OH SHIT NIGGER(s) it's an adventure about killing vampires n shit.5 vampire hunters, 1 little girl, a totally-not-a-witch and a vampire minion being forced to work for the side of humans, are going to traverse a vampire castle to kill the Vampire Lord there for casting a spell than kept the world at perpetual night time.Currently, the hunters are back at the hunter outpost set up in the taken over clocktower of the castle, planning their next move.Each character needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n' shit.Just name yourself something with the highlighted title under the character to identify which team you're going with. Example: Regular Hunter Faggot -> Controls Oswell the regular HunterNeed at least 1 player for each dude, DOESN'T mean each character is limited to 1 player.The more players each character has, the more rerolls that team gets.Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTUREShttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>1862298>I'm now alongside the main three vampires hunters in the OP image.Neat.
>>1862304So, yeah, just to keep it on hand until Joseph prove to be mature enough to not meddle with eldritch items, I'll ask Broseph if I can hold onto the arm he cut off from Joseph.
>>1862304I think I should apologize profusely to broseph for running into him.
>>1862307"What arm">>1862308"No big deal, dont worry about it"
>>1862313The arm you chopped off from Joseph to punish him for meddling with eldritch artefacts beyond his comprehension.
>>1862313What a cool guy.
>>1862317"Oh that arm. I threw it away"
>>1862322Maybe you could get a golem arm to replace it? Or I could try to heal him...
>>1862322Wait, why? You know that means we need to get him a cool new metal arm when he finished not being a heretic for like five threads or whatever timeunits they count as, right?
>>1862324"No no. Don't heal him. He'll never learn his lesson that way"
>>1862298oh what a horrible day it is today....you had to choose todayit had to be this day!
>>1862324>>1862330He isn't supposed to have a second arm. It's punishment for activating a eldritch transformation bomb with no understanding how it works, likely scarring the minds of Oswell and Jon through doing so.Also, Broseph, >>1862327
>>1862330>>1862333Ah, alright. Fair enough.Hrm, so how does the fanart dealie work? Could I get some more spellbooks with that?
>>1862333"Pffft, we'll deal with it when that happens. Probably just gonna tape a stick to the stump or something">>1862332What about today
Rolled 42, 56 = 98 (2d100)>>1862298pre-rolling to produce potion of fabulous hair growth that we will call FolliCall and a potion of hair removal that we will call Baldimore.Also, its 2am so i'm calling it a night.
Rolled 64, 78 = 142 (2d100)>>1862346
>>1862345>>1862342Anyway, does anyone has anything they need to do before we continue back where we left off? I want to check what the new guys have in their inventory before we do so.
>>1862346>>1862349Bob tried to produce potion of fabulous hair growth that he would call FolliCall and a potion of hair removal that he would call Baldimore.But he fucked up and and the concoctions exploded and knocked him out>>1862342Ah yes. And how many fanarts was that, about 4 aint it.
>>1862345it's the day of my horrible birthwhen my orc mother released a spore seed from her tooth like womb. WHY TODAY!?
>>1862353three, actually. One of two forms for bob.one of Eldritch Oswell and Joseph.and Wilda.
>>1862354I'm sorry for your loss
>>1862353How many fanarts did I produce, anyway? I'm sure I did a few. myself.>>1862354Wait, orc mother? What do you mean by that?
>>1862356it can't be helped Mushroom dad is more upset than Ihahahahahaha!
>>1862357you see the orc in my name?I'm an Orc. If you missed that.
>>1862361Last time I checked, Jon wasn't a orc. Unless you're actually a orc who knocked out the real Jon and pretended to be him all this time, in which case I might need to mace your face in.
>>1862355Then you get 3 pieces of equipment from the Hunter Merchant's chest of wondersbooks, robes, staves, hat n shit>>1862357Yes, but all of em were mostly reaction images of yourself, and we dont promote narcissism here
>>1862363we are doing meta right now Op figured that out you should too.
>>1862365>and we dont promote narcissism hereReally activates the almonds there, OP.
>>1862369I know right
>>1862352I should have a (completely non-heretical) spellbook with my own healing spells and offense magic in there, A magic staff, and a pouch full of totally normal reagents.Also a little envelope in my hat addressed to me.>>1862365Alright, I'll take a nice new staff. And a book on some magic that can be used against vampires.I'll go with another book to boost healing spells. I'll do better clothing later.
>>1862371Would it count as fanart if I draw the other hunters clothes being worn by Wilda by any chance?>>1862373We already have two healers (Me and Horace), so I think you might be able to skip the healing spells for now.
>>1862377I'm curious if healing a vampire hurts them, but if you insist.>>1862365change healing book for a book on animating constructs.
>>1862373>>1862373> And a book on some magic that can be used against vampires.
>>1862384and a handy cook book
>>1862382You're thinking of zombies and skeletons there. Vampires still has a thread on the mortal coil, so healing them still heals them.>>1862384Apparently cooking is now considered a form of magic. Huh.
>>1862397I mean, she asked for a book about magic that is effective against vampires. This implies that cooking is magic.
>>1862407ah makes sense
>>1862407Now you're saying that cooking isn't inherently magical in itself. Which is it, OP?
>>1862407Go visit Brobat
>>1862407Oh good, I was missing that one back home.
>>1862412Heeeey, how about we come along with you? I think I left something over at his place that I really need back.
>>1862416I'll get your stuff back
>>1862412>>1862413Bob tries to leave!Bob can't leave. Something's pulling him back
>>1862421Oh my. Are you saying... Bob finds me... attractive?eheheheh... I'm sorry.
>>1862419>>1862421I know, that's why I'm coming with you, to get my stuff back from them.
>>1862421>>1862427Couldn't get away. I doubt Brobat would trust me with you in tow, Wilda. And I don't want you trying to murderize him
>>1862421you can never leave us bob
>>1862430That's why I have that mask, to pretend to be your mini-you, me.
>>1862434Maybe Brobat's not high enough to be fooled
>>1862426Well it's more like an actual invisible physical force pulling him back by the head, preventing him from leaving.
>>1862436Wait, did the Alter Priest cast some kind of invisable binding rope to him or something?
>>1862444>>1862436Sorry, I'm not into bondage
>>1862440>>1862443"That mask I sold you is enchanted to prevent you from leaving the party"
>>1862446Nice one, HM. That calls for what you guys call a hi-five!
>>1862446Shiet. Can't trust a former vampire eh? Will it let me go if I take Wilda with me?
>>1862446Interesting.Anyone else in the party have garlic by any chance?
>>1862447>>1862449>>1862451"You must have at least 2 hunters following you to count as a party">>1862453"I can sell you some"Also shhhh, nobody say anything about me not actually giving the 3 equipment for Cordelia yet
>>1862457Well, do you happen to have any vampire disguises that we can use with someone to pretend to be bloodsuckers so that we can go along with Bob?Also, OP, you said nobody should say anything about that, but you just said so right here, right now.
>>1862457What if I take the mask off
>>1862469It would be extremely painful.
>>1862457now pet bob
>>1862476>Not "You're a small girl"Why do you always have to ruin the jokes, Bob.
>>1862483You're a big girl for jokes>>1862480Don't come onto me Jon
>>1862463"Go a range of selection from cheap wooden masks to form fitting fake faces"
>>1862486Take off the mask
>>1862486Which one is more effective in the goal of pretending to be a vampire, then?
>>1862490Under it is another mask
>>1862495Sorry merchant.Meant to take off my own mask
>>1862495The classic double mask, always handy to prevent a dramatic unmasking.
>>1862501Under it is another mask
>>1862511Keep taking off masks and sell them to hunter merchant
>>1862457I will trade you two dried frogs and an eye of newt for some garlic.Also, any books on conjuring constructs or nice magical staves? I'll settle for one on animating objects...
