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You wake up under a starry sky.
>>
you decide to go for a walk.
>>
your peaceful night is suddenly interrupted by a horde of pepe-retards who surround you and deafen you with autistic screaching
>>
virgin walk away
>>
as you virgin walk away from the horde of pepe-retards you're then ambushed by a group of weeb mafioso who beat you and write "donations go here" on your asscheeks
>>
"oh great" you mutter under your breath;"another adventure ruined by the autistic schizophrenic narrators".
>>
you wake up in mexican desert under a starry sky
>>
It takes you a moment to realize that the stars were cacti
>>
suddenly, 6 feet futa amazons
>>
appear on the horizon. Since the stars turned out to be cacti you realize that it is actually daylight and you are just seeing a mirage. It dawns on you that you are going insane from being in the desert so long...and you might be gay.
>>
You suddenly feel overwhelmingly gay
>>
you desperately bump a thread for the 10th time
>>
because that is what faggots do.
>>
Expecto patronum, you exclaim
>>
But nobody came
>>
You curse J.K. Rowling's name after the hallucinations and homosexual thoughts abate, and your legs, as if they had a mind of their own, take you in the opposite direction from the incoming Amazons
>>
"Oh shit the old thread died, someone should collect the posts into a pastebin or something. I'd love to have a record of these," you spontaneously say into thin air.
>>
"i'd do it now, but I should have been asleep two hours ago" you exclaim. "i'll do it tomorrow, both a raw and a comprehensible version. "
>>
With that settled, you remove both your legs in an attempt to wrest control of your locomotion.
>>
You start to wonder what caused this outburst and begin to feel scared. To your horror it appears that your wizardry has invoked the spirit of a metaposter. The fourth wall is now forever broken.
>>
You crawl your way out through the broken fourth wall.
>>
A pair of angry communists rebuild it in roughly 12 hours.
>>
You regain control of your legs, but subtle movements within your hips make you feel slightly unsure of your bodily autonomy
>>
On the other side of the 4th wall there's raw paste data of the previous thread in the form of a github link.
https://pastebin.com/yj4vKjiq
>>
*farts*
>>
"What was that?" you mutter as you cautiously make your way across the sand.
>>
a brap poster appears
>>
frrrrrrrtt brrrraooooooppp
>>
he stands a few feet away from me and says in a loud voice "hey dude, bro I heard you BRAAAP from over there" as he points toward a hammock tied up between two cacti
>>
*shits*
>>
The dude bro's face suddenly changed from one of kindness to pure disgust. "Woah, man that's not how I roll!" he shouted angrily. He motioned for me to get off his property, and I left in search of a place I could clean myself up.
>>
You have an existential crisis when you start to wonder if "you" are "I".
>>
Braaaaaaaapppp
>>
As you sit beneath a cactus you begin to realize that there is no "you" or "I"; there just "is." Suddenly, your surroundings start to fade...
>>
You finally realize the answer to the ultimate question: "What doth life?"
>>
Plllthhttlbhblbhlhtlpbtlphlbhlllllllll

god that smells...
>>
"I can't tell, I don't have a nose," responds God.
>>
suddenly it dawns on you that you are a wasp
>>
That is to say, you are a white anglo-saxon protestant.
>>
You thank God for clarifying your suspicions but wonder how this is relevant to your situation.
>>
You hear a hear somebody yell "checkem" in the distance.
>>
you fly towards town on your wasp wings
>>
As you enter the town, you are suddenly hit by a truck, luckily you managed to stay alive.
>>
You notice that the world around you seems to have changed
>>
It is now in a shade of brown and smells like an Indian latrine.
>>
You switch the latrine on.
>>
The Indians begin to feel a disturbance in the air and look in awe as the mighty porcelain God appears before them.
>>
it utters "My name is Chaim" in a quasi-divine nasal voice.
>>
Apparently quasi-divine nasal voice sounds like someone is quoting someone, you can't help but wonder whom.
>>
The Latrine then separates into two entities, both now speaking in unison with hemi-quasi-divine voices about where one should crap.
>>
The speech went sort of like this:
>>
"Dear god, i'm gay and that's okay because you dont exist but white privilege does"
>>
At that instant you realize that your purpose in life is to make "delete /pol/" threads on /qa/.
