as others mentioned but the style itself is nice.
You missed lines like
>“You can decide it's 'ours' when everyone in the room is alive because of your own balls.”
Omitting the questions that prompt the response aren't always working out well in the narrative. I'd strongly recommend seeing if the story flows better adding them back in. As an introduction, it seems somewhat long winded.
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A man can only be this hard, LaP.
I'm enjoying it, I'd love to see where this is going.
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>tfw you will never slam Rarararara's marshmallow ass
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Hey guys, couldn't visit since 2017
do you recommend any green to catch up?
pls help an anon
>implying surprise buttsex
Two things, Anon. 1) a lady is prepared for any "surprise". 2) no straight mare doesn't like anal sex.
that pic has some good taste, though I can't say the same for the game it (probably) comes from
and as for stories, there's this one with Trixie and Starlight that people apparently like that's still alive

Does LaP has a fimfic account? Since when? I'm not opposed of this new development, it's of their own choice but at least it's something besides here on The RGRE threads and pastebin.
For a long time.
Lots of his stuff gets cleaned up and added to fimfic. And I am looking forward to this story being added.
>mares can tell when another mare has successfully gotten anal sex just by examining their ponuts
>surprisingly this is not considered dyke-ish
>if a mare boasts about convincing her coltfriend to give it to her in the butt, her friends will often express skepticism and ask to see her ponut
>"Earth ponies more so that unicorns or pegasi,
than*. I love Rarity is just a hentai protag
I like your prose style, it's fresh sigh for a reading process, like, really. Also like how grandpa calls his grandkids as "little shits". Sure hi's inherit a lot from Anon.

The only thing I can't realize in which place it's an RGR, but whatever. Story seems to be great.
I'm really liking the style, keep going! Obsidian and Anon banter is entertaining
It seems that it is in that there's more females in the society and the mare knight being a thing
He also said that it's a strict matriarchy as well
You know, if you want to persuade me in something - show, don't "tell". But whatever, maybe there will be more of RGR later.
>Baby Anon is found by two married noble griffons
>They adopt him
>He grows up with his birb sisters
>Something something tsundere Gilda or whatever
"T-those aren't mine, I swear!"
>Rarity makes you panties/ball bras because stallion
>only to steal and wear them herself
Rarara has a bunch of panties that she wears just for you. She knows they're really colty, and if her friends ever saw her wearing them she'd get no end of shit, but the way you pitch a tent whenever she walks around the house in any of her pieces is more than worse the hassle.
>Ancient humans fucked evolution in the ass by inventing "magic"
>Magic was then used to skull fuck evolution by creating the new races from human mythology
>Humans fucked up the planet beyong human hospitality and fled for the stqrs
>Magic fixed what they though was FUBAR
>the everfree is what's left of the disaster that drove humanity away
>Most sentient races have legends of humans as Gods or something similar
>In comes Anon
Was playing Nier and thought of this. I'm fairly sure this prompt is shit though
Its not shit just kind of stale at this point unless anon is a preliminary environmental surveyor for this future race of humans and he's surprised that things just sort of worked themselves out.
That sounds neat! Anon could have been sent out to see if earth was habitable for human life, he crashes due to the abundance of space debris and lands in some country. He would see the thriving cultures there and know that if humanity came back they would crush them to reclaim earth and have to choose between his race, or the many new and young ones
or humanity could have gone star trek and become better, and would be conflicted about the prime directive. after all, this is their homeworld, but it's also a number of other, pre-warp species homeworld.
>Humanity becoming better
How much of humanity though?
Personally I'd really like Anon to find ancient human tech and being the only one able to use it since it only activates for humans.
>Captain's Log 1280
>Earth was our home... once upon a time.
>Such a silly little phrase that old mother goose would tell our children, now a reminder of what we lost by our own fault.
>It has been twenty four thousand years since we took what mother nature had given us and used them to destroy her.
>Or so we thought.
>When humanity brought ruin to our homeworld we fled to the stars. We vowed to never make the same mistake to our new home.
>"Anon, why are you using prose for your captain's log?"
"Shut up ALEXAndrea this is my log and I'll record it how I damn well please!"
>"No wonder the other humans think you have some sort of autism."
"I just think differently damnit! Anyway..."
>This is the voyage of the observation vessel Socrates. I was chosen to-
>"Chosen? You got drunk and cried over an old globe of Earth babbling about wanting to go home."
"Are you the Captain Alexa? Do you make the logs?"
>"*sigh.exe* No Captain."
>I was chosen to return to earth out of curiosity of the ultimate fate of our ancestral home.
>There were tales of how our forebears created horrid monstrosities, a forest that regrew faster than it burned.
>Even tales how even the sun and moon hung in the sky never to move again.
>That is what I expected to find on this mission. A dead or dying husk of our once proud home.
>We were wrong.
>Somehow, someway the land seems alive and vibrant instead of strangled by an unending forest.
>Sensors indicate life on a scale of the various jungle worlds mankind has found in the millenia since.
>The sun and moon move.
>The only remnant of humanty's past was the odd sattelite still in orbit.
>In the name of humanity I, Anon Yosemite Mous will reclaim our long lost homeworld.
>End log.
"ALEXAndria, chart a landing course."
>"Aye Captain."
>You look out the window to the now pristine world below. You can only imagine what awaits.

