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Last Thread >>32937289

IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY

>rope's super gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/

Add for Skype: sin.aie

>PiE corner
>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.
PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
PiE image archives: http://derpy.me/PiE_Pictures
Browser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
Browser Pony image and story archive (cloud): http://derpy.me/BrowserPonies
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>You wander into your home, feeling slightly out of it. As you're putting things away where they belong, you notice your glasses are looking dirty.
"Over due for a clean, I guess," you murmur as you set them on the sink.
>The clicking of little hooves trying poorly to sneak on hardwood floors echoes as Moonie peers into the kitchen.
>"Oh, you're home early."
>You glance at the clock before you realise setting them forward slipped your mind last night.
"Actually it's daylight savings, I'll need to fix all the clocks in the house in a moment."
>"So... Does this mean we lose or gain an hour?"
"Gain," you reply flatly while rinsing a few things.
>Moonie audibly gasps with excitement and you can see her already trembling with excitement.
>"This means you'll be home earlier all the time."
You chuckle, "No."
>She quickly scowls at you, "What? You don't want an extra hour of praising your queen each day?"
"I might get home an hour early but I'll also be leaving an hour early."
>"Why?" asks a genuinely confused filly.
"Because that's how daylight savings works."
>"But we're supposed to gain an hour," she explains in one of those patronising tones used when dealing with someone 'slow.'
"Aren't you like over a thousand years old? How do you not know about how daylight savings works?" You ask irritably.
>"Well, I was a little distant with things for a while."
"Right," you answer, feeling like you put your foot in it a bit.
>"Can we have pizza for dinner?" Moonie's voice comes across as aloof and slightly monotone, which seems to hammer in a bit more of that guilt.
"Sure," you resign with a sigh as you turn around to see a toothy, "gotcha" kind of grin.
>"Too late, you said yes. You can't take it back," she shouts triumphantly.
>Your eyes narrow and her grin grows.
"Oh, you are in for it."
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>Moonie stance swiftly drops into a ready position so that the second you move she will sprint towards her room. The two of you hang there, frozen in time almost. Then you ask which pizza she wants knowing that even though she is the type to always get one of two things, she has to look at the menu stuck on the fridge before making a decision. You remain still, refusing to break eye contact but you notice Moonie's will and eyesight waver.
>You flick your head in the direction of the fridge. Moonie hesitates then looks at the menu. Then her eyes widen as she realises something.
>"That wasn't a nod," she screams. Too late.
>You've already scooped her up into your vice-like grip in one arm to tickle her with the other until her giggles turn into a screech. The pizza you got later was good.

@line 1295 https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt

The cute is very strong in this update. Thanks 8th!
>76 shorts
Damn. 8th just keeps the cute coming.
Tripfags in Equestria
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>be celestia
>anon is publishing explicit art from the human universe again
>since ponies are naked anyway the media laws can't even stop him
>"sunbutt edition" of anon's lewd magazine drops in a week to coincide with the summer sun celebration
>fucking anon
Wrote this a while ago. Never posted it here though, so why not. Here you go. Happy new thread.

>It's a fine day again in Equestria, in the dead of summer, and you're feeling pretty good about life. It's gotten warm the last few days though, and you could really use a drink to get rid of this damned heat! It's making you so dizzy at times that you barely remember you're a human. You almost went outside naked once, until you looked in the mirror and got frightened by the sight of your own penis. Damn that thing, why's it gotta look so weird and grey sometimes?
>Anyway, penis aside, you're feeling thirsty. In fact, you could really go for a Pepsi in particular.
>Unfortunately, as you go to your fridge, you find it completely empty. No food, no cold, life giving Pepsi. Huh, that's strange, you're sure you bought some soda yesterday! You don't remember drinking all of it, but maybe you're sleep eating again. Wouldn't be the first time.
>All at once, there's a knock at the door. You aren't expecting company, who could that even be?
>You open the door to find Fluttershy there, shivering slightly despite the high temperature. Her presence isn't too strange or unexpected, but it's so hot, why would she be shaking? Maybe her little horse brain has finally snapped. Again.
"Er... hi Flutters," you say, reasonably worried about her strange trembling. "What's up?"
>Her voice cracks as she speaks.
"W-well... I know it's hot today and I wondered... would you like an ice c-cold Pepsi?"
>You brighten considerably. That's Fluttershy for you, always a thoughtful friend just when you expect her to be a raging horny cunt instead. And her timing is perfect, it's like she knew your fridge was empty somehow!
"Sure!" you say. "I'd love one, thanks."
>You hold out your hand for her to pass it over, but to your surprise, she just turns around so that her butt is facing you.
"B-better drink it quick," she says. "B-before it gets t-too warm!"
>Then she raises her tail...

>You watch in horror as her pussy lips part a little, and a tiny dribble of brown soda runs out, down across her clit. It fizzes slightly, and she moans softly as the carbonation sparkles on her labia. She shudders, and to your amazement, a partially melted ice cube plops out as well with a soft 'schlck' noise. It immediately begins to melt in the quickly growing puddle on your doorstep.
>She looks over her shoulder at you as the soda continues to flow.
>She smiles.
>She winks.
>Without another word, you slowly shut the door and lock it behind you.
>All you wanted was a Pepsi...


Bin: https://pastebin.com/0XyyvUGz

Have a good rest of your week, guys. And post some damn green.

[Description is relevant]
I plan on doing one of these for each of the M6 with unique exposition on each one. Any votes for next pone?
horse pussy doesn't work that way
>muh horz puzi
Yeah, I know. It's just that horse vagina is very limiting in terms of positioning. Unless, of course, you just assfuck the anatomy and do some crazy shit. Then it would be wrong again. Hoomun vagina gives great flexibility in sex, anon. ;)
I agree with >>33036535 Rarity should be next.
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What ever happened to Durnk Anon?
liver failure
Legend has it he is competing with all of Ireland in a drink off.
The battle still rages on.
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Any stories where Anon attempts to get rid of the changes Hasbro made to Equestria?
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Fuck year, I had saved the thumbnail like an fucktard long ago and always got pissy when I saw it in the folder.
Thnx bby
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>It's a day like any other. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and Moonie is being rather quiet so that means something is about to or has gone wrong. Idly, you wander about the house looking for her before you hear her and Trixie's voice echoing in the bathroom. Curious, you eavesdrop outside the door.
>"There's no way that'll happen," Moonie scoffs in a derisive tone.
>"It's true. Trixie has seen the future herself. One day we'll all be eating out of tubes, it'll be quick and have all our daily nutrients in one little tube."
>"But... Why?"
>Trixie shrugs, "Why not? If you're getting all your protein and whatever in a tube then you don't have to eat veggies. Why, you could eat candy all day because you've already gotten everything else."
>Moonie brightens up at this, "That makes sense."
>The two are quiet for a moment as they look over a tube of toothpaste.
>"Try it."
>"To practice," Trixie answers with a condescending eye roll.
>"Why don't you do it?"
>"Trixie does every day, saves time on brushing."
>"You better not let Anon hear that," mumbles Moonie maliciously.
>Trixie stares at her carefully. To which Moonie stares back so now the scene looks like some sort of old western stand-off. Neither will do anything, probably. They seem fond of daring the other to strike first so they can tattle. You have to muffle yourself by biting down on your fist when you very nearly laugh at how alike they are in their childish natures.
>"Eat the tube."
>"No," Moonie states defiantly, "You eat the tube."
>"Why? It's just tube food," snickers Trixie.
>"Stop saying tube so much."
>"Fiiine, you don't have to eat the tube."
>And then Trixie gives a little smirk. The kind where you know, because you appraise her face without getting instantly riled up like Moonie, that it's just an attempt to goad Moonie into a reaction. That she falls for. From Moonie's point of view, it seems like in that little smirk, that Trixie is arrogantly patting herself on the back for a small victory.
>And so in her defiance to refuse Trixie any kind of victory, Moonie downs the entire tube of toothpaste. Though it's a bit late, that's when you step in.
"Spit that out," you command.
>The two spin to face you with poor looks of innocence.
"Don't even try, I was listening. Now spit."
>Stubborn as ever, Moonie swallows.
>"The fair and innocent Trixie didn't do anything, she did it on her own."
"I swear it's like I've adopted two kids," you think to yourself before saying, "Too much of that stuff can be a poison, you know."
>Both visibly pale.
>Moonie gives you the tube and you read the ingredients. While you're not exactly sure of the effects of many foods or chemicals on horses, much less technicolour magical ones, the rule of thumb seems to be that most ways things affect you do the same to them.
"No fluride, but... Sorbitol."
>"What's that?" the two squeak in unison.
"Just a syrupy alcohol thing to make toothpaste taste sweet. But in higher dosages... Well, it works as a laxative."
>Trixie turns to Moonie to give a loud "HAH!" right in her face. Moonie just looks down in defeat.
"And as punishment for getting her to do it, you'll be cleaning any mess she makes."
>The colour completely drains from Trixie as Moonie glances at her from the corner of her eyes while sharp teeth in a grin wider than her jaw. Yes, there would be mess. Now you do feel a little, kind of, sorta bad for making that the punishment. Though only a little.

https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt @line 1328
Thanks 8th! I needed a morning 'pick me up'.
>Eat the tube.

