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Well boys, I asked her out. It was a train wreck, literally had sweaty palms and couldn't form a sentence, but I asked, anyway. Hardest thing I've ever done.

She said no.
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>>53332571
At least you did it, more than most people can say on this thread.

Including me
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>>53332571
You're putting too much into one girl hoping she'll love you back like it's a Disney movie. Christ sakes lad if you want a gf you have to make talking to girls your second job. Most women are similar so it's best to have an abundance mentality regarding them. If you're crushing that hard on one girl you already lost before you started.
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>>53332571
Same here bud, guess we are all doomed to lonliness.
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>>53332571
good shit bro, when I asked someone out for the first time recently, took her out, and she retroactively said she wanted to be friends, instead of getting sad, I felt like I got a huge load off my chest and now I don't have to lament and wonder about what could've been

hopefully the same will be true for you man
>>
good for you man

origiknls
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>>53332571
You'll do better with the next one! You'll get that gf yet, anon!
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>>53332772
bro you're a fucking loser if she said that without you even doing anything. she knew what you were trying to pull and shut your shit down right away. either become more attractive or more assertive, or keep to yourself because you're pussyfooting around what you really want, and you can't get it because you don't measure up.
>>
At least you asked. Next time you ask someone else it'll be easier
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>>53332571
had you gotten any signs of interest from her or was it a cold approach
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>>53332571
dont be down about it fren, its one step closer to your goal and use the experience you gained for the future and it will get easier
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>>53332830
>You'll do better with the next one!

Meh, this isn't really true.

You really need to get a "Yes" out of the first few girls you ask out in order to ever really be normal. Including juvenile middle school nonsense.

If the first girl you ask out in your life says no, get used to that pattern.
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>>53332849
what? I made it clear to her that I was asking her out on a date, she said yes, we went to a museum, she (and me too, in retrospect) both noticed we didn't really click in that way, and she let me know after it was over. I asked her out so I wouldn't wonder what could've been if I didn't, and noticed during the date that I didn't really feel the inclination to escalate despite me asking her out.

Now we're just good friends again and I don't care in the slightest. I investigated that possibility, it didn't work out, and we both moved on. How does that make me a loser?
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>>53332960
>How does that make me a loser?

Dude I think you know how that makes you a loser.
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>>53332830
or you'll end up like me with no new romantic interests since you burned yourself on oneitis shit too long
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>>53332952
>If the first girl you ask out in your life says no, get used to that pattern.

This. That first yes or no echoes. For a long time.
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>>53333001
No, I honestly don't. How does being rejected by one girl my first try in my entire life make me a loser? I know a bunch of Chads from working in my field and even they've been rejected before. It's literally no big deal.
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>>53332891
The signs were there, light physical contact, spending time alone with me, etc., but it may just be her personality.
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>>53333015
Yeah, if you're a literal teenager. If you're a normal adult, you've probably experienced rejection in some way, shape, or form already, not necessarily with romance, and you've moved on with your life already. Maybe you should grow up.
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>>53333043
>No, I honestly don't.

>He continues to pretend he doesn't know
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>>53333015
This anon is not kidding about that result echoing for a long time.

t. 25 year old robot who has been rejected numerous times
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>>53333087
I'm not pretending because I actually don't know. Maybe you should tell me if you're so much more experienced, smart guy.
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>>53333051
Haha damn OP you just got me'd.
We'll get em next time sport, just gotta be ourselves!
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>>53332571
Keep asking a bunch of girls now that you have nothing to lose ans get used to it youll find one by just repeating this now
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>>53333074
>If you're a normal adult, you've probably experienced rejection in some way, shape, or form already, not necessarily with romance, and you've moved on with your life already.

The people who do that well are people who got a "yes" the first time. That's the echo I'm talking about.

I'm just taking issue with the Horatio Alger outlook being pushed here. The way to be normal is to get a "yes" the first time (or better yet, the first five times). If you get no's later on, it's OK. But if you get a "no" the first time or five, a) forget being normal and b) get used to hearing "no" because you're going to hear it a shitload more times than your peers.
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>>53333104
>I'm not pretending because I actually don't know.

April Fool's, dude. I'm just fucking with you.

>I should have kept baiting this guy for a few more posts
>>
I asked a girl at uni out once by writing it down and showing her the notebook. I also asked one directly.

