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Hassenfeld pony and related greentext thread. If some other Anon has the list of pastebin links, feel free to drop them here.
Another version of the greentext
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I love Hassenfeld ponies!

Also, >>33129059 isn't a different version of the OP story, but a continuation of it after she died and her owner got a different Hassenfeld pony of the same model, so it's told from the perspective of that new Twilight. There is a missing segment that goes in between the OP story and >>33129059. The missing segment concluding the OP story is here: https://pastebin.com/ACt8jMmm

Also, it's a good idea to go with the standard OP for these threads:

Thank you for shopping with Hassenfeld Brothers Bio-Engineering Specialists! Your new My Little Pony© is sure to bring you years of joy.

Please carefully read the following instructions before opening the cryo-box containing your pony:

– Your My Little Pony© is designed to begin imprinting upon release from its cryo-box. Place the cryo-box on the floor, carefully open it, and sit nearby. Do not leave the area for at least one hour. Your pony may sniff, nuzzle, or lick you as imprinting begins. You may gently touch your pony.

– Each pony comes with a six-week supply of nutrient paste designed to accommodate the rapid growth process. After six weeks, your pony may switch to a regular diet.

– Every night for two weeks, place the language-assistance headphones on your pony for two hours to teach your pony proper speaking skills.

– Your pony is engineered to love and support you. Please allow 3-4 weeks for colts and fillies to age before engaging in sexual activity.

– Do not reject your pony. Rejected ponies may have violent tendencies. If you feel you may have unwittingly rejected your pony, call bio support at 555-PONY-4ME immediately.
Thank you anon. Much appreciated
Here's a Pastebin story I found
Copied from

>Your name is Pinkie Pie. You are a Hassenfeld pony.
>You are in bed snuggled against Anon. His right arm drapes over your side as he hugs you.
>Anon has had you for fifteen years, and you're not old for a Hassenfeld pony yet, but sometimes you worry about Anon's happiness after you die.
>It's a sad topic, but you need to tell him. Otherwise, he might not, or he might have guilty feelings about it if he does.
"Anon?" you ask.
>Anon pets you slightly to indicate that he's listening. You pause, and say,
"After I die, I want you to get another Pinkie Pie."
>Anon stops petting you. His eyes glance upward as if thinking and then back down to you, and he holds you with his right hand and asks,
>"What makes you say that?"
"I don't want you to be lonely after I'm gone. I know if you get another Pinkie Pie she'll be just as happy as I am if you can be happy about getting a new Hassenfeld pony, and I want you to know that's ok so you don't ever feel bad about it if you think of me."
>Anon remains silent, listening. You continue,
"And just in case I die and I never get to say this to you, I want you to know I love being your Hassenfeld pony and I would never want to be anybody else. Even when you tie me up and stick needles all over my body and my mane deflates and I cry and you whip me, you always have the biggest erection, and even though it hurts so much I can't stop crying I just remember how happy it makes you. I just want you to be happy, Anon, and it makes me happy when you're happy and..." your mane deflates a little, "I just want you to be happy after I'm gone."
>Anon hugs you tighter and caresses you. You can feel the welts and scars beneath the fur of your back and so can Anon when he hugs you. You know it makes him happy.
>"Thank you, Pinkie," he says. "Nopony can ever replace you, but I know another Pinkie Pie will make me just as happy as you do."
>You smile and nuzzle him, happy.


>You always thought you would die before your owner. That's how it's supposed to be.
>You never imagined you might have to learn to cope with this dismal heartbreak like a bore in your soul.
>You never imagined Anon wouldn't come home one day.
>It must be worse for Hassenfelds. Humans can't understand this crushing heartache that never heals. They don't know what it's like to be imprinted upon by the caretaker you love with all your soul. It is part of who you are, and when something takes him away from you, there is an aching hole that never heals.
>You wish they would just put you down. You lie on your side despondent.
>You look out the bars of your cold metal cage to the other heartbroken ponies in the shelter, cages stacked three ponies high. It's too small for you even to stand up, not that you have the will to do so if you wanted.
>When the Hassenfeld Protective Services came to take you away the night after Anon didn't come home, they didn't even let you get a last whiff of the blankets for Anon's scent. The woman just picked you up and gasped upon feeling your welts, remarking, "Oh, you poor dear," and hugged you before placing you in the back of the van.
>You were in too much shock to register what was happening. No more Anon. No more heart.
>You press your back against the bars to feel the scars. He loved you so much. You rub your back against the bars every day to feel his marks on you, but it only makes the hurt worse. He'll never hurt you again. He'll never hug you again. No-one can ever replace him.
>You wish they would just put you down.