Meant to just be a little thing and it kind of got away from me. May or may not continue it.
>pic semi-related
It's a good setting, would like to read more of this.
And Anon becomes one of those annoying asian tourists that take pictures of every blade of grass.
And cries after seeing every new and beautiful thing, including the incredibly dangerous animals that are confused on why he's hugging them and giving scritches and oh yeah that's the spot keep digging you little furless thing you I've got a perfect spot for you in my nest.
i like this idea; anon vehemently denies needing to follow RGR, but constantly is wandering into dangerous shit innaquestria and needs a guidemare to keep his head on straight (or just keep his head period). would be a good characterization to explore
jesus christ you niggers are the literal mirror image of the stereotypical tumblrina crowd.
^That's you all. Stop your bitching and raise your foals to not be little faggots that do nothing but bitch all the damn time
I like what I've read so far. The biggest thing sticking out for me is the question-less responses like >>33032914 says.
marepilled anon speaking the truth here
males, species is irrelevant, belong at home raising the kids and giving their loving, hard-working wives bellyrubs and ear-scratches whenever she desires them
>Any recent story that doesn't have a thorough undercurrent of "Haha fuck the matriarchy I'm a powerful man's man" is immediately shot down as 'femdom shit'
You might be on to something there, Anon.
>/incel/ general hates anything that doesn't involve alpha males doing alpha things
>Anon pokes Gilda
"Subject appears to be an evolved form of griffon, further studies required."
>"Stop poking me dweeb."
"Subject has language, more studies required."
>Anon keeps poking her
"Come oooon! Do stuff!"
>Anons ship ai had to keep the catbirb from scratching him
Anon doesn't need magic or a mare to kick a villains ass, he just needs the power of OLD SPICE BODY WASH!! OOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
>Anon claims to be a strong independant man that don't need no mare
>demonstrably isn't
>might not even be alive without the assistance of one of those same mares, and presumably has realized that at some point
>"mirror image of the stereotypical tumblrina crowd"
I don't get it, sounds like a pretty simple icarus flight to me
Overestimate your abilities, crash/burn, and come out of the fire a better person
>Unbeknownst to Anon, estrus rolls around.
>He doesn't know or care because he isn't a horse.
>He does notice mares exceptionally happier than they have been since he arrived in Equestria.
>He also notices males acting more flirtatious and willing to put out.
>The stallions who are normally chill at best and an annoyance at worst become aggressive towards one another and to him.
>They tell him to stay away from *insert closest mare to him* even if he wasn't with or even talking to them.
>Some mares seem disappointed Anon isn't effected by estrus.
>Either they or he brings it up and they realize he is constantly in an mild estrus all the time.
>Mare works hard to get him in a committed relationship because she wants the D year round.
Come back after 7 months and the current google doc is missing most of the old writefags.
The previous is one vandalized with suggestions.
What happened?
He who keeps the docs went AWOL and we have to move that shit over manually to the new guy's. I helped where I could when the new one started, but haven't jumped back on recently to keep on it.
>Humans dont have an estrus cycle, we can just bone whenever.
>You're constantly in heat? how fascinating!
>Well not exac-
>[Adorable bookhorse rambling]
>Sure i guess.
And that along with a few other comments about lasting much longer than a minute is how Humans were portrayed as sex gods in Twilight's research paper about humans.
Sounds like a good, basic premise. It would probably work best if Anon arrived in Equestria soon after estrus season ended. This way there's a decent length of time for him to get used 'the norm' until it changes up because the next estrus season is starting.
I see, well I fixed up the previous google doc and it's good to go if you still want to use it.
I would like to apologize to you guys for leaving for so long, I was hit by multiple lawsuits and couldn't curate the google doc.
I also thank Anons like >>33035684 who cared enough to make a temporary list.
Multiple lawsuits? Holy smokes.
Thanks for updating and getting back to us, Taste
>Multiple lawsuits
To all you guys here, if you're a guy and plan to be a teacher, don't
Fuck, that's awful. Thanks for coming back to fix the doc though my guy. You should give the other dude permissions to edit too for the work he did.
Life gets tough sometimes, man. A vacation is necessary if SHTF legally.

>Male teacher
Oh god dammit. Harassment was my first assumption.
Gaggle of children said you were creepy and started the whole rape rumor shit?
You didn't fuck a kid right?
>Gaggle of children said you were creepy and started the whole rape rumor shit?
Yeah, I work in a high school, a couple of unhappy students made certain allegations against me.
My lawyer told me to avoid the chans for the duration of the lawsuit, especially MLP related stuff.

I wouldn't be here if that was the case.
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Jesus fucking christ, man
Make a gmail account and send me an email at U.vagrant@gmail.com, I'll give your account the permissions to edit.
The same offer is extended to the Anons who curated the new google doc.
Glad to know you're in the safe, relatively. Everyone's nuts these days.
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>tfw you love teaching and playing with kids but cant even mention that in public without being suspected of pedo.
And people honestly wonder why the younger generation turn to escapism. Shit like that makes it understandable why people gravitate and stick to stuff like video games, ponies, and/or other things.
>Anon encounters a lost filly or colt
>Is reluctant to help because stigma he's carried over from home
>"Uhh, all I know is the sun rises in the east and moss grows on the north side of trees, good luck, kid."
>'B-But I don't know what directions those are.'
A few schoolshootings will fix that.
>Anon already narrowly avoided prison when some bitch accused him of diddling her kid
>who wasn't even a mile anywhere near him
>even in equestria the whole thing traumatized him so much he stays the fuck away from anyone he does not know
>especially from foals
>while walking through manehattan a filly tries to ask him for directions
>each time she she steps close he makes a big step back
>even when his conscience screaming at him demanding him him to do something
>whole his logical side keeps telling him to just leave

wat do RGRE?
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While we're on the topic how about we get some more long-lived pony pedo mare diddling foal-aged adult anon.
Well since you aren't in prison, does that mean the Lil shits that started those rumors got caught?
Holy shit, my sides are terminated.
>Need to help the little foal BUT PONIES ALREADY THINK YOU'RE WEIRD but the poor kid is lost BUT PEDO.
>Fetal position.
>A stallion walks over to check on you and hears you raving under your breath about just wanting to help, swearing that you didn't do anything please no stop lying i wasnt even there i'm innocent etc
>He finally realizes why the man always acted so strange and marely, he's clearly been abused and needs help.
Sorry you went through that. I'm glad you're back if a bit singed around the edges.
Learn the difference between he, redundant hims, and the word while. Then bring a guard over to help the filly while keeping my distance.
Wish I got a gladiator costume that worked. That would be fucking awesome in school when talking about the roman times.
Kill them all, Peter.
This is why if I ever made it to RGRE, I'd become a foal-sitter.
>"Nice friendship lesson, faggot."
>"Did your boyfriend teach you that?"
Jesus christ, Raimi
Oh, there was no catching to be done, one of them accused me of molestation to the school, the school suspended me to be investigated.
Next thing I know her parents are at my doorsteps with a lawsuit.
Then a couple other girls 'spoke up' and their parents started suing too.
The court acquitted me due to a lack of evidence.
But not many people think I'm innocent.
Might have to move out of the state

