Alright troops, listen up! Segmentum Command has ordered us, along side a handful of other Imperial Guard regiment's, to the planet "Rachnis", of the "Widow" system. Intel is sketchy at best, but from what we know, we'll be exterminating some sort of minor Xeno race. I bet you they'll have eight or more eyes.------------------------------------------------------------1d4Chan: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_/tg/Steam Group: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.FAQ:>What the fuck is this?Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.>When do you guys make these threads?Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.>Can I join in?Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.>Is there any requirement in character creation.Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.>So how you guys do the playan'?We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone. We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.It's important to know that the regiment is now no longer in the employ of a dozen+ radical Inquistors, and have instead been folded back into guard ranks of Ultima Segmentum. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.>Why don't you people move to quest?We're not a quest that's why.
>>52272283Alright, we're translating out of the warp now. Looks like we're the first ones here, sensors indicate no other ships in the system.
>>52272317>stands off to the side with a mug of recaf and a sour expressionHurray, no backup.
>>52272283>Thunda would be seated on the floor of the hanger, stacking spent Ripper gun casings on top of each other.>"An' dis go der'. You get to go der'... An' d'en you go here!"
>>52272461>>52272476>Having gotten bored of playing with his Ripper gun ammo. Thunda would thump his way over towards the Lance Corporal.
>>52272686>rolling his eyes, Forze turns to the OgrynWhat?
>hank would be screaming while Dwight is laughing madly
>>52272703>The large Bone 'ead would look down at the man before him. A bored expression on his face, as he stares down at him.Thunda bored! You not do anything. You do something with Thunda before we leave! Then we both not bored!>He'd would nod his head, a proud smile on his face.Me so smart, involving you!
>>52272283>>52272317>>52272461Lovely... No intel, no backup, and no idea what might be dirtside. Sounds like fun.
>>52272786Dwight: Just anotha fuckin day..Hank: N-No backup..?
>>52272810Sounds like it, at the very least. Reminds me of my previous deployment.
>>52272810>>52272786>Malak would give a friendly, yet firm pat upon Hank's back as he walks past him. Flashing the troops a cocky, brotherly smile.That just means that all the glory for this victory goes to us, men!
>>52272853Eh, I guess you Scions deserve it.
>>52272880>He'd ignore the older man's comment. Himself having meant that the glory would go to "the regiment", not just the regiment's Scion detachment.Consider yourselves lucky, men! You're doing the universe a favour by riding it of foul Xeno monsters! And in thirty to forty years, the colonists that settle this planet will build statues, and memorials to remember the brave guardsmen who helped clear this world for them! They'll tell tales of this for generations to come!
>>52272852>hank sweats>>52272853>Dwight glares at him
>>52272939Dwight: Please shut up..
>>52272778>Forze turns his back to the OgrynI'm just waiting to drop. Not bored.>>52272786>the Lance Corporal smirks
>>52272945>>52272880>>52272939So smile would you? While you've still got something to smile about. >He'd load a fresh canister into the Meltagun he was carrying.After all, a little smile does wonders for morale around here!
>>52272992>The bone 'ead would frown at this, before angerly stomping his foot.But Thunda bored, and you not doing anything!
>>52272939Wait, how big is this planet? It can't have enough room for that many statues, habs AND industry... Can it?>>52273006Eh, I'll smile when I have something to smile about all right.>has a sullen look on his face
>>52273040>the Warhawk then reaches down to his gear and starts putting it on, adjusting his grav-chute and flight maskNow I am.
>>52272959>Malak would let out a small sigh, before looking over towards Dwight.Alright, fine! If that's the way you want to act->Picking up a shotgun from a nearby rack, he would force ably shove it into Dwight's hands, along with forecably removing any other weapon he might have had on him, as he does so.Then I am ORDERING you, to get SET, for the drop! And if the next words that come out if your mouth aren't "Yes, Tempestor!" I'll personally pull the trigger on the bolt pistol! Do I make myself CLEAR!>With this now settled, Malak would cast a friendly look towards Hank, and Xerxes, before making his way towards one of the Scion's transports.I'd suggest you two get set as well. It's a long way down to the surface.
>>52273170>Forze wheezes out a laughYeah, sure, you can order us around. You ain't even Penal, cockbite.>he shrugsThat being said, I'm dropping now.>he walks to the airlock and jumps out with no ceremony
>>52273170Aye, sir.>Walks to the transport he has been assigned to
>>52273068> The Ogryn's lips would purse together into a pout, as he would begin stomp his feet angerly at this! His feet echoing loudly throughout the hanger, as he grumbles.Merrrrrr... Not fair!>He'd remain angry for a few moments, before hearing the chime, signaling for everyone to board their transports. Causing his eyes to go wide.Me got go now! Have things to kill! Make Cur'ah'nel proud!
