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"Champ, now that school's almost out, you should have no problem getting a job what with all those places looking for help. Oh, don't gimme that look, Champ. I know it's been a year of no call backs and such, but finding work really is as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you're not letting go until he tells you when you can start. Getting a job is easy! Showing up is half the battle, Champ! You've just gotta crawl outta that shell of yours and put on your game face, Champ."

"We'll drive around town today so you can try it out for yourself, and we're not turning back until someone hires you right on the spot. There are jobs available even for those with a poor work history like you. Why, when I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. The manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. I nearly froze to death out there in the driving snow, so you've got it pretty easy compared to me, Champ. Where there's a will, there's a way. And I didn't raise a quitter; I raised a Champ!"
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SHUT THE FUCK UP BOOMER I DROPPED OUT YOU STUPID NIGGER I HATE YOU GO FUCKING DIE I HATE YOU
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>>52442037
Print out several copies of your resume and get in the stationwagon, Champji.
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>>52442027
Bite the bullet and work fast food for a year then an actual restaurant that pays better and doesnt make you wear a retarded uniform. This advice only applies if youre under 25.
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Well, look who decided to finally crawl outta their cave. C'mon over 'ere, Champ! Tell us all about those jobs you've been applying to, and all those girls you've been chasing. See, Champ here is a ladies' man; I saw that one Lacey girl laughing with him at the mall. Remember that, Champ?

C'mon, Champ. Grab yourself some refreshments and have a sit-down with the rest of the family.

>swats your hand away from the alcohol and soda, with everyone looking on

But not those, Champ. I need you firm and focused on finding a job tomorrow. We're driving around town, and we're not turning back until someone hires you on the spot. It's as simple as walking up to the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and not letting go until he tells you when you can start! You wouldn't wanna disappoint everyone now, would ya?
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I'm fucking dying anon, please keep posting these.
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Quitters never win, and winners never quit, Champ! When I was your age, we were facing our cross-town rivals over at Allentown Prep. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: A huge fella by the name of Chet Anders. He was 6'5 and 260 pounds -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. By golly, it sounded like a mad house down there! And that was with the scouts from Alabama and Notre Dame in attendance, Champ. Last I heard, he leapt off a bridge after he couldn't even hack it in Hacwamanee Community College as a third-stringer.

The point is that you've gotta grab life by the horns. And the best way to do that is to walk into the store like you own the place, look the manager in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him that you're not letting go until he tells you when you can start. A firm handshake, Champ. Not that floppy fish your generation does. It's that simple.
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holy fuck reminds me of my dad drunk that used to talk about war and stuff, he talks alone in the kitchen since I sit with my headphones at the pc lmao
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>>52442027
Based. Miss this mess. Also fresco. They go hand in hand.

Currently in work now taking a shit and shitposting so it's not all bad
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>>52442171

I hope your wage slavery is as tolerable as it can possibly be, friend

t. neet
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"Of course we're still going to Chick-Fil-A, Champ. I know how much you love their Sweet Tea and Chick-n-Strips, but we've got several stops to make along the way, and this place is one of them. Oh, turn that frown upside down, Champ. By getting a job, you'll be able to do all those things you've always wanted to do -- and the best part is that you won't need to use your mother's credit card anymore. You'll practically be rolling in piles of dough! Besides, you've gotta start thinking about your future, Champ. One day, you're gonna leave the nest and have a family of your own. And there's no better way to get started than by getting a job. When I was your age, I rucked through the blizzard of '67 to get the down at the factory. Nearly lost my toes and fingers to frostbite that day, but the manager was so impressed when I barged through the door that he hired me right on the spot. It was tough sledding every now and then on the line, and 'Nam got in the way. But I worked my way up through the ranks then I raised you, bought the house, three cars, the boat, and our winter vacationer down in Lake Las Vegas. You've got all the opportunities in the world!"

"Now that all those kids are back in school, it should be easier for you to walk in and find work. Whaddya mean you're down in the dumps, Champ? Champ, back in my day, depression was just another way of saying that you needed a kick in the keyster to get you going. You've got nothing to be sad about, Champ. Especially when it comes to taking advantage of opportunities like working. Tell ya what: I'll drive you around town to look for a job, and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot. It's simply a matter of walking into the store to speak with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and refusing to let go until he tells you when you can start. Every journey begins with a single step, Champ!"
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>>52442196

This brings back so many bad memories.
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>>52442188
It's not bad. I'm not busy at the moment so basically browsing the internet and drinking tea and coffee. My jobs my own work so I get times when I have nothing to do rather than working off queues in a team.