On the bright side, I can finish royal circumstances and continue Ugnon.
And another reason to hate the subhumans outside.
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I thought that *IF* I became a history teacher I'd occasionally cosplay as some historical figure when holding class. I did know a Spanish teacher that would go all out like pic related for "Day of the Dead".
Pretty sure they get away with that because its a fun holiday thing, though I suppose if you can get it by the super intendant you can do it. I know when we did that in my Spanish class we would have to hide the decorations in the ceiling tiles. Fun times.
I remember that.
>Ponies live hundreds of years
>Anon lives 70-90 years (unless he does something stupid)
>Anon, a man in his 20s, is about as old as the CMC and is thus seen as a child
>Cue pedomare who tries to lure Anon into her home with candy
>This only works because Anon just got fired from his job because he's too "young" to work (and his boss was also fired for exploiting foals), and a place to sleep and food to eat sounds appealing
>Cue diddling
The question is - did you really done some shit or not? So it looks very close to a fucking "Jagten", I swear.
You see this shit right here? This is why it'll always be hilarious when adults beat children.
Non, try working towards getting a high enough education that you can teach at a university. I've found university students to be somewhat less likely to try and ruin your life than the little fucking shits we call 'children'.
I'm so tired of telling everyone I meet that I did not, nor will I ever, molest a child.
The only kid I touched in a sexual way was myself, when I first learned about jacking off.
I don't accuse you, mate, just asking. How old are those "children", anyway?
This is so fucked up, I feel sorry for you, this is something that would be hard for anyone and really frustrating. I deeply hate people who do this only to destroy life.
Two of them are 15, one of them 16
Not really children, but by the law, they're still minors.
Anyways, I'm going to stop namefagging now, all of you have a nice day.
It's nice to be back.
>royal circumstances and continue Ugnon
I remember those! And left with a poke in the sad feels. Especially "Roayl Circumstances". I was really digging that one. I'm a sappy romance guy. It was pushing my buttons from the very beginning. I look forward to reading the updates when they're ready. In fact, I'm going to go re-read them both now.

>Might have to move out of the state
If you're still wanting to teach, Florida has a massive shortage of teachers partially because of the state's Dept. of Ed's stupidity. We're talking THOUSANDS of vacancies through out the state.
I'm sure you're innocent man. My cousin was accused by his girl in high School that he raped her. Even with contradictory evidence he had to plea and get community service.
Shit's fucked yo.
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Ahaha yeah he'll just get accused of rape instead of molestation, that's much better.
Good to have you back, m80
Yeah, but it'll be less likely to happen. And there's less social astigmatism for "accused of molesting an adult" than "accused of molesting a child".
Fucking knew it. Smart enough to know about methods of threatening like that and little enough to make them work. Pure bullshit. I wish you well, mate, this is some kind of a wrecked crap.
Don't worry brother. Soon Islam will have enough voting power to push for sharia law and the #MeToo will realize how fun it is when they will need 3 males witness before their rape accusations get even accepted by the police.
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This exact same shit happened to the teacher I was doing my student teacher run with. The only reason he got off scott free is because the time she used to accuse him was when he was with me going over my time in charge.
I ran from the major after that.
is that Super Villain Anon story still going? I want to see the breakout damnit
It updated recently. Some new characters have been introduced in the prison.
I hope Uh-hmmm wanders by the thread and see's this.

Hay Uh-hmmm, your pastebin is missing some stuff, all of Cold Edge Anon is missing before Part 22. Pastebin purging old content automatically or something?

Also, please continue Another Mare's Treasure.
>mexican Anon innaquestria looking for a job
>day of the dead rolls around
>decides that, since he doesn't have his family shrine anymore, might as well dress up like a skeleton
>ponies either think he actually is a skeleton, or that he died and is taking his revenge on this dyke world
mexican americaaaans
got names like chento & chato
& anonymousssss
I was surprised he put in all those Holocaust jokes, especially the one about the Goblin in the Gas Chamber
How'd he get that one past the editors
>Anon becomes a foal sitter innaquestria
>for some reason finds himself co-sitting particularly rowdy foals with teen Cadance
>relationship happens
>Cadance is certain he's The One for her, buy she has a secret she's been hiding
>well it shall hide no longer!
>she mares up, sits you down, and admits that she is an actual pedophile, and REALLY wants to "break in" some young filly with him
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>Not helping steer Cadence away from her sick fetish before it's too late with your mutual friend Gleaming shield by giving her the dick and sitting on her face respectively.
When i read this i loudly said "OH NO!" in surprise, it made my cat jump
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Might as well go ahead and rape and murder them.
Agreed. Dick her unconscious, Anon. And when she wakes up, do it again. Purge the unclean thoughts with your dick, Anon.
> All that Cold Edge Anon missing
> Checks
Huh. Apparently pastebin folders aren't public? At any rate, collated all the CEA into one bin.