>>1862514The spare masks disappear as soon as Bob pulls them off.>>1862523Cordelia got some garlic, a new staff and a new book
>>1862538So does anyone want to come with Wilda and I to get her stuff back
>>1862538I gotta take a nap I'll be back later
>>1862545I'll say Cordelia should come along, that way we can have Team Girls' Night Out for a while!
>>1862556I'm not a girl though
>>1862545Sweet!>>1862545>>1862556Right! Team Girl's night out. Bob you are a girl now.
>>1862562Ask dice god if I was a girl long ago that was cursed to be a man
>>1862559You look enough like a girl to count, tho. Just let that hair flow, and people will mistake you for one.
>>1862559Would you like me to try to fix that with magic? It's not really my forte, but...
>>1862565Odds or evens?
>>1862575Evens, sure>>1862567We'll see if it comes to that
>>1862578I mean, I could try it anyway even if that's not the case...But I call dibs on True Walter's dress.
>>1862578Roll 1d6 for the answer to your question of " if I was a girl long ago that was cursed to be a man"Odds: Nah, bob just have a bitchfaceEvens: Yeah
Rolled 3 (1d6)>>1862586Let's see what the answer of my one true deity is
>>1862586>>1862590I thought your one true deity was whatever god the vampires pray to? The vampire god?
>>1862590Turns out the answer was genetics.Bob just had a bitchface
>>1862599Guess that still makes you a homo then, Bob. A homo alongside Mr. Bitchface Joseph.
>>1862594There's no vampire god. Most just worship Kaine>>1862599I guess I gotta endure it for now
>>1862599We can do the magic anyways. I never got to test it before.
>>1862607Well aight, guess it's better to be a girl than a trap dude.
>>1862607Why do I have the feeling we're entering a piss forest all of a sudden?
>>1862619Do I need to roll for this?>>1862612I am not familiar with this term
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>1862623Roll 1d10
>>1862619Just fuck me up senpai
>>1862619Oh wow, she turned her hat back to black. That's some powerful magic.>>1862623You poor, naive adult...
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1862624Damn, that's a bit beyond my skill level at this time. Sorry Bob.
>>1862634It's cool, don't worry
>>1862634Due to not being well-versed in this shcool of magic...Cordelia accidentally summons the spirit of Chad the First to kick Bob in the face instead. THe spirit then disappears.
>>1862647I am REALLY sorry. Let's keep moving.
>>1862647Call Chad the first of my memories a shit sucker
>>1862647We all make that mistake sometimes, trying to shift another person's gender from one to another, but end up summoning a spirit of that person's rival. I think it's time to get my stuff back.Also, I'll just leave this here.
>>1862656The memory of Chad the first then kicks Bob in the face
>>1862665Let me try before continuingBrew a potion of gender bending>>1862663Coolio
>>1862665Will the memory of that memory of Chad the First also kick Bob in the face?
>>1862668Bob accidentally crewed a potion of Kicking Bob in the face instead
>>1862663Wilda looks adorable as a smol witch.>>1862665Apparently I have a talent for necromancy though. I'll have to keep an eye out for tomes of that.
>>1862672Might as well join the club, and kick Bob in the face myself.
>>1862672Holy shit.>>1862676All the cool kids are doing it.
>>1862672Stop crewing shit and brew the potion
>>1862676>>1862683Before Bob can stop crewing and actually brewing....Wilda kicked him in the face
>>1862689Hey, this is fun!
>>1862689Help me please, assault
>>1862695You heard him, Broseph, he's asking to be assaulted!
>>1862689>>1862693I thought you wanted your gear back. Then again, I did waste time trying to turn him into a girl...
>>1862695>>1862693>>1862709And so Broseph removed Wilda....AND THEN KICKED BOB IN THE FACE.Nah just kidding. If he did he'd probably decap Bob.
>>1862724Thank you Broseph, you're a kind lad. Just like your brother Joseph, sometimes, when he's not causing chaos
>>1862724I'm gonna heal bob now, okay? Okay.I know how to do this decently at least.
>>1862724Well, before heading off, check to see what I can gain from the fanart over at >>1862663, and blast Bob with a healing round from my cannon to bring him back to full health.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1862729>>1862731Roll 1d10
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1862736Isn't this overkill?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1862736Bang.
>>1862743>>1862741Bob is fully healed. Then enchantment that was put on his masked was also fully healed. Now it can last for another century.
>>1862753ThanksNow brew the potion
>>1862753Very nice. Drinks all around... except all I have is water.
>>1862755The potion was also fully healedSo it kicked Bob in the face again
>>1862755>>1862769In the meantime, I'll see what I can get from the hunter merchant with the fanart I drew.
>>1862769Brew a potion of gender bending, not a potion of face kicking
>>1862776Can you please get out of the piss forest already, Bob? If you don't, the kicking will continue as normal.
>>1862769Was bob ever beaten this much before he switched sides?>>1862779SCORE.
>>1862779How come the witch-like-but-totally-isn't-one girl gets a new staff for her work, but I just get a single burrito?
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1862788He got molested instead>>1862790Because this burrito heals HP to full no matter how much you have left>>1862792Roll 1d10
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1862795
>>1862790I'm new. Supply and demand.Lots of magician gear because no magicians.>>1862795damn that's a good burrito.I might have to go for burritos soon.
>>1862795I'm not one for consumables, excluding the power potions butijustlikethetasteokay? But if that's the only thing I can get, I'll take it. Can it revive someone from the dead as well?
>>1862799Bob accidentally brewed the coffee into a fist that punched him in the face.>>1862801If you managed to get them to chew it
>>1862803That'll be somewhat easy. How many 'charges' does it have, or is it just a single-use consumable?
>>1862803This is depressing
>>1862803I knew this would happen.We should leave to get that gear now.
>>1862803>>1862809In that case, I would like to trade the burrito in to get that vampire diguise I spoke about, for the non-heretic girl over there.
>>1862808The depressing nature of the situation kicks Bob in the face>>1862814The burrito is traded for a mask
>>1862819>>1862809Here, whatever your name is, have this mask!
>>1862819Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
>>1862842Now let head out, to get some loot from the vampires, get hint to who the next Elder Vampire is, and get my gear back!And, also, I never really got your name, witchy-hatted lady.
>>1862842K take these fools to get Wildas stuff back from Brobat
>>1862846>>1862847Moving to Brobat
>>1862858Oh shit Brobat, look out for that loading arrow!
>>1862858My one true dice god, can we have a random encounter on the way there?
>>1862860"Who said that">>1862869Now who wants to roll for encounter.
>>1862872I can, if no one else is up for the task
>>1862872Since Bob asked for it, he can roll for it. Also, equip the mask I took from Bob and turn my hat 180' so that I can pretend to be a little vampire girl.
>>1862880Roll 1d1010: Armless legless ghouls8-9: Vampires5-7: Stronger vampires3-4: Elite Vampires2: Mini Boss1: Final Boss>>1862888>equip the mask I took from Bob and turn my hat 180'
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1862902Rolling 1 here and making Kaine appear would be kinda awkward wouldn't it
>>1862902On the Y axis, not the X one!
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1862846"My name is Cordelia.">>1862902the perfect disguise
>>1862914I'm Wilda, and wHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO
>>1862906don't worry, our disguises are FLAWLESS.
>>1862914>>1862919Luckily it was only my roll, Cordelias roll shouldnt count
>>1862919I forgot to remove the dice after updating.
Is OP kill?
>>1862990Yeah. PC Crashed so I had to reboot. Dangit.So what's going on again
>>1862994We found some vamps
some stupid fuck on Random got my work IP Banned by asking for moneyalso new thread yay.>>1862994Group up with the Party.