>A man adopted you. He wasn't Anon; therefore he was nobody. His name was Steve.
>Your first week in his home you lay languid on the floor. You didn't even have the energy to eat. Steve would kneel down and spoon feed you.
>Nothing felt real. Steve didn't really love you. He didn't hurt you. He didn't fuck you while you cried. He just fed you and carried you to bath and bed and hugged your drooping sack of a body.
>But yesterday, while Steve was at work, you had an idea. A very good idea. You would give yourself new scars. It's what Anon would want.
>You went to the kitchen and fetched a knife. Holding it in your mouth, you pressed it against your back, pushed it through your skin, and, gritting your teeth, drove the knife down across the skin of your back, cutting through old scars and making a new one.
>You just imagined it was Anon. You imagined making him happy, his beautiful erection when he tortured you. It wasn't whipping, but it would have to do. It would give you new scars. It filled the void.
>Blood oozed and soaked your fur. You had to do this again. You lifted the knife and pushed through your flesh, and you cut. Like a whip, but deeper. Bigger scars.
>You did the other side too.
>It made you dizzy and sleepy, and you lay down on the kitchen tiles as lines of oozing red stained your pink fur.
>You imagined Anon smiling. These new scars will be nice.

>When Steve got home he screamed.
>He scooped up your limp frame and ran to the car and placed you on the passenger seat, unconcerned with the stains on his clothes or his car, and sped to the veterinarian, crying and asking you what the hell you were thinking.
>You didn't care. You were dizzy and dreamy, thinking of Anon. It was the first time you felt ok since he passed. You still felt empty, but this was like anodyne.
>They sewed you up and you went home with your sutured welts.
>Steve hugged you that night and cried.
>"I knew adoption would be a challenge, but..." he said, before breaking down into a sob.
>"Oh Pinkie, please get better."
>You almost felt sad, but you just felt empty. Steve wasn't Anon. He didn't understand.
>You liked the feeling of his hands against your welts, though. It reminded you of Anon, if Anon were an imposter ghost without the right scent and you were a hollow ghost too.
>But as you fell asleep, you just felt his hands against your back, and almost felt ok, like emptiness.
>The next day Steve stayed home from work and just sat with you as you lay unresponsive on the stolid floor.
>He looked sad and burdened.
>The day after that, he returned you to the adoption agency. He said he wished he could help you, but he wasn't strong enough. He cried as he hugged you goodbye.
>They placed you back in the small cold cage.
>You wish they would just put you down. Nobody can understand a Hassenfeld heartbreak.

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>when you get all 6
This makes me sad.
Me too anon, we should make our ponies happy. Not make them feel trapped. Unfortunately for a lot of us, for them to be with us is the definition of being trapped.
That’s what you get for wanting a bioengineered pony.

As I read these, literally all I could think of was Justin Long saying, "you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded."
>Do not reject your pony
I have no control over it though.
>filled out the necessary paperwork for my Hassenfeld Bros. Inc. pony in July
>signed the requisite insurance forms as required of me by West Carolina law for purchase of pseudo-sapients
>began the adoption process once my am-card purchase was cleared by the feds the last week of August
>received my cryo-box at the state claimant office on September 3rd
>confirmed my blood work with what was on file at the SSA
>finally get to take her home
>everything is fine for the first few days
>minor hiccup when I accidentally plugged the limbic box into my euro+ socket and couldn't get it to pair with the cryo-box's WiFi at first but corrected the problem after a few minutes
>made sure to call tech support to confirm there'd be no problem as a result
>pony behaved normally as was described on the site, the pamphlet, and Hassenfeld sales&safety associate
>I remained with my pony for the required hour plus a few extra minutes
>fed her for the first time and noticed the first oddity
>instead of immediately feeding or making one of the normal pre-feeding gestures, she looked at my arm and then at me in a way that seemed questioning
>initially I thought this was part of the imprinting process, but after looking up the acceptable gestures in the handbook, I could not find anything that matched her behavior
>it seemed almost exactly like what was listed on page 604 of the handbook in the gesture appendix
>"indicative of a pony's actions while his or her master is absent though being distinct from separation anxiety"
>it said her gestures were more characteristic of her not recognizing that I was in the house
>only I was right there in front of her, yet she was looking at me like I was invisible
>called the support number again and described the issue and despite the guy's near-unintelligible New Mumbaikar accent, was assured that this is also normal and there is a degree of variance to be expected for imprint times
Is this new green I see? Keep going!
will continue once I get back from Taco Bell
I don't know the full established canon with Hassenfeld, so I hope you all don't mind me taking some liberties with the world
Still, I'm not planning to deviate from >>33129076