>>
Everything is clear now and with this epiphany reality itself fades into white noise, next you find yourself in a dark room empty of everything but a working PC
>>
The PC happens to have an internet tab with /qa/ open
>>
You press the click on "Start a thread"
>>
LOL XDXDXD.XDXD I JUST LITERALLY PEED MY PANTS JUST A LITTE THOUGH I MEAN ITS A LITTLE SPOT NOT LIKE IT RUINED MY CHAIR R NYTHING LOL BUT FOR REAL EPIC LULZ HIGH FIVES XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD U FRUSTRATED U FRUSTRATED BRO U SO MAD WHY ARE YOU SO MAAAAD I CAN POST ANYTHING I WANT THAT IS HOW IT SAYS IN THE RULES I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAGGOTRY RULES Y SO MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXDX.DXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A BIG ONE XDDDDDDDD A GRAT ONE XXXXXXDDDD CONGRATS MAN XD U FRUSTRATED U FRUSTRATED BRO U SO MAD WHY ARE YOU SO MAAAAD I CAN POST ANYTHING I WANT THAT IS HOW IT SAYS IN THE RULES I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FAGGOTRY RULES Y SO MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXD.XDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT hgXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A BIG ONE XDDDDDDDD A GRAT ONE XXXXXXDDDD CONGRATS MAN XD WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXD.XDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH HOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY SHIT whatr the HELL WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh xDXDXD.XDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMGOSH DDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL THIS IS A SHIT XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A BlG ONE XDDDDDDDD A GRAT ONE XXXXXXDDDDLOL XDXDX.DXDXD
>>
Your thread still has no (you)'s even though people keep posting on it.
>>
You stumble upon a thread titled "Pass the sentence ver. 2." which seems to chronicle your every action. You are so scared by this you shit yourself but it comes out of your penishole instead wtf?
>>
You notice that what is typed into this thread happens to you and desperately try to correct the situation.
>>
I knew you shouldn't have made a new thread until at least a few weeks had passed.

said a random passerby
>>
The random passerby happened to be Hitler in dissguise
>>
And he was passing by in his way to fuck u're mum
>>
You move out of the Führer's way and leave as fast as you can.
>>
In your panic to flee from the Führer, you stumble into a shower room.
>>
The "shower" room doesn't have a functional shower.
>>
A man in a gas mask gives you a choice: "Either you register for a Tesco clubcard, or you get gassed"
>>
"Okay, where?"
>>
In your confusion you realized you dropped a bar of soap you didn't know you had.
>>
You squat to pick it up
>>
Akari comes up behind and prods you with her rod
>>
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
As you turn around you realize it's not Akari but Micolash.
>>
You wake up and forget everything.
>>
There is a starry sky above you
>>
You decide to go for a walk
>>
You decide to go for a walk.
>>
as you turn a corner you notice a member of the weeb mafia tailing you.
>>
You grasp your Kekistan flag and run as far as your stubby legs will carry you.
>>
You lose your breath after 10m, nearly collapsing from exhaustion.
>>
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You drop a hot frog the weeb mafia..
>>
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you suddenly find 2 metric tonnes of floam lying around and jump in it
it envelops you, its so warm
>>
you cuck cuck cuck ptllththtbbhbttllt brap
>>
As you sink deeper you find it hard to speak.
>>
You sink deeper and deeper, eventually you can't breathe.
>>
Suddenly, pineapples
>>
esrfhsudrfgserfsdvfdfnrnstghsnvsdmosmkdfvojsdnfh
>>
You regain your senses after a lapse of consciousness and find yourself once again in the forest, almost caught by your stalkers
>>
"We've got you surrounded frogboy", one of the members say.
>>
Bruised and weak, with tears in your eyes you ask:
Bane?
>>
You hear buzzing and a faint 'Aye' in the distance.
>>
you pull out some floam still in your pocket and throw it in one of the members eyes, you then take his gun and go absolutely N U C L E A R
>>
Unfortunately the gun could not fire as fast as you wanted as it was merely semiautomatic and bump stocks had recently been outlawed.
>>
You power up with your shaq-fu skills
>>
*eats fried chicken*
>>
It has a vaguely almond taste.
>>
>>1609433
404 is engraved on each of the chiken bones.
>>
As you finish off the last drumstick your theme song starts playing:
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bHimOJb-Xw
>>
As you enter deeper into the forest you spot a funny looking bear winking at you.