>>1862994Bob rolled a 8, so we're getting Vampires according to what you posted.
>>1863007Oh hey Joseph is awake
>>1863014but more importantlyWhere is brobat?
>>1863014Oh shit, is that Brad and Jake?
>>1863016Somewhere else behind after these guys, deeper into the 7th floor
>>1863023What's up guys
>>1863023How do you do, fellow vampires?
>>1863030>>1863028"Who the hell are you assholes"
>>1863023this might have been a poorly thought out idea, Coming along with the espionage team. I'm just gonna go on back to the hideout, i heard we have a skeleton now.
>>1863037I'm Matt, from the alchemical combat division. And this is my cousin
>>1863037>>1863040I'm Blilda, Matt's cousin.
>>1863037They are vampires, and I am a vampire witch. We are here to drop off resumes.
>>1863038The armless wonder returns to base>>1863040>>1863042>>1863045"Never heard of such a division""Yeah, you bozos seems like you're lying""Plus we don't use resumes. We have portfolios"
>>1863049Master Mark formed a alchemical combat division unit shortly before his demise, I'm not surprised you guys who live higher up haven't heard about it yet.
>>1863049I heard someone cleared the lower floors and flew in from out of state to get a job and you jerks tell me NOW I needed a portfolio?!
>>1863056"Oh so you one of Mark's eh? So, if you're from an official divison, where are your papers?"
>>1863049Why would I, Blilda, lie about who I am? Can't you hear what my buddies are saying?
>>1863061I hear some suspicous conversation from the group. I'm going to wait outside the Hallway, where the vampires cant see me, And if things get rough, Jump in to help.
>>1863061What, you think I just carry around my papers all the time? They're at my room. Just chill out playas.
>>1863066>>1863067"Then go get it. Nobody's passing through here without proper clearance"
>>1863061I told you all I have is a resume. But I mean, I could always show you a few fireballs if you want that.
Am I allowed to post a scene or is this Op only draws? had a idea of someone from the group entering an almost empty tavern.
>>1863073Say, Blordelia, can you magic up our papers so that we can give them them.>>1863076Blordelia, no!
>>1863073Come one man, my room is at the lower floors. It's gonna take ages to get em. How about I hook ya up with some good shit and maybe you can turn a blind eye to our passing?
>>1863080What? Yeah, sure, I can produce papers like that.Let me just... 'teleport' in our papers. And my portfolio.
>>1863079>>1863089What did he mean by this?
I just noticed Cordelia has the same stats as me but +1 hp
>>1863096Because she doesn't get molested by vampires in her spare time. Also, I didn't bring this up before, but I have much more health than Joseph right now.
>>1863095>>1863079I'd like to say a fanart of the group in a tavern, but I think he's also trying to QM. In a NAP Thread...
>>1863098Blilda said not to. I'm gonna bring in papers instead.Entire legal, totally legitimate vampire papers.
>>1863102>but I think he's also trying to QM. In a NAP Thread...You know what that means, right?
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1863104Roll 1d10 to warp in totes legit vampire papers
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1863112The dice have been cruel today.
>>1863130damnit. This one worked last time I cast it, I swear.
>>1863130Accidentally warped in Broseph instead"OH SHIT A HUNTER""I KNEW IT! THOSE AREN'T REAL VAMPS!""GET 'EM!"
>>1863141Welp. Let Broseph deal with them
>>1863141RUN AROUND FROM THE CORRIDOR AND CHOP THE FUCK OUT OF A VAMPIRES HEAD
>>1863141Well, crap. Mace Tornado the vampires in Flail mode as they are distracted by Broseph being summoned!
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1863154>>1863150>>1863149Before anybody else can do anything.JOSEPH JUMPS IN FOR A SURPRISE ATTACK WHOOOOOOOOAJoseph roll 1d15Power +12 JosephVampire has +16 Power
Rolled 5 (1d15)>>1863160EAT SHIT
>>1863162Yeah, you're going to be eating shit right there, Joseph.
>>1863162aw...>>1863164well it is kinda hard to attack with one armand a nerfed axethanks other joseph
>>1863160Fuck it. We're going loud. FIREBALL!Also, I am REALLY good at summoning for some reason.
>>1863167Why not be a tank and use a shield
>>1863172He has one arm.
>>1863184He only needs 1 arm to use a shield
>>1863162The vamp counters with a sword slash!Joseph has 16/20 HP reft!Now who's active in this battle so I can count the turn order?
>>1863193Do we need to fight? Can't Broseph just obliterate them?
>>1863193I'm still here.
>>1863193I'm here for like 2 hrs and then I get burritos. FIREBALL!
>>1863197Well sure, I mean if you want him to take all the credit, mmrmmrmmrm
>>1863204I guess we can let Broseph stand back and let him see if we work well together
>>1863204Can I join in with Broseph in murdering the vampires, tho? Please?
>>1863204Cordelia, Bob, and Wilda have the same speed. Joseph is slow tho.
Rolled 3, 7 = 10 (2d10)>>1863208Yes. That could also work. Let's have Broseph hang back for a while to see if the new members can work together.And since everyone involved in this battle has 15 Speed. Cept for JosephEveryone, except for Joseph, will now have to roll for their turn order. Order goes from the highest roller to lowestWilda, bob and Cordelia roll 1d10
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>1863225Gotta go fast.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1863225
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1863225If people have the same speed the turn order should go by the alphabet order of the first letter of everyones names :^)
>>1863233So you go behind Cordelia then, Girlyface.
>>1863233and have Wilda go last?
>>1863233Oh okay.Aaron Aaronson the vampire goes first
>>1863236Yes>>1863235Real names, not nicknames Bub
>>1863238might need to heal joseph, just saying.
>>1863239Isn't Girlyface your original name, however?>>1863238So wait, if he's Aaron Aaronson, wouldn't he just be Aaron Jr.?
>>1863247Nah my original name is Bob Ezekiel the Fourth
>>1863244Aaron Aaronson then pulls out his Positron Rifle and aims it at Girlyface
>>1863257wait, how the hell do vampires have this kind of tech so early? The fishiness of this place just got even fishier.
>>1863257You just activated my trap card, and I use the trap card to summon all five pieces of exodia, fulfilling the ultimate board state and killing my opponent
Rolled 7, 4 = 11 (2d10)>>1863264You dare doubt the unfishness of my fish?Then the vampire opted to stab bob twice instead.Bob roll 1d10Vamp has +16 PowerBob has +15 Speed
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1863272
>>1863272Be careful OP, he's going to fire you out of the Positron Rifle!
>>1863275GirlyBitchFaceMcGee gets stabbed twice and now has 7/15 HP reft.And according to alphebetical order, it's now Cordelia's turn
>>1863272alright bob you better hit them back hard.
>>1863286>>1863288I can intercept to save Girlyface's face when needed, so can you figure out what abilities you have to use at your exposal?
>>1863291WE DON'T NEED HEALS JUST YET. Focus on dealing damage for us right now.
>>1863291Ah yes, let's pick that spell from the current spellbook, yes?
>>1863295>>1863286FIREBALL IT IS.
>>1863303>Face RotGood times...
Rolled 2, 7 = 9 (2d10)>>1863306Roll 1d10 to cast Fireball at the vampires+20 Special Cordelia+14 Willl vamps
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1863328SET MAGIC TO FUCK IT!
>>1863350...my rolls are really bad today.
>>1863328>>1863350>>1863364Thankfully the vampires weren't prepared for a magic user to show up to murder their kind.
