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/r9k/ - ROBOT9001


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Hi everyone its fortune time with osaka as your host
/r9k/ edition

The rules
>fortunes can range from decent to shit
>fortunes might take some time to make
>discussion is accepted
>one fortune per anon
>I have the right to refuse service
>any bad fortune will happen to you
>reminder that my fortunes come with risks like thoughts of suicide, limb loss, becoming homeless, retardation, and death
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>>40363460
osaka please give me my fortune
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>>40363475
Ok anonu
>your fortune says to shave and get a hair cut to avoid being called dirty
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>>40363460
Oh great and wise one, will please answer me one question?
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>>40363522
Sure what do you want advice for?
>your fortune says to leave no witnesses for they will tell
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>>40363460
Hi Osaka! I'd love a fortune!
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>>40363460
I'm ready to know my future
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>>40363460
I'm ready for fortune
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>>40363460
I would like one half of a fortune anon
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>>40363460
Finally I'm here in time to be one of the early ones!
So, OP. What's my fortune like? I'm curious!
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Hello Osaka. Will this be the year my life finally ends?
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Osaka, what is my fortune? Thank you and good day.
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>>40363559
Fuck forgot pic
>>40363560
Hi anonu *smiles*
>your fortune says you will see a wild rabbit run across the road
>>40363573
Are you ready?
>your fortune says to stop throwing beer bottles at cats
>>40363590
You are ready
>your fortune says to buy your tickets now
>>40363600
>your fortune says you will cut yourself with a boxcutter
>>40363637
Its great that you got here in time so tell me how you been?
>your fortune says to not take the bus tommorow
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>>40363460
could you spare a fortune for the less fortunate such as myself?
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>>40363740
Thank god. I never take the bus anyway.

I've been really good lately, you know. Finally sunk into a schedule with my job and I'm taking it in stride! It was scary at first but now I'm pretty comfy. Bought a Nintendo Switch with my last paycheck and playing some games while I post right now. Things okay on your end?
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>>40363740
Thanks for the fortune!

Also hallo :^) how are you?
>>
Lets get it. I need good news but I feel how it'll be.
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>>40363460
Sweet! I love these kinds of threads.
What's my fortune?
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>>40363740
>your fortune says you will cut yourself with a boxcutter
See but I only asked for half of a fortune, so for all I know, this fortune ends with ...made of thin air. How does it feel to be a cuckold?
>>
Fortunate please, great wise one
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>>40363460
Oi Osaka nice to see you back here again lets see my fortune! I've been feeling unfortunate lately and tomorrow's the Thirteenth, spooky.
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>>40363460
Rolling for destiny, let fortuna spin
>>
Gimme fortune

also im a blackbot, no bulle
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>>40363460
I am ready anon please give me my fate
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>>40363655
Unless your able to piss off people well then expect it to end fast but then again why die I mean I know life sucks but I know words don't mean anything so ill stay quite for now
>your fortune says your death will be a painful one
>>40363747
Same to you as well
>your fortune says to spam guro to the ones you hate the most
>>40363686
Sure why do you view yourself as less fortunate btw?
>your fortune says to improve your view on life and focus on the good side of life to become a happier person
>>40363812
Oh nice what game are you currently playing right now and yeah im fine haven't had paranoid thoughts this week sp yay me
>>40363838
Im fine just relaxing for now you?>>40363853
Have one then
>your fortune says to become a fortune teller and see into others futures
>>40363877
Nice image looks retro to me
>your fortune says to listen to 80's synthwave
>>40363891
I like being sub so feels good man
>>40363893
>your fortune says to ignore the asshole tommorow for he will try to fill you with rage
>>40363896
I forgot about that thanks for reminding me also I love spooky
>your fortune says to follow the basic superstition rules to avoid being a faggot
>>40363909
>your fortune says to take a vow of silence for 15 hours to have something to talk about
>>40363953
I won't you seem cool
>your fortune says to look out for the people that only talk to you for your color
>>40363909
Rolls
>your fortune says to become a pedo and fap to loils only
>>40363954
>your fortune says to walk the path full of broken glass to find the treasure and the end
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>>40364176
Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I already love it and I'm only a few hours in. Just getting to run around a huge, beautiful world like Hyrule... nothing could be comfier.

