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/r9k/ - ROBOT9001


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Okay so this is going to be a pretty memeworthy post but I'm honestly going through a dilema here and I'm literally not sure what to do - /r9k/ seems to be the only place I can post this question and actually get answers even though I expect like 90% of them to be shitposts:
>Be me, 19 year old ex-neet
>Redpilled and understand why gender dynamics are the way they are
>Regardless still have urges to be feminine, I don't mean to totally transition but just to make efforts to become a femboy
>Genetically wide hips and narrow shoulders which lend themselves to femboyery but I'm sure I could put effort into making my body look more masculine
>Legitimately strong homosexual urges to get fucked, find penises just as or sometimes more attractive than vaginas. Regularly masturbate anally and try to avoid masturbating using my penis
So I'm not sure whether to accept my faggotry or to try to overcome it. I've tried in the past to overcome it and just be masculine regardless but I always end up relapsing. Why the fuck do I feel this way about myself? I know that this is literally mental illness and that people will just say to ignore it but I've tried doing that in the past and this is something that is firmly hooked in my psyche. What is wrong with me /r9k/, and does anybody else feel the same way? If I were to make the choice to accept my femboyish nature then I'd probably only do it until I get older and become to masculine so maybe it's just something I need to get out of my system when I'm young? Or perhaps pursuiting that path would just fuck me up and I'd end up a mental case. Can anybody help me please because I have no fucking clue what is going on in my head.
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>>42469054
Just be my gf (male)
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>>42469054
bump for interest i need answers to this shit
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>>42469054
Right, can you go into more detail about the desire to be more feminine? How do you feel about your body? Do you like your masculine features? How long did it take before you relapsed and how often did it happen?
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>>42469054
Anon before I can help can you write what kind of pornography have you been subjecting yourself?
From when you started to today, tell me everything
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>>42469054
you're gay, just accept that shit and live your life man
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>>42469054
It's easy: 1. Accept the way you look as a male, masculine

2.Enter into ketosis to reduce sex hormones/libido

3.Start going to gym

4.Stop masturbating

5.Find a hobby to keep your mind occupied

GZ op! You're no longer a faggot
>>
>>42469054
Be gay. Not many people care at this point and if they do call them a bigot. Problem solved.
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>>42469054
google foods that give high testosterone
stop jerking off
stop being a faggot
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>>42469054

Dude, chill. You're young.

Here is what you should do. Shave all your body hair, get one of them penis chastities and have fun with locking your dick from time to time. Also get dildos and fuck yourself. Order lingerie and maid outfits. Pose and send pictures to degenerate fags who are into this sort of thing on soc. Then just do that. Maybe even meet up and fuck at some hotel with a guy. Who knows.