>Malak would take his place at the entrance ramp of the Valkyrie dropship. Silently count up, as he awaits the Ship's Captain to give the landing force the green light to deploy.
>>52273338>Once the green light had been given to the dropship's pilot, alongside the pilots of the various Devourer's. Malak would brace himself as his transport lifted off the deck, and out into the void. It, alongside side several other similar Valkyrie's on a direct course for the planet below, and the FOB they were headed to.
>>52273338Dwight: FUCK you, Tempestor.>he gets in the airlock>Hank does so as well, reluctantly
>to the Tempestor malakhey wait for me it may have a relic or interesting xenos lifeform down there
>>52273885FUCK interesting xenos life form >he has 2 flamers on his mechandrites Cheryl also has a flamer strapped to her head>he seems to have been quite shaken by the '8 eyes' comment
>He'd be awakened at the notification that the regiment was in orbit of the target planet.>But what really woke him up, besides his morning swig, was the fact the regiment had done nothing>This motivated the Colonel to get on the vox and announce very loudly across the ship"WHAT THE BLYET IS WE STILL ON THE FUCKING ORBIT FOR? FUCKING LAND THIS PIECE OF SHIT YOU INCOMPETENT SUKI! AS FOR EVERYONE NOT RELATED TO LANDING SHIP! GET FUCK READY WE ARE GOING TO DIRT AND YOU WILL KILL ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HUMAN BLYAT! MOVE DAVAI DAVAI DAVAI IS NOT DRILL YOU FUCKSHITS EVERYBODY BOARD WHATEVER WE MUST GOING IN! PRAISE EMPEROR AND IDI NAHUI ALREADY! MOVE!">Now with his deployment orders officially ringing in everyone's ears or equivalient hearing organs/equipment he would calm down, take another swig, and get ready himself>He would declare another thing across the ship before departing from his quarters"OH AND IF YOU COWARDLY DOGS THINK IS GOING TO BE JUST ANOTHER DAY LIKE BEFORE, NYET! YOU ARE WRONG! I SHALL OF LEAD BY EXAMPLE, FROM FRONT LINES, SHOW YOU HOW IS DONE! FOR EMPEROR! Blyet...how do I turn off this thing?">Now with both his orders of deployment, which meant deploying everything apparently, the colonel really didn't specify, and his statement that he will be personally leading the charge ringing in everyone's hearing organs/equipment the Colonel would move toward the hangars hastily to board the nearest Valkyrie
>>52273885>And just like that, the Scions were fully deoyed, and heading towards the planet.>The only transports left now, were the Devourer landing craft.>Probably should get there early, if you want a seat that has a function seatbelt.
>>52273974well off we go then, those eight eyed bastard won't know what are going to fall on them>>52274207you heard the tempestor, we have to be quick
>>52274243Ok lets go then>he begins shuffling off under the combined weight of the flamers
>>52274207>After a few moments of flight, the Valkyire dropships would have entered the planetary atmosphere, and would br begining landing procedures at FOB. and discord is out offline...
okay now we have to be prepared, those lifeforms are quite dangerous we have to be careful and have an auspex at handby precaution i might use some xeno tech but it's 100% sanctified so don't worry
>>52274703>Moments later, the loading ramps would lower on all of the Valkyrie dropships, allowing several squads of Tempestus scions to spread out, and secure the area for the incoming landers.
>>52274881>Soon enough the rest of the landing craft arriveassuming control of landing craft to get things moving again
>>52275282>Upon seeing the large, Devourer class landers finally arrive planet side. Malak would send a vox message to the Judgement.Tempestor Lead to Judgement Actual. LZ is secured, and boots are on the ground. Feel free to send down those prefab structures for us, over!
>>52274786>has only just a registered the sentence Wait we can do that?!?
>>52272283What is the source for OPs image?
>>52275601shut up and get the prefab rolling our men need beds and nursery
>>52275410>As the troops unload, prefab structures are flown tothe area: Barracks, medbays, bunkers and a multi-part headquarters>Finally, ammunition, food and other supplies are flown in
>>52275698Meh ask another techpriest or better yet use one that's already built!>gestures to the background
>>52275282>Once the large, Devourer lander had arrived and begun deploying the company it contained within. Thunda would panickedly run out of it, his big, meaty arms flailing all about, as for some reason, a live octopus has crawled into his face.>Once he had reached the ground itself, the big Ogryn bone 'ead would begin trying to bash the octopus off with a rusty pipe.