So it's comfy right now. Might get another coffee.
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"When are ya gonna give your mother and me some grandchildren, Champ? Having kids is important because it gives you direction, a sense of achievement, and someone who'll take care of you when you get old. Why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was laughing with you. The sky's limit when you sweep them off their feet with your winning smile. C'mon, Champ: A handsome guy like you ought to have no problem finding the right girl. And introducing yourself to one is as simple as walking up to her, smiling, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she accepts your invitation to dinner."

"Heh. Girls will practically be chasing you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ. Hell, a good-looking fella like you'll practically have to fend them off with a broom."
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>>52442196
>Especially when it comes to taking advantage of opportunities like working


AHHHHHHHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP
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>>52442386
Champ, we'll stop when and only when you have a job -- and we're not turning around until you get one right on the spot. But it's never too late to turn things around, Champ. When I was your age, we were down by three to Allentown Prep with five minutes to go in the fourth quarter. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: A huge fella by the name of Chet Anders. He was 6'5 and 260 pounds -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. And that was with the scouts from USC and Notre Dame in attendance! Last I heard, he leapt off a bridge after he couldn't even hack it in Hacwamanee Community College as a third-stringer.

Anyhoo, we came back and won the game. And guess who caught the game-winning throw? Yep, none other than your old man. Point is that getting a job is as simple as standing up tall, looking the manager in the eye, giving him a firm handshake, and refusing to let go until he tells you when you can start!
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>>52442418
>You're aware that mom is having an affair with Chadson, right dad?
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>>52442470
What if I am Chadson?
nigger
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>>52442196
>you've gotta start thinking about your future, Champ
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME I WAS LIVING MY LIFE POOR BUT HAPPY, SHIT WAS GOING WELL

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SAN ANTONIO DAD FUCK OFF
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>Places looking for help
Where I live, it's normal for a hotdog or kebab stand to get 200+ applicants within 24 hours. Shit's fucked. Even my parents and family have reached the point of accepting that shit is fucked. Their delusions were shattered when basically all of their friends were having issues with helping their children find meaningful employment that wasn't a scam.
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>>52442606
you mean Niger?
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I'll take
>firm handshake, champ
Boomer advice threads over tranny shit any day
Keep the advices coming, dad
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Best way to be office wagecuck is to sniff the chairs of the really hot female ass when they leave.

Hehe
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>>52442869
Wtf where do you live? I find that difficult to believe
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>>52442027
It's pretty true though. Literally all places need people to work during the summer.
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>>52442869
Danke Merkel

Deutschland ist fertig
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>>52442825

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, Champ! When I was your age, we were facing our cross-town rivals over at Allentown Prep. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: A huge fella by the name of Chet Anders. He was 6'5 and 260 pounds -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. And that was with the scouts from Alabama and Notre Dame in attendance. Last I heard, he leapt off a bridge after he couldn't even hack it in Hacwamanee Community College as a third-stringer.

The point is that you've gotta grab life by the horns. And the best way to do that is to walk into the store like you own the place, look the manager in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him that you're not letting go until he tells you when you can start. A firm handshake, Champ. Not that floppy fish your generation can barely muster. Getting a job is that simple, Champ!
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>>52442869
Did you shake the kebab bosses hand?
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*ssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippp* agghhhhhhhh
Ya i forwarded that memo to Linda, she says she already got it. Heh, can you believe that bitch. Jim says 2 more years and ill be eligible for a walled cubicle too, so fuck her and fuck hr
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>>52443109
>find that difficult to believe
He isnt American where you guys pay people 12 bucks an hours to move around and pretend to work.
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>>52442027
This is how I got hired 7 years ago.
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Howdy-ho, Champ! How's that vacation of yours coming along? Hey, did you hear about your old friend Chud or Charlie or Thad or whatever his name is? He's now the Emergency Services Manager down at the city, and he's making bank. Oh, yeah. He's drivin' around in a brand spanking new Acura MDX, and he moved into that three story house down the street. He even got hitched to that one girl you were always harping on about, the one with the funny name -- Oksananitis, I think it was. They've even got a little girl on the way! How about that, Champ? Oh, don't be so down on yourself. Girls will practically be chasing you once you get your first paycheck.

Grab yourself some dinner and let's catch up with the rest of the family. But don't get too carried away, Champ. I need you focused. FOCUSED like a laser beam on finding a job tomorrow by looking the manager in the eye and giving him a firm handshake. Whatdy'a mean this is embarrassing? Champ, you can buy whatever you want when you get that first paycheck.