Do it now. Don't be a fucking wierdo 30+ guy with this fetish. That is a sad sight. You have to do it now.
>>
You don't have to do anything.
What you feel is a struggle between two different, dare I say it?, spooks.
You give yourself the 'gay' identity and the 'redpill' identity and because there is a discrepancy between those, you feel conflicted.
Try to remember that you are nothing and that buying into 'faggotry' nor 'r/TheRedPill' is in your interest.
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>>42469372
>can you go into more detail about the desire to be more feminine?
I'm not exactly sure how to explain this but I have strong urges to be more feminine in both a sexual and a mental way. I have made efforts in to feminise my mind in the past by making myself a more sensitive, emotional, and intuitive person but I don't want to actually be female.
>How do you feel about your body?
I am strongly embarrassed and ashamed of it. I feel self conscious of it pretty much constantly.
>Do you like your masculine features?
I'm not sure what features you mean. Do you mean like genitalia? I don't have very strong masculine muscles or facial features so I don't really think anything of them.
>How long did it take before you relapsed and how often did it happen?
Last time I felt this strongly about it was about 3 months ago. I hid it in the back of my mind since then but I was going through some other mental issues at the time (paranoia, anxiety, depression, etc)
>>42469386
Lots of different kinds. Men, women, traps. I mostly prefer solo stuff, I'm not a fan of gangbangs or extreme BDSM stuff or anything like that
>>42469407
>>42469471
I'm also attracted to women so I'm bi at most.
>>42469447
>>42469472
>stop being a faggot
>1. Accept the way you look as a male, masculine
This is the difficult part. I literally don't know how to.
>>42469519
This has been my thoughts more or less. I'm thinking of doing it now and getting it out of my system before I get older. I know that in the past androgeny was pretty common and it was considered something that young men grew out of and that different societies (greeks, romans etc) had more nuanced views on these things.
>>42469549
I'm not so much talking about /r/theredpill as I am about /pol/. What I mean to say is that I understand the logical reasons for gender roles and the psychosocial reasoning for my feeling this way but regardless it's just something I can't shake. I do get your message though
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>>42469054
Jesus Christ
There is a literal board just for discussing this, >>>/lgbt/
Not even shitposting, it's stuff like this that board is made for
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>>42469652
I feel like >>>/lgbt/ would probably biased towards telling me that I'm transgender and that I should transition now before I'm old and ugly. /r9k/ probably has more nuance and there is obviously a certain number of people who browse this board who feel the same way I do.
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>>42469637
Why are you ashamed of your body? Because it's feminine? Do you like that about it, or would you rather be a big burly guy when you look in the mirror? What if your facial features were to change, and you grew a full beard, square jaw, etc, how would that make you feel? Relieved? What happened last time? What set it off and what did you do to make it go away? Was it more distressing when it came back again?
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>>42469652
This tbhon
Im bisexual and fine with gay threads but lgbt would be wayyyyyy better at helping you
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>>42469701
They don't
I went to them with something similar and they told me not to even consider transitioning
WE will tell you to put in a dress and get dicks up your ass
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>>42469054
>I know that this is literally mental illness
a mental illness is something that causes you significant distress or impairs your quality of life. not what /pol/ wants it to mean, which is everything they don't like. figure yourself out, try to see what makes you happy and then do it. life is way too fucking long and pointless to force yourself through in a way that you don't like.
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>>42469372
T. Im jerking off to this
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>>42469701
>r9k/ probably has more nuance on sexuality and gender identity
Oh no.... sweetie... prepare for most of the replys to be "no fap/porn" "just lift" but i have a feeling you kinda just want those kinda replies so meh
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>>42469772
That's pretty perverse. Stop fetishising the poor confused Anon.
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>>42469054
Do you want to be a girl because you are insecure about your masculinity or are you insecure about your masculinity because you want to be a girl?
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>>42469054
Litteraly just do what you want, why must retards complicate everything.
Would becoming a femboy ruin ur life?
Is becoming a femboy reversible?
No? Than just do it untill you dont wanna anymore.
Seriously your acting like your choosing on whether or not to take hormones and chop your dick off.
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>>42469054