>>
You say "Sorry but I'm too old for you."
>>
The bear is visibly disheartened so you give him your flag in consolation
>>
The bear takes that as consent and now starts raping you.
>>
The beer commits sudoku mid-act
>>
You start to notice a pattern here and curse the cruel God that ends all your adventures with rape.
>>
God doesn't take kindly to curses, so he descends from the heavens to rape you.
>>
God contracts a severe case of AIDS and dies a couple seconds later
>>
You assume his mantle and become the new god.
>>
Out of spite create tentacle monsters that go on to rape everyone.
>>
Meanwhile, in Weeb Mafia HQ...
>>
A man is having sex with an effeminate male.
>>
"male (female)", someone whispers in your ear before leaving
>>
"T is coming."
>>
He ejaculates into the man(woman)
>>
T is the most powerful being in existence
>>
T is, like, so cool
>>
The thing I like most about T is
>>
You wonder who T is
>>
This intimate moment is interrupted by the sound of a blaring siren and weebs everywhere begin to clutch their dakimakuras in fear.
>>
T is based
>>
you decide to meme
>>
T is a god
>>
You grab your T dakimakura and dakimasu it as hard as you can until the sirens stop
>>
Memes. The DNA of soul.
>>
T is blessed
>>
The weebs are in a stupor and just repeatedly mutter praises to T unaware of what is about to take place.
>>
Suddenly, pinecones.
>>
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>>
The sound of pinecones falling on the rooftop was the first sign that the tentacle monsters had arrived.
>>
You wake up under a starry sky.
>>
You look up
>>
BIG NIGGER DICK IS TOWERING OVER YOU!
>>
You get the HELL out of there.
>>
You have extremely perverted thoughts of what could had happened if you decided to stay
>>
You put on a skeleton costume.
>>
You order some boneless pizza
>>
You suddenly realise there is an actual SKELETON inside you.
>>
This revelation terrifies you so much that you have a heart attack and die.
>>
You wake up
>>
There are no stars in the sky this time.
>>
This makes you somewhat sad.
>>
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You start fapping to alleviate your depression.
>>
you sperm and some gets in your eye in a way that lets you see past the visible spectrum, you witness a hidden race of aliens living on earth just out of sight of normal human vision
>>
After a while you realize that you're suffering from schizophrenia
>>
In your moment of lucidity you realise you are in a mental asylum and all this was just a long hallucination trip.
>>
You haven't taken your medication for a week now, and you have to wonder, maybe all these visions were real?
>>
after the nurse force-feeds you your dose of meds, you begin to hallucinate. the morphs into the evil pepe and begins fondling your virgin butthole while whispering "cuck" in your ear....
>>
"What did you mean by this", you think to yourself.
>>
You wake up under a starry sky.
>>
It suddenly starts raining diamonds.
>>
You think to yourself "Wait...ayo, hol up...naw this can't be real dog."
>>
FSSSHWWSSSSSSHHHHHH GOD WHAT A GREAT PISS! FWWSSSSFFHSSSHHH
>>
A diamond hits you in the head and you die.
>>
You wake up above a starry sky.
>>
After about 15 seconds you have suffocated and died in the vacuum of space
>>
You wake up in the middle of a rice field somewhere in China.
>>
You see niggers everywhere
>>
they all have small chinese women surgically attached to their big weenuses
>>
>>1612288
You wish you could be a cocksleeve too, luckily you notice horse walking nearby.
>>
That's gay
>>
says an observer in the distance.
>>
The observer is you
>>
You wake up in the center of the universe
>>
You realize that you never fell asleep or died and you are still in China.
>>
You see KANG Tyrone ruling over his chingchong subjects
>>
You can make a religion out of this!
>>
L. Ron Hubbard, eat your heart out!
>>
L. ron hubbard could later be seen eating his heart out.
>>
You see a gay person
>>
You happen to be looking into a mirror
>>
The gay person is behind you, on a bench with their suit unzipped almost all the way down.
>>
"I should've listened" you think as he pins you to the ground, raping your small delicate juicy little butthole. You fall asleep mid thrust.
>>
It's so fucking hot in here.
>>
You evaporate.
>>
You condensate and precipitate onto an unknown planet.