> Another Mare's Treasure
I'll see what I can do.
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You brought this upon yourself!
"Starlight! Are you a bad enough mare to follow Trixie in tonight's boxer raid?"
>"No. No I'm not."
"Excellent! Then we'll--wait, what?"
>"I'm not going on a boxer raid with you, Trixie. I'm already in trouble over that firework thing."
"There was nothing wrong with Trixie's fireworks. It was perfectly legal, and the charges were dropped the next day! Besides, boxers and fireworks are two entirely different beasts."
>"You know there's only one stallion that wears boxers in this town?"
>"Boxers weren't even a thing until this stallion came to town."
"Trixie is well aware."
>"You're also well aware that he gets really grumpy when ponies try stealing his clothes."
"Trixie saw what happened to that strawberry mare, yes."
>"You saw that?"
"Yes. Trixie was eating a sandwich as it happened. It was the most horrifying thing that she had seen that afternoon. What happened to the mare, not the sandwich. The sandwich, while not worth ten bits, was still edible."
>"So you saw what happened, you know that Anon will chase us all over Equestria if he finds out we did what you're suggesting we do and do very horrible things to us."
"You worry too much, Starlight. Besides being an international mare of mystery Trixie is also a master of stealth."
>"No you are--"
"AND IF Anonymous finds out what we did, which he won't, what do we have to fear from a silly colt?"
>"He's twice our size and magic doesn't work on him. He also has the temper of an angry Wendigo."
"Pish posh. You worry too much! Now, when is Trixie picking you up?"
I want to punish Trixie.
I want to temporarily remove her magics, shove a plug of some sort up her anus and parade her around on a leash
I want to take her home and make her mine in every sense of the phrase
I want to brush her mane and nibble on her ear.
I want to rub her foal-filled belly as she sighs in contentment
I want her
>You grab the small sports drink and close the fridge.
>A small twist is all that is needed to open it.
>Coming here was a shock, but life was alright.
>Adjusting wasn't too bad since the girl responsible felt she had to 'take responsibility' for you.
>Your biggest gripe was that everything from houses to food was sized for these slightly smaller humans.
>There was only one person your size, but Principal Celestia gave you bad touch vibes.
>There was also the odd nature of men acting like women and the opposite being true as well.
>Even your apartment wasn't you sized, but it was free.
>The girl that snatched you from across reality had some cool inventions which she sold to help you get on your feet.
>Some bacon haired girl also showed up and literally tossed a bag of gold at you.
>You sold most of it, but you kept a single piece just to look at.
>You take the bottle, which fit rather nicely in your hand, and down the whole thing.
>Twisting the cap back on, you turn to look at your running partner.
>Or attempted running partner.
>Twilight was panting and heaving and was currently doing her best to stay off of the floor.
>You open the fridge again and grab another drink for her.
>Twisting the cap off, you move to her side and heft her up.
>"Y-you don't have to-"
"C'mon, Twilight. Drink."
>This girl and her 'men are strong and-' ugh.
>You can't even make fun of it properly, it gets so tiring sometimes.
>She gives you a slight smile as she takes the drink for herself.
>She doesn't down the drink as fast as you did, but she certainly tries.
>After about half bottle is gone she starts to choke.
>You pull the bottle away and throw a dirty rag on the floor where most of the drink landed.
>She looks longingly at the drink as you lift her up, making your way towards the living room.
"We really don't need you drowning, Twi. C'mon, what's next on your list."
>Twilight furrows her brow as she reaches into her pocket.
>She pulls out a physical check list.
>This particular list was for her workout routine.
>You smile as you lay her out on the couch.
>It was cute that she had little things like this, especially in an age where it could all be done just as easily with a phone.
>She actually does do it with a phone also, she just seems to prefer paper.
>She starts to read through the list as you sit on a rather large chair, even for you.
>"Let's see. I need to-"
>Twilight tosses the list across the room.
>"...Really? Can we not do this now?"
>You chuckle.
"I was wondering when she was going to pop up."
>Twilight huffs as she crosses her arms.
>"She's not going to-yes I am! Hello, Anonymous. How are you today?"
>So you said that the girl responsible for your arrival here 'took responsibility' for you.
>This is accurate, the catch is that it's two girls in one body.
>You were the only one that knew that Midnight was still around.
>There was a day when this kind of thing would have bothered you, but those days were left back on another planet.
>The first time you had met Midnight was when she had pulled you to this world.
>The second time was when she had come up to you and flashed you before saying 'I showed you mine, how about you show me yours?'
>Twilight had regained control a second later before running off, leaving you to wonder what the fuck just happened.
>You put on a smile and lean back into your seat.
"I'm doing fine, Mid. Twi and I just got done with a run."
>Midnight rolls Twilights eyes.
>"Ugh, I know. Please keep up the good work with her. She may still have the blubber, but it's getting much easier to breath through these gills."
>You chuckle to yourself as you see the change.
>There's no flashy lightshow or her skin tone changing like when she was a demon.
>You just need to watch the body language.
>Midnight was confident, relaxed.
>Twilight was tight and rigid.
>"Blubber is something found exclusively on sea mammals. None of which have gills!"
>The difference can also be found in the normal language.
>You snicker to yourself as you get back up.
"I'm going to grab the rest of your drink for you. Do you want anything?"
>Twilight shakes her head.
>"I'd like you to eat me out."
>A full second passes before you realize what she said.
>A second later, Twilight snaps her hands over her mouth as her eyes start to bug out.
>"I am so sorry, that wasn't me-MIDNIGHT! If you don't start treating Anon with the respect he deserves I am going to exorcise you out of me! Psh, we both know how terrible you are at exercising. Those are two different things!"
>You give her a pat on the shoulder.
"I'll grab a snack."
>Midnight smirks.
>"If it's for the show we're putting on, I assure you I can put on one much more entertaining. Midnight! Or should I be taking it off."
>You chuckle as you make your way into the kitchen.
>Making your way for the pantry, you grab out a bag of popcorn before tossing it in the microwave.
>This should kill some time.
>Midnight liked to start stuff, but you were obviously too 'delicate' for the crude jokes.
>As soon as Twi would get worked up, you'd just step into the other room and let both of them get it out of their system.
>You stand there, staring at Twilights drink.
>The only sounds that can be heard is the microwave and the not so quiet sound of a girl arguing with herself.
>At least when people argue with themselves here, they actually have other people inside them.
>The sound of squeaky sneakers can be heard as Twilight charges towards the kitchen.
>Why are they called sneakers if you can't sneak in them?