>>42469355
You're gay. All this "femboyness", becoming a girl (male) and all this other bullshit isn't helping you, you're just gay it's that simple. Cutting your dick off won't make you a happy gay man. It's great that you believe in hender roles and the reason for them but you being a fag isn't going to halt the population explosion
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>>42469054
Just accept it, you slutty femboy cocksucker. And gimme your discord while you're at it.
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>>42469712
>Why are you ashamed of your body? Because it's feminine? Do you like that about it, or would you rather be a big burly guy when you look in the mirror?
I'm ashamed of my body because it's not how I'd want it to be. I certainly wouldn't rather be a burly guy, I'd much rather be femme but...
>What if your facial features were to change, and you grew a full beard, square jaw, etc, how would that make you feel? Relieved?
...I could possibly deal with it but I'd be severely disappointed that I didn't get to be femme when I was younger. It might make things worse but I'm not sure. I guess I feel too androgenous right now since I'm not overly masculine or overly feminine but I would much rather feminise my body rather than masculinise it.
>What happened last time? What set it off and what did you do to make it go away? Was it more distressing when it came back again?
I can't remember what set it off, I don't really think something in particular does set it off, it's just something that comes back to me again and again. I was comforted when it came back and I enjoyed it. It feels like it overpowered the mental resistance I put in place to block it.
>>42469772
>T. Im jerking off to this
>>42469797
Yep, I still think that >>42469712 is helping me out but >>42469772 made me reconsider for a second. Obviously this sort of thing is sexual but I am actually trying to figure something out about myslf.
>>42469765
>a mental illness is something that causes you significant dstress or impairs your quality of life
This IS causing me significant distress though. I don't know what to do or what I should be. Thinking about it too hard can cause me to get quite panicky.
>>42469860
No clue
>>42469881
Wht I do will affect who I become though. I want to make the right choices now so that I don't have any major regrets when I'm 30 or 40 or whatever. I'm a pretty sensitive person, if I think that I fucked up like this in the past then it'll hurt me when I'm get older psychologicaly.
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>>42470128
What about when you get older? You can't be fem forever, you're young so it comes pretty naturally, but all femboys come out of it around ~25 because of natural hormones. How would you feel then? Even if you got a few years of being a femboy, but then had to put it away and become something else? Would you be able to do that an genuinely say you were happy with the end result? What if you could stay a femboy for a lot longer, but there were certain risks involved like maybe some gyno, would you do that?
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>>42470128
You cant change your nature, anon. If you were born to ride cock, then holding it back will make you more miserable than any amount of HIV ever could. You only have the present to lose, and it seems like presently, you have an intense need for dick in and around your body on the nightly. Live it while you know you can.
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>>42469355
Cute image. I like it and I like you.
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>>42469933
I like girls too though although in a different way. Depending on how I feel at the time I can find either men or women more or less attractive than one another.
>>42469966
Sorry anon but this thread isn't about me getting off I'm seriously trying to sort something out here.
>>42470237
>>42470298
I think the conclusion that this thread has helped me come to is that I should indulge this while I'm young and I still can so that when I'm older I don't have any regrets. I do accept that when I'm older I won't be able to do this any more and I think that it'll be easier to accept that fact if I've lived this out while I still can. I think I will try to be more feminine and live out these fantasies now while I still can.

Thanks anons! <3
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>>42470128
If you're just going to be a femboi there is literally no consequence to your health
I shave every so often and wear girls clothes, and literally nothing negative has happened to me.
If anything you're just bisexual or agp and you're letting /pol/ memes be your crutch to repress your insecurities. Nothing is going to happen to the monolith that is gender roles because a kid on an anonymous Azerbaijan yurt carving forum wore a dress
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>>42470375
Hit me up cutie, I can help you figure out if you like this new lifestyle or not
>>
Def post this on LGBT cuz I am in kinda similar situation. Was a lonely incel until found this board which conditioned me into loving traps and wanting to be one. Would regularly larp like a horny trap and anally masturbate (although never liked it by itself and used it to supplement regular jerking). Thought about trying to become trap but instead fought it, got fit, and started having sex with women. It took years to get laid and tons of effort. Redoing tinder, OKcupid, bumble, nofap, lifting, going to clubs and bars to hit on girls, tons of rejection, dressing nice, learning the game, and finally after 2 years I managed to get some dates and even get laid. But I am still browsing here and still jerking it to traps and larping with losers. But then I have had dudes hit on me back when I was clubbing and was really repulsed with actual 3D guys trying to hit on me. I cannot even imagine trying to transition into a femboy, like now the idea is not appealing. But then I entered a different kind of /fit/ style faggotry where I mire swole dudes for their gains and look up and down guys who are effay. I am still kinda afraid of women and the effort to keep them is tiresome. But, I know I love being with women and they give a feeling of euphoria you cannot match. Realizing all the r9k memes are wrong and having a real, life, 3d girl kissing and worshipping your cock is a kind of feeling that is indescribable. I want it now, all the time. But then if I am finally Chad why am I here clicking on lewds of Totsuka? I said I did not like gay dudes hitting on me but maybe I haven't found the right gay dudes? Maybe I am older so being a trap does not appeal to me cuz of hormones. But just to let you know trying to super fight it and become fit and even having sex will not make all the gay go away. Although it will break some of it, and you probably will start liking women a lot more if your path is the same as mine.
>>
You know, just because look femine, and like anal masturbation, it doesn't mean you must be a homo, and get fucked with males.
Just do what you feel like, if you enjoy looking more femine, then don't feel bad about it. It was ok back in greek/roman times, in XIX (pic rel) century and today, so there is nothing wrong with that.
There are females, who like a guy who looks like that, and there are females who will agree to peg your ass. Actually I envy, if what you are saying is true. I want to look like that, but I'm fucking hairy and fat. And even I starved myself, and start shaving, I still have wider shoulders.