>>1863350The fireball explodes in their faces!Both vampires now have 10/18 HP left!And they're also on fire.It's now the turn of Frank the vamp.The burning causes his HP to drop to 8/18 HP!Hunters roll 1d10, lowest gets targetted
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1863384COME AT ME, VAMPIRE!
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1863384
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1863384here we go
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1863387OH SHIT SPEAR ATTACKWilda roll 1d10+16 Power Frank the Vamp+20 Power Wilda
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1863412Denied.
>>1863414Blocked!It's now Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth's turn
>>1863430Chill it with the names guys plzChuck weed potion at vamps
>>1863439>Chill it with the names guys plzAlright then, Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands.
>>1863445That's trying too hard already.
>>1863439Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands throws the weed potion at the vampires.Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands, heir to the throne of Cocks, massager of penises and toucher of weiners, roll 1d10Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands, heir to the throne of Cocks, massager of penises , toucher of weiners, chronic masturbator, pincher of posteriors and wearer of shorts has +20 SpecialVamps has +14 Will
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1863469And that's trying too hard to the maximumAlso you forgot your rolls scrub
>>1863469>>1863472Are we sure Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands, heir to the throne of Cocks, massager of penises , toucher of weiners, chronic masturbator, pincher of posteriors, wearer of shorts and betrayer to his own kind who molested him isn't trying to pretend to be a homoerotic version of Plague Knight from those vidya games?I mean, I can see a resemblance between the former and the latter.
>>1863472>>1863472Suddenly, a giant foot appears and kicked Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands, heir to the throne of Cocks, massager of penises , toucher of weiners, chronic masturbator, pincher of posteriors, wearer of shorts and betrayer to his own kind who molested him, in the face.
>>1863479what is this quest even.
>>1863487Aight I get it, could we get back on track?
>>1863492To murder vampires, of course!
>>1863494"...d...duude...I think I regconize that voice....I think...that's Bob, maaaan""Oh shiiiiiiiiit...Bob? what is he doing on the hunters' siide, dude?""fuuuuck man I dunnnooooo....maybe....maybe,,,,he found a new gay loveer or something, hehehehehe""pfffttt...hahahahahahah"Vamps then started chuckling to themselves uncontrollably.Also their to hit bonuses got a -4.It's now Wilda's turn
>>1863519I need that positron cannon. it's vital for magical things.
>>1863527I would think that my voice is a tad different from back when I was a vambeast
>>1863538Which is why it took getting high for the vampires to regconize it
>>1863543How feminine or masculine is my voice on a scale of 1 to 10?
>>1863527Mace Tornado, in mace form! I want to see if I can knock Frank's head off his shoulders!>>1863538>>1863543Even then, it took until you throwing the weed potion for them to realise it is you.>>1863547I say roll for it on a d10.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1863555Aight, leaving it up to the true god as usual
>>1863563Ah yes. Bob's voiced can be described as "Slightly deeper than a little girl"
>>1863567Oh god damn it. So, uhh... Can I roll for the size of my male member?
>>1863572At this rate, it's going to be concaved private.
>>1863572are you sure you want to risk that?
Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d10)>>1863553Roll 2d10Wilda has +20 PowerVamps has 16-4 = +12 PowerIf Wilda's first roll beat my second roll, and if Wilda's second roll is >=4 then Frank gets his head smushed>>1863572It's smaller than Mark's
>>1863582This is the last thread of hope I have left
>>1863585Well that's a given. Just wanted to know the estimated size, given that the vampbeasts intimidate and lead others with the size of their schlongs after all
Rolled 8, 8 = 16 (2d10)>>1863585>It's smaller than Mark'sAnd last we seen of him, he didn't even have a dick.
>>1863593Oh he totally did. That doll body was anatomically correct.Too correct.
>>1863597...Well, that's getting too lewd for a little primordial girl. I didn't need the thought of the true Walter fucking Doll!Mark in my mind.
>>1863602Too late. Now you know what happens during the times when Mark gets blackouts and doesn't remember anything.
>>1863602>>1863597So did master Mark even know Walter was a grill all along?
>>1863606At least now it might give a reason as to why Bob would want to murder Walter, what with her raping the unconscious body of Mark and all.
>>1863610But I thought master Mark was married, wouldn't his wife want revenge first?
>>1863593Frank's head was smashed into bits! Frank is dead!It's now Aaron's turn again! The previous assault left him with 3 hp!The burning drops him down to 1 HP!Now hunters roll 1d10, lowest gets targeted>>1863608No! Walter pretty much rapes Mark's unaware body every night up until his second death!
>>1863621Motherfucker, I'm gonna get that bitch back for this
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1863621How about you try to take revenge against me for murdering your friend, Aaron Aaronson of the Aarongrandson clan!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1863621
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1863629Being near death and having his ally killed activates Aaron Aaronson's Vampiric Valour! His power is now the highest power stat present in the battle +1Which means he now has 21 PowerWilda roll 1d10Wilda has 20 Power
>>1863621SONOVA-I have to go for burritos soon!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1863654Gee, you really need to CHILL OUT there.
>>1863655Can you say that you're willing to combo with me in my upcoming action, however?
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1863621>>1863659It'll be like an hour tops.>>1863662Will do!
>>1863657Blocked!Cordelia's turn! Finish it!
>>1863677LET COMBO, CORDELIA!I'll hold him in place, and you keep punching him until he's dead!
>>1863680Cordelia's silent, who's available instead?
>>1863711Well I am
>>1863713I mean, if Girlyface wants to be the one punching, I wouldn't stop him. He need the strength training anyway.
>>1863717I think you should do the punching
>>1863713Well sure, it's Girlyface's turn instead.
>>1863730Is that master Mark? Looks pretty badassCombo with Wilda by collecting blood all over the hallway and launching Wilda at the vamp with itAssuming I still have blud magic
>>1863730Classic mistake OP, you posted the wrong image. Here's the correct one.Also see if it is possible to combo with Bob to allow me to drain this vampire of his soul, to power up my eldritch side.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1863736Wilda and Girlyface Mcbitchtits Homopants Gaylord Ezekiel the Fourth of House Suckdics of the Southern Blowjoblands, heir to the throne of Cocks, massager of penises , toucher of weiners, chronic masturbator, pincher of posteriors, wearer of shorts and betrayer to his own kind who molested him isn't, roll 1d10Combo has a 20 Power + 20 Special = 40 BonusVampire has +21 power
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1863747
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1863747This works as well. Make sure to punch him instead of using my mace for more action-ness.
>>1863765Time to loot the bodies, then. Let see what they have on them.
I guess we should loot the poor bastards. Ask Broseph what he thinks too
>>1863767>>1863775You got:- A sword- A spear- Bag of gold that yielded 10 coinsAlso, Broseph sez:"That went well"
>>1863781Almost flawless, as well. In the meantime, I'll group Girlyface and Bitchface (Bob and Joseph) together so that my healing round can do its AoE magic on them. Also, what do we have in our inventory?
>>1863781>>1863787I can just chug my endless stash of potions though
>>1863787>Also, what do we have in our inventory?As of now.- A sword- A spear- 10 coins
>>1863793Let's go get Wilda's Shit back.After that, What do we do? Progress up the tower, or loot the floor currently for more gold?
>>1863793Don't forget the 20 copies of my album B.O.B
>>1863798That counts as personal inventory.
>>1863793>>1863803What about our personal inventories, then? I kinda want to do a bit of crafting to make our junk into more valuable junk.
>>1863797>loot the floor currently for more gold"Ooh, don't mind if we do">>1863809Wilda's personal inventory:- Half-eaten taco- Mace that can turn into a flail- Cannon hatThat's it. All the previous collected things are still with Brobat
>>1863838Let's go talk to Brobat
>>1863838...I honesty feel uncomfortable with those Kingslayers running about. It's just a feeling I have.Also, guess I'll combine the Sword and Spear into a Speord, and maybe see if Girlyface can enchant it with a potion.