Jesus christ.
>The smell of sulfur
>Nothing better in the morning
>Well, apart from alchemy
>Making random ass potions
>Fun as hell
>What's even better?
>You can sell those potions
>Good thing too
>Bills are pretty annoying
>That's why you got yourself a little business
>Turned your house into a alchemy shop
>Speaking of which
>You got a shop to run

>You grab your robe and head down stairs
>Stocked shelves behind a counter line the walls
>Each filled with potions
>Most of them healing
>You make your way over to the front door, unlocking it
>Stepping outside you turn the sign outside from 'closed' to 'open'
>Heading back inside you go behind the counter
>And now you wait.

>It takes around twenty minutes before the door chimes
>Looking over you see a yellow stallion
>He walks up to the counter
>"You got anything that treats wounds?"
>A healing potion?
>You got lots
>You turn around to the shelves and grab a red vial
>Turning around you put the vial on the counter
"That'll be ten bits."
>He drops the bits on the counter
>You scoop up the coins and put them in your cash register
>Well, its not a 'cash register', its more of a wooden box that looks like one
>Still worth it
>"Another thing."
>You turn your attention back to the stallion
>"I'm looking for a alchemist to help out in some adventuring."
>You know where this is going
>"Now, I was wondering how much you charge for field service?"
>A dangerous adventure?
>Where you get to kick ass
>Its better than being in this place
>But still...
"Where do I sign up?"
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Only if you stop leglocking me.
>Be gongbong 'Non
>"Pinkie, get out."
"Sorry, nonny. Your mind is just so fun!"
>"Hey! No blacktext either"
"Anyway, where was I? Ah yes…"
"fUCkinG WhAT!?"
>"I forgot I was baking a cake"
"Well what are you waiting for? Chineighse new year?"
"Equestrian Baker! Go, go, go!"
>pink Flex Seal makes a glopping sound and vanishes from your mind
"Alrighty, now that Plenka Plap is out of my mind I can fi-"
>*knock knock CRASH*
>"U-uh, wh-whoopsh"
"Applepony, are you drunk?"
>"n- *hic* no!"
"Applepony, are you Phil Swift?"
>"Yesh, uh, no, uh, who?"
"That's a lot of damage."
>Applejack just puked on your shoes made by Rarity, your favourite pony
>Actually the bathtub snapped in two
"The bathtub snapped in two? That can't be right…"
>Moonwalking up the stairs you see water
>and Scootaloo
>and a broken window
>and a busted bathtub
>and water
>lots of water
>holy DAMN that's a lot of water
"wait what."
Why do you guys do this to yourselves? Why drag out the death of a once great general like this? It's time to move on. Make new, better memories elsewhere rather than dwelling in the past in this rotting corpse of a thread.
Fuck off.
Sure, it might take a week, sometimes two to go through a thread but to give up because of that doesn't make sense.
Technically there's more than enough AiE to keep the thread going but it's all out there in the board.

Even then, there's still plenty of stories here to keep us all going unless you'd rather indulge in nostalgia faggotry and stop yourself enjoying some new shit.
Damn. I was expecting some fillydom or humiliation, fuck you for getting my hopes up.
It's Moonie, why would you expect that? It's always been about the cute.
How new are you?
Because fuck you that's why.
Now move along tryhard, I got stuff to post soon without your crybabbying shitting up the place.
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Any votes for next poni?
Pinkie or AJ
>There is no place in Equestria that has ever heard of scratchcards
>So Anon invents it
>Ponies get addicted to it
>Just about everyone in the room is glaring your way. You look across the long table, mayors, delegates a sheriff, and councillors occupying every seat of the great stretch, to see Princess Celestia and Ms. Harshwhinny. The Princess gives you an apologetic smile while Ms. Harshwhinny has her notorious 'annoyed at everything and everyone just for existing' face.
>"Mayor Anonymous," begins one Mayor from Vanhoover in a haughty and self-important stance, "There has still not been an official vote. Just because the Princess revealed in confidence that her vote would go to Ponyville does not mean that will be the outcome."
>"Here-here," call out a couple other members of Equestria's Bureaucratic Table.
"Alright, alright. Settle down," you reply with your hands up to try and put a stop to anyone else making sure their opinion is heard and stalling conversation,"I don't know how these things go. What do we do?"
>Mayors, delegates, and councillors exchange grins.
>"Ahem," goes Ms. Harshwhinny, grabbing everyone's attention, "You'll each make a short pitch on why your town would be suited to host the next Equestria Games. Everyone puts it to an anonymous vote, three votes each and we do it again and again until there is a clear majority for a town. This is make sure there is no disputes later like we've so often had in the past. Then an inspector such as myself will go to whichever town gets the most. If that town fails, the inspector will go to the second town and so on."
>"Does that clear up everything, Mayor Anonymous?" the Crystal Empire delegate asks while looking down her nose at you.
>You nod solemnly.
>"And for the record," continues Ms. Harshwhinny, "There is no leaving this room until a clear vote is finalised. I don't care what happens. We'll order pizza and even the delivery guy will be stuck here until the vote is finished. Understood?"
>Everyone nods then the Sheriff stands up to take the first go.
>"Appleloosa is a fine country town with plenty wide open spaces fer any kinda sport. While we ain't got a lot of them fancy facilities you folks got here in the city, anywheres the Equestria Games might need can be built within days with our labour force seein' as we been explaindin' the place an all."
>"And that rat's nest called the Salt Block," whispers one nearby councillor to another as the two snicker.
>The sheriff's attention fixates on them through his peripheral but he ignores the two and carries on, brimming with pride for his town. Gazing around, you see various members rolling their eyes, looking superior at the Sheriff, or just flatly ignoring him. And yet the Sheriff shrugs it all off and instead keeps talking about Appleloosa. While you're not sure if a small remote town is the best place for the games, you like the Sheriff. He seems the be the only one here talking this seriously and actually listening to everyone else. So that might be one vote.
>Next is a mare mayor from Baltimare, followed by a delegate for the Crystal Empire. A few other members decline to enlist their city for various reasons, such as Applewood whose stadiums are in repair. That leaves the towns in the running to be: Appleloosa, Baltimare, Califoalnia, Chicoltgo, Crete, Crystal Empire, Fillydelphia, Foaledo, Griffonstone, Hoofington, Las Pegasus, Manehattan, Mullumbrumby, New Horseleans, Our Town, Ponyville (Naturally), Salt Lick City, Seaward Shoals, Smokey, Trottingham, Vanhoover, Whinnyapolis, and Yakyakistan.
>And it all goes south from there. A panicky looking clerk bursts into the room. Even from the opposite end of the room you can hear her hyperventilating as her heavy whisper to Princess Celestia echoes through the room.
>"My Princess, the town is in a panic. Nightmare Moon, she has returned," the clerk breathes.
>All the delegates, councillors, mayors, and the sheriff look at you the instant word carries their way. Their glares are harsh, unforgiving, and full of nothing but the scornful arrogance that only the upper-class can master. Princess Celestia pauses for a moment, then when she finally looks your way her eyes are puzzled. There's no judgement behind those eyes. They trust and believe to a fault, instead they are curious. They know something isn't at it seems and they know that you know something.
>"Mayor Anonymous of Ponyville," a regal tone carries Celestia's voice, "You were charged with the care of Nightmare Moon."
"Yes," you reply flatly.
>Everyone's attention hangs for a moment before anyone realises that was all you had to say on the matter.
>"Do you have an explanation or any idea what might have happened?"
"I do not," you lie, "So, we best get on with this vote?"
>"Preposterous!" Bellows the minotaur of Crete, "Even we Minotaur has to deal with Nightmare Moon's tyranny. This needs to be handled now."
"Actually, you heard Ms. Harshwhinny earlier. Nobody gets out. No matter what. Even that clerk is stuck here until a decision is made."
>Everyone seated exchanges looks as they realise what is going on, or at least begin to suspect. The clerk just looks around puzzled as everyone refuses to meet her gaze. Until he makes his way toward the door. Then Ms. Harshwhinny blocks her way with a stern glare that is hardy enough to break even the hardiest of will.
>"Really?" The poor clerk murmurs as she resigns herself to fate.
>Ms. Harshwhinny turns to her audience and declares in a hardened tone, "Vote!"
>Every head in the room, save for Ms. Harshwhinny and Princess Celestia, ducks down for cover to write their three votes on pieces of paper. After a few short seconds, Ms. Harashwhinny, goes around the room to collect all the ballots into a little box.
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>Once she returns to the head of the table she gives the box a vigorous shake and begins to count them all. Then she announces the top five.