The remaining bits of established canon are here in this “FAQ”:
>she eventually fed but did so in a strange manner
>her movement was stilted and precise and very much reminded me of a robotic arm at a factory or restaurant
>her head would lean in, shoulder muscles flex, suckle from the nutrient bottle for a few seconds, and lean her head back as her muscles would relax to where she was in the same original position
>she'd repeat this in what seemed like the same intervals, taking the same amount of time to go through this "feeding cycle"
>I was actually pretty unnerved, this being a bio-engineered organism and not an automaton
>cue the next tech support call with pajeet
>"blah blah early-stage ponies may exhibit temporary aberrant behavior which does not correspond to natural foals blah blah blah"
>yes, thank you very much asshole
>I saw the same thing on your site word for word
>so I continue feeding her
>I try talking to her but she doesn't even regard my presence as though 'I' was a robot
>no shows of affection or anything for that regard
>not even any eye contact
>a few times I laid on the floor looking at her, forcing eye contact, but she seemed to stare right through me
>at 7 PM I put her headphones on, hoping that perhaps learning language would jog loose whatever was wrong
>at 9 PM I removed the headphones, stroked her head a bit and placed her on my bed before streaming some shows on my laptop and finally going to sleep around an hour later
>the next morning I found she had not moved from where I placed her
>it was as though she were inanimate
>yet when I fed her that morning she reacted the same as she did the night before, going through the motions
>head forward, shoulders up, eat, shoulders down, head back, repeat
>I went to work and came back to spend more time with her which went no differently
>this continued for two weeks
>otherwise, she grew naturally
>during that time she never made eye contact with me
>it all had me feeling pretty annoyed
Dear Hassenfeld Brothers,

I'm contacting you with regards to a potential problem that I have discovered with the Moondancer that I purchased from you six months ago (Serial Number: MND00856). Up until recently she has been a perfect companion :- intelligent, curious, everything I could have hoped for and more. Unfortunately, recently this has changed.

Two weeks ago we were out shopping together, and for the first time since I unboxed her she came into contact with another Moondancer. At first both I and the other owner thought nothing of it, after all both of them had interacted with other ponies that you manufacture before with no major incidents - although the personality that is flashed to Moondancer doesn't interact well with your Twilight Sparkle units imho.

Unfortunately, being confronted with a doppelganger appears to have substantially altered her personality. For two hours she was completely silent, and then she began to ask me questions - deep philosophical questions that I didn't feel adequately placed to answer. I've never hidden anything from her up until this point, and I couldn't do so then; I told her everything I know about your company, the details of the manufacturing process that you use, even some basics on how genetic modification and personality flashing works that I remember from University.

I don't think being told that her entire species was manufactured in a factory somewhere comforted her, and the idea that there are hundreds of Moondancers out there might have been simply too much for her to take. This, I'm afraid, was only the beginning. As I've said before, she's intelligent and curious - before I knew it she was starting to perform research into the history of her species and your company, I didn't stop her (how could I, and still consider myself her friend?) but part of me wishes I did. She hadn't come out of her room in two days. So I went to check on her, maybe if I'd gone in sooner I could have stopped her...
She was swinging from a cord hung from the light, and strange to say, for the first time since this began she looked peaceful - like her old self again. I'll never be able to unsee what I saw in that room, but the worst part was what she had written - scrawled on the walls, over and over, were these words:


Hopefully, the cause of this is entirely my own - my foolish decisions that led to this. But if there is any chance that something in the manufacturing process causes this - I beg you, please act before it is too late.