>>1863838Alright guys, should we set out to get Wildas shit now?
>>1863848Joseph, what do you have in your own inventory? Can you lend me a stake or two for later, as well?
>>1863847Behold, the Speord. A noble weapon, for a more civilized time.Also who's ready to confront Brobat
>>1863857Hey, Joseph, Broseph, how about you get your vampire disguises on. We might not need to fight to get my stuff back in the upcoming confrontation.
>>1863864>>1863857If you guys are coming with don't attack Brobat, please.
>>1863857I AM BACKthanks broseph
>>1863857I put on my Vampire disguise, I guess.
>>1863857I'm gonna try to conjure up 'legitimate' vampire documents again, now that we aren't fighting
>>1863892>>1863897We don't need documents for Brobat
>>1863892Perfect, they wouldn't expect a thing. Let continue forward.
>>1863901it's for other vampires. Just in case. we have time now.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1863897Roll 1d10
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1863922always helps to be prepared...
>>1863932Did you make sure to account for Yusuf and Brusuf, Blordelia?
>>1863940there's 5 documents here from what I see, so yeah.None for Oswell, Jon, or Horace though.
>>1863953Good thing they're sleeping together back at HQ, alongside that new skeleton that we apparently now have.
>>1863963K lets get to Brobat now
>>1863963Double check my own ID, just to see if it is accurate to my lies.
>>1863964I doubt skeletons need ID. We'll just say I'm a necromancer or something.
>>1863979Good enough. Let continue onward, to Brobat.
>>1863979you DID say you were bob's cousin...
>>1863987He said it first, not me.
>>1863987Now let's head onwards, as Bob suggested
>>1864000Indeed, let do so.
>>1864002>>1864019As the vampires guarding has been destroyed, the deep dark corridor is now ready to be explored.Prolly gonna some more enemies in there though, wo wants to roll ofr it.
>>1864036I say I can give it a roll.
>>1864036Why is Brobat in level 7 anyways and not batcave?
>>1864036I'll summon the final boss if I roll...
>>1864038And so Wilda rolledba dum tish>>1864041Level 7 has an all-you-can-eat buffet at 8pm
>>1864056This is truly the Dark Souls of adventure things.
>>1864056>>1864066No wonder the hitboxes are so off
>>1864066Wilda was then immediately backstabbed by an invader
>>1864093So are we returning to our own worlds now that the host died? Fucking casual Wilda using summons though
>>1864093>>1864101It's not my fault scrubs need to rely on underhanded tactics to win a fight. And I use summons because they're fun.
>>1864101Anyway, anybody feeling lucky, roll 1d1010: Way to brobat is clear7-9: Some more vampires4-6: Some stronger vampires2-3: Elite vampires1: Fall down and break your hip in 57 places
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1864115As I said, I'll roll for it. Hopefully we get to have a rematch against xXSWAGLORD420Xx.
>>1864124>>1864115Way to go Wilda, our OG
>>1864124Oh sweet the coast is clear, at least from here to brobat.
>>1864129>>1864130Damn it. My luck's too good.
>>1864142And so the party comes accross brobat carrying a plate of food he got from an all-you-can-eat buffet, on his way back to the batcave"Huh? Who are you?"
>>1864150Hey bro, it's me Bob
>>1864150I present my ID, "I'm the vampire witch"
>>1864152"Ya sure? You sound like a teenage girl going through puberty">>1864156"Oh okay"
>>1864163Brobat's seen and heard me in human form so why's he confused?Yes it's me Bob, can you gimme Wilda's stuff?
>>1864169Maybe because you kept your mouth shut while you were in your new form. But that's just my opinion on it.
>>1864163It's me, Yusufyou don't remember Bob mentioning me, Brobat?
>>1864173I did ask him what my face look liked, so he's heard me talk at least once
>>1864179just show him your ID damnit.
>>1864176"hmmm, kinda. To be honest I'm kinda baked right right now"
>>1864214you should relax, BrobatI'll take this stuff and gamble it at the casinois that alright with you?
>>1864214Could you give us Wilda's stuff bro?
>>1864219"The casino's closeddd thooough. Some guys wrecked it a while ago">>1864221"Well Iunno. I dont have them with me right now. I hid them back at the batcave"
>>1864226damn kingslayerstake us to the batcave, brobatwe'll chill there and smoke some weed
>>1864226>>1864228That sounds good, let's go
>>1864238>>1864243aw snaphere we go
>>1864238>>1864243I'll be right behind you.
>>1864238Follow brobat to the batcave
>>1864238guess we're going to the batcave.
>>1864243>>1864246>>1864247>>1864252>>1864261The party enters a secret passage and comes into the secret batcave. Brobat plops down onto a huge cushion and motions the party to make themselves comfortable
>>1864270aw shityou got plush seats?
>>1864270Plop down on my usual spot and pull out a couple of joints
>>1864270Where is the ping pong table?
>>1864270I'll just chill then I guess. I actually don't know what anyone's stuff looks like.Hey brobat, got any books on summoning I could use?
>>1864282notion to wilda and the new girl to go look for their stuff
>>1864282Say, do you mind if a little vampiric girl looks around this place to see who else is here, by any chance?
>>1864282While smoking tell Bro what's happened since we last saw eachother
>>1864285"Eyyyy. Yusuf. Why are you pointing around the room?...And who's that standing next to ya? He's kinda creeping me out">>1864287"Yeah sure, I guess">>1864284"Man Iunno, most of the books are Master Mark's, and I dont touch that stuff">>1864289"What happened?"
>>1864304Check if any other vampires are with us first and foremost, before heading off to find my stuff.
>>1864304To bargain for your and Bub's lives I joined up with the hunters
>>1864304Look for said "stuff"
>>1864316You're not even here bozo
>>1864312"You wh-->>1864316 OH SHIT A HUNTER, BATTLESTATIONS!"
>>1864324Do a fake punch to knock Jon out
>>1864324Chill Bro, I won't let em harm you. Just chill out aight and smoke a fat one
>>1864304I'll just take a quick read of them, then, won't borrow them, alright?Then I'll take a look at the books for some spells to copy to my own book.
>>1864327Fall down and fake knock out
>>1864324Well, crap. How the hell did Jon even find his way here? I thought the batcave was secretly secret to Bob and co?
>>1864324where did that one come from?!
Rolled 7, 4 = 11 (2d10)>>1864327>>1864336Roll 1d10 to bust out your acting skills>>1864333Browsing through Mark's book collection
Rolled 11 (1d15)>>1864350EAT SHIT JONFAKEEEEEEEE PUUUUUUUUNCH ATTACK
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1864350Watch as I show you my ...ACTING TALENT!
>>1864350Explain to bro my deal with the hunters
>>1864363I roll to 'attack'
>>1864357>>1864358Guess I can watch this unfold and see the show they put up. Does anyone have any popcorn?
>>1864350>MotherlodeLet's record all I can from Art of Living Armors. Should go well with that construct book I've got.I'll follow with blood magic for noobs if there's time.
>>1864369The roll was for acting you retard
>>1864386Just claim you punched him with your invisible magic vampire arm.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1864363>>1864381d10
>>1864381>>1864386He's a method actor, OP. He does things for real to enhance the spectacle.
>>1864390>>1864358>>1864372The book details ways to bound souls to armors to create minions. But since you're not at Mark's level yet you could only learn the basics of binding a mook soul to a cheap piece of armor like a hat or a glove or something. To be able to bound a soul to an entire suit of armor and make a full bodied minion will require further learning
>>1864406Perform death scene
>>1864406intruder dealt with, brobatno worries
>>1864406looks like I need to look at soul magic stuff, but I'll copy what I can from here.