They both had boyfriends.
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>>53333190

>Actual footage of this anon asking a girl out
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>>53333125
>The way to be normal is to get a "yes" the first time (or better yet, the first five times). If you get no's later on, it's OK. But if you get a "no" the first time or five, a) forget being normal and b) get used to hearing "no" because you're going to hear it a shitload more times than your peers.
You're such a hopeless pessimist, and this is the mindset of someone who won't make it. This is literally not a normal outlook, not only with romance, but with life in general. If you got rejected from jobs the first five times, would you really say to stop trying because you'll never get a job and you'll never be normal? Should you just not go to college if you need it for your career, just because you got rejected from all your dream schools? Try telling that to the thousands of normalfags and zoomers on social media who complain about never getting jobs and into good schools, despite applying everywhere.

How I am supposed to believe you somehow know how to be normal if your perspective is literally the opposite of what most normal people say and how most normal people conduct themselves?
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>>53333153
Well I'm sorry, but it's hard to tell with people in here actually trying to put anons down for failure despite doing what most people on this board can't even do, which is try in the first place.
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>>53333051
never trust women lmao, i had a girl do all the usual signs of showing interest and then she even introduced me to her parents saying that she had "told them all about me". Turns out they were jehovahs witnesses trying to get me to join their fucking cult
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>>53333005
are you me? I can't relate to this board's fixation on women and crushing over any girl that gives them attention. there's like seven fembot threads in the catalog right now and shit just makes me sick.
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>>53333226
Bullying is mean. I did what I was supposed to do
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>>53333190
its ok sweaty you just gotta keep trying :)
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>>53332952
this is some straight truth right here. the first couple girls you approach and their reaction to your advances is a good measure for the kind of attention you'll get from women in the future. if you've already been rejected a handful of times you're most likely doomed, unless you somehow drastically change the circumstances in your life to make you much more attractive. doesn't mean you shouldn't still try though, just know what to expect and prepare for the worst. because you're going to be experiencing the worst.
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>>53333243
>If you got rejected from jobs the first five times, would you really say to stop trying because you'll never get a job and you'll never be normal?
this is not what he was saying
fuck you
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>>53333263
nevermind I take it back, you're a loser
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>>53333243
>You're such a hopeless pessimist, and this is the mindset of someone who won't make it.

Actually, I did make it - but I did so late, and there's a permanent hollowness associated with that.

During the last century there was a trope about how people who lived through the Great Depression were never really "normal" about money again, even if they ended up being very successful later in life. It leaves a mark. You're never really secure, not in the way other people are.

Let's consider two guys, each of whom gets one crush a year from 8th to 12th grade, for a total of 5 crushes. Guy A asks out his five crushes and they all say yes. Guy B asks out his five crushes and they all say no.

Surely you don't consider it a controversial claim if I say that Guy A and Guy B will *never* have the same outlook on women and life, *ever*, even if Guy B has success later on, and even if Guy A has failure later on? That early pattern casts their respective mindsets in emotional concrete.
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>>53333381
there is truth to this I can see from my own experiences. I got shut down hard by girls in middle and early highschool, and while I don't hold a grudge, those experiences have shaped how I interact with women even today. I never make my intentions known nor do I act on them, and instead I deliberately avoid women because I associate them with pain, and not just emotional but physical pain. you know that sinking feeling in your chest that's like a black hole going into your gut that making you feel sick? that's what I feel around women. I'm entirely avoidant.
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>>53333381
>Surely you don't consider it a controversial claim if I say that Guy A and Guy B will *never* have the same outlook on women and life, *ever*, even if Guy B has success later on, and even if Guy A has failure later on? Their early pattern casts their respective mindsets in emotional concrete.
Fucking hell I do, and it's telling that you used teenagers for your hypothetical to explain such a teenage mindset. For someone who's actually a normal adult, in any particular pursuit, the first success mitigates every single one of the previous failures. All Guy B needs to do is prove to himself that it's possible for him to succeed to not get bogged down with the failures, and to give him faith that even if things didn't work out, he can succeed again. Sure, if you only know failure without success even after dozens or hundreds of tries, it'll be easy to get bogged down. But all that matters is to gain that first one, and listen to any interview, even with a famous person, where they went through relentless failure only to succeed later, and they'll tell you the exact same thing. They never ever let their failures get to them, instead used them as learning opportunities to make them better, and just kept at it until they succeeded.

You think someone will care that he got rejected from a bunch of jobs in his field if he actually managed to land one? Or a high schooler will care if he got rejected from Harvard/Yale/Columbia if he got into Cornell? Or he got rejected by a few dozen girls but ultimately managed to find one and even get married? No, they won't.