Appleloosa: 14
Vanhoover: 14
Ponyville: 12
Crete: 10
Mullumbrumby: 8

>Everyone groans.
>"Yes, yes. Again. Quickly now," Ms. Harshwhinny commands.
>"Really, Princess. Don't you think we should really let this go this time. The fate of Equestria could very well be in great peril."
>Before answering the Princess glances your way, "I'm afraid not. Rules are rules."
>Then everyone else tries to steal glances your way too. And with that, everyone hastily scrawls their votes. Ms. Harshwhinny enjoying the opportunity to have an entire room captive drags out the ballot counting until she announces the landslide winner, with 42 votes, Ponyville.
>The Princess and the Sheriff are the only ones polite enough to applaud and congratulate you. The rest are already run outside screaming and squealing like pigs from the butcher shop.
>"I trust you'll handle Nightmare Moon?" the Princess asks with her famous smile™.
>"With all due respect, your highness," the Sheriff scoffs in disbelief, "Shouldn't you or the elements of harmony deal with Nightmare Moon?"
"Ah, I wouldn't bother them. If she's really caused trouble then I'll ground Moonie. Should do the trick."
>"Moonie?" gasps the Sheriff with such open-mouthed surprise that you thought his moustache would fall off.
"I'm off. It was nice seeing you Princess and I hope you get it next time Sheriff. You sold me on Appaloosa."
>"Uh, yes. Right. Thank you. You should come and visit some time," he says while shaking your hand idly as his mind still recovers.
>The town square where you said you'd meet Moonie at this time is deserted. Not a soul in sight. You look around and notice a rustling in a bush. Rolling your eyes, you head over and put your back to it.
"I wonder where Moonie--"
>And then Moonie leaps out, fangs bared, with forehooves and wings stretched out to make the little filly seem bigger than she is.
"Is that how you were scaring folks?"
>"Not at first. First is was up on that building across the way. I made a little smoke and thundered my voice shouting the speech about my return. Then it was mainly just popping up," she cackles while revelling in the despair of ponies, "I like it here."
"You only say that because nobody is scared of you back in Ponyville unless it's a tourist."
>Moonie pouts a little at that remark.
>"I'm doing all this hard work to help you and this is how you say thanks."
"Yes, you're right." You give an exaggerated bow, waving your hand in circles as you bend as low as possible, "Forgive me, my queen. I am truly grateful for your efforts have won us the day."
>Moonie laughs then says, "So, we got it? It worked?"
"Yes, as silly as your plan was. It worked quite well. Now I've got to work out how we're going to host this thing," you sigh.
>"Then I win! So I'm picking dinner."
"Yes. Yes."
>"What's the most expensive restaurant in town?"
"Really?" you splutter, "I'm surprised you weren't going to be all over that new burger place here. Or maybe Donut Joes."
>"Yeah, that's a good point. But then... Which to choose you know?"
>You sigh a breathe of relief at having turned her attention away from costly. You know how expensive some places here can get, your wallet might never recover.
>"I'm thinking! One second."
"Tick-tock," you tease.
>Moonie pokes her tongue out at you. As she thinks, you stare around the square. It's still empty. Off in the distance and in a couple windows a few ponies can be seen fearfully peeking at what be their last hope for Equestrian kind. You snicker but also feel a little bad for them all. It's probably best not to loose Moonie like that, well it's definitely a bad idea, but if she doesn't work off some of that 'doom and domination' energy then she'll wreak havoc in the house.
"I'm surprised at you, is all."
"I figured you the greedy type."
>Moonie's eyes widen as realisation dawns and excitement builds.
"Three, at most," you interrupt.
>"Burgers, donuts, and pizza! Let's do it!"
>Moonie cheers and bellows over and over about it for the rest of the afternoon.

https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt @line 1368
Definitely Appul
Oh my! I didn't expect that when you first asked. Thanks famalam.

I agree with the replying Anons about AJ.
I'd like to see/read about her next.
Am I the only one that's thinking of the classic Suicidal Tendencies song?
All I wanted was a Pepsi!
I knew something was afoot by the third post. I just wasn't sure who's idea it was. Excellent update 8th!
Are there any good fics involving Anon and Trixie? I've been looking but couldn't manage to find any
Gadget's paste has been nuked so the only one that comes to mind is 8th's Something to be Proud of https://pastebin.com/ZNWmCaJF
Looks fine to me
Huh. Must have typed it wrong. Well >>33047775 wrote a lot of Trixie
Not that Anon. "Something to be Proud of" is pretty good. I can't say I've read anything of Gadget's.
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I should gift that fagoot Pro for the hell of it
What a cutie
A cutie that doesn't realize Anon put laxatives in her breakfast today.
Which she gave to Angel when he threw a fit again
Fluttershy's submissiveness pays off from time to time
Good. Fuck that rabbit.
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Fluttershy's getting excited because she heard me say "I want Fluttershy to bully my penis."
Hey, third short in a row. Nice. Keep it up.
I need more stories of Anon bullying Fluttershy and being the most obnoxious person that she can't help but put up with.
So basically you want the opposite of flutterrape?
Yeah, pretty much.
Previously on CSI: Equestrian Division:

Against all odds, Vegter survives a romp through the magnets, and literally butts heads with Anon over their idiocy. They make up.
When Heerser isn't busy ribbing Anon over his love life, he's busy having lovely chats with him about his own! Well, among other things.
Zaalma still hates Anon, bringing his progress with the zebras to a snail's pace.
And to top it all off, Anon gets the prophetic stuff confirmed as real, a revalation that has him take up drinking for a spell...

Will I ever pre-write these opening segments so I don't need to rush through them in the morning?
No, of course not. That wouldn't be fun! And speaking of fun...