>go in the distance fucking tech priest
>>52275863>shouts after himFuck you too!Have a nice day!
>>52275858>>52275863>>52275904>>52275799>Noticing the amount of extra and unnecessary noise going on around the DIY FOB, Malak would raise a curious brow.Awful noisy today all things considered...
>>52275858hey stand still big boy or you'll get hurt>proceed to pinch the octopus these are octopus gorgonus>the octopus is now playing dead and the tentacle get off the face of thundait's a really good pet because of their faculty to recycle CO2 into oxygen, it's extra rare so you might want to keep it, okay big boy ?
>>52275949>it'll quiet down once the battle is over.>Is carrying an ammo crate toward a bunker, smoking some sickly-sweet-smelling substance in his bone pipe
>>52276078>somehow pops up behind himNarcotics?
>>52276134Hm? Well, yes. How so?
>>52276134>somehow pops up behind the other shouldermaybe relaxant to forget a troubled past the bone pipe doesn't seem functional maybe a gift ?
>>52276011>Thunda would cast a confused look down towards the shiny tech man infront of him. The lone, rusted gear that was Thunda's brain, working tirelessly at an overclocked rate, in order to try and understand any of what the Tech-Priest man had said.>If one listened very carefully, they could probably hear the sound of steam escaping from the Ogryn's ears.Duuuuuh....>Languistics check at 97%...98%...99%....>....>.......>..........>.............>........................>Connection error! Restarting system.>Grabbing the octopus from the shiny man's hand. Thunda would shove the entirety of the creature into his mouth, before chewing.>Loud, horrific, horrifyingly painful sounding screeches, and cries of pain can be heard coming from the dying creature inside his mouth.>Gulp!Me no hungry now! Yay!
>>52276191>turn his head to the ogrynNO NO NO BAD THUNDA> proceed to perform an ancient bioritual discovered by the explorator Heimlich>the octopus is now being regurgitatedyou just put it ON YOUR MOUTH not IN YOUR MOUTH
>>52276180Well yes I'm collecting them I have quite a large bat off this strange pink stuff which I have yet to identify >>52276189Probably but the pipe seems to function which suggests that it was a formal gift which a person or persons spent a large amount of time on
>>52276189It was indeed a gift, and a functioning one thanks to some carving. However, that is as far as I am willing to take this conversation. Unless you are making a mental checkup, my past is in the past and will stay there.
>>52276307i win too
>>52276279This stuff? Just some relaxant. Made from some grass-like plants if I remember it correctly. Here, I'm about to get a new shipment of it any day now, you can have a bit.>hands him a small plastic package of brown plant extractI don't know what they mix it with, but it has little in the side effects. Maybe a bit slower reactions and thought process, but nothing too big.
>>52276472Thanks I will value it as I a holy STC bestowed upon us by the omnissiah him/her self then… and then I shall smoke it
>>52276526do not get carried away utitur, you do not need this, preserve it to anihilate pain when doing surgical operation
>>52276609Doesn't really dull senses, just the mind, so I would rather get amasec for my surgeries.
>>52276274>Thunda would look down at the man after he had just caused him to burp up a half eaten and nearly deceased octopus.>The octopus if it could speak, would probably be begging for someone to kill it.>Thunda would pick it up, and once again eat it.
>>52276657Heya! Yeah, er... Sorry about being late, um, I had some important matter to deal with.
>>52276609You're no fun…>>52276688WAIT WHAT DID HE JUST EAT?!? Was it an old Terran animal which is worth an amazing amount of money?!?
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>52276688WhatThe Absolute Shit>Rogal fires, shooting it precisely before the Bone'ead could eat it.
>>52276688ahh fuck it anyway it release high poisoning toxin when eaten so i doubt you 'll understand why you hae tentacles poping out of your butthole
>>52276731Eh? Apologize to someone in charge if to anyone. For now, it's time for preparing the base and chitchat. While command looks down on the latter, they haven't cracked down on it yet so I guess it's okay.
>Having landed and taken the time to get into the correct state for battle Piss drunk>The colonel was now inspecting the hastily (and poorly) established FOBWhat the shit is this blyet? >He would grunt, take a heavy swig from his canteen and move onwardsI wish was back home in Valhalla, or Valhallan regiment instead of chucklefucks blyet
>>52276764Wait who are you I don't think we've met>casually ignores everything that just happened
>>52276837Yes... Supposedly some ratlings... were having fun in my quarters. Anyways>Holsters Laspistol>>52276688Look. How could you do something like that! why! I'm sorry, it's... it's really cruel>Gives throne geltwhy don't you go buy some ice cream rather than eat poor animals live.