Do you usually have paranoid thoughts?
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>>40364215
That's nice have you played the other ones as well also I do most of the time but this week have been calm and I didn't want to hurt myself sorry for saying alot about me
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>>40364176
I feel less fortunate as of late cause my only friends have live to have so I just chill at home. I enjoy lone time but I still need to socialize.
Also I don't plan on having nightmares, pissing off any occult related entity, entering a abandoned and or condemned campground, or any place really that has had someone die near by so I think I'm good on the superstition side. And I'm not into traps so I think I'm good on the fag front.
>>
>>40364176
But I don't want to tell fortunes. It seems like a boring task.
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>>40364176
i'm this anon>>40363747 and i'm assuming you mixed up my fortune with that other guy who asked right before me and tagged him instead but thanks for the fortune my dude
i don't really feel less fortunate, in fact i feel a lot more fortunate than a lot of people and try to be grateful for that, but i just tried to come up with something to be original. sorry for deceiving you into thinking i'm some poor beggar or something
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>>40364279
I've played all the mainstream Zelda games, beaten nearly all of them.

It's no problem, I don't mind you talking about yourself. I'm glad you've been well this week!
I used to have thoughts about harming myself. The worst I'd ever do was take a pencil eraser and drag it across my arm really hard. It never left marks and it hurt less than most things I could've done. They kinda just... left one day.
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The future is scary but i may as well find out what it has in store. Forture please Miss Osaka!
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>>40364176
Thank you for my fortune Osaka!
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>>40364304
Why don't you you like go out more sorry for sounding mean also that is good you'll be safe
>>40364323
You can only do bad fortunes so that might make it a bit more enjoyable
>>40364324
Its fine I don't hold grudges also its nice that you have that mindset I don't think I could do it well
>>40364341
I usally stab myself with a pen and rub my arm around something rough I don't want to draw blood but still I want it to hurt for me also that good that your problem gone away
>>40364383
Sure ero guy on couch
>your fortune says to do squats inside a store to avoid getting fat and sick
>>40364458
No problem glad you liked it
>>
Osaka I am requesting one fortune, please.

Please let the end be nigh.
>>
>>40364647
Why do all of you get to die and not me?
>your fortune says to at least die with some dignity left
Sorry sorry im giving a morally bad fortune
>>
May I have a fortune please
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>>40363460
Give me my fortune
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I seem to lack a lot of fortune, but lets see my fortune.
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Perhaps I'll eventually get around to watching that.

Also, fortune please, Osaka!
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>>40364790
Sure
>your fortune says you will get eaten by zombies in Halloween
>>40364803
Sure
>your fortune says to have no remorse once the deed is done
>>40364819
Here's my gift to you then
>your fortune says to stop a guy called Walter everat for he is the source of bad fortunes
>>40364825
Watching what?
>your fortune says learn how to lift weights and become fit
>>
A very original bump made by me
>>
I'm already retarded and I want to die. Which limb will I lose? or is something else going to happen?
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>>40365800
What illness do you have also it could be worse
>your fortune says you will lose two fingers
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osaka please help
I really need some 4chanz
my heart forever
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>>40363460
Give me my fortune and a gf.
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>>40366346
Ok here your 4tunes
>your fortune says to fix your broken heart with some super glue
>>40366387
Have a wafiu instead im no good with love sorry
>your fortune says to be more honest and confident to get free hugs
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>>40366520
>be more honest and confident
Too hard. Thanks anyway.
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>>40363460
Tell me my fortune please. Make it extra depressing.
>>
>>40363460
Hey Osaka you cutie! Long time no see! Care to give me a fortune?
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>>40363460
My fortune please, and may the auspices be good.
>>
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>>40366601
Your welcome also sorry I couldn't do it better
>>40366646
Ok I will do that
>your fortune says you will blow out your 24 birthday candle alone and in the dark
>>40366755
Sure thing also thanks for calling me cute
>your fortune says you will get a hug from someone special
>>40366782
They will
>your fortune says you will flip off the news on live and shout notice me osaka san
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>>40366858
Thanks for the fortune. Wonder why I'll be blowing them out in the dark. Maybe the world will have ended and I'll be alone in a ruined city or something.
>>
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>>40366931
Its ambiguous also I'm going to drink some wine so I may not make sense
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>>40363460
i would like to know my fortune, osaka
>>
Fortune plz osaka

Orignialie
>>
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>>40367182
>your fortune says that all of your personal belongings will go to the public after get a life sentence
>>40367197
Ok anonu *pets you*
>your says to never wash that virtual head again
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>>40363460
My wiafu, I am ready for my fortune.
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>>40363460
i've been having dreams of getting sacrificed and becoming the the twin of some kind of young goddess with silver hair and red eyes is this some kind of future that awaits me?
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>>40367603
Kirasawa get out
>your fortune says you so not act out on your desires
>>40367609
Hmm that's weird but o think that symbolises becoming something more powerful in life or silmair to that
>your fortune says to not get so cocky about that ok
Sorry im a bit buzzed and feel emotional sorry
>>
>>40367731
>dont get too cocky
I'll make sure that to not get cocky
>>
Sorry but I don't feel like being here anymore for today so ill go bye everyone also here's my discord channel if you want to join
gg/scPyev
>>
>>40363460
pls Osaka-sama tell me my future



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