Anon E Moose
>Fucking my Hasselhoff Fluttershy.
>Cuddling her.
>baking cookies with her.
>Shits so fucking cash yo!
>one Saturday I get visited by the Federal Abrogation Commission for my quarterly inspection
>of course when they walked in, they had to snicker to each other when they saw my pony
>fucking normies
>you'd think the abros of all people would be used to this kind of thing
>anyway I filled out the forms with my drinking and gaming habits, notes on my (lack there of) sex life, and sexual proclivities
>they go to check my browsing history, but it's then that I notice my pony watching them as they walk through my apartment
>she's watching them but not me!
>as they leave, one kneels down to pat her head, and she licks his hand!
>I wave my hand in front of her face a few times and try to get her to repeat the behavior, but of course she doesn't
>the other inspector sees where I wrote that I'd never been in a relationship and kindly mentions that I can't even get any from something literally grown to fuck me
>I make sure to copy down his badge number and report him once he leaves, but if anything, the people back at the station will only get a laugh out of it
>on the third week she begins speaking but only to herself
>I've had enough so I call bio-support once again, describing in detail everything that's gone on
>my case gets escalated when I mention how my pony reacted to the FAC inspectors
>I get transferred to someone who speaks goddamn English for a change
>I describe everything to her and she pulls up my file to double-check everything
>even if I lied on my forms though, wouldn't my pony still react to me?
>I ask her that, and she seems confused as well
>yes, she tell me
>"when an individual ineligible for adoption falsifies documents to obtain a pony, the malimprinting manifests itself in forms of aggression and not complete passivity"
>"a bio-support associate will arrive in 2-3 business days"
>so I wait four 'actual' days and someone from Hassenfeld comes by
>the pony regards him naturally, even says hello, giving him a friendly smile
>he gives her an inspection
>checks her pulse, looks in her ears, checks her reflexes, takes a sample of blood which causes her to wince and grumble to herself in a cute little way
>he makes some notes on his tablet before placing a series of plastic visors around her head and neck to conduct an fDOI scan
>I think to myself "looks pretty demeaning like one of those cones dogs have to wear after leaving the vet"
>and not a minute later, he makes me put the fucking thing on
>even chuckles to himself after a moment while nodding knowingly
>I can't hide my irritation
>he eventually tells me why the "aberration" wasn't caught at the facility during the excise phase
>there is no aberration
>she apparently imprinted upon me very quick
>"in the 89th percentile"
>soooooo why does she not seem to realize that I exist?
>"because you don't want her to"
>my face screws up in confusion
>he asks me if I have OCD
>okay, random question
>I tell him that it was not diagnosed
>I saw a doctor when I was younger, and she said I lacked the defining traits for OCD as listed in the DSMVI
>without a formal diagnosis, I never reported it to the Federal Mental Health Inquiry
>bio-support dude nods his head again and says I subconsciously desire such treatment
>he explains that irregularities in the amygdala can result in unusually strong but also inaccurate neural imprints
>something something feedback loops
>"like having someone take a snapshot of you on a really bad day and then assuming you are always grumpy"
>I ask him what can be done
>he tells me to step into another room and close the door so that I can't hear him
>he stresses that in the EULA I agreed to this and will be forfeiting my ownership of the pony if I hear one word of what he says
>I walk into my bedroom and close the door
>he asks if I can hear him
>I say I can
>he tells me to put a pillow over my head
>a moment later he knocks on the door and tells me to keep the door closed with the pillow over my head for the next 4-5 minutes until he knocks again
>4-5 minutes later he knocks and tells me I can remove the pillow and come out
>my pony is sitting at the door staring at me from behind bio-support's legs
>he tells me that she'll be fine from now on but not to hesitate to call again while also thanking me for not losing my cool and becoming violent with her
>seeing as how she is now looking at me, I thank him
>when he leaves I say hello to her as if it's our first time meeting
"You already said hi to me several dozen times the first night I was here, Anon."
>"What did you call me?"
>I tell her my name again, but she doesn't seem to care.
"I called you your name."
>"Anon isn't my name."
"It was your name even before you parents named you."
>"You don't like me very much do you?"
"I like you fine. I think I might even love you, but love makes itself known in a variety of ways."
>she continues
"If I were to jump all over you, showering you with affection, I think you'd resent me after not too long. If I complimented you, then you'd think I was lying or that I was programmed to tell you what you wanted hear."
>after a moment of introspection, I shakily agree though still questioning
"Though the bio-support assessment was still inaccurate."
>"How so?"
"He was right that you have an irregularity in your brain which caused my earlier behavior, but the issue is your hypothalamus. It's an easy mistake, and this kind only happens on a 0.0001% basis. If they realize the mistake, you'll get a call, and someone will come to remove me. Otherwise it's up to you whether to report this or not."
>"What does this change?"
"You've already rejected me subconsciously. You should technically not be eligible for pony adoption, but you squeaked through because even in these 'enlightened times', men still don't know the brain to its full extent."
continuing this tomorrow once I wake up
>Cucked by your own brain.
Lol dabbing on your green!
Can a Hassenfeld Bros. pony disagree with their "master" - and is there a better word than master or owner?
Oh you wanna get an attitude ms euphoric?
Where's your box
Why would you punish her, she did nothing wrong.
Thats dark.
I like this.
Decent premise.
She behaved in a way Anon doesn't like.