>>
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>>1607396
>>
The planet appears to be populated by animes.
>>
you say to one of the animes "I bet you weren't even hear for the first PTP thread on /qa/"
>>
You pretend to ignore that comment and stare ominously into the distance.
>>
There's nothing there, apart from a group of hippoppotamus
>>
lolwut?
>>
An ORLY? appears next to you
>>
>>1607396
It starts molesting you in a not entirely disagreeable way.
>>
As you climax after 7.777 seconds you think "Benis in Anus :DDD"
>>
you reminisce about the first pass the *sentence* thread and laugh to yourself about how others think it was pass the paragraph first
ha, you laugh to yourself smugly with a errection
>>
A space pod falls from the sky and lands directly in front of you!
>>
it's filled with cum that splashes out all over the ground around you as it opens
>>
Suddenly an alien comes out of the once cum-filled pod, he points to you and says....
>>
"blarrgghhh"
he chokes on some cum as it all pours out of his mouth
he forgot it was filled with cum from sleeping in there for so long and so was unable to get any words out
you try to assist the alien with his choking by giving him a tender pat on the back
>>
you get in the pod
>>
You close the hatch and push a big green button.
>>
After you push the button it opens the hatch.
>>
Inside the hatch is a larger, green button.
>>
You ask to yourself: "why my existence is so fucking gay?"
>>
After a moment of contemplation, you press the larger green button.
>>
>>1617922
It releases more cum into the pod.
>>
You cum in the cum
>>
The pod starts to power up, seems like cum was it's fuel.
>>
you begin to erupt off the planet
>>
you fly through space for a time, the shuttle is moving beyond the speed of light
it seems to be on a set course
after a few hours you reach a planet in a distant galaxy
>>
a sudden fear grips you
>>
You wake up under a starry sky.
>>
You don't know that the sky is starry because you are blind.
>>
... to the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.
>>
once you get over that you can't taste cinnamon toast crunch
you decide to explore this new world you have awoken in
the space pod has a small container with several survival supplies in it, including a ray gun
you set off on your adventure
>>
you wonder who would make such a long post in a pass the sentence thread
>>
Autism
>>
"The power of the word compels you!"
Now you have autism.
>>
Your autistic tendencies compel you to discover why someone would make such a long post in a pass the sentence thread.
>>
you suddenly realize it is to make a good circumstance for the rest of the tale
thought you also know that the tale will very likely become abandoned in absurdity anyways
>>
You scream allahu akbar at the top of your lungs, holding your AK in you hands as you rush out of the store, looking at the people who are shilling for memelord shit.
>>
The british police has come to stop you.
>>
Pulling out their batons, they yell in unison, "the old thread was much more comfy and this one sucks"
>>
everyone agrees and suicides
>>
you wake up under a black sky
>>
You look down and you are standing on black earth.
>>
everything in the middle is white
you are in a oreo
>>
Suddenly, a gigantic pair of hands twists and opens the oreo.
>>
but they fucked it up so the frosting isn't on only one cookie-half....you're still covered in it, struggling to escape
>>
The frosting suddenly forms into a cute Oreo cookie slime girl. :3
>>
you pull out your handgun and shoot it till it dies

level up
>>
You remember that slimes are supposed to be immune to kinetic damage, you wonder what just happened.
>>
you realise it died from sadness and heart break
bonus xp
>>
A sudden wave of cancer hits you
>>
You are knocked off the oreo and your life begins flashing before your eyes.
>>
You see memories of your mother and father being gang rape by a pack of niggers
>>
Thank god it was only memories of your father gang raped, while you had fond memories of your mother
>>
You remember your father had a sex change and was in fact your mother who gave birthed to you
>>
your life ceases flashing before your eyes, you're in a cup of what looks like milk
>>
the cup lifts into the air and nears what looks like a large mouth
>>
You wake up under a starry sky.
>>
>bing-bing! wahoo! 1-up!
You hear to your left.
>>
It's Hiro on a motorcycle
>>
You go up to him and beat the shit out of him, because he is fucking jew who ruined 4chan.
>>
Suddenly, pineapples
>>
You wake up on a small raft in the middle of the ocean.
>>
You fall asleep again
>>
you wake up on a small deserted island
but not comically small
roughly 5km square
>>
but you'd rather take a nap
>>
You begin to ponder your seemingly endless need for sleep.