Also,
>emotional concrete
>implying things as fleeting and ephemeral as emotions could ever be set down in concrete
>>
At least you tried hell I couldn't even do that
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>>53333525
you are completely mental go to normiegram to vent your normi perspective you have no business here
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>>53332571
Guarantee the next time you ask palms won't be as sweaty, well done man
And remember they will never say yes if you never ask
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>>53333482
>I never make my intentions known nor do I act on them
based and redpilled
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>>53333576
>normi perspective
Exactly, it's a normie perspective because it's how they fucking think and conduct themselves. I know a ton of successful normalfags because I've worked in hospitals and labs where people with lots of IRL achievements work and congregate, and literally all of them have this perspective in some way. How am I supposed to believe you guys know what it is to be normal when by your admission or implication none of you are normal?
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>>53333579
I'm not OP, but I'm cursed with hyperhidrosis. My palms are always sweaty. It's even worse when I'm doing something like meeting new people, which is exactly when it's the worst because there's usually a handshake involved. Or if by some miracle I ask a girl out and she says yes, she's probably going to want to hold my hand, then get disgusted and never want to see me again.
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>>53333622
fuck off to normiegram the if you like them that much
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>>53333663
Have met a few of people with hiperhidrosis, one of them even with some strong smelly sweat.

literally nobody cares, just don't get offended if they dry their hand a little on their clothes
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>>53333787
>just don't get offended
That's their first impression of me, and it never goes away. They'll always just remember me as the guy with gross sweaty hands.
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A braver robot than most. It sucks now, but you definetly wont regret this. Keep trying, anon
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>>53333295
it's ok apu
you did well!
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>>53333890
Is miserable failure really better than never trying? You get the same amount of success, but it's much more mentally draining.
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>>53333924
But you also get experience
not in a rpg kinda way
but your brain incounsciously learns some social patterns and the dos and don'ts
when you don't even try you don't get this neuronal rewiring.. you just stay the same + stimulating your habenula and amygdala
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>>53333951
However, if I don't try I can at least pretend to myself that if I did try I might have a shot. As soon as I try and do nothing but fail, I have to let go of that fantasy.
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>>53333982
thats some next level escapism
well if it really works for you then you should continue not trying lol
but for most people i guess reality is more fulfilling than fantasy, and the way i see is that enduring a couple of failures which potentialy raise my probability to achieve a goal is worth in the long run
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>>53334019
Reality is an endless stream of rejections. How exactly is that fulfilling?
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>>53333924
I have always found it better to learn a hard lesson than sit and wonder what could have been. If you never do anything to fix your lonliness, then youll stay lonley. At least failing shows you did everything you could, and now have all the reason to move on. Not acting will get you hung up on people from years ago
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>>53334053
It may hurt, but at least its honest. I would rather a shitty truth than a comfortable lie
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>>53334060
Words of wisdom here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmBwdeF50N8
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>>53334122
Can't argue with that bulletproof logic
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>>53334053
Reality is relative we're never going to grasp its true essence
Your interpretation of reality is limited by your brain: you can't think a new color, can you? yet there are animals which are capable of seeing a wider range of colors due to additional eye structures and their connection to the neuronal system.
This limitation implies in inter-species differences (like the one above) and intra-species differences: there's no way you can prove that what i see and call red is the same thing you see and call red due to variations in our same structures.

What i'm trying to say is that different beings have different interpretations of life and none is correct because they're limitated by their brain (which capacitates them to interpret things).
So
>Reality is an endless stream of rejections.
is not objectively true.
it's just a perception of the reality modulated by a neuronal network stressed by biological, psychological, social (and metaphysical?) factors.
If that's the interpretation that makes more sense to you, stick to it; but accepting that it's not true can be somehow freeing because you're now able to pick something else if you're unhappy with it.
You may call me a hypocrite for trying to push my vision (that reality can be fulfilling) over yours in a context of no absolute truth, but the thing that I value the most here is happiness and only by picking a rational and positive view of reality i am somehow trying to attain it.

i've struggled a lot with depression and being unmotivated in the past and this logical approach contributed for me to change how i see the world. i'm comparision to the past, i think i'm more happy now
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>>53333153
>>53333376
stop being so mean dickhead
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>>53334200
It is my reality. Sure, there are wavelengths of light that I can't perceive, but I can certainly understand when a woman rejects me. And every single one of them has. As of right now, I have scientific data showing that 100% of women will reject me. Each additional rejection just adds to the strength of that statement.
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>>53333005
I don't even understand how some of you suffer from oneitis at all after your teen years. So many god damn qts in the world why waste time on one who doesn't reciprocate your interest. It's just common sense.
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>>53334267
Is that what you really want? To not be rejected by a woman?
Become a normie then, there's some success in mediocrity.
You can sit in the corner thinking you're fated to be rejected or you can raise your ass and change your strategy: looks, lower expectations, how you interact with others...
there's no shame in that if that's what you really want

when i was a kid i saw a lot of friends who didn't get something they want (like a videogame) convince themselves that the videogame is actually shit and thus they didn't need that just to feel better
looks like you're doing that in some sort of way: you're convincing yourself that reality is just a series of rejection to not feel so bad of being rejected
but hey, you can continue doing that or you can change your game... just be prepared to fail.