>>1864406Say, what're you reading there Blordelia?
>>1864424Just some magic tomes. Learning how some things work.>>1864434Holy shit
>>1864434well OP, we hardly knew jonit's time to give him a proper send off
>>1864437Well, since everyone's distracted with Yusuf's performance, we might be able to nick a book or few from them for later. I mean, we might as well.
>>1864438Chop his head off?>>1864436"Wait wait wait wait...hold up bro...Run that by me again...You're working for who to do what now">>1864422Indeed, since that living armor book just assumes the reader already know how to take souls to use for nefarious purposes. The ability to take souls needed to be learned from somewhere else
>>1864453>The ability to take souls needed to be learned from somewhere else*Cough Cough*
>>1864453Working for the hunters in stopping the eternal night in order to secure your and Bub's well being
>>1864453what, noOP come on
>>1864449sounds like a good plan... can your hat hold any?If brobat isn't looking, I'll slide a couple in. Blood magic and soul taking...
>>1864466"Wait. so...you're working for the hunters...then that must mean these guys are..."
>>1864350>>1864453>It's RIGHT THERE.Gonna take that soul taking book.
>>1864474I think our plan might be falling apart, and since my hat is basically a teleporter, you hide the books under your clothes, as I keep watch over what happen->>1864479His cousins, yeah. Who would've known?
>>1864479>>1864485yeah, we're his cousins, brobatyou must not be thinking straight because of that weed
>>1864479>Bob you fool."We are vampires, we have vampire ID Relax good sir."
>>1864479Yeah, they're hunters. I was hoping you'd lay low until we're done with the mission or until we all die horribly
>>1864490>BOB NO.Just start dropping books into the hat now, bob is ruining everything.
>>1864496If you think I'm lying to my bro you're wrong, busta
>>1864496Don't do that, we might accidentally give them to the Hunter Merchant! Just hide them in your own hat or something.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1864490"FUCKING SHIT BOB WHAT THE FUCK BROOOOOOOOOOO"Brobat then pulls a lever, the room is then flooded with weed smoke.All hunters roll 1d10
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1864502BOB YOU FUCK BOYGOD DAMN IT
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1864502God damn it bro, I thought your loyalties were with master Mark and not the other fags
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1864502Well, fuck. We should've interrogated Bob for where the batcave was instead of doing what we just did.
>>1864503>>1864508>>1864505"I am loyal to Master Mark. WHICH IS WHY I'LL NEVER BE UNDER THE THUMB OF THE FUCKS WHO KILLED HIM! TWICE! I'LL BUST BUB OUT AND REVIVE MASTER MYSELF!"The other hunters missed it, but Wilda managed to see Brobat escaping through a hidden window.
>>1864520dude weed lmao
>>1864520Brobat no! You'll get yourself killed!
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>1864502Alright then, take all the books into my cloak and hat. This will be annoying...
>>1864520God damn it. I'll give chase and hunt Brobat down. Bob, if you don't want your friend killed, you better brew another one of those 'vampirism-b-gone' potions that you used on yourself.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>1864502And brb
>>1864527Are you sure you can take brobat down?on the other hand... loot the batcave!
>>1864524"Then at least I'll die standing, rather than live kneeeeliiiiinng">>1864526And so Cordelia looted the books like a huge neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrd>>1864527
>>1864532I'll be fine. If you can find my stuff, just deliver it to me through Joseph's hat. I might need it.
>>1864538I need to hurry up, he's getting away!
>>1864538Start looking for Wilda's stuff
>>1864538God damn it you damn young stupid brat! My plan was for us OGs to live with Master Mark in his new place once this all was done! To achieve desired results, you have to deal in extremes!
>>1864542Wilda chases Brobat's through the hidden passageway>>1864544
>>1864563look behind the paperinb4 'ur a fag'
>>1864568>>1864566ah. Just a wall.
>>1864563Y̛̻̭̹̤͓͑͛̈́̊́͜o̜̜̦̩͓̓̓͋̽̿̉̚͘͝u̸̥̼͉̪̩̳̯̜̒̈́̆̒͊̌̚͝ c̨̻̩͓͈̑̋͌̀̋̚͢͝a̷͉̠̙̞̤̭̥̝͇͗̿̍̇̌̊̊͘͘͟n̢̖͎͚͎̮̥̹̋̽̍̈̽̃̑̋͘ͅͅ'̵̛̜͎̟̩̤̭̖̯̺͍̓̎̄̓͐͋͑̓͠t̨̟͙̩͙̣̳̪͚͊͊̂̐͗ r̸̹̥̥̟̝̠̹̄̔̀͊́̓͊ų̷̪͇͎͚̠̥́̆͊̏͗̊͂͊̓͑ͅn͚͉͓̦̬̾̿̔͛͊̈́͗͘͜ a̴̧̪̬̼͛̄́̿̈́̐̏ͅw̶̨̮͚͉̦͈̱̳̩͆̑͐̄͢͠ȧ̵̛̜̱͔̤͛̔̀͛̀̌ͅy̷̗̭̼͍͍̐̾̄́̍̿́͘ f̡̪̝̖͈̈̈̀̓̀̏͑̿o̩̠͈̮̮̼͈̰͋̂̊̈͑͜͢ŗ̶̨̻̼̩͎́̔̀̂͂͒̂͗́͟ m̡̨̠͇̺̯͐̄͗̓̌̌͠u̡̢̻͙͚̞͍̮͐̾̃͒̈́c̸͕͈̯̼̞̦̟͕̜͒̉̊̀͊̋̿͘ͅḩ̢̟͙̭͎̦̝̘̖̂̀̇̽̓̾ l̴̼̗̼̺̼̦̐̈́̿̂̀͌̚͞ͅo̴̼̤̰̠͇̹̭͖̗̘͌̌̈͝͡n̢̺̱͖̮̥͗̌́͊͒̂̆̔̚͞g̡̰̮͔̬͇̠͕̘̏̓̿͆̽͊͐͘̕͟͝ę͎̣̤̙͛̆̓̊̄ͅr̵͖̟̞̮͍̾̊̐̈́͋̃̌͝,̵̢̢̨̖͈͓͚̺̤̏̒͂͒͠ B̸̼͖̗͓̭̬̰̞̳̾͗̌͒͐̋̈́͜r̶͇̳̩͔̞̩̗̺͕̮̊̌͐̚͝͡ọ̡̧̤̣̗̣͒̉̀̚̕͟͜͟b̸̰̺͎͖͈̙͑͊̈͊̑̈̍̊̚͡ä̶̢̗͚͔̫̳́̋̀̆̎͗̊̐ţ̛̪̰̭̜̠͒̀̊͟͡.
>>1864569take the paper and nail and stash it into our inventorykeep looking for wilda's stuff
>>1864569Please stop Bro! Just lemme explain please!
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1864574Roll 1d10
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1864582fwoosh
>>1864538....But at least I've got a bunch of magic tomes to read.Oh wait...>>1864569>I can flyHey wilda, I'm coming to give you a lift.
>>1864580>>1864583And so you failed
>>1864588Stand and fight, you coward!
>>1864588keep looking for wilda's stuff
>>1864588Bro! Just trust in me, please! I've always had the best of our master and ours in mind!
>>1862457>"You must have at least 2 hunters following you to count as a party"huh, I wonder what sparkled that new rule
>>1864595Brobat turns around and face the oncoming hunter + Bob>>1864601Only applies to Bob and his mask enchantment
>>1864609>>1864600Try to reason with him
>>1864609How about we fight, here and now. Just because your friend here doesn't want you dead, I'll try to keep your soul on this mortal coil.