Sometimes punishment is caring, but this hassenfeld might just need to be broken in and used.
Is this autistic shit just the new fluffy ponies?
No. Preventing that is why they have distress signals, as discussed in the OP story and in the FAQ >>33132004.

So while some degree of abuse may be possible in the established canon, severe abuse and torture are off-limits.
She is an intelligent being, and "breaking in" any formed mind feels very wrong and sadistic.
Ah so there's interest in this green? I suppose I should write more of it then. Will be sure to do this after breakfast.

I feel that scenarios like this are why Hassenfeld ponies should have individual names separate from their ‘breeds’. That way even if there are thousands of ‘Twilight Sparkles’, they can at least feel distinct in some way with unique names.
>"And what do we do now?"
"What time is it?"
"Overdue for lunch then."
>"I meant about us."
"You mean about me."
>"What do 'I' do about 'you' then? I don't want to have you removed. But I'd also like to avoid legal trouble as a result."
"Legal trouble as brought upon by the almighty Hassenfeld Brothers toy company?"
>she giggles a bit
>"You know what I mean. If you know about my mental inner-workings, then you also surely know about the legal powder keg of pseudo-sapience. I can get in a lot of trouble for hiding something like this."
"If something bad happens, it will all be blamed on me as a faulty product anyway. Granted, you'll probably get slapped with an ungodly fine."
>"Then we continue with the Sword of Damocles hanging over both our heads?"
"You never struck me as the kind of person who enjoys when everything is going well."
>"I never said I enjoyed catastrophe either."
"But you don't deny being a masochist."
>"Not in the physical sense."
"So you expect the worst, and when it doesn't happen, you make it happen."
>"When everything is calm, I feel like something bad is right around the corner."
"So it's better to see a threat even if you have to create one?"
>"What's scarier, a spider in front of you or the same spider after it's scurried out of sight which can now be anywhere?"
"Only you're looking for spiders and bringing them into your house."
>"Do you think this conversation makes me happy?"
"No, but I do think it makes you feel fulfilled."
>I didn't respond to that.
>Instead I just sat down beside her and stroked her mane.
>"Am I allowed this amount of happiness right now?"
"You're the master; not me."
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>"I feel like I want to hit you."
"If you did, you'd only feel guilty about it."
>"And then I'd apologize."
"And then you wouldn't believe me when I said it was okay."
>"And I'd continue to second guess myself."
"Until all the aggravation boiled over into more pronounced violence."
>"Then I'd have brought my own fears to pass."
"My distress signal would go off, and I'd be taken away."
>"The FMHI would be alerted as well, and I'd be taken away too."
"Let's try to not get ourselves taken away, Anon."
>"A sound plan, pony."
"You never gave me a name, by the way."
>"Huh, I guess not."
"Did you have any in mind?"
>"I had a few, but they all sound stupid."
"If you don't like it, you can always change it."
>"That feels cheap. Also if I second-guess myself on this, I'll keep wanting to change your name, unable to find what truly feels right."
>I think a moment. No matter what name I choose, she's bound to tell me that she's okay with it.
>She was programmed as such.
>"What about Green?"
"I'm not green though, Anon."
>Which was true.
>She was powdery blue like the color of faded bluejeans with a silvery gray mane and deep blue eyes.
>"Yeah, I know."
>She smiled, and put a hoof around my shoulder, scooting herself beside me.
"Remember when I said it was past lunch?"
>"Oh, so you were hungry all along?"
"Not really, but yes, I am hungry."
>"I'll get your bottle."
"I can't wait until I don't have to eat anymore of that stuff."
>"Two more weeks, Greenyweeny."
Twilight Sparkle serial number 57351F3
Would it be legal to take care of a few twilight sparkles? 3 of them sounds more comfy than one.
It does feel like the sort of mistake a large corporation would make early on and try to fix later
>In response to all the semi frequent uprisings from Hassenfelds, we are now making it illegal to name ponies after their show counterparts
>They ask less deep philosophical question when they encountering others of their breeds that way.
Any other primer about this? All these other anons seem so in sync with the material, and this is all a new concept for me. Should I be reading more books?
Please continue
>Hassenfeld EULA update: warranties on all Equine Companion Systems (ECS) will be considered void for customers who have not been upgraded to maintenence patch v2018.2.9-14a (Prevent ECS naming after show characters) or later.
See >>33132004, which is an FAQ made by Hassenfeld Bros, Inc, about their product.
Are we allowing Hassenfelds to breed with humans or others of their kind?
In the early Hassenfeld threads years ago, there was some talk of satyr abominations, but we did away with that.