also
> And every single one of them has
i bet this is relatively a small n if you compare to the world population so grow your fucking ass out of it
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>>53332571

Good on you man.
If you never try, your chances are always 0%.
If you try, your chances are always > 0%

There will be more coins to flip ahead in life.
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>>53334300
How many qts have you met that actually have qt personalities too? I haven't met many.
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>>53334358
Right now it's a relatively small n, but each one increases n and the strength of my claim.
>>
I was trying to get her alone to give her privacy to ask that personal question and now it's going to be months before I can see her again, or if I ever do. And how fucking stupid is it going to look when I message her on snapchat saying "just wanted to let you know I like loved you lol goodbye".
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>have final tomorrow
>classmate asked in groupchat if anybody wanted to study in the library, I was headed there anyway so I agreed to go
>turns out she's basically a way more attractive version of my ex, the similarity is really kind of eerie
>actually get a lot done, she's not an airhead
>we also like the same stuff, she studies the same thing and we talked about politics in general. I had an easy time talking to her
>but the final is tomorrow, and after that there's no reason to continue contact
>not sure what to do, don't want to be a creep that goes to study sessions looking for gfs, but sick of tired of not doing anything in life
>not even sure how to initiate contact again, only thing I can think of is catching her after the final, but that's a long shot and not worth planning for, I have to focus on my grade first.

I don't know what to do bros. This sucks.
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>>53332571
Same OP except she said she'd rather get to know me more
Preeeeetty sure it was a way to let me down easy
Its rough, bro, but at least you did it
>>53332603
>Most women are similar
False, I've met two girls that really fit my "type" and both were entirely by luck. Other girls are boring and have nothing to talk about
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>>53332571
Asking out the modern hybridized whore is cucked no matter how you look at it.
>>
bumperinoooo00
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>>53334912
Just message her after the final on whatever groupchat app thing she messaged on before and say that you had a nice time chatting with her while studying and ask if she wants to hang out sometime
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>>53335924
I don't know man, that just has a bad stigma associated with it that just won't work. You just don't ask people out because you got their contact info from a class groupchat...
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>>53332571
Know the feels man, but the anon is right, atleast you tried and that's a whole lot more than what some of us can say
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>>53335981
What I do to make sure that they don't feel awkward about it is I make sure to say "I totally get it if you wanna say no, no hard feelings(:" or something along those lines. Basically make it easy for her to say no.
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>>53336025
...uh that is not a good strategy, friend.

Anyways, it's not the awkwardness that's the issue. The issue is that it's simply just pathetic to ask a classmate out through a group messaging app. That's just the bare facts...
>>
I'm sorry OP u'll find someone worth ur time
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>>53333525
>For someone who's actually a normal adult, in any particular pursuit, the first success mitigates every single one of the previous failures.
This isn't really true, and I think you're trolling and not stupid enough to actually believe it.
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>>53332849
He says, while doing a whole lot of nothing. Do you ever go outside faggot?
>>
How can I trust? Girl, how can I trust? (Girl, how can I trust?)
It's not that I don't love you no more, girl I just can't stop (girl I just can't stop)
How can I trust? Girl, how can I trust?
Say that you don't go out no more, girl
But then you show up at the club
I just can't trust, I want to be the one
Why you don't hurt me no more girl? Why you can't trust?
What about us? Baby what about us?
I can't keep going like this, no, I don't want none
Can you tell me baby what you want from me? What you want from me?
Why do I get feeling like you playing me? Why you playing me?
Thaiboy Goon, SG, baby you know who I be, (you know) who I be
I don't know baby but you be draining me (girl you envy me)
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>>53336072
>This isn't really true
nah, it's pretty true, at least for people of strong constitutions i.e. most chads, athletes and famous people
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>>53332603
sadly what this guy said
its more of a numbers game than anything else
the more girls you go for the higher the chances you will actually find one you really like
dont believe in all this romcom bullshit you were fed by media
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>>53334912
"Hey, wanna hang out after this stupid final?"
Cmon son your goal is just to maintain contact here, its not really even asking someone out. If you cant get those simple words out youll face a lifetime of shitty "what if" questions. If they say no for some reason then, whatever, not like you were gonna see them around again anyways.
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>>53332571
good job, OP I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there
and now you've gained exp for the next challenge
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>>53332571
At least you tried, which is more than most men do. I'm proud of you anon.
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>>53333381
lmao comparing getting rejected a few times to living through the Great Depression, how actually pathetic
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>>53333525
>listen to any interview, even with a famous person, where they went through relentless failure only to succeed later, and they'll tell you the exact same thing.