>>1864612Bob's pleas seem to fall on deaf ears as Brobat stays silent
>>1864609>Only applies to Bob and his mask enchantmentah, well that's fair
>>1864616...Wait, did he lure us into a trap or something?
>>1864616Fucking hell, if you don't follow me up on this one bro, all that I've done for us will be in vain, and we all might as well have thrown our lives away
>>1864609Don't want him dead? Can I turn him into a toad?
>>1864618Well, he stopped right here, at the dead end of the secret corridor, in a tight cramped space...hmmmm
>>1864629Again, this feels like a trap. Bob, you go talk with your friend, as I check if anything is behind us or around us.
>>1864629>>1864619Brobat, I'm just saying, you have to trust me or we're both fucking dead
>>1864633>>1864634AAAND THEN...Brobat falls apart
>>1864636I told you it was a trap or something. Jump in my hat, we're heading back to HQ ASAP.
>>1864636... Fuck. It's that fucking bitch Walter. It was just a doll, and now she knows I've turned against them
>>1864639>>1864637Or perhaps it's merely one of Mark's remaining living armors, now used by brobat to be his decoy while he makes his actual escape. You can tell by the fact that the decoy's faceplate doesn't have the fangs like Brobat's
>>1864645Guess that makes sense too. But when did he have time to swap himself with a living armor?
>>1864645Hey hunters, a free armor just lying here easy to pick up!
>>1864645Ah, right. It's quite hard to notice that when it isn't facing forwards you. As I said, we'll warp back to the clocktower through my hat, to make sure everything's ok on that end.>>1864651When I was struggling to get into the secret passage, I imagine.
Oh and now I gotta go take care of some shit. Thread is now on break. I'll be back in about 4 hours. If everybody can continue at that time then we willllllllllllllllllllll.See ya.Updates will be posted here https://twitter.com/notapaladin>>1864651Between >>1864538 and >>1864563
>>1864660Oh fuck, it's the worst kind of trap: a goddamn cliffhanger!
>>1864660I'll be here but that doesn't count I guess>>1864666>that's a cliffhangerI see you don't read Dungeon Meshi, abomination
>>1864645Well this will go great with all these books I picked up.
>>1864660Aw shit what I miss
>>1864992Some birthday this turn out to be!
>>1865011happy birthday meteor puncher
>>1865095may you punch vampire meteor this time
>>1865121That's my new attack next level.
>>1865134what left is to find convenient vampire meteor
>>1865152The move will be Trick a vampire to summon meteor and then smash it into his face
Ah fuck what happened?
>>1865175Stuff, but Op had to go 4 hours ago and now we wait for his return.
>>1865175Stuff and some more stuff. New hunters joined. Bob got forced to switch sides and Wilda still hasn't got her shit backANYWAY WHO'S HERE TO CONTINUUUUE
>>1865181Let's do dis!
>>1865181Take 5 sips of power potion
>>1865181I'm here. Let warp the fuck back to the clocktower.
>>1865181Poor soul with only rubber chicken in his wallet
>>1865192Oh shit we no fight?
>>1865184"nyeeeeh" Brobat says as he rides a magical vampire horse into the night sky>>1865189Jon drinks 5 sips of Power potion, for some reason.
>>1865196Shout after him to land and talk it one on one before doing something you might regret later on
>>1865196Well whoopsGo back with the others then.
>>1865196This must be another fake of his. Again, quickly warp back to the rest of the party through my and Joseph's hat, find my gear, and get ready to stop a breakout.
>>1865198"nyeeeeh" Brobat says as he turns into a Super Vampire and flies into the night sky>>1865199>>1865202So all in favor of 'porting abck to the outpoost says Aye
>>1865204I'll stay here and reflect on the recent happenings and yell for Brobat to come back
>>1865204Get my gear back first, however. That's the reason why we were here. Also, ask Broseph if he can leave a tophat in the batcave, so we can maybe warp back here after we finished dealing with Brobat.
>>1865208>>1865210And so, while Bob contemplates on recent happenings, Wilda looks for her shit. Broseph drops a hat.
>>1865213Dice god help me out here man, I'm begging ya
>>1865213It must be around here, I swear...
>>1865213Help wilda look for her loot
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>1865215Bob prays to Dice God for a dice roll! But then again, there's an anti prayer barrier set up outside that the Hunter Priest is trying to break through. So Bob's pleas has not reached the heavens juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust yet.>>1865216>>1865218Roll 1d10
>>1865224While the one true dice god may live in the heavens, he also exists within my heart
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1865224
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1865224
>>1865226Your heart also doesn't have good coverage>>1865229>>1865227Jon managed to noticed a strange lookcing brick on a nearby wall, like it was loose or something
Jon you better punch that brick
>>1865235I can't believe Girlyface doesn't have any healthcare, the poor thing.Did you find something, Jon.
>>1865235Pray extremely hard, start rolling imaginary dices in your head and start rolling yourself like a dice and praise dice god's name
Sorry, had things to do, back now.
>>1865242Was it flying around with a black cat in the middle of the night, Cordelia?
>>1865235Should I stay here with Wilda or go back to the clock tower?"cause I can stand guard...which means read these books I've taken.
>>1865238>>1865240As Jon was about to remove the brick...he was knocked down to Bob's attempt at rolling
>>1865244What? No, I don't do that... not on Wednesdays.O-or ever.>>1865248Bob why.
>>1865248Praise dice god and accelerate rolling
>>1865249>>1865248Damn it Girlyface. Investigate and pull out the brick, while Cordelia or Jon keeps Girlyface at bay.
>>1865250>>1865249>>1865251Ohs hit. Bob's accelerated rolling has dragged Jon along for the ride! Now they're rolling around the room like some sort of gay bowling ball!
>>1865256I am one with the dice, ACCELERATE!
>>1865256Git off me ya fag!Hit the breaks!
>>1865256...I'll make sure to look out for that. Pull out the brick that Jon was looking at earlier.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1865258>>1865259Roll 1d10 to see which wins>>1865260Roll 1d10 against the brick
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1865262
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1865262Begone, brick!
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1865262
>>1865263>>1865265>>1865266Bob crashes into Wilda and drags her along for the ride too
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1865270Welp time to try againStop the rolling
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>1865262I'mma help wilda clear bricks.
>>1865270Damn it. Can I roll to mace Girlyface to stop his Wild Ride?
>>1865270I dedicate this roll for you, dice god! I will roll with my very body and essence!
>>1865270Bob I swear...I'd threaten to turn you into a toad but your will is maxed.
>>1865273Ah yes. A secret compartment, wonder wha'ts inside.>>1865271Meanwhile, Bob roll against this>>1865274Sure why not
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>1865276Turning people into toads? From my non-heretical magician? It's more likely than you think.>>1865279Counter-rolling.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1865279If Jon's brakes work do a flip midair and land on your knees, breaking them, and praise dice god by shouting out a random number
>>1865279Let's get into this.If there's a maid dress in there I want it.
>>1865281>>1865279>>1865283Looks like the end of the ride, bob.Let's open up this brick-walled goodie box... or empty space.
>>1865285Maids are a myth>>1865281>>1865283Jon stops Bob's roll, causing him to barrel through the air! Bob attempts to do a flip but then Wilda smacks him in the face, launching him backwards into the ground
>>1865288That's the power of TEAMWORK!Anyway, check with Cordelia to see what's behind the brick.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>1865288Gurgle blood and yell out number from die roll
>>1865288Wilda get your shit so we can get outta here
>>1865288I cry, OP. Vampires get positron rifles and maids don't exist.I'll settle for a fancy dress tho.