Previous Pastes for Thaumaturgy With Anon:
Part 1: https://pastebin.com/GGMNC8h7
Part 2: https://pastebin.com/kQCRMUTs
Part 3: https://pastebin.com/JTAGVFDM
Part 4: https://pastebin.com/iwdvta5w
Part 5: https://pastebin.com/mLFzAVQa
>A little bit of binge eating and some deep breathing later, and you start telling Heerser what you know.
>The plan laid out on that tablet, about the destructive and corrupting force pitted against Celestia and ponykind.
>Even how Celestia interrogated you about this exact same subject, including her uncertainty about it being true.
>You thought that would be it, but to your surprise, Heerser was really curious about a lot of the other details, and began asking you about where you found this plan, among some smaller asides.
>That was much easier to fess up: when you told him about the underground temple, he asked even more, and you barely hesitated in answering that it's probably where you were brought into Equestria.
>Then the subject of the nightmares came up, another surprisingly easy confession.
>The tortures were heavily skimmed over, but you did bring up the certainty of Incognito being with you, too.
>You really don't know what it is, but Heerser just seems so... approachable.
>Like you could tell him just about anything.
>You don't really have a good way to describe the feeling, but if you had to try, it'd be like some kind of...
>Yeah, that'll do.
>Of course, Vegter got really antsy about hearing a big story he couldn't understand, but Heerser was quick to feed him a heavily abridged, partly fictional version about you fighting out of the clutches of a great evil, losing your memory, and about Incognito being your evil twin.
>You don't know whether you want to sock him in the jaw or high-five him for that last bit of fiction.
>It sure worked to keep Vegter's questions to a minimum though, which was definitely a big help.
>Once everything was laid out, he took a second to lay back a bit, humming to himself while lost in his thoughts.
>Some serving mares came by, one of which was that chick Vegter tried to bone.
>He 'excused himself' for a moment with her, leaving you two alone.
>"Well," Heerser starts. "That's... quite a tale, Otherworldly Anonymous."
>"I cannot say I expected your otherworldly nature to have been rooted in that much suffering. I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
>"In any case, I can certainly understand Celestia's trepidation over keeping you around. That puts the presence of that Invictus agent in a whole new light."
"I know it's his job to watch me, but he's still my friend."
>"Oh, I believe you. As for myself, I can scarcely believe I am agreeing with Celestia of all ponies on this many points."
>The forced yet still mirthful little chuckle he gives really sells his disbelief.
>"That includes her uncertainty about this apparent prophecy of yours being what you claim it to be."
"W-wait, seriously? So there isn't a--"
>"Oh, there's definitely one in effect upon you. If Zaalma says there is one in effect, there is one in effect."
>And there goes your hopes for this being one big exercise in leg pulling.
>Boy, your words to Celestia when she first brought this up...
>Th-they sure sound hollow now, d-don't they?
>"However, after hearing the details about this prophecy, or at the very least, it's plans? It is also an absolute certainty that what you have described does not match events as they have unfolded."
"Dude, I'm getting you guys on my side here! How's that not a match for--?!"
>"It's not your role in this dark plan that I am thinking of, Otherworldly Anonymous."
>"No, what caught my attention was the role that the Destroyer has. That title of his certainly has more significance now, hmm? Perhaps we should properly name him as... Cataclysmal Incognito?"
"Cataclysmal...? Uhh, wait, no! What do you mean, his role?"
>"Oh, that was the first thing I noticed when you explained the situation, truth be told. To be specific, how his role in this plan of your captors doesn't match with his actions."
"You're... gonna have to explain that one."
>"Yes, I suppose with all that's happened, you haven't had the time to fully consider this. No better time than now, I say!"
"Y-yeah, if you say so. So, what's the deal? Isn't he doing his Destroyer-y thing like in the plan?"
>"At first glance, yes. However, I must ask."
>"Does he perform this destruction alone?"
"Uhh, yeah? He's--"
>"If that's true, and he's meant to play this role alone, what on Equus is he doing with an army of all the various races?"
>Holy shit...!
>"In fact, if I'm not mistaken, Otherworldly Anonymous, that is supposed to be your role in this plan, is it not? Mustering an army of all the different races?"
"But... aren't I?"
>"If you are, you're doing a terrible job, if I'm being completely honest."
>That's one insult you're more than happy to receive.
>"Think about it. While it's true that he can never enlist ponykind's aid, not with the vitriol he's roused up against them, he has three of the four races you've described as part of this army on his side: changelings, gryphons, and the zebras of the Bloedige Plaag. He's not only doing your job, he's doing it better than you are!
>"In my mind, if you were a 'Corruptor', to juxtapose with the title of Destroyer, you would be some kind of silver-tongued, machinating trickster, with terrible plots to control your armies always on your mind. Say, for example, creating some kind of cult to rally under?"
>A cult.
>Oh God.
>No, literally, oh God!
>Down here, they'd think the Jesus shit would be...!
>"But as it stands now, and forgive my bluntness, you're a rather insensitive braggart, with both delusions of invincibility and all the tact of an angry maulwurf."
>"And who greatly overestimates his own skill and cunning."
>Geez, even if it's blunt, he doesn't have to fucking golf swing it!
>"Not precisely what I would call 'Corruptor' material."
>Guess it still hits the nail on the head, but...
>Man, did he have to be so right...?
>"That being said, his goal does appear to be Celestia's destruction, though I have some doubts about his commitment to that goal."
"Why's that?"
>"A hunch, though nothing concrete, and certainly nothing relevant to this discussion. However, I must ask again."
>"Do you work to destroy Celestia?"
"What? Hell no! I'm trying to keep her and my friends safe, for God's sake!"
>It just clicked for you what he's getting at.
>"And besides, aren't you all but betrothed to her sister and protégé?"
>You didn't need to be eating anything to choke on that particular line.
>"Perhaps if you were some vile, backstabbing snake, as would befit a Corruptor, you would be courting them to get closer to her, to embed a knife firmly into her back. Moulding such proud, beautiful creatures into wanton whores, for your--"
"The fuck did you just say?!"
>"Oh, struck a nerve, did I?"
"Say that again, I dare you. I double-dare you, motherfucker!"
>You'll knock that shit-eating grin off his fucking face to go with it!
>"Say what, Otherworldly Anonymous? That you are in fact using them to stab Celestia in--"
"No! That is not what I'm doing with them, you fuck!"
>Your fists hurt from the pounding, and you're in no state to give a shit.
>He says nothing else, just meeting your glare with a calm look of his own.
>Who knows how much of that goes by before he clears his throat.
>"Forgive me. It was wrong of me to disrespect your mates like that."
"They're not--"
>"But you've made one thing certain in your display of emotion. One thing that was made very clear in your bid to rescue Vegter, too."
>"You just don't have the capacity to betray and discard others like that. Not to the level that would be demanded of such a powerful, influential Corruptor."
>He talked all that shit, just to prove a point?!
>"It is customary to allow a free strike against one who disrespects another's mate, if you feel so inclined."
>Did he just give you the green light to punch his lights out?
>He totally did, didn't he?
>No, the table gets it instead.
>Fuck the table.
>"That's quite a restrained response, all things considered."
"Next time, you won't--"
>"I know. I won't do it again."
"You better not."
>Okay fists, you can unclench now.
>Fine, stay that way.
>"Getting back on topic, I can say with absolute certainty that whatever prophecy is currently in effect with you is not at all this 'corrupting' role you have described to me."
"But it could still be...!"
>"Possibly, but tell me: what do you believe is more likely? That these dark forces are such devious schemers that they would plan around your apparent failures to fulfill this role of yours, transmuting it into a success? Or that it simply is not as you have described it?"
>W-well, if you're being honest...
>No, you can't say that would be true.
>Maar and his gaggle of assholes were vicious bastards, sure, but they sure didn't act like 4D chessmasters.
>Guess Occam came through for you again, huh?
"Okay, I see what you mean. But..."
"Then what the hell am I being strung along to do?"
>"That, I'm afraid, I have as little knowledge on as you do. I suspect however, that the key to discovering the truth behind what it is will come from these nightmares of yours."
>God damn it.
>"One of your mates is the princess of the night, is she not? Has she not been able to aid you in this regard?"
"N-no. She--"
>Wait just a second here.
"I never told you who those two were."
>"Oh, you hardly needed to. You told me it wasn't Celestia, and the princess of love doesn't strike me as the polyandrous type."
>Well, look at fucking Sherlock here.
>"Still, has she been able to help?"
"No. Her spells don't work on me. They said that..."
>Wait, that's right!
"They said they'd need something alchemical to pull off that dream sharing shit!"
>"Can you really not watch your language during your epiphanies?"
>No you can't, fuck off.
>"Still, an alchemic solution to such an issue? Well, if you're at this point, I presume the Equestrian facsimile of alchemy hasn't been able to achieve such a result."
"Not really."
>"You're certainly in the right place to receive such a solution, Otherworldly Anonymous. Of course, the alchemists are in no state to entertain such a request, given how little they trust you."
>Yeah, you'd guessed as much.
>"If you earn their trust, I'm certain they'd be happy to help you. Still..."
>He leans forward, very intrigued.
>"You said 'they' needed something to share in your dreams? Not her?"
>Heerser just smiles wider: a big, warm, knowing smile, with nary a shit-eating trace to be found.
>"They would share in your pain, in your very past, in such an intimate manner? I don't think you fully appreciate just how fortunate you are to have those two in your life."
>Urge to binge eat rising.
>"And a stallion as private as you, so willing to let them in?"
>Yeah, now acting on that urge.
>"It's so rare to see that kind of love in this place. Seeing it in you is... refreshing."
>The limitations of your stomach mean nothing.
>"Deny it if you wish, Otherworldly Anonymous, but I can see your want for their presence, clear as day."
>Screw this guy, honestly.
>Double screw him for being right.
"I keep telling you I don't want to talk about this."
>"And I remain confused at your reluctance to speak of your connection to them."