>>52276864I'm Guardsman Rogal, I'm part of a tank crew for a baneblade. I'm the gunner.
>>52276857I wish that too, sir.>continues carrying ammo and smoking his pipe
>>52276890We have a baneblade?!? Cool lemme see>looks around
>>52276896Yuo wish to be on Valhalla or wish that I am on Valhalla? Eh is nice gesture, either way I agree, now back...doing whatever you are doing. I hope it serves purpose. Carry on>He'd walk off looking for other points to adress>>52276912I fucking hope is correct. Would bring much advantage. Either way what the shit are yuo doing standing around like useless piece of..uselessness! Back to work! We need this Eff Oh Bee in ready order for our glorious assault against filthy xenos who do things that was specified in intel which I did not read
i think we should fortify our position i think the xenos will rush us>point at guardsyou, you and you get sandbags in circle around the prefab
>>52277090Oye! Yeah mate! WE have one, just... I'm part of a soldier exchange program by the Administratrum to increase morale between regiments and increase tolarance.
>>52277259Morale? Tolerance? Hah!
>>52277259We're a penal regiment to be trusted with even one of these is a great honour >goes back to fortifying his anti 8-eyed creature bunker >he has requisitioned (stolen) four more flamers from r static defence leading his total flames count at 7
>>52276758BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRPP!!!>>52276764>The octopus would have been in his mouth to quickly for him to shoot it.>>52276775>He'd burp. Causing a tentacle to hit the shiny man right in the face.MMM... >>52276868>The Bone 'EAD would look at the man for a moment, confused at what he's doing.>That lone gear that was Thunda's brain would be busy turning. Trying to allow him to comprehend the action.>After a moment, he would pay the man's head, as if he were a rabbit.
>>52277335>Tries desperately to ignore the urges to cut Thunda open and retrieve the skeleton for possible cloning from marrow
>Rachnis is a dry planet dotted with ridges and hills>the sun sets on the world and, as there is no moon, it gets very dark
>>52277259>>52277090>Speaking of Baneblades...>The landers Devourer class transports of the 277th Orvustillian Mechanised Infantry Regiment would decend from the sky at this point. Only to moments later , land at the FOB. It's drill like nose opening up, and a large loading ramp decending to the ground. Followed by dozens of men and women, and just as many vehicles.>One lander would even deploy the Regiment's lone Baneblade, "True Steel", into the encampment.>Sitting atop it, would be the CO of the regiment, Colonel Harune Malcovune. His grey officer uniform completely spotless, as he sits atop the enourmus tank's outer hatch.> Taking a deep breath of the air, the young man would smile.Ahhhh! Another world, and another glorious victory in the making! The sight of the destruction that True Steel will cause, will surely make these foul Xeno's flee for their miserable lives!
>>52277404>He'd pick up the stray tentacle from the shiny man's face, before sticking it back into his mouth.Dis chewy, but hard to eat. Keep trying to came up from tum-tum!
>>52277421>screams >runs into his bunker locking the door, the flamers start scanning for any signs of anything remotely arachnid
>>52277653light up the luminator the night will be long
>>52277677NO!That will give away our position quickly come inside I don't trust the main base…I mean for one all the structures are located naked through tunnels goi underground which is bad obviously Secondly everyone is way too loud and it is too bright now take this flamer and be very VERY quiet
>>52277757You can crash with us in the Baneblade, we have lights as well, and guns.
>>52277757Ah. Yes, you must be scared of old monster movies. You'll be fine, just come with us. I love the Geno-Former. It is about a Genestealer cult picking off survivors of a ship crash on a space hulk, we're watching it right now. It's really good!
>>52278031Yours is, for the phsychologocol effects, designed to be too loud when turned on for the guns and lights to function mine is silent and has many flamers park the baneblade next to my bunker then we can use it when the arachnidoids come and we are overwhelmed
>>52278094Look. I spent a month on Alterevis VII. You know, the planet in constant civil war. Trust me, I'm not scared. I have a >*snicker*teddy tyranid in my baneblade ,if you want.
>>52278068As good as that film is I beg of you to come into my spi-arachnid proof bunker and position your baneblade (on silent running with the lights off) as an escape
>>52278141Okay, fine.Commander Anton, can you move it here?>Why, ah, I seeThanks!
>>52278094>>52278141>>52278109>Malak would look back and forth between the men. Unsure of whom was the bigger moron of the two.Don't you morons have anything better to do?
>>52278109DO NOT MOCK ME I AM FAR FAR OPDER THAN YOU I HAVR SURVIVED BEING UNSIDE THE EYE O- A VERY SCARY PLACE AND MY FEAR IS JUSTIFIED>>52278160thank you now please take this flamer and get inside the hatch>>52278172I was told to do something okay!
