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[s4s] - Sh*t 4chan Says


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Thoughts?
>>
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>>5893893
I think I'm your father
>>
im sleepy cause i didnt go to sleep yet....
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>>5893896
How did you give birth to a cartoon?????
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>>5893893
toast grill
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>>5893902
2D vagene
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>>5893909
/me sighs, rolls over and goes back to bed
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>>5893893
Lulo a cute!
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>>5893903
Cute!
>>
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Lulo a cute. CUTE.
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I'm not sad today... What the hell am I doing right today?
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Thoughts?
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I LOVE LULO!
>>
I wanna fug luluco
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>be me
>at a bar
>cute chick making eyes at me
>start talking
>invite her over
>my apartment has two bathrooms, one in my bedroom, and a guest one
>I always keep the guest one "broken" unless I'm expecting family/male/unattractive female company
>she goes in there
>stays in a while
>I listen and hear massive farts but no plops or splashes
>she comes out without flushing or washing her hands
>I go in on reconnaissance
>lift toilet lid
>empty
>sudden smell fresh eggs
>put face in bowl and inhale
>cough a little, strongest eggy/sulphury fart I ever smelt
>come out and she's crying
>"what's wrong?"
>"I should have just told you... I'm pregnant. The father left. Oh, you must think I'm trying to trap you or something. *sobs* I'm sorry, I just, can't handle it all right now, you know?"
>comfort her
>internally come to the conclusion that I have to get rid of her soon, but can't pass up this opportunity
>look her in the eyes
>make out furiously
>go in bedroom
>hav sum unprotected fuk
>she falls asleep immediately after climaxing without a word
>>
>sqeaky fart
>engage boner
>flip around
>bury nose into bountiful pregnant pale white buttcheeks
>smell the eggy goodness
>think about pressing on stomach to induce more fart
>unsure if will hurt baby or not
>decide fuck it, he's still an embryo, and even if I accidentally abort him mothers life will be saved (she was fucking 22)
>press gently
>feels like a balloon
>slightest pressure cause enormous amounts of gas to escape
>each stronger than the last
>gas simply doesn't run out
>stop at like 7am after fourth orgasm and try to get some sleep
>wake up at ten from loud fart right in my face
>she's still fucking asleep
>>
>>5894717
>>5894713
who are you quoting?
>>
>shake her shoulder a bit
>she stretches her arms and back with a long, rusty-hinge sounding fart
>rolls over and is still asleep
>let's keep it that way
>close blinds and turn off all lights
>go get my scuba helmet
>attatch her butthole instead of oxygen tank
>breathe in nothing but her pure, never ending supply of sulfur
>best experience of my life
>would hold breath until hear farts then gulp for air
>orgasm three times
>she just keeps farting
>eventually steady flow of gas is just seeping out of her
>fall asleep next to it, feeling the warm, eggy breeze
>wake up and she is gone, but left huge diarrhea in toilet and vomit in trash can
Never saw her again, and probably for the best, too. Preggo bitches be cray
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>>5894710
Me too bby
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>>5894725
I'm speechless.
>>
>>5894713

>CRTL+F
>>be me
>>at a bar
>>cute chick making eyes at me
>>start talking
>>invite her over
>>my apartment has two bathrooms, one in my bedroom, and a guest one
>>I always keep the guest one "broken" unless I'm expecting family/male/unattractive female company
>>she goes in there
>>stays in a while
>>I listen and hear massive farts but no plops or splashes
>>she comes out without flushing or washing her hands
>>I go in on reconnaissance
>>lift toilet lid
>>empty
>>sudden smell fresh eggs
>>put face in bowl and inhale
>>cough a little, strongest eggy/sulphury fart I ever smelt
>>come out and she's crying
>>"what's wrong?"
>>"I should have just told you... I'm pregnant. The father left. Oh, you must think I'm trying to trap you or something. *sobs* I'm sorry, I just, can't handle it all right now, you know?"
>>comfort her
>>internally come to the conclusion that I have to get rid of her soon, but can't pass up this opportunity
>>look her in the eyes
>>make out furiously
>>go in bedroom
>>hav sum unprotected fuk
>>she falls asleep immediately after climaxing without a word

You're the mvp. s4s never disappoints
>>
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Thoughts?
>>
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Does anyone else take 2 hour showers where they spend half the time lying down in the tub jerking off with their butt?
If you do it right, it really tires you out, but the afterglow is so nice.
The hot steam also has time to clean out your pores and moistens dead skin cells so you can exfoliate easier and you come out of the shower feeling refreshed af.
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>>5895500
Showering so long with hot water destroys your skin.
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>>5893893
no thanks
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>>5895736
it's a good thing I don't do it everyday then!
also don't forget to turn the water ice cold for the last 5 minutes to cool off and tighten your pores
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>>5895742
Thoughts?
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>>5896478
No thanks im good
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Thoughts?
>>
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breakfast time!
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>>5894713
>>5894717
Fucking disgusting.
>>
>>5894712
came here to post this tbh desu fam senpai



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