That story would not be complete.

The guy who becomes a famous scientist might have had many failures *as a practicing scientist* before succeeding, but his first encounters with *intellectual activity in general* would not have been failures. Every last one of those guys would have been the smartest person in their environment as a child, and not the school retard. The earliest lessons they would have learned about intellectual activity were "I'm really good at this, and people around me acknowledge that. I think I'll try to invent vulcanized rubber!" Your 20 failures at inventing vulcanized rubber would be floating on the emotional substrate of talent that had previously been recognized.

People who "never let their failures get to them" succeeded early and often and remember that as they move through life. That's exactly my point.

>Or he got rejected by a few dozen girls but ultimately managed to find one and even get married? No, they won't.

Yes, they will.

>implying things as fleeting and ephemeral as emotions could ever be set down in concrete

You can't change the past, and the past leaves a mark. Whether for good or bad. Don't lie to people and tell them it goes away, because it doesn't.
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>>53336845

Differences in degree aren't differences in kind. The *process* here would be the same.
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>>53333274
hahahha jehovah works in mysterious ways
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>>53332571
Damn and just think right now shes probably getting bent over the couch by chad. And youre on 4chan
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>>53332578
How do you do that thing where the last word in your post is hidden?
>>
When I was in school, everybody liked me and wanted to be friends. I hated it. I hated people coming up to me and asking dumb shit and I was always polite and nice to them. Hope that girl will never see your fat fugly mouth breather face again.
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>>53332571
At least you went and did it. I could never.
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>>53338135
you [/spoiler]lurk moar
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>>53338440
So you mean like this, kind of?
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>>53332571
On the one hand that sounds rough, because you got rejected. On the other hand, you got the truth. She does not want to go out with you, ever. Now you can move on with a clean conscience, with the freedom of knowing that you have done all that you can. There will be no unanswered questions in the back of your mind like "but what if", because you already know the answer to all of those questions.

She does not like you that way, and she never will. Your heart is now free to do love someone or something else that will be more receptive to your love.

Also, please know that you did nothing wrong. It is all about the looks when it comes to romantic love that way (your facial harmony), and she did not enjoy yours. Did you like her for her facial harmony? Be honest - if she was a 1/10 with the exact same personality, would you have wanted her they way you do now? Once you realize that it is all about the face, you can apply it to yourself and examine how shallow you are yourself, and see if you had unrealistic aspirations to begin with. And alos, there is nothing you can or could have done about this rejection, because we can not change how our face looks. Aim lower next time if you want to improve your chances of success. Go for your honest looksmatch or below.
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>>53332571
you got lucky.
mine said yes, postponed it to same-time-next-week by text when I was already there, then stopped responding.
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>>53332571
Good job man. Most of people I know dont even have the guts to approach the woman they like.
Im about to do the same thing. And I know what you're feelin fren. Just keep your chin up and keep going
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>>53332571
At least you tried and you were brave.

I have asked out a couple of girls in my time and more often than not it did not work. I never regretted a single one of those attempts because at least I tried. Those I still think about even years later are the ones where I never had the guts to even ask.
>>
>>53332571
hey man, you had the balls to do it and for that you should be proud. Now you don't have to wonder about her response. You know she isn't interested and you can move on to the next one. Just keep improving yourself and trying, I promise it'll pay off someday.
>>
>>53332952
this is stupid. "if the first few girls say no just give up" is terrible advice. Either adjust your standards or work on improving youself, and just keep trying. I applied to 30 internships last year and didn't get a single one. The 31st I applied to, I got. I only needed to get one. Dating is exactly the same. Failure doesn't last forever unless you let it.
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>>53333325
I agree, but you expect these defeatist retards to ever listen to you? They are in this situation because they subconsciously want it. All they do is whine and expect girls to come to them
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>>53332603
Very solid advise here OP, yet sadly all that that will lead to is an above zero chance of landing a 4/10 with whom you probably won't be happy with. Been there, done that and got the T-Shirt




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