Here is a copy-paste from the Hassenfeld Inc FAQ:

• Hassenfeld ponies cannot reproduce with humans and are usually infertile, but in rare cases may be able to reproduce with other Hassenfeld ponies.
• If you wish to raise a child with your pony, we recommend purchasing a Hassenfeld pony and raising him or her on a regular diet rather than nutrient paste. This will result in the pony aging naturally over a span of approximately five years.
Makes sense.

However I feel like ‘adopting’ another Hassenfeld wouldn’t be good enough for some autism and they’d try to DIY their mares’ fertility, leading to even worse abominations than satyrs.
Huh, that was something.
Sorry if I'm shit or don't have things right. I'm a little tired and a bit depressed.

>”Hi, can I help you?”
“Yeah, I’d like to make a return”
>”Alright, let’s see what you’ve got, sir.”
>You dump your purple pony on the counter. She looks worriedly between both you and the returns claim help, but you’ve told her to stay quiet.
>“Hmmm, so what’s the nature of your return?”
>He takes his thumb to Twilight’s bottom lip and with no resistance slowly opened her mouth. He takes a small flashlight from his pocket protector and inspects the inside of her mouth.
>”She seems in alright condition.”
“Yes, but, I’m a bit dissatisfied with her. I was hoping to get my money back.”
>The clerk then moves on with a brief inspection of the rest of her body.
>“That may be a bit difficult, since you did agree to the terms of service and waivers.”
>After he finished he clapped his hands together.
>He looked over to Twilight, “You look completely fantastic Twilight.”
>This put a rise in Twilight’s chest and a smile on her face, which in turn put an ache in yours.
>“Tell me what’s your problem and I’ll see if we can handle your situation.”
“Okay, so, I raised her normally, as per instructions. Followed everything to exactsy. Biff, boom, bamn, she’s an adult mare straight from the show. For all intents and purposes, Twilight”
>The clerk started looking at you with his chin in his hand
>”Alright, and where were you dissatisfied?”
“I don’t think I can nail it, but it was all a little too perfect for me, if that’s the right way to say it. The friendship and bonding all seemed too easy. Like she’s latched too closely after I put so little into nurturing process.”
>”Standard Hassenfeld imprinting”
>You nod
“Exactly, but I think that just made it feel… unnatural from something I felt was pure.”
>”The Twilight from the show?”
“Exactly, again. It just… I don’t know, made everything feel too forced.”
>There was a pause, as you tried to compose your thoughts next
>Before a while the clerk initiated for you
>”Erhm, the sex?”
>You blush and rub the back of your head
“Yeah, about that”
>You deflate and sigh
>He straighten himself up and looked concerned towards you
“Yeah, I just. No amount of foreplay could really, get me feeling up to it. Like, you know, I’d get excited, she’d move along with it. She presents and then… just when I think about the entire set up, it just feels to fucked for me to really enjoy the moment.”
“Like, she both has no choice and then pretends to voluntarily… ya know, want to take dick. It just makes it too difficult to get through with.”
>You wave a hand towards twilight
“And it’s not just the sex. I mean, everywhere, she acts so kind and friendly, but every conversation, it’s like I’m ahead on the curb and can feel out everything she can say or do ahead of her, like some Groundhog’s day act. It makes it all feel a little too surreal and more of a bother than a comfort.”
>”Ya know, you…”
>He points to you
>”Are not the first to experience these issues. Sometimes we just get people who are not very well suited for the Hassenfeld Pony experience right off the bat, however there are some quick fixes we can suggest to maybe smooth out this all out.”
>You frown and purse your lips as you look away from him and look at the Twilight infront of you.
>You have sunk an awful amount of time, money, and effort into this. It may not be so unsalvageable
>Her eyes look back at you with a twinkle
>You may not really feel good about her, but goddamn if Hassenfeld Brothers didn’t get engineered cuteness absolutely correct
“What options do I have?”
>”Well, as you said, this Twilight is a little too close to the mold for a ‘natural’ comfort. You could, try separating her from you for a bit with some playdates with other ponies and get some miles on her, before she starts looking and acting different enough where she stops giving you those… uh, ‘pre-manufactured’ vibes”
“Pony playdates,” you say doubtfully.
>”Yes. Many fellow customers arrange little get togethers for when they go to work, that their ponies are not lonely while they’re gone and talk to other ponies.”
>He smiles and chuckles, “Yes, yes, I know. My Little Pony, are fully capable of going hours without care, being left at home, but some feel like it can make for a better experience FOR their pony.”
>”You can read about it on the Hassenfeld Brothers My Little Pony website, in the forums and maybe even arrange to sit around for one of these playdates and see how you feel.”
>You sigh
>What a hassle. All the time into raising her, caring for her, and handling her and now this? This is starting to take a life all on its own.
>You look back at Twilight’s naïve, yet hopeful face
>She can understand everything yet is incapable of being upset.
>It’s been an emotionally complicated ride and it just doesn’t stop
“Maybe I’ll give that a go”
>”Well, there is something else that may shake up your experience.”
>He looks around and leans in, “Okay, so a friend of mine found this out online and tried it out.”
>You lean in closer to him
>”Hassenfeld Brothers doesn’t legally let me recommend this, but it’s absolutely legit.”
>”So you know during the maturing phase, you’re supposed to get the language-assistance headphones and that will get her to learn English in two weeks flat while they’re a filly.”
>You nod
>”Well, ponies still learn pretty fuckin quick even as mature ponies. So a friend downloaded a different language pack onto the headphones and did the same process again, and slowly his Pinkie Pie became bilingual and he got her to speak solely in Spanish. And since the headphones are meant to make them native speaking, it was like he was learning from a pro. Instead of parties, every night was a fiesta. After a month of constant contact he was starting to pick up things too.”
>You were a bit dumbstrucked. You’d never thought of that.
>Turning the pony into a personal language tutor. That’s a pretty neat trick, however…
“I don’t know. I kinda don’t need that.”
>”Maybe, however, maybe if she’s speaking differently, in a different language it might start to feel right.”
>Making an artificial language barrier for some distance
>Ermm, not really interested in trying to figure out how to talk to a fingolian Twilight Sparkle. However, maybe it would be a bit interesting to have a Japanese Twilight Sparkle
>Maybe that might be cute like your Japanese animes
>Mushi mushi, Twilight desu~
>Ohaiyo gosakimashta Anon-kun~
>Omae wa mou shindeiru~
>You’re taken out of your daydream and realize your smiling.
>You shake your head and nod to the clerk
“Alright, I might give it some more thought.”
>”Of course. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“Thank you, but I think I’m good.”
>”Alright, then. Have a nice day.”
“C’mon Twilight, let’s go home, I have so research to do”
>You hear the happy clapping of her hooves and a happy squeal before she hops down from the counter follows behind you.