"I'm not gonna say it again."
>"Very well," he sighs. "Goodness knows you've enough to think about at this moment."
>No fucking kidding.
>Fucking prophecies.
"Did she, uh, know how much of an... effect I'm having?"
"Y'know, Zaalma?"
>He definitely noticed your difficulty in getting her name out with a straight face.
>"She only mentioned there was one in effect, not the scope of it's power."
"W-well, uh, could you, y'know, find out?"
>"Why not ask her yourself?"
"No," you snap.
>The guy just sighs and rubs his temple, in a classic display of 'not this shit again'.
>"You can't expect to earn her trust if you ignore all contact with her."
"I can't really do much to earn it when she's biting my head off at every turn."
>His frown is one of disappointment.
"Besides, I distinctly remember her telling me that 'only blood and sacrifice' will prove shit to her."
>A frown that quickly changes to surprise.
>"She said that? To you?"
"Right after she scoped me out for this prophecy shit. I even asked her how bad I was messing with people, and she just told me 'not as much as I expected', like that's supposed to be a fucking answer!"
>Yep, the fists are back to clenched.
>He, meanwhile, maintains the look of surprise, before it tapers off to a small, sad frown.
>"So that's how it is, then?"
>"I... will inquire about that for you at a later time, Otherworldly Anonymous."
>Wait, what?
"No, hold on, what happened to--?"
>"She is one of my closest friends. I won't speak of her when she is not present."
>Oh for fuck's sake.
>How are those two friends, anyways?
>"All I can ask is for you to try and bear with her."
>Add that to the list of things that's not happening.
>"In any case, it would seem that your entanglement with fate hasn't been the detriment it has been made out to be. I appreciate your honesty in divulging the details on it, though."
"Y-yeah. I..."
>"It must be hard, no?"
"What do you mean?"
>"You're quite a free spirit, a veritable maverick. To learn that something has been guiding your actions must be..."
>He didn't need to finish that sentence.
>"I'm certain you will discover the truth in time. You and your--"
>`Otherworldly Anonymous!`
>Oh hello, that's definitely Vegter from off to the side.
>And sure enough, there he is with a slightly dopey quality to his smirk in your direction.
>Three guesses as to why that might be.
>`Heerser! You done making him sad?`
>`That depends a good deal on what it is you want from him.`
>`Got a deal for him! Something to cheer him up!`
>`Oh? What might that be?`
>`Otherworldly Anonymous! You broke my axe!`
>Oh fuck, here we go.
>`We even now, yes?`
>"He's asking if you two are--"
`Guess. So?`
>`Hahahah! More than guess! Know for sure!`
>"Otherworldly Anonymous? Since when could you speak our language?"
"Since last night."
>"Dare I ask how that came to pass?"
"No offense, but I needed to be a lot more drunk to figure out the finer points of it."
>If his booming laughter was anything to go by, you'd say that he's taken no offense.
>"Hah! You certainly speak it like a drunken zebra would!"
"Yeah, yeah, flow's all off. I know."
>"It's a start, for certain! Definitely an improvement over the obvious parroting from before!"
"Gee, thanks."
>`Heerser! Stop leaving me out!`
>`Oh, I am sorry about that, Vegter.`
>`Why not teach me to speak funny pony language?`
>`Well, you'd need to be a lot more sober to figure out the finer points of it.`
>Okay, that's funny for all parties.
>Already, you can feel some of the edge being taken off.
>`Anyways! Otherworldly Anonymous! Deal for you!`
`I'm. Listening.`
>`You fix my axe? I give you thing of yours!`
>A thing of yours...?
>`Vegter, are you sure you're allowed to do that?`
>`Hahahah! Very sure! So how about it?`
`What. Thing?`
>`Weird stick thing!`
>One of your staves!
`Thick. Or. Thin?`
>Shortstaff, then!
>Any staff's an improvement in your book!
`Only. If. I. Get. Gem. Thing. For. It!`
>`Gem thing? Why you need one?`
`Useless. Without. One.`
>`Only saw weird white pearl gem. That good?`
>`Hahahah! You better fix it good!`
>Oh, you'll find a way.
>You've gone entirely too long without a staff.
>`Heerser! Taking him to old alchemy shack!`
>`That's quite all right. I'll let his friends know.`
>`No more waiting! Come on then!`
>This time, his rush to get his shit back is very much mutual.
>"I hope you know what you're doing, Otherworldly Anonymous!"
"Not even a little bit, but I've got a hunch or two."
>"Then I hope your hunches are correct. We'll speak again later."
"All right!"
>The last thing you hear out of Heerser is a couple of mirthful chuckles, before you're led quickly out of this big relaxation area, into the big courtyard, and making trails for the smaller one.
>Already, you can see the zebra passers-by lighting up upon seeing you, with very few shooting you the stink eye.
>`They starting to like you!`
`I. Can. Tell.`
>`Hahahah! More fights for you then! Make them like you even more!`
`Guessed. So.`
>Right now though, you've got one question to ask while you follow his lead.
`You. Have. My. Staff? How?`
>`Staff? Called a staff?`
>`Hahahah! Nice name! Funny gem have name too?`
>Yeah, that was about as elegantly pronounceable in zebra-talk as English words are in Japanese.
>`Reeahfahlt? Weird name. What it mean? What it do?`
`Show. You. Later. But. How. You. Get. Them?`
>`Hahahah! Was there when your things were taken! Given to tribe members to hold on to!`
`At. Random?`
>`Yes! Keep you from raiding storeroom! And getting everything back easy!`
>Clever little bitches.
>`That mare back there? Gave staff to her! And gave funny gem to her sister!`
>`Hahahah! Convinced her to give it back!`
>He didn't really need to wiggle his eyebrows at 'convinced' for you to get his meaning.
>`Had to promise her foal!`
>Aaaaaand you officially no longer want to talk about this.
>`You make extra work for me now! Have to convince her sister now! Promise her foal too!`
`Get. The. Point!`
>`Hahahah! What you so afraid of? Everyzebra wins!`
`Enough. About. This.`
>`You should understand! Have your own mates!`
>`Hahahah! You strange!`
>He stops for a moment, something crossing his mind.
>`Wait. Why you not talk about mates so much? You stallion buggerer?`
>Oh, hell no.
>Your turn to stop in your tracks.
`Say. That. Again.`
>This scarred-up, mohawk-rocking, alpha Chad motherfucker did not just call you a fucking faggot.
>`Hahahah! That why you travel with bat and unicorn? And not your mates?`
`I. Will. Cut. You.`
>Yeah, laugh it up, asshole.
>`Hahahah! Just kidding! You not stupid enough to cheat on royalty!`
>Not even gonna turn the volume down in the crowds, is he?
>And right as you pass through the uncrowded archway into the small courtyard, no less.
>Great, that rumour's not gonna spread like wildfire, nosiree.
>`Although.` he murmurs, stopping for a moment with nobody around, `Was sure exile would tempt you!`
`What? Exile?`
>`Yes! Masked mare? Exiles wear masks!`
`Got. That. Part.`
>`Knew her before exile! Excellent fighter! Excellent alchemist! Very attractive! No stallion could keep their eyes off her! Perfect future mate! Remember fighting others over her! Good times!`
`You. Know. Her?`
>Never thought you'd see him look sad about something.
>`Shame what happened to her. But not allowed to go easy on her. She understands. Still not happy about yelling at her.`
`Wait. Wait. Who. Is. She?`
>`Not allowed to tell you. Nozebra allowed to tell you. Not even she allowed to tell you. Not while here in our land. Not even allowed to tell you what happened!`
>Of fucking course it's not gonna be that easy.
>`But will tell you this. Unfair what happened. Did not deserve exile. But why you asking about her?`
`She. Says. She. Knows. Me.`
`Calls. Me. Friend.`
>`Interesting! That why she helped you then! You know who she is?`
`Don't. Know. Really. Ashamed. Of. That.`
>She's supposed to be a friend, and yet you can't for the life of you dredge the name up.
>Ashamed's putting it mildly, as if driving her away wasn't bad enough.
>`Hmm. I think about that. Maybe find way.`
`Find. Way?`
>`No more about exile! Depressing! Need your mood for fixing! Need my mood for rutting!`
>Okay, you don't need to hear any more about that.
>Mercifully, he doesn't continue the convo along those lines, but that smirk of his tells you that he really, really wants to.
>Just another thing to add to the pile of curiosities.
>But as long as you're gonna keep drawing a total blank on the name, all you can do is file it away and hope it'll come to you later.
>Right now, you've got this asshole's axe to fix.
>And he leads you to, uh...
>Well, that is definitely an old shack.
>Seriously, it's made out of mostly sticks and tree bark, held together with cordage of some variety.
>None of which seemed particularly structurally sound.
>But hey, at least it doesn't look like it'd hurt much if it collapsed, so there's that.
>Waiting inside was a small altar with his axe and a few small bags full of something, and standing beside it was that one mare he tried to bone.
>Well, maybe not 'tried' anymore.
>You'll just avert your eyes at their little lip-locking session, shall you?
>And just pretend you didn't hear all their dirty talk, for good measure.
>Extra mercifully, he leads her outside of the shed when he starts asking about her sister.
>Soon enough, you're alone.
>Okay, thank God.
>Now, this axe.
>Looking it over, it looked like...
>Those etch marks are deeper than you'd like, and the symbols are very much foreign, but that's definitely got the hallmarks of animus enchantment.
>Next up is the pouches, opened in short order to reveal...
>Just like in that crystal-dick golem you bled on to win.
>The colour was different, but that is unmistakably animus.
>The other bags held bottle corks with big needles stuck in them.
>Very crude compared to your etching focus, but with the symbols practically pre-drawn for you?
>You can do this.
>Man, it's good to be back to work like this.
>This is shaping up to be a good day, already.
I tried to do two a week this time, honest! But man, losing steam halfway through the week like that wasn't very conducive to getting my schedule back on track. To think, I only squeezed out four updates last thread! Gonna have to improve on that for sure. After all, how else am I supposed to squeeze in the murder this thread with that kind of pace?
Well, whatever dark magic I tap into to get that pace restored, hope you're enjoying it all the same. Ignore, filter and shitpost in the comments down , and absolutely remember to filter this string! https://pastebin.com/D8zmMPD4
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Good stuff as always, HK. The bit where Anon drifts towards binge eating with no other narrative accompaniment for that bit was a bit odd though.
Heeser's take on things was an interesting read. I hope it helped ease Anon's concerns. I think it'll do some good for Anon to get into Maker mode for a bit. Hopefully it'll help him gain some clarity. Eh, maybe one of the alchemists will come across him and they'll start exchanging tips. It would at least be a start to Anon gaining their trust. Good update as always HK. I look forward to reading the next one.
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The part where he smashes the table was allso a little odd.