Also why the fuck you are not jerking off? Why not use both your pole and hole at the same time?
God I want tohave a qt relationshipswith saika
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>>42469054
Go for it dude. Don't be afraid of your sexuality. Try it, love it or hate it. Telling yourself you're hetero won't make you happy.
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>>42470384
>you're letting /pol/ memes be your crutch to repress your insecurities
This is actually probably quite likely, /pol/ has fuelled a lot of anxiety, paranoia, depression, and other issues in me. That board has caused me so many issues that - although I still believe most of the stuff on that board - I'm starting to doubt a lot of it. I don't know if I'm the sort of person that should have an interest in politics, I have a pretty obsessive personality. It might just be unhealthy for me.
>>42470423
Okay, what on? I don't have a discord or anything but I could make one unless you had something else in mind.
>>42470429
I hadn't considered that but I think I am going to follow the more femboyish path while I'm still can. I've got plenty of time to be masc after once I'm older so for now I'm just going to fulfill this while I still can so that I'm not disappointed when I'm older.
>>42470441
I like males too though, I like both. Oftentimes I feel like I prefer men to women - even aesthetically - although I definitely prefer male sexual energy.
>Also why the fuck you are not jerking off? Why not use both your pole and hole at the same time?
I prefer just using my ass because it lets me focus more. The feeling overall is very different and less pleasurable when your dick is involved so I just choose to ignore it and focus on my ass entierly.
>>42470554
Thanks!
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>>42470634
Discord is easy to make an account on, friendo. Then you and I will have some serious and professional discussions about your masturbation habits and my interest in them.
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>>42470687
I look forwards to it! trappyanon#9816
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>>42470634
The same happened to me with /pol/. Meet people in real life and pay attention to what's really going on, especially locally. That's the best way to form an opinion, experience the world for yourself.
Also be careful of adding these fags on discord. All they want is to jack off to pictures of your legs or some shit. You can get the same quality attention on /b/, /soc/ or here if mods don't catch you.
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>>42470375
>Thanks anons! <3
Fair enough, if that's what you're happy with then go for it. I'm naturally a femboy and still going strong despite being 23, it has been great and I don't regret anything about it. I started taking a bunch of pills a month back though to prolong it until my 30's and go even more fem, so your mileage may vary. I did go through many vary similar stages of confusion as you, but you'll get there in the end as long as you just do the things that make you happy.
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>>42470128
>No clue
Not him but this is the most important question imo. You'd do good thinking a bit more about it.
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>>42469054
why do you there's anything wrong with being gay? just enjoy what you enjoy and be done with it
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>>42470634
>I like males too though,
Ohwell,
Don't know what tips I can give to you then.
Just whatever you do, don't become cocklust deamon, who fuck everyone just because he can. This will just give you some disease. Try to find only one pure partner (either male or female) and stick with him/her.
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>>42470899
why do you think*
no idea how I forgot to type 'think'
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>>42470764
It's just that everything they say on /pol/ makes sense so it's really hard not to believe it. We live in an insane and chaotic world anon and I don't know if I'll ever be able to deal with that on the face of it.
>Also be careful of adding these fags on discord. All they want is to jack off to pictures of your legs or some shit. You can get the same quality attention on /b/, /soc/ or here if mods don't catch you.
I know the reputation but I hope that I'll be able to meet some decent guys on there. If people just send me a message like "send feet" then I won't respond but whatever.. hence the >>42470762
>>42470830
I'm glad that somebody had the same path as me then! It's pretty confusing but I hope that in 4 years time I'm as sure that I made the right decision as you are.
>>42470856
The problem is that I literally don't know but either way I do think that if I don't indulge this, even for a short while, and see what I think of it then. I need to know one way or another and trying it out for a while will let me know for sure.
>>42470899
>>42470925
I've said a few times in the thread that I'm not purely gay and that I do have attraction to women too.
>>42470920
>Just whatever you do, don't become cocklust deamon, who fuck everyone just because he can. This will just give you some disease.
I know, when I have sex I will definately use protection and I'll try to find a single decent partner (although they can be hard to find)
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>>42469637
Just give yourself permission to have your own opinions, your own thoughts, your own ideas, rather than letting /pol/ (or anyone else, but especially not fucking /pol/) think for you.
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>>42469054
Pull yourself together, stop browsing 4chan, start working out and find a meaning with your life that isn't about getting fucked anally.
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>>42469054
OP I am in an extremely similar place! I'll go through phases of wanting to be effeminate and fucked but they normally pass with time. I am too naturally twinky/femboy