>They should be called squeakers.
>Twilight slams into the doorway, grinning like an idiot.
>"Oh, Anonymous~"
>Twilight slaps herself across the face.
>"Anon, don't listen to her! She's making up lies about me! Oh, hush. If I wanted to make up lies about you, I could have done much worse."
>You frown as you readjust yourself to face the girl.
>These two are really going at it today.
>You put your hands up.
"Okay you two, that's enough. How about you two go and pick out a movie for the popcorn?"
>Twilight nods.
>"Yes, let's-HA! I am not letting you out of this that easy."
>Midnight turns to you.
>"Do you know why Twilight insists on coming with you on your morning runs? That's not important, we're leaving now! Bye, Anon!"
>Twilight starts to walk away, but Midnight keeps a solid grip on the door frame.
>"Gah! Let go-she says it's so that other girls can't take advantage of you. That's true! There are many women out there who would do who knows what to a single-a lonely-A GUY BY HIMSELF! Look at me, my name may be Sparkle, but I feel more like a projector."
>Twilight slaps herself again.
>"They could do a lot of unpleasant things like undressing you with their eyes or even going so far as to rape you."
>Midnight shakes Twilights head.
>"Twilight, look at him. We're average height and we're just below eye level with his nipples. Inappropriate! Not to mention all that muscle, making him about as broad as a small car. Nobody's going to be able to do anything to him. They could! And what's important is that women could be objectifying him without me there!"
>Midnight smirks evilly.
>"What? Like you do?"
>Midnight relinquishes control, allowing you to see the panic start to overtake Twilight.
>"A-A-Anon, I swear I'm not like the other girls. I-I-I just want to protect y-you and-eep!"
>You close the distance between the two of you and gently place a hand on her shoulder.
"Twilight. This is going to sound blunt and kind of rude, but I know you're a horny nerd. In part because I've seen you checking me out."
>Twilight flinches as you place your other hand on her other shoulder.
"And you know what? I don't care."
>Her eyes slowly crane up to meet yours.
>"You don't?"
"Nope. And if I'm going to be entirely honest, you look pretty good yourself."
>A disbelieving stare is your only response before Twilight looks down at herself.
>You nod.
"Totally. You may not be in the best shape, but that kind of works out for you in some ways."
>She looks between herself and you several times before finally stopping on you.
>"Were you really ugly where you came from?"
>Midnight slaps Twilight as you start laughing.
>"What was that?! I don't know, I just-no, stop talking! You were doing decent and then 'are you ugly'. If I wasn't in your head I'd have you taken out back and shot. I don't need advice from you and don't worry about shooting me. I've got a jury rigged rail gun that I plan on using once-eep!"
>You grab Twilight, lifting her up into a hug.
>This girl is perfectly adorable.
>You continue to laugh as Twilight stares nervously up at you.
>"Um, I know you're laughing, but are you mad? That, uh...well I just thought our cultures might have different beauty standards and pleaseletmegosoIcanshootmyself."
>You pat her on the head, you're laughter having slowed enough for you to speak.
"I'm not mad and I'm not letting you shoot yourself."
>Twilight puts a finger up.
>"What if I said please? Don't let her shoot herself, I like living. Hey, you don't get a say in this! I earned a say in this the moment you shoved both of our feet into your mouth. I'm not even going to call it my mouth anymore, that's how much of a failure you are."
>Twilight grumbles as you set her on the counter.
>You step back and grab her by the shoulders again.
"Now why would I let my two favorite girls get hurt."
>Twilight looks at you.
>"You prefer me more, right?"
>You're actually not sure which one that was.
>"Well obviously he prefers me more. Why would he like you? What do you have?"
>You clamp a hand over her mouth before this gets too messy.
"I like you both. Twilight is cute and nerdy-"
>Midnight shoves your hand away.
>"HA! He called you nerdy!"
"And Midnight runs her mouth too much."
>"...Aren't you going to say something nice about me? Of course he won't, you interrupted him. You have to give a man the respect he is due as well as-okay, I don't need a compliment, but I don't need a lecture either."
>You smile and give her shoulder a squeeze.
"I was also going to say that I'm here because of Midnight."
>This was mean and you knew it.
>But maybe if you threw it down they'd stop fighting.
>The girl in front of you freezes and you can't quite tell who's running the show at the moment.
>You step back, letting the two internally converse.
>They could talk like this, it just seemed that they preferred to speak out loud.
>Or maybe it's fun for Midnight to fight for power.
>She looks up at you.
>"It-it's a good thing you're here, right? You're not mad that...Midnight opened that portal and pulled you over?"
>You slowly lean forward and embrace the girl in a hug.
"Like I said, you're my two favorite girls. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
>The girl before you sits there, unmoving and silent.
>After a bit, she slowly extends her arms, reaching up to wrap them around your neck.
>"Anonymous, I know this is sudden, but how do you feel about going to see a movie?"
>The microwave goes off, letting you know the popcorn is done.
>You look over and then back to the girl in front of you before smiling.
"You mean like a date?"
>She looks between you and the microwave before rubbing an arm.
>"Uh, yeah. I mean, you may have gone through a lot of trouble because of-"
>You gently squeeze her shoulder.
"I'd love to."
>Both of her eyebrows pop up.
>"I, uh, good? No, I mean good! Um, guess we'll go tonight?"
>You turn your head upwards, trying to think.
"Actually, is there anything good playing?"
>Her eyes go wide before she hops off the counter.
>"I'm going to go check what's playing you, uh, stay right here."
>Twilight was gone and out of the room before you could really say anything.
>Well that-
>Which one did you just agree to date?
This is something I made awhile back after I saw a picture.
The next chapter of that star/trix herd story is taking a bit because it's utterly fuck-huge massive and I'm posting this to take a break.
I don't know if you're the same guy that did that other small Trixie stuff from before, but if you are I'm happy you're back. You're Trixie is very cute.
Sounds good, this was fun and I'm looking forward to the next update
That was an excellent little short and I love the premise. I'm all for polyamory and that was certainly an interesting take on it. Take your time the the star/trix herd story if needed. I really like that one and look forward to the updates when they're ready.
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I want this fish to make fun of me and end up with her back against the wall, held up in the air by my dick
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lil' fish is better
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Go on. I fucking love sci-twi stuff.
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oh that's good shit.
>Be Anon
>Find out that there's a portal to earth via purple nerd horse
>What she didn't tell you was it was some twisted knock off of earth
>The fucking portal de-aged you so now you have to go to high school