Oh, and I invited Thad and Juannaytis over for dinner. Maybe you can talk to him about getting you a job down at the Rec Center or something. Don't pout, Champ. Aren't you excited to see them after all these years?
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>>52444373
No, "champ".
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"Getting a job is easy as pie, Champ. All it takes is a little persistence, some gumption, and a firm handshake. But first, you need a fresh haircut to look presentable for when you interview. Just a little bit off the sides, and presto! You're ready for a night on the town. Whaddya mean 'you're balding, Champ?' You're not balding, Champ! You just need to STYLE IT. You don't wanna shave it, Champ. You'll look like a hoodlum, and no one would wanna hire you. Besides: Girls love it when you sweep your hair over the side like that. It's the bee's knees, Champ!"

"'Reeeee'? Champ, I know you're really excited - heard you psyching yourself up all last night - but can you save your battle cry for when we get home?"
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"Champ: Great job applying to all those places today. I know it was a little nerve-wracking, so let's cap things off with a trip to Chick-Fil-A, your favorite. Whaddya say I get us two Grilled Chicken Sandwich meals with two Sweet Teas and eight pieces of Chick-Fil-A sauce? No tendies, Champ. Fried food is a one way ticket to an early grave on the high cholesterol express. I know it's the holiday season and everyone's gonna be using that as an excuse to chow down on everything, but that's no reason for you to lose your discipline. You need to be fit and focused on landing a job. Besides, fried food is bad for ya, Champ. Read it on the Internet. Hey, cashier, we're skipping the tendies today, but we'll have a salad to go. Good idea, right? *pokes your stomach* Ha, ha."

"BUT that's not the only reason why I brought you here, Champ. While we're ordering, you might as well ask the manager to see if they have any openings here. It'll give you an opportunity to practice what you've learned so far: Stand up straight, speak with him about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Whaddya mean 'why do I have Chick-N-Strips in my hand?' These are for the dog, Champ. You can buy all the Chick-N-Strips you want when you get that first paycheck."
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>>52442115
>cut block dive
Dad, you're a nigger.
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>>52446214
Champ, that's no way to talk about our fellow man. When I was your age, I served with folks with all walks of life -- white, brown, black, yellow. It didn't matter what they believed in or where they came from, but by golly, we shot our way out of la Drang through teamwork and superior firepower. Oh, we stacked those mischievous cretins in piles that were fifty feet high! But you need to learn how to respect others, Champ, because that green guy with the coffee cup is your new boss.
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>Don't talk to me until you've taken out the trash, swept the floors, and sold fifty membership rewards cards. And you better do it by the time I finish this coffee, boot.
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>>52442027
It's really easy to get a job. Nobody told me what to do though, and in fact I don't even know what to do for sure.
>get out of highschool, become an unironic neet
>get tired of nothing to do, sometimes just stare at the ceiling in bed wasting so much time
>looking for work as a cashier
>most places never call back
>almost running out of places in my town to even apply to
>finally get a grocery store, work there for 2 years going nowhere
>look for more cashier work, get tired of it
>get another cashier job, instead of being happy that "I got the job" I'm just sad
>say fuck this I'm going to school to learn how to weld
>too stupid and bad eyes, im fucked
>security company is offering a course + marine (first aid) training etc
>If you can afford the 500~ CAD you're set for life now
Doing that you have the ability to go make >20 dollars camp work, boat patrol, dealing with protestors etc.If you're a fat piece of shit like I was, then you can do the boring security stuff but get lots of overtime, or at least I did.

I used to worry about cover letters and stress over interviews etc, but now all I have to do is talk to them and they say welcome aboard. No stupid vague questions like a cashier, just "Here's your duties, are you sure you want to do this? Yes? Okay!" If you expand and get your AST even more things open up, like hospital work $30/hr, loss prevention etc.

You might not like this route, but if all you want is (easy) work and money, here it is. I am literally guaranteed a job for life.
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>>52442027
I want to laugh but fuck me if this isn't literally my parents so instead I will vent. they're retired in their 60s and I just turned 20. I've never had a job and am about to graduate college with 20k in debt and they won't let me move back in with them. how fucked am I?
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>>52446481
>>52446366
You know exactly what to do, Champ.
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Going to the gym again, Champ? You don't need any of that nonsense. You can exercise by helping me do some yardwork. After that, we'll drive around town and get you a job. There's some construction taking place downtown, and I think that's right up your alley. All you've gotta do is show up, speak with the foreman, give him a firm handshake, and refuse to let go until he hires you right on the spot. Time to use those muscles for work, Champ!

What'dya mean you're worried about your mad gains, Champ? Nonsense. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to the factory for the interview. The manager was so impressed when I barged through the door that he hired me right on the spot. These days, I stay in shape by taking the stairs and walking up and down the assembly lines. You're bound to stay in shape once you get a job, Champ.




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