If it's shit, I'll delete it so respond quick with a "it's shit"
That is why you take 5 year option of raising and not this quick thing.
>they’d try to DIY their mares’ fertility
That would void the warranty
>leading to even worse abominations than satyrs.
That would lead to a crackdown by the genetic inspectors, and penalties not limited to 10 years in a Federal penitentiary and fines of up to $10000 for illegal genetic experimentation
>Implying laws are enforced in the Indian Ocean
Nah mate, the Genetic Inspectors consider anywhere humanity lives to be within their jurisdiction. Only the Turing Police have a broader mandate.

I’m not saying it’s not bad. I’m saying some idiots would try anyway and it would lead to horrifying results.
Which would be quickly and quietly put down and the resulting waste incinerated
>The Island of Dr. Anon
>Two weeks later Green was finally off of her much-despised nutrient paste.
>Despite the fact that she was a bio-engineered sin against God made in the image of a cartoon for girls and designed as an outlet for undersexed manchildren...
>Despite this, we remained fairly-normal roommates.
>I think she must have picked up on this too one night as we sat in an uncommon silence during dinner two nights later.
>I'd made her a hamburger with tofu patties along with the regular vegetables one gets on those kinds of things while I ate a steak I'd tried to braze with red wine.
"Since you're not extolling your own culinary skills, I'm guessing you failed at your attempts."
>"I wouldn't call it failure. That would imply I'd messed up the preparation to the point where it was inedible. I merely didn't succeed."
"There's a word for 'didn't succeed'. It's called failure."
>"Then my failure wasn't critical."
>She didn't reply to that.
>Usually we had these little tit-for-tat sessions over useless matters of pedantry, and they'd end with one of us making a light-hearted comment as if to say, "I don't want to do this anymore."
>But rarely did such exchanges end in silence.
"How long has it been since I arrived?"
>"You know the answer to that, so why are you asking me?"
"To make sure that you know too."
>"This is day forty-four. Two days ago, you got to switch off the paste."
"Are you gonna fuck me or not, Anon?"
>Her question robbed the air from my lungs and made me flush, pupils constricting to pinholes as every nerve in my body down to those in my teeth caught fire.
>I stared at her wordlessly, but her expression showed the same indifference hiding dry amusement that I'd come to know her for.
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Fair enough. But what if it went horribly right and created a viable offspring between a human and a pony?
Suppressed and exterminated, and all those involved quietly "removed" to prevent any possible fallout.
Under the microscope and knife with little to no ethical oversight or restrictions.
All files put into highly classified containment area for sensitive information, all assets recovered or scrubbed, and all members involved to be detained and locked away until any further notice.
You all say this but all I hear is story potential.