>After Anon got over his rage boner for twilight he enrolled into Canterlot High
>He became the equivalent to a big tittied freshman that seniors prowl for
I want that fishbto sit on my face
Stories where Anon is Trixie's assistant?
> Anon get sick of fish as the only source of meat, and decides to move from Equestria to EQG
> Twilight arranges for him to stay with the principal sisters, who are also hosting Sunset Shimmer
> It's supposed to be a short term thing until he can get a job and a place of his own
> Unfortunately, he doesn't have any documentation, and is technically an illegal alien
> Principal Celestia insists on coming with him to meet potential employers
> For good reason, some of those women are greasy, sleazy bitches
> In the meantime, Anon feels guilty about being a freeloader, so he starts to clean around the house
> He gets worried at the amount of takeout and ramen being consumed in the household, and decides to take over cooking too
> In time, the girls grow more and more attached
> Anon no longer looks for jobs, he just focused on homemaking
> Sunset's friends joke that he'd make a great husband, with skills like those
> Celestia silent agrees
> Sunset idly fantasizes about what the honeymoon would be like
> Luna takes creep shots and shlicks to them
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>OkamI quest is still dead.
U wot
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That was the appropriate response. Good job, Anon.
I want to tease my two adoptive aunties until one or both of them snap(s). I want to lead on a beta Rarity into helping me make slutty maid outfits to better tease them all the while being an exemplary student who brushes off all advances from my peers.
In what way could we have Anon end up as a Gael esqe villain for the mane six to blast with the Skittles beam, without it being Ow The Edge?
>Anon reappears from a few decades of doing whatever before FiM started
>Completely mad
>Mares don't take the threat of him seriously
>Obligitory something something rgre meme
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>Adding something something rgre
>that scene
Still fucks me up to this day.
I just wish it belonged in the RGR thread. You know, since it has normal gender roles so far.
I mostly skimmed, honestly. Kinda boring. The cuts between story and grandpa stuff are too numerous. The dragon stuff was dull and average human male teenager stuff. Anon has literally no characterization that isn’t super generic. The grandfather acts like a human male, which is excusable as being a tradition of Anon’s lineage I suppose. Overall, I’m not seeing any RGR or any reason to keep reading.
Not to say you’re bad, just mediocre and posting in the wrong thread.
It sounds interesting. I’m a bit tired of Anon turning out to just be a normal guy, or shooing ponies with a broom and having it be misinterpreted as some godly thing. It’d be nice to have something where Anon is an actual deity of the pony pantheon for once. I recall there being one such story, but it was never finished.
You’re trying way too hard to be funny, and it shows. Tune down the randomness and “haha anon’s a loser lol”.
Oh, shit. I saw someone in some article say that exact phrase recently after getting slammed with false lawsuits. Was that you, my dude? I think his last name was Harris.
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>working your hardest
>trying your damnedest
>still failing
It's one of the things that men could truly sympathize with. Every guy respects effort, but to put forth all that effort only to come up short is a tragedy. Plus most of us were kids when that aired so the idea that you could study your ass off, even on a rare snow day, and still fail the test is heart breaking. I damn near cried when that scene happened.
Isn’t that Scilight’s schtick?
You know, the “I just want to fuck little fillies, Anon.” pasta?
That’s really fucked up, though. Maybe Starlight will roleplay it out with us instead? I don’t know if I could even do that. Probably just need to get her some serious help.
Twilight’s a little slut, though.
This is way better than that other one. Much less convoluted nonsense going on.
>Anon arrives in Equestria.
>It's RGR.
>There are already native humans here.
>They're a primitive, tribal species considered dangerous predators that, in ancient times, often fed on pony flesh and still do to this day to any equines foolish enough to wonder into their territories.
>Anon, hoping to prove to the ponies he's not some pony-eating savage, barely makes it two steps into town before being chased out by an angry mob of ponies.
>Fleeing into the Everfree, he is set upon by a manticore, and is nearly killed before being rescued by a group of primitive human hunters on the prowl.
>They bring the scared man back to their village, and Anon quickly finds himself the new eye-candy to the amazonian woman of the tribe.
>By their standards, his pudgy, fatherly figure, healthy skin and hair, and nice bulge in his pants mark him as ideal breeding stalk, and by the second day, combat is already being held to see which female will be able to claim the new male as their mate.
>If Anon doesn't think of something soon, he's going to be snusnu'd by a large, muscly, unwashed woman instead of the tender lovemaking of a mare he wants.
>Fleeing the village and into the dangerous forest once again, Anon is quickly pursued by the women, a decision of his fate made.
>Whichever woman catches him first gets to club him unconscious and drag him back to her hut for a rough breeding.
>As the humans catch up to him, Anon is sure his fate will be a gruesome one, and all but resigns himself to raising a family of little hellions against his will before something miraculous happens.
>Zecora, watching the events from afar, is torn.
>It's foolish to involve herself in the matters of humans.
>Suicidal even.
>But the look of fear on the male's face, the desperation.
>She couldn't call herself a shaman, or even mare, if she did nothing, and so, she jumps to his rescue.
>Will she succeed?
>If so, how will Anon repay the zebra?
Three way drama.
Human women trying to steal Anon from Zecora.
Ponies telling Zecora she's nuts for letting a human into her home.
And Zecora herself trying not to full in love with the predator male.
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in the world of mare musicians, who's taylor swift, and who's rick james
After I wrap up the first arc for the current story, which will be the current chapter plus one more, I think I'll jump back into this thing as a kind of break from the big one. Suffice to say, the end of the arc should wrap up all but one question. The blue harbor is a bit too big to simply be explained in a single chapter.
>convoluted nonsense
Give me a bit. I'm sure I'll somehow turn Midnight yandere while Twilight covers for her with the justification that it's for Anon. Because I'm a dumbass who can't get away from drama. Or maybe it could be the other way around with Twilight as the yandere and Midnight covering for her. That'd be different.
Alright, I've got to say it. That Celestia looks more like a hippogriff than a pony. Sure she's got a horn and hooves, but she just looks funky.
Think it's the rosy nose. You get rid of that color and I think Celestia would look a bit more normal.
>Running away from sweaty Snu-Snu
>Run out by those knee-high ponies who shit themselves over bunnies
Can we have an Anon who isn't a fag. I'm not saying Brock Sampson, but someone with at least one nad attached.
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You mean, a decent human being? You're asking a lot.
I'm of the mind that splitting your attention between a couple of stories is a good way to avoid burn out. I'm looking forward to those answers. I think scientifically minded Twi joining the herd makes a good bridge between arcs. I'm assuming the next arc is going into the blue harbor and ancient humans lore. I look forward to all your updates famalam. Thanks for creating and sharing.
I can see a glimpse of something there. Sorta like "Planet of the Apes". I'd read it.