Prose Equus 5

>A little over two weeks have passed since you were brought to the Halls of Asgard. Since going out with Baldur and subduing his nephew, Svaolifari, you had taken to walking the streets of the city when the prince was busy. At first he insisted on coming along with you, saying he could afford to delay his duties, but you explained that you could take care of yourself being nearly twice his age, you believe he just wanted to spend time with you.
>Princess Loki still serves her grounding in her room and you knew better than to ask Queen Sleipnir for a tour. You were more than happy to meet Her in the occasional passing moment.
>Today you find yourself at the southern keep along the wall, in the chamber where Heimdall watches his well from an elevated walkway in the shape of a horseshoe. You occasionally feel his gaze glance down towards you as you swing around a war hammer long as your torso.
>”Enjoying yourself, are we?” you hear as you hop back after a particularly wide swing.
>You glance up to the watchpony.
“Just getting a feel for your steel. It’s lighter than it looks, it reminds me of the armor the Griffons wear. Right after I joined the guard, the Griffons perfected a metal that weighs as much as a feather when they wear it but stops an arrow cold.”
>Heimdall looks away from his all-seeing charge directly at you. “The griffons can do -that-?”
“Correction; they -did- do that.”
>You smirk at him and rest the hammer on your shoulder.
>Heimdall looks to the middle distance and nods his head. “It would appear the mortals have grown since I last looked at them in earnest.”
“What do you mean?”
>Heimdall looks around the room, noticing that the two of you were the only ones in it, for the moment, the signals for you to come up to his level. You swiftly climb the ramp.
>”It is true that the enchantment upon my eyes permits me perfect clarity to look through the Bifrost upon all who walk upon Midgard…but perfect focus? I’m afraid that is the realm of our Queen alone.”
>He gestures to the cacophony of lights. “Imagine looking over a gathered crowd of one-hundred ponies. You may begin being able to concentrate upon each of their faces, but with time the picture loses focus. To see the whole, you must broaden your vision, and miss the details.”
>You wrap your head around it and nod.
“Hoe does she do it?”
>”She doesn’t blink.”
>Of course.
“To view it all would drive anyone mad.”
>”Ah, but the Queen does. Her ravens fly out around the Nine Realms every day and return to her each night to whisper what they saw into her ears.”
“That’s a lot to take in…”
>”Aye. Which is why she calls upon the aid of a watcher.”
>You let the gatekeeper toot his own horn and try to focus on the colors swirling through the well.
“This gives me a headache.”
>Heimdall takes a deep breath before he speaks. “You’re looking into the Bifrost as you would look out a window. To gaze from Asgard to Midgard is no simple feat. First; empty your mind and un-focus your eyes, let the well reach into you with its visions. When you feel it take hold, begin to focus. The well will show you what you need see.”
>You obey the watchpony’s instructions, slowly emptying your mind of thought and focusing only on the colors before you.
>At first, they only produce the same stabbing pain behind your eyes as they did before, but you relax and see the sharpness of the edges melt into each other. Reds become blues become purples as the tunnel expands before you down to the world below. You feel a sensation within your thoughts, like a loved one reaching forth to shake your hand and begin to focus.
>Soon you see what the well wants to show you and you smile.
>A group of ponies and a small purple dragon cheerfully march through the woods. Each of the girls laughs or smiles with each other and they appear just as happy as they were the day you had last seen them, before taking off in secret.
>It pains you how you left the girls, but back then it was what you felt was all you could do. Better to leave with the memory of you as you were rather than see you get older and slower, only to have to watch you get your head caved in by some monster when you got too old.
>This god business threw a wrench into that idea.
>Hemdall must have glanced at you, because he speaks up.
>”See something you like?”
“My friends…the ones I had before I died.”
>He takes a place next to you and focuses his eyes. “Aaahh yes, the young Princess of Friendship. I remember the day I informed my Queen about her ascension. Full of surprises, that one.”
“Heh, yeah, she can be.”
>You try to focus some more.
“I don’t recognize where they are though…”
>Heimdall tilts his head. “Mm… a place where old heroes rest. The Shrine of the Pillars at the edge of your kingdom.”
>Never heard of it…must be a bookworm thing.
>”They must-“ Heimdall cuts off.
“…What is it, Heimdall?”
>”There. In the forest.” He says. “Something has their scent, sneaking in along their flank… Are any of them trackers, No-name?”
>Heimdall doesn’t get an answer. Instead, you clutch the hammer in your hands and leap into the Bifrost.
>You can just hear Heimdall call your name before you pass through the event horizon.
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>It went by Ponehenge to most, the shrine of ancient rock and stone that housed the spirits of the Pillars of Equestria, the heroes that protected the kingdom back in times of old.
>Today it serves as the destination for a gaggle of friends seeking to solve yet another friendship problem.
>Twilight Sparkle leads the way alongside her protégé, Starlight. Her ever present friends, the other Bearers of Harmony follow behind them, along with an orange coated pony in a thick cloak that spoke with a city accent. Along with them traveled young Spike, the kindest and most considerate dragon anyone had ever called friend.
>Their mission at Ponehenge was one of discovery, trying to learn more of the ancient Pillars and, with luck, return them to the world. It should be one without danger.
>But things rarely are.
>Off some distance from them do they wait, six eyes spotting nine morsels for them all, enough food the last them the month.
>”The small one, I want him.” Says one, rising above the others on a body made of muscle.
>”You could never eat a dragon with your gangs” says another with horns. “Their scales are too thick.”
>”Then we’ll just have to cook it, won’t we?”
>”Are you two done talking? They’re getting further away.” the lead one says.
>It receives nods and wicked grins from its two sisters as all three take a step forward, already plotting their course that would take them around behind the herd of ponies and into prime striking distance.
>A cruel twist of fate, they thought, when something impacted the base of the tree they were about to pass and brought it crashing down in front of them.
>They leap back on four strong legs away from the tree and that which threw the metal hammer comes to collect it. It turns to them.
>You scoop up your war hammer and twirl it in your arms, getting the final feel for its weight you think you’d be able to get.
>You were a bit surprised, truly. A chimera? This far out? You were told they mostly lived in swamps or other places that fit their rancid personalities, this place seemed far too idyllic for them.
>The three-in-one beasts growl and snap at you, and the snake head tries to use its entrancing eyes on you. You can’t say you didn’t appreciate the directness, they all knew that you were going to try to stop them from reaching the girls and you knew that was what they wanted. There really wasn’t much reason to say anything else.
“I’ve always wondered…”
>You rest your hammer on your shoulder, a display of mockery to let your guard down.
“If I crack one of your skulls, will the other two heads feel it?”
>The tribunal of savagery pounces at you.
>Your fight training takes over and your first action is to test your theory. You hop back as the chimera land where you once were and swing your hammer wide, letting the goat in the side of the head and sending it crashing into the feline. To your absolute delight, the snake tail shakes her head; disoriented.
>You spin around for another tornado-strike, but the chimera ducks you and slashes at you with her claws. You only just get the handle of your weapon up to block them.
>Your legs buckle a bit under the weight of the patchwork creature and you see the intelligence behind its eyes that glimmer with the realization that she’s physically stronger than you. She leans up higher, putting more weight on you and pushing you down further.
>Need a plan. Need a plan fast.
>You cock your leg back and deliver a full force kick to the chimera’s chest.
>The monster lets out a yowl of surprise and pain and you use those scant seconds to disengage and get behind it.
>You prepare for a rebound strike but get immediately put on the defensive by the monster’s serpentine tail catching sight of you. It’s jaws snap and clap at you while its fangs drip with green poison and the other two heads shake off the pain.
>The snake retreats just as the chimera’s main body turns to face you, and dive at you with razor claws.
>You swing your hammer at it to give yourself some space and successfully strike one of its claws, but a single noise causes you both to pause.
>”Hold on Twilight, I just know I heard a noise over here…”
>Your mind freezes wondering what Fluttershy was doing over here.
>Time slows to the extent that the space between your heartbeats feels like an eternity. Thoughts flood your mind as you take immediate inventory of the situation.
>Setting: You were within a heavily wooded copse of trees, with one fallen over while others surrounded you. There was a chimera attacking you that you estimated probably weighed close to seven hundred pounds. You were currently lightly armored and armed only with a war hammer of Asgardian steel you pilfered.
>Problem: Fluttershy, one of your close friends from your old life, was approaching thanks to the sound of the tree you fell to keep the chimera from attacking the girls.
>Solution: Get Fluttershy to go away to safety.
>Second problem: Fluttershy seeing you after you’d more or less been dead for some time would no doubt be a shock to her and may cause her to hesitate or try to help you, during that time the chimera could get her. Also Queen Sleipnir might atomize you.
>Amended solution: Get her to leave without being caught.
>Course of action: Do this quietly.
>The chimera was still looking towards Fluttershy’s voice which meant you had about a second to do this.
>You silently hoped she wasn’t too close to hear this. You swung your war hammer as hard as you could and nailed the side of the feline head, disorienting them all again.
>Fluttershy doesn’t hear the impact, nor you keeping your momentum going and tackling the beast to the ground like an oversized dog. You places your shoulder on the neck of one of the heads and press down with the head of your hammer on the other, blocking their windpipes.
>”Is someone in there?” you hear her say.
>You instinctively grunt and risk letting her hear as the snake head darts from beneath its main body and lunges at you. The little blighter was faster than it looked and although you try to grab it, it jukes you and plants both its fangs into your forearm.
>A silent scream escapes out of your mouth as you somehow stifle your own voice despite the six inch incisors sending waves of pain to your brain. Still, you could use that.
>You whip your arm into the ground, snake head first, and press it down into the dirt. The serpent bites harder at the impact and you feel its toxin seeping into your flesh for the briefest of moments before you lose feeling in your wrist.
>All you could think of was Fluttershy, hoping she wouldn’t investigate further and would return to the others.
>The numbness spreads up your arm further as you kick your legs, trying to still the flailing of the chimera ‘s hind legs. Tall as you were, this beast has a good foot or more on you and you can’t wrangle its limbs with your own. You have no choice but to press further on each of its heads to suffocate it still.
>The poison can chew away at your arm and rot your heart a second time, but you wouldn’t let this monster near the girls so long as a breath remained in your lungs.
>Just as you were trying to slow your heartrate do slow the poison’s crawl through your veins, you hear something.
>”Fluttershy! Let’s go!” you hear Rainbow Dash say
>Your salvation comes shortly afterwards when Fluttershy, just on the other side of the tree above your head by the sounds of it, calls back “Eep! Coming!”
>You count the flaps as the chimera wrestles underneath you with its last bouts of consciousness until
you’re sure Fluttershy was gone.
“Heimdall!” you cough out. “Now!”
>A rainbow light shoots from the heavens and engulfs both you and the chimera.
Fucking cunt formatting.
>It was not Heimdall that hovers you and the chimera over the Bifrost, however.
>”Explain.” Queen Sleipnir says, flanked on either side buy guards with Heimdall at her side.
>You spare a glance to him.
>”My duty is to Asgard and its Queen, No-name. I had to.”
>Okay, that made sense…
>Sleipnir shakes you and sends you into a coughing fit, your arm still numb.
>”Explain to me why I was taken from my duties to drag my guest from Midgard where he chose to wrestle pests.” She demands.
>The chimera beside you, held in the silver grip of the Queen’s magic, looks around slack jawed at the grandiose gold chamber it found itself in.
>”Holy-! What in Euqestria-!”
>Her outburst gets the attention of the last pony she wanted.
>”Begone.” Sleipnir says, and with that the chimera is sucked back into the Bifrost screaming in fright.
>You tilt your head and watch her go.
“I worked hard to restrain her, you know…”
>The Queen snorts and floats you to her face to look at you with her single eye. She didn’t have to talk to demand you explain for a third time.
“My old friends…walking the forest. It was hunting them…would have eaten them if…no one got there.”
>You tilt your head towards Heimdall.
“He said so…”
>The God-Queen keeps her gaze upon you but addresses her watchman. “The truth, Heimdall?”
>”Aye, my Queen.”
>Back to you. “And protecting these mortals is to you worth losing your place in Asgard? In my presence?”
“A…hundred times…over…” you cough out. “They’re…everything to me. No God…or afterlife…is too much to keep them safe.”
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>Sleipnir floats you away from her face and nods, a single flash escapes from behind her eyepatch and you’re unceremoniously dropped to the floor.
>”I have prevented you from succumbing to the poison. It will still hurt. A lot.”
>And indeed it does, your veins felt like they were on fire, but you didn’t feel the toxin creeping towards your brain or heart anymore.
“How magnanimous of you…”
>Sleipnir turns to one of her guard. “Take him to a healing room and flush the poison from his body. When he is able to hold a weapon again, send him to Tyr upon the northern wall. He will see to our No-name.”
>The guard salutes and gets you onto his back. You spot the war hammer you had borrowed on the floor before it’s whisked up by silver magic.
>Sleipnir looks over the fresh blood and dirt on it. “This will be returned to you when you earn it back.” She says no more, simply walking away from you.
“Heh…better this than the alternative…”
>The guard carrying you glances back at you. “Five minutes with Lord Tyr will change your tune, No-name.
>You cough out a single chuckle and let him carry you off to recover.
Pastebin updated.
For 8th: https://pastebin.com/3wCKEHi5
Gibe thoughts