>>52278172I'm not a moron! He is bugging me, and I have no choice but to give in to peer pressure.
>>52278192The Eye of Terror. You were on Cadia? Damn. The only time I had to deal with chaos was during the siege of vraks, my family went on a pilmarige trip.
>>52278213Shush now I let you in my bunker and trusted you with a flamer the night has fallen so be silent but also we should probably let Malak in too>>52278230N-no course not y-you must have misheard
>>52278261>knock on the bunker doorLet me in
>>52278320>spins around in a circle Who-wha I just let you in… And gave too one of my precious flamers!
>>52278192>>52278213>>52278230>The Tempestor would let out a rather loud, and exaggerated sounding sigh.You're both idiots...
>>52278364Shut up and get in! Wait how many people are in here? head count all present say aye
>>52278418>He'd face palm the front of his helmet.You realise you left your micro bead on, right? We can both talk to eachother over Large distances...
>>52278508Oh okay then you stay in mainbase then tell me when you are eaten ok?
>>52278580I count about 20 inside right now.
>>52278508Well, you should bloody come in! It is really scary out there, especially with romours of a tryranid infestation somewhere here.
>>52278701We are at maximum capacity then I guess lets seal the door armoured shutters down and into the soundproof room! But remember despite soundproofing silence is the best prevention of noise>>52278662Wait one of you sounds wrong…YOU he third one to respond you were too loud you'd best not be responsible for all of us dying!
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>52278825>Sudenly, you hear a massive roar. You peek outside a window, and you see a swarm of bugs decend upon the base! ARM THE GUNS!
>>52278877Uh, I'm doing the villains this thread my dude.
>>52278953sorry mate. Also could I have a link to the discord.
>>52278975I'm afraid not, as it seems like discord is borked right now.
>>52278975https://discord.gg/ymCpp but discord's having technical difficulties. Keep that in mind.
>>52278825Okay then. Who wants to see Geno-Morphs II!
>>52278825You know what. Fuck it, this is stupid. >Opens door and takes out ciggarette.
>>52279060Suddenly, you see a lovable, cute, huggable dog appear>WOOF! WOOF! BORK! He is in the bunker.
>>52279025Soundproof room in back it's already loaded the volume is locked don't try and change it come when called because we're probably going to be under arrack >>52279060>locks door behind him>over vox Run you bastard you're giving us away!>>52279109Okay then… >leads dog into soundproof room >is fighting the rising urge to kill the security breach decides to compromise and give the people watching the film extra guns
>>52279173>slowly the hours pass, as we watch movies, drink, and pass out>It is now 7:00 A.M. WAKE UP YOU BUMS! >FIRES BOLTPISTOL INTO THE AIRGET UP! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET UP AND GIVE ME 12 LAPS AROUND THE LANDING AREA!
>>52279173RISE UP! >BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!GET UP, RUN LAPS!
>>52279305Could be worse…>turns to people from bunkerThank you for joining me if you choose to be safe again tonight I will try and source more alcohol and I'm taking suggestions for he film
>>52279370Ah>Runs over the 12 lapsThis is hard, I'm staying in the Banblade next time.
>>52279407Fine by me as long as you keep it on silent running with no lights on and keep it parked close
>>52279370Suddenly, you hear the sounds of autoguns firing off. Some POWS were captured from a sneak attack last night, and are being shot by firing squad. Blood guts, and brain matter is everywhere, splattering the walls. >Damn.
Who the hell is Commander Anton?
>No to be serious though, where is everyone?
>>52279489The baneblade commander, we have two currently. >>52277562Also, this is my main charecter.
>>52279504asleep or lurking in discord
>>52279525Can you get in the discord?
>>52279560No. Invite isn't working.
>>52279588https://discord.gg/8u2UgThis lasts for 30 minutes.
>>52272283that picture looks like it was drawn by tumblr.
>Luciena wandered as her long red robe glided across the ground, dozens if not hundreds of small mechanical tendrils spewing out from under it as she muttered to herself in binary, >one perked up at the smell of motor oil dripping and looked at a nearby tank husk
>>52280297>Malak would watch the Magos with a curious gaze. Wondering what they were up to...
>The colonel would send out scout patrols to map out the surrounding area and confirm that it is indeed secure.>He found it simultaneously disappointing and amusing at how generally incompetent the regiment was. But he was determined to at least try, since dying, even as the appeal of the concept grew each day, wasn't on the top of his to-do list. >After personally assigning three squads to scout ahead, he would curse the regiment for its ridiculous inefficiency. Before returning to the command post.