Not that anon. The color doesn't help but I think it's more the proportion of forehead and horn to muzzle. Not that I can do any better. I can barely draw stick figures. In fact, stick figures are probably offended I called my drawings "stick figures".
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I'd run from amazonian 3d, too.
All fuckin' human an shit, that's gross.
Whats the person to Npc ratio in Equestria?
There's also the neck, which is either fluffy or looks fluffy due to shadows which is generally found in birds. It's a very well done picture, it just has some "off" features.
Know this is old but who the fuck was 15 in middle school.
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>>Run out by those knee-high ponies
>"in the name of the Princess of Friendship let me say... GET HIM!!"
>Twilight, the canonically least racist pony chasing you out. The pony who advocates giving chances.
Nice OC bro, whats her name?
I call her Starlight Glimmer. She's super strong and friends with all of the main cast and could totally beat Twilight in a fight.
I want to fuck the stupid out of Glimmer.
I like how she likes kites I find that to be very relatable
I like this.
she's friends with Maud and Trixie, I like Maud and Trixie, that means I like her even though I didn't like her before she became friends with them, weird how that works
I need to see more Anon with Twilight and Midnight
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>If so, how will Anon repay the zebra?
Rut her till her black stripes become white and white stripes become black.
Not sure if stupid, asshole, or an example of the near extinct good troll.
Agreed. True pedo like that (wanting to groom an initially unwilling victim) is fucked up.
In this particular RGRE Ponies have an innate fear and aversion towards humans, whom they consider incapable of friendship, love and trust.
That’s retarded.
And then they decide "let's turn these awful monsters into ponies for their own good" and teleport Equestria into the middle of the Indian ocean, because that's about the same level of terribleness your idea is sitting at.
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Didn't we already agree humans in this setting are feral and hunt/eat ponies?
So you'd immediately chase a lion away if he walked calmly into town wearing a fitted business suit?
It'll cost you bout tree bitty.
Honestly that would be even more alarming than a normal lion.
> Anonymous is...kinkier than ponies can handle
> He knocks himself out, with a handwritten note giving anypony that finds him permission to use his body how they like
> When he wakes up, he is disappointingly unmolested, tucked in a bed, a bowl of eggs on a nearby table
> He goes to the grungiest bar he can find, gets drunk and flirty, and lets an older mare with a bit of a sagging belly take him out
> She ends up bringing him to a grassy field and points out constellations to him
> Anon writes "For a good time, call [his phone number]" in as many mares' bathrooms as he can find
> He gets a decent amount of calls, but ends up playing patty cake, or dates to the amusement park
> He gets a refrigerator box and cuts a glory hole in it, setting it up in an alley along the main street of Manehattan
> Nopony touches his dick, and instead write inspring notes about how they are sure he is quite handsome, and doesn't have to cover up so much
> They're all pretty sweet and heartfelt, so he keeps them in a box and reads them from time to time
> Anon visits the prison, hoping that convicted criminals will be a bit more sexually aggressive
> Instead, they break down crying, thanking him for treating them like normal ponies
> It seems the guards sometimes forget the prisoners' names, and just call them "bad girl" or "bad boy"
> At the end of his visit, a grizzled old mare in a uniform brings him to her office
> The warden asks if any of her prisoners did anything inappropriate
> Anon answers honestly, and she is visibly relieved
> She then thanks him for brightening up the dreary little prison, and sends him on his way
Why it would be alarming? Confusing and weird I can see but alarming?
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>Humans have tried the "good guy" pose trying to catch gullible ponies b4
>Anon has no idea why his proposal was so quickly turned down
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I'm going to have to ask you to cease and stay ceased.
This but with incognito
>Incognito went to pone land with his relative Anon
>Incognito is a semi NEET and only leaves to get food and work because no delivery that isn't derpy
>He is genuinely confused when mares give him any attention before ignoring him completely because he's related to Anon, the resident "nice" guy
>Pones assume he is the same as Anon because ponies are distrusting assholes
>Cue the one pone to give coggy a chance
>SxS double barrel
>With a pump but no mag tubes
Wipe this meme from the face of the Earth.
So Zecora becomes !Zecora
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sucks to be you, fag
That is adorable. The ponies, not you Anon.
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but that one has mag tubes, also it's just two normal shotguns that appear to be crudely welded together with the pump crudely welded on. Also I feel like you could make a trigger discipline meme out of that trigger bar. Needs a bayonet lug/10
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>predator that hunts and eats your kind for meat if you stray too close
>intelligent to make/properly wear clothing
>brazen enough to enter your territory without any fear for whatever defenses you have
How about a nice tall helping of fuck that shit
If you took this over to /k/ would they fap to it or go into a frothing rage?
Yeah, when you say it that way, I can understand why it's actually alarming. Actually, anyone that has the gut to chase away this kind of predator is brave or insane.
>>Intelligent enough to make/wear cloths properly
Adding on to that
>Intelligent enough to speak fluent Equish
I mean, I'm pretty sure the women are based off of this old classic.
You saying you'd want to settle down with one if these and live like an animal in the woods?
Also, pony magic.
I'm sure that when humans kill ponies, it's gorilla tactic stuff. Surprise attacks in the night and whatnot.
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The Pope: Nooo Bitch nooo, Nooooo!!!!!
>That Celestia
That is not the face of mercy.
>Garbo Man in RGRE
>Will he stay faithful to Garbo Lady
>And what will Fluttershy think of his pet spider Webby?
Calling Fluttershy "garbo lady" was rude.
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Who are objectively the worst waifus for an RGRE setting?
I finally fucking found it. TO THE ANON THAT WAS LOOKING FOR A PONKA CENTRIC AiE STORY a few months ago you want DAiE by Anonheiron
Upper Crust
I knew this would happen, but I couldn't decide if putting an "inb4 'yours' " would just inspire people to post "yours".
There's no doubt she'd be a THOT, no matter the gender roles. The moment a bigger supply of love walks by she'd be gone. The moment she loses that she'd be back.
Then you just have to make sure that you're the biggest supply of love that she's gonna get.
There's one of two ways you can do this. You can tie her up in a basement so she never sees anyone else. Or you can emotionally drain yourself of everything for a person that might leave you the moment someone else with something more walks by.
Neither are healthy attitudes.
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None cause all pone deserve you love, affection, and dick
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Did someone say "Weeaboo"?
I've seen Bon Bon portrayed many different ways.
>Secret agent
>Grumpy mare who is tsun for Anon just like my Japanese animes
>Friendly mare who is confused as to why everypony thinks she's a grump
>Steals Anon's cheese
>Lets Anon work for her
>In a herd with Anon and Lyra
>In lesbians with Lyra
But I can't tell which one is RGRE enough. Secret agent is obvious, and it opens the door for some Pone Noir while this silly horse monologues out loud. Bonnie being a grumpy mares has a harder time fitting in with RGRE, because then she'd be like an emotionally under-developed manchild who doesn't know any way else to express affection. There are so many portrayals of Bon Bon that I can't even keep them straight. What's RGRE's favourite type of candy horse, and why is she waifu material?
"Ah gave 'em tree fitty when 'e started posting about ketchup."
>"You gave 'em tree fitty!?"
"'e said 'e'd go away if ah did."
>"Well of course 'e ain't gon' go away now that 'e knows ya' got tree fitty woman! No wonder 'e started posting about traps!"
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I dont think candy grump has to be a bad thing as long as it doesn't go to far. She could be a mare that can take anon shit and give it back to him as well.
Grumpy Bob Bon that got burned in a past herd and now wants to stay as nothing more than friends with Lyra. This gets hard when she brings in her alien colt friend Anon. She starts to remember the good times whenever she sees them together and tries to bury the imagery with memories of the bad. And it works. For a while. Anon has been burned before himself, but didn't let it get to him the way Bonny did. Seeing this, he decides to crack the candy makers shell.
>crack the candy makers shell.
>not sucking and licking that shell down to its sweet center
do you even hard candy anon?
It may not have been hers, but he was still bustin a nut.
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>candy puns
is this how anon gets all the mare? by making puns using their cutie mark?
How many licks to the center of her cutie mark?
Also, I'd like to suck on her candy buttons.
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>Twilight: "You're the star of my life"
>Rarity: "Gem of my eye"
>AJ: "Apple of my eye" (yea yea low hanging fruit (hue))
>Tia: "My sunny delight"
>Moonbutt: something something "blue moon"
fucking kek this is just ridiculous enough to work
Trixie: Hey, want to show me a trick or two?
>Watch and be amazed as the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE make this enormous hot monkey dick disappear!
i'd link a relevant derpi pic but it's anthro trash
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>Lyra: "Don't be a lyre you know you love it"
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wish they would die in a fire
Luna: beauty like you only comes round once in a blue moon
Do you even pick up lines anon?
>Be Anon
>Get a job at the candy store because your fingers mean you can wrap up candies really quickly compared to an earth pony
>Get along well enough with your grumpy boss Bon Bon
>Make candy puns in front of Bon Bon
>Call her your "candy girl" ("Oh sugar, bah-bah bah-bah bah bah, oh, honey honey!")
>Bon Bon has to excuse herself halfway through her shift to rub one out in the bathroom
...I could see it being considered romantic if a mare creates a pet name for her stallion (or Anon) based off of her cutie mark.
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>Do you even pick up lines anon?
no, just shitty half assed puns that would get me punched irl
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>Pinkie: "Balloons aren't the only thing i'm going to pop tonight"
Oh god, that reminds me of the time when one of the P.E. teachers at my old high school would only practice chest compressions on the boys. Then the girls said "Why do you only do it on the boys?" and he decided to try it on the girls as well only for one of them to report him because she didn't like it.
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>cherry popping
>The phrase has a bit of a more round-about meaning in order to apply it to stallions instead of mares, but it's there
>Pinkie, having enjoyed Anon's assistance in the kitchen and in throwing parties, has it in her head that Anon a delicate cinnamon roll who is too pure for this dyke earth
>Following that thought, Pinkie firmly believes that Anon is a virgin
>It all started when Anon told her he hadn't had sex with a pony since he arrived in Equestria, however many months ago
>With the "I must protect his smile" bias colouring her perception, Pinkie immediately takes this to mean that he meant he hadn't had sex at all
>Pinkie is now out to make an honest stallion out of Anon
Unless you wanted the green to be super serious, I doubt something like would happen. Equestria isn't this shithole of a planet.
> Mares try this on Anon
> Except he has multiple cutie marks, and they are in odd places
> "Hey handsome, how about you /anchor/ your ship in my harbor?"
> "I have the perfect cave for your dragon with one muscular arm~"
> "You know, I mentioned that all the mares would be looking at you like this. I told you, bro. I warned you about the stares."
> "If I were your mom, you'd love me too~"
> "I'll be the light and you can be the prism, splitting me wide open."
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>splitting me wide open
Who is the artist of that?
>Be Anon
>Walk past construction site every day you go to work
>Get cat called every time
>One day you've had enough and blurted out the first thing you thought of
"If you don't shut up I'll ass fuck you!!"
>Mare/woman you said that to just blushed and stammered a response having not expected your outburst
>Oh, god.
>Oh god, you MEANT to say "I'll kick your fucking ass".
>Why did your brain have to jumble things up this one particular time you spoke?!
This is like a woman threatening to suck your dick and it gave me a hearty zozzle
And that's how I met your mother
Appropriately enough, the construction working mare's name was "Rocky Start".
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i wish i knew i found if on derpibooru
Here you two niggers go