Hey, so, sorry for dropping off for so long like the old days, I didn't mean to. I was in a pretty fucking shit mood for almost ten days at the start of the month that I'm just now breaking through thanks to some old comfort games and meditation and other gay shit. Before I knew it, I looked at the calander and saw it was 3 weeks since I updated, so I made this.

Baring any more states of being a depressive sad sack or complications with my new job, I'll see you all again next time. Fags.
his cutie mark is a buttplug
The joke is that she's a tight ass.
Not when I'm through with her
Hey pretty Mandroid. I'm glad you're feeling better and thanks for the update. Good luck with work and see you next update.
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Thanks based HK


Next pone?
Awww. A bit of a tear jerker. The pic wasn't bad either. Thinking nursing other back to health has me voting for Fluttershy next.
Do the sun horse next, you Llanowar Elves lookin' ass.
Flutters was the first one I did. and rarara of course, who was my last post
Still looking for contender on pinoi

M6 first, silly-willy. I'll do 3 bg/secondary ponies after.
Oh, well, damn. I must have missed that one. Thanks for the link. uh, Rainbow Dash then?
Really love the story. Cant wait to meet tyr.
I'd like to see Twiggles, but if you're doing the mane 6 first, I guess you'll get to all of them eventually.
With this horrible finale, I really need some stories about fixing what's broken.
I Havent used /mlp/ in awhile and I decided to check AiE to see if you were still posting, you have not disappointed.
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I disappoint every time I still wake up in the afternoon having not choked on my tongue.
trip or kys
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According Image MD5 last time you used posted that image on /mlp/ was 2013. Thats when this thread was actually good.
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Settle down shitposter-kun. Good is what we make of it, don't let things outside of your control determine the enjoyment or quality of your life.

Also yeah, I've been doing a deep dive on my reaction folder instead of just using whichever appropros one I find first. Here's another one.
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No I can safely say that AiE hit its peak in 2013. The amount of green, writefags and shitposting was magical that year. I mean whole threads would go to shit with just the mere mention of shinobi.
We clearly have different ideas of what constitutes quality then. All I remember from 2013 is being really stressed out that everyone was causing so much fucking internal drama over horse fanfiction on a Laotion testicle washing forum that it nearly caused a divorce and a few suicides.