>>
you decide to sleep on that thought
>>
But at this instance sleep alludes you for some reason.
>>
You fall asleep
>>
Or so you try but you just lie there with your eyes closed without actaully falling asleep.
>>
you suddenly become unable to sleep
>>
God forces you to sleep.
>>
You realize you are god, and you awaken to your powers.
>>
you use your powers to go back to sleep
>>
You become fed up with this meaningless existence of sleeping and waking and kys
>>
You wake up on a cloud in front of a giant gate.
>>
St. Peter is standing in front of the gate and his bling-bling blinds your eyes as you approach him.
>>
roll for pick pocket
>>
You fail.
>>
at pickpocketing or at rolling?
>>
you are unsure so roll to figure out which you failed
>>
You summon a loli imp to pickpocket based St. Peter.
>>
The imp falls asleep
>>
pickpocket the imp
>>
You pickpocket the imp and find a vial of sleeping pills.
>>
summon another imp
>>
that other imp is summoned asleep
>>
He wakes up and tries to sell you some sleeping pills before dozing off again.
>>
pickpocket the new imp, then summon a new one
>>
You get some sleeping pills from the second imp, during your ritual something goes awry and you end up summoning Vivec.
>>
Your ritual also ended up summoning him while he's asleep.
>>
You notice that St. Peter is getting tired of waiting and can hear his bling jingling as he begins to nod off.
>>
The sound is very soothing, and you drift off to sleep
>>
You wake up under a starry sky.
>>
you wonder how long before one of the voices in your head puts you to sleep again
>>
You see a very comfortable looking bed nearby.
>>
there's a piece of paper on it.
>>
It reads:
And blood-black nothingness began to spin
A system of cells interlinked within
Cells interlinked within cells interlinked
Within one stem. And dreadfully distinct
Against the dark, a tall white fountain played.
>>
You dismiss it as bad poetry, tossing it over your shoulder carelessly.
>>
A man blasts your skull off for having bad tastes.
>>
You pick up a zweihänder resting nearby and go north.
>>
you realize you're immortal and the prince of the universe with blood kings flowing in you and you have no rivals
>>
The zweihänder merges with your arm, you can now summon it at will.
>>
"So you're the lost son I've been looking for!" the King of the Universe says, "Boy do I have some chores for you!" he hands you a Katamari "Roll this until it's bigger than a planet"
>>
You take the katamari and place it inside your anus then begin to spin it inside yourself.
>>
.
>>
But the story refused to end.

You have become a sentient katamari of gore and feces.
>>
..
>>
You roll towards the king of the universe and absorb it into your filth, you have now two consciousnesses within you.
>>
greentext him
>>
>tfw no gf
>>
greensext him
>>
>tfw no qt king of the universe to struggle snuggle with wink win nod nod ;)
>>
now go back to r9k and never come back
>>
You roll your way towards a tiny laptop and destroy countless multiverses in your way, there you open up /r9k/ and star lurking.
>>
the floor shatters and you fall into a huge vat of cum
>>
This reminds you of the time you were in the alien spaceship.
>>
This time you assimilate the cum into yourself and turn triple your size, you both bless and curse your existence as katamari.
>>
>SAVING THIS THREAD
>>
you become pregnant
>>
U hit urself in the stomach multiple times in hopes to give birth to a still born experience
>>
You wake up
>>
You fall asleep
>>
you shit yourself in your sleep
>>
you wake up
>>
You brush your teeth
>>
You realize the toothpaste you used was not toothpaste but actual paste.
>>
You then realise you're still an ever growing ball of mass.
>>
xDD
>>
You collapse into a blackhole.
>>
You realize it was all a dream and wake up
>>
You are in a hospital bed, your entire body is paralyzed.
>>
A raspy old voice speaks "Oh yes... Paleblood... well, you've come to the right place"
>>
You fall asleep just as the voice starts telling you the meaning of life
>>
You wake up when the old man begins screaming at you for falling asleep during his story.
>>
what did he mean by this, you ask
>>
The old man is actually a powerful wizard and curses you to a life with eternal insomnia and a pretty stupid haircut.
>>
You stay awake
>>
You realize that the gods of 4chan have decided that it is time for your adventure to come to an end; this brings a feeling of both sadness and relief.
>>
つづく。。。



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