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fucking lost
Thanks you degenerate faggot.
I’m actually a stupid asshole and a good troll, thanks.
Secret Agent Bon Bon is in the actual show. Any other characterization would be on top of that. I think she’s a sweetheart but has a lot of walls to keep herself safe.
Wrong, fake news.
Here is the correct song.
>she is correct
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>gets kissed
>turns into a frog/rabbit/clown.
>no one reacts.
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How do you make changelings RGRE? Because I have an idea for changelings that boils down to "changelings are blind as shit and only see the magic inside of ponies that they use to duplicate and disguise themselves, and their own magical wavelength is close to baseline to make manipulation easier, and Anon doesn't have a signature because he's not native to Equestria (ie it IS baseline), and now any changeling he comes across thinks he's a really tall changeling and cannot be convinced otherwise". Problem is, there's not much to work with in terms of making RGRE anything but something that gets shoehorned in, and all I really wanted was silly changelings being all "Okay, it's not funny anymore Anon, quit fooling around and come on back to the hive". I just wanted to pet the rabbit, George.
>bowl of eggs
I really miss Morning Glory :(
Apros of nothing, but Hellfire is an top tier disney song.
hey guys help a fellow faggot out, I can't for the life of me remember the name of the writefag with the Starlight/Trixie/Anon green, can someone remind me?
much obliged
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Can we get some ponies trying to be suave? I'll start.
>Here is the correct song.
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>Celestia using a condom
>literally ever
clearly that is a changeling in disguise, unable to accept responsibility like the mare she replaced would
This horse is extremely anti condom. This is a fact
How does pony know how to make comdom?
Pear harbor?
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This horse still has some silly ideas about rubbers. Hopefully her old teacher will make her see the error of her ways
>That image
I miss that guy who write Twilight about anon did magic trick.
Early thread because hurricane again
gonna lost internet before that happen
fuck you once, and fuck you twice for failing to link it
if you're gonna be a shitter, then at least do it right the first time
literally all you have to do is make them interact in an RGRE fashion
like, say, they're always concerned about a lost changeling, but that concern gets a bit more urgent when the "changeling" is male
maybe some vignettes of sorts with the changelings trying to get Anon "home" without breaking either of their covers, only to get more and more frazzled as the story goes on and Anon refuses to come "home?"
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A is for Appul
I think you quoted the wrong post

Some anon made a text with the retard calling poison joke blue harbor
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B is for Bugg
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C is for Ceesey peetzer!
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D is for Digging for dick
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E is for Emaresculation
E is for why are you so bad at making a new thread before this one Ends?
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F is for Food of which this pony has none
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G is for Go make some friends
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H is for Hair
I is for Irrational decisions like making a thread early
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J is for Jokes
and K is for Killing this thread
>Celestia actually is a nurse and is there for a semen sample to make sure human jizz isn't poisonous or acidic to ponies
Let the mare do her job!
That's just fucking entrapment
>when Anon told her he hadn't had sex with a pony
>since he arrived in equestria

Its just not the same if the pony can talk, and wants the D
Can't rape the willing
If it's not rape its not fun
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yes, the thread is dead and everyone's on the new thread
what's your point?

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