>>1865291>>1865293>>1865294DARE YOU REACH INSIDE THE MYSTERIOUS HOLE?>>1865292Sadly due to your injuries, your yelling of the number is ruined by the blood you're coughing up
>>1865297Might as well.
>>1865297Either molested by vampires or belittled and beaten up by hunters. Man, I can never catch a break can I
>>1865300>>1865298Oh great, sticking both your arms in at the same time made them stuck
>>1865301One inch punch the wall
>>1865302Pour blood on their hands to use as a lubricant and unstuck them
>>1865301If you acted with sanity, perhaps this wouldn't happen, girlyface?>>1865302glad I didn't reach in...Let's heal bloodface here. Ah... wait, is your tendency to bleed your trap against vampires?
>>1865302I have the smaller hand, I think I can get it in. Just don't grab my hand, as that'll be lewd as fuck.>>1865304Be careful Jon!
>>1865308Pour hands on their lubricant to use as a unstuck and hand them
>>1865307 >>1865308Slip hand out leave wilda to grab what ever is inside. >>1865307I do believe that the reverse vampirism has effected his sanity some what.
>>1865308Now pull their hands out>>1865307It was a religious ritual, heretic
>>1865313Oi, Cordelia isn't a heretic, like what her class title says, she's a non-heretic magic user!
>>1865313Excuse me, my name expressly says non-heretic, and I appeared with legitimate paperwork.>>1865311that and blood loss.
>>1865316What has science done.
>>1865314>>1865315Sounds like the words of heretics to me
>>1865316I gotta hand it to ya that is some damn fine science right there, damn fine
>>1865310>>1865316Wait, who the hell did that? I thought the rest of us were asleep.>>1865318Look, I don't like it when a stupid machine says I am a crime against humanity, a monster that must be purged, and not cute in any way. I'll not let you do the same to the not-a-witch.
>>1865316Stop it Let go of what ever is inside and pull Jon's hand free
>>1865320It was z1Uv/7v2 !
>>1865320Spooky, ain't it
>>1865318>ex-vampire>botches infiltration>causes mishaps preventing party from moving forward.I dunno, Bob...>>1865322I'll give you a boost. healing bloodloss mcinsult isn't high on priorities now.
>>1865320As long as you recognize the one true dice god and my faith for him, I won't call you heretics
>>1865323Ask broseph to make bob stop
>>1865323>>1865324Oh shit. Cannonball that guy, quickly!
>>1865326I dunno, that sounds kinda.... heretical.
>>1865329Or maybe hysterical. ..
>>1865327"Stop what? The bleeding?"
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>1865331Yeah poke his eye holes or something thanksAnd let me free my hand op!
>>1865331This pain is only one of my tests of my faith
>>1865333Yeah, he'd definitely lost it.>>1865331wrap a bandage around his head or something.
>>1865333>>1865334Broseph wraps up Bob>>1865332And Jon fails to remove his hand
>>1865336Tug Jon's hand out of the hole, and put mine in it deeper. I need to get my gear back and stop these delays.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1865336I try to pull Jon's hand free.
>>1865336Thanks Broseph, you really are the kindest hunter.Lay down on your usual spot and smoke a joint
>>1865338Thank you, cute notwitch girl who is probably being controlled by a man.
>>1865338>>1865337>>1865339And so, a key was found
>>1865342I need a stronger hit to deal with this shitDrink a potion of pure weed
>>1865342Right, does anyone know what we can use the key on?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1865340I try.>>1865342The plot thickens... now we need to find where the key goes. Let's look.
>>1865344>>1865345>>1865346Oh hey, there's a chest right in the middle of the room. Wonder why nobody noticed it before.
>>1865348Go open it wilda
>>1865348Nice, use the key on the chest, then.
>>1865348Try to contact master Mark's spirit in my drugtrip
>>1865348well then.I'll get to reading this soul taking magic book while that's handled...
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1865351The chest opens. >>1865353Roll 1d10 to attempt to learn the contents within>>1865352Attempting connection
>>1865355Master Mark, please hear my voice.. I've fucked up badly and need your guidance
Rolled 7 (1d10)Oho, what's within?>>1865355Good old reading time.
>>1865357Wrong number, faggot
>>1865355Let see what's inside...
>>1865360you gonna kick him in the face too?
>>1865360Gar didn't even smoke weed, how the hell would you appear on weed fumes
>>1865363Wait, you're contacting CHAD?!
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1865361oooooh>>1865358Yes. secrets are beginning to unfold before Cordelia, forbidden techniques to capture the spirit.Roll 1d10 once more to learn the first spell>>1865363For his fuckup and desperate attempt to be relevant again, Gar got kicked in the face by his own foot
>>1865365Wut, why would I do that?>>1865366Dial master Mark's spirit number this time
>>1865362you think too highly of OP>>1865366>For his fuckup and desperate attempt to be relevant again, Gar got kicked in the face by his own footyay
>>1865366Is it my stuff, or what?
>>1865368"BOB! I MUST REVEAL TO YOU A TERRIBLE SECRET BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1865366Damn that's a hard hurdle.>>1865369you still showed up, though.
>>1865371Huh, what? Is it the one where Walter is a woman and has been secretly raping you, master?
>>1865373"No. I was actually Chad the whooooooooooooooooooooooole time"
>>1865372looks like I'm gonna have to keep reading...
>>1865375Indeed. You may try again by rolling again
>>1865374How does it feel to be raped by a vampire, Chad?
>>1865372>you still showed up, though.that's why I said "yay"didn't have time to make the bribe, I'm destined to not be included in thread
>>1865374Oh hey Chad. Could you put master Mark on the line?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1865374WHAT>>1865376more reading.
>>1865379"Nah I can't. Mark's not available right now"
>>1865382Is he being reincarnated for the third time or something?
>>1865382Aw shit. What's the problem dude?
>>1865380>10CORDELIA LEARNED: SOULTAKER'S GRASP- Normally does 7 damage- But if it kills the target, roll a second dice of d10. - If the second dice is 6 or higher, Cordelia captures the soul of the enemy and stores it inside her staff for later use- Only works on non-boss enemies
>>1865386Neat ... can we go now?
>>1865386>>1865387After I get my stuff from the chest, Jon.
>>1865388Then git yo stuff yo!
>>1865386NICE.I'm gonna keep reading this book, see if I can get more from it.
>>1865388Inside the chest is....another chest. But this chest is locked, with no keyholes. Next to is is a not-locked box of the popular game "Labyrinths and Wyverns">>1865391At your current level, no.
>>1865392So what's up with master Mark, chad?
>>1865392what if I draw rubber chicken?
>>1865392Well, see if I can brute force the former chest to get it open. I have 20 Power, so I think I'm stronk enough.
>>1865396nah thendo you work with separate payments?
>>1865392Welp, onto beginner blood magic it is!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1865395Roll 1d10Wilda has +20 PowerChest has +40 Magical Lock>>1865393"Man I dunno, Girlyface, he aint here">>1865397Define "seperate payments"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1865399Gaaaaaah!
>>1865399Aw shit. Thanks for the info, Chad. Smoke a fat one on me.Put a joint in Chad's spirits mouth
>>1865399>Define "seperate payments"well something among lines like just sketch first - for this bread, then refined sketch later for next bread, then color and stuff for another bread.
>>1865402Roll for it.Odds or Evens?
>>1865399Well, I mean we can take it with us and break it later.
>>1865404True, we need to stop Brobat's breakout of Girlyface's cousin or whatever anyway.
>>1865400Well that didn't work>>1865401puff>>1865406Roll 1d10Odds - Seperate Payments acceptedEvens- Seperate Payments not accepted