Pretty sure I fell for the trap meme because it all started there and eventually lead to me posting pictures of myself on the internet to help dudes jerk off. sometimes ill watch gay porn but I can only do it if they're twinks/femboyish otherwise it still grosses me out.

In truth the one thing that actually stopped these urges was getting a gf and sex - I don't really think of any of that stuff anymore and I'm no longer self conscious.

Pretty sure you just consume too much porn and jack off too much. Though it could be interesting if you give in and succumb to those desires - See if it's actually for you.
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>>42471152
>got a gf and sex and now it's cured
please don't end up as one of those people who decides to transition at like 45 with a wife and kids
>>
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>>42469054
>gay/bi guy spends formative years on 4chan and becomes a self-loathing person who thinks hating himself for something he can't change is "redpilled"
>represses gay/bi urges and is surprised they only become stronger
>"What should I doooo!?"
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>>42470985
It only "makes sense" because all the information they give you is just through their lense, which is not inherently bad. If your main website was Reddit, you'd probably say the same thing about how they think, present ideas and frame situations. I don't mean /pol/ always is wrong, it's just hugboxxy
About discord, I'd just join a server or something so you can better gauge how the people you add behave
Here are some with traps that I've been to and aren't too bad
VAXA5B
ex5vvS
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>>42471331
I used to be a commie but moved to /pol/ after reading into it, it just made so much more sense to me. It still does but I'm going to try to lay off politics for a while, it can be a pretty destructive thing to get into sometimes. Thanks for the links though, I'll give them a try
>>42471324
We all made mistakes when we were kids my dude
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>>42471311
nah I've no desire to be a woman at all

I'm just bisexual and like to play a different role depending on whether I'm with a guy or a girl
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>>42470985
>It's just that everything they say on /pol/ makes sense so it's really hard not to believe it.
yeah because you're 19 and naive and gullible. You haven't got much life experience and you haven't had much of a chance to really develop critical thinking skills. for that reason late teens/early 20s seems to be the ideal age to get brainwashed into some kind of extremist ideology of some sort. It's happening to loads of young people on tumblr with extremist feminism/leftism. It's happening to you with extremist/fringe right crap from /pol/. and it happened to me with extremist religion.

In my case it took me the best part of 10 years to break free from the brainwashing I fell into beginning in my late teens. Wasted a lot of time. I wish someone had told me 'look, you're being brainwashed' but nobody who was close to me really bothered.

Anyway please just be aware that there's loads of people around thinking exactly the same stuff as you are now, like
>It's just that everything they say on [insert extremist group hangout] makes sense so it's really hard not to believe it.
exactly the same - just with '/pol/' swapped out for 'tumblr' or 'church' or 'mosque' whatever the fuck. Learn to think for yourself. and get some critical thinking skills.
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>>42469637
Put on that chastity, put on that lingerie, add me to Kik: Chastitian
>>
>>42471324
>>>42469054 (OP)
>>gay/bi guy spends formative years on 4chan and becomes a self-loathing person who thinks hating himself for something he can't change is "redpilled"
>>represses gay/bi urges and is surprised they only become stronger
>>"What should I doooo!?"
What



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