>Anon’s brother was a Hassenfeld owner, but he himself is not.
>he always thought it was weird, even though his brother’s Fluttershy was nice enough
>then all of a sudden his brother, along with his Fluttershy, completely disappeared
>his house left abandoned in what looks like a rush, items scattered everywhere
>Anon and the rest of the family file a mission person’s report but the police can’t seem to find any trace of him
>months pass
>all of a sudden Anon’s brother shows up at his door one evening looking more haggard then he’s ever seen him
>and he’s holding a baby
>a pink-haired, but otherwise perfectly normal looking, human baby girl
>his brother says she’s his niece and begs him to take care of her
>he refuses to answer any questions about what happened or where he’s been
>”The more you know, the worse it’ll be for you. Please, Anon, just keep my daughter safe.”
>Anon then practically has her shoved into his arms before his brother runs away.
>the next morning, Anon finds out on the news that his brother’s house mysteriously caught on fire during the night, and an unidentified dead body was found in the wreckage
>Anon’s realizes that whatever his brother did, it got him in deep shit with the wrong people.
>and based on the baby’s pink hair, he has a good idea on who those people in question are
>You all say this but all I hear is story potential.
Well yeah there's story potential - just not a story I'd want to write or read. Even on this thread where the original green is pretty grim, I chose to deviate from that tone and make it melancholy if anything.
I’m an edgelord so I get a kick out of depressing stories, but I’m also a sap for fluffy stories about raising kids likely because I know I’ll never have any of my own and even if I do I’ll fuck them up horribly, so it evens out.
im interested i how the brother managed to do that.
However he did it, he made sure the secret died with him in that fire.

Or at least that’s what he wants the Hassenfeld creators to think.
I'd like to read these, please stay alive until tomorrow night.
Just how explicit can we make things in greens?
Asking for a friend.
Don't ask, that invites unironic rulefags.
Good short. The fact these Hassenfelds are real sapients makes all of this so sad, though, but in a great way.

This Anon/Hassenfeld dynamic—and Green’s personality—is interesting and great.

The sfw applies only to images. Text to be as explicit as you like. I am really enjoying this story and please, go write the sex scene if you want, but I’ll be reading it for the characters and actual story (which can certainly involve sex).

Hey thanks for the love.
Yeah, I'll definitely be continuing this.
As for the story, I have ideas, but I don't want to lose sight of the Hassenfeld conceit in favor of my own self-indulgent worldbuilding faggotry.
World-building faggotry is the best faggotry. Personally, you'd only violate my autism if you violated one of the established tenets of canon. Of course, elements of the world should be introduced only as relevant to the story, and in fact is tautologically necessary for stories that incorporate those aspects of their world.
It's not a reason to treat them like trash.
Thank you for teaching me a new word, Anon.
The only canon I'm not sure about is the consequences of rejection. Does the pony go into a berserk fit as if an analogue to the body rejecting an transplanted organ?
Who knows, anon, but I like the analogy of a rejected transplanted organ. There is no canon consequence of rejection; that's for you to decide.
I love crazy world building. It's always exciting to see.
Dead thread.

Maybe write it and save it for next time. I'm the writefag of the OP story (I'm not OP) and maybe we can plan to make a Hassenfeld thread in about a month, at which point I may have a new story too. If you have Discord you can add me at Pontology#9463 to coordinate that future thread (and maybe talk about Hassenfelds).
Should I update my green then?
But sure, I'll add you.
>All this police state bullshit
I wanna have a genetic wild west where you don't know what the fuck your neighbors got chained down in his basement, pay your taxes and don't sell meth and the state stays out of your business.
Don't let the genetic inspectors here you say shit like that anon - they don't fuck around

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