Y'all motherfuckers need to learn how to remove the pinecone, I'll take this sane and calm Aie if it means we move a bit slower.
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Well I'm sorry you are just an old and salty writefag who can't look back and enjoy what once was. Maybe its time to join all the other dead writefags.
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Old as I may be, the only thing I'm salty about was that 2013 didn't feature a machine that let me punch people through the internet so I could have done something about people I know being such fantastic blithering retards about their gay personal drama that they lost all sense of perspective.

I actually really enjoy writing, even if I don't do it nearly as often.
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Drama wasnt even that bad, most of it was just shitposting
I'm not lying when I say "a divorce and two suicides". I'm taking the names with me to the grave because I'm not a cunt, but 2013 was nothing but who's fucking/wants to fuck who drama completely ignorant of where in the fuck we are. If you want your dick wet, go keep that shit in your personal life, don't shit up my thread where I'm trying to write a story about Rarity taking The Knot.
I sleep now, good talk Anon.
he mad
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seriously though, 2013 was a fun year like I said. But get some sleep and come back less cranky.
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There is
>good story experience
>good community experience
It won't hurt anycreature to point out what really makes them wet. I know most of us will say both, but hey, we may see the same things from different angles, and as Celestia said, there's no wrong way to imagine, and that means only one thing, she doesn't lurk this board.
It was a good year for green but that was it. Shitposting was as bland as it always is and the drama wasn't even good.
Threads would go to shit at the mention of Shinobi? Like 1 in every 5 tries would and it would be the next 30-40 posts.

Mandroid is a salty old cunt but the rose tinted goggles on you are so rosey you've missed most of the view.
hrw you ask who can save your eternal soul
Man, this board is popular today.
I can't speak for how the thread has been way back when as I've only been here for 3 or 4 years but I like how the thread is now. Some good green and some; ah, lively discourse.
Uh oh.
+1 Pink
+1 RD
+1 Purple
One more vote for a tie breaker
Woops meant >>33059913
huh? How about roll and D30? 1-10 Pink, 11-20 Dash and 21-30 Twi
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Finale? The ride has ended? I was able to stay away until it ended?
I rolled some dice.
I also had to change my video format and crop/compress 5 times and it still wouldn't upload. Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way.
Nope. I assume that Anon was talking about the season finale. There's still one more season planned for FiM.

Honestly, I thought this season finale was pretty good. Having the villain be an otherwise normal sociopath instead of a legendary creature or MacGuffin-empowered bad guy was a bold move by the writers. I say it paid off. Solid 9/10, would inquire about Tartarus' visiting hours to book bad guy snoot.
*boop. I meant boop, not book. Goddamn autocorrect.
I've no experience with it myself. The irony is your die is purple yet purple didn't get a single hit.

I agree. The only nagging questions for me is how were they "pen pals" and why wasn't the mail being screened?
Oh, ok. I don't even remember where i stopped, i think the last thing i saw was niece alicorn being born, i don't even know how many seasons there are.
Nice, thanks for the dice rolling, based >>33061443 anon.
Ponk wins this round.
Ponk a shit.
Ponk may be a shit but at least she is never not DTF
she a thot then, which makes her shit
ponk is indeed one of my least fav pinois, but she far from a shitty

[Citation Needed]
>[Citation Needed]
How about her biweekly public gangbangs?
Dude... Anybody else here been present since Thread 1 and before? I was thinking tonight that I've got so many memories from high school and even colter from these threads and mlp; when I have these thoughts it's like a wave of... I don't know, sadness maybe, washes over me. It's so hard to describe... I miss Aether, Pale, and dashisbestpone...
People got lives, man. Everyone here works full time and some people from here had to go off and work 50+ hours a week, gotta do what we gotta do.
Don't be sad that it's over, be happy that it happened.
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I'm just glad that for the most part, most dead writefags didn't nuke their buns,
Doesn't mean they're there forever. In RGRE one of the big writefags had chunks nuked on their behalf by pastebin cause they weren't pro.
Get pro, writefags. It's not THAT much to secure a future for your childish fanfics.
I appreciate your reply. I graduated from college last December and I got a job immediately and moved away from family and home. I don't know if I'm in a good place right now and it's like y'all have all been my family, in a fucked up way. Rock this night anon, rock it. Also, this is only my fourth post in approximately ten years. You drug it outta me man, along with some tears.
>most dead writefags didn't nuke their buns,
>nuke their buns
yep typo, but Im sure some did nuke their buns
It's understandable, Anon. I've been here since thread one and know how you feel. Take some deep breaths and have a think about what you have at your disposal, my advice is to find a "comfort game" or something, something that always makes you happy to experience, and go through that. You'll be surprised how much better you come out at the other side.
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Ancient writefag who was there in the beginning here. Don't be sad, be happy that it happened.
The first 3 seasons of the show really were exceptional, there was so much energy and creativity being explored. All we had in those first few years were little ponies in a big, mysterious world full of the unknown.

>>33063018 rings true because that's exactly what happened to the majority. I personally know 3 old writefags who dropped this stuff to focus on college.

The best part though, is that quite a few of us formed friendships that have lasted. I'm still in contact with a few from the single/double digit thread era myself.

It was a lot of fun. Here, have this piece of autistic nostalgia. Most of the old, original writers that people still occasionally mention to this day were involved in the old official tinychat room, which itself evolved over the years. This scene was from the MEPNet room.
>the first 3 seasons of the show really were exceptional
Ill say the first two seasons, 3 changed the board.

I would nuke Mandroid's buns
Oh shit, I hope somebody's backing everything up.
No you wouldn't, I'm hairy.
My gay friends say I have a nice butt though.
Old name for giggles, cause why not.

Can't say I've been part of AiE since thread 1, but I was probably lurking around then. Didn't start writing for AiE until June of 2012. Don't really know what thread number it was - it was before we put thread numbers in the titles.

I've actually been on a little runaround of self-discovery recently, and my memories of these threads are generally fond. Except for my early posts. Holy shit who let me near a computer. Don't do what I did though - getting lost in memories is easy to do. It was a lot of fun, sure; but just because fun happened in the past, doesn't mean it can't happen in the future too.

Also, I didn't really engage much with non-thread interactions with people from these threads. It's not really anything personal, I'm just an introvert to an extreme. Probably.

Slightly unrelated: Early on someone pointed out how much I had written, and it really messed me up. I legit hadn't paid attention to the total number of words written until that point. Still don't know why it messed me up so bad.

Sorry for the /soc/

I remember when you first started posting, you got popular fast. Haven't read any of your stuff in a long time though, I do vaguely remember Dynamic entry and some goo pony stuff.
Of course season 3 started the slow death spiral for the board.
I was mainly referring to the first half of S3 which was still full speed ahead.
Write more, faggot.
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I still have my reaction post ready as soon as you come back to AiE.
We're not talking about ur mum.
I was in a dark place for a while and one of the things that kept me going was this stupid, autistic, wonderful thread.

I will come here once a day until it's gone.

And I love all of you.
While I may not know who you are, what your name is, what you look like, and what you've been through, I can say that I genuinely care for you. In a way, I care for everyone. Everyone who posts on this board is a human being. Sometimes we forget that.
I can't say it any better that this >>33064522 . I have hopes for all you beautiful Anons.
you're a faggot and I hope whatever's going on gets better
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Is the irc still used or just an idlefest?
This seems to be one of the few generals that didn't go for the discord botnet garbage.
What the fuck is up with all the private or deleted stories in the paste lists? Someone really needs to go through and delete them or find some working links or something.
pastrybin deletes after a long time of no views
There's some people on Discord and some people on Skype.
Last I was in there there was like 3 people in it and 2 of them don't even pone anymore.
Well again, someone needs to start going through and update the list, and back shit up on film fiction or something
How long is long?
A year, two?
I took the step of saving stories I liked after one writefag deleted his bin. Got 1060 .htm pages of pastebin green at this point. Makes you wonder how much green we've generated over eight seasons.
I’m tempted to just start going through the list later tonight and just copy pasting everything to fimfiction
Talk like this makes me silently thankful for that guy a year or so back who gifted me Pastebin Pro. Thanks to you, my autism will be preserved for future generations.
You fuck.
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Assuming dropbox hasn't imploded while I wasn't watching I've got copies of everything I've written.
So when the new Gen comes out will we have a renaissance of green? GOD PLEASE
I don't think it will, but it really just comes down to how good gen 5 ends up being.
Don't you get